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Italicized means flashback.





Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


When they took him away from us I didn't shed a tear. Not one. From a young age I had mastered control over most of my face, except for the lips. People say that your eyes are the windows to your soul, but mine don't give away a thing. My face was twisted into a dark scowl that Darius would chastise me for. He couldn't now. I wish he could. 

Darian cried like a baby. Her body just went limp as they read off the verdict and she fell on top of me. Luckily I had predicted such behavior and was able to grasp her slender body and hug her. She wrapped her arms around me and nestled her head in the crook of my shoulder as her knees gave out. As she cried on my shoulder I could hear her mutter curses and gibberish into my ear. This was typical Darian behavior that was amplified by ten due to the circumstances. I held her close, but I could not tear my eyes away from Darius as they placed the handcuffs on him. I willed him to look into my eyes one more time, he knew that I wouldn't look away, but he didn't dare look back at Darian or I. If he did the mask of indifference he wore would surely fall. 

"Alright girls I think it's time to go." The court appointed social worker said putting her hand on Darian's shoulder. I gave her my meanest glare and dragged Darian away from her offending hand. ‘How dare she interrupt! He's not gone yet!' I thought angrily turning my eyes back to Darius who was shuffling towards a door that would lead him to a place where I could not follow him. 

Sometimes he would cry at night and no one knew, not even Darian. I could hear him in the room that I shared with Darian and I would get up and bring him a cool glass of water from the sink. He would never open his eyes, but he would go back to sleep when I hummed a tune as I rubbed his back.  Sometimes he would even take a sip of the water, but his eyes would never open. We would never talk about it, but I knew he appreciated it. I knew Darius loved me.

He was my big brother and my best friend. 

When the kids at school made fun of the clothes I wore Darius took me shopping so I would stop walking around the apartment with a poked out lip. When I showed up the next day with my new clothes the kids found something else to tease me about, but I didn't care anymore. I had a smile on my face the whole day. My big brother had brought me clothes and that mattered more than their jeers. That's what type of person they were locking away in a prison with men who killed, raped and stole. Darius who had took in his two sisters with different fathers and the same whore of a mother when others wouldn't. Darius that didn't finish college, but every single night he would make time to go over my math homework. Darius who only sold on the side so he could make sure we had hot water. 

My scowl softened as the door closed behind them and people started to shift around in preparation for the next case. One woman reached into her bag and handed me a tissue to give to Darian and nodded her head with a look of sympathy. What was that supposed to do for me? She didn't know that he wasn't guilty and she didn't care! No one cared about the crime that was being committed today. Darius was another black male that wasn't given the chance to do more. He did the best with what he had and even that wasn't enough. It was never enough. My scowl returned.

This time when the social worker walked toward us, I met her eyes with a steely gaze before she could utter any words. In that look we came to an agreement and I made my way toward her dragging Darian with me. What choice did I have? I was an eight year old girl that had lost half of her family in less than an hour.

"Stop crying Darian." I whispered in my older sister's ear and gently took her hands and pushed her up into a standing position. She continued to whimper, but she took the tissue and started to dry her face.  Her other hand still held mine and she looked at me for direction. I gently pulled her towards the social worker that was waiting for us with a gentle smile.  I looked away from her and looked back at the door that had taken Darius to a place where I could not follow.

I only wondered who would hum for Darius in prison.

______________________7 Years Later_________________________

Out of all of the arguments they had I think this one was the worse.  But Darian had another year here so I guess that means it is currently the worse argument at the moment. More would come, I'm sure.

"Why are you doing this?" Darian's light brown eyes seemed impossibly large as she attempted her best ‘doe' eyed look. Darian could be real sweet when she wanted to be so manipulating people came easy to her, but there was a select few that couldn't be fooled. Even though Darian had an amazing body I still believe that people look at her eyes before noticing the rest of her. Her large almond eyes had thick eyelashes and matching beauty marks in the outer corners of both eyes were mesmerizing.

