She sat at the desk staring into the black space of her coffee cup.

"Hey Cathy, you like what you see?" Joe Garrelli said, the janitor who always seemed to be around, said

"Shut up Joe." She snapped.

"Okay sorry!" he said with a frown she'd been like this all day. He shrugged it off and walked away.

Catherine duke ran her fingers through her now shoulder length hair. She let out a shaky sigh and continued to stare into the black liquid.

One of the best reporters there, Catherine was always on top of her game. But not today.

"Catherine."

She jumped hearing her name banging her knee against the desk and cutting it. This set off the fire of emotions she was trying to smolder inside of her. She burst into tears dropping her hand into her hands.

"Whoa! Catherine, I'm sorry. Calm, its okay it's a small cut." Dave said.

She stood up and went into the break room grabbing the first aid kit. She pulled off her stockings and cleaned herself up. Her life was so good and now the year of hell had finally come and the devil; at least her devil, was free.

He was out and there was no way she could hide from him. Her voice was all over New York! He could find her and he would find her, she knew him too well.

‘I'll be back.' the words haunted her for eighteen years. Ever since she was sixteen. She felt sick. Dave walked in.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"I'm okay there is just a lot on my mind right now. I just want to go home. Is that okay Dave?" she asked softly.

"Yes of course Catherine go ahead. Take all the time you need." He said.

 She stood and gave an unconvincing smile walking out. She packed her stuff away and left. She went into the parking deck digging for her keys. She didn't see the figure approaching her from behind.

A hand grabbed her shoulder. She spun screaming and throwing a wild punch. The hand caught her wrist and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Catherine! It's just me, Joe!" he said.

She looked up at him, took a step forward, and collapsed to the floor. He grabbed her before she hit the floor.

"Cathy, wake up for me! Catherine!" he yelled tapping her face. His heart raced he didn't know what could've been wrong with her but he cared about her way too much to lose her.

She wasn't responding, so he just picked her up and put her into his car and rushed her to the hospital.

That's where they were now. Everyone was in the waiting room scared to death but he refused to leave her side. He sat at the side of the bed holding her hand. The doctors had taken off her makeup but she was still beautiful. She had two small scars on her face one on her chin and one under her eyebrow. He wondered what from.

Her hand moved.

"Cathy?" he said standing.

Everything next happened in a flash. Her eyes opened and then she began to shake violently. He ran to the door and yelled frantically for the doctor. His heart froze as he heard the heart monitor stop the continuous beeping and turn into one long beep.

The doctors ran into the room ripping open the gown. He stood shocked as he saw all the scars running down her torso.

"Sir you have to go. She will be okay. I'll make sure of it." One of the nurses said as she pushed him out of the room.

He went to the waiting room.

"What happened?" Lisa asked.

"Her heart it just stopped and they are trying to revive her." He said sitting in shock.

They prayed and sat waiting. Soon, the doctor walked out.

"I'm looking for Joe Garrelli." Joe stood.

"Your name's Garrelli?" Bill asked.

"I'm Joe. Is she okay?"

"We were able to revive her. She won't go to sleep until she sees you." He followed the doctor into the room. She was sitting up. She looked exhausted.

"Hey Cathy. You okay?"

"No, from what I've heard I just died for a few minutes. But of course, you already knew that. She said.

He chuckled.

"Even after all this you're still same old Catherine." He said.

"Never gonna change dying or not."

He sat and grabbed her hand staring into her tilt tipped brown eyes. She stared back for a moment and then smiled.

"No Catherine no smiling. You had me so afraid I thought I lost you." He said.

"It wouldn't be so bad I know you get tired of me always hitting you."

"No I deserve it most of the time. But sometimes I want you to hit me harder and harder and harder!" he yelled turning his head in mock ecstasy.

"Joe, stop it before they hear you out there!" she said with a laugh.

He hugged her to him. She was small in reality and he was muscular and probably crushing her but he didn't care, he just wanted her, needed her close to him.

"I was so scared." He said.

"I'm here." She said.

"Okay, you get some rest. I'll be right here." He said.

She smiled back and closed her eyes.

He'd wondered how they had gotten this close.

Wondered why he loved her like he did.

Wondered why it seemed as though she wanted to love him back but couldn't.

He got up and went into the waiting room.

"She's alright you guys. But she's exhausted so come back tomorrow. She'll be a lot better." He said.

They got up to leave and he watched as some police officers and detectives walk into Catherine's room.

When he heard her scream he ran in but was grabbed.

"No let him in." she said.

He was let go and he rushed to her side.

"What's wrong?"

"Someone burned down my house. They couldn't save anything not even my dog." She said.

Tears seeped through her closed eyelids and slid down her cheeks.

"Ms. Duke someone also burned the message ‘I'm back,' into the lawn. Do you have any idea what that could mean?" the detective asked.

Her heart froze.

"No. I just want to sleep." She said.

"Okay you get some sleep if you can and we will notify you every time we get a lead. Do you have a place to stay?"

Joe stepped forward.

"Yes she does. You guys need to go that's enough questions." He said.

