CHAPTER 1

                Macy

Positive....the test results were positive. Shock was too small a word for what Macy felt. More like push her over a cliff surprise. Denial is what she had been in for the past couple of weeks. Macy knew the symptoms were suspicious and denied it for as long as she could but her body had other plans. Morning sickness...check. Sore breast...another check. Nausea....well surprise, surprise...look, there's another check. Macy managed to convince herself she was coming down with the flu or some rare disease WebMD hadn't yet identified. Anything but the dreaded "P" word.....pregnancy. Common sense reared its ugly head and she decided to head to the nearest drugstore and bought a total of 5, count them five, dreaded "P" word test. The first one was obviously a mistake. The second test wasn't really pink, more a burgundy color so obviously that was defective. The third....was it a plus or minus, hard to tell as Macy had been horrible in math. The fourth; well no denying that one actually said "pregnancy". And now to save the most dreaded for last...the fifth test actually said yes and included a plus sign. Thank You First Response. No hiding from this, Macy was pregnant and had no idea where to go from here. Macy knew she had to make an appointment with her gynecologist but scared wasn't even the word. More like terrified. How could she let this happen? Sure it took two to tango but she shouldn't have let it get so far. Lying underneath the comforter in bed Macy called herself every bad name in the book. She wanted to kick her own ass. She was having a baby. Alone. How's that for depressing. Single black female having a child...alone. What a statistic! Macy dragged herself out of bed and into the living room to search for her cell phone. First agenda, call her doctor and schedule an appointment. Before Macy even thought about contacting Aiden she had to be completely sure.

"Maybe just maybe my hormones are out of wack and tests are false positives,' she thought aloud. "Then I won't have to contact him, all's well that ends well."

Finding her phone, Macy called her gyno, nervousness making her voice quiver. "Good morning, I would like to schedule an appointment with Dr. Schumer as soon as possible, preferably today."

"Name please" the brusque voice commanded.

"Macy Williams."

"She is booked this afternoon, but is free at 2pm tomorrow afternoon."

Macy sighed "I work tomorrow. Is there anything in the evening?"

She heard a frustrated sigh over the line. "Ms. Williams, you said as soon as possible. That is as soon as possible. Would you like the 2 o'clock or not? Dr. Schumer is not available tomorrow evening."

Macy held her tongue; this receptionist always had an attitude so she tried not to take it personally. "Fine, tomorrow afternoon at 2pm it is. Thank You" she bit out.

"Thank you, please remember to bring your insurance card and you have a lovely day."

Macy heard the dial tone in her ear. She didn't even ask me what the appointment was regarding Macy thought.

Macy walked into the kitchen for a light bite to eat, something that wouldn't make her vomit. Bypassing the fruit which had been giving her the he bee gee bees she headed straight for the peanut butter and celery.

Boom Boom Boom.

What the hell!? Macy thought.

Rushing to the apartment door with a celery stick jammed in her mouth she looked through the peep hole. Oh jeez, what have I done to deserve this?

Bracing herself, Macy opened the door to see her sister, lounging against the door jamb without a care in the world.

"Well, to what do I owe this pleasure?" Macy asked.

Eyeing her sister or as she liked to call her, "her parents biggest mistake", Macy struggled to contain her frustration. She hadn't seen her sister in months and now out of the blue she pops up. This could only mean one thing....she wanted money and by the looks of the two duffel bags she propped against the wall; a place to stay as well.

"I need a favor" Monique stated. She picked up the smallest bag and moved Macy aside to so she could enter. "Get that for me would you", she said pointing behind her to the largest duffel Macy had ever seen.

Macy looked at her younger sister with such frustration it was difficult to keep calm. "What do you want Mo?"

Monique looked around the spacious apartment. "Wow this is quite a place you have here."

Macy brought the duffel in, leaving it by the front door. She closed and locked the door then turned to stare at "her parents biggest mistake". Only 3 years separated the two sisters yet it might as well have been twenty. Macy and Monique had absolutely nothing in common, except blood. At twenty five, Monique continued to embrace the rebellious wild child routine she should have left in her teens. Disappearing acts...check. Moocher...check. Jobless....triple check.  And now she's on my door step or should I say in my home, Ugh.

