I had laid there in the same spot for three days. Refreshing my system with tears until even they dried up. The tears had done nothing to alleviate the ache in my chest.

“Xaen, you are required to eat.” The guard commanded, peering in at me. But I had no words to give her. I could smell the stench from my body but somehow the pain weighed far greater. 

“You took everything from me.” I instead replied, turning empty eyes onto the door. 

“Now you wish me to eat.” 

“Xaen,”

“If that’s what you want, I’ll eat. I’ll eat until I vomit. Then will you be satisfied?” 

“We will send for you a meal.” A bitter laugh escaped my throat. Xaen. What good will you do if you are like this? I froze. The voice of my husband traveled through the airwaves. I grew still, nibbling on her lips. Alas, in a circumstance like this, he would say something like that. Keep focused on the mission ahead. If you don’t eat, you have no energy. It was strange, to feel comforting waves flood my spirit. Gael…

Turning on my side, I closed my eyes. I wanted to remember the good..the laughter shared…the freedom we once had in a world where no freedom existed. 

***

“Mama!” Small hands reached out for her. She smiled and gently grabbed the hands. 

“What are you doing?” The little boy grinned, the spitting image of his father. 

“Papa took me for a ride.” 

“Ah, did you have fun?” 

“Yes.” 

“Good. Are you hungry? Surely, you’ve been riding with Papa for a little while.” 

“I will eat.” She pulled the boy closer and he sighed against her breast. 

“I’ll make you something really good then.” 

“‘Kay Mama.” She kissed soft round cheeks and watched as he turned and soon disappeared within the tall grass. 

“He missed you.” Turning, she found Gael standing there against the veranda, arms crossed and a smile as big as jupiter on his face. 

“Did you take him by the sea?” The wind rustled his hair, the strands past his shoulders. 

“Yeah.” She looked back out to find their son playing with a small creature he’d discovered. 

“There’s so much yet for him to find. This world’s full of treasures.” Arms pulled her against a chest and lips pressed against her ear. 

“Xaen,” She smiled and caressed his cheek, lifting her eyes to meet his. 

“Yes dear husband?” 

“Do you think this will end?” Gliding her fingers across smooth skin, she sighed. 

“I can’t say. But-”

“Mama! Papa! Look!” They turned their gaze unto their son who held up a wild rabbit. 

“I found a bunny!” She laughed, feeling his chuckle from behind. 

“Let him go so he can find his way home Tarwyn.” 

“‘Kay Papa.” Soon, silence ensued. 

“You were saying?” He asked above her, arms tightening slightly. 

“I don’t know what the future holds. But, for you and our son, I’d fight to the death.” It was a while before he spoke again. 

“I feel the same. What we must do now is live in the present. Every moment counts.” 

“Agreed.” 

***

“You must choose to live not just for yourself but for those who treasure you most.”  The words of my dead husband lingered in my spirit for far too long. What happened after was still too fresh and I couldn’t be sure what life held… what purpose it served. Aside from revenge…earned and most certainly be paid in full. My heart had been ripped out and in its wake, a black hole lived in its place. Fingers gripped the sheets. Black holes…weren’t they curious things? 

***

Sweat formed on their skin but how they resembled art. Unable to be replicated, the love they made so tenderly in the morning sun was magnificent. Her fingers gripped the sheets and her teeth bit the pillows. Under his control, her body remained still, hips pressed against her. They writhed against her and she could do nothing but weep for him, her voice the morning dew. The way he came into her took her breath but soon he came to a gradual gait, allowing her to take him in, little by little. He groaned above her as his hands left her cheeks to slide upwards until they came to meet her breasts. She lifted, her back arched as a bow. Turning her head, she dared to look at him. She felt his fingers sift through her dreads as she drowned in his gaze. 

“Gael…” His other hand left her breast and wrapped around her waist, pulling her back against him. The humidity from the summer had produced even more sweat on their flesh, the stickiness nearly unbearable. Fingers intertwined with hers. 

“You are the most potent drug one can consume…” Even after all of this time, still a blush warmed her cheeks. She reached up to brush his lips. 

“I feel the same about you.” He kissed her fingertips. 

“Perhaps Tarwyn is awake now.” She laughed softly at the thought. 

“Have I been too vocal?” 

“I like it when you are vocal.” There again the heat blossomed. 