They detectives nodded and left. Tears rolled down her face. He fought the urge to kiss them away. Instead in he pulled her into his chest as she broke down in sobs.

He'd never seen Catherine cry before; he doubted anyone had. But her pitiful and broken sobs made his heart clench and he wanted to cry for her.

"It's okay. You got me. I'm here." He said rubbing her back with soothing circles. He sat on the bed and pulled her into his chest.

"I'm right here Cathy. I'm right here." He said stroking her soft hair.

"When did you become a gentleman?" she said with a chuckle wiping her tears.

"Ever since you collapsed in front of me. I'm not that bad!" he said making her laugh.

"Right." She said closing her eyes and drifting off.

Two weeks later, she was discharged.

"Joe can you take me to my house?"

It wasn't a house, more like a lot full of burnt rubble, and like the detective said, the message ‘I'm back,' was burned into the lawn.

Yes, the year of hell had finally come and the devil had come to make her pay.

She walked out of the kitchen with two bottles of soda and a big bowl of popcorn. She wondered what movie they watching tonight. Friday movie night had become a weekly ritual for them

Originally Joe had planned it to cheer her up but eventually they began to do it at the end of the week. A way to unwind from work, and this life of hers that was becoming even more stressful by the second.

Joe walked downstairs in pajama bottoms. She mentally screamed at herself to stop staring at his chest.

But it was kinda hard not to. You see, Joe was the epitome of muscular. Not bodybuilder muscular, but that hunky muscular you see on football players. Let's face it, Joe was hot, sexy, fine, forget it he was so good looking he could revert a woman to talking to baby talk. Dude was Gabba Gabba.

She tore her eyes off him. She swore he did stuff like that on purpose because he knew it got to her even though she refused to admit it.

‘You know you like him. Love him even.' Her subconscious said

‘Don't say that.' She argued.

‘Why not? You know it's true.'

‘He's a coworker, and I'm staying with him temporarily it'll complicate things so no.'

‘If you say so.'

She groaned aloud at the mental argument she was having with herself.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm? Nothing. What movie are we watching?" she asked handing him his bottle of coke.

"I have decided on comedy tonight, so I picked an oldie. CB4." He said.

"That aint old it's only like three years old." She said.

"It aint new so therefore it's old." He said poking her side, to which she slapped him.

He put the movie in and grabbed the popcorn.

"Damn Khandi Alexander is sexy. You know, you two look just alike." He said.

"Everybody says that. I don't think so, I look way better and what kinda name is Khandi anyway?" she said.

"A sexy one. Don't hate her cuz she's beautiful." He said.

"Where'd you get that from a song?"

"No but it should be one." He said.

"Well whatever I still don't look like her." She said.

"Shhh your ruining the movie with your excessive talking." He was met with another slap.

"You know one of these days I'm gonna hit you back."

"I'd like to see you try." She said sticking out her tongue and sat back.

"Oh my G-d, Chris Rock is so funny! And Khandi is cool too I guess." She said.

"Yeah and she still looks like you." He said.

"No she doesn't!" she said flicking his ear and putting the dishes in the sink.

He watched through the window. He'd finally found her. She'd definitely changed since he'd last been with her. Her body was curved in all the right places and he rose looking at her. He rubbed his growing erection the thought of her skin on his.

"Soon, soon." He whispered. But that didn't stop him from watching.

"Okay! Well, good night and I will see you tomorrow morning. G'night Joe." She said smiling and walking up the steps. Joe watched as her hips swayed up the stairs unaware that someone else was watching too. He turned around and watched TV and then when it hit about one o clock he got up tidying up before he went to bed. He didn't see the man creeping behind him until it was too late. His world went black.

He woke up in a dark room on a bed. He felt her still form next to him. He touched and found a pulse a pulse.

"Cathy? Catherine, wake up." He said shaking her.

"I'm up. Stop shaking me. He cut me right there." She said her voice laced with pain.

"Well, well, well, it looks like my little prisoners are up. Hello Candy, how've things been going for you? Oh, I know. You're on the radio now. Doing it big. I wonder does anyone know about your past? About your beloved Uncle Jay? Remember what we used to do?"  A man who was the color of cinnamon said walking and standing over them.

He turned the light on and the room was like an interrogation room with a window that you could look into the room with.

Joe felt shivers and saw that Catherine crying.

"This is your uncle?" he asked.

She cringed in response.

"Candy, I've missed you. 18 years is a really long time without your nice little body in my arms. I promise I'm not mad at you for telling. You were only sixteen, you didn't know any better. You filled out so nicely. I can't wait to be in you again. You were so sweet. My sweet little piece of Candy." He said.

She was shaking violently now.

"What do you want from me? Why? Just let us go and leave me alone." She yelled.

"I just want you love." He said caressing her cheek.

"Don't touch her! Don't you dare touch her!" Joe said pulling Catherine to him

"This your little boyfriend Candy? Dealing with vanilla now are we? I understand, vanillas are the best in the sack. They kept me busy while I away for all those years. I thought about you the whole time; your sweet tightness around me. Won't be long before I'm back." He said.

