Reviews For Breathe (revised)
Title: Epilogue

Great story!

Reviewer: aprilfool Signed [Report This]
Date: October 17 2017 03:16 pm

Title: Epilogue

Excellent story with a happy ending, loved it!!!!!   Thanks keep up the amazing work!

Reviewer: Cindi47 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 07 2015 02:09 am

Title: Cause and Effect

I knew it!  The Crazy B

Reviewer: Cindi47 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 07 2015 02:00 am

Title: Blood and Tears

That crazy woman set that up, I just know it!

Reviewer: Cindi47 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 07 2015 01:52 am

Title: Don't Poke the Bear

Yessss

Reviewer: Cindi47 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 07 2015 01:23 am

Title: Epilogue

Thanks for the story! It was tragic, heartbreaking, and wonderful. 



Author's Response:

Thank you SO much for reading!

Reviewer: Annienathanson Anonymous [Report This]
Date: April 07 2015 12:22 am

Title: The Call

Awwwww, I hate that the kids are involed

 

 

Reviewer: Cindi47 Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: April 07 2015 12:03 am

Title: Epilogue

love love loooooved! thanks you for this beautiful, sad and drama filled story - thank you!



Author's Response:

Thank you for reading!

Reviewer: Yuukiyanagi Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 06 2015 08:03 am

Title: Epilogue

You are a great writer. I just wish you would give yourself the room to flesh out a story a little bit more. This version was better than the first because you started it from the beginning, instead of just starting it in the middle of nowhere. What I mean is, I understood Lynne better and her resentment towards Saul when you played all the events leading up to the divorce. I also would have liked to see the development between Lynne and Malcolm and the family. How did Saul adjust to it? How did Lynne get over the age difference? It's all these finer details that I feel are missing and could have made this bigger than it is.  As much as this was a good story, I feel like it can be better because somehow I know you are capable of being better. 

 

With that being said, I still enjoyed it and I look forward to your future writing :). 

 

All the best! 

 



Author's Response:

Thank you! I really appreciate that constructive criticism.  This is really my first time writing something that people outside of my friends and some family have read.  I agree the story needs fine tuning, I hope to do that.  Posting here FORCES me to write.  I have hopes of publishing some day and I have to exercise the muscle, y'know.

I appreciate you reading and taking the time to review and the encouragement. :-)

 

Reviewer: A_Girl_Called_T Signed starstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 06 2015 06:34 am

Title: Epilogue

So even though I really didn't like the idea of Saul cheating and the mistresses making her way back into their lives, I (am probably the only one) wanted the family to find their way back to each other. Even when Malcolm came into the picture, I was hoping that you would throw a curve ball and havve Malcolm be some kind of decoy that Alicia sent and that Saul was going to have to rescue her. That wasn't the case so I have to resign to this relationship and I am asking that maybe, just maybe Malcolm and Lynne might get a sequel??



Author's Response:

If Malcolm and Lynne start talking to me again, I'll definitely write a sequel.  Right now, they are on their honeymoon so there's been radio silence, LOL.  The only characters that are currently chattering away in my head are Lia and Dom from "Stars Colliding".  

Reviewer: Alixermixer Signed starstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: April 06 2015 04:55 am

Title: Epilogue

I just feel like there should be more...you gave us cake, but you have hidden the frosting. Maybe we can have more of this couple, if you do a story on Cam?  Please, pretty please with frosting on top?  Nevermind, I forgot you are hiding the frosting.  

Thank you for an intense, but sweet story. 



Author's Response:

Lol!  I'm not sure what "hiding the frosting" means, but I can tell you that if I do a Cammie story, there will be more about Lynne and Malcolm.  If those characters tell me that they have more to say, I'll definitely write about it.  I like stories that leave me wanting more.  That leave me imagining what happens next.  But I know that's not everyone's cup of tea. 

I thank you so much for reading the story, though!

 

Reviewer: Penelope Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 06 2015 02:50 am

Title: Epilogue

I just feel like there should be more...you gave us cake, but you have hidden the frosting. Maybe we can have more of this couple, if you do a story on Cam?  Please, pretty please with frosting on top?  Nevermind, I forgot you are hiding the frosting.  

Thank you for an intense, but sweet story. 

Reviewer: Penelope Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 06 2015 02:50 am

Title: Epilogue

A very good story

Reviewer: Bredreaway Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 06 2015 01:56 am

Title: Epilogue

Yassssss, complete and utter happiness for them. Malcolm even got Malichi to forgive SAS! Malcolm is definitely a keeper!!  Lynne is preggers, I am so happy. Wonderful story with fleshed out characters. Awesome sauce!!!,!

Reviewer: pmgayles Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 06 2015 01:03 am

Title: Epilogue

A part two maybe??!!??!?? loved this story



Author's Response:

I was thinking about a story focusing on Cameron, but I don't know yet.  I'm glad you like the story :-)

Reviewer: vmck Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 06 2015 12:28 am

Title: Don't Poke the Bear

Now that was awesome!!!!! That poor child musta bumped her head.....

Reviewer: vmck Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 05 2015 11:58 pm

Title: Epilogue

Perfect. 

Reviewer: Khamalani Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 05 2015 11:51 pm

Title: Epilogue

Well now, I see Lynne got her back blown out. ;)

I was wondering about children, since Malcolm didn't have any and sure he would want some with Lynne. What was the age difference? 10 years? Glad she could give him a bambino.

Enjoyed reading this.



Author's Response:

LOL!  Yeah, Malcolm worked it like a job and the rent was due. ;-)

I wasn't sure they would have kids at first, but Malcolm told me he wanted to be a dad, and Lynne was like "cool" so baby makes five, lol!  If Halle Berry can have a baby at darned near 50, so can Lynne.

Reviewer: BellaChica Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 05 2015 11:12 pm

Title: Epilogue

your amazing. and I love this version of the story. 



Author's Response:

Awww...THANK YOU!  I appreciate that so much!

Reviewer: cullensjonas Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 05 2015 10:46 pm

Title: The End is the Beginning

Please don't end! Noooooo

Reviewer: chatty504 Signed [Report This]
Date: April 05 2015 10:13 pm

Title: The End is the Beginning

That last bit was EVERYTHING! Especially this:

"she realized that her past was walking away from her as her future walked towards her"

Good update, Chica.



Author's Response:

Thanks!  I'm glad you liked it.

Reviewer: BellaChica Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 05 2015 08:44 pm

Title: The End is the Beginning

Very good



Author's Response:

Thank you!

Reviewer: Bredreaway Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: April 05 2015 08:05 pm

Title: The End is the Beginning

oooo i cant wait!

Reviewer: minxie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 05 2015 07:16 pm

Title: The End is the Beginning

Yes, Malcolm is in there!! SAS apologized and Lynne truly forgave him. Now Lynne is able to truly move onto a life of love and happiness with Malcolm. Yippee Skippy, Lynne now has a real man! Aliho is going to jail!! Looking forward to the epilogue. Thank you Jaye Sims and Happy Resurrection Day!



Author's Response:

My pleasure, Ms Gayles.  And I thank you so, so much for reading!  Happy Resurrection Day to you as well.

Reviewer: pmgayles Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 05 2015 06:46 pm

Title: Cause and Effect

girl u got me hooked!

Reviewer: minxie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 04 2015 08:52 pm



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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.