“Gael…” He grinned and playfully pressed her into the covers, bringing eruptive laughter from her belly. 

“You are a fool!” She said, tears in her eyes. 

“That I am.” He replied simply with a chuckle. She sighed as his body covered her and he laid his face against her hair. 

“Gael..” 

“Yeah baby?” She turned her head to glance up at him. 

“I want our son to have a sibling.” To her surprise, his cheeks grew red. But, his gaze was loving and strong. 

“If that is what you wish.” He replied with a soft smile. She reached up and slid fingers into his hair, the strands forming a veil around them. 

“Is that also your wish?” He leaned down and kissed her, stealing her breath. 

“It is a desire of my heart. I want to create many beautiful things with you Xaen.” She fisted his hair as he came into her again. Moaning against his lips, her eyes fluttered closed. He rolled his hips against her slowly, making her whimper. Tearing her mouth away from his, she sharply inhaled. Electricity charged throughout her body as the new position brought her agonizing pleasure. He rocked against her in a leisurely stride before suddenly his pace increased. She cried out, fingers gripping his chest as his mouth met hers again. He groaned against her, the sound reverberating in her spirit. She moaned in frustration and he stopped, panting. He disconnected from her but only for a moment. She turned flat on her stomach, fingers bunching up the sheets beneath her. He pressed against her, his body dwarfing hers. She smiled against the pillow. He gently lifted her dreads and laid them to fall across his back. He leaned down to press his lips against her cheek. Slowly, he lifted her hips slightly, holding them firmly against him. He entered her and she gasped, sensation flowing through her in waves. 

“G-G-Gael…” He answered with a groan and without hesitation thrust into her. The early sun filtered in through the window and bathed them with its light, intensifying with every breath. She tried to stifle herself against the pillow but he reprimanded her with a piercing stroke. She squirmed against him and he let her go intertwining their fingers. She pushed back against him as he pumped into her deeply, the force of him leaving her breathless. A searing white hot fire burned within her and threatened to set her ablaze. He sensed it and caressed her cheek, pulling her mouth to his. 

“Come for me baby.” He panted before their lips meshed. Instantly, she let the fire saturate her and soon the fire spread to consume him. With a groan, they both grew still. He pressed his face against her shoulder. A tired smile came to her lips. His lips kissed her shoulder as he laid to the side of her, lifting a leg to entrap her. She bit her lip, the feel of him still deep inside gratifying.

“I love you.” He spoke softly against her temple before nuzzling the apple of her cheek. She sighed as slumber beckoned her. 

“I love you too…Gael…” Those were last words she spoke before she drifted to sleep. 

***

Unbeknownst to me, those were the last words I spoke full of contentment and peace. For a few hours later, all hell broke loose. 

***

Footsteps trailed up onto the veranda. She was in the kitchen getting a head start on dinner. Outside, she heard the laughter of her husband and her son and smiled to herself. Cutting some meat, she set it aside and went to wash her hands. The creak of a door sounded. Turning, she stared right into the barrel of a gun. She froze and dropped the towel. A man dressed in grey and scarlet faced her. 

“I see you’ve enjoyed playing house.” She grew still as the laughter outside suddenly stopped. She looked towards the door. They’d been found. Gripping her fingers together, she slowly retrieved the towel from the floor. 

“You certainly took your time in arresting us.”

“Proceed outside.” 

“If I decline?” 

“I will force you.” She stood tall and slowly walked past the man. Her eyes met her husband’s the minute they had reached outside. Tarwyn clutched to him, unease written all over his face. 

“Papa,” He held him tightly, jaw tight. 

“Tarwyn, go play in the fields for a little while. Mama and I have some business we have to address.” The boy shook his head and pressed his face against his leg. 

“I don’t want to…I don’t like these men Papa.” 

“Sweetheart, everything will be alright. Go on now. We won’t be long.” She sent soothing waves towards him and it radiated in her voice. He looked unsure but slowly let the pants leg of his father go.

“Papa you’ll get me when you’re done?” Gael smiled and lifted him into his arms. 

“I will get you when we are finished.” He kissed him on the forehead before putting him down. Without another moment, Tarwyn set off and soon disappeared beyond the tall grasses. 

“Cute kid.” 

“Don’t.” She hissed, looking up at the man who still had the gun pointed her way. 

“You are quite the mother Xaen. It’s a pity you couldn’t have more children.” 