"Everyone's not out to ruin your life Darian. If anything I am trying to provide you with a better one." Ms. Mary's dark brown eyes showed annoyance, but she hadn't raised her voice yet. She had just gotten home from work and still had on her baby blue and cream maid's uniform. She looked tiered, but her mouth was in a stern line that meant she definitely was not backing down. She was a petite thing standing at 5'3 and 120 pounds, but that wouldn't stop her from coming after Darian's 5'8 frame.

"By taking everything away from me! That is better!" So Darian decided to start the yelling, not surprising.

"I am not trying to take everything away from you. There's a better life for us in Washington. There‘s nothing here for you!"

"My life is here. I belong here!" And she starts up the waterworks. So the mascara is not waterproof. Interesting.

"There's nothing good here!" Ms. Mary's voice is getting a tad higher. She could still be pushed a little more I think. 

"Well I am good here!"

"Your grades are horrible how do you expect to get into a good school. You will have to provide for yourself one day!" The breaking point!

"I want to go to cosmetology school so my grades are just fine. I told you that! This is just about LeRon! You don't like me dating him, but you can't keep us apart!" I wondered when LeRon would show up.

"That hoodlum! I'm not going to let that boy ruin you!" Ms. Mary put down her bag and walked closer to Darian till she was directly in front of her. Ms. Mary had never hit us, but today might be the day for new starts. Darian looked down on her with her arms crossed and her pouty lips in a scowl.

"He loves me he has always loved me! When are you going to see it?" 

"You don't know anything about love child. You don't even love yourself parading your goods for that grown man. You should be ashamed."

"I am not ashamed of how I feel!" I let a snort slip out and Ms. Mary glanced back at me. I couldn't make out what the look meant, but I knew had better not make another noise.

"You should be!"

"I will never be ashamed of our love!"

"Love! That is rape and since I love you so much I will save you from the situation that you put yourself in."

"Why do you hate me so much?" 

At this point Mary our foster mother looks over at me and we both sigh simultaneously.

As much as I love Darian she can be a bit of a brat when she sets her mind to it. I had told Mary that we should just start packing and then stuff her in the car. Of course no one listens to me so now Darian is trying to make her escape. With every sentence she managed to get closer to the door and Mary was falling behind due to the height difference. Darian ends up making a run for it. Mary tried to grab her, but she was already out the door and on her way to his house.

Name: LeRon Davis

Age: 25

Hair: Black (Fade)

Eyes: Dark Brown

Like: Darian, Making Money and Video Games

Dislikes: Punk Bitches (His words not mine), Police and Mary

Overall: Bad News

Darian had the misfortune of hitting puberty at a young age, which is something that is prominent among young black females. Before puberty no one had paid attention to her. No one except LeRon.  At the time LeRon was a young man of twenty who should have found better things to do than a thirteen year old girl. But luckily for LeRon puberty hit Darian at the supple age of fourteen and he was the envy of many young men and no longer a pervert, to some people. Now at seventeen Darian was the talk of the town. When they first met he was a lowly drug runner with dreams and boy did Darian love dreams. ‘He only sells to get out of here Daze, just like Darius.' For that comment I didn't talk to her for a whole week. This clown was nothing like Darius with his flashy clothes, cell phones and cars all plural. As far as ‘selling to get out' goes LeRon has managed to become to become a drug handler. Talk about dreams.

Mary had pulled out a pitcher of tea and two glasses. She set one in front of me and poured till the tea almost overflowed... "I forgot the ice." She said somberly and went back to the kitchen. Mary only forgot things when she was sad. 

Mary a forty something year old Ghanaian woman did not know what she was getting into when she adopted us. A bible thumping, no sick days or nonsense type of gal was who we had the pleasure of dealing with daily. Besides all that Mary was really cool and has encouraged me and funded all of my educational endeavors.  Unfortunately Darian had managed to break almost every rule, but she was working on it. She had five rules in her house and that was it.

