Author's Chapter Notes:
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Gabriel never knew that he could hate performing as much as he did that night. When he and Lucio walked onstage with their tuxedos, white gloves and cane, top hat and blackface makeup, the crowd applauded. They unfortunately loved it as they sang their songs and did their dance numbers. Gabriel wanted to throw up. He couldn’t believe that he had to resort to this to feed his family. He then thought of Salomi and her lovely caramel skin. Her mother had been half black and so was she, he felt like he was betraying her. What was worse was that he and Lucio performed the same routine 4 times that night. By the end of their last performance, the two made $3 each from coins thrown onstage by the audience. Gabriel didn’t hesitate to wash the blackface off, feeling disgusted for having put it on in the first place. Paul congratulated them and called them “the best minstrel performers, hell, the best actors that ‘blackface’ had to offer”. He paid them their nightly pay of $1.15 and they both went on their way, walking out into the freezing December weather.
Gabriel felt the $4.15 in his pocket and wanted to throw it, burn it. But he knew that he would need it to buy food and save it for rent. He threw up several times as he walked the few blocks home at 2 am. He let himself in and he saw his three children sleeping with Salomi. It was very cold in the apartment. Salomi woke up when she heard him walk in,”Hey”she said softly
“Hey….its cold”he said as he shivered
“Our water heater broke”she said sadly as she held the three children to her. He climbed into the small bed with her and held the four of them tight, hoping his body heat would warm them. “We’ll be able to fix it soon with your job at the bar”she said hopefully
“Yeah…maybe”he said sadly
“Im glad you found it. We are very lucky that you found it”she said. Even though he wasn’t looking forward to it, he hated his job and wanted to quit. But he couldn’t.
“I love you Salomi”he said
“I love you too Gabriel”she said and soon fell back asleep. However, he never did.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
“Mother! Why do we have to be poor now!?”Dahlia shouted at her,”I want my toys back mother!”
“You wont be getting anything but a spanking Dahlia, now cut it out!”Salomi shouted back at her. Dahlia continued to scream and cry and soon Salomi couldn’t take it anymore. She spanked Dahlia repeatedly and put her in the bedroom and the screams and yells continued. “You better quiet down in there! Or you’ll be getting another spanking Dahlia I mean it!”Salomi shouted at her through the door.
“NOOOOOO!”Dahlia shouted back
“If your not quiet by the time I count to three, Rita and Michael will be the only children in this house to get presents from Santa!”Salomi yelled, “1…!” But before she could reach 2, Dahlia shut herself up. Threatening her about Santa always seemed to do the job. Christmas was a few weeks away however, and they had no money for presents. Salomi sewed a dress for Rita, it was pink and Ruth was working on a ballerina pattern to put on it. She was in the middle of making a doll for Dahlia, but she had a feeling the ungrateful child would be well….ungrateful. It seemed that since Dorothy and Jules’ death, she seemed to get worse than she already was. Everyday she was in timeout and she didn’t know what to do. She hit the child more now and they both shouted at each other and that wasn’t right. “What should I do?”she asked Ruth
“She needs to be around other children. Everything has been taken from her and you have to admit that shes been very spoiled. But she doesn’t understand that. She feels like shes being punished and she acts out and in turn gets her more punishment. It’s a vicious cycle. The poor thing is only 4 years old. All she has ever known were expensive toys and a luxurious apartment”Ruth suggested. “Are there other children around?”
Salomi shrugged,”I never leave, its too cold. I haven’t met any neighbors. Its going to be hard getting used to this”she said as she gestured to the bare and freezing apartment. “How’s Robin?”
“Not good. We’re not going to be able to pay rent the way things are going”Ruth said sadly
“No one is able to pay rent the way things are going”Salomi said. “I wish something could be done. This is ridiculous. I mean this time last year we were….my neck was drowning in diamonds. Now I can barely afford a scarf-“
“Don’t think about it. Just knit new ones”Ruth said as she got out her kit and started working on a blanket that she had started on days before. Salomi proceeded to mash the one potato they had left. It wasn’t going to feed the four of them. The children would split it and she would have to starve…again.
Soon Rita and Michael walked in and Michael ran straight to Salomi and began to cry. Salomi hugged him close and beckoned Rita to come to her,”What happened?”she asked her
“He misses that Emily girl. She hasn’t been back to school in a long time. Neither has Kit or Nicky. We miss everyone and my class is packed full with all these kids. His barely has any”Rita said
Salomi nodded,”Emily is alright Michael. Shes not hurt or anything. She just cant afford to go to school. Her mother is probably doing all she can to help her. She’ll be alright. Do you want me to help you write a letter to her?”she said to him. He looked up at her and nodded yes. “Go get a pencil and paper”she said and he wiped his tears and went in search for one. She looked at Rita and hugged her close,”Thank you for taking care of him. Your growing up to be a very responsible girl”she said as she looked into Rita’s bright blue eyes and stroked her blonde hair. When she was pregnant with Rita, she had a feeling that she would turn everything around for them. And she did. She smiled at her,”I love you Rita”
“I love you too mother”Rita said sadly but didn’t return the smile
“Is something wrong?”Salomi asked her. “Would you like to write a letter to Kit?”