"Jay she need stitches. You cut her deep." Joe said looking at the new wound trying not focus on the old ones lacing her torso.

"Okay mister doctor. I'll be back Candy." Jay said walking away.

"Oh my god Catherine." Joe said turning towards her.

"He's raped me since I was twelve. My parents died when I was eight and he took me in. He was crazy, cutting me all the time, touching me. He called them experiments and that I couldn't tell because it was normal for family to do this to each other. I was only eight, I didn't know any better; I just knew I didn't like it. As I got older I found out it was called molestation and I was going to tell and he raped me and he told me that I was gonna go to foster care and worse stuff would happen to me. So I didn't tell. He didn't even go to jail for raping me he went for a bank robbery. But I was free I didn't care. I told them and they added on years. Foster care wasn't even bad." She said.

Jay walked down the steps and threw Joe stuff.

Joe lifted her shirt and poured the iodine on without warning and then numbed it with something. He stitched her up with care and bandaged her tiny torso.

"Now we can get started." Jay said walking towards them.

Joe hopped up in front of her.

"Her stitches have to heal or they'll pop." He said.

"Oh okay. Don't want my little Candy hurt." Jay said walking up the steps and turning off the light.

"Where'd you learn to do that?" she asked.

"My mother was a nurse. She taught me how to do that when I in high school." He said.

"Wow." She said

He pulled her close to him.

"I'm sorry Joe. This is all my fault. You shouldn't be a part of this." She said.

"No it's not your fault. If I wasn't here who knows what he'd be doing to you right now. I'm like your guardian angel." He said.

She chuckled.

"If that's what you want to call it." She said.

"Catherine look at me. He's not going to touch I promise. Okay?"

She nodded her head in understanding before laying it on his chest and they drifted off to sleep.

Joe had no idea how long they been there but every day, jay came to see if she was healed.

"She won't be healed for another week." Was always the reply. It worked for a while. She was healed but Joe was trying to keep jay away from Catherine as long possible.

Jay crept down the steps. He knew they were asleep maybe he could get to her while Joe was asleep. He couldn't wait anymore. He grabbed her and she woke almost immediately.

"Joe!" she screamed.

Joe woke up and grabbed her pulling her back to him.

"No I can't fucking wait anymore!" jay creamed.

"Jay you don't need another rape charge the list is long enough." Joe said saying the first thing that came to his head. Maybe he could talk jay into letting him go.

"You're right. Okay." Jay said.

That was easier than he thought. He heard Catherine sigh with relief.

"I want you to do it. And fuck her nice Joe." Jay said freezing Joe in his tracks.

Definitely not what he expected.

"Me? Why me?"

"Because I still need pleasure. Then you'll understand why I fucked her."

"But I-."

"Joe. It's okay. Just, let's get it over with okay?" Catherine said.

"But Cathy I-."

"Joe please before he changes his mind. Please!" she said.

"3...2...-."

"Joe!"

"Okay! I'll do it! I'm sorry Catherine." He said.

She quietly undressed and jay went and sat behind the window. Joe quickly undressed and climbed on top of her.

"I'm so sorry Catherine. I didn't think it would be this way." He said.

She kissed him softly on lips.

"I'd rather it be you than him." She said.

He positioned himself and slowly entered. She gasped at his size. He pumped in and out of her gently.

He was finally making love to the woman he'd been in love with since he met her and it was because he was being forced to.  Because her sadistic uncle was obsessed with her.

The pleasure intensified and her nails dug into his back.

"I, I love you Catherine." He whispered.

"I love you too. Joseph!" she moaned. He grabbed her waist and pounded into her.

"Mmph!" she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist.

His strokes became hard and erratic and he grabbed her hands putting them above their heads kissing her passionately. They came together in that moment. He collapsed pulling her to him their sweat slicked bodies sticking together.

"That was great! Now Candy on top! Right now!" jay flinched.

Catherine flinched and straddled him and slid down on him. Joe groaned grabbing her hips as she set a pace. Soon she was riding him faster. He sat up and pulled a nipple into his mouth her walls clenched and she threw her head back moaning loud and long. She came and he pounded into her spilling his seed in her.

He shuddered pulling her close. Their breathing settled and he looked her in the eye. She seemed as if she was shy.

He leaned in to kiss but she turned her head and climbed off him laying down and facing the wall.

Jay was done and going upstairs so Joe laid down. He wondered what was wrong with Catherine.

Catherine's mind was reeling. It wasn't supposed to be real. She was supposed to act and fake it. Not say I love you. She hoped Joe didn't think that this meant they would date after this. She couldn't let him love her.

More time passed by.

"Jay please can we just go. We've been here a while. How long do you think you'll be able to hide us? The police are gonna find your trail. Plus Catherine's sick she's been throwing up almost every day." He said.

"No you will leave when I say you can. I'll kill you if I have to. You're staying."

"You're a fucking creep. You raped your niece from the time she was eight years old and when she finally gets away you kidnap her. You are a fucking perverted pedophile piece of trash!" Joe yelled.

"I am not those things. She and I were supposed to be together. When she smiled at me when she was born I knew. That's why I killed them. They wouldn't understand. But I needed to get to her and they were in my way." Jay yelled.