“You bastard.“ Gael interjected, anger visible on his face. 

“Did you think we wouldn’t find you? It was only a matter of time.” 

“We knew that.” She replied, locking eyes with the man who stood closest to her husband.

“Even though you knew you would be caught, you still did it. Was it was worth it?”

“Worth every last minute.” 

“I presume then that you know why we are here.”

“Indeed.”

“Whatever is deemed our punishment we will accept. But, I implore you to leave the boy out of it.” Gael spoke, eyes meeting the man strongly. 

“I’m afraid we cannot do that. He, just like you, is considered a criminal.”

“He’s done nothing wrong.” She countered, fists growing tight.

“He should have been disposed of. His crime is in direct violation of that mandate.” 

“You are fools then to punish an innocent child.” The man grew closer until he pressed the barrel of the gun against her cheek. 

“Your rebellion is high treason.” 

“I don’t give a damn about your treason.” The man pulled the gun away from her cheek and aimed it at Gael.

“It doesn’t matter much if you do. The result will be the same.” He pulled the trigger, striking Gael in the arm.

“Gael!” She shrieked, running towards him. Fingers grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her backwards. 

“ I won’t waste anymore time. Farga, go get the child.” 

“NO!” Tears welled up in her eyes as the man disappeared into the grasses. 

“Gael….” His face had grown pale but his expression remained cool. Blood trickled down his arm. 

“I’m all right.” 

“No…. you’re not. You’re bleeding…” 

“I’m okay baby. Don’t worry.” She turned angry eyes onto the man who held her. 

“You pig.” Fingers gripped her jaw, forcing her to shut her mouth. 

“Your mouth is pretty big. You might get yourself into trouble.” She glared at him, hatred burning deep within her. 

“Mama! Papa!” The man let her go and she ran towards him, pulling him against her. 

“Tarwyn…” 

“Mama, why is Papa hurt?” She pressed her cheek against the top of his head, fingers sliding into his hair. 

“Tarwyn, listen to mama okay? You have to be cooperative. Don’t fight them. Do you understand?” 

“Mama…” She pulled back to look at him. Teary eyes mirrored hers and she gently wiped them from his eyes. 

“You have to be strong. Show no fear.” His small chin trembled. She kissed him and held him tightly. 

“I love you so much…my sweet darling…”  As she pulled away from him, his eyes grew resistant. Her heart throbbed. How he resembled Gael, his spirit unwavering just like his father. She turned around, meeting eyes with the man who pointed the gun at her, aiming right between her eyes. 

“I’ll do whatever you want if it ensures that my son is set free.” The gun wavered not. 

“Anything?” She felt nausea spread through her stomach. 

“Yes.” The man slowly grinned, glancing to the left of her, setting eyes on one man whose eyes burned with fire. 

“In front of him?” She didn’t need to turn to know who he meant. She gripped her fingers tightly together. 

“Only Tarwyn needs to leave. Have some ounce of respect for the child.” 

“Farga,” Her son cried out as the man grabbed him. 

“Tarwyn! Don’t resist! It’ll be over soon don’t worry!” 

“Mama no! NO!” Tears fell down her cheeks but she forced herself to look away. 

“Gael…” Turning, she slowly approached him. His throat had grown tight and his cheeks and neck crimson from rage. But yet he still remained so composed. She knelt in front of him, lifting shaky fingers to his face. 

“I’m…I’m sorry…” 

“Don’t apologize sweetheart. You’ve wronged me not.” She tore off a piece of her dress and made a tourniquet for his wound. 

“I will do what I must to make sure you live. Even if that means being willingly violated…” She pressed her forehead against his and his free arm came to wrap around her, pulling her closer. 

“Xaen…” 

“I love you Gael. I love you so much.” The anger had been briefly quelled only by the tears that welled up in his eyes. Without another word, she slowly pressed her lips against his. He groaned into her mouth as he deepened the kiss. She slid her hands upward to slide fingers into his hair, gripping tightly. She welcomed his touch as his hand slid down to grip her cheek. Her body yearned for him and she wanted him to know it. Pulling her lips away from his, she took his hand and placed it in between her legs, fingers tightly gripping his wrist. 

“I will always belong only to you. Now and forevermore.” A strangled moan rose from his throat. 

“Xaen, we haven’t all day.” She slowly pulled away from him, fingers once nestled close against her now upon the ground. Her heart twisted but she faced the man with an unshakable aura. 