"What do you want Mo? I'm busy"

Monique sighed as she let her bag fall to the floor, "I'm in trouble Mace and I need your help."

"What kind of trouble?" Macy asked, resigned to the fact she would be short at least $1,000.00.

Monique seemed to get smaller before her eyes as she looked at her.

"The thing is.... I'm pregnant."

Macy felt the floor shift underneath her feet. Oh God, you have got to be kidding me!

"Please repeat what you just said, because I ‘m certain I was temporarily deaf."

Monique huffed, looking anywhere but her sister. She knew this was a mistake coming here but Macy was the only person she trusted completely despite their wayward relationship.

"I said I'm pregnant and I need your help. I have no place to stay and I was fired last week when my boss found out I was pregnant."

Mo expected her sister to start yelling at any moment but she continued to stare at her with a dazed look on her face.

"I think I need to sit down" Macy replied.

Walking over to the cream colored microfiber sofa, Macy gingerly sat down. She was afraid she would pass out. This couldn't be happening. She had enough to deal with and now this.

Mo eyed her sister warily before sitting on the opposite side of the sofa. The apartment was eerily quiet except for the soft breathing of the two.

"Well", Mo said interrupting the silence, "aren't you going to say something?"

Macy started laughing, she couldn't help it.

Lord, she cracking up, Mo thought. "What's so funny Mace? I'm not joking."

Macy continued laughing. She could not believe this.

"Oh sis...you have no idea how funny this is", Macy said continuing to laugh.

"Well why don't you let me in on the joke, I could use a laugh", Mo replied sarcastically.

"Believe it or not I've had quite the morning. Actually these last few weeks are now hilarious although I didn't think so at the time."

"Just spill it Macy!"

Macy finally stopped laughing yet the smile on her face remained.

"I'm pregnant too. Looks like we're both in trouble huh?" Macy said softly.

Monique stared dumbly at Macy, not believing what she just heard.

"You're pregnant?"

Macy leaned back on the sofa and closed her eyes. She could feel Mo's eyes on her but she couldn't look at her just yet. For years Mo had been the screw up, the wild child and now her sister had a companion. God, how could she be so careless.

"Macy, I asked you a question."

Macy sighed and opened her eyes. "You heard me right the first time Mo. I'm pregnant too."

"I didn't know you were dating anyone Mace, I mean, not that I've seen you in months, but I keep my ear to the streets you know..."

Macy stared at her sister. Ear to the streets, her sister could be so ridiculous sometimes. "What the hell do you mean your ear to the streets? Why would my business be in the streets Monique? I don't conduct business in the streets."

Mo looked uncomfortable. "Well I check up on you from time to time. I worry about you sometimes."

"What?! Are you serious right now? You worry about me? That's funny. I am the most stable person in this family and you worry about me...unbelievable."

"Stable...really Macy...that's a stretch-"Monique stopped short.

Macy looked bewildered. "You show up on my doorstep, jobless, pregnant, and homeless yet you're worried about me? Please clue me in because I think missed something."

"I might be all of those things but at least I'm not sleeping with a married man Macy, so get off of your high horse. And now you're pregnant. Is he the father or have you found another ma-. You know what; I didn't come here to get into an argument with you. I am truly worried."

Macy felt sick. How did Mo know?!

"What are you talking about?"Macy asked.

Monique gnawed on her lower lip, nervous habit when she was thinking of ways to stall.

"Answer me Monique. What are you talking about?"

"I think you know."

Macy stood from the sofa and walked to the window. She couldn't look at Monique. Not now. She was supposed to be the strong one.

Monique walked over to her and stood at her back. "I know I shouldn't judge but I've been hearing things Mace. You think people aren't talking but they are. I have made my share of mistakes but I would never do to another woman what Dad put Mom through. They might be stronger than ever now but he broke her heart when he cheated on her. How could you do that to another woman?"

Macy stood rigidly at the window. "I think you should leave. Actually I know you should leave."

