Liam is really freaking out, why? Is he afraid of his father or other people in the organization. Lacey is a ride or die chick, I like that.
Umm good question, i just think hes worried because he has a family you know. A single guy would probably be like fuck it, lets go and he has an obligation to his adoptive father. But hells yeah, Lacey is about that life when it comes to her loved ones.Reviewer: jacqua43 Signed [Report This]
Date: July 09 2015 02:46 am
-gushes at the love scene- I know you've heard it before, but I enjoyed reading! Lace seems like she's pancaking a little bit with whether or not she'll actually go through with starting the divorce, but I'm sure we'll see :] Keep up the awesome work!
SO LATE I KNOW! But im back! and Yeah im working on all of this, thanks so much for the review!Reviewer: Asia Ralaia Schiegoh Signed [Report This]
Date: March 02 2013 07:31 am
Let me just say...Bella is a mess! I love her!!
Overall it was good. Now, I usually don't give advice on formatting, grammar or what have you, because alot of the writers are sensitive (I'm one) but I also believe if it comes from a good place, then its golden. So here's my 2 cents...
Be sure to give your update a thorough proofread before you click that add story button. Then you will be able to snatch the mistakes. Just keep in mind that no matter how many times you go over it, some will slip by you. That's just how it normally goes, so don't go all caa-caa. lol.
On the large paragraph issue...This might sound cray- but I believe that we all write to a certain rhythm. So when I'm faced with a large para' I will read it out to myself and when I sense that those few lines have made a certain point across or have made a good stopping point. Then, I will double deuce that ENTER button.
Well that all I got right now. That's my 2pennies.
Can't wait for the next update. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much i appreciate all your help!!! Yess yes yess, Bella is my drive i will admit i love the kid ha!! but im not a normal writer in any sense English has never been my strong suit but i do love it :)
Believe me i am so scared to put my un edited work out here but i do read it at least 10 times, idk you know how sometimes you just need an extra set of eyes to see whats not working right!! but i like to sleep on my chapters as well, if i think somthings perfect at 1am im probably going to hate it at 12pm so i make sure i read them multiple times in different settings, but some mistakes will always get away unfourtionatly.
My large para issue is slowly working itself out. I am a college student so i write in para form ALL the time, dialogue isint my strong suit YET! but im getting there, and i completly agree with everything you say, i try to cut them off but it never really happened in this chapter. lol
THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR READING AND HELPING!! it honestly means sosososososo much you dont even know. Your 2pennies will be well spent i promise. Thanks again and stay tuned :)Reviewer: Elizablu Signed [Report This]
Date: February 15 2013 06:16 am
Who is the dude you got for Jackson? He got that gorgeous blonde Adonis vibe going for him.
OMG I KNOW RIGHT! i dont know his name, lol i google image searched Blonde curly hair man. and when he poped up i was like YES LAWD I AM USING HIM! hahahaahahahaha i dont think i could find a better looking man!!Reviewer: Elizablu Signed [Report This]
Date: February 15 2013 05:50 am
Mommy you didnt' tell me you had a pink rabbit lol omg I'm dying laughing over here lol. I love bella she so cute. Now Jackson and Liam dad is a huge a hole big time i can't belive he acting the way he is but i hope liam able to get out. Love the update and thank for the update.
Thanks for reading :) and yes yes yes i laughed while i wrote that part, shes just so cute i love it. and Marco is pretty interesting, but he's a family man, he likes to do things his way!!!! Stay tuned loveReviewer: wwefanforlife Signed [Report This]
Date: February 15 2013 03:56 am
I just love Bella she is so adorable!! I don't trust this Marco, I am glad that they are coming up with a plan of attack.
Thanks, i know this chapter was confusing to some so i hoped you liked it :) and she is isint she? lol shes like the cutest kid ever hahaha Thanks for reading! Stay tuned.Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]
Date: February 15 2013 02:40 am
I was completely lost on this chapter. Why was Mac and Milan in this chapter, I thought that was a different story. I understand that maybe due to limited time you may have made that error but I strongly advise that you scheme read your work before uploading it. As well as that I suggest you break down your paragraph in smaller chunks so it's easier for a reader to digest what is going on. I like the interaction between the characters especially the little girl Bella she's adorable. Overall I think you've guy a good start, but mind the pace of your story and do regular checks so you won't make unnecessary mistakes. Have a good day :)
Im sorry you feel that way. Remember Mac is Jackson's best friend and he is also a family friend, and Mila is Bella's doctor that everyone except Liam has met, Im trying not to intertwine the stories too much but they are centered around the same group of people so its only natural they come up, its a series im working on. I wanted to give background since alot of people were confused about Liam and Jacksons upbringing!! Thanks for voicing your concerns, i promise theirs a scheme behind the madness and il be sure to be clearer, i have noticed my paragraphs are long working on it!! Thanks so much love, keep reviewing because you can only make me better :)Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: February 15 2013 01:28 am
Great update but something went wrong with the text, a whole chunk the chapter was repeated at the end. Still great and looking forward to the next one.