“No, they never answer. I think they moved again”Rita said
“Well I’ll make sure to look around when I have time”
“Thanks mother”Rita said sadly
“Well, what is it sweetheart?”she asked her as Michael found a scrap of paper and a pencil and came back over to them.
“I heard they might close our school mother. Is that true?”she asked. Why did everything have to close? Why did everyone have to die? Her ballet school closed and now she cant dance. Kit’s father died and now she cant even see them. Aunt Dorothy and Uncle Jules were dead too and she missed them very much. Why was everything bad happening to them?
“Where did you hear that from?”Salomi asked
“I heard teachers talking about it. They were very upset. They were saying very bad words and someone named Hoover isn’t helping us”
Salomi nodded. Many believed that President Hoover was responsible for this but who knew. However, she did agree that he wasn’t helping. But if teachers were talking about it, it could be true. Anything could be these days. Banks, businesses, even food stores were closing. “I honestly don’t know Rita. I hope not. But if it does happen, you’ll get more time with me”she said, trying to cheer her up but instantly regretted it. These days she didn’t know how to comfort her children. She couldn’t say no, because they very well could and she didn’t want to be seen as a liar. She couldn’t even lie to protect her children anymore.
“That would be nice”Michael said with a small smile as he held out a pencil and pen and Salomi sat down on the small uncomfortable loveseat with them. “Dear Emily”he said to himself as he wrote it and spelled it correctly.
“Very good”Salomi said with a smile. “Now what do you want to say?”she asked him as she held Rita close to her. Ruth smiled as she watched them and continued to knit.
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
“Maybe I shouldn’t perform today”Gabriel suggested and then coughed some more. Normally he would never have suggested not performing because he was ill. He would still dance if he had a broken leg because he used to have a passion and a love for what he was doing. But he hated this. Now he wanted any excuse to get away.
“Out of the question”Paul said. “I hope those damn bitches didn’t give you the measles”he said.
“Who?”Gabriel asked
“The dancers. You know, the ones who shake their asses, wear nothing. Many of them stare at you, you know. I can tell. You didn’t catch the measles from getting too close to some of them have you?”
“No, I barely know any of them. Im happily married, Paul”
“I know, I would be too”Paul said. “I’ll get you some whiskey, that can clear you right up. You can at least sweat it out. When you get home, turn up the heat, take a bath”
“I cant….”Gabriel mumbled to himself, thinking he didn’t hear
“What do you mean, you cant?”
“I live in a shithole now Paul. Our water heater broke and I cant afford to fix it. I cant take a bath because my family and I share a bathtub with 10 other families…..”he explained and then coughed
Paul frowned,”I didn’t know that you were going through such dire straits…”he said, concerned
“Paul, somethings wrong with that new register again”someone said as they ran up to him
“Goddamn it. Can any of you do anything around here without me!?”he said,”Im coming”he told them and they ran off. He looked at Gabriel and then at his watch,”I’ll have someone bring you some shots of Jack. That does the trick”
“Thank you Paul”Gabriel said
“Oh and after your last performance, come find me alright? We’re going to need to talk”Paul said. Gabriel nodded and then reluctantly went into his dressing room and got dressed. He looked at the shoe polish and wanted to vomit. He didn’t know how he could put this stuff on and take it off every night over the last few weeks.
“Your shots of Jack sir”a black boy said as he knocked on the door. Lucio got up and opened the door before Gabriel could get to it.
“I didn’t order any fucking Jack, you nigger, now get! Im trying to get into character here!”Lucio shouted at him
“That’s enough Lucio!”Gabriel said to him sternly. “The Jack is mine”he said. Lucio just shook his head and sat down and continued to put on his makeup. Gabriel looked at the boy,”Thanks kid. Im sorry about him” But the kid only nodded. “Whats your name?”he asked him
“People call me Buck”he said shyly
“Thanks Buck”Gabriel said and gave him a penny,”For your trouble”he said. Buck smiled and left and Gabriel closed the door behind him.
“Why you making nice with the niggers?”Lucio asked
Gabriel took a deep breath and then took a shot,”Why not? Hes a human being, just like us” Lucio snorted in response and Gabriel resisted the urge to pummel him. “Can you not call them niggers…at least when Im around….it disturbs me. I cant get into character when you yell like that”he asked calmly, but strong and straight forward.
“I guess I can”Lucio grumbled, wondering why Gabriel was getting all soft now.
