CHAPTER 14

My mother wanted us to dress up cute but I looked acutely embarrassing. She'd ordered me to wear a light grey suit with the pencil skirt and blazer matching, and underneath it I had a white ruffled top. I hated the fact that it highlighted my horrid curves, it made me look bigger than I already was. I could feel my fat thighs rubbing on each other.

As the car got closer to the jailhouse parking lot, my uneasiness kept multiplying at the thought of seeing my dad again after so long. Eight years was a long time - I'd changed, he'd changed, my mum had changed and so had Bobby. Would he be able to fit in and would we be able to fit him in? I was his 'baby girl' before he left - would he take one look at me and see the mess I'd grown up to be?

"Mommy, where are we going?" asked Bobby the 55th time as his brown eyes took in the vastly spread, old building protected by the tall barbed wire fences a little way from where our car was parked.

"Baby, I told you it's a surprise so stop with the questions," answered back my mum and in return she received an unhappy pout from Bobby, "boy you better clear that look off of your face."

Even though my mum tried so hard not to show it, her nervousness was apparent as she fussed over Bobby's tie once again, making sure it was tied properly and re-folding the collar of his white crispy shirt.

On the scale of things, she was a BBBW (Big Beautiful Black Woman). My mother was always the one who took time in making sure she looked good but all that changed after my dad was incarcerated. So when I first saw her dressed up in her ketchup red dress suit, I was absolutely amazed (and damn right jealous) by her. Gone was her nurse's uniform, and in return was a feisty woman ready to claim her man.

"Luciana hold your brother's hand, I don't want him running about," said my mum as we waited outside the electric gates that had patrolling security guards with long rifle guns.

I smiled brightly as he grabbed unto my hand, having missed his presence around the house since he had gone to his friend's for a two day sleepover. I could tell that he was getting bored as he kept swinging my arms back and forth and he couldn't seem to stop fidgeting about.

The temperature was Antarctic but I didn't even feel it. I didn't sleep the entire night because scenarios kept playing in my mind of how the first meet would be, so whilst my mum was being asked about who she was picking up and to provide her driver's license, I fixed my eyes beyond the gates wanting to catch the first glimpse of my dad.

About five or so minutes later, far off in the distance I saw two men, one white, one black with similar builds, emerge seemingly out of nowhere and walk towards where we were.

My heart beat really fast when the black guy turned out to be my dad. It was sort of hard to make him out fully because they were quite a distant walk away but as soon as he got closer sparks of nerves shocked me to stay still.

I couldn't move- it was just so surreal. Before I knew it, the gates was the only thing standing between my dad and us.

My mum was cool as a cucumber. When the security let them through the gates she just fastened her eyes on the white man who was my dad's lawyer. My dad on the other hand couldn't keep his vision steady as he looked from my mother to me to Bobby, his eyes gazed a little longer at his son.

"Mrs. Carter?" asked the tall, Caucasian man with a courteous nod.

"Mr.Williams."

They both shook hands and I could smell my mums nerves had reached fever pitch and she hadn't even afforded my dad eye contact.

"My job here is done... hopefully", he said jokingly before turning to my dad, "stay out of trouble Mr. Carter."

"I will try my best", said my dad chuckling which raised unamused looks from all of us.

"Remember you still have 48 months probation to complete."

"Sure."

"Alright well Mr. Carter, you're a free man, your family is here waiting to take you home, have a Merry Christmas."

With one last hand shake with my mum and dad, the lawyer left us to ourselves. The three of us stood still, grounded in our spot, with nobody saying anything. Finally able to clearly see my dad, I was overcome with a lot of emotions. If it wasn't for Bobby tugging my hand to gain my attention, I would have probably burst into tears.

"Who is that man and why does he keep staring at me?" He whispered whilst suspiciously looking at my dad. Bobby was just about a year old when my dad was incarcerated, so to him it was like meeting his father for the first time.

"That's our daddy, Bobby."

With that new knowledge my brother stared back at my dad with renewed confidence - no one with good sight could deny that they were father and son. All too suddenly, Bobby's warm hand left my grasp and slowly he walked over to my dad and said, "Hello dad."

Hearing that one word of acknowledgement come from his son, my dad's face broke into a genuine smile as he picked up Bobby into his arms to have his first contact with him in so long. Bobby's slim arms wrapped around my dad's neck as my dad continued to pat his back.

I'd always been daddy's girl and when he went to jail I was just ten so he could still carry me but unfortunately I'd grown up into an eighteen year old fat frump, so there was no way of that happening.

"Esther girl, are you gonna give your dad a hug?"

Nobody ever called me by middle name - except my dad. When I was younger he'd tell me I was his 'little star'. Without being told twice I ran over to my dad like I was five again and hugged him tight, and before I could stop them slow tears began to leak out my eyes. It'd been too long.

And then remained one. Maya Carter otherwise known as my mother who from where I was standing was not ready to give in so easy to her husband as her children had done. My dad gently dropped Bobby back to the floor, and loosened his arms around me as he whispered to us, "Kids, I need to talk to your mother."

Walking over to where she was standing I could still hear the interaction between the two, as my mum was obviously playing hard to get. "Girl, who you looking good for?" asked my dad, smiling as she still refused to meet his gaze.

No one in particular", answered back my mum.

"Is that right?"

"Yes", she replied not with the same cool edge she had earlier on.

I called that progress.

"So why are you here?"

"To take my stupid-ass husband home whose made me do it alone for eight years," retorted my mum, looking more vulnerable than ever.

That was certainly a new look. My dad unaffected by her words kept on smiling, "Do you still love this stupid-ass husband of yours?"

My mum was still being a hard-ass as she did not respond to my dad's question, which resulted my dad using a very different tactic which was not quite appropriate for young eyes such as Bobby. My brother and I watched on as my dad began leaving kisses around my mum's neck, whilst hearing my mum's half-hearted protests to let her go. I heard the security guards behind us start coughing. When he neared her mouth, I heard my mum half-whisper half-moan, "Not infront of the kids, Jay."

My dad quickly glanced over at us, before looking back at my mum. "Tell me you still love your stupid-ass husband and when you get home with him, you're going to show him just how much you missed him."

Hearing my dad talk dirty to my mum was highly awkward for me. Headphones for me as soon as we get home, I thought. Quickly recomposing herself, my mum lightly pushed my dad away from her as a small smile was evident on her lips, "You know I be loving your stupid- ass till the day I die."

And with that Mr. And Mrs. Carter shared an eight- year old kiss.