Mo stared in shock at her sister's reflection. "You're kicking me out?"

"You come into my house, ask for a place to stay then spout all of this...garbage. You might have to check your source. Or get your ears checked because you are so far off the course it's laughable."

"One thing we have always done is tell each other the truth, no matter how bad. You say my claims are laughable but I don't see you laughing. Please tell me the truth..."

Macy almost faltered but she caught herself. Mo would only use this against her. That was her modus operandi. "I asked you to leave, now leave."

Monique walked away and grabbed her bags. "I don't know why I came here. You will never change. Always have to be in control. Nothing can penetrate that heart of yours. That is unless it's a married man." Monique made her grand exit in typical Monique fashion; with a hair flip and a door slam.

Macy sighed and turned away from the window. She knew she was harsh but Mo caught her off guard. Macy couldn't deal with her sister, not yet. First she had to get through the next few days then she could deal with her sister. After the test then she could figure out where to go from there. She had to do damage control, because if her sister heard then it wasn't much of a secret was it? And if she was honest with herself then Macy could admit that Monique was right. Macys' life wasn't stable and hadn't been for the past year. She called Mo the screw up but her life wasn't so great either. Macy wanted to cry because what Mo said was right; her heart wasn't impenetrable; especially when it came to a married man. Because as much as she wanted to hide from the truth; it was impossible. Macy had an affair with a married man who wasn't in love with her and right now couldn't stand to be in the same room as her and didn't that hurt like hell. And now she was pregnant with their child. Things just kept getting worse.

CHAPTER 2

Deep breath in...deep breathes out. The waiting room of the ob-gyn office smelled like disinfectant and cheese whiz. Macy's' stomach was rolling so badly she wanted to curl up with a big can of ginger ale and celery. It had been had an hour so far and the receptionist had yet to call her name. She was going stir crazy looking at the other women sitting there rubbing their stomachs with smiles on their face. The camaraderie between them was something she envied. Is that all it takes...a big pregnant belly and instant friendship? Macy sat quietly feeling like an outsider. Sure common sense told her that the women formed a bond over the past few months regarding their expanding bellies, but lately common sense flew out the window. Her need for companionship had recently intensified. The realization that she would be doing this alone scared her. Macy didn't forget that her sister was pregnant; it was more of denial she found herself in. Thinking about Mo's own pregnancy saddened her even more. She did not want to bond over which food made her nauseous and how sore her breasts were...nope. Because then the bonding moment would surely include single mother hood and that was something Macy did not want to bond over. She wanted for her sister what she craved for herself right now; stability. Macy took no pride in being pregnant by a man who couldn't stand to look at her. Quite frankly she was embarrassed. I knew better than this. What is wrong with me? Macy thought.

"Macy Williams......Macy Williams" the receptionist called.

Macy jumped out of the chair...  "That's me...I'm here."

She could feel the eyes of the other women on her; judging her. It was the wedding ring, or lack thereof. Macy noticed their eyes on her scanning her from head to toe, because she did the same thing to them. Out of the five patients in the waiting area, only Macy was ring less. Paranoia was a bitch.

Walking through the door that led the way to the exam rooms, Macys' heart began to pump. She felt sweaty and light headed. The nurse stopped in front of a dark brown wooden door, pushed it open and motioned for Macy to enter. Macy paused and looked for an escape route, positive she had shined her bat signal for help. There was nothing...just a sterile exam room complete with instruments made for torture and no window to jump from. The nurse glanced at her warily before once again motioning Macy to enter. Taking a deep breath, Macy crossed the great divide into impending motherhood, of course she did that when she had sex with....him but this was an even bigger step. This was the confirmation of it all. That none of it was a dream. The sweaty moans, roaming hands, breathy sighs...this was confirmation that she really did lose her mind.

"If you will have a seat the doctor will be right with you."

"Do you know how-"The door closed behind the nurse before she could finish. Well that was rude.

