NOW 

THEN

Cameron - Summer 2011 

If the drastic change in climate wasn’t enough to remind Cameron she was home in Louisiana, the constant waving from strangers would most certainly do so.  Three times, men and women bombarded her from afar with bright smiles and tiny, yet evident beckons of southern hospitality.  The gesture forced an unexpected smile to splash over her mouth as she and her two large suitcases boarded the airport shuttle to the car rental facility.  It was a nice change of pace being on home soil.  She shuffled as quickly as she could in her black stilettos to the nearest empty seat, plopped down and instantly regretted that large cinnamon roll she ate as they taxied along the runway for an additional twenty minutes, awaiting the opening of an available gate.  She was about to burst out of her pants suit and mentally kicked herself for it.  Who in their right mind would sport a business suit on a non business trip? She was home to visit her family and attend her friend’s wedding, not strike up a branding deal with a new manufacturer of surf wear.  What was she thinking?

The five minute drive to car rentals brought on a sigh of relief, as she hoped her discomfort would come to a halt once she received her rental.  A little release from unbuttoning the top of her pants would do the trick.  She slowly made her way from the shuttle, fumbling a bit with her oversized luggage and hand bag.  Travelling was not her forte but in this day and age it was inevitable.  She felt uncomfortable and unprepared as she struggled to get herself together before making it to the check out desk.  One of the wheels on her luggage somehow became trapped in a deep crack in the cheap ceramic tile of the lobby flooring and not paying attention, she found herself immobilized by a tall, broad figure.  Immediately remorseful, Cameron slowly scanned the chest of her road block like a doe caught in headlights, locking her dark coffee colored eyes on a pair of lovely, familiar light brown ones.

“Philip,” Cameron uttered just above a whisper, her brow furrowing in disbelief and confusion.  Was it really him, in the flesh?

“Cam,” Philip replied with a broad smile plastered across his face.  He looked the same.  Same gorgeous smile, perfect skin, cute nose, bright engaging eyes and yet Cameron wanted nothing more than to punch and some how damage that beautiful face of his.

“What are you doing here,” they asked simultaneously.  Cameron immediately freed up one of her hands to push a nagging piece of hair behind her ear.  She must have looked a hot mess and why could she not stop sweating?

Cameron took in a deep breath, composing her self from the shock of encountering Philip at the airport of all places and after all these years, though him being there wasn’t really a shock.  She’d expected it.  Maybe even hoped for it. 

“Um, I’m here for –” Cameron began.

“The wedding,” Philip completed her sentence.  “I’m the best man and I can only assume you’re Nina’s Matron –”

“Maid of honor,” Cameron quickly corrected him, almost losing grip of the luggage handles, her nerves getting the best of her.

“You’re not married,” he asked surprised, grabbing one of the bags from her grasp.

“No I am not,” she replied, trying desperately to get a glimpse at his wedding ring finger, without him noticing, as they made their way towards the counter.  No band.  Not so shocking.

“I had no idea you’d –”

“Neither did I,” Cameron interrupted with a lie of her own.  Nina in her usual round about way alluded to Philip being in attendance to the wedding but his announcement of being the best man was a bit of a shock.  Had he been speaking with Greg all this time and no one knew about it? Nina would be receiving a call in regards to this omission of information.  Fidgeting a bit with her purse before collecting herself yet again, Cameron looked Philip in the eyes and without resistance spoke the most honest, sincere words she could in that very moment without displaying too much emotion.  “It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” Philip replied, staring down at Cameron, smiling and making her feel even more awkward and clammy than before.  She felt like sweat poured down her body, forming a puddle on the floor around her.  She later concluded that it wasn’t the humidity so much as Philip’s remarkable, make anyone melt, smile that had her body temperature in a frenzy.

“I mean, it’s been ages since, I don’t know, anyone has seen you,” Cameron rushed out in her best attempt at being cordial, though it really came out in a polite fury of anger and frustration. 

Philip opened his mouth to speak but promptly closed it, opting for silence Cameron noted.  He was always good at reading through her feeble attempts of being tactful.  She was blunt to a fault and no one knew that better than him.

“Ma’am, sir,” the young lady behind the counter interjected, smacking a large pink blob of gum.  “How may I help you?”

Cameron and Philip both looked at the girl behind the counter before turning their attention back towards one another, awkward silence looming in the space separating them.  Philip nodded and stepped back behind Cameron, allowing her to pick up her rental first.  Ever the gentleman, she thought as she handed the young lady her reservation number.  She stood there, stiff as a sculpted piece of artwork, watching the girl prepare the rental agreement forms, daring herself not to turn around and speak to Philip.  She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that she cared that much about him.  Not even a little.

After signing the forms, Cameron swiped the keys from the glass transaction top and made her way past Philip without a look or word of acknowledgement.

“See ya soon Cam,” he called out to her as she power walked towards the rental car garage.  She spun her head around and shook it in affirmation before disappearing through the side door.  And there, in the lobby of the car rental facility he had her again with his boyish charms, as she left him behind without saying a word.

Philip - Summer 2011  

After a series of berating comments to the young lady at car rentals in regards to the rudeness of her chewing and smacking her bubble gum while servicing customers, Philip finally got the keys to the car and headed towards the parking garage, Cameron fresh on his mind.  She was as beautiful as she was the last time he saw her but more mature and womanly than before.  Perhaps she’d filled out some from her board straight athletic days of high school.  Now she was curvy in all the right places as he could tell even though she was wearing a business suit, which he found a little odd but there was probably a reason behind her wearing that.  He wanted to talk to her but could sense the urgency in her to excuse herself from his presence, so he thought better of keeping her there with small talk and there was the blatant no one seeing him in ages comment to consider as well.  She was as polite as ever but he could definitely tell that something about him was bothering her.  They’d get to the root of that before the two weeks were up.

Never one to ride in silence, he promptly pulled out his iPod, plugged it into the jack and the nasal inflections of Ad Rock’s voice, surrounded by heavy guitar riffs, pulsed through the speakers.

Good times gone and you missed them... 

Boy, were those lyrics ever true.  It was nice being home again.  He let the top down on the mustang convertible, welcoming the fresh yet humid air.  Everything from the people to the food to the weather was different in Louisiana from Boston and he realized he quite missed it, pondering what it would be like to move back here after all this time.  He hadn’t been back in about five years but when he came, he was only there a brief moment to meet his parents and take them on a trip to the Bahamas for their fortieth wedding anniversary.  He’d be home for a solid two weeks to help Greg and Nina prepare for the wedding and thought he’d take in as much of home as he could before heading back north.

Listening to the Beasties struck a chord in his mind, taking him back to a simpler time in his life; a time when Cameron Austin was almost always at the center of his life.  He remembered them arguing over which Beastie Boy’s album was better: Paul’s Boutique or Check Your Head.  In his mind, Paul’s Boutique was a “casual” Beastie fan favorite but a true Beastie fan knew the greatness of Check Your Head.  The guys went back to the punk rock style of their earlier EP’s and it was the first time they’d played their own instruments on all of the tracks and they promoted the album by touring with the Rolling Stones.  It was a milestone album for the Beasties.  With all those valid points, Cameron caved and decided he was right, which was a feat in itself.  The girl was a rock, immovable and solid when it came to her opinion on just about everything but if one could convince her with facts and numbers, they had a good chance of swaying her.

Her firmness and honesty in not backing down from anything or anyone was what really drew Philip to her.  His first day in town and kindergarten was when they first met and he had the luxury of sitting between Cameron and Vanessa Shelton (the teachers loved making them sit boy, girl, boy, girl… back in the day).  Vanessa was spoiled and always had to have her way, so when Cameron unknowingly sat in her seat, she threw the biggest tantrum Philip had ever witnessed.  She began to shriek and grabbed Cameron as hard as she could, attempting to pull her out of her desk chair but little did Vanessa know who she was fooling with.  Cameron, though tiny, wouldn’t budge and to stop Vanessa from yanking her arm out of her socket, she stomped her toes with the heel of her shoe and dug her fingers into Vanessa’s arm.  Vanessa yelped even loader and ran to tell Miss Conner.  When the teacher got there Cameron, much to Philip’s surprise, told her exactly what happened, what Vanessa did and what she did in self defense.  (She actually told the teacher it was self defense.)  Cameron got in trouble but Vanessa (and no one else for that matter) tried anything with Cameron after that.  Later on, during recess, Philip couldn’t resist and asked her why she told the teacher the truth about everything and she replied with a straight face, “Because, that’s what God wants us to do.”  Puzzled at the moment about her reply, he went on to play with some of the other boys in their class but her answer never left him.  It wasn’t until later that year he found out that her father was the preacher at the black Baptist church on the other side of town, the comment making much more sense.

After that he became fascinated with her and he supposed she too became fascinated with him, as they were always together from that point on.

