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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


 

 

From my cushy leather sofa,  I observe the hopping crowd of celebs and other important folk, laughing, imbibing, chowing down on gourmet bar aps, waiting to be seated, scoping, mingling, cheesing for the pap and hooking up.  Everyone seems happy, especially my wait staff who would be taking home a fuckofalot more tips than normal.  This Friday night is extra jumping in light of the MTV Music Awards that has brought in a lot West Coast well knowns.

 

Musically, my Flashback Friday is hitting it as well. The multimillion dollar customized sound system is making heads bob, lips sync, necks roll, and fingers snap because FloRida is explaining how low Shawty’s Apple Bottom jean clad-ass could go in boots with fur.  I could have chosen to showcase the nominee playlist like I had in years past knowing many of them would hit up my joint and even give an impromptu performance, but this year, I am not the mood. And, I am not in the mood for my normal meet, greet, how the fuck are you, long time no see smoozing bullshit. What I am in the mood for is to be fucked. Hard.

 

But, actually, I am more or less trying to concentrate on anything else to avoid listening to Girl bitch about how long it has been since she has had dick (which I agree) to anyone who would listen and Wisdom bitch back at Girl reminding her that she has no sense when it came to dick, hence the reason her shit has been shut down.  Wisdom’s sanctimonious bullshit has grown old by the way.  And Honey, well Honey, just remains her apathetic self and lets these two go at it and continues lamenting. Couldn’t do anything about that.  But her violin shit has grown old too.

 

Those aforementioned are really not people, just parts of me that I have personified. My muses, my bitches, that take turns running, rejoicing and ruining my life.  

 

Wisdom, that’s my mind/brain child.  She runs shit by virtue of what she has been created to do, run shit. Now I will brag, along with the running of shit, she has mad skills that has that has made her  an exceptional business woman running exceptional restaurants.  Cerulean is proof of that. Also, she is a fierce good leader and has the trust and respect of her staff.  Damn smart. Has some Midas's touch   in her. Remarkably strong and just overall goddamn amazing. While at times she pisses me off, royally, she impresses the fuck out of me with how well and gracefully she maneuvers in practically any situation and through life. However, she admits that her biggest mistakes and main regrets in life were TM and TMOML. To help her get past and over it,  I would remind her every now and then, and still do,  that in order to get you and draw you in, the Devil never presents his intentions on the front end, he comes to light only when it’s too goddamn late and you are too hooked to make any kind of move to get away and sometimes, you don’t even want to. I would also remind her that both motherfuckers were a collective choice.     

Now my Girl, my pussy, she has a baaad predilection for dick, especially when it is connected to a tall, tattoed and muscled-packed motherfucker (my general reference to men, get use to it or move on to something a little more genteel) who could lay the pipe well and rearrange her plumbing. She creams extra for body piercings. I blame TMOML for that add on.  Since I started fucking at sixteen (gave it up to the hot stable boy), Girl and I have had numerous kind of fucks including one-night stands, need-to-fuck for a grade, need-to-show a bitch up, Mr. Right Now, just “becauses” and rebounds.  Girl wasn’t about getting love, she was about getting off. And Lord, like a nagging ass mother, she  constantly has to and loves bring up the two times we allowed Honey to take the lead and get all emotional and shit, two times shit got fucked up, which reaffirmed Girl’s commitment to want to fuck without giving a fuck.  

 

As I speak and mentioned,  Girl is pissed at me because I gave into Wisdom and put her on hiatus because of the trouble with her “fuck without giving a fuck buck wild ways.”  This dick-free existence is the result of an escalating self-destructive lifestyle that damned near ended us all.  About six years ago, Girl and I and even Honey, went fucking crazy, literally that landing us in E.R.  So along with we-are-not-playing-with-your-grown-ass-any more parental insistence working in cahoots with Wisdom, I stopped the coke, eventually the wild sexing.  That took some time, four years actually and a few fuck marks that turned out to be permanent. Yeap, I like it on the rough side as you will experience.

