Author's Chapter Notes:
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And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
1997
Aiyana ran as fast as she could. It was as if every tear that fell down her cheeks gave her an energy boost to just run, run far away from here. She had to get away. She had to. She couldn’t live like this anymore. If she had to be stuck in this hell on earth than she would rather be dead. She knocked on the window repeatedly and a pissed off Cherry opened it. “Are you crazy!? Its almost 5 in the morning!”she said. Then they heard someone shouting down the hall. “Come on climb in”she said and Aiyana did so, like so many times. “You don’t look so good”
“Parents fighting again?”Aiyana asked as she wiped her face
“Yea and guess who’s gonna have to clean up the mess”Cherry said with a roll of her eyes as they both heard glass shatter. Cherry’s parents fought a lot and it got so dramatic that it seemed like it was World War 3. “What’s wrong?”she asked her again
Aiyana shook her head just so she can shake away the memories and thoughts that reminded her of what just happened. “Lets just go. We might as well. We both have a lot of money saved up. Lets just go to New York”
“When?”
“Now”
“Now!?”
“Cherry, you always talk about the bullshit with your parents. I'm always complaining about the bullshit with my uncle. We have been dreaming about this for 2 years, lets just go, no one will miss us here”she pleaded. Cherry just stood there in shock. “Come on, I cant do this without you”
“Will you tell me whats wrong?”
“Maybe one day. But I don’t want to bring that bullshit with us. Lets start anew”
Cherry hesitated and then she heard her mother scream and she closed her eyes and winced and then took a deep breath. She then looked at Aiyana, she was pale and nervous. Something happened. “Ok, just….just let me pack”
2009
Aiyana stared at Nicholas as he stood next to the front door. He was eying her suspiciously. He didn’t know what was going through her mind. She looked serious and she was smoking, which was something he hasn’t seen her do ever. “What the fuck is going on?”she demanded
Nicholas sighed. He had to tell her. The truth will set him free and he wanted to be free. He wanted to be free from everything that was holding him back. “I need a divorce”he said simply
Aiyana stared at him in shock. “You need or want a divorce?”
“Both”he said. “I…..I cant-“
“Fine”she said as she put out the cigarette out and grabbed her purse
“Wait-“
“You need a divorce so badly. Lets not waste any time. Sleep in the master….and don’t wait up”she said sternly and walked out the house leaving a stunned Nicholas behind.
*
“Say what!?”Dee Dee asked in shock as she sat up in bed, her husband, Rob, looked at her and then returned back to his book.
“He wants a divorce. No…he needs a divorce because being married to me for the past 5 years makes him want to slit his wrists”
“IS THAT WHAT THE FUCKER SAID!?”Dee Dee shouted and Rob put his book down
“What’s wrong?”Rob asked her but she held up her pointer finger telling him to wait
“No….I….that's just how I feel, that’s what I think he’s thinking….”Aiyana said with a huge sigh, her voice shaking as she tried her best not to breakdown
“Where are you?”
“Just walking, on 14th St, I just needed air, I needed to get away. He needs a divorce so why not start today?”
“Well if he wants a fucking divorce then he should fucking leave. Did he say why?”Dee Dee asked and Rob sat next to her shocked. This seemed more dramatic than those damn reality shows that she recorded.
“No I didn’t give him a chance….I don’t wanna know….”
“Well its getting dark and I don’t want you on the streets just wandering around….hold on”Dee Dee said and put her on mute. “Can Aiyana come over?”
“That’s Aiyana?”Rob asked in shock. “They are getting a divorce!?”
“Yes, she’s just wandering around 14th St. in shock. She wants to be away from him, she’s upset. She needs to stay here”
He sighed, bewildered that his co-worker wanted a divorce. He liked Aiyana and he never knew that they had marital problems, well besides the dinner party fiasco. “For how long? Our couch isn’t that comfortable”
“Just for tonight, I promise. She’s my friend”she said. He nodded reluctantly. Guess that meant he wasn’t getting any tonight. She took her phone off mute. “Ok get on the metro, no better yet, get a cab. I’ll pay for it, just bring your ass over here”
“No I don’t wanna impose-“
“Your not, if you don’t bring your ass here, I will find you myself”Dee Dee said
Aiyana sighed. “Ok….you have wine right?”
“Girl please you know I got a fully stocked bar here”she said,”When me and Rob over here got divorced, I drank that 1800 tequila all by myself”she said. Rob gave her a look and she smiled at him and mouthed,’I still love you’.
Aiyana sighed,”Ok…..thanks Dee”
“Your welcome. You’ll get through this. This is for the better. Hurry up and get over here. I’ll be worried until you do”
*
“What the fuck is going on?”Raven asked Christopher as she stared at him in shock. “You going somewhere?”