The buzzing of the cell phone in his pocket alerted, bringing him back to reality.  He glanced down at the lit up screen to see Greg’s name flashing in neon blue.

“What up,” he spoke into the receiver.

In a hushed voice, Greg rushed out, “I’m going to die because you’re stupid and I need you to get here right now and take me out of my misery.”

“What,” Philip asked slightly confused.  “Where are you and why are you whispering?”

“I’m hiding from Nina and her fierce case of wrath at the moment while you’re cruising around blasting Check Your Head with the top down of a mustang convertible I presume.”

“Cam called Nina and told her we ran into each other at the airport,” Philip asked, knowing exactly where this was headed.  “And did you just use the word fierce.”

“Yes and now Nina’s all upset with me for… I don’t even know why she’s upset with me.  I didn’t do anything.  I’m getting yelled at when it should be you.  I need to be freed.  Get me outta Nina’s slave house on the plantation, also known as our back yard shed.”

“Says the guy about to marry Nina.”

“Shut up,” Greg replied.  “She’s only like this because it’s Cameron.  And Cameron’s all crazy mad at you and you and I are best friends and it’s getting all kinds of ugly around these parts because of your very presence.  Tell me again why I asked you to be my best man?”

“Because, I’m the coolest best friend and dude you’ve ever met in your entire life,” Philip answered with a laugh before continuing.  “Crazy mad?  Why is she crazy mad at me? She didn’t seem crazy mad when I ran into her at the car rental place.”

“Oh, she wasn’t, huh?”  Greg scoffed in assuredness.  “Well prepare yourself for natural disaster Cameron.  It’s the calm before the storm man, and you’re the landing target.  I’ll meet you at Louie’s in ten minutes to discuss a game plan of diversion for the next two weeks.  And for the record, you were second choice for best man.  My brother Charles couldn’t do it because his wife’s due date is our wedding day.  So that would make you the second coolest dude I’ve ever met in my entire life.  See ya in ten.”

“Wait, what do you mean by second coolest dude and calm before the storm and landing target and plan of diversion? Not one of those phrases sound good to me,” Philip uttered nervously into the receiver but Greg was already long gone.

She couldn’t possibly still be mad at him for something that happened almost fifteen years ago, could she? He knew the answer to this question but opted to ignore it, at least for the moment.  He’d cross that bridge when it was time.  For now, he was going home to see his parents and younger brother, settle into his old bedroom and grab a beer to discuss awkward encounter strategy with the groom.

Cameron - Summer 1997 

By the time Cameron made it to Nina’s house there was no place to park out front, so she drove her pick up truck around back and parked behind Nina’s convertible.  Laughter and loud talking assaulted Cameron’s ears as she hopped out of the truck and made her way towards the side gate leading to the backyard and pool area.  This was the last summer party before their senior year and Nina sort of wanted to go out with a bang.

The humidity fostered the need for Cameron’s tank top to cling to her body.  Gotta love Louisiana summers, she thought as she walked into the crowd of classmates greeting her.  They were hotter than hell and a mosquito’s paradise.  She walked up to Nina and wrapped her arms around her neck.

“Oh my God,” Nina replied slightly repulsed, pulling away from Cameron’s embrace rather abruptly.  “Sweat much?”

“Ah,” Cameron exclaimed.  “No air conditioner in the truck, duh.  And you can blame my dad.  He sweats more than the football team.  It’s genetic.”

“Yeah well, take your sweaty self in the kitchen and grab those buckets of crawfish for the trough,” Nina demanded, giving Cameron a little push in the back towards the kitchen.

“Snob,” Cameron called over her shoulder before crossing the threshold of the lavish kitchen.  Nina’s dad was a big time lawyer in their town and made sure he flaunted his money any chance he got.  Nina got a brand new Mitsubishi Eclipse convertible for her sixteenth birthday, while most kids that age bummed rides or rolled out in scraps of metal Caprices or rusted old Ford pick up trucks, Cameron falling into the latter category.

Cameron bobbed her head to the beat, humming along to the song while she drained the remaining pot of crawfish boiling on the stove.

 “You love me now but you’ll hate me soon…”  

“… in the light of a darker moon,” a male voice joined in, causing Cameron to spin around herself.  A wide smile appeared across her face as she leapt into the guy’s arms, pulling him tight into her grasp.

“Philip,” Cameron shrieked.  “You’re back.  Oh, thank God you’re back.”

“Miss me much,” Philip asked into the top of Cameron’s wiry curled hair, reciprocating the embrace.  Pulling away, Philip scanned Cameron’s face, his hands still hanging on to her hips.

“You have no idea.   It just wasn’t the same without ya.”

“You look different Cam,” Philip spoke suddenly, still examining Cameron’s face.

“What,” she frowned, shaking her head.  She hoped she looked alright.  She didn’t do anything new to herself.  Maybe it was the new curl enhancing product she started using this summer.  “How… different?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed.  “You just… look different.  It’s a good different.”

“I think it’s just cause you haven’t seen me in two months.  By the way, how was Mississippi?”

“Same old, same old.  Caught some bass, swam a lot.  Got to drive the tractor a lot.  My grandpa is gettin’ old.  It’s kinda weird.  I’m glad I got to spend some time with him, though.”

“Well, that’s good.  We’re glad you’re back though.  I’m glad your back.”  Cameron giggled.  “I actually babysat Justin the whole summer while you were gone, so…”

“You spent the entire summer watching my brother?”

“Yep,” Cameron affirmed.  “We had a blast too.  Swimming everyday and watching movies.  Baking cookies and cupcakes. He’s such a great kid.”

Philip smiled, only time and admiration for one another passing between the two for a little while and suddenly his smile faded into a thin, straight line, his brow furrowing ever so weakly.

“So, I got something to tell you,” Philip spoke low, drawing Cameron closer to him near the kitchen island.  Serious eyes held Cameron’s gaze and she knew he had something really important to tell her. 

“What’s up,” Cameron asked, truly concerned about the words on the brim of spilling from his mouth.

“Remember last year when my parents dropped the bomb on me that I was adopted?”

All she could do was nod in response as she hopped up on the kitchen island.  What could this possibly lead to? She hoped desperately that he wasn’t going to tell her that he was moving to live with his biological mother or something crazy like that.  Philip’s hands firmly gripped the tiled counter top on either side of Cameron as she stared at the top of his tousled sandy brown hair.  It was messy and that’s the way he liked it.

“Well, I found my biological mom.  She lives in Massachusetts and told me I could come and visit her after this school year’s done if I wanted.”  He looked, studying Cameron’s face for affirmation.

“Really,” was all Cameron could muster to say.  A million words of pleas for him to stay and admissions of I love you lodged themselves at the base of her throat.  Would she lose him now with him knowing who his real mother was? Would he leave Louisiana for a life in Massachusetts? Leave her behind.

“I’m not sure what to do, you know.  A part of me wants to meet her and get to know her.  Get an understanding as to why she felt she had to give me up.  Was she too young, had psycho parents that wouldn’t tolerate a pregnant teenager? And the other part of me is ticked off for not knowing all this time I was adopted but thankful I wasn’t placed in the system.  My mom told me she’d wanted to tell me from the moment she thought I’d be able to comprehend  but my dad was adamant about me not knowing until I was much older,” he went on, worry beginning to surface on his face.  “I don’t know what to do Cam. What do you think?”

“I’m at a loss for words Philip.”

“That’s a rare thing,” he stifled a laugh.

“Shut up,” Cameron said with a slight smirk.  She perched her elbow on her knee and covered her hand over her mouth, contemplating what to say next.  “I’m so sorry.  I actually don’t know what to say to you, only that whatever you decide to do I’m behind you one hundred percent.”

“Really,” he asked, his eyes meeting hers once more.  “Would you go with me to see her?”

Cameron’s eyes bulged in surprise, “You want me to go with you?”

“Yeah, why not,” he asked with a shrug of his shoulders.  “I’ve already talked to her about you and Justin and my mom and dad.”

“You’ve not only found her but you’ve already spoken with her? Like actual communication on multiple occasions has occurred?”

“Yeah.  All summer long actually.  I wrote her a letter right after we got out of school and shortly after, she called me and we’ve been talking ever since.”

“Do your mom and dad know you’ve been in contact with your real mom? I mean, what does Ms. Nadine think?”

“Mom actually encouraged me to get in touch with her by writing the letter.”

Cameron’s eyes bulged once more at this new detail.  Maybe this was the end of their relationship.  His real mother was probably everything Philip dreamed of and Massachusetts was probably pretty appealing to him too.  How would Cameron fit into Philip’s new life three thousand miles away? Snapping back to reality, Cameron came to her senses.  She was clearly jumping to conclusions.  There was no way of telling what this new endeavor would lead to.  She’d be there for Philip in any capacity he needed her to be and take this new development one day at a time.