Catherine stood.

"You killed my parents!"

"Yep brake line just like that. Don't you see Candy? I love you." He said.

She screamed in rage and punched him in the face. Joe took that opportunity to kick his kneecap in. They heard a loud crack and took that chance to run. They ran up the steps and Joe kicked the door down. He grabbed her and they ran out the front door realizing they were downtown. They ran to the WNYX building and went in.

 he sat her in the chair. She looked she was going to be sick so he put the trashcan in front of her and she was sick before he even walked away.

He bent down in front of her caressing her face.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. Joe don't worry." She said with a smile.

He got her water from the kitchen, just as Dave walked in.

"Catherine! Oh my gosh! Who did this to you? I'm calling 911." He said.

Joe walked out the kitchen handing her the water.

"We made it out Catherine. We made it, we are safe now." He said as the paramedics rushed over to them.

Positive.

Pregnant.

With Joe's baby.

Another wave of nausea overcame her as she vomited into the toilet again. She groaned holding her stomach.

"Catherine?" she heard.

Lisa.

"Are you okay?"

"No." she whispered.

"Can I come in?" Lisa gently asked.

She opened the stall door. Lisa looked down with sympathy.

She knew the trial, even though short, was very stressful on both Catherine and Joe. Luckily the bastard was convicted like a snap to death.

"Catherine, what's wrong? What happened sweetheart?" Lisa said sitting on the floor with her.

Of all the years working with Catherine, she was never able to just sit down and talk with her. This situation that happened had brought them all closer. Though Catherine and Joe were kind of awkward around each other. She couldn't blame them though; she couldn't imagine what it was like to live with one another after all this let alone work.

Catherine couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her face.

"I'm pregnant." She said.

"He raped you?"

"No. its Joe's. I don't know what to do. I love him but-."

"You love Joe?"

"Yes and I'm scared to death because of it. I don't know how he will take this. It's so unexpected and I don't want him to feel obligated. I'm not sure if I even want to keep the baby given the situation." She said.

"I'm sure he won't feel like that. Joe is crazy about you and you know that. We all know that. He has been for years. If you don't want to keep the baby, it's your choice but he deserves to know." Lisa said.

"He hasn't talked to me since the trial started. He might not be ready. I'll figure it out." Catherine said shaking her head.

"How will you hide it? You're almost five months."

"I know but I'm skinny so it'll be easy to hide until I'm about six months along. I will figure it out Lisa just don't say anything okay? Please?" Catherine hated pleading, but she knew that was only way to get Lisa to agree to something.

"Okay Catherine."

Catherine stood rinsing her mouth out and fixing herself. She walked out and into the booth.

Lisa shook her head and walked out.

The headache pounded in her head.

"Catherine, can we talk?" Joe said pulling her to the side. Everyone else had gone out to lunch and it was just the two of them.

"Really you're talking to me? What about?" she said with a sarcastic smirk.

"About us?" he said.

"God Joe lets just not. Okay. It happened and we know what happened. No need to discuss it." She said avoiding his piercing gaze.

She could feel those dark eyes on her.

‘Tell him.'

"Catherine. We had sex. You can't ignore that." He said.

"Forced sex it doesn't count." She said.

‘What are you doing? Tell him.'

"Well you surely did say I love you."

"I knew it would make Jay satisfied. You say those kinds of things." She said inwardly cringing at the coldness of her voice.

"You really mean that?" he asked.

"Yes Joe. Please stop talking about it. I don't feel well." She said.

The room was starting to spin. She took a step forward and went down. He caught her before she fell.

"Catherine?"

Her eyes opened and he sat her up slowly.

"I'm fine." She said.

"You just collapsed and you wanna convince me your fine?"

"I didn't eat all day. I just need to eat" she said trying to stand. She wobbled and sat back down.

"See, its okay to let people do stuff for you geez Catherine. I'll be right back."

"Why didn't you tell him Catherine!" she said aloud to herself.

"Here Cathy." He said handing her a cup of ramen.

"Thank you Joe." She said standing and satisfied that she didn't wobble, walked away.

The days went by and were filled with her doctor, pamphlets from Planned Parenthood, and long nights of decision making.

 She finally made her decision. She walked into the building. They took her name. She went to the room, changed into the paper gown and laid back on the table.

She went back to work a few days later. Even though she lived with him Joe didn't suspect a thing. She just pretended she was sick. The acting classes in college worked wonders.

"Catherine." Lisa said walking up to her.

"No, I'm not talking about it." She said.

"Tell him about the baby Catherine or I will!" Lisa said.

"What baby?"

Catherine felt like breaking down in tears when she heard his voice. It was all going to crash down on her. She couldn't breathe.

"Joe, it wasn't yours. Jay he raped me once before he took us. There's no baby. I- I got rid of it. So no worries. It doesn't matter." She said.

"What if it was mine? How could you not tell me? What the fuck Catherine?" he yelled.

"I wouldn't want a baby in those circumstances anyway! It doesn't matter. Even if I kept it, it wasn't like we'd magically get over this! If it was yours or his, it doesn't matter." She yelled back.

