Reviews For Breathe (revised)
Title: Cause and Effect

girl u got me hooked!

Reviewer: minxie Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 04 2015 08:52 pm

Title: Cause and Effect

Thank for this wonderful story



Author's Response:

Thank you for reading!

Reviewer: Bredreaway Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: April 04 2015 05:30 pm

Title: Cause and Effect

Alicia is such a mess

Reviewer: chatty504 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 04 2015 04:14 pm

Title: Cause and Effect

The path the first version took was great. This version, I appreciate the backstory and details you have added but having it all aired out in front of the children doesn't make for good drama. It just makes me cringe and wish for the more dignified version of Lynne I thought we had before. I know affairs and divorce impacts the whole family but not this is a little much.



Author's Response:

I can appreciate your opinion, however I will say, as much as one might WANT to insulate their children from the drama that can come from divorce, the reality of it is that you can't always.  And keep in mind, Cameron is an adult and Malachi is approaching adulthood...neither of them are stupid.  It wouldn't have been long before they went SEEKING OUT the information they ended up being inadvertently made privvy to.  But again, you're absolutely entitled to your opinion and I appreciate it.

Now, one thing about your review that I DO take umbrage with is that this version of Lynne is less dignified.  This is the SAME LYNNE as the previous version.  She hasn't done anything in this version that would have been different from the last if I hadn't have lost that version, I was just able to flesh her about a bit more.  She remains as classy and as dignified as she's always been.

It's unfortunate that this version makes you cringe, remember however, that this is fiction and fiction isn't always pretty.

Thank you for reading, though.

 

Reviewer: SunnySideDown Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 04 2015 12:02 pm

Title: Cause and Effect

Aww man!! This was good but too short!! I'm glad you update frequently or else I'd be drinking some MalcolmX tea for my withdrawal!!! Lol! !😂😂😂



Author's Response:

LOL!

Reviewer: Khamalani Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 04 2015 11:58 am

Title: Cause and Effect

Hold up, wait a minute, dumbass Saul about to put his foot in it.  He sitting here thinking "may have, may have" been behind Lynne's attack, nah dude, she WAS behind Lynne's attack.  This isn't conjecture, the perp spilled the beans.  How many dudes would attack your ex-wife at her place of employment for how many years all of a sudden with no attempt at robbing or sexual aggression and know the name of your fuck buddy.  He need to wake up and smell the Folgers in his cup because this chick is crazy and at this point you have lost any chance of Lynne taking you back.  Maybe in 60 yrs when you both old and gray, and your little wiener can't get it up no more.  

I enjoyed Malcolm's character in these last two chapters because it reflected his maturity level and about focusing on whose the most important.  Lynne which should have been at the forefront of Saul's thoughts from the beginning and this wouldn't be happening because he would have never slept with said chick and gotten her hopes up.  

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 04 2015 07:28 am

Title: Cause and Effect

Saul "THE dumbest man on the planet" is a FOOL as well. Gah, he wanted to make this about him. Self-centered. I knew Mal was gonna blow his lid when they said it was Saul's trick. Yeah, Saul has a real chance of getting Lynne back. Just look, he brought flowers, yeah that would work, but for the fact that he's also brought that crazy git into Lynne's life.

"He rationalized that if he’d been there, if they’d still been married he could have prevented this."

Nah Son, if you'd kept little Saul in your pants, this would've been prevented, YOU FOOL.

I'm enjoying Lynne and Malcom's friendship. And yeah, if they do progress to something more, I say more power to her. She needs her back blown out. :D



Author's Response:

You made me choke on my coffee, woman!  LMAO.  Yes Lynne is long overdue for a good shagging.  I wonder if Malcolm is up for the task? ;-)



Author's Response:

You made me choke on my coffee, woman!  LMAO.  Yes Lynne is long overdue for a good shagging.  I wonder if Malcolm is up for the task? ;-)



Author's Response:

You made me choke on my coffee, woman!  LMAO.  Yes Lynne is long overdue for a good shagging.  I wonder if Malcolm is up for the task? ;-)



Author's Response:

You made me choke on my coffee, woman!  LMAO.  Yes Lynne is long overdue for a good shagging.  I wonder if Malcolm is up for the task? ;-)

Reviewer: BellaChica Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 04 2015 06:36 am

Title: His Betrayal

I really do feel bad for Saul its one thing to lose your family but then to have a crazy chick making things worse on top of everything has to be awful. People make some really bad mistakes but dang... He is defiantly paying for his mistakes and then some

Reviewer: Indigo_bluee Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 04 2015 05:24 am

Title: His Betrayal

I really do feel bad for Saul its one thing to lose your family but then to have a crazy chick making things worse on top of everything has to be awful. People make some really bad mistakes but dang !