“Well, if Ms. Nadine is on board, you can count me in.”

“For real Cam,” Philip asked, clearly excited about her response.  “That is awesome.  I wanted to tell you when I first started talking to my real mom but was a little scared.  By the way,” Philip said reaching into the back pocket of his jeans.   “I’ve got a little gift for you.”

“A gift? Like a souvenir?”

“Not really,” he said pulling an envelope from his back pocket.  “Here.”

Philip placed the envelope in Cameron’s hand and crossed his arms over his chest.  “Open it.”

A quizzical look wiped over Cameron’s face as she slid the letter open with her index finger.  Peering inside, Cameron’s eyes grew wide in astonishment.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she replied, wrapping her arms around Philip’s neck once more.

“So I take it you like,” he asked.

“It’s more like love,” she answered.  “Philip, when did you get these? Where did you get these? How could you afford these?”

“Tracey, uh, my biological mom, asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told her I wanted to do something really cool with my best friend.  We got to talking about you and somehow Luscious Jackson came up during the conversation and a week later Tracey had two tickets for us to see them play in New Orleans.”

“Uh, wow,” Cameron enunciated.  “Thanks for thinking about me.”

“I couldn’t think of a better person to spend my birthday with.”

“Even though LJ is my favorite band and not yours,” she asked, peering above the envelop at Philip.

“Close enough.  Kate Schellenbach used to drum for the Beasties, remember?”

“That’s right,” Cameron laughed, reaching on the other side of the oversized island to retrieve two cokes from a small cooler, handing one to Philip.  “Here’s to our senior year, Luscious Jackson and an everlasting friendship.”

“Here, here,” Philip said, taking a sip with Cameron. 

“Philip,” another female’s voice entered the kitchen, causing him to turn around.  “We’re ready for the hot tub but not without you.”  It was Lisa Donner, leader of the tramp camp.

Turning back around to face Cameron, he rolled his eyes. 

“The pimp’s been summoned,” Cameron replied sarcastically.

He leaned over and touched his forehead to hers, “I’ll see you in a few.”

And then he headed out to the backyard, wrapping his arm around Lisa’s shoulder but not before smacking her on the bottom with the palm of his hand.  If Cameron could change one thing about Philip it would be the girls who flocked to him. 

Cameron sighed and shook her head in disapproval before staring down at the envelop housing the Luscious Jackson tickets.  Lifting it up to her nose, she took in Philip’s scent; a mixture of Ivory soap and Tommy Hilfiger cologne.  Slipping the tickets into the back pocket of her jean shorts, she hopped off the island and grabbed one of the buckets of crawfish to take out back.  This year was bound to be the best, as it was already starting out better than expected.  At least that’s what Cameron hoped and prayed for this year.

Cameron - Summer 2011 

“But you knew he was going to be the best man and you didn’t say a word to me about it,” Cameron complained into the phone as she drove down the street to her parent's house.

“I know Cameron but I didn’t want you to feel like you couldn’t be a part of our wedding.”

“Nina, you know me better than that.  If I came to you and that foolishness also known as Luther’s wedding you better believe I’d be there for you and Greg’s wedding.”  Cameron pulled up and parked in the front of her parent’s house.  Turning off the ignition, Cameron grabbed a hold of the steering wheel and squeezed tight.  “I just feel so blindsided by this.  You should have told me.”

“Cameron, I thought you said you were over it.  So what’s the big deal?”

“It’s obviously a big deal because you felt like you couldn’t tell me I’m freaking walking down the aisle with Philip.  And I’m not sure I’m ready to face him just yet.”

“Technically, you’ve already been face to face with him.  By the way, was he as gorgeous as ever?”

“What do you think? He was all lean and filled out and hot and tall and handsome and I was a hot sweaty mess, bulging out of my pants.  Even my teeth were sweating.  And it wasn’t caused by the humidity and no one can convince me otherwise.”

“You should totally be on Broadway.  These monologues of yours are exhausting.”

“Okay, maybe I’m being a bit theatrical.”

“A bit, sweetie,” Nina chimed in a condescending tone.

“Okay… a lot theatrical.  You know what I wanted to do when I ran into him at the airport?”

“What might that be?”

“I wanted to injure him by punching him in the face, so that I could console him and kiss away the pain.  That is demented.  Who harbors those types of feelings for people,” she asked now leaning her head against the steering wheel.

“Crazies,” Nina answered in her matter of fact way.  “People who are off their rocker, over the moon, ready to ride or die, in love with someone.”

Silence ensued as the two friends sat for a moment absorbing the exchange they just made.  Cameron was off her rocker, over the moon, ready to ride or die, in love with Philip.  Always had been and was probably doomed to always feel that way about him.

“You there sweet pea,” Nina gently spoke into the phone.

“Yeah,” Cameron replied just as softly.

“I think you two just need to sit down and talk,” Nina said.

“You’re right,” Cameron replied, though she thought, what on earth would she say to him after fifteen years of absolutely no contact.  They were both probably very different people now.

“I know.  When am I ever wrong,” Nina answered.  “Now girl, get your boney self over here so I can put you to work.  There is much to be done in the next two weeks and Gregory acts like his hands don’t work when it comes to wedding stuff but I told him if he could help his cousin Soo Jin at her nail shop then he can definitely stuff boxes with tissue paper and chocolate truffles.”

“Snob,” Cameron spoke into the phone.  “Do you think Greg knows what he’s getting himself into?”

“No, but in two weeks it’ll be too late for all of that.”

Cameron shook her head at the impudence constantly flowing from Nina’s mouth, “Bye, I’ll be there in like thirty minutes.”   Flipping her phone closed, Cameron grabbed her hand bag and slid it over her shoulder as she exited the rental, popping the trunk to retrieve her luggage.  Just as she pulled out the first suitcase, a red mustang convertible blasting music flashed by her in a haze, sifting up pounds of dust and gravel into the air and parked in front of the third house down from her parent’s house.  Philip’s parent’s house. 

“Twice in one day,” Cameron spoke aloud to herself.  “Lucky me.”

Philip - Summer 2011 

“ ‘You git ma-reed?’ Yes Mimi,” Greg said stifling his laughter in an attempt to keep a straight face and finish his story.  “ ‘Oh, you got pic-chure?’ And so I take out a picture of Nina and hand it to Mimi and she holds onto it tight, really zooming in on the photograph, studying it and then all of sudden, she slowly starts to lean to the left and is about to fall out of her chair but she stops herself.” 

Taking a sip of cold beer from his mug, Philip adjusted his barstool and scooted closer to Greg, ensuring that he heard every detail of Greg’s tale.

Greg giggled before collecting himself to continue, “Pools of sweat have now began to appear and accrue on Mimi’s brow and upper lip and she’s panic stricken. ‘But shee na like-us.’ Yes Mimi, I’m aware.  ‘But shee blahk gaall… she got chi-ule.  Lil’ boy.  Yoou no wan,’ and she shakes her head and I nod, ‘Yes, Mimi.  I waaaaan blahk gaall wit lil chi-ule boy,’ in my best Korean speaking English accent and my mom pops me in the back of the head.  She was so beyond mad at me.”

Philip nearly mounted the top of the bar laughing hysterically, his stomach in an achy fit.  “B-blahk gaall,” he mimicked in his best Korean accent.  “Do you think Nina would mind if I called her blahk gaall from now on?”

“No, don’t say a word to her about what Mimi said.  It really hurt her feelings I think but you know Nina, hard as nails that one.”  Greg paused and tossed a few peanuts in his mouth before continuing.  “I mean, you can mention it to her if you really want to die.  Oh wait, you’re already a marked man. Ha.”

“Who’s a marked man,” Max said as he approached them.

“Stevens here is a marked man.”

“Ooh.  Yeah,” Max said slapping Greg’s hand and reaching over to hug Philip.  “Long time no see stranger.”

“Yeah, man,” Philip replied.  “I hear you’re doing pretty good.”

“I am,” Max replied.  “So, speaking of being a marked man, have you seen Cameron yet?”

“Ran into her at the airport.”

“Yikes, did she beat you down? Cameron’s little but I’d put money on her.”

“No she didn’t beat me down but she didn’t exactly welcome me with open arms.”

“Well,” Greg added, “You’re a brave one dude.  I don’t think I could face her.”

Philip smirked.  Brave wasn’t exactly the word he’d use.  Insane perhaps was more fitting.  The look Cameron gave him before she left burned him to the core.  She was still raw about them but to be honest so was he.  The difference being he was really thrilled when he saw her and ready to make amends but from her expression he knew the feeling wasn’t mutual.  Maybe this visit could turn into an opportunity for them to clear the air and understand what went wrong with them and why.

“So catch me up.  What were you two talkin’ about before I came along.”

Philip giggled.  “Greg was telling me about when he told Mimi he was marrying Nina.”

