I looked at him standing in my line of vision; I kept my eyes trained on him. I swear I had steam coming out of my ears that’s just how mad I was. I saw blood, lots and lots of blood and not a single drop in that ocean was mine. I looked up to heaven in a plea for patience but heaven had nothing for me. In my reverie I could hear them pleading "Marie please listen", "Marie babe I can explain’’. I was far too gone to listen to any of that. I rustled through the tic tacs in my handbag to find my never been used gun, Ok you might be wondering why I might possess it in the first place. I'm not in the mafia or anything of that sort, I don't deal any kind of illegal business, but ironically had gotten it on Marx my husband’s prompting that I had gotten it after two consecutive late nights at the office.

 I pointed the gun at my pathetic soon to be ex-husband who gasped shooting his hands up, so fast the towel covering him fell to the floor, leaving his naked bits unprotected, It could have been seriously amusing had I not been mad I would have laughed. This particular incident did nothing for my funny bone though, my husband of four years was right there in front of me not a stitch graced his body and to his left stood, my one and only little sister Angel draped in a sheet to cover up her shame. Said little sister is my current good deed of the year. I took her in when everyone else had given up on her, my grandmother had made me take her in saying maybe my place would provide the new start she needed.

 Honestly I love that lady so much and can do anything for her so I took Angie in. Now it seemed as if Dear-ol’-Marxie was just the new start baby girl needed, how was I supposed to react except to whip out ol’ faithful?. " Marie.... Babe... Drop down the gun and....." before he could finish the sentence I gave him a colder than the Arctic stare. I counted to ten and backwards but it wasn't helping much. All I could think of was how fast I can get out of the country after I kill them both and how much It would cost to get a new identity. Yea I was on some Bourne shit right here. I inhaled and exhaled again till I felt a slight burn in my lungs, I clutched the gun tighter with both hands strengthening my resolve to shoot.

If prison was Orange Is the New Black I would survive right?. The trick was in keeping your head down and doing your time right?. It is that train of thought that eventually had me slowly lowering it then finally retracting the loaded gun and walked towards the door. I guess they both got the message because as soon as the door closed they scurried around like rats at lights on. Ooh did I mention that they were going at it in my marital bed?. So please pardon me for I do get to reserve the rights to be stark raving mad. I've had a long and rather disappointing day at work and I get home to this bullshit. How the hell am I supposed to react to that?. I was ready to kick, punch, claw, rip and burn but I could not allow myself to show any emotions.

 By the time my soon to be ex-husband and ex-sister came out I had stopped pacing like an incarcerated beast and had adopted a deceptively calm veneer that was as much a façade as my seeming will to discuss this like adults. Wait a minute is there anything like ex-sister, whatever I just know there is going to be a lot of ex-ing tonight. I sat down coolly looking all business like, legs crossed and a stiff glass of scotch in my hand. I know I looked hot and scary while at it, what can I say I got good genes. This is so not the time to be bragging about my gene pool (clears throat). I pinched myself inwardly to the totally serious issue at hand. The best way to crack someone up, I have learnt over the years, is not interrogation but silence. Angel couldn't stop fidgeting with the shirt cuffs. She really pulled off the boyfriend look in the YSL shirt I bought Marx. I bet she realized the little error because she flinched looked at me opening and closing her mouth like a halibut out of water all I did was arch one perfectly trimmed brow.

Unable to take the silence any more one of them was bound to crack up. I figured the fidgeting, awkward glances around the room and the sudden fascination with the carpeted floor could only go so far. Sure as a nun’s period one of them did blurt out…

"Marie please say something" Angel's pleading voice came.

Figures, Little girl was swimming with sharks yet her place was clearly in a bowl besides a little boy's bed. Marx finally got pissed by my silence and yelled.

"Marie got-damnit say fucking something for crying out loud" guess Marx knows attack is the best form of defence.

" Just fucking do something already, do you have to be so fucking cold?..." He kept yelling, I really would want to tell you the rest of what he was saying but I zoned out at the first words. This so isn't how I envisioned my Friday night to be like. I yawned as Marx kept rumbling on and on about how Angel made him and i quote "feel like a man" and how I don't "let him be a man". Shame poor Marxie needed to be “let” be a man, guess his Dad never sat down with him to tell him, No one “lets” you be anything, you just be and if they are not ok with it they had to bend to fit your edges. I looked at his ruddy face it seemed as if he was just about ready to pop a baby from the bulging vein on his forehead. I pulled out my work case and undid the latch. I hid an amused smile as Marx and Angie jumped at the sound of the latch Th.ey were rightfully afraid, as hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, worse of all, one who had a gun and a Scotch. Wish it was something totally hard-core, like if I just started to assemble a freaking high-tech machine gun or what, that would be totally have been cool.