1. Any 'child' living in her house must be go to school. 

2. No boys are allowed in the house unless Mary was present. 

3. We must attend church every Sunday unless we were sick. (She would be the judge of what sick was) 

4. No after school activities unless Mary approved of them. 

5. No bad language or disrespect. (Same as sick days)

Mary and I got along and she even let me visit Darius on the weekends. But now even I was dreading the move away from Darius and everything I have ever known.  Darian and I had been raised here and even though there were plenty of bad memories there were also good ones. I didn't really care for anything else here, but Darius had become the center and purpose of everything that I do. 

There's not much of a comparison between Miami to Washington. The two cities are on the opposite sides of the spectrum and I definitely didn't enjoy cold weather. I knew that Mary had gotten a job offer to work for the government and that in itself could get us out of the shady neighborhood we lived in, but I couldn't imagine being away from Darius. I always relied on him to be there when everything seemed out of control and there was no one to talk to. I had never really thought about it before, but I didn't try to associate myself with anyone besides Darius, Darian and Mary. Mary knew this so she had us go together to visit him.

After the thirty minute drive there in silence and no phone call from Darian my nerves were on end. I was annoyed at the ten minute check in procedure that they insisted on enforcing. Darius was at the window when I got there and he looked good. Sometimes he didn't look so good.  He looked up and smiled and told me he was happy that I was able to get out of here and do good things. I guess Mary had called ahead. He joked around about me maintaining good grades and not messing with any big headed boys. At that point my lip began to pucker out and I felt a scowl coming on, Darius gave me a weak grin.

"Just thirteen more years baby girl. Maybe less if I keep up the good behavior. That's it and then we‘ll be a family again." He started every conversation with the same phrase, but this time it only managed to annoy me.

"I know. If anyone knows I know. I just can't believe that your taking this so easily Darius. I need you I...."

"Daizan you don't need me girl, in fact you don't need anyone. Even when you were a baby you only tolerated me, because I had the food." He laughed. My scowl deepened. 

"It's not funny. I do need you I just have to be pretend I don‘t. If I didn't I would end up like Darian, stupid as hell over some damn boy. If that happens..."

"Don't talk about your sister like that girl." His eyes were narrowed and I bowed my head like a little girl. I was annoyed that he cut me off, but I also knew he didn't like me saying any negative things about Darian.

"I'm sorry, but it's true! She doesn‘t even come visit you!"

"Maybe some of it is, but I want you to love your sister. She is a piece of you and you are a piece of her and yall need each other. And you know how Darian feels about prisons." He paused for a moment and took a deep breath. "I made some decisions girl and I know you don't like to hear it, but it's true I made my bed baby girl and now I have to lie in it."  My head snapped up and my charcoal eyes filled with fury. 

"That's not true! You didn't have a choice! It's their fault Darius! Not yours!" I cried feeling a sting in my eyes, but I ignored it. I will never blame Darius for what he did so we could survive. He may have damned himself for it, but I sure didn't.

"Regardless I want you to go and don't give Ms. Mary a hard time. That lady is a saint and I know Darian's bad ass has been causing some issues. That girl is a handful. Always the drama queen, she could be actress." He chuckled again with a faraway look in his eye. Darius has always been a dreamer. He would always tell us of his dream to become a writer and then we would move out of the projects and have a better life. Darian loved to hear about his dreams and she would always beg him to tell her a story about something he dreamed up. Even now that girl still had her head in the clouds. She was a dreamer just like Darius. Maybe that's how she ended up with LeRon and his dreaming ass.

I wasn't a dreamer.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked when I grew tired of the glazed look in his hazel eyes,

"How it will be when I get out of here.  Of course you know I'm going to have to live with you at first baby girl. I know you'll be some hot shot judge by then, but I know you'll make some room for your big bro. I am guessing that Darian will have two or three little ones running around the place, it will be nice being an uncle. I always wanted to write a kids book. Just thinking about that reminds me of when you were a baby with your mean self. Who everyone said they had never seen a meaner baby." This time when he chuckled and I joined in. I don't think that I was that mean.
Ms. Mary didn't live to far from our old apartment so I would occasionally run across people from the old neighborhood. Everyone would go on and on about how mean I was if they happened to recognize me, which was very often. I suppose I haven't changed much since I was a baby. I was constantly being reminded by Darian to watch my scowl so I wouldn't have such an ugly face.

