Chapter 12

            A moment. It’s something that most people don’t quibble about or even recognize. They are greatly underestimated little measures of time, however they are the things that people are mostly emotional over. They are anticipated, regretted, loved, and hated. In most cases people take them for granted. A moment can make a situation or break it into pieces. No one knows how truly valuable they are until after it happens. A moment was all that it took to shake the foundation of a family. It took many more for Zora to change her perceptions, to question her own feelings, to forgive. Being around her father felt like living with a stranger. The visits that she would normally love to receive from her grandparents and the Lovegoods now felt strained and forced. They all wanted forgiveness…but just being around them was a constant reminder of what she had lost. She began sneaking off to Hermione’s house, feeling that it to be the only safe haven she had left.

            She closed herself off and sunk even deeper into her shell. In school she would rarely talk…she didn’t even fight back when Lauren and that flunky Rebecca would start into her. Hermione, not being able stand the taunts took up after Zora. She didn’t know all the details of what happened that but from what she could tell Zora found out something very big. She was dealing with something and until she got out her funk Hermione would be there to pick up the slack. Samson tried everything to get her to talk to him, like they used to but it seemed hopeless. Either she would talk about her time with Hermione or her time with Hermione and her father. It was either Mr. Granger said that or Mr. Granger was so funny when…Mr. Granger…Mr. Granger…MR. GRANGER. He was starting to resent the man. It was becoming more and more apparent when he would pick Zora from the Granger residence.

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            “ Dad, I’m losing her…and I can’t stop it. Everything I do seems to push her away.” Closer to Barnaby Granger.

“ I don’t know what to do…I thought…allowing her to stay at their house after school and sometimes on weekends would make her happy. She’s always talking about great it is over there…and she talks about Mr. Granger like he’s the second coming of Jesus. Dad what do I do?”

            “ Well it should be obvious of what you should do Samson. Regain control of your daughter. Remind her who’s the parent in this relationship. If she wants to be mad, then she can be mad here in her own house.” Reginald took a sip of his alcohol. The fire- whiskey burned down his throat. He made a small face and then looked to his son.

            This was going on for far too long. Zora was starting to forget who was in-charge and it was about time Samson took control again. The damage had been done months have passed since then and they were still in the same place as there were before. Something had to give. While Zora had not been down right disrespectful, the cold shoulder she was putting up could not be tolerated any longer. All she seemed to do any more was talk to the Granger girl and play with that hound. Reginald could accept the fact that things could not go back to the way they were. He wouldn’t have expected them to, but at the same time he would not allow for them to dissolve anymore than they’ve already have.

            “ You’re right, the way that she’s been acting is unacceptable. When she gets home…”

            “ No, go get her now. When is the last time that you two actually ate together? Hm?” Samson took a swig of his fire-whiskey. “ I thought so…well Samson you know what you have to do. Bring your daughter home, kicking and screaming if need be.”

            “ I doubt it will come to that…”

            “ Well you know what I mean. Don’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”

            Samson agreed with his father, on everything that he had said, but he could lie…he felt out of his element. Zora had never acted like this before. She had always been a relatively easy child, which was why he didn’t know how to go about dealing with this attitude. It was understandable, Samson thought to himself. Zora’s life it was changed, and she was trying to deal with it. Apparently, “dealing with it” for her meant not talking to him. It couldn’t go on. Closing people out did not help, he needed her to know that. Like father like daughter. Samson thought with a wry smile on his face, even now when Zora refused to interact with him, the similarity they shared was…comforting.

Finished off his glass and stood up, Samson excused himself and put on jacket. It was time to get his daughter back.

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         “ Zora?”

            “ No Hermione.”

            “ You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

            “ Yes I do, you were going to ask if I’ve forgiven my father yet and the answer is still the same.”

            “ Zora…”

            Zora continued playing with Luca’s hair. She didn’t want to talk about this. Actually she didn’t want to think about it. This was supposed to be a safe space. Where she could just…be. She refused to look at Hermione, she didn’t want to see the annoyed look on her face. They have been talking about this for months, and still hadn’t gotten anywhere.

            “ Hermione…you don’t understand. My whole life has been a lie…I don’t know how to be around them anymore.” They sat in Hermione’s room, still in their school uniforms. As soon as the got to Hermione’s house they ran up to her room and closed the door. Matilda and Barnaby were both a little worried; both girls had been become secretive. They decided not push the issue. They hoped that Hermione would say something to them if something was really wrong.