 I pulled out some papers laid them on the table. For the first time since I got home I spoke up I cleared my throat and said in a curt business tone

"Sign here, here and here".

Marx had the gall to look hurt "Divorce papers Marie?".

Marx looked at me as if studying  my reaction or waiting for an explanation but I sure as hell was not going to offer any. Instead I stood up, sashayed putting a little bit extra swing in my hips and took a few steps then, turned and said to them…

"I hope there will be no one when I get back here, oh and this time I won't hesitate to use the gun". I heard them plead, throw insults and make threats as I walked the now somehow extended walk towards the exit. The balmy summer air hit me along with the evening's events. This just didn’t happen to me, I squeezed my eyes shut willing it all away but reality was a sadist and she Mayweather punched me square in the face. I sat in my car and every emotion I had somehow so successfully held in check, came out cascading through my eyes.

I might have acted the tough girl tonight, portraying a cool façade but the truth is it was just that, a brave face which was meant to make me believe that I really am that strong. What happened today really hurt something fierce. I have always had to be strong and hold everything together for everyone around me but the truth is even I have a boiling point, I just had never explored it. I had felt my heart in my palm painfully beat, as it had been brutally gutted out by the two people within whom I had placed all my faith in. the two people I worked hard for and could not stand to disappoint had, had no time to think about the implications of their actions on me, ironically it seemed I was the last person whose feelings they considered.

I shook my head of the self-sympathising thoughts that ate away my sanity. When I had opened the door earlier tonight I had been looking forward to kicking off my shoes, indulge into a cathartically hot meal, I had even brought food for the bloody family. I had walked in expecting "Family Ties" only to walk into some messy soapie shit isn’t that a... The impact of the betrayal was just too much I mean I could act the victim and ask " how could they" but clearly we all know how they could I mean, they just did!.

I sighed tanking a sip of my drink and dived right back into my reverie. I'm not one to self-pity, which at the rate I was going with the mopping, is probably hard to believe. My biggest problem is I have always invested more into something than it actually is worth, have sacrificed a hell of things for this family and the thank you I get is a slap, smack in the middle of my blissfully ignorant face. I know for some reason that it  might not even have been the first time that has happened since lately I have been working late, I get home I'm tired and all I need is a hot bed and a warm bathe. So maybe ole Marxie Warxie needed a lil il nah nah and dear sweet little Angie had offered to help him out.

You know what? I think I have the definition of love to a tee now, not that any betrayed person does not think they do it is times like this that we get into this type of existential epiphany. I guess this was mine and I will guiltily go into mine and blame it on the alcohol, when you are in love the definition is always rosy but when it's the other way around the view is always so vile. To me at this point love has become poison; once it's introduced to your system it eats all your insides till the element of your affection becomes the center of your universe. Your sole existence becomes entirely dependent on the person they become the solar of your life and everything that is you revolves around them. They become the kidney that purifies your system, the lungs you need to breath and the heart that holds everything together. Having them removed from you would be like being removed from your life support system and you are left a vegetable vulnerable to anything. I know I am ranting, just let me have my drunk wisdom on this one, even though it probably makes as little sense as kissing an elbow.

I loved Marx, I am sure I did at one point in this marriage loved him way more than I had the past year or so. He had taken care of me when it had mattered; I knew he had some weaknesses, but who doesn’t? We had lived through the worst of times together and maybe out of sheer complacence or because I genuinely believed we could, I wanted us to stay that way for a long time. I tried but couldn't think of myself outside a relationship and searching for anyone else after this seemed too much for me. I had become comfortable with being with him and had not contemplated ever having to look for another person. Don't get me wrong I do get hit on and asked out on dates but the thought of learning someone anew, getting to trust and dare I  say loving them. I didn't think all that was going to be for me again. Now I know why women are reluctant to get out of abusive affairs, thinking about starting something new is a chore. It's just funny how your heart can manipulate your whole system into believing things that are not true. Because we yearn to love and believe we are loved we sell ourselves short into believing what we have is what we deserve yet there is promise of more.