‘You have some lips for day's girl and when you make those faces I remember why you don't have a boyfriend.' Then she would turn around and complement my almond shaped eyes with ‘perfectly' arched eyebrows. Bitch. I was a little annoyed with my nose the focal point of my face. While it was cute as a button it had a small brown ‘beauty mark' on the tip that brought unwanted attention to my face. I also liked to claim that I was of the chestnut shade, but lately I've been noticing that I am hovering on butterscotch. I love butterscotch or just candy in general. I wish I had some candy now.

"I won't be able to see you often, but I'll write every day."

"Well I you won't write every day, but I appreciate you girl. You know how to make a brother feel good."

"Lame." I moaned as Darius started up with his chuckles. I guess he made a new friend that he had told me about last week was a comedian. I wondered if you could get put in prison for bad jokes with a slight smile on my face. 

"Whatever that one was pretty good since I'm your brother and all." His eyes focused on me and his gaze became somber. I straitened in my seat and leaned in closer to the so my forehead touched the glass while I held the phone tightly.

"Don't you stop doing what is right. It is who you are Daizan and even though it is hard to be on the strait and narrow, but I know you can do it. Just listen to Ms. Mary and don't listen to Darian. But whatever happens know that Darian and I have your back and we will support you. Don't use me as a reason to fail in Washington. You made it this far on yourself and you'll go the distance." 

"I know I will I just wish..."

"I know baby girl I know." We sat in silence for a few minutes. I always tried to be lighthearted since Darius was so empathetic, but today it was harder. But he was right as usual ad I knew that I could not give up my dreams just because he was not easily accessible. Darius was my dream. I wanted to be a judge after seeing his trail and also other trails of boys from my neighborhood. I was a frequent visitor in the courthouse. I was fascinated by the judges and lawyers that did not seem to care for the people that they should ultimately try and help. Of course not every lawyer and judge was apathetic, but when it came to black males it seemed as if they thought of them as lost causes.  There was so many injustices happening in the community that were left untouched by the men of law. While the head drug dealers that lived in nice houses in good white neighborhoods were free to go about there day unafraid of jail while the lowly peons like my brother were boxed in with no choice but to do their dirty work. 

Sometimes I would try and talk to Darian about it, but the attempted conversation would be ruined when Darian accused me of having a ‘chip' on my shoulder. ‘You can't blame white people for everything.' She would say not understanding the bigger issue. I blamed the whole system of twisted justice that did not count circumstances or lack of opportunities in the codes of law. It was something so big and corrupt that thinking about it would give her a headache.

"I love you Darius."

"Back at cha baby girl."

__________________7 Years Later________________

"All I am saying is that when I smell meat it makes me noxious."

"Really though the walls. Amazing." I knew that she could hear the sarcasm in my voice, but she still maintained her sunny disposition.

"When I go outside yes I can. I am not saying it's you alone, but I do smell it from here. I am going to visit all of our neighbors to have this talk. I hope you don't feel like I am singling you out." 

Name: K (Yes really that's my birth name) Hawkins

Age: 22

Hair: Light Brown (Corkscrew Curls)

Eyes: Hazel

Like: Apple Martini's, Animals and Wii Fit

Dislikes: Meat, Karaoke and Beer

Overall: My closest friend?

K was starting to get on my nerves rather quickly. I'm not usually bothered by the weird issues and things that the girl did, but today I am just in a mood.

"Look K I really don't think that I am going to adjust my meat intake based off of the conversation we are having now. When I cook I will try to remember to put a towel around the door." I said starting to close the door, but to my annoyance she put her hand to block me from doing just that.

