I like your story. David knows what he wants.
Reviewer: jjazz59 Signed
[Report This]Date: January 16 2016 04:17 pm
Cute first date!!
Reviewer: Pmgayles Anonymous [Report This]Date: January 13 2016 11:58 am
Ummm, ok. Well that escalated quickly, didn't it? The trajectory of their romance seems...a bit accelerated.
I'm so confused. She's naive about men but as soon as he tells her he's interested, she's on her knees, performing oral sex? I mean, she couldn't wait for the dude to buy her a happy meal at least, or something? Why the hurry to jump each other? The character develoment and story arc seems to have taken a backseat to the writer's eagerness to heat up the page.
Author's Response:
Yeah I can see what you mean. All I can say is sometimes people can get caught up in the heat of the moment, not unlike real life. Not every experience has the same trajectory.
Reviewer: GreenRoots Signed [Report This]Date: January 09 2016 08:03 pm
Damn, and at worK too?
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]Date: January 09 2016 02:48 am
It's on now! great start.
Reviewer: jacqua43 Signed [Report This]Date: January 07 2016 05:27 pm
Shucky, shucky, quack quack!!! It's on now!! More please!!
Reviewer: pmgayles Signed [Report This]Date: January 07 2016 12:35 pm
Haha very cute start.cant wait to learn more about the characters.
Reviewer: intheroar Signed [Report This]Date: January 07 2016 08:41 am