I lifted my head to the bartender and motioned for another beer. I was never big on drinking but here I was late into the night kissing a cold one like it had answers to my suddenly crumbling life. I wanted clarity and maybe beer could help me in retracing my life to see where I had gone wrong. "Lady ...." A deep voice which I would have easily appreciated had I not been in a foul mood, broke my trip down memory lane. I whipped my head up so sharp I bet it would cut a fool right at the throat and threw him a dangerous look. "What?" I managed to croak out, "Don't you think you ......"

"Think I what?" I cut into him "Think I've had enough?" I snapped

"Um ......."

"Who the hell do you think you are huh?. Isn't it your job to just keep my glass full?, as long as I give you your money keep them coming. I don’t need Jimminy cricket to tell me what to do" I was being a bitch I know but hey I had to let out my frustrations on someone and this unfortunate man was the unsuspecting victim.

"You think you can just tell me what to do? You don't know....."

"Yeah I don't know you but um... lady the bar is closing now. I'm the only one who is left and I have to go now" He said slowly as if he was talking to a toddler.

Sure enough I looked around and I was the only one left in a bar that may have been bustling with patrons early in the evening. I wouldn’t know though from the house to here everything had turned to a hazy blur. Shit! I swore under my breath, how many of these did I f take I feel so drunk. What was the time anyway? I took out my wallet, like a good wife who clipped coupons I counted the money to the last cent with the tip and placed it on the table and stood to leave.

Wanting to have the last word I slurred "What kind of bar is this?". I have never ever been a good drunk, he might have replied but I sure as hell don't know where the conversation was going. I wobbled to the exit or at least what I thought was the exit. I felt hands on my waist, I jumped up and let out a surprising yelp, I might be drunk but I sure as hell was not going to be taken advantage of. I tried to get away from him but his grip was firm and steady.

"I will scream to high hell if you do not unhand me right this minute, you brute" I sputtered threateningly to him.

"I doubt anyone would hear you in this neighbourhood sweetheart" he drawled I'm sure I heard amusement in his tone.

I gulped nervously; he chuckled with genuine amusement "I'm not going to do much except point you to the exit not the office".

I felt so stupid and could feel tears jab little needles from inside my eyelids. I turned into his not surprisingly hard chest and for the first time that evening I wept, the-soak-a-stranger’s-shirt, bawl my eyes out type of weeping. I felt him tense up under my clenched fingers then slowly relax or maybe he just gave up trying to make sense of it all, but he didn’t touch me. I know I should have felt embarrassed about this uncharacteristic behaviour, but I literally needed a shoulder to cry on and would take it anyway I got it. After detaching from him I muttered my apologies and could not look him in the eye, but paid unnecessary attention to the old bar floor tiles. He simply let go of me, as if nothing awkward had happened, straightened his shirt and shrugged it off like something that wasn’t new to him then walked towards the office. I looked at his strong departing back, too quick for my current state I turned to leave, my head spun like a Spalding in a pro’s hand. I knew the inevitable was coming and everything went black…

I kept looking at her frame as her beautiful curvy body was silhouetted by the dim light that illuminated the sparsely populated bar. From the shadows where I lurked my eyes ran from the thick curls which fell to her shoulders. The thick full bottom lip which, she constantly worried between her teeth kept me transfixed on her form, I am sure I at one point drooled. Had I been any braver I would have marched over to her and sparked a mentally invigorating conversation, which would instantly have her fall deeply and helplessly in love with him. We would marry, do the whole picket fence and 2.5 Mensa qualifying kids and a dog, yeah and a dog, she looked like she likes dogs. I broke into a smile at that thought.

The beautiful, mocha goddess whose forlorn looks did nothing to mask the blinding beauty didn’t seem to be entertaining though, from where I sat I had seen her shoot down so many potential suitors. It didn’t seem like she was sifting through the lot either rather she genuinely was content being lost in whatever thoughts that brought a frown to her forehead. I wanted to go over there make her laugh, wipe the frown away, take her into my arms and soothe her. I was a realist though - the likes of me had no business reaching for the likes of her.