            “ Then help me Zora…help me to understand. I know that they weren’t exactly…”

            “ They lied Hermione. For my entire life they lied. She’s my mother. I deserve to know why she isn’t…here...with me. She’s supposed to be here!” Zora’s eyes flashed different colors but Hermione didn’t flinch. Luca whimpered a little and Zora calmed herself down. She began swallow back tears.

            “ She’s supposed to be here…with me and she isn’t. And I can’t do anything about it.” Tears welled up in her eyes, “And what’s worse, I had no clue…I didn’t question it, not once. What would she think of me Hermione? Her own daughter didn’t think much to ask.”

            “ Zora this isn’t your fault and isn’t your family’s either. Whoever…did that to your mum, they are to blame. They are the one you should feel angry at.” Hermione couldn’t stand to see Zora like this. Ever since they had come back from holiday she had been different. Withdrawn and rarely smiling, her aura (if Hermione believed in such a thing) radiated sadness.

            Hermione moved closer towards her weeping friend. She held on to her hand and squeezed it tightly. She didn’t know what else to do. How do you comfort a friend when you had no idea how to go about it? When you couldn’t relate? Hermione, for the first time in her life, felt utterly clueless. Her friend…her only friend was going through such a terrible ordeal and she could do nothing to stop it.

            “ Zora…you know I’ll always be here right? That I’m always going to be on your side.” She said it in such low tone. Almost like a whisper. Zora looked like she was ready to bolt. Seeing Zora, someone usually happy, so depressed scared Hermione a great deal. Would Zora ever be the same as she was before? Would she ever smile again?

            Zora didn’t say anything in return; she just nodded her head slowly. Hermione didn’t know if she was actually paying attention to her but she was willing take what she could get at the moment.

            “ Hey Zora, do you want to go downstairs and watch some movies? We have the Little Mermaid, your favorite. I know how you like to point out the inaccuracies. Maybe I can convince my mum if we can have some ice cream as well…would you like that?” Zora looked over to Hermione and managed a small smile. It was a start, Hermione thought. The beginning back to normalcy.

            So, hand and hand the girls went downstairs and prepared for their movie time.

They got their ice cream and sat on the couch in front of the TV watching the Little Mermaid. The girls had gotten through half the movie until there was a knock on the front door. Barnaby went to get the door and smiled gently.

            “ Hello Samson, here to collect Zora?” Samson gave him terse nod. Barnaby allowed him and he went into the living room.

            “ Zora, your father is here to pick you up sweetie.”

            “ But we haven’t finished the movie yet…”

            “ Well, maybe if you ask your dad he’ll let you stay and finish it out.” Barnaby may have been just a dentist but he was a father as well. He felt the disturbance between the father and daughter for a while. He tried to initiate conversation between the two before and got nothing. Still, that did not stop him from trying.

            Zora noticeably tensed up when she laid eyes on her father. Her face was blank and her voice was dead when she spoke to him.

            “ Father, I would like to finish the movie with Hermione.” Samson raised his eyebrow at her. It was obvious that she didn’t want to go at least not with him. Samson probably would have allowed her to stay if she had actually asked him properly, but she didn’t. Time to bring in the tough love.

            “ Zora it’s time to go, get your things please.” She sent him mildly dirty look and didn’t move from the couch.

            “ I want to finish the movie with Hermione.”

            “ Zora, I’m not going to debate this with you. Go get your things now.”

            “ No, I want to finish the movie first.”

            “ Zora Noel McQueen, you will watch your tone when you speak to me. Get your things this is instant. We are leaving.” He didn’t yell but Zora could tell that he was angry. There was a cold bite to his tone. Reluctantly, she placed the bowl beside her on the couch and got up. She gathered her things and walked past him, Luca trailing behind her.

            “ Say goodbye to the Grangers Zora. Don’t be rude.” She turned around and gave them a quick thank you and goodbye. Hermione gave her a little wave back. Samson gritted his teeth a bit but gave them tightly wound smile and went after her.

            Once they got outside, Samson gently grabbed her hand and disapparated off the sidewalk. When they got to the house, you could hear voices coming from inside. As soon as the door opened conversation instantly dropped. Zora had a feeling that she wouldn’t like what was about to occur next. The closer they got to the staircase that led to the bedrooms, a head popped out from the living room.

            “ Hello you two, dinner is ready come to the table when you’ve put down your things.” Gran ducked back into the living room. Samson and Zora did what they were told to do and entered the living room. The entire table was packed. The inner circle was there. The Lovegoods…Kingsley…and Reginald, they were all here. Yes, Zora definitely didn’t like the look of this.