"What's wrong Daizan? I really didn't mean to put a damper on your mood." I felt the annoyance drain from me and I felt a little twinge of guilt for my thoughts earlier. K wasn't a bad girl. She was actually the closest thing to a friend I have ever had. She was one of the few girls of color in my pre-law and by few I mean one of four that included myself as well. She was always upbeat and willing to team up with me for a project or just studying. Even though she sometimes appeared to be somewhat of a space cadet she was very passionate about the same things I was passionate about. Mainly the corruptness of the government, but for some different reasons. My goals the rights of certain humans. K's goals, equality for all animals, free love and flowers. Well her goals are probably might be more serious...maybe.

"Sorry K I guess it's just...nothing." I couldn't tell her. I hate when people pity me.

"Please tell me Daizan if not I will worry all night." I didn't doubt that one bit and against my better judgment I told her.

"Today's my birthday. It's just been a lame day." Lame didn't begin to cover the day. For one it was a dreadfully cold day in April and I hadn't dressed appropriately. I had a big test in my criminal justice class that I busted my ass studying for which yielded no fruit. I received at the C- in disgust while admiring the A that K somehow managed to get. And to top it off I didn't get the office job that I wanted so I have to come up with some money elsewhere to pay for my loans.

"Your birthday! Why didn't you tell me! I am taking you out right now!" I cringed, because I figured she would say something like that. K was a person that was easily excitable. She actually reminded me of my older sister. My older sister really annoys me.

"Look K I am tiered and..."

"It's only ten. Look I won't keep you out past one. Besides we only have two classes tomorrow and those are a breeze. I will even take the notes." I had to admit that K did take great notes and my advanced debate class was my easiest class of the year.

"I don't.....what are you doing?" I asked annoyed again as K brushed past me and made her way into my apartment. She headed strait to my room and begrudgingly I closed my door so I could follow her. She was quick on her feet and headed straight for my closet since our rooms had the exact same layout, I was to slow to stop her.

"You don't party much. Hum....you could wear one of my tops....mmm how tall are you again?" I rolled my eyes and pulled out my desk chair so I could relax as she ripped my closet to shreds.

"5'9" I said smiling. I was proud of my height. In high school I had managed to catch the eyes of one of the dance instructors. Being on the dance team was never one of my high priority goals so by my junior year I quit, but I was grateful for how I came into appreciating the height since that made me feel so uncomfortable in middle school. I have clumsy moments, but I must say I do wear might height well. It was also great on my high school resume since I hated real sports. Some would take offense to calling dance a pretend sport, but at my school we hardly stretched let alone worked out in preparation for a performance.

"Not to be rude, but I don't want your boobs stretching out my good tops. We need to take you shopping girl, you dress like you're already a lawyer."

"Got to look the part." I said jokingly, but inside I was a little hurt. I had always thought that I was tasteful and fun with the clothes I picked out.  Turtle necks and sweaters in a variety of colors are fun in my book.

"That you do....ooh...what is this? I like it!" I glanced up to see what she was talking about and I felt a groan coming on. It was a dark denim jumper that Darian had brought me last year for my twentieth birthday. The outfit was scandalous, which was why I had put it the back of my closet. I scowled at the heart shape neckline with thin straps. It had a built in bodice, which had been the only part of the outfit I actually liked. I assumed that it would go to mid-thigh since I had never tried it on and I didn't plan to now.

"No. It's thirty degrees outside."

"You have a jacket and boots. This would look great with some sandals, but....hum...I think I have some boots that could work." She walked up to me and pressed the jumper against me smiling.

"I don't think this is going to work. Maybe something..." I got out my chair brushing her to the side as I rummaged through my closet. Aha!

"This!" I held up a turquoise turtleneck that hugged my figure modestly and some dark denim skinny jeans. I already knew which flats I could pair with the ensemble. An impish smile appeared as I imagined how tasteful I would look in this getup. I scowled at the denim that seemed to shrink every time I looked at it. There's no way I could fit into that maybe I could wear the boot cut jeans.

"That's...safe."

I scowled.

"Seriously Daizan it's a nice outfit... really, but it's your birthday and that's a special day. I think every girl deserves to look beautiful on their birthday and prom...oh and wedding day." Her eyes drifted off into space and I threw visual daggers at her. What was she trying to say? Did she think I looked ugly? The nerve.