I had come into the bar to wind down after a rather long day. The initial plan was to grab one or two then leave, as a force of habit I never stayed in one place too long. I had just stood up sorting through my wallet to settle my bill after finishing my supposed last one.  I lifted my head, stared as she walked in and headed straight for the bar, pulled a stool. I could only fall back onto my seat as if a huge force had pushed me down. This was not the type of woman to come to The Drench, even the name sounded oddly depressing.

I sat for over two hours watching her, It was getting late I knew. A waitress came to me and told me it was closing time, which jolted me from my reverie as time had stood still while watching her. I walked out half hoping she would follow and maybe I would walk her to her car. I waited by my car sure the only other remaining vehicle in the lot was hers. I sat a while longer; I grew worried when she didn’t come out. I watched the light being switched off, and the muscular bar tender came out, dragging something which I could not make out in the dark, he locked the door and dragged whatever it was and disappeared into the alley. He reappeared on a motorcycle and rode off into the night…   

********

.... One step, two step counting tiles on the floor three steps four steps guess this means that I'm a who.....  Uh Uh not me I sure did nothing, I think, so P!nk might be apt but not to a tee. I mean yeah I am doing the walk of damn shame and all, but not because I was getting my bump and grind on, it’s simply because I was a woman scorned!. My body felt strange and I had woken up in an alley!!!, shaking my head and letting out a sigh, OH HOW THE GREAT HAVE FALLEN. Even during the infamous college years I had never woken up anywhere else besides my then squalid apartment. Now here I was six years later walking in broad daylight with messy hair which I kept trying to finger comb into some sort of order, clad in dirty clothes completed by torn stockings. I wish I knew what had happened to me all I knew is that I woke up with my body aching everywhere, my mouth felt all cottony. The rest of my body was no better I felt like I had been beaten to a pulp and I could not even locate the exact source of the pain. Everything in and on me felt connected to one aching nerve and I had bruises all over. I limped to the car park hoping my car was still there, Please God don't let anybody see me was all I prayed for under my breath the whole time. I still couldn’t believe I had just woken up in a strange neighbourhood feeling as if I had been run over by a car, beaten by a baseball bat, trampled by a herd of Mexican bulls then hung out to dry. Shit I even had the 12 days of Christmas drummers, drumming in my head and the bloody sun was not even cutting me a slack. I felt more grateful than I've ever been to see my little Tomato red Golf. All I wanted was to get home, get cleaned and nurse my ego and body.

                                                           ********

I headed straight for the shower, cringing at what I saw in the mirror. I had bruises on my faces and looked more haggard than a homeless hobo. “What the hell happened to you ?", I whispered to my reflection. I really don't remember engaging in a fist fight, but by the look of things I had gone 3 rounds with Rocky Balboa and him winning with a knockout. I might be a bad drunk because I blackout and wake up with no recollection of all that would have happened the previous night whatsoever, but I know I'm too chicken shit to fight even when it's under the influence. Guess sleeping in a damn alley does that I scoffed and said out aloud "Alley!!" damn! What was wrong with me? I swear it will never be told to any living being. I mean how do you explain how you got so low, drank up a storm then passed out in the midst of a drunken stupor and not remember the rest pre and post that?. My whole body hurt and I took a harsh breath in as I washed my tenders, even that was sore.

As I was walking out of the bathroom wrapped in my warm terry cloth robe I felt twenty times better, yet a thousand times still aching, just calculate how I had been feeling before the bath. That is when I heard a loud sound coming from my kitchen. I might have forgotten what had gone down last night but I most definitely remember that today I should be riding solo. This house was supposed to be vacant so who was in my kitchen?.

I went to investigate the source of the noise and behind curtain number one was... " Good morning Marie", Angel's sunny voice hit my ears. I frowned, not hating or anything but she is annoyingly a morning person where I myself need of a dose of caffeine first thing in the morning to function. I really wasn't surprised to see one of them here lo and behold there Angie was cooking up a storm. I relaxed my stance then stared dead at her, she looked up at me then quickly fixed her gaze on fingers that fidgeting with her apron. She stole another look at me widened her eyes and frowned. Marie what happened to you? Lemme take a look at that". She said fussing and making a beeline toward me hand outstretched to reach for my face.

I evaded her hand moving away from her reach. She slowly withdrew her hand and clenched it into an unsure fist at her side. I looked at her again this time meeting her eyes. She smiled at me;

"Let me go get the first aid kit and a packet of frozen peas for that" she busied herself off fussing like a mother hen.