“Oh yeah.  Blahk gaall.  That was some funny stuff man,” Max laughed aloud.  “How is it possible to sound Korean and country concurrently?”

Greg topped off the rest of his beer, slamming the mug down on the bar top.  “I haven’t a clue, but Mimi executes it flawlessly.”  He gestured for the bartender to bring them another round.  “Three more Blue Moons.”

“So Max,” Philip started, squeezing a slice of orange into his beer.  “I heard about the divorce man.”

“Yeah, dude.  We were on our way there from the day we started dating but it ended alright.  We’re still friendly.  I’m just glad we didn’t have any kids you know.  I grew up in a single parent home and that wasn’t fun.  I wouldn’t want to do that to any kid.”

“I bet.  Well at least nothing popped off from it.  You still talk to Tricia?”

“Sometimes, just whenever we have to.”  Max replied before taking a gulp of his beer.  “What about you playa? You didn’t bring a date for the wedding?”

“Naw man,” Greg intercepted.  “It’s hard for chicks to get past level two of the Camometer.”

“What,” Max asked.  “You got a measurement system?”

“Based on Cameron attributes,” Greg interrupted yet again.  “Been using it since high school.”

“For real,” Max asked.  “Lisa Donner?”

“Didn’t even make the meter,” Philip answered, taking a swig of his beer.  “I don’t know what Lisa looks like now but back then she kinda looked like those cavemen from the Geico commercials.”

“Dude,” Greg laughed almost spitting out his beer.  “Lisa does look like a caveman.  Nina and I have been racking our brains trying to figure out who or what she resembled.  I said the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz but dude, your so on target with that doppelgänger.  Only in this case, Lisa might actually be the evil one cause the cavemen seem to be quite benevolent.  I can’t wait to tell Nina.”  He slid his phone out of his pocket and instantly began to dial Nina.

“Baby,” he yelled into the phone, well on his way to tipsy town.  “I know who Lisa Donner looks like…”

“Anyway,” Max went on ignoring Greg’s little tangent.  “What about Erin Collins?”

“About a two on the Camometer,” Philip answered.  “She was book and street smart.  Considerate but a bit too loose.”

“You didn’t get at her in high school?”

“Naw but she pushed and tried her hardest,” Philip said.

“Cameron got you like that,” Max asked topping off his glass.

“Yep,” Greg chimed in, hanging up his phone.  “And she didn’t have to do nothing to get him like that.  That’s the sad, crazy part of the whole deal.”

“Shut up Greg.  You talk entirely too much and you got off the phone awfully fast.  Did Nina hang up on you?”

“Threatened to withhold the good stuff if I drunk dialed her again,” he replied, topping off his fifth mug of beer.  “You guys wanna do some more shots?”

“Shots,” Max asked shock.  “When did he start doing shots?”

“Probably around the time he started dating Nina,” Philip replied.  “I think we need to get you home.  Let’s go buddy.”

By day three Cameron had successfully avoided any further contact with Philip, much to everyone’s dismay, including her mother.  The good French lady, though meaning well, badgered her daughter to tears about Philip, explaining it was her duty to know the details of her only child’s “relationships”.  Esmée Blanche Austin could be summed up in many words but the one phrase that encompassed her fully was lover of love.  She wanted everyone to find love and made it her business to aid when she deemed it necessary.  And now was her time to assist Cameron in her love woes, for she had known and proclaimed for years that Philip held Cameron’s heart and her daughter held his. 

“It’s inevitable that you two will marry and have beaux bébés pour moi de l’amour,” she would announce with such excitement and intensity, her heavy voice floating through the air for all to hear.  It was embarrassing but Cameron always felt there was some truth to her mother’s words.  At least she’d hoped there was.

Her mother was a rebel in her day and probably still so to some today; a white woman who dared anyone to say anything about her matrimony to the bright, young and black Baptist minister, Reverend Ronald L. Austin.  It was the late seventies when the two married and interracial couples, though more prevalent, was still quite the faux pas.

“Mon petit,” Esmée sweetly lulled as she slid herself into the chair in front of her daughter, her long black hair stacked on top of her head in a tight bun, a stark contrast to her milky complexion.  Though Cameron was several shades darker than her mother, they shared many of the same physical features.  She had her mother’s eyes and was blessed with her thin French body type, while her nose was a combination of both her parents.   

Cameron looked under eyed after Esmée’s sweet greeting, anticipating the questions she surely knew were on the brink of spilling out of her mother’s mouth. 

“Yes mom,” Cameron said before stuffing a spoonful of the soufflé into her mouth, closing her eyes as she savored her mother’s famous concoction. 

“Have you spoken with Philip since you ran into him at the airport?” 

“Non,” she replied in French, refusing to give her mother eye contact, keeping them closed tight as she continued to indulge in the hot, delicious meal. 

“I spoke with Nadine yesterday at the Thompson’s Farm and she mentioned that Philip, in passing of course, told her how anxious he was to speak with you.” 

Cameron shook her head, slightly rolled her eyes and smirked.  “Really?” 

“Oui, petite fille,” her mother replied, eyeing her for the disrespecting tone. A brief moment passed between mother and daughter as they engaged in eating their breakfast, both possibly thinking the same thing.  What happened that drew her and Philip apart? 

“Cameron,” her mother interrupted the silence.  “Il n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé.” 

“Mom,” Cameron began, placing her spoon down on the fancy napkins her mother insisted on using for every meal. 

“I get that.  I want to love and be loved but you weren’t there and you don’t know what happened.  And I’m thirty-two years old and fully capable of handling my relationships.” 

“Are you,” she fired back at her daughter, resting her chin on interlocked fingers as she braced her elbows on the table.  “And even so, don’t you think you can forgive and forget? C'est dans le passé. Qu'est-ce qui est fait est fait. ” 

“I suppose you’re right,” Cameron took another long pause of contemplation before opting to just give her mom the answer she wanted to hear.  Ear service was always the key to getting past her mother’s bombardment of questions. 

“Just speak with him mon petit.” Esmée reached across the table and placed a loving and soft hand over her daughter’s. 

“I’ll have to cross that bridge sooner than later, so you shall get your wish.”  Cameron rose up from her chair, walked over to her mother and kissed her on the forehead.  “T’aime maman.” 

“I love you too petit bébé.” 

Hurrying upstairs to her old bedroom, which was now a guest bedroom that was attacked by pale purple and pink toile, Cameron rushed through in a fury as she was running extremely late and did not want to be on the receiving end of Nina’s wrath. Cameron immediately searched for something comfortable yet cute, as she was summoned to be Nina’s slave for the day.  They had a lot to do in a very short amount of time.  

Just as she pulled on one of her pink and black plaid Converse her cell phone went off.  She shuffled to the nightstand and answered promptly, her tardiness excuse ready and on hand. 

“Sorry Nina.  I’m about to hit the door.  I had an encounter with my mom and she made beignets and you know I can’t resist a beignet.” 

“Oh, that’s alright.  I was calling to see if you wanted an iced coffee or tea?” 

“You’re not mad that I’m,” Cameron looked down and scanned her watch.  “Thirty minutes late?” 

“No.  Just get here when you can.” 

“What’s up,” Cameron asked taking a seat on the edge of the bed.  “You were threatening me last night if I was a minute late and now you’re all zen and at peace and extremely calm like Gandhi.” 

“Don’t be mad,” Nina tossed in quickly.  “But I’ve invited Erin Collins to help with the centerpieces.  I hope that’s okay? She asked if there was anything she could help me with about a week ago and I really could use the help and she’s not as bad as she used to be Cameron.  Besides that was a million years ago and people can change contrary to what you believe.  I mean just because you’re the same ole’ perfect and moral person you’ve been since kindergarten doesn’t mean that others remain the same.” 

Nina managed to get all of that out in one breath before inhaling deeply while silence loomed on the other end of the line. 

“Hello,” Nina asked finally.

“Just making sure you’re done with the Cameron bash.  Thought you might have wanted to add, in detail, how prudish and prideful I can be.” 

“Cameron,” Nina added.  “I’m sorry but I know ho-” 

“It’s fine.  I’ll be there shortly,” Cameron interjected.  “And I’d like an iced latte if and only if that’s not asking too much or in any way makes me judgmental.” 

She hung up the phone and rolled her eyes before placing her other Converse on her foot.  She grabbed her purse and headed out of the door, thinking about what Nina had said. 

“You’re okay with Erin Collins, Cameron,” she spoke aloud to herself once safely inside her rental car.  “Remember you forgave her a long time ago.  It’s time to forget the past and move forward.”  The real question was did Cameron actually believe the words she just spoke aloud?  Had she gotten over what happened? Maybe, but had she forgotten? Absolutely not.  She wouldn’t allow herself to.  In fact it was downright impossible for her to forget.  Unlike her mother, who could always toss her ego and pride aside, Cameron wasn’t the most compassionate person around.  She just found it difficult to let go of situations or people who maliciously hurt her and the truth was Erin, to some degree, fell into that category.  Maybe this could create an opportunity for her wounds to heal.  To see the new and improved Erin, Nina spoke of just minutes before.  Cameron inhaled deeply and started her car.  “Qu'est-ce qui est fait est fait.” 