“Or you can go. Me or you but I’d rather not waste any-“
“What do you mean!?”Raven yelled at him
“You can go or me. Its over, Raven”
“What do you mean!?”she yelled again
“You’re smart, Rave. You got a B.A. and everything, figure it out”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”
“Am I speaking in a different fucking language!? Fine, I’ll go. I cant stand to look at you-“
“Christopher, I love you, we can talk about-“
“You love me….or Javier!?”he yelled at her and she stood there shocked and quickly shut up. “Yeah, you didn’t think I knew about him, did you? And I didn’t for a long time until the other night when your ass called me and I heard a conversation you were having about me and Brazil and how much you love him!”
“Christopher-“
“LEARN TO LOCK YOUR PHONE! SO WHEN YOU CHEAT ON JAVIER HE WONT FEEL AS STUPID AS I!”
“That’s not fair Christopher-“
“No, what isn’t fair is that you think I am a mooching boyfriend when you know how I’ve been searching endlessly for a job! What isn’t fair is the fact that you weren’t honest! LIAR!”
“I’m not going to listen to this! If you aren’t going to listen to me then I’m not going to listen to you”she said as she walked out the door
“Fine just know that I broke up with you! Ok! You have just been dumped! Have fun in Brazil!”he yelled sarcastically after her and then he slammed the door. He threw his duffel bag filled with clothes across the room and paced….and paced. He then ran to the balcony that overlooked the front parking lot of the apartment complex. He saw Raven approach a guy. That had to be him, that had to be that stupid fuck Javier. He ran to the dresser and got the rest of her lingerie, bras and panties out and threw them over the balcony. “YOU FORGOT SOMETHING YOU FUCKING WHORE!”he yelled down at them. He saw Raven look up and then scramble to pick up her stuff
“STOP ACTING LIKE A CHILD, CHRISTOPHER!”she yelled
“OH YOU WANNA SEE ME ACT LIKE A FUCKING CHILD!?”he yelled and then ran into the kitchen and got out some eggs. “NICE CAR JAVIER! IVE ALWAYS WANTED A FERRARI!”he said. He threw the eggs at his car.
“WHAT THE FUCK!”Raven and Javier yelled
“NICE SEEING YOU BUT YOU OVERSTAYED YOUR WELCOME!”he yelled, thankful that he played baseball in high school and had a strong arm and pitch. He quickly walked inside and a few minutes later he heard a car speed off. He took a couple of deep breaths. “Ok time for some spring cleaning”he said. He threw out everything that belonged to her, pictures of them, any odds and ends that she liked that he didn’t or anything that reminded him of her. The phone started to ring and he ignored it and it went to voicemail.
“Hey this is Raven….and Christopher!....you’ve called the right people at the wrong time so leave a message!”their cheerful voices said and then it beeped. He had to change that ASAP.
“Hello, this message is for Christopher Lee. This is Jamie from Temp Placements, Inc. We reviewed your tests and applications and we find it promising, even though some of the tests are on the low side, which is fine. I have forwarded some of our training programs to your email so your skills in typing and Excel, which seemed to be your weaknesses, can be worked on. We will be looking for jobs for you right away and welcome to the family! If you have any questions, feel free to call or email or stop by the office. If you want to decline us representing you due to another full time offer or another agency, also please let us know. 1-800-TMP-DMV1. Thank you”
If Christopher were in another mood, he would be happy and excited but he was anything but. His life was all about waiting now. He had to wait to get over Raven. He had to wait for a job. He had to wait for another woman to come into his life. He felt like he was stuck in limbo…and he was scared.
*
Aiyana opened her eyes and then sat up. Rob smiled,”Oh sorry to wake you up-“
“What time is it?”she asked
“A few minutes after 7”he said and she got up.
“Hey, where you going?”Dee Dee asked her as she walked out of the kitchen and gave Rob his plate of food, which surprised Aiyana. Dee Dee didn’t seem like the housewife who woke up just after dawn to cook breakfast for her hubby. “You want some Eggo’s?”she asked her. Or maybe she was right…
Aiyana smiled weakly,”I gotta go to work”
“You should take the day off-“
“We are busy. My assistant will quit if I don’t show up-“
“You don’t need anymore added stress”Dee Dee said
“I need something to take my mind off this”
“What if he’s there?”