"You really have to be careful, where you in a fight? I know you don't fight so tell me what happened?" she kept rambling and though it hurt my face kept twisted in a displeased frown. "What are you doing here", I asked calmly too tired on top of being battered to act any other way.

"I am making you breakfast, I thought you would be hungry after last night", Oh no she didn't! I thought. Daring to mention last night, this kid really?. She cringed, I think realising the slipup.

 "Angie....",

"Marie", she cut me off "I messed up I know” she took my silence as permission to go on, she started rambling on fast, as if afraid she won’t get the chance again “I don't know how to make it up to you. I'm sorry Marie seriously I.... I...... I'm super sorry, I know I betrayed you. If I could undo it I would sis please jus..."

"Angie what do you want from me” I said tiredly stopping her babbling, tired of listening to her desperate pleas “Didn't I make it clear that I need you gone before I came back?”. She had the nerve to act surprised. “But I apologized” she sounded as if she was on the verge of bursting into tears. Which made me mad; the naiveté of this child was so infuriating. She honestly thought her apology would do what exactly? Erase last night?.  Thank God for inhaling and exhaling. When I did speak it was so calm “Angie I'm just wondering if you want to be reacquainted with my friend from last night, the gun, remember him? Because here you are, yet I clearly recall telling you that if I see you here there will be more than words going down here. So it leaves me wondering if you want to be introduced to him", I said menacingly, with more surety than I actually felt.

Her bottom lip was trembling as she stared at me looking so pathetic it could have moved a lesser person.

 "But I have nowhere to go", she whimpered  

"And it's my fault?"

"I said I'm sorry",

"And it reversed what you did?"

"Mari where will I go?", she said breaking out into a full sob.

I side stepped her, I needed some coffee if I had to keep dealing with this junk. I took the freshly brewed pot and poured it down the sink, then set on making a new one. I looked over at her, placing my hands onto my waist "Angie you made your bed, with my husband in it at that. You should have been ready to lie in it, how did you think I was going to react? Smile and give you my fucking blessing.". I was slowly getting worked up and knew if I didn't reign it I was going to do more damage than I wanted.

"Just go", I said with a finality I had to muster.

"Marie....."

"No Angie go, leave now before I do something that won't make me proud",

She stared at me long and hard then furiously wiping her eyes she ground out under clenched teeth, "Yeah Marie, worry about your pride, it's the very reason you lost your man." With that she stomped out of the kitchen. I was still shocked from what she just said "Angie!!!" I yelled "Come back and tell me what the fuck you mean little girl". I said following her.

"I'm not a little girl that you can ask your husband for confirmation" she mumbled the last part not seeing me on her heels.

"You don't get to walk away from me, I am not breathing by your will, but you are however breathing right now because I'm letting you" the dark cloud of anger made it difficult for me to see anything else. I am on good days a staggering 5ft 2 and Angie is way taller than me at 5.8 but right now I was by some miracle towering over her.

"I took you in when no one wanted to, when fucking Marx didn't want you here so you don't get to tell me shit little girl. Everything on you right now has my name all over it so shut the fuck up about me not running your life" I took a much needed breath "my fucking pride saved you fucking foster care, I sacrificed that damned pride you are talking about to take you into my fucking college room when everyone else was rooming with boyfriends, so you don't get to diss that girl it saved your fucking life".

From nowhere she whipped up her head looking all smug with my hand imprinted on her now blazing tear stained cheek, a self-satisfied smirk grazed her lips "I probably shouldn't tell you I'm pregnant since you can't have one of your own right?". That came way sharper than the slap I had just administered to her. The smirk bloomed into a full on smile holding her head so high she turned and sashayed away from me. That left me speechless, staring at her retreating back, I clutched my very broken heart sinking to the floor on my knees.

I howled at the ceiling like an injured wolf, pleading with Lunar to embrace my soul and take the hurt away. Everything was falling apart in my world and the centre could not hold. My life had suddenly followed the gestalt of dominoes and the one missing piece had triggered an epic meltdown. I liquefied into a broken heap surrounded by the shards of my broken heart clutching my cursed belly and in all earnest wept.