            “ Actually, Gran I’m not feeling that hungry…”

            “ Zora, sit.” She pointed to an empty chair. She shuffled over to the empty seat, right next to Luna. She didn’t speak, she feeling a lecture coming on. She stared at her plate the entire time; she sensed that all eyes were on her. She never felt so uncomfortable. She felt like she was ensnared in a trap, and there was no way to escape.

            They all sat in silence unsure of what to say or how to react. The only sounds that were heard were the awkward movements of the silverware. Reginald, never one to like prolonged silences, cleared his throat drawing the attention of the table to him.

            “ Hello everyone, I’m glad that everyone could attend this dinner. It’s been some time since we have shared a meal.” 

            “ Dad…”

            “ The estrangement between all of us…needs to end.”

            “ And you are the one to decide this?” Zora muttered. She sunk into the chair. Any appetite she could have had was gone.

“ Zora, do you have something say?” 

 “ Oh no grandfather, continue please.” Zora said as sweetly as possible, but everyone could hear the vague sarcasm hidden just below the surface.

“ Yes, well…as I was saying before. This estrangement, and I believe that I speak for everyone when I say this, is something that needs to be rectified. We were all once so close…I would hate to see such friendship ruined over a mistake.”

A mistake…that’s what he thought? Zora thought in outrage. The initial anger she thought she had gotten over weeks ago hit her in the face like a slap. Dropping a glass of milk is a mistake. Forgetting your coursework at home was a mistake. But what happening on New Year’s eve was no mistake. The only mistake that was made was her blindly trusting those currently around her. It was obvious that they had no clue to the damage that they had done. More and more Zora’s eyes grew red, almost to blood crimson. The anger that kept boiling within her felt like it was going erupt at any moment.

“ I very much agree Reginald…this separation has been hard on all us…especially the children.” Solidad looked across from her, staring her dreamy little blonde. Ever since the party she grew more into herself. Solidad would notice her walk around the field…almost like in trance. The she would pay attention to the oddest things. She didn’t think much about it for the first few days…but now she didn’t know what do about it. When they had gotten the patronus, she didn’t hesitate to convince Xenophilius that it was a good idea to come.

“ This dinner was made to be a sort of peace gathering. A time for us all to get reacquainted with each other, much has happened in the last few months.” Grace motioned for people to eat. Soon there was clanking of silverware and people starting to eat…it all felt so wrong. The food that was on her plate didn’t draw her in like it used to. It was then that she felt the change. She noticed just how much she felt alone. It hurt to acknowledge it. Just another thing for her deal with somehow. Zora remained stuck in her own thoughts until Grace spoke again.

“ I’ve decided to take some time off traveling and do another passion of mine. Acting, well teaching the dramatic arts in any case. Herbert Beery, headmaster from the Wizard Academy of Dramatic Arts, asked me to join the faculty and I have accepted.” Happy noises and appreciative nods went around the table.

“ I was just talking to a friend I have in China, he was reminding me of the sites and how I haven’t visited in quite awhile and I was thinking…” This was ridiculous…

“…oh Reginald that sounds like a lovely idea…” They were all going about their business as if nothing had happened.

“…We never have been to China before….” It was like they were just trying to sweep it under the rug. Zora continued to clench her fist fits on her lap. It was outrageous; it was a scandal of the grandest sort.

“ Zora, darling wouldn’t you like to go to China? We’d go while you were off from that muggle school you attend of course…” Reginald asked Zora. For the entire dinner she hadn’t looked up to any one. She only stared at her plate, she felt it safer than any other option that was opened to her at the moment. A trip to China…that’s what they wanted to talk about? An insignificant trip when there something else that needed to be discussed.  

“Has everyone gone mental?! My mother…your wife…your daughter was murdered, and I just found about it only a few months ago. And instead of talking about that you all are talking about a stupid trip to China?!” Now the roots of her hair were starting to change color. A quickly darkening red.

“ Zora calm down…!” She looked at her grandfather and then let out a most mirthless laugh. Calmed down? Impossible. She knew that. The stares of confusion and sadness, it was all too much. She felt like she was going to explode. Or cry, maybe even both. She abruptly stood up from the table, she couldn’t handle being around them.