“I want your word that you will release my husband and spare the child.” 

“I can’t promise that he won’t be thrown in jail but the kid I can work something out for.” She swallowed thickly and slowly lifted the dress from her body. It fell to the ground and she stood still as his eyes hungrily glided downward. 

“You were a lucky man Choi Gael. Damn.” 

“Enough talk. Let’s hurry.” The man chuckled as he grew nearer. She tightened her fists as he came to roughly grab a breast. 

“I understand why you remained ideal for the Corporation. Your body is one that is superior in all aspects.” She turned her head as he leaned down to take her into his mouth. 

“Tell me Gael, did you suckle her here until she melted?” 

“Fuck you.” He barked, eyes grown dark with anger. The man laughed against her. 

“My my, what a way to honor your wife’s sacrifice.” He grabbed her and threw her to the ground. She gripped the dust beneath her fingers as he hastily shoved his pants down. Fingers gripped her hair and yanked her head back, forcing her to lock eyes with her husband. 

“Cry out to him.” She squeezed her eyes shut as he pressed himself against her. His scent made her want to vomit. 

“I’ve wanted a taste of you since that day at the selection. Now, I finally get to have you.” She gasped, turning to look at him. 

“You…” He lifted her leg, pressing her knee into the dirt as he towered over her. Without another word he pressed himself against her, teasing her flesh. She felt herself retch and he pulled her head back, pain radiating throughout her temples. 

“Look at him…the bastard that once threatened to kill me.” She forced her eyes open and they settled on him. The calm had expired and he shook with visible outrage, fingers flexed. 

“Do you wish you could rip me from limb to limb?” Her husband spoke not, the color of murderous red surrounding him. 

“Watch as I destroy her.” Before he came into her, she watched in horror as their child came from the house. 

“Mama!” 

“NO! STAY BACK!” She screamed, now starting to fight the man above her. 

“Hey hey hey, don’t make a scene.” She grew still, bringing a chuckle from him. 

“Good girl…” She turned and tangled her fingers in his hair. Leaned up as much as she could, she kissed him. Repulsion flowed into her mouth and she wasted no time disconnecting, taking his bottom lip in between her teeth. With all her might, she bit down until blood stained her chin. He screamed and punched her, recoiling back from her. Grabbing his gun, she ignored the million dots that blinded her and ran towards her child. Before she could get to him, the man who had run after him pulled out a device and shot a blast of light at him. Eyes wide she could do nothing but watch as a large black abyss formed at his torso. He glanced down before locking eyes with her. 

“Mama! Help me!” She pointed the gun at the man who’d attacked him. 

“Reverse it! Now!” 

“It cannot be done.” 

“Xaen!” She turned towards her husband’s voice. That bastard came towards her, blood soaking his uniform. 

“You bitch!” She fired the weapon and it struck him, killing him instantly. Training it back onto the man, she felt herself break into pieces. 

“Tarwyn!” 

“Mama! Papa! Help!” The both of them could do nothing but watch as the abyss spread, pulling him into it.

“HELP ME!” The pleas of her child went unanswered and soon, the screams stopped as well. A bloodcurdling cry of anguish pierced the atmosphere and she pressed her face against the dirt, tears flowing. 

“My baby…” Her body trembled and she sobbed, pain flowing through her. 

“Soon, reinforcements will be here.” She slowly lifted to her feet, her body swaying in the breeze. Lifting the gun in her hand she aimed it at the man. 

“You killed my son…have you no regret?” 

“Xaen Choi, should you harm him, we will kill your husband where he stands.” Eyes turned onto two others who held Gael, pinning his arms behind him. She assessed the pain that dwelled on his face and without a moment wasted, shot the man nearest to his right. He dropped like a blade of grass and the other man let go of him. Gael used the opportunity to grab the small blazer he kept tucked against his side. He swiftly sliced the other man’s major vein, watching as he fell to the ground. She turned to find the other man gone. Dropping the gun, she stared at the spot where once her life had stood, her flesh and blood… her entire world. Even with a weapon such as this, still she had been powerless. Still, she could do nothing. Arms slid around her and she felt her legs give out. Even with his injury, she knew he no longer felt it. Not while a greater suffering took over his heart.

“He’s gone….He’s gone Gael…” The tears that touched her shoulder screamed, the anguish plenty. 

