CHAPTER 27

"Esther, you can't keep running away from your problems!"

"I'm not running away from them daddy, I-I'm just simply avoiding them."

"You know there's a special word for people who do exactly what you just described", with a moment's pause, he uttered, "coward."

Maybe it was the way in which my dad said it or the fact that he'd used it in reference to me that made me feel worse than expected.

The truth was hard for me to swallow.

"No I'm not a coward, I just don't see the point in a confrontation when walking away is a better option."

My dad didn't even bother to credit me with a response, instead he kissed his teeth at me and opened the fridge, pulling out a bottle of water and unscrewing the cap before drinking huge gulps from it.

"Why were you trying to leave the school premises?"

My dad's usually playful pair of browns was anything but playful as his determined look to know the truth was set on me -that was my cue to be nervous.

Not able to hold eye contact with his strong gaze, I fidgeted with the strap of my school bag. "I already told you."

"And that is?"

"I wasn't feeling well and I didn't want to go to the school nurse."

"No, that's the lie you told Mr. Darley. I'm not Mr. Darley, I'm your dad I want to know the truth."

Trust my dad to figure my lying ass out.

After getting busted the lovely Ms. Darcy and her annoying scratchy voice escorted me to Mr. Darley's office and went on and on about my lack of discipline and loss of focus in my studies.

My mum was called but she couldn't make it because she was at work, so she gave my school my dad's number.

My dad was most definitely not pleased with me - and that was putting it plainly. He had been in a meeting with Eduardo, but had to cut it short. I no doubt felt guilty about that.

My principal had gone into great lengths to entertain my father with the many tales of my habitual escapes from school, including the day I had hit Angelo's car.

My dad always the one to keep his affairs, especially family affairs private didn't say anything to Mr. Darley except to reassure him that he was going to 'deal' with the issue. I didn't miss the look of dissatisfaction on my principal's face when he realised that my dad was not going to give him a show by yelling at me in front of him.

"So am I going to wait until Jesus comes before you start talking?"

But I couldn't.

How pathetic of me would it have been to tell my dad I couldn't cope with a group of girls saying mean things to me.

"I can't."

"Why's that?"

My dad was right - I was being a coward.

Exhausted already from the day's events I said, "I just don't want to talk about it."

My eyes caught my dad's lip twitch as if he wanted to say something more, but in the next second they had set in a small pout having seen the resigned look on my face.

Sighing, I dragged my school bag along the floor as I tiredly sauntered towards the stairs to go to my room but not before hearing my father mutter to himself. "She's just as stubborn as her mother."

When I finally reached my room I flung my bag in some unknown direction before hurriedly taking off my shoes and coat and tucking myself warm in the duvet covers. That was exactly what I needed.

I was finally away from the world and my insecurities.

Coward.

As hard as I tried to sleep, that one word irritatingly kept drumming itself into my brains disallowing me partition from the universe and causing me a headache. Amongst the chaos going in my head, I heard several vibrations right on my ear and I sat up frustrated searching for the damn phone.

I found my phone chucked on the floor and for a second I looked at it confused at how it got there, since I remember hearing it beside my pillow but I figured my arms must have swung it down in my haste to locate it.

From: Buttbag

Had fun on your first day?

I was too annoyed to reply back. I could only assume he was taking the piss but I was certainly not amused.

After the little talk Mr. Darley had with my dad he also informed him that I was on my last warning and if I failed to follow the conducts of the school I was going to get my butt expelled and I could blow a good-bye kiss to graduation.

Had fun on your first day? I didn't even understand why I was getting so frustrated with Angelo when I knew he didn't know of the events that had taken place and it wasn't his fault that they had taken place in the first place - well not fully anyway.

Truth is, I wanted Angelo with me. I wanted him to say some stupid shit about how pretty I was or that Shakespearean stuff about how he wanted to create love with me - I really just wanted him to comfort me. Then again, as Jacey so lovingly implied, I couldn't afford to be demanding. So that meant settling for being a friendless coward in a cold bed.

Yes, the pity party was on full blast.

The next morning I felt like utter bleurgh, lucky for me the house was already empty so I didn't have to deal with anyone's questions. I had stayed in bed all night and I must have slept like over twelve hours or something but to me it still felt like I'd hardly any sleep.

Pushing myself to get up and get ready was a real battle but I did not want to get on Mr. Darley's bad side any longer for the duration of my time at his silly school. The thought of having to walk in the heavy snow was definitely not helping my foul mood. I knew for sure I had a ninety-nine percent chance of slipping. My school most definitely should have been closed but of course my school was one of them schools that refused to shut down even if the apocalypse was occurring, because they didn't want us to miss on 'important education'.

Pshtt.

I closed off the curtain when I heard the unexpected ring from the doorbell. Picking up my school bag, I exited my room before making my way down the stairs. Checking through the peephole, and seeing who it was my heart stupidly decided to beat a little harder but I ignored it as I swung the door open, pretending to be unaffected by his presence.

My mood was still very much in the gutters but seeing him, lifted the air a bit. Unfortunately I got too quickly frustrated and annoyed and uneasy with his intense gaze. "What?"

Surprise fleeted on his face for a second. "What?"

"Yes, I was just about to make my way to school and I don't want to be late so what are you doing here?"

"Your mum asked me if I could give you a ride to school that's why I'm here -- you didn't even reply to my text yesterday, what's up with your ass?"

"First of all I am not inclined to answer your text messages just because they are from you and secondly, it's none of your damn business."

For some reason I could feel myself grow hot and hotter with suppressed anger and it only heightened by his presence. I watched cautiously as he closed the door shut behind him, before he crossed the short distance right in front of me chuckling softly.

"Alright, Luci-anal."

"Excuse me?"

"You're excused. Something's up but knowing you, you'd probably expect me to use my telepathic powers to figure it out, right?"

"I don't expect you to do anything."

Side-stepping him, I attempted to move away but he only followed suit.

"Seriously what's wrong with you?"

Hearing his husky voice speak with genuine concern was nearly enough for me to give in. Nearly.

"Nothing is wrong and as I've told you even if there was it'd be none of your damn business," I stated out more harshly than I intended.

"Clearly there is something wrong. I just don't understand why you have to be on defence mode all the time."

"There is nothing for you to understand," looking away from the look in his eye, I continued, "please just leave, I'm sorry that my mum had you come here but I can make my own way."

"You can't keep pushing me away!"

Surprised by his raised voice I jumped, feeling his deep frustration at me but I certainly did not appreciate that - it only made it harder for me to contain my anger.

"Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do? I'm not under your damn authority."

"Right, so this is what you want?"

In my mind I thought it would be better for us to carry on living life like we'd never met yet useless tears pricked at my eyes as I defiantly said, "Yes."

Angelo's body grew tense. His jaws were locked tightly and I turned my head to avoid him seeing the unshed tears in my eyes. "Okay then, fine."

"Fine."

A short pause followed after as I heard my heart scream at me to take back everything I said but it was too late.

Abruptly turning to make his way back to the front door, he said, "I don't need this."

"That's alright, I don't need you."

As soon as the words escaped my lips I regretted them. My pride would not let me see that he had the last word in and I wanted him to feel too how much his words had stung me.

For the split second he looked at me before disappearing out the house, his face was vacant of anything emotionally but his eyes told a different story - I'd hurt him.