“Thank you”Gabriel replied. He finished his shots and he had to admit that he felt better….physically. But mentally, he thought he would go crazy if he had to step on that stage again. But he did. Shoe polish and all and again, they were showered in tips. At the rate he was going, he would have enough for rent at least. At least that was good. At the end of the night, he didn’t hesitate to take the shoe polish off his face and he hurried to see Paul. He wanted to get out of here as soon as possible,”You wanted to see me Paul?”he asked him
“How many children you got Gabe?”Paul asked as he smoked a cigar,”Oh great job by the way”he said as he handed him his nightly wage. “They love you”
“I have 3 children Paul. Rita’s going to be 7 in a few days, Michael is 5 and Dahlia is 4”he said, ignoring the compliment
“Damn, you didn’t waste any time with the wife huh?”Paul asked with a laugh
“Guess not, well I should get going, speaking of. I need to get home to them-“
“You know its such a shame whats going on right now. I cant believe that people like you have to resort to things like driving cabs, selling apples, shit that no one wants to do. I’d say you lucked out but…things could be better eh?”Paul asked him. Gabriel just nodded. This was also something on his ‘shit that no one wants to do’ list but he had to hold his tongue. “Follow me”he said as he went to his office and Gabriel obediently followed him. He walked in and Paul closed the door behind them. “I hate to see you struggle Gabe”
“Well Im trying my best Paul. That’s what we have to do”Gabriel said as Paul went behind his desk and picked up a bag and handed it to him. “Whats this?”he asked
“A blanket and some food. Sometimes I sleep here, sometimes I eat here. This place is home to me. And my wife don’t mind because shes sleeping with angels”Paul said sadly. “However, you need this more than I do”
“Oh no Paul-“
“Hey, it’s a fucking gift. Take it and say thank you. This is not a good time to have pride stand in your way”he said
Gabriel nodded,”Thank you Paul. But you didn’t have to”
“Don’t mention it”Paul said as he lit another cigar,”Now get out of here and get better goddamn it. We both will lose if you take a day off”
“I will. Thank you Paul, thank you”he said as he hugged Paul. This guy was a good man.
“Oh….and one more thing”Paul said as he released him,”Don’t mention any of this to the niggers alright? Lucio says you make nice with them, I don’t care if you do, but don’t tell em you got this from me alright? They’re a bunch of free loaders and they always beggin me for something”he grumbled.
Gabriel sighed and just nodded and then walked out of his office. He couldn’t believe that people could be so racist. He just didn’t understand it. It was almost 1930. Times are changing, maybe for the worst but they were changing. Why couldn’t people see that color didn’t give a damn anymore? He was confused at how Paul could be heaven sent as well as Satan. Gabriel held the bag close to him and hurried home in the freezing night air, throwing up along the way like he always did.
When he got home, Salomi was awake and Dahlia was asleep in her lap. She had a damp cloth on her head. “Hey baby”she said
“Hey…whats wrong?”he asked, seeing the worried look on her face.
“Dahlia’s got a fever. That could be the reason why shes been causing a ruckus”Salomi said but she knew that wasn’t the case. “I don’t know what to do, its getting worse. She finally cried herself to sleep”Salomi said
“Where are the other two?”Gabriel asked
“Asleep”she said as she nodded her head toward the bedroom. Gabriel peeked his head in and Rita and Michael were snuggled close together, both wearing their winter coats and clothes, even shoes. He kissed them both on their foreheads. “They just fell asleep too”Salomi said,”Its hard to sleep these days”she said
“Well maybe this will help”Gabriel said as he opened the bag and pulled out a blanket. It was huge and made of wool and very thick. He was surprised himself when he saw it
“Gabe!”Salomi whispered excitedly, trying not to wake Dahlia. “Where did you get that?”
“Paul gave it to me. Ive still got that cough and hes been worried about me. He thinks our situation very unfortunate and gave me this bag, he says he doesn’t need it”
Salomi carefully eased Dahlia off her lap and stood up and hugged Gabriel close,”Oh this new job of yours is heaven sent! It’s a miracle. Tell him thank you”she said as she wrapped Dahlia up in it. “Oh this could keep all three of them warm, its so big!”she said. Gabriel also pulled out a bottle of milk, bread, apples and two potatoes, “Oh this is a feast!”Salomi said with tears in her eyes and hugged Gabriel again,”I was so afraid, the children ate the last potato today”
“What about you?”
“I haven’t eaten since…Wednesday”Salomi said. Gabriel sighed, they both looked thinner. With him throwing up every night and her not eating at all, they lost a considerable amount of weight and their clothes seemed to hang on them now.
“That isn’t good. We need to be healthy for their sake”he said, indicating the children and he gave her an apple. “Eat”he said as he put the rest of the food away and then laid Dahlia in bed with Rita and Michael, applied a new rag to her forehead and covered them with the blanket. He sat next to Salomi as she hungrily ate. He wasn’t hungry, he never was anymore.
“Whats that on your face?”she asked him as she wiped some shoe polish off of it
“Its nothing”he said hurriedly
“Alright”she said as she laid her head on his shoulder,”I need to meet Paul. He’s a guardian angel” Gabriel only mumbled in reply, wishing it were true.
*__________________________*