MIA

"Don't you think you're pushing yourself a bit too hard?" Neil asked me.

It had been a month since my last encounter with Ethan in Shawn's office. Since then I spent my time training and studying. Neil was a Gamma in the pack and my official bodyguard, apparently most Luna's had one. When he wasn't following me around like a lost puppy he was helping me train two sometimes three times a day.

I was serious when I said I wasn't going to be victimized again. Ethan could cancel that. I'd seen him around the pack house and despite my training I still felt fear when I saw him but having some fighting knowledge gave me a small bit of comfort.

I glared at him from my position on the ground, we were going over self defense and he pulled a move on me that I knewhow to counter but somehow I ended up on the ground anyway. "Fine," I said pulling myself up, "where's my water I'm hot."

"That's because you need to take off that stupid shirt. It's to hot for long sleeves and a mock turtle neck." He said frowning. I chose to ignore him. I knew it was hot but it was either this or a scarf those were the only two things that covered my scar and I was stubborn so the fact that it was now May and pretty warm outside didn't stop me from covering it. Neil was a nice guy and so was his wife Dawn, they were the couple I had spied from Shawn's office saying their goodbyes. I liked them both but neither of them knew the details around my changing or the fact that my mark is hideous.

I knew from my reading that a mating mark was super important in wolf culture and it should be worn with pride. I hated to step on anyone's culture but the mark wasn't something I was proud of and I most definitely wasn't proud to "belong" to Ethan. So for now I kept it covered with a thin infinity scarf 90% of the time. Only myself, my doctor, and Shawn (purely on accident) have seen it and I intended to keep it that way.

"Stop worrying about my clothes and help me up." I said rolling my eyes. I took his outstretched hand and he pulled me to my feet.

"So can we at least agree that we are finished for today?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes and started back towards the pack house, "Fine. I guess I've had enough for today anyway."

"I have to say I'm impressed by the amount of progress you've made this past month. Even considering the fact that you are an Alpha your stronger and faster than I expected."

"Thanks," I said smiling. It was nice to hear because I'd been working really hard and one of the good things about being a werewolf was that my body was banging now. I was toned in places I didn't know could get toned!

Just as we were getting close to the pack house his mate Dawn ran up and jumped in his arms kissing him like she hadn't seen him in a year causing me to roll my eyes. They were so cute it made me sick.

"So, Luna are you coming tonight?" Dawn was trying to convince me to join a few of the women from the pack for a girls night in. Apparently each month they commandeer the basement for their gathering.

"I don't know Dawn."

"Come on. I will be fun. The girls are dying to meet you and you need friends." Dawn said. "Plus, with all due respect Luna you owe me." She was right, I needed help taking my weave out and she graciously assisted me and helped me put mini twists in my hair. Technically as the only sista around she was obligated, it had to be part of the sista code somewhere.

"And you're gonna waste your favor from the great and powerful Luna on this?" I asked teasing her.

She nodded her head furiously, her dreads swinging around her face.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. I'll come for a little while." I said reluctantly. Another thing I'd discovered through my reading was how important a Luna was to the pack. Luna was a leader like a queen but also a protector of the pack...like a mother. So it was natural for the pack to want to be in my presence and get to know me. I understood why I attacked Ethan that day in Shawn's office, I felt the urge to protect my pack member even from his own Alpha, my mate.

I parted ways with them and headed into the house heading towards my room to shower and change and get ready for girls night. I was irritated that I could smell Ethan in the house and based on how strong his scent was he had been through the front door recently and might be close by.  

I silently cursed and started to walk faster I didn't want to see him. Unfortunately, luck was not on my side and I practically ran into him as I rounded the corner to go up the stairs. I quickly stepped back a few steps to create distance between us. Based on the look in his face he wasn't super happy to see me either.

Neither of us moved for a moment we just stood there staring at each other. The atmosphere around us felt electric and intense. Once again I felt myself longing to reach out to him and wishing that his cold stare would soften. I knew why I felt this way. It was the bonds way of drawing us closer to each other so we would mate. And the more time that passed without the bond being completed the stronger these feelings would be.

I shook myself out of the fog I was in and made a mad dash up the stairs. "Not today Satan." I said entering my room and closing my door.

********

After my encounter with Ethan I hung out in my room the rest of the night until it was time to head to the basement. I wasn't thrilled about this meeting at all. Not that I had anything against the people in the pack. Everyone well mostly everyone, had been pretty nice to me but a lot of people were curious about their Alpha and Luna and asked me questions I couldn't answer or didn't want to answer. Others hadn't been so nice and really didn't like me at all for reasons I really couldn't understand.

I entered the basement and saw a multitude of snacks, drinks and a stack of movies. This was going to be a long night. As I entered all heads turned towards me and all conversation stopped. I felt awkward until Dawn jumped up and ran over to me, "Luna, you came!" She gave me a hug and pulled me further into the room.

"Ladies, if you haven't had the pleasure I'd like to introduce you to our Luna, Mia."

I nervously adjusted the scarf around my neck making sure it was covering my neck entirely. Five pairs of eyes, including Beth's, were focused on me, "Hi everyone." I said waiving.

Immediately I was bombarded with a chorus of questions as they drug me over to the couch to sit in the middle of them. To my relieve they mostly wanted to know what it was like to be famous which was simply enough to answer. A couple of the girls wanted to know about some of the famous men I had met and what they were like in real life.

I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy myself, Beth and I even managed to have a couple of fun moments together.  I hadn't really spoken to Beth much since I moved into the pack house. I know she was back and forth to L.A. to help manage some of her other artists. 

"Can we talked?" She asked after every one had left and it was just me, her and Dawn finished up some cleaning.

I nodded and sat down on the couch next to her.  

