Submit a Review
Title: Chapter 1-Cast

I like the story, it reads from third person a bit. Maybe try from first person? Sergio is horrid. I hope Luciano beats his arse.



Author's Response:

Thank you, Apple.  Thank you for the advise about the first person.  I think I have an idea where to use it.

 Reviewer: Apple Signed starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: August 06 2013 07:24 am
Title: Chapter 5

Nice chapter.It tells lot about Fernando and his family...Like them already.It was quite long too.



Author's Response:

TY. Zoe Zoey. Just to clarify it is Luciano's family. Fernando is just like family though. I hope the chapter was not confusing. Thank you for reading.

 Reviewer: zoe zoey Signed [Report This]
Date: July 19 2013 03:21 pm
Title: Chapter 5

This chapter was pretty long and great. I really like Fernando and Dang family. They sure are a lively crew.

Author's Response:

Thank you for reviewing.  I thinkk you are the only one reading :).

 Reviewer: juno Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 19 2013 12:45 pm
Title: Chapter 4

Loving this story. I can't wait to be introduce to more of the characters.

Author's Response:

Reviewer: juno Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: July 19 2013 12:30 am
Title: Chapter 1-Cast

The writing seems promising but those chapters are just too ridiculously short. also it is explained that Luciano is part Thai part Italian but what is Jayden ethnicity? Her name sounds like she is latin american but she looks white in the cast pictures. Keep the good work going.



Author's Response:

Reviewer: RedHobo Signed starstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: July 16 2013 09:19 pm
Title: Chapter 3

Great start.I hope the nxt chapters will be longer though.Looking forward to the nxt update



Author's Response:

Reviewer: zoe zoey Signed [Report This]
Date: July 16 2013 03:34 pm
Title: Chapter 1-Cast

Hello! Nice job on this story. It has a promising begininng and you have a nice writing style. The only thing big thing is that your chapters are waaay too short. When I started to get into the characters and the story, the chapter ended. :( I know you asked for feedback and it was almost like you were hesistant to write more, maybe? But don't be! What I read was really good but it was almost like a teaser or a preview not the actual story. I'm looking forward to reading more of your stories so keep up the good work!



Author's Response:

Reviewer: partial2passion Signed [Report This]
Date: July 16 2013 03:27 pm
Title: Chapter 3

I am really getting into this story. I can't wait for Jayden and Luciano to meet.

Author's Response:

Thank you, Juno.

I have the next chapter in the process. Just tweeking everything.

 Reviewer: juno Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 16 2013 10:30 am
Title: Chapter 2

Interesting start. Update soon.

Author's Response:

Next chapter up.  Thank you for reviewing.

 Reviewer: juno Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 16 2013 09:13 am
Title: Chapter 1-Cast

Nice pics.

Author's Response:

Thank you.

 Reviewer: juno Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: July 16 2013 09:11 am


Enter the security code shown below:
Note: You may submit either a rating or a review or both.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.