As if she read my thoughts K awoke from la la land and gave me a huge smile. "You know your beautiful, but that outfit say's ‘I'm safe' and this one says ‘I'm so bad you want me'" I was deeply disturbed by the deep voice she chose to use.

"Ok." I give up what's the point and no harm could come from going out. I hadn't done it since Darian had came down last year and took me on a shopping spree with her blood money. Yuck! I don't want to think about that.

"Great! Well I am going to go and get dressed. I want you to do the same. I'll be back with the boots." She was so happy it was a little infectious. She proceeded to do the cha cha slide out of my apartment and I broke into a smile. I could definitely be a 'half full' type of person as K put it so tonight I would try to fill the glass. I guess it didn't hurt too much to have a friend. For now.  I decided to take a shower and the whole time I tried to convince myself that I was only doing this to get K off my back. It wasn't working. I wrapped a towel around my face and turned on my flat iron. I wanted to get my hair out of the way before K got back. I knew she would start hounding me about becoming natural, but that wasn't a step I was ready to take.

‘Although I must admit that it looks good on K.' I thought envisioning her light brown curls sprouting out all over her head like a lions mane. ‘To bad my hair wouldn't look like that.' I thought with a bit of envy. K was bi-racial and had the wonderful skin and hair to prove it. When I thought about it I realized that Darian had the same hair and skin. ‘I'm the one who got the bum stick.' Boo.

I un-wrapped my hair and combed it out so it hung loosely around my face. I had to admit that I did have nice hair even if it wasn't natural. My dark silky strands went a little past my shoulder blades. I used my fingers to comb out my left side bang so that it hung besides my eye, but not over it. This is the same look that I had since middle school, but I liked it. I didn't bother with any make up. The only person that would be able to advise me on it was Darian and I wasn't about to call her. Instead I put on some pink tinted lip gloss and glared at the acne spot on the left side of my forehead that I used my hair to cover. Boo again.

Stepping out of the shower I dried off and then lotion my legs. I glanced at the clock and saw that it read 10:30. ‘A few minutes my ass' I thought putting on the jumper. It was a bit snug going over my thighs, but I managed to zip the zipper under my arm pit with minimal effort. I have never been a little girl like Darian, but I think most of my fat went to my best features. Meaning my ass, hips, thighs and boobs. I like my sweets. I'm a thick girl. It panned out that way.

A knock on my door at 11 on the dot signaled K's late arrival, but she looked nice. Her hair was pulled back into a loose high ponytail with small ringlets framing her heart shaped face. She had on dark red pencil skirt with a royal purple V-necked shirt with puffed short sleeved. In her hand she held a mustard yellow clutch. I cringed at the sleeves, but didn't say a word as I put on the heelless boots. At 5'5 K stayed in wedges her heel of choice. She on dark grey ones with a closed toe knot design. Interesting.

"Ok let's go. I checked the website and a live band is playing tonight. Don't know much about the band, but I know the place is going to be packed tonight." A lot of people. Yay. Sarcasm.

"You driving?"  I asked locking my door and hurriedly zipping up my trench coat. She nodded jingling her keys to her ford explorer and I smiled. I liked her car way better than my piece of shit.

"Daizan you are going to have the best night ever! This bar is the best! I actually found it on my birthday and now I am giving the gift to you. That and free drinks courtesy of muah!"  I didn't bother telling her I wasn't a real drinker. I occasionally like a nice white wine to help me fall asleep, but besides that one glass every other night I didn't drink. Telling K this would only result in another challenge and I am clearly failing already at opposing her.

"Thanks a lot." I said surprised at the sincerity in my voice. I didn't do sincerity. She hopped into the driver's seat and smiled.

"Did I mention the band members looked hot?" One track mind.

 

 






Chapter End Notes:

This is my first upload of something that isn't fanfiction or supernatural. Please let me know what you think and forgive me for any errors.







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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.