Erin – Fall 1997 

Worse than packing, leaving behind friends or even travelling, Erin hated being the new girl at school.  This would be the fifth time she’s had to do this and most would think by the fifth time she would have this “new girl” gig down to a science but not so much.  She was socially awkward at best.  The girls usually hated her upon first look or befriended her to make sure she wasn’t a threat to their relationships.  And the guys... the guys were intrigued by the mystery of the nomad girl, trying their best to find a way to get her in their beds.  One time she actually went for it, thinking she’d have nothing to lose until it was all over and she’d been coined “seven-eleven”.  She’d vowed never to do that again and hadn’t. 

She had been told that she was pretty, though she didn’t know if she fully believed it.  Who would want the girl who came from the unstable family? They never stayed in a place longer than a year or two it seemed.  Her mother would try to keep her spirits up by explaining that she could start all over again with a clean slate and could be anything she wanted to be.  The first two times she’d believed her and tried her best to take her mother’s advice but after having to move again and again, the notion struck her as ludicrous at best and definitely a waste of her time. 

It was lunch time on her first day at Meyers High, always the worst day for any new girl.  She scanned the room for familiar faces but found none, at least none that would give her direct eye contact, so she found a table that was empty on one end and sat alone, beginning to nibble on an egg salad sandwich.  Just as she struggled to open her chocolate milk carton, a shadow hovered over her.  She slowly looked up to find a friendly smile staring down at her.  It was the girl that sat next to her in journalism.  Cameron, she thought her name was. 

“Mind if I sit down,” Cameron asked genuinely awaiting an honest answer from Erin based on her tone and facial expression. 

“Um,” Erin fumbled her words, in shock that the girl wanted to sit with her.  “Uh, sure.  Why not?” 

Cameron giggled.  “Have you done this before?” 

“You mean being new,” Erin asked. 

“Yes.” 

“This would be my fifth time playing ‘new girl’,” Erin responded, picking over her vegetables. 

“Well, welcome,” Cameron replied with her hand extended to the girl. 

“Thanks,” Erin replied, accepting Cameron’s hand. 

“So,” Cameron began.  “Where are you from?” 

Erin stared at Cameron a moment, not really making eye contact but processing the question.  “Everywhere.” 

“Ha.  Well that must be nice.  I’ve only visited a few places but I’ve been here all of my life.  I can’t wait till graduation.  I love Louisiana but I need to experience some other place, ya know?” 

“Ya know, what,” a guy’s voice interjected.  A tall, athletic and quite cute guy straddled the seat next to Cameron and took a grape off of her tray, tossed it in the air and caught it in his mouth.  He chewed quickly, swallowed and smiled, turning his attention to Erin.   

“Erin,” Cameron began with a roll of her eyes.  “This is Philip.  Philip, Erin.” 

“Nice to meet you,” Philip, said extending his hand to hers. 

“You too,” she answered, hoping she wasn't blushing at his touch. 

“I thought you guys had to run during lunch,” Cameron asked Philip, removing a leaf from his hair. 

“I decided to ditch.  I’m tired of three a day practices.” 

“Coach Weiss is going to murder you, you know.” 

“Well, so be it.”  Philip gave a maniacal smirk.  “Just make sure my eulogy is good and that my mom puts the gray suit on me.” 

“Don’t talk like that,” Cameron said with a wrinkle of her nose. 

“Well, I’d better go.  Gotta hide the rest of the day from coach.  See ya after school for math tutoring, right?” 

“You know I’ll be there but will you?” 

“Always patiently waiting on me,” Philip said standing to his feet.  He turned quickly to Erin and nodded, “Nice meetin’ ya.” 

“You too,” Erin replied with a small smile. Philip skipped out of the cafeteria towards the courtyard and disappeared out of the door.  What a cutie Erin thought, immediately wondering if he had a girlfriend or if Cameron was his girlfriend. 

“So,” Erin asked casually.  “How long have you two been dating?” 

Cameron laughed.  “Funny you should ask.  We’re not dating.  Philip and I are best friends.  We’ve been best buds since about first grade.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah.  You’re not the first to ask that question and probably not the last.  Most people find it hard to believe that a guy and a girl can be just friends but Philip and I are good at it.  It just works out that way.” 

“So,” Erin began to pry a little more.  “Do you have a boyfriend?” 

“Currently... no.” 

“What about Philip?” 

Cameron looked a little uneasy as the question escaped Erin’s mouth but began to answer it despite the discomfort it caused. 

“Well he doesn’t have a boyfriend," she joked, "but he’s been hanging out with a girl named Joyce.  She’s on the tennis team with me.  I played doubles with her last year.  Nice girl.” 

“Oh,” Erin replied, taking another bite of her sandwich.  Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad at all.  Cameron seemed really nice and maybe she would take Erin in and show her all that Meyer’s High School had to offer.  And perhaps she could even get a chance to get to know Philip too. 

Nina – Summer 2011 

Knots began to form in the pit of Nina’s stomach as soon as she saw Erin pull her SUV into the driveway of her house.  She quickly swept the sheers back in place and scrambled around the den arranging her craft boxes on the coffee table.  Greg made his way downstairs just as the doorbell rang.   

“Is that Cameron,” Greg asked making his way to the door.  “She’s late, huh? That’s not like her.” 

Nina rushed towards the door a bit fidgety and suddenly turned around, her back leaning against the front door. 

“No,” she replied.  “It’s Erin.” 

“Erin? As in Erin Collins.  AKA Cameron’s arch-enemy.  AKA her kryptonite.  AKA her wo-“ 

“Would you please stop,” Nina said in a hushed, yet firm tone. 

“Are they both going to be here in the same room at the same time?” 

“Yes,” Nina answered. 

“Are you breaking up with me?” 

“What? No! Why would you say something like that?” 

“Because it’s like you’re on a suicide mission by having those two together in the same room.” 

“No it’s not.  That was fifteen years ago.  We’re all over what happened.  I even forgave Erin for sleeping with my ex-husband while we were still married.” 

“Which is something I truly love about you Nina but I think you also forgot one minor yet, how do I say this, imperative detail.” 

“What’s that?” 

“Philip and Max are coming over today to play the new video game I’ve been working on, while you and Cameron did wedding stuff, remember?” 

Nina began to breathe heavily as the doorbell rang once more.  What was she thinking? She wasn’t thinking that was the problem.  How was this going to work out? 

“Okay, okay.  We got this baby,” Nina said to Greg, stepping away from the door. 

“You must keep the guys occupied and out of this part of the house until four o’clock this evening, alright.  If you need something, call me on my cell phone but not too often and I’ll bring it down to the basement.” 

“I think I can do that.  So basically act like we’re not here for six hours.” 

“Right,” Nina answered. The doorbell rang again and then the knob began to turn. 

It was Cameron and Erin standing next to each other as Cameron swung the door open.  “What took you so long to answer the door? It’s hot out here,” Cameron complained as she made her way over the threshold. 

“Cam,” Greg called out embracing his friend.  “It’s so good to see you.” 

“You too Gregory,” she replied.  “You hangin’ out with the girls today or do you have plans helping Soo Jin at the nail salon?” 

“Really Nina,” Greg exclaimed. “Are you really still telling people that I help her at the nail shop?” Greg turned to Cameron and Erin.  “You’ll have to excuse my fiancée.  She confuses doing graphic and marketing stuff with applying fake acrylic nails.” 

Greg turned to Nina and gave her a peck on the cheek.  “Stop telling everyone I do nails, okay.” 

“Okay,” Nina said with a roll of her eyes.   

Greg left the girls to their crafts and they all took their seats and began unloading the boxes of tulle and glass vases.  This wouldn’t be too bad, Nina hoped.  So far there hadn’t been any eye rolling, ignoring or indirect comments made so she thought she was in the clear.  That was until... 

“So Cameron,” Erin began.  “I ran into Philip at the grocery store with his brother yesterday.  He looked great.  Gorgeous as usual.  He said you two hadn’t really talked yet.” 

And that’s when the room went completely silent and Nina began to pray nothing came of the apparent jab Erin decided to take at Cameron.

Cameron – Summer 2011 

Every cell in Cameron’s body began to singe at Erin’s words, charring her from the inside out.  Clearly, Erin wanted to get punched in the face but what exactly would Cameron look like starting a fight with another grown woman over words? Hurtful words, but words nonetheless.  That’s all they were but she was also human and needed to escape this reality as quickly as possible. 