Angie was pregnant?, How could she? How could Marx after all we have been through? I had prayed, pleaded, bargained and had been willing to trade my soul for one of my own. I don't know from where I had gotten the strength to get up from the floor, I somehow Hulked, bashing everything in my path like a cyclone. I did a quick job of disposing Angie onto her ass with nothing but the clothes on her back and a black eye as an accessory. For hours after she had gone, I sat, still clad in my bathrobe, curled on the couch, trying to chase the evasive Morpheus, maybe if I slept, I would know which foot to put before the other. My navigating campus had just broken now I held the needle, sure I would stab myself in the chest with it.

********

The following day or is it, two or maybe a week, it all seemed the same now, I had adopted the routine of going to The Drench sitting in that corner booth strategically close to the door, studying every person who entered. It seemed what the bar lacked in clientele it made up in loyalty. It seemed the same faces came there every night, each came around the very same interval every night. I would sit there observing everything, camouflaged by the dark, nursing that one beer bottle till the tepidity was no longer bearable, and then leave. It didn't seem like she was a regular and her appearance had been impulsive. What worried me the most was that I hadn't seen her leave, asking the bar tender was not even in the binder as instead of the giant that manned the bar that night, was a no nonsense girl whose curt replies and unapproachable demeanour had made it difficult for me to keep asking her any more questions. So I slung my jacket over my shoulder and headed out the balmy night. What are the odds of meeting the same woman in the same bar, It obviously had been a fluke.

********

Heartbreaks devalue time, it loses all its meaning and every day fuses into one aching moment after another. All of that made even made more unbearable by random sweet memories that sneak every once in a while when you strengthen your resolve and choosing to let go.

After Angie had gone I was left all alone, that threshold I had been carried over as a blushing bride mocking me, the forevers whispered there had been brutally murdered, that shared mirage of the future quickly vanished from my reach. Angie was taken in by my aunt Lorraine who took it upon herself to seek her out and take her in after I had told her I had kicked her out and the circumstances leading to that course of action. Helpful Lorraine had called me a cold hearted controlling fiend who will end up sad and alone because I push away people to save my worthless pride. Her words not mine, which I really don't understand I was the wronged person in this scenario right?. It seemed the people who came to "console" me, didn't seem to share that view. The whole family or the half that came to see me anyway, were convinced that, Angie, who had been playing the horizontal mambo with my husband deserved a second chance. Angie, who had gone at it with Marx not once, not twice but enough to get knocked up and even after that they still were at it to ensure twins!.

When I confronted Lorraine, asking how it is that she thought Angie deserved a chance. I had to grit my teeth, clench my fist through her diatribe of how Angie had wanted to help me with my "little fertility problem" or that maybe Marx wanted an heir and the nearest he could get that from me was the next best thing, Angie.... Pause for effect, to let it sink in. MY FAMILY!!, had decided to surrogate my sister, make her the rent-a-womb for my pathetic case, with Marx playing stable stud unbeknownst to me, Tell me again why one needs enemies?. 

Yeah, I couldn't believe it either , that rendered me too powerless to seek my Hulk and beat her to a pulp then throw her to the curb on her ass then hope a U-Haul ran her over. I tried calling Laani, my best friend, but couldn't get a hold of her, the next best thing would have been calling my grandmother, but I wasn't sure I wanted to tell her such news over the phone. Instead I took a calming drive, which unconsciously led me to The Drench. I know, not the classiest bar to want to frequent but the only choice I had considering I knew next to nothing about bars and it was the closest thing to my house.

I stepped into the already dim room, because I was so dressed down and not in the mood for chit chat, not that I ever was, and these days considering all that had gone down, it had gotten worse. I chose the table closest to the door and unlikely to attract anyone, yet could easily get the waitress' attention. I noticed the perky waitress making her way over to me and It finally registered that this was the place I had woken up in the alley, I looked around my cheeks burning with shame, wanting to believe no one knew this. What are the chances that anyone remembered me, I looked over at the bartender, Oh God!, the bartender he likely remembered me, I had all but flung myself onto him and bawled like an idiot. Instead of the beautiful Nordic god stood a short girl who had a permanent frown on her forehead. I relaxed a little, the waitress made a quick job of taking my order and I soon held a cold glass of the girliest beer they could find.

