I understand you want to keep us in the dark for twists and turns. I don't have a problem with that. I like a good mystery.
Your writing is good, but the or your tone/mood is not smooth, I mean your phrases, comments, and reactions sometimes sound forced. And for readers, you could put thoughts in italics or in apostrophes or single quotes like some writers.
Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed [Report This]Date: August 04 2016 02:55 am
I'm confused but hoping to get some back story for Sally. Still I like this story.
Reviewer: jahchannah Signed [Report This]Date: August 07 2015 03:16 am
Talk about surprise, there is definitely more going on with Sally than meets the eye. However, I am a little bit curious How does the cop who was stalking her fit into all of this? I am truly enjoying this story keep up the good work.
Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]Date: August 07 2015 02:34 am
Looking forward to the next chapter. I love it!!! I read your first story and loved it and enjoy reading the changes you've made to this updated version.
Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]Date: August 06 2015 03:45 pm
Sally 's real name is Lina, what is she running from? Or should I ask whom is she running from? Sally is working my last nerve, she takes teo steps forward then five steps back. What does Sally/Lina have to with Storm's father and God father? So good!
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]Date: August 06 2015 11:59 am