Thanks i fixed it. i coppied and pasted it from word twice :( but i appreciate you saying somthing. Thanks for the review an keep reading.Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: February 15 2013 12:24 am
Thanks for the cast photos.
Nooo problem! Hot family right!!! lol stay tuned.Reviewer: divsionred Anonymous [Report This]
Date: February 14 2013 12:12 pm
Great update. Hopefully Liam will be able tovget out of the Mafia without any casualty to his family. Thanks
Yepp, il tell y'all now, not significant character will die lol i dont think i could handle that. hahaha Thanks for the review. keep reading :)
Yepp, il tell y'all now, not significant character will die lol i dont think i could handle that. hahaha Thanks for the review. keep reading :)Reviewer: divsionred Anonymous [Report This]
Date: February 14 2013 12:11 pm
Good start to the story. I guess he rising the mob or something like that. Didn't she know before they got married and started a family? Thanks
Thanks for the review :) all of your questions will be anwsered!!! Thanks for reading stay tunedd.Reviewer: divsionred Anonymous [Report This]
Date: February 14 2013 12:03 pm
Let me just start off saying I love stories about a mafia. And girl I love Liam and Jackson. True Liam do needs to work things out with his family but at least he admit his fault and is willing to change. Please update soon! Great story so far!!!
Thank you, and i love them too. haha they are the best. Jackson is the perfect man lmao. but thanks for reading it means alot. il update soon im editing the next chapter as we speak so it should be up tomorrow. i like to sleep on my chapters to see how im feeling on a new day lol. Stay tuned.Reviewer: hazelbazel92 Signed [Report This]
Date: February 14 2013 03:39 am
Jacksons is a trip but i'm glad he putting Liam in his place. I don't think he understand or get how much hurt he putting his wife and daughter thu. So i hope he get his act together soon. Thank for the update.
Yeah Liam's a bit hardheaded but thats what family is for. thankss for the review. and il keep em comming.Reviewer: wwefanforlife Signed [Report This]
Date: February 12 2013 11:47 pm
I love Jackson already!! I have to say it again Bella is so precious. Liam as a lot to atone for but I'll let him because he's fine!! Liam is in the Italian mob by way of the United Kingdom? I love this story!!
Thanks and i love Jackson as well. Bella is a gem huh, and Liam could certainly get it. To be honest i havnt given much back round information so im sure people are confused but it will be explained soon dont worry, im still trying to figure it out myself, and somethings will just iron themselves out as well. but im so excited to get back to writing so let me get to it :) Thanks for reading again!!!Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]
Date: February 12 2013 10:14 pm
One more question Jackson is an attorney but Liam is mixed upwith the Mafia this makes for an interesting kinship...makes me wonder what more is there
Yess yes it does. I think im going to go into their familys next chapter. I was going to go to how Liam and Lacey met but i dont think i ended the chapter in the right mannor to do that so well see i guess :) Thanks for reading again.Reviewer: siennagray Signed [Report This]
Date: February 12 2013 08:47 pm
Lol...this chapter was the right mix of comical and angst.
I love your flow. Can't wait for more.
Just curious the names Jackson and Liam do not scream Italian are they biracial in some way.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Its weird i know but it will be explained.. haha Might have been an error by me but no one will ever know forsure will they :) hahaha thanks for reading i appreciate the review and the rate :)Reviewer: siennagray Signed [Report This]
Date: February 12 2013 08:45 pm
Good update . I really like Jackson .
Omg mee too hes my dream guy. and if you see my cast hes a hottie,, im hoping to add that soon dont worry. Thanks for reading :)Reviewer: Stacie Anonymous [Report This]
Date: February 12 2013 08:37 pm
Jackson told his ass, didn't he? Loved it, can't wait for more.
HE DID FOSHO!! somebody needed to get it through Liam's head. although hes on the way these two have a long way to go as well!! Thanks for reading and reviewing. Stay tuned.Reviewer: Elizablu Signed [Report This]
Date: February 12 2013 08:05 pm