 

Honey. Sweet, wonderful, loving idealistic, now timid Honey. My heart and my soul.   After the horrific emotional beating that she took from TMOML that left her fragmented, Honey spent a little over two years in CIUC in a self-induced coma that allowed her to knit herself back together the best that she could; stayed on bed rest to figure out what the fuck to do; and started therapy, pulling rows to numb and manage the pain.  

 

When she finally chose to speak, her words were direct, deliberate and damning.  Honey warned me that she would never again trust any of us with our choices in motherfuckers, no matter how well he could fuck, eat pussy, or spank ass.  Wisdom tried to reason and even take up for Girl, a fucking new one, saying that none of us had anticipated what would happen and that she was being an inconsiderate bitch. That we all wanted the man of our dreams and the HEA, but sometimes shit just happen and we cannot give up.

 

Honey shrugged, laughed coldly and confronted Wisdom about why she was carrying around all that damn guilt because she knew some shit wasn’t right and that it was her job to speak up, out and put the brakes on with both damn relationships when she knew something was up.  Honey reminded us that she was the “I am the hopeful one to see past all people shit, be patient, kind, bottomless, devoted. Not resentful. Judgmental. Be forgiving.  Optimistic. Idealistic. All the stuff that a heart, soul and love are suppose to do.  It isn’t my job to pick up on how cruel and merciless people could be! That would diminish what I was designed to be and why I beat!  But fucking ironically, I am diminished somewhat anyway. So with that in mind, I need to focus on running a system with what is left of me No more distraction like  falling in love and going after that elusive HEA.  I am done. Because if I were to be ever be hurt the way he hurt me, none of us would survive, because I would give up.”

 

I remember sighing, then accepting that my Honey, our cheerleader, our balm, our encourager, our light and life force had given up finding the HEA.  Having what my parents had and other couples that I see madly in love for years. That would no longer be anything that I could aspire to.  Honey’s scars were too deep. And, I couldn’t blame her.  After all, I promised her that I would never put her on love’s battlefield again, unless I was sure of a win after TM beat us all down, literally, and damn near eroded Honey’s trust in humanity.  TM had been our first time out genuinely testing love. And that was a trial run that we failed at miserably. TMOML had been hope and restoration for all of us, or at least we thought.

 

After several days of evaluating Honey’s declaration,  ole selfish Girl, she used it as an opportunity to fuck without commitment and I signed on.

 

So you have a synopsis of what I deal with.  Kind of fucking schizoid.  But we all have body parts that move, motivate, guide us, those are mine.  I really didn’t see life like that until I once had a motherfucker bring it to my as attention as he told me that my mind, my pussy and my heart made him a better man, brought sanity to his fucked up world, and made him believe in the HEA. The sad part was that we all believed him. We all fell hard for him would have had a Thelma and Louise moment with him. Yeap, it was that damn real and deep, at least for us, it had been. TMOML, total fucking Trojan horse.

 

I shake my head as if to push away thoughts and warring body parts and eye what has stepped into the lounge.  

 

At Vanderbilt, I majored in World Literature because it had more male professors than any other department and considering that I didn’t really want to go to Vandy for undergrad, I was a fucking legacy, I rationalized that I may need to fuck or give a blow job to graduate because I just wasn’t into going to class.  It worked well in boarding school, so how would college be any different, I assumed at the time. I was correct, motherfuckers were easy. 

 

Although I hated the whole Vandy scene as well my major, the most interesting class I took was a world religions where we got all into mythology.  I wrote a paper on the prominent sex gods, got an A and fucked the hot grad assistant teaching as a thank you.  I say all that because this motherfucker who just graced my place and presence embodied all those gods of fucking.  He is the Buddhist Rāgarāja, the Chinese Yue-Lao, the Egyptian Bes, and the whole Grecian gang of Erotes. Many others begin to flip through my head as I watch the eye candy and his swagger go the bar and plop his ass on cushioned bar stool. 

 

My two fighting bitches shut the fuck up as they hone in on what has captured my attention and holds me spellbound. Girl responds with a throb and a gush of girl cream that soaks my panties. I hear Wisdom shout “Motherfuck.”  And I feel Honey’s beat quicken.  That shit has  only happen twice before.  Which meant that I would be fucking soon, if not tonight and with that, I will be heading down a rabbit hole.

 












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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.