“He leaves at around 7:15. I should miss him”
“Where are you going to stay?”Dee Dee asked
“Hun, let her alone”Rob said to her. “Look, I’ll talk to him-“
“No please don’t. Don’t do me any favors. He wants a divorce and he’s gonna get it. Im done”Aiyana said as she got her purse and shoes on. “Thank you both for being so generous but I gotta work on being a single working woman now”
A few minutes after some more of Dee Dee trying to convince her to stay, she finally left. She hailed a cab and headed home. She wanted to take a nice bath but she had just enough time to take a good hot shower. They arrived and she paid the driver and got out of the car and didn’t notice a non familiar car parked in front of their house. She walked up and then saw Nicholas walk out of the house with luggage…..and a woman behind him. She stood there in shock. Really? Seriously?! Then she took a good look at the woman’s face and she gasped,”Brenda?!”
*
1995
Aiyana yawned as she put her things in her locker. She so didn’t want to be at school today. She had to get used to her new late night work schedule but she was grateful for it. She closed her locker and turned to her left and there was Brenda. “Whoa…hey”
“We need to talk”Brenda said with her arms folded across her chest
“You look pissed. Who pooped in your Cheerios?”Aiyana asked with a laugh to keep things light
“You did”Brenda said. “There are rumors going around about you”
“When did you start listening to rumors, Bren?”
“When they started being true”Brenda said. “People are talking about how you and Cherry were at some college freshman’s house last weekend. You were hired to dance with barely anything on like you two were Madonna! You all were drunk and high!” Aiyana just scoffed. “Also it seems that you and Cherry do this all the time. Are you….”Brenda paused and looked around and then whispered,”…a prostitute?!”
“Ohmygod, Bren, you make straight A’s. Use some common sense”
“I am. I'm getting it from the horse's mouth because everyone knows you were my best friend. They think I know what you have been up to. Is this why you don’t hang out with me anymore!?”
“No, we haven’t hung out because you are busy with your FBLA meetings and homework and PSAT’s and you have a bedtime. I'm not doing any of that stuff”
“Yeah, you are stripping with the school whore!”Brenda said, referring to Cherry
“Look, you don’t know Cherry like that, so shut up. If your just jealous, just say so”
“I'm not jealous”
“Fine, then come out and hang out with me and Cherry after school. We are going to see that new Keanu Reeves movie-“
“I don’t want to hang out with her because I know how she is. And you did too and now your acting just like her….and dressing just like her”Brenda said as she looked Aiyana up and down. She had on a brown and yellow striped mid-riffed shirt that showed too much belly, a brown mini skirt that showed too much leg and brown Doc Martens. She was dressed too grown compared to her Tweety t-shirt, jean shorts and Jelly sandals.
“I like how I dress. At least I don’t look like a 5 year old”
“You know what? Forget it. I was trying to warn you. Everyone thinks that you are just like Cherry because you hang out with her so much. I'm done trying to protect you. You are on your own”
“I don’t need to be protected, Bren, I can take care of myself. I need support and real friends. Fine, I don’t want to be friends with a stuck up bitch like you”Aiyana said to her
“Well, I don’t want to be friends with the school slut”Brenda hissed and walked off
2009
Aiyana and Brenda stared at each other in shock, they both were remembering their last conversation they had. The one where Brenda basically called her a slut and written her off. And now she was helping her husband move out!? “What the fuck, Brenda!?”
Nicholas eyes widened. “Wait, you know her?”
“We used to be best friends in high school, Nicholas, remember I told you about the bitch who called me a slut? That’s her!”she said as she pointed at Brenda
“It’s a coincidence. I didn’t know this was THAT Brenda”Nicholas pleaded
“What the fuck you mean THAT Brenda?!”Brenda asked him
“Yeah who’s the slut now!?”Aiyana said
“Aiyana, please don’t make a scene. I was trying to get out of here before you came back-“
“Yeah like a coward. Own up to your shit, Nicholas. Your leaving with her? You been cheating on me again with this one now!?”
“He doesn’t have to explain anything to you-“
“Shut the fuck up Brenda. Nicholas is still my husband, in case you didn’t know. Hold your fucking horses, you can fuck him later when I'm done with him”Aiyana said to Brenda. “Tell me the truth for once, Nicholas. You want a divorce because you fucking her now and all of a sudden your guilty about it?!”
“I want a divorce because we are different people now. We have been through a lot with my infidelity, the miscarriage, your relapse. We are different now and its too late to repair all the damage. I need someone with no drama. I need someone with the same goals as mine-“
“HA!”Aiyana said. “You two are perfect for each other! Two stuck up perfectionists that only care about promotions and dinner parties! Fine, have a nice life”Aiyana said as she walked toward the front door. If she stood there any longer she was going to set them both on fire. She needed to walk away before she did something that she would regret.
“Aiyana, we both aren’t happy. You know that”Nicholas said to her. “I'm letting you go so you can be happy again”
“No, your giving up on us so you can”Aiyana said and then slammed the door behind her
*
I want you to know, that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother
Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive
*
Chapter End Notes:
Featured Song: "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morrisette