He stood there shocked and then walked away punching a hole in the wall.

She felt sick. Tears streamed out her eyes so fast she couldn't even see. She blindly ran into the bathroom and vomited into the toilet sobbing.

"Why didn't you just tell him? You love him. You know you do." She said aloud.

"You're scared Cathy."

"Jimmy? You're in the women's." she said.

"I know. Joe is barricaded in the men's. Come here sweetheart." He said.

She went straight into his arms and sighed in comfort as he engulfed her in a hug.

"You kept that baby didn't you?" he asked.

She nodded. She couldn't lie to Jimmy. He reminded her of her father and she knew she could always put her trust in him.

"Why can't you tell him?"

"I'm just scared. Look at what getting involved with me did to him and I was just staying with him. Jimmy I'm damaged goods I don't want him to get hurt. But I love him so much it just hurts so badly. Jimmy I don't know what to do." She sobbed into his chest.

He held her tightly and stroked her back.

"It'll be alright. Things will work out in time okay?" he said.

She nodded not bringing her head out of his chest. Jimmy was the closest person to her and she was always able to go to him.

"Go home and rest sweetheart okay. Just rest." He said. Giving her a reassuring squeeze.

"You're not mad at me?" she said sounding like a small child.

"no. it's your choice." He said lifting her face to look at him. He kissed the tip of her nose and wiped her tears.

"Go home Kitty." He said.

She smiled faintly at his nickname and cleaned herself up. She stayed home for about three days and went back. She was surprised Joe hadn't kicked her out. He wasn't speaking to her but that wasn't anything new.

It just hurt to know that it was on a whole nother level. She looked at her stomach in the mirror. Her belly was slightly bloated. Like she had eaten too much. Nothing her clothes couldn't handle.

Joe was in the kitchen when she went downstairs. She fixed herself a cup of decaf coffee and stood by the sink until she was finished. She walked out and put on her shoes checking her hair and makeup in the mirror. When she grabbed her purse, the strap broke and the contents spilled out all over the floor

"Damn it!" she said bending over and picking up the stuff.

She jumped and sat shocked as Joe came and helped her pick it up before snapping back to reality and finishing the cleaning of the mess on the floor.

He handed the items to her and when their fingers brushed a shock went through her. She sat staring at him eyes wide with shock.

"Uhm thanks." She said.

"Catherine I-."

"Uhm I should really get going. I don't want to be late." She said running out the door.

Joe watched her go and placed his head in his hands.

Her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hi yes, Ms. Catherine Duke please?"

"Speaking."

"Hello ms Duke this is Jerry Hitchenfield from WZIP in London England. I have a job offer for you."

"Wow, uhm. What?"

"We understand that you are amazing at your job and we would love for you to come here and work for us. I know this is a big decision to make so you can think about it and call me later."

"Yeah," she thought of Joe, "You know what? I'll take it."

"You will?"

"Yes I'll take it."

"Okay you're ticket is already paid for and when you get here we will go over everything." He said.

"Okay thank you so much."

"You're very welcome."

She hung up the phone slightly giddy.

"Dave would it be okay if I called a staff meeting?"

"Yeah sure Catherine."

Everyone gathered at the table.

"Uhm I just wanted to let you guys know that today is my last day here at WNYX. I got a job offer from London WZIP and I took it. I just need a new environment so I hope you all understand." She said and walked away avoiding Joe's questioning gaze.

She got in her car and went to pack up her clothes. She wasn't surprised when she heard him come through the door.

He walked into her room.

"Why?"

"Why not?" she shrugged.

He walked up to her.

"You're really doing this?"

"Why do you care? We haven't talked in a month. The only reason why I'm here is because I had nowhere else to go. Now I do so I can be out of your hair." She said.

"Catherine! I don't want you to leave. I was just mad that you didn't at least tell me." He said.

"Well I already made the decision Joe. Can't change that. It's going to be okay." She was having a hard time convincing herself.

He pushed her against the wall.

"No it is not going to be okay. I am madly in love with you Catherine and this will kill me if you go." He said.

They stared intently at each other until she broke the hold.

"I can't do this right now Joe. I already said yes. They paid for my ticket and I leave at eight o clock."

He covered her mouth with his. Her hands immediately went around his head and he picked her up pressing her into the wall. They kissed with passion and her hands went to his belt buckle. Soon he was inside of her.

"Please don't go Catherine." He said kissing her neck.

"Don't talk about it just feel Joe please?" She said.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you." She said tears falling.

He kissed her as they came together and then slowly let her down. She hurriedly ran to the bathroom and got into the shower cleaning herself up.

"Catherine."

"I'm going Joe."

"After that?"

"It was sex Joe."

"You said I love you."

"You say that kinda stuff-."

"Don't you dare say that bullshit. You love me and you know you do! Damn it Catherine we can get through this! Just stay."

"Maybe but I don't want to take that chance. Joe you don't want a girl like me. Trust me. You deserve better."

"Catherine."

"Joe please. I'm so sorry but I just can't." She said.

She walked out the house and went to jimmy.