Composing herself, Cameron took in a deep breath and stood up, stretching her long limbs and making her way out of the den, saying nothing but making eye contact with Nina who, looking awfully remorseful, nodded her head ever so slightly at Cameron’s departure. 

She strolled her way into the kitchen and began rummaging through the refrigerator for something cold to drink, not sure that her body temperature was rising from the heat of the day or anger bubbling in her stomach.  She found several cans of Sprite on the top shelf, seized one and promptly popped the tab to indulge.  Taking gigantic gulps, her mouth became too full and a sliver of the bubbly beverage seeped from the right corner of her mouth.  With her wrist she wiped away the remnants, just as Philip came into the kitchen, laughing at something one of the guys said. 

He stopped in his tracks and stared at Cameron, examining her body language and overall feel, she supposed. 

“Who pissed you off,” Philip asked, making his way towards Cameron, the refrigerator being his ultimate destination.  Cameron rolled her eyes and placed the half full can of soda on the granite countertop.  He could still read her after all these years.  It was annoyingly remarkable really. 

She opened her mouth to rant and perhaps say something mean and cruel but opted to take the high road.  No use crying over spilled milk or re-hashing the past, though the need to do so nagged her conscious. 

“I’ve just got a lot on my mind.  That’s all.” 

“I don’t buy it but seeing that you have been avoiding me since we’ve been here, I’ll leave you alone.”  Philip turned his attention from Cameron and began rummaging through the refrigerator.  He poked his head from around the refrigerator door, peering at Cameron before speaking again.  “By the way, my mom has asked about you numerous times since finding out you’re home and I’m really tired of coming up with excuses as to why you haven’t paid her a visit, so you might want to add that to your to do list.  And let me know if it’ll be an imposition for me to be there so I can arrange for my presence to be elsewhere.” 

He pulled out a can of Sprite for himself and began to drink, taking big gulps as well.  It was obvious he was a little ticked off at her too but did he really have a right? Maybe, the small voice in Cameron’s mind uttered. 

“Ouch,” Cameron said in a low voice.  “I think I can officially call today ‘Bruise Cameron’s Ego’ Day.” 

“Well, maybe your ego should be bruised,” Philip replied, his voice blunt, to the point and very much not like him.  In fact that was totally a Cameron move. 

“And what is that suppose to mean?”  She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him, demanding an answer not only with her question but with her body language. 

“It means what it means, Cameron.” 

“What? You sound like Yoda.” Her brow furrowed in frustration, “Are you going to start speaking in parables now Philip? That wasn’t an answer to my question and what exactly is your problem with me?” 

“You want to know what my problem is,” Philip began slamming his can of soda on the countertop.  “You.  You and your lack of wanting to communicate with anyone.” 

“Oh, give me a break Philip.  You’ve had ample time to ‘communicate’ with me but chose not to.” 

They stood there, guarded in stillness, staring each other down with a passion no one could deny.  She wanted to talk to him but felt the only words that would come out were hurtful and she really didn’t want to do that, so instead she grabbed her soda off of the countertop and made her way out of the kitchen. 

“Cameron,” Philip exclaimed.  “Wait a minute.” 

She abruptly turned around and propped her hands on her hips.  “I’m tired of waiting, Philip.  And by the way can you let your mom know that I’m on my way to see her.  No need to arrange for you to not be there since I already know where you are.” 

Philip – Summer 2011 

Regret consumed Philip as soon as his little tirade to Cameron was finished.  Why he went off on her like that, he’ll never know but it seemed that aggression was his only option to get Cameron to even look his way.  

Walking towards the den, he ran into a not so happy and quite confused looking Nina. 

“What did you say to her,” Nina insisted.   

“I screwed up but she was in a mood before I got to the kitchen.” 

“She just stormed out, without saying a word to anyone.” 

“Anyone? Who else is here?” 

“Greg didn’t tell you I invited Erin Collins over to help out?” 

“He did not.  Doesn’t she like hate Cameron or something like that?”

 “It’s a mutual thing.  Actually, I think Cameron loathes her more,” Nina stated, rather perplexed by his question.  “I don’t know.  It might be toss up.” 

“I never really understood why there was tension between those two,” Philip said. 

“Hello Captain Obvious.” 

“What,” Philip asked puzzled. 

“You are the tension between those two.” 

“Me? Why? I never dated Erin, we just hung out.  And besides, Cameron and I were always together.  She just sat idly by while I tried my best to torment her with fake girlfriends until...”  He stopped himself before he said any more. 

“Oh wow.  That’s...wow.  You’ve been in love with Cameron all this time and never said anything?”  

“Yeah, I guess so,” he answered reluctantly, completely floored by the fact that he admitted that aloud and to Nina no less. 

“You two have got some serious issues you need to clear up.  Please talk to her soon.” 

The notion was the only thing occupying his mind since he’d been home.  He’d spent countless hours agonizing about how he’d start up this conversation with Cameron but found himself defeated and exhausted before getting started.  And frankly he was quite afraid at how Cameron would be if and when he approached her about them.   

“Speaking of, was she seething when she left?” 

“I swore I saw a tear streak on her cheek.  A tear streak! Cameron doesn’t cry, like ever and she was brought to tears about something you said.”  Nina leaned against the wall and crossed her arms over her body, hugging herself tight.   

“She was really crying,” Philip asked, an ache began to take form in his chest.  Was he the cause? Had he been the cause of any of Cameron’s tears? He knew the answer to those questions but swept them aside. 

“What happened to you two Philip,” Nina asked. 

“Honestly,” he started, his fingers rubbing his temples.  “It was so long ago that I can’t remember everything but I do feel like it’s just a bunch of misconceptions and lack of communication.”  He sighed heavily.  “I don’t know.  I just want to talk to her and she won’t let me.” 

“Force her to listen to you.” 

“Force? Cameron? You do know who you’re talking about, right? This is the same woman who forced Luther, your ex who was six foot tall by age eight, to give me back my lunch money in the third grade.  You can’t force an enforcer.” “

What happened to Camer-,” Erin sauntered in, probing about Cameron.  “Oh, hi Philip.  I didn’t know you were here.” 

“Yeah,” he replied with a nod of his head barely acknowledging her.  “Look, Nina, I think I’m gonna head out and go for a run.  Need to clear my mind.  Tell Greg, I’ll be back later on this evening.”  He promptly maneuvered around Nina and Erin, making his way out front to his car.   

Philip – 1997 

A slight breeze in the air surrounded Cameron and Philip as they exited the smoky stadium.  The Luscious Jackson concert was now over and it was time to head back home.  They headed to Philip’s truck and ever the gentleman he opened the passenger door and helped Cameron get inside, ensuring she was comfortable before closing the door and making his way to the driver’s side. 

“Oh, that was stellar,” Cameron exclaimed, still high on the rush of seeing her favorite band live. 

“It was perfect.  They were wonderful live.” 

“It was awesome,” Philip smiled as he glanced over at Cameron.  She was perfect and this was the perfect night.  He only wished that it could last a little longer. After travelling for a while, Philip focused on the clock in his truck to make sure he had Cameron back by her curfew. 

“We’ll be back home in about thirty minutes, with about a half hour to spare.” 

“No worries,” my mom is covering for me with my dad, so if I’m a little late it’s alright.  She smiled and Philip’s heart turned to mush.  He had always loved Cameron but it was really more of a true friend love but lately he’d been feeling much more for her, though he’d never actually come out and say that to her.  He didn’t want to risk their friendship, so he’d remain silent.  At least he’d try.  He could be quite impulsive and it really took an effort for him to refrain from just doing what he wanted to do. 

Cameron – 1997 

The night was perfect and absolutely nothing could change that.  She just finished watching her favorite band with her best friend and she loved every minute of it.  Philip was super sweet the whole time too and very protective, more so than usual.  He stood behind her the whole time they were in the mosh pit, making sure she had ample space around and taking accidental shoves and hits from other concert goers.  It was nice, him surrounding her and for a moment she wished they could spend more time like this; in close proximity. Once they were in Philip’s truck and on their way home, Cameron turned to face him, about to speak but holding back. 

“What,” Philip said as if he could feel her stare sear across his skin. 

“I’m not ready to go home yet.” He turned towards her quickly, trying not to keep his eyes off of the road too long but making sure she knew she had his attention. 

 “What do you want to do?” 

“I don’t know,” she said after a long pause.  “Maybe we can go hang out by Thompson’s farm.” Cameron couldn’t really tell but she thought for a moment Philip could have been blushing.  Thompson’s farm was a make out sight for teenagers and college students.  So why did she propose going there? Even she was dumbfounded by the suggestion.  “It’s such a clear night and I’d hate to waste it by going home,” she followed after her suggestion.  “We can count stars or something.”  Cameron giggled instantly after she spoke.  “I’m sorry.  That’s so corny.  Who counts stars?” 