 The venom my aunt had spewed was fresh on my mind. I was turning it around in my head trying to see where exactly she was coming from. It finally clicked in my head, and the realisation almost had me jump out of my seat, the bitch!, she probably had rodeoed on Marx too. Lorraine had come to collect divorce papers she had asked me to get some lawyer friend to draft for her. Fortunately they had come in handy and at the right time that's one point for her.

While lost in the labyrinth of my thoughts, someone asked if the seat across from me was taken. I just shook my head and didn't look up. I hopped this person had no intention to chat me up or some sleezy bar pick up cliché people did in these sort of places. I retired back into my thoughts, trying to compartmentalize the pain. 

I just wonder if it was a unanimous decision or my aunt had decided to make Angie the Hagar to my poor man's version of Sarah, or maybe the humping had preceded the decision. Maybe Lorraine had found out their secret, decided not to let me in on the deception that was going on right under my nose, then her being the scheming twat she was, she must have decided to capitalise on it. Which brought me to another befuddlement, WWIIFL (What Was In It For Lorraine?) A question she had thrown into my face when I was in college and had asked she take in Angie after my parents had died. There was no way she had done all this out of the goodness of her own heart. I mean here was a woman who kept divorce papers and sex tapes in her purse for leverage. If she thought making some other woman bear a child for you was a feasible plan why the hell did she not give Angie to her husband. Her husband Jerin is seventeen years younger than her, and was on the verge of divorcing her, when she had discovered this, she decided to have the upper hand in it all. She has her own problems yet she was busy trying to rectify mine talk about stick in another's eye with a log in yours.

 I lifted my head to signal the waitress, instead I looked into the most intense of eyes whose colour I could not make out in the bar's dim light. I am sure I stared at them longer than I should have, then let my eyes roam the rest of the face which despite the poor light I could see was very handsome. His silhouetted outline clearly showed a strong jaw line, full lips that were curved up into an unsure smile and cheekbones that could make a model jealous. I internally shook myself before I embarrassed myself, a deep smooth baritone permeated the lips with a "Hi"

                                                             *********

Today was the last day, I told myself, maybe it was for the best, I was not looking for anything and going to a bar to stalk for a lady I hadn't even talked to and would likely never see again was looking for trouble. In the guise of winding down after a long day's work I saw myself at the entrance of the The Drench. The perky waitress Becky enthusiastically waved at me I smiled her way then walked to my usual spot. Today I had been a little earlier than usual and most of the tables were empty. Over the last few weeks I had come to know who sits where in the bar and the exact time they came in. It was just something I unconsciously did.

I was taken aback when I noticed a figure on my usual spot. This sort of thing affected balance for me, worse off the person sat in my exact spot. I looked around the bar for any other place to sit but all the spots that I would likely sit were taken, or will be in exactly 45 minutes to an hour giving an allowance that the other guys sometimes got off work late sometimes. I steeled myself and walked over to my regular table, It was a woman whose head was downcast, who clearly wasn't a regular here, not that The Drench had any regular female frequenters. Besides the waitresses, the bartender and the usual arm candy who escorted one or two guys, the bar was a testosterone mine field. I spoke twice before she lifted her head briefly and shook it, IT WAS HER!!. What were the odds really?. She paid no attention to me, rather wore the same frown she had the first time I had seen her.

Now that she was within arm's reach I did not know what to say to her. All I could do was stare like a starstruck idiot at the flawless mocha skin, the full lips that would, unconsciously give the glass the most sensual treatment I had ever seen. I had seen some beautiful women, I tell you, but this lady, whose make up free face suddenly lifted and stared straight at him, was something else. Her eyes held mine for a while, I swallowed hard  afraid to make a fool of myself , I chose to speak instead letting out a very uncertain "Hi", which was rather disappointing as I had meant it to come out as confident and flirty, things that had never alluded me before. She licked her lips then softly said it back, I let out breath I hadn't known I held.

"Hi you, What can I get you today?"  Perky Becky interrupted our stare down. I smiled up at her and said "Hi Becky, can I have one beer please, and another glass of what she is having". Becky frowned a bit as if noticing his company for the first time. She pasted a smile back on her face and walked away. "You don't have to order my drink, I can..." "I am sure you can, so thank you for giving the pleasure to me" I said to her with confidence, more than I had at that particular time. I hoped she didn't keep up refusing because I had just used up my one nice line. Instead she smiled and shook her head, then sat up paying all her attention to me. I honestly had nothing to say, but had to say something to keep her attention.