“ I would rather go into a field with a 1000 soul-thirsty dementors than go on a trip with any of you. At least with them I would know what to expect!” She began to stomp away, until her father

            “ Zora that is quite enough, I understand that you are still angry with us…”

            “ No, you don’t understand! You probably couldn’t even if you tried! All of you had time with her! All of you have solid memories of her! I don’t!” she looked to the grown ups around the table and then back to her father, “ All the stories you told me…you never spoke a word about the most important one. You didn’t trust me to handle it…”

            “ Zora…” In a calm voice, Samson tried to get closer to her but she wouldn’t allow it. “ There is so much more to it than you realize…what happened to your mother is something you shouldn’t have to know about yet.”

            The crimson red faded, instead of blue settled in. It hurt, oh how did hurt. She wanted to stay angry. She was still angry but the hurt became more and more predominant. She just wished it would stop. It felt like she would never be happy again. Anger, guilt, and sadness those were the only things that she felt that she was capable of feeling. For months, these debilitating emotions ate her. She couldn’t remember the last time she genuinely felt happy…laughed…smiled. It seemed so long ago. This war was killing everything that she held dear. She couldn’t deal with it anymore. Tears fell, she didn’t even bother to wipe them away.

            “ Dad…when did you think I’ll ever be ready to hear that mum was murdered? That she was stolen from me…you…Gran…and everyone else who loved her. I doubt that I’ll ever be ready to hear that.” The whole situation was tiring, and her voice reflected that. She turned away from him and the rest of group still sitting at the table looking at her.

            “ And to make it worse, I heard this all from someone whom I met at a party. Not my family, the ones I thought would be honest with me no matter what. I would’ve been devastated obviously, but at least I would still have had you all there with me. No one can hurt me more than you all…other people…they don’t matter. You all did...I don’t know where to go from here. All I know is that I can’t be the way I was and trying to push yourselves back into my life is only making things harder…more confusing…” She heard her voice wobble a bit. She couldn’t face them, or else she would really start to cry.

            “ Zora…”

            “ D-dad I can’t…maybe I was out of line a few times…but I don’t know how to handle this…any of this…I just don’t know how…” Zora ran from the room and to her bedroom. She closed the door and picked up the whimpering hound. Her mind was flooded with thoughts, emotions…mostly feelings of longing. All she wanted was her mother back, Zora slid down to the floor. She felt so low that she wondered if she would ever get back up again.

            “M-mother…” It felt like she was losing her for the first time. All she wanted to do was be where she was, to talk to her and hear her voice. No amount of illusion could help her now. She needed the real thing and she could never have it. She continued to sniffle with her back against her bedroom door.

            So lost in her sadness, she didn’t notice herself transport out of the room.

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            After the scene at dinner no one could get themselves to eat. Samson hadn’t moved an inch since Zora ran to her room. Her words repeated in his head like an echo.

            “…when did you think I’ll ever be ready to hear that mum was murdered?...I doubt that I’ll ever be ready to hear that.”

            He didn’t know what to do anymore. Nothing he could possibly do would fix this situation. He hated it, the feelings of helplessness. Zora finally spoke to him and it broke his heart. His daughter was hurt and didn’t trust him.

            “ Samson…it will be okay. She’s just in shock is all.”

            “ Everything’s so broken Grace…how will it ever be okay?”

            “ The wounds Zora has…they’re fresh. She’s trying to heal them. Tonight was a step in the right direction.” She got up from her seat and walked toward him.

            “ Not a day goes by that I don’t miss my daughter. When she died… I didn’t think that I could breathe again let alone smile. What Zora needs now is you. She’ll come to us when she’s ready. Tonight was a mistake.”

            “ I wouldn’t say that…” Grace shook her head, Reginald didn’t know to keep quiet.

            “ Reginald, ambushing her was a mistake. Trying to force an interaction was wrong. Clearly, she wasn’t ready for it.”

            “ And how else were we supposed to get close to her Grace?—“

            “ Reginald it’s been hard on all of us—“       

“ Enough.”  Samson spoke up. He needed to talk to Zora and that meant they couldn’t be here. “ I need some time alone with my daughter…”

“ Of course Samson…we’ll clean up here. Go to Zora.” Kingsley said calmly, no one tried to fight him on it. Samson shot him an appreciative look and made his way to Zora’s room.

He knocked on her door, and called for her. When he got no response he tried again. Still not getting a response, he cracked the door and his heart stopped. Zora wasn’t in the room! And neither was Luca.  He ran into the room and called her name frantically. The room looked as it did that morning. What in Merlin’s name could’ve happened? And then it him, apparition.

“ Fuck…” Samson swore under his breath. Samson ran down the stairs just in time to see the others were leaving.

“ Zora’s gone, so is Luca.”  He was thinking of all the places that she could’ve aparated to. The Granger’s, the school…

“ What do you mean she’s gone? Like she ran?” Reginald asked.

