Doesn't Zane think it's strange that all these things are happening to him? That last incident should make him run to the cops.
I like this story. It's different. And everytime he says Hoodie Hero, I just crack up.
Reviewer: BellaChica Anonymous [Report This]Date: November 03 2014 03:43 am
Love it....love at first sight!
Reviewer: Cindi47 Signed [Report This]Date: October 23 2014 01:54 am
They're so cute, I can't wait to read more.
Reviewer: RAPTUSMIND Signed [Report This]Date: October 19 2014 04:41 pm
Zane has got it bad!!
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]Date: October 18 2014 12:30 am
That was cute.
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]Date: October 18 2014 12:28 am
I apologize for the previous comment. I did not realize I clicked on the wrong story. Now to my review. It is a tad confusing the way you switched doesn't points of view during the chapters. There were a some grammatical and punctuation errors, but that can easily be rectified if you read your story aloud. Zane, I don't quite like him just yet. I get that he's a model, but all models aren't vain. I know it is a,part of his job to have a perfect body, but he seems juvenile and shallow for someone that few up with a hard life, but maybe that's how you want him to seem. He reminds me of Zack from "Saved by the Bell" . His Hoodie Hero seems like a cool chick.
Reviewer: Mavs0515 Signed [Report This]Date: October 17 2014 10:18 am
Please indicate on your story this is a Member's Only story that way other readers will know. Thanks :)
Reviewer: Mavs0515 Signed [Report This]Date: October 17 2014 09:49 am
Aww, hell nawl. LOL, he fainted with a hard on. ROFLMAO. Whew, that right there brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you for that. Can't wait for the lessons to start.
Author's Response:
Thank you.
Reviewer: lajack1 Signed [Report This]Date: October 17 2014 05:07 am
I really enjoy Zane's Pov, he's hilarious. That first chapter was brutal, but you got me hooked already.I like this story very much!
Author's Response:
Thank you. I was going for funny. YAY!
Reviewer: Nua Signed [Report This]Date: October 15 2014 10:01 pm
Paragraphs with spaces would make this much easier to read. Formatting is an important part of editing.
Author's Response:
I am well aware of that. Sorry for the difficulty in reading. I have attempted to reformat it properly.
Reviewer: Dinndee Signed [Report This]
Date: October 14 2014 08:58 pm
I really like where you're going with this but it's kinda hard to read. It's like one long paragraph. Maybe break up the structure a bit next time. Good story otherwise.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the compliment.
I fixed the formatting.
Reviewer: Khamalani Signed [Report This]
Date: October 14 2014 05:47 pm
Damn, who set Zane up? Was it his agent? Who was hero with the attack dogs? More please!
Author's Response:
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks.
I have plenty of chapters ready to be typed.
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]
Date: October 14 2014 01:57 pm