Macy sat in the chair beside the exam table, not comfortable enough to climb on it yet; anything to delay the inevitable. She checked her phone for messages. Not a thing. Macy was a grade 5 leading executive assistant for a major Fortune 500 company called The9 Corp. She kissed ass and lots of it while making sure the top brass had everything they needed and more. She thought about their day before they did. But she didn't mind too much. It was very wealthy ass which doled out generous yearly bonuses that she would definitely benefit from soon. Placing her phone in her purse she wished for an interruption, a text...something, but Macy knew better. She had become persona non grata at work. Where before she was looked up to by the other assistants for her knowledge regarding the company and all it entailed, they now avoided her. Like the mothers in the waiting area, her peers at work watched her from head to toe; just for a different reason.

The door opened gently, Macy's thoughts cut short upon the doctors' arrival.

"Macy...how are you doing dear?" Dr. Schumer asked pleasantly.

Macy smiled nervously. "Well, I've been okay. How is everything with you? How are the grand-kids?" Macy asked, stalling.

Dr. Schumer smiled knowingly, "they are as rambunctious as ever, thank you for asking. Now how are you doing? According to my chart you were here approximately three months ago, on August 25th and everything was okay. Has there been a change?"

Macy looked into Dr. Schumer's pleasant blue eyes. There was something about this woman with her graying shoulder length blonde hair and quick smile that should have put Macy at ease but it didn't.

"Macy what's wrong? You can be completely honest with me."

Macy took a deep breath. "I think I'm pregnant. Actually, I know I'm pregnant...I took five home pregnancy test which to some degree all said positive," she said in a rush.

Dr. Schumer smiled gently. "Macy... please calm down. Please sit on the exam table."

Macy stood on shaky knees and slid onto the table.

"Okay, start slowly."

Macy took a deep breath. "As I said, I think I'm pregnant. I had...ummm....well, unpro- I had unprotected sex two months ago and I haven't gotten my period since before I had...sex....unprotected. I've been nauseous and my breasts ache especially in the mornings."

Macy felt sick. This was not how she wanted her first obstetrician appointment to go. No husband, no close friends.....

"Okay, well first things first, I'll do an exam and then we'll do some blood work. It will be alright. Women go through this all of the time. Now change into this gown and we'll see what's happening. I'll be back."

Macy changed into the gown and sat on the exam table. Waiting....it seemed she would be waiting for quite some time. Seven months to be exact.  

2 HOURS LATER

Macy shouldn't have been shocked. Sitting at her kitchen table drinking tea she was exhausted. Dr. Schumer confirmed what 5 home pregnancy test, nausea and tender breasts told her. She was pregnant. How was she going to tell her family? Glancing at the prenatal vitamins she wrapped her hands around her mug, the hot tea warming her hands from the chill she felt in the air. November...in Portland, Oregon was chilly, especially chilly since there was no one she could call to confide in. Loneliness was cold. She never realized how much until he left. She relied on him for so much, too much. He became her warmth, her heat, her passion. Too bad she didn't become his. She shook her head clear of thoughts about Aiden Black. Thoughts of him...them, only served to confuse her. It was time to move on.

Tomorrow she would head back to the office and use the mundane activity of work to escape from this madness. Macy knew she had to tell Aiden, just not how or when. High School graduation seemed a little extreme so maybe... kindergarten? Seeing him again would be hard but necessary. Of course since she hadn't seen Aiden in weeks due to his transfer maybe she wouldn't have to tell him at all. He stopped returning her calls weeks ago and she got the message. They were over.

Macy took her mug and rinsed it out. Her body was on auto pilot. Dr. Schumer said she was perfectly healthy and so was ...the baby. As difficult as it was for her, Macy asked about aborting the baby. She had to, as they say, consider all of her options. Until she made a decision, Dr. Schumer suggested she start taking prenatal vitamins. Armed with pamphlets, she left the doctor's office feeling judged, as though there were a big scarlet A on her chest. Affair, adulterer, abortion, pick one. Now with the pamphlets laid out on the kitchen table she felt panicked, anxious. She took them and swept them into the kitchen junk drawer. Deep inside, she had already made her decision. She was having a baby.

MACY WILLIAMS

MONIQUE WILLIAMS

AIDEN BLACK