He sat and held her as she cried her eyes out and then drove her to the airport.

She waved goodbye to him as she walked through the scanners.

It was time to forget.

 "Are you sure? Oh my gosh okay thank you." Catherine said hanging up her phone.

"What's wrong love?"

"One of my friends died." She said.

She felt his arms wrap around her from behind.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah I'm okay. The funeral and wake are Friday and Saturday. Wow. Bill." She said sadly.

Dylan sat back down on the couch holding her five month old baby girl, Naila. She looked up and smiled a toothless slobbery grin melting Catherine's heart.

"Man, she's gonna be a heartbreaker. Are you going to go back?"

"Yeah, of course it wouldn't be right if I didn't."

She thought of seeing Joe again. He probably hated her guts right now and she couldn't blame him. She didn't think she would be back ever and now ten months later she was going back.

But still it was a good thing to do. Joe, no matter what he said, couldn't be with her. He was way too good for that. She didn't deserve to be loved. Naila didn't even deserve her as a mother. She was dirty and a horrible person.

"Babe, stop thinking like that. You are wonderful. Don't let what happened to you make you think you don't deserve love. You never told him did you?" Dylan asked reading her mind.

She never understood how he could do that.

Dylan Fletcher was her best friend. Three months after she came he noticed her growing belly; he also knew she came alone. They sat and talked and she explained to him what happened and he had been there ever since. Even there for Naila's difficult birth. Naila had definitely gotten Joe's head and it was hard on Catherine's small dancer body.

"Catherine how do you think he will react?"

"What do you think? He thought I aborted her. God I am an asshole."

"No you were just scared and you were thinking like you had been for the past eighteen years. Your uncle made you think that you were unworthy to be loved. You started to believe that. You were scared love, you do things like that. They can be irrational but I don't blame you. You went through a lot." He said.

"Why are you so good to me?" she said.

"Because I love you." He said tickling Naila's chin.

The baby girl giggled and laughed oblivious to the fact that her mother was so conflicted.

Catherine grabbed her and sat on Dylan's lap leaning her head on his chest. Naila was the perfect mixture of her and Joe. Dark curly brown hair, big brown eyes, and his cute nose, Catherine's lips and dimpled chin. Naila Ahnmarie Garrelli. She gave her his last name; she didn't know why. It just didn't feel right putting Duke on the end she guessed.

"Dylan come with me?" she asked.

"That's asking a lot." He said kissing her temple.

She wondered if Naila would have and English accent, or maybe a New York accent. Who knew?

"Dylan I cannot do that by myself. I need you." She said.

"Bloody hell, if Naila is anything like you, she'll get whatever she wants from me. I'll come damnit." He said rolling his eyes.

She grinned and pecked his lips. "Thank you Baby." She said.

She rocked Naila to sleep and put her in her crib.

"Well Naila, you're going to meet your daddy real soon." She said.

And she wasn't sure how she felt about that.

The morning of the flight she threw up three times. She frantically went through Naila's stuff making sure she had everything. Checking and rechecking until Dylan slapped her and sat her on the couch. She was so nervous about this whole thing. She barely slept the night before. She watched Dylan tend to Naila like he had been doing for the past five months. Naila was so used to him being around sometimes she wouldn't calm down until he held her.

When she had colic, Dylan's phone blew up. Teething, it was Dylan who got her to stop crying. He just had that gentle nature. That was why Catherine loved him.

They packed up the taxi and drove to the airport. Her fingernails were down to the nub by the time they got on the plane. She couldn't stop tapping her foot. What would Joe say? She had to tell him. And she would especially if Dylan was next to her. He always seemed to boost her confidence when it came to this situation.

"Cathy sweetheart it's okay. If he is mad then damn him to bloody hell, but don't let Naila see your beautiful face all messed up. We don't need childhood trauma therapy sessions in the future." He said.

"I look that bad?" she said.

"No you look quite adorable. I just wanted to make you laugh."

"Well your sense of humor is way off." She said with a chuckle.

"But you're still laughing."

He could always make her laugh.

The plane landed and they stepped into the airport seeing Jimmy and Dave waiting for them.

Her face broke out into a big grin as she handed Dylan Naila and ran jumping on Jimmy.

She saw Dave's eyes widen taking in Dylan and the baby.

"This is Dylan. Dylan this is Jimmy and my friend and old boss Dave." She said hugging Dave as well.

"Is this her?" jimmy asked.

"No this is just some random baby I kidnapped." Catherine said.

"Her name?"

"Naila Ahnmarie."

"She's beautiful Cathy."

"Well you do see her mother don't you?" Dylan said.

"Shut up Dylan." She said hitting his shoulder with a grin.

He handed her Naila and they went to get the bags.

They got to Jimmy's house where he insisted they stay and Jimmy gave Catherine a set of keys.

"Can I hold her?"

"Of course Jimmy." Catherine said handing him Naila.

Naila giggled and cooed as soon as she was put into his arms.

"Wow you did good Cathy."

"Thanks. I don't know how I would've done it without Dylan though. He's the one who's been there for me since the beginning. She loves her some Dylan. She only likes me for my body." Catherine said pointing to her breasts.