“ No, like she accidently aparated. She’s upset, it seems the most likely of occurrences. Her room was untouched. Look, we’re losing time. We have to go. NOW.”

“ Alright, mother stay with Luna incase she comes back, Reginald go to your house and see if she went there. Solidad, go to and check your house. Xenophilius and I will travel around—“

“And I will go to the Grangers.” It seemed like the most obvious of places.

“ Okay, if one of us finds her send a patronus.”

The group went outside and aparated into the night. Storm clouds were beginning to form. They needed to act quickly.

Samson landed right on to the Granger’s doorstep and banged on the door. Matilda was the one to open the door, she was about to give him a piece of her mind until she saw the look on his face.

“ Samson? What’s wrong?—“

“ May I please come in? I-I’d rather not talk about this outside.”

“ Of course,” she guided him into the living room and sat him down. “ Would you like something to drink, tea perhaps?”

“ No, thank you Matilda. I’m sorry to trouble you like this—“

“ Mattie, who was at the door? Samson, blimey what are you doing here? Is everything alright?” Zora wasn’t here, he could tell by their confusion. Fear clenched his heart like a bear trap.

“ Z-zora, she’s gone. We don’t know where she is. My family is out looking for her right now. I had hoped—“

“ That she was be here…I’m sorry Samson but Zora isn’t here.” Matilda said. She looked at her husband with worry. Samson got up from his seat and straightened out his clothes.

            “  Samson I could go with you, Matilda can stay with Hermione. I just put her to bed. So it wouldn’t be any trouble.” Samson didn’t think it was a wise idea. He would be much quicker on his own and he couldn’t afford to lose any more time. However he couldn’t raise suspicion, so reluctantly he accepted the man’s offer.  As the left the house, Samson sent out a silent prayer.

            Cecile, please watch over our girl…I can’t lose her too.

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When Zora looked up she noticed that she was outside, she wiped her eyes and looked around. She surrounded by statues…winged-hooded figures and tombstones. A cemetery, that much was obvious. Getting a closer look at the statues she knew that she was a wizard cemetery.  She let Luca fall from her arms as got to her feet. On guard Luca transformed into his second stage. While he was vigilant, she knew that there was nothing to fear. Not here. The stone hooded figures…they were the Guardians of the Fold. They were wards that kept muggles from finding out about wizards even in death. Legend had it they were around since the time of Merlin maybe even before that. Witches and wizards were taught from a very young age not to fear the Guardians. They were revered as the connectors between the living and the dead. When in their presence, feelings of warmth and fond memories of the deceased fill the person, at least that was supposed to happen. Zora had no actual memory of her mother. All she that she felt was emptiness.

Why was she here? How was she here? The last thing she remembered was sitting on the floor of her room. And now she was in a cemetery. The only possible reason she could think of, “ Mother…”

The moment she said the word, a pair of stone eyes lit up down the lane. She slowly made her way to the glowing statue. She looked at the inscription on the tombstone.

Cecile Amelia McQueen

April 18, 1960-December 31, 1981

Beloved Daughter, Friend and Mother

          Death is not the End

            Zora didn’t make a sound or shed a tear. She just stood there and looked at the tombstone. Her mother was buried here. In this very spot, it was a lot to take in. Zora bent down on to her knees and laid beside the grave.

            “Hello mother, I’ve missed you. Everyday. I’m sorry…for everything but I’m here now. I-I love you.” The grass was soft under her, Luca was right next to his mistress cutting off some of the cool air breezing through. Zora closed her eyes soaked in the moment. Her mother was here. Did she know? That her baby girl was laying next to her? Her Gran had always told her that no one in the world could love a little girl more than her mother. That the love between a mother and child was so strong, nothing could break it. It was an unbreakable bond.

            “ I need you mother…I know you’re faraway but…” She began to sniffle. “I guess it doesn’t matter now.” She heard Luca begin to whimper. She sat up and crossed her legs. Luca put his large head on her lap and licked her hand. Zora gave him weak smile and petted him on the head. She looked back towards the statue and noticed that its eyes were still glowing.

            “ I just wish that I could talk you…just once. If I could hear your voice it would be enough…”  There was rumbling where the statue stood. Luca became to growl, his hair on the back of his neck started to stand on end. Zora didn’t know what was going on. The statue…it was moving. Its hands unfolded and fell to its sides. Its wings extended into the air. Its mouth opened.

            “ Zora…my sweetling.”

            “M-mother?!”