“I think it’s cute and so very Cameron-esq,” Philip answered, smiling at the thought. 

“We can go on the other side of the farm if you want.” 

She hesitated before answering.  Was this a good idea?  Was she crossing the friendship line? Maybe but she really wanted to go and decided to throw caution to the wind. 

“Let’s go.” 

Philip & Cameron – 1997 

Cameron adjusted herself on the hood of Philip’s pick up, carefully laying back against the windshield.  Philip made found his place next to her and got comfortable before draping an old blanket he kept in the truck over them.   

“You alright,” Philip finally asked after they lounged in the peace of the country for a little while. 

“I’m fine,” Cameron replied, turning her head to look at Philip. 

“It’s nice out, huh,” he asked once again after another moment of quiet passed. 

“Philip,” Cameron began out of the blue.  “Are you still going to go see your mom after graduation?” 

“I was planning on it.  Why?” 

“Can I be completely honest and frank with you?” 

“Of course but really, when are you ever not completely honest and frank with me?” 

“I want what’s best for you, you know that right?” 

“Right,” 

“I’m just nervous that you’ll go there and forget about...” 

“I could and will never forget about you Cameron.  You’re my best friend.” 

“I know but it’s your mom Philip.  And I’m sure she’s wonderful and everything you felt you were missing in your life.” 

“My life was never missing anything.  I just gained another family member.  Nadine and Bill raised me therefore they’re my parents and will remain my parents.  And as for you, how could I ever forget you? I don’t think you’d actually let me.” 

“You’re right.  I’d probably hunt you down.”

The chill of the night air nipped at Cameron’s bare arms, so she pulled the blanket up just below her chin.  Philip snuggled in next to her, turning on his side.  From the angle he could really focus in and ask her what he’d wanted to ask for a little while now. 

“So, have you considered going with me this summer?” 

“To visit your real mom,” she questioned back, knowing full well what he was talking about. 

“Yeah.” 

“I don’t know,” she replied, avoiding eye contact with him. 

“I have to work to pay for all this miscellaneous stuff for college and I’m still working on a few more applications to schools.”  Cameron answered honestly.  “And don’t you think it would be odd for me to tag along with you up there? Your biological mother may not want me there.  And what if she doesn’t like me?” 

“What’s not to like,” Philip promptly replied.  “You’re smart and charming and straight forward, which most people really appreciate.  And you’re beautiful, from the inside out.” 

Cameron smiled at his last comment and shook her head.  “You’re too sweet for words.” 

“I mean what I say.” 

Cameron turned to face him as they continued to stare at each other, both yearning for a single kiss but neither one making a move. 

“Don’t you wish we could stay like this forever,” Cameron finally said, interrupting the sounds of crickets chirping in the dark but Philip didn’t respond with words.  He simply wrapped his arms around Cameron and they embraced each other for a little while, his gesture answering her question.  Of course he wished they could stay like that forever.

Philip – Summer 2011

About three hours passed from the time Philip left Greg and Nina’s house to go for his run to the time he made it back home.  After hitting the pavement, he visited the old bookstore his mother frequented and made his way to a local coffee bar for a smoothie.  He would have done just about anything to get his mind off of his last interaction with Cameron.  He didn’t see Cam’s rental car at his house or in front of her parent’s house and reasoned it safe to go inside.  He stealthily slipped inside the guest bathroom by the back entrance without anyone noticing and began running water in the sink.  Frigid water flowed over his dry hands as he cupped a large amount and splashed it over his flushed face.  Grabbing a towel, he swung the door open with force and found himself face to face with Cameron, a small shriek escaping from her mouth, forcing a small smile to appear across his lips.

“I didn’t know you were here,” Cameron spoke, backing away from him. 

“I just made it in,” he answered, pulling his sweat soaked t-shirt over his head, revealing a very taut and muscled body. 

Cameron’s lips parted ever so slowly at the sight which didn’t go unnoticed by Philip.  He wondered what her body was undergoing at that very moment.  She continued to back away as he drew closer to her. 

“I didn’t see your car, so I thought maybe you were already gone.”

“I see,” Cameron barely got out, swallowing deeply and trying her best not to stare at Philip’s body.  Instinctively her hand cupped the base of her neck and she slowly began applying pressure with her fingers.  That was a new nervous development, as Philip could not recall her ever doing that when she was nervous or uncomfortable, though she never really had a reason to feel that way around him before now. 

“Um, yeah, well...”

“You need to use it?” He motioned his head towards the bathroom door.

“Um,” Cameron started again.  “I – I can just use my bathroom at home.  I should probably go now.  I’m invading your-”

“No you’re not,” Philip cut her off, leading Cameron back down the hallway towards the den where his mother sat drinking her glass of lemonade.

“Philip,” Mrs. Nadine exclaimed.  “Why are you not wearing a shirt boy?” 

“I just got back from running,” he answered, turning his attention to Cameron, a slight smirk appearing at her discomfort. Cameron made eye contact with him and began what Philip thought was a smile.  He hadn’t seen her smile since she’d been home, granted he hadn’t really seen that much of her. 

“How often do you run,” she asked, clearly interested in his answer.   

Mrs. Nadine grabbed a t-shirt from a nearby basket of folded laundry and tossed it to her eldest son.  He managed to put the shirt on while answering Cameron’s question, “Every morning, though not since I’ve been home.  I think I’ve ran twice since I’ve been back. Why? Do you still run?” 

Cameron nodded and hesitated a little before answering. 

“Yeah.  I – I run every morning too.  I try to make it to the park by my house but when the weather’s bad or I’m too lazy to go out I run on my treadmill.” 

“Really,” Philip asked, amused and interested.  “Maybe we can run together tomorrow morning?  That is if you want to.”

Cameron bit down on her bottom lip and for a moment Philip thought he saw her lip quiver at his question.  Obviously she was contemplating, considering whether or not the choice to go for a run with him was a good or bad idea.  She sighed before answering in a rush, as if to just say what she wanted to say before her mind convinced her otherwise, “Sure.  I’ll meet you tomorrow morning on-” 

“Your porch, like when you used to run to condition yourself for tennis in high school?” 

“That’ll work,” Cameron answered, fidgeting her hands just a bit.  Never had she known a guy with Philip’s memory.  It was selective but when he chose to remember something, he knew every aspect of the event.  She eyed her purse on the loveseat and began to reach for it.  “I should probably get going.” 

Mrs. Nadine stood up to give Cameron a hug goodbye.  “Don’t be a stranger.  I want to see you several more times before you leave, you hear me young lady?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” she answered with a smile before accidentally making eye contact with Philip.  He wanted to say something to keep her there a little longer but remained silent instead.  “I’ll see you all later,” Cameron said before turning around to leave.   

By the time Cameron was out of sight, Mrs. Nadine took a hold of the remote control and threw it as hard as she could, pounding Philip in the arm. 

“Ow,” he exclaimed, rubbing his arm. 

Through gritted teeth, his mother whispered, “Go after her!” 

His eyes bulged and rolled but he obliged. “Cameron.  Wait up,” he called after her, slightly jogging towards the front door. 

“Yeah,” she answered, turning around to face him before opening the front door. 

“I just wanted to apologize for earlier today.  You were obviously having a day and I added to that with my comments, so I’m sorry for pushing you.” 

“No worries,” she answered with a forced smile.  “I probably deserved it... somehow.  I haven’t exactly been approachable as of late.” 

Philip didn’t say anything, just continued to look at her, longingly.  He wanted to clear the air.  Get every question he had out in the open but didn’t know exactly how to ask that of Cameron except to just be straightforward and up front with her.  “Do you think that maybe we could talk sometime before we leave here?” 

“We’re talking now, aren’t we,” Cameron countered rather abruptly, as if she knew what he was going to say before it was stated. 

“Yeah.  I suppose we are,” he replied, complying with Cameron’s unwillingness to talk about their situation at the moment.  Give it time Philip, he mentally spoke to himself.  Give her a little more time.  He thought maybe if he just acted normal and slowly started to spend time with her, she’d open up but Cameron was even more enigmatic than ever.  When she decided to shut down, she was locked and there was nothing or anyone that would be able to pry her open.  She’d always been that way and for the first time in his life Philip completely understood the frustration others had felt when slighted by Cameron. 

She walked closer to Philip and for the first time since they’d been home, reached out and embraced him.  Standing on the tips of her toes, she kissed his cheek and whispered, “See you in the morning Philip.” 

And then she turned around and made her way down the sidewalk towards her parent’s house.   Philip stood there perplexed, staring as she departed from him.  The hug and kiss were very much unexpected but stranger things had happened in his life.  He would just hold on to the hope that they’d work through whatever it was they needed to before the end of the two weeks.  He’d just have to be patient and give her a little more time. 