Jimmy chuckled.

He played with Naila until she began to whine.

"She's hungry. Told you she only wants me for my body." Catherine said going to the back.

"Are you and Catherine dating?" jimmy asked.

"Uhm you should ask her about it." Dylan said getting uncomfortable.

God, he had to stop letting Catherine's sad face get to him. This was uncomfortable.

They sat in an awkward silence until Catherine came back.

"She's asleep but she sleep light so be quiet." She said sitting on the couch.

"Catherine are you prepared for this?"

"I think so. I know I have to tell him. I realized I should have told him no matter how scared I was. But I was so scared Jimmy. I knew he was going to reject me. I had myself convinced. I think I am insane."

"No you're just traumatized baby girl." He said pulling her into his arms.

"Well let's see if anyone else can understand." She said.

She'd never been in a room where she felt so much love surrounding her. She fell asleep right in Jimmy's arms.

The day of the wake meant vomiting and fidgeting for Catherine.

She felt everyone's eyes on her as she walked in with the car seat and Dylan. But she was more focused on one pair of brown ones.

Joe sat shocked as Catherine walked in with a handsome man and a baby.

She couldn't have moved on that quick. It hadn't even been a year yet and she had a baby?

He watched her sit down. She was crying and wiping her eyes. They listened to everyone talk about Bill and how funny he was.

He went over to her.

"Hey Catherine."

Her eyes widened.

"Joe. Hi. How've you been?"

"Good. You?"

"Okay. This is Dylan."

"Nice to meet you." Dylan said standing and shaking Joe's hand.

"Same."

Naila decided that she would cry at that moment.

"Naila. Really?" Dylan said grabbing her and taking her away.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

She took a deep breath in.

"Yes. But come to the car okay?" she said.

They walked past Dylan who was coming out of the bathroom with Naila.

"Dylan I will be back if she gets restless just bring her out to the car okay." She said.

"Okay love. But you know she won't."

"Yeah I know."

They went to the car and got in.

"So is that your h-."

"No. Dylan is my best friend."

"But you guys seem really close."

"Joe, he's gay. He's my best friend." She said.

"Oh wow. So what about the baby?"

"She'syours." She said it so fast it took him a few seconds to catch on.

"Catherine what?" and then it dawned on him.

"What the fuck?"

"Just say everything. I'm not going to argue because I already know I fucked up."

"All I'm gonna say is why?"

"I was scared. I had it implanted in my mind that you were going to reject and leave me. It's happened so much before I guess I just thought that way about everybody. Dylan helped me realize that. I'm in therapy for it. I never went because I didn't like talking about it. I sound crazy." She said.

"Catherine I begged you to stay! Why the hell would you think that?"

"I don't know Joe! I really can't explain it."

"Well you told me you aborted her. I thought you aborted my child! Do you know what that did to me?"

"I knew you wouldn't let me leave if I told you." She said. She refused to look at him.

"So Lisa knew?"

"Yeah. By accident."

"Who else knew?"

"Jimmy. He knew I didn't abort her either."

"What the fuck Catherine! I'm so upset. How could you even sleep knowing you lied like this?"

"That's the point, I didn't." she said.

"I want to ugh! I don't know what I want to do to you. I am disgusted Catherine!" he screamed.

She whimpered and got out of the car. Joe followed after her and went straight to Jimmy punching him in the face.

"How could know all of this and not tell me. When I was sitting there depressed and angry at the fucking world you knew all of this and didn't say a damn thing!"

"Joe stop!" Dave said grabbing him.

"It wasn't my place Joe." Jimmy said.

Everyone's eyes went to Catherine. Her life was in the limelight. Lisa shook her head in sympathy. Catherine was sad. But she'd brought t all on herself.

Catherine gagged and went straight into the bathroom vomiting.

Dylan came in and rocked her back and forth while she cried her eyes out.

Once she was done he left her to clean herself up. She walked and grabbed Naila from Dylan.

Naila was the light of the room in her little dress. She had a big flower headband around her head and was grinning.

"You are my sunshine." Catherine whispered to her.

She cooed and planted her mouth on Catherine's cheek.

"Catherine."

Joe walked up to her and pulled her into the hallway.

"Yes."

He planted his lips on hers in a firm kiss.

"Joe I but I thought you hated me."

"I don't know what I feel about you right now. I just needed to do that."

"Joe, are you going to take her away from me?" she asked.

He sat silent.

"Because Joseph I cannot lose her. She is my heart and my soul and I just-. Please don't take her Joe." She said sounding pitiful and broken.

"I won't take her from you. I wouldn't do that to you Cathy. I still love you. With all that I have. Can you just see that?" he said.

"I'm sorry."

"What's her name?"

"Naila Ahnmarie Garrelli."

"You gave her my last name?"

"yeah." she whispered.

"Do you love me Catherine?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know that I love you?"

"Yeah."

"And that I will never leave or hurt you or Naila."

"I do now." She said.

"Why do you run from everything?"