"I have been thinking about everything you said and...I know you are still upset with me and I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I never ever meant you any harm, Mia. I love you like a sister and I would never intentionally bring you somewhere that I didn't think you would be safe. I'm sorry that your life has changed." She started to cry, "I'm so sorry that you are being sucked into a life that you don't want and I wish I could take everything back and never bring you here." She took a deep breath, "I want us to be friends again and I know we probably can't go back to how things use to be but I'd like to try. I guess I just had a hard time seeing everything from your pint of view, aside from the way you were changed, mating and all of that are given in our community. A she-wolf would have accepted the mating for what it was and stepped up to her responsibilities but I can't expect you to act that way and it was unfair of me to even think you could just shake it off and rise to our demands."

I had tears in my eyes by the time she finished speaking, maybe I was irrational in my original anger for her. I wasn't quite sure but I was happy she apologized and at least thought about what I said and how I feel. That's all I really want and need throughout this journey.

I leaned forward and hugged her, "Thank you." Tears were streaming down my face, "I just need someone to be on my side and understand that this is not easy."

"I promise from now on that's me. No more secrets. No more trying to do what I think is best for you."

"Good." I said smiling at her. Now, lets finish cleaning up this mess so we can go to bed.

ETHAN

Mia had been in the pack house for four weeks now and it was driving me completely insane. My wolf, that traitorous bastard, wouldn't let me rest at night unless I was curled up in wolf form outside her damn door. So despite the fact that I have been able to avoid her for the most part I woke up outside her door every morning. Thankfully, I was always up earlier than her or the rest of the pack so I was able to sneak off back to my own room before anyone would notice.

I was in the gym taking out my frustration on the punching bag when Shawn came in. In my quest to avoid Mia I had also been avoiding my childhood friend. There was a crazy amount of tension between us since that day in his office when he punched me. "I think we should talk." He said from behind me.

"I don't think that's a good idea." I said not taking my focus off of the punching bag in front of me.

"You cant keep walking around acting like an asshole, Ethan." He said.

I turned around to face him and was surprised when he was a little closer to me than I thought, I started to take off my boxing gloves because I already knew this wasn't going to turn out well. "You cant keep minding mine and my mates business." I shot back. I tossed my gloves on the ground and walked towards him.

"As long as you keep leaving your mate in situations where I need to look out for her I guess I will continue to be in your business." Shawn said. He was starting to agitate me and the closer I got to him the more apparent it was that he had been with my mate sometime today because I could smell her on him. "Do you realize how scared that girl is? You changed her into a wolf and then left her all alone. Do you  know how many nights a week I have to comfort her because she's up at night crying? What the hell is wrong with you? She is your mate, Ethan. She deserves better than this from you. I don't give a damn what you think your reasoning is there is no excuse for treating her this way. She is supposed to lead the pack, how is the pack going to respect her when her own Alpha and mate has nothing but contempt for her? You are screwing over the entire pack with your actions. There are already pack members starting to shun her because if their Alpha isn't claiming her then she isn't worthy of respect. Your father would have been better off making Beth Alpha than --"

Before he could finish I punched him, honestly I had been itching to punch him since the first day he disrespected me in my office when I asked him why he smelled like my mate. This fight was long overdue. He was shocked but he recovered quickly and punched me back, I was slightly quicker than him so I moved and he missed my face and caught me on my ear. The fighting only got more intense from there. A couple of people came in the gym but quickly left when they noticed the Alpha and Beta fighting. I wasn't sure how long we fought, we were both sporting black eyes, Shawn had a cut on his head that was dripping blood and I think we were both had a couple of broken ribs.

We were starting to run out of steam, "You are a real ass hole you know that right?" Shawn said breathing heavily while still circling me waiting on me to attack.

"You know how I feel about humans Shawn. I don't want to be with her."

"That would have been fine had you not marked her. But you did, she is marked now so what is your plan?" He asked he stopped circling me and took a step back winching and grabbing on to his side as he did. "So how are you going to fix this? You cant just keep her at arms length? Do you want her to leave? Will your wolf be able to handle her leaving? Because I can tell you right now that she is already planning on leaving here and going back to her life in L.A."

I paused, the thought of her leaving didn't sit well with my wolf at all yet I really didn't want her to stay. I sighed, "I don't know what to do Shawn. I am not sure that I can let her go but I am also not sure that I can be a mate to her."

"When are you going to realize that being a good mate and leader isn't always about you? Who cares if you don't like humans? What ever was done to you wasn't done to you by Mia. She is innocent in this."

"I just need some time to figure things out."

"Times up, Ethan. Its been almost 6 weeks and she needs you so figure it out already." With that Shawn turned and left the gym albeit at a much slower pace than when he entered. It had been a while since we fought like that.  Its hard to say when we first started resolving all of our conflicts with actual fights but it seemed to work for us. It was an unspoken rule that we never shifted and we never tried to severely injure the other person. We mostly just took out our frustrations on each other until we were calm enough and level headed enough to actually talk.

I turned to walk over to collect my gym bag, both of my sides were killing me and I was sure I had a couple of broken ribs, the side of my face also felt like it was swelling up. That bum was able to get the best of me today and I am sure it had a lot to do with the fact that I haven't been myself since I bit Mia. Everything has been turned on its head.

I slowly made my way back to the pack house. My pack members gave me questioning looks along the way but no one asked me what happened. I thought about what Shawn said, he was probably right although I hated to admit it. If I was miserable and I had been a wolf all my life and knew what to expect and what was happening to me, Mia must have been equally if not more miserable than I was. Maybe we could come to a compromise, I still didn't want her as a mate but maybe we could at least work together until we could figure out how to get out of this situation. I wasn't entirely sure that a mate bond could be broken but I was holding out hope that since the bond was only halfway completed there had to be some options out there for us.