Reviewer: Indigo_bluee Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 04 2015 05:23 am

Title: His Betrayal

I really do feel bad for Saul its one thing to lose your family but then to have a crazy chick making things worse on top of everything has to be awful. People make some really bad mistakes but dang !

Reviewer: Indigo_bluee Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 04 2015 05:23 am

Title: Cause and Effect

SAS, had the nerve to be jealous, !like he had the right. Malcolm is more of man than he will ever be. Malichi will never forgive him now, awesome. I can't stand SAS's punk ass!! Aliho is about to go down! I say good riddance!!



Author's Response:

LOL...you are killing me with 'SAS'.

Reviewer: pmgayles Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 04 2015 04:56 am

Title: Blood and Tears

I want a Malcolm. Taking Applications. lol j/k

In a relationship I can work through anything but cheating. That's a no-no, especially with all these diseases floating around. eww, my skin crawls with the thought of it.



Author's Response:

He really is a sweetheart.

Reviewer: jlly16 Signed [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 10:48 pm

Title: Blood and Tears

So, what you wanna bet that Herpes chick of Saul's had something to do with this. There goes any sympathy I might've dug up for the cheater. Saul, this is all on you.

And that trick is so delusional, she might just let Saul know that she did it for them to be together. Which is stoopid, 'cause FELICIA, Lynne already DIVORCED his ass and if he wanted to be with you, he WOULD. What is your occupation again, you braintrust?

Well now, Malcolm seems to have real feelings for Lynne. I like it. The kids have met him and he's a hero for saving their Mom. Should be interesting what their reactions will be when they realize that Malcolm really likes Lynne.

Reviewer: BellaChica Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 11:21 am

Title: The Age of the Cougar?

Lynne, what you've hopefully gotten yourself into is Malcolm!

As for Saul, would feel sorry for him, but since he brought this on himself, I just can't find that sympathy chip. hee

On to the next chapter.

Reviewer: BellaChica Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 11:12 am

Title: Blood and Tears

i smell a BIG STINKIN RAT named Alicia...!  i'm sure she had something to do with this...!!

 

thank God for Malcolm! Another great update - thank you!

Reviewer: Yuukiyanagi Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 08:11 am

Title: Blood and Tears

Malcolm saved Lynne and the kids will readily accept him in their mom's life.  I hope Saul don't try to weasel his way back in.

 I wish Angela and Malcolm would pay a visit to the assailant--he has to be handcuffed somewhere in that hospital.   

Poor Lynne...can Malcolm help nurse her back to health?

Reviewer: Penelope Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 05:19 am

Title: Blood and Tears

Wow, I didn't see that coming...good chspter

Reviewer: jahchannah Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 04:17 am

Title: Blood and Tears

betcha that bish ass Alicia had something to do with this.  Even more reason why Saul will feel guilty as hell for bringing this cray cray chick into Lynne and his kids life.  If he would have kept his little penis in his pants versus trying to get it inside a chick, this would not be happening but ya know what, God always has a plan and this happened for a reason.

 

Reviewer: lajack1 Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 03:17 am

Title: Blood and Tears

Aliho hired that man to kill Lynne and I hope he sqeals!  Aliho needs a beat down of epic proportions. C-I-L-L Aliho!!!! Team Malcolm!!!  Damn that SAS (Sorry Ass Saul) beat his ass too!.  



Author's Response:

:-)

Reviewer: pmgayles Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 03:06 am

Title: Blood and Tears

That Malcolm is a keeper! I'm certain that Saul's bitch had something to do with Lynne almost dying. Saul does not deserve Lynn after getting involved with that crazy woman, of all the women he had to choose the craycray one? That says a lot about him.

Reviewer: katt Anonymous starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 02:58 am

Title: Blood and Tears

That crazy bitch did this.  When is going to get her come upings? 



Author's Response:

Ding ding ding! She is going to be getting hers...soon.

Reviewer: Khamalani Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 02:54 am

Title: Blood and Tears

Wonderful



Author's Response:

Thank you!

Reviewer: Bredreaway Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 02:13 am

Title: The Age of the Cougar?

enjoyable chapter

Reviewer: Bredreaway Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 02:10 am

Title: Getting to Know You

love the interaction between the two.

Reviewer: Bredreaway Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 03 2015 01:56 am

Title: The Age of the Cougar?

Lynne extended the invitation for dinner with her children. That is big!  SAS is falling apart, aww poor baby! Not that I really care about his punk ass but I really want him to see Lynne happy and in love. Karmarific!!! 

Reviewer: pmgayles Signed starstarstarstarstar [Report This]
Date: April 02 2015 04:45 pm



Enter the security code shown below:
Note: You may submit either a rating or a review or both.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.