"Because I don't deserve this. You! You have to be crazy to even want to deal with me! You were hurt just letting me stay with you! I am tormented every night thinking someone will hurt Naila. I have to go to therapy just to keep from going crazy. Joe you don't want me."

"If I didn't want you I would've stopped talking to you a long time ago. Catherine Michelle Duke. I fucking love you. I don't give a flying fuck what you think. I think that you should stop jumping to conclusions about shit. Jay is dead. The prisoners killed him. Let him go. Let me love you Catherine. That's all I want to do. Love you and Naila." He said.

Tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Joe please." She pushed him away and went to Jimmy.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah Joe apologized. Catherine just let him in okay sweetheart? He loves you and I can see that."

She turned back to Joe and took a deep breath in before going over to him and kissing the daylights out of him all while holding their little girl.

Applause and loud whoops and yells sounded from all over the room.

"I'm so sorry Joe. I am so sorry. I should've never done that to you. I let my fears get in the way of what you needed to know and it hurt us in the process. I am so sorry-."

He cut her off with his lips.

"Don't talk about it. We are even closer now because of this. I don't blame you. It doesn't matter. It's all worth it for this little human between us okay?" he said wiping the tears off of her face.

He picked up Naila and it was like Naila knew that was her father because she laid her head on his shoulder and fell right asleep.

"I love you Catherine okay? This will be hard but I will never leave you."

"Okay."

The day of Bill's funeral was beautiful. The sun was out and there was even a rainbow.

"Bill even wanted you two together." Beth said.

Catherine smiled and watched as Joe played with Naila.

"You did good love." Dylan said creeping up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. She leaned back against his chest.

"Hey man that's my girl now." Joe said with a grin.

"Hey man I don't swing that way, though sometimes those hips can have me wondering." Dylan said patting Catherine's ass.

"Stop it!" she said.

"I'm just joking around." Dylan said kissing her temple.

Joe walked up to her and kissed the mess out of her.

"Get a room!" Beth said.

"Get a camera!" Matthew said.

"You two are gross."

"You love it!" Beth said.

They all shared laughs as they toasted to Bill.

Catherine sat in Joe's arms watching as Naila ran around chasing their new puppy.

She sighed in content pushing herself further into his chest.

"What are you thinking about?" he said kissing her neck. She shivered in delight.

"About how I almost passed this by. This love and peace. Joe I am so sorry for that." She said turning to face him.

"Baby its okay. You say sorry all the time. I forgive you. Have a long time ago. You were hurting and you didn't know how to deal with it. I'm just glad I'm here now to take all that pain away." He said.

"Uhm Joe I have something to tell you." She said.

"What baby?"

"Well uhm, I'm pregnant. I know this is unexpected."

"It's okay. I think we deal with unexpected very well." He said nodding towards their three year old.

"Yeah." She said.

"Baby you are my wife. I love you, I will have a hundred kids with you, expected or not." He said kissing her.

"I love you." She said lying her head on his chest.

"I love you too baby."

"Dylan!" they heard Naila scream and run towards the tall handsome blond man.

Dylan picked her up and smiled at the madly in love couple.

"Surprise the hell out of him Cathy. Okay?"

"You know I will." She said watching as Dylan left with Naila.

"What is he talking about?"

"Come here." She said bringing him back into the house. She put a blindfold on his eyes and sat him on the couch.

He heard her moving around. And soon he heard her low voice.

"Take off the blindfold."

The room was dark and had candles lit she was in front of him with a silk nightie. She walked over to him and sat on his lap kissing him passionately.

"What is this?"

"Your birthday gift. Me." She said.

She got up and led him to the dining room where a feast was lain out.

"You didn't do this that quick."

"Dylan set up while we were outside with Naila."

"You did this for me?"

"Yes after all you have done for me. You deserve this baby." She said she sat on his lap and fed him the lobster dinner she had made.

"This is a really big turn on Catherine."

"I know I can feel that." She said grinding into him.

He moaned and picked her up bringing her to their bedroom and putting her on the bed.

"Not so fast sir you're a tad bit overdressed and I'm not done." She said pushing him off and removing his clothes one by one. She led him to the bathroom where the tub was filled with bubbles and rose petals.

"Cathy you did all of this for me?"

"All you baby." She said.

He got in the tub and she gently washed him.

"Relax baby." She said.

He closed his eyes and sat back.

He got out and she laid him on the bed drying him off. She laid him on his stomach and began to oil him down working out the tension from his neck and back.

"Cathy." He moaned.

She turned him over and his penis was hard as a rock. She oiled down his front and lingered stroking him slowly.

He moaned and held her hand there.

"Cathy."

"Hmm?"

"Don't stop."

"I don't plan on it." She said lowering her head.

God he loved this woman.

She came back up and he brought her into a kiss ripping off the gown.

He entered her with one swift push.

 She moaned out and gripped at his back.

He made love to her hard and fast.

There were tears coming down her face as they finished.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"The exact opposite. I just love you so much." She said.

He kissed her tears away. With him, Naila, and the baby that was growing in her belly, she knew she was loved and would be okay.

"Happy birthday baby." She said.

He kissed her and they made love the rest of the night.