“Xaen…baby…” 

“NO! THEY KILLED HIM! THEY TOOK MY BABY FROM ME!” She screamed, fresh hot tears meeting cold cheeks. He didn’t respond, instead hugging her to him so tight it had begun to hurt. He began to weep loudly, pressing his face against her. She stared blankly into the sky, hearing nothing but cries of her husband.

“Choi Gael and Choi Xaen.” Neither one of them moved or said a word. 

“For the crimes of high treason, by order of Txeis Corporation you are hereby sentenced to death.” A bitter laugh surfaced from behind her and his breath was full of fire as it hushed against her. 

“It’s a shame you came all the way here for that.” He lifted his gaze and found that they were surrounded, guns and electrocution blazers at the ready. 

“We’re already dead.” His flat desolate reply. 

“Get up.” One of them demanded. His arms withdrew from her and he stood, blood soaking through the tourniquet she’d made. She slowly pulled herself up, fingers tightly gripping the gun in her hand. 

“Drop the weapon.” 

“Why would I do that?” She asked, eyes settling on the man in an empty stare. Lifting the gun, she aimed and fired, striking one. A sharp pain ripped her apart and she screamed, dropping the weapon. Her body convulsed and her gaze grew blurry. 

“If you do not cooperate, we will have no choice.” They closed in on Gael, the only one left standing. 

“If either one of you move, I’ll shoot you!” She groaned, trying to lift. Gunshots rang out and she froze. Turning, she found Gael slowly walking towards her, feet unsteady. Blood seeped through his shirt and finally, he fell to his knees. 

“GAEL!” Hair covered his face but he reached out for her.

“Xaen…” She crawled towards him but soon he fell face first against the dirt. 

“NO! GAEL NO!” She finally got to him and wrapped her arms around him. A pool of blood grew underneath him and the skin beneath her fingertips had suddenly grown cool. 

“You can’t have him…I won’t let you take him.” She lifted him slightly, grabbing his face. Sweat beaded against his hairline and she pushed the hair back from his face and with shaky fingers, she pressed them against his cheek. 

“Look at me…Gael… please my beloved…” But his eyes remained closed, the slow soft moan of a dying man instead replied. 

“YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM! I WON’T LET YOU TAKE HIM FROM ME!” Hands came to pull her, prying her away from him. Fingers grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her backwards. 

“We will take you to be sentenced Choi Xaen of Zor.” She fought them, crying from the deaths of her soul. 

“GAEL….GAEL! NO…NO..…GET OFF OF ME…GAEL!” Even as fists came to strike her and feet came to kick her, she still reached out for him. Finally, she stopped fighting, allowing them to drag her away, the pain a dull throb. Tears fell across dirty cheeks and as they lifted her by her hair and threw her into a transport vehicle, she felt a part of herself die. Alone in the dark, body bruised and bloodied, she wept until even the tears refused to come. 

***

They forced me to cut my hair as it symbolized the free world… a world they prohibited. Every trace of who I had been was intentionally erased and when it surfaced, they made sure to keep a syringe handy. All of it was the same as before… only realer. Rawer. The brainwashing had taken the lives of so many women. The drugs coursing through their veins a way to cope with the pain and suffering. For me, it kept me strong. It kept me focused. Oftentimes, I wanted it all to end. But, then I remembered my life was not my own. I owed it to my son. I owed it to my beloved. The breath of the Creator still lived in my lungs. I owed it to Him. I placed feet on cold ground and got up. 

“Guard.” 

“What is it?” 

“I will eat.” I knew the food would be drugged but my body needed nourishment. 

“Very well.” After a while of waiting, the door opened and a delicious meal slid towards me. I blinked. That wasn’t regularly what met me. I glanced towards the door. What were they up to? Grabbing the fork, I parted through the tender meat until it was in pieces. A small white piece of parchment stuck out in one of the shreds. Picking it up, I read the small words elegantly scribbled. 

Soon, you shall be free. 

I tossed the plate aside and went to the door, glancing through the small window to find no one but the guard standing there. How had this slipped through detection? Glancing back towards the meal, I swallowed tightly. There was an informant within the walls of the facility. Someone I hoped I met soon. With their alliance, not only would I be able to escape… but I’d try to take as many of the women willing to go as I could. Then and only then would Txeis truly have something to fear. Then, they would be defeated.