Cameron – Summer 2011

Philip’s face just after her lips parted from his cheek lingered in her memory much longer than she’d anticipated or wanted.  Shock flashed across his eyes as she pulled away and started down the sidewalk to her parent’s house.  She’d shocked herself a little too, not sure exactly why she did it.  Was it a gesture of peace or a means to stop him from trying to pry her open? Perhaps it was both.  She wasn’t sure but it was done nonetheless.   

Running into Philip again made her warm all over.  Being in his presence was like baking in an oven, an undeniable chemistry waiting to combust inside of her.  She wanted to blurt out everything she’d been feeling and thinking since their first mini reunion at the airport.  Admissions of how he’d hurt her and how much she loved him, waiting to erupt from her mouth, filled her throat but were unable to escape because of pride.  She didn’t want him or anyone to get the best of her but really, she felt like they already did.  Shutting down was almost, if not worse than raising a white flag, surrendering to the enemy.

Not so surprising was how much she really missed Mrs. Nadine.  As soon as she crossed the threshold of the Steven’s house, Mrs. Nadine took a hold of her and held her so tight, like she never wanted to let her go.  Like she’d just found her lost little lamb and brought it back home.  Everything came back to Cameron in an instant and it was like she’d never been gone.  They caught up for about an hour, briefing each other on the happenings of their lives since they’ve been apart.  Mrs. Nadine started making candles and selling them on consignment at the boutique on the square and Cameron shared that she’d been painting murals on the side for friends and colleagues.  The visit was nice and cultivated a need and desire to be home much longer than the two weeks Cameron was scheduled to be there for.

Making her way slowly from the front of the house to the back, she found her father tending to his vegetable garden in the back yard.  Staring through the screen door, she leaned against the door frame and allowed the unusually cool breeze to soothe her, calm her down some.  There was nothing like crisp, clean country air.

“What ya thinkin’ ‘bout baby girl,” her father spoke, his voice a whisper above the wind.  He didn’t even have to look up to know she was there. 

She slowly pushed the screen door open with the tip of her tennis shoe and shuffled herself towards her father.  Taking a seat beside him in the dirt, she leaned over and kissed him gently on the cheek.

“You always know,” Cameron replied crossing her legs Indian style as her father unearthed one of his prized tomato plants.

“I spoke with your mother about an hour ago and she mentioned you haven’t visited with the Stevens.”

“I just left them.”

“Was Philip there,” her father asked, peering at her quickly above the rim of his wire framed glasses.

“Yeah,” she answered quickly before continuing.  “Actually he had just gotten there when I was about to leave, so...”

“Your mother is concerned about your relationship with him... As always.”

“It’s nothing to worry about.”

“Well,” her father began.  “I’m not so sure I agree with you and you know how I feel about your mother’s constant involvement in matchmaking schemes but you haven’t been yourself since you’ve been home.”

“It’s really nothing dad.  I’ll get through it.”

“I have no doubt you’ll get through it but I do want you to answer me honestly when I ask you if you’re having a hard time forgiving someone right now? Perhaps even yourself?”

Cameron smiled uncomfortably and chuckled before answering.  “A couple of someones.”

“Have you been in the Word? Have you been praying and seeking guidance?”

“You know the answer to that daddy.  I know that I should but I haven’t and this unforgiving thing is plaguing me.  I just,” she sighed heavily.  “I don’t know what to do or what to say or how to react.”

“Well,” he gently sat down his tomato plant and turned towards his daughter, his eyes focusing in on hers.  “I don’t know what happened between you and Philip or the other someones but I know you can find comfort if you seek the Lord.  I know you kids today don’t think it’s cool to talk to God but it won’t hurt to try him out.”

“I know all too well, daddy.  There used to be a time in my life when He was who I went to first and then I got caught up in... people.  The idea of that perfect someone.  And then I got crushed.”

“We all get caught up in people at some point in our lives sweet pea.  It’s part of human nature.  It’s easy to place others on pedestals and hard when they fail us and fall from grace all on their own.  Its how we decide to recoup that separates the strong from the weak.  Who did you go to first when everything seemed to fall apart?”

“I prayed,” Cameron answered simply.  “I cried my little seventeen year old heart out and I prayed and slowly but surely most of the pain was taken away.”

“Scars are left sometimes to remind us of how far we’ve come from our trials and battles.  It’s not meant to condemn you or make you feel guilty but to remind you that you overcame and you did Cameron.  You’re a beautiful, smart and successful young lady Cameron Linette Austin and your mother and I love you dearly and more than us, your heavenly Father.”

“Thank you, daddy.  I really needed to hear that.”

“Any time baby girl,” he said kissing his daughter on the forehead.  “You staying for dinner? You’re mother is cooking meatloaf.”

“Actually, I think I need to have a conversation with one of the someones mentioned earlier.  Raincheck?”

“I’ll save you some,” her dad said with a slight smile, watching his daughter stand up and wipe the dirt off of her clothes before making her way through the house and out of the front door.

Nina – Summer 2011

Lying down on the sofa, Nina snuggled under her chenille throw, rapidly switching channels on the living room television.  After Cameron left, guilt reared its ugly head and she couldn’t concentrate on the tasks needing completion.  She asked Erin to help her another time and opted to go pick up her son Tyler from her mother’s house.  She took him out for ice cream and spent the remainder of the day watching him play at the park, as the image of Cameron’s horrified face tormented her.  If she had really known how much Erin being there would have affected Cameron, she wouldn’t have forced the issue.  She was really under the impression that Cameron was over the past but apparently that wasn’t the case.  Now she was the bad guy and didn’t know what she could or should do to make amends.

Greg tipped toed towards the sofa and leaned his body over the side, assaulting Nina with kisses all over her face.  She welcomed the love and reached up to stroke his dark hair, enjoying the prickly feel of the short gel spiked strands on the palm of her hand.

“Tyler and I just finished the first Diary of a Wimpy Kid book.  He really liked it,” Greg spoke as Nina’s hands ran down the side of his face and cupped his chin. 

She sat up and pecked his lips lightly before lying back down.

“You alright,” he asked, making his way around the couch.  He slid on the end where Nina rested her legs, lifting them gently and placing them on top of his lap.

“No,” Nina said, her voice quivering a little.

“Are you about to cry,” Greg asked, slightly confused.

“Shut up,” Nina said with a slight sniffle.

“No really are you, ‘cause I’d love to get this on camera,” Greg said with a smirk. 

“I’ve known you for twenty-two years and I’ve seen you cry once and it wasn’t even a real cry.  It was when you played Cat in that all black production of Cat On A Hot Tin Roof for black history month our sophomore year of high school.  Weird that you all chose that play instead of something written for and about black people but whatever.”

“Greg, not now,” Nina moaned as she covered her face with the blanket.  “What kind of friend am I?”

Greg sat silently, smoothing his hands down Nina’s legs to her ankles and ultimately to her feet.  He began applying pressure and massaging her soles.“You’re a friend who sticks her nose in other’s business when she shouldn’t,” he berated forcing her head to poke out from underneath the blanket.

“But,” he began again, smiling like usual, “always means well.”

“She’s not going to be in the wedding.  She’s gonna call me and tell me that she’s decided to go back home and I’m not going to have a maid of honor.  Who doesn’t have a maid of honor in their weddddddding,” she began to sob. 

“We might as well go to the justice of the peace and get married.”

“That’s what I wanted to do in the first place,” Greg replied.  “This wedding is dwindling my savings.”

“Gregory,” Nina called out a little louder than before.  “I’m serious.  Cameron just added me to her list of those she never wants to see again in her lifetime.”

“And you call her dramatic,” Greg spoke releasing Nina’s feet.  “Cameron’s just having a hard time right now and she’ll look back at this situation and laugh in a few days.  After all that you two have been through and all the crap and trouble you’ve brought on her, this is the least of your worries.  Cameron’s got your back no matter how ridiculous you act.”

“That’s really encouraging Gregory.  Thanks for the pep talk if that’s really what you want to call it.”

“I’m just saying, take this blow to your pride and apologize to her for butting in.  And all will be good in the hood.”

“That simple,” Nina said with a roll of her eyes as she sat up, removing her feet from Greg’s lap.Greg stood up and Nina lied back down, stretching her long legs along the full length of the sofa.    He rested his hands on either side of Nina and slowly lowered his body on top of hers, kissing her forehead, nose and then her lips. 

“Yes it’s that simple.”

“You wanna go up-“

“I thought you’d never ask,” Greg spoke with widened eyes, picking Nina up and tossing her over his right shoulder, completely catching her off guard.  She shrieked with laughter, tossing her hands over her mouth, as not to wake up Tyler.  They were at the base of the staircase when the doorbell rang.

“Really,” Greg spoke through clenched teeth.  He placed Nina back down on the floor and stared at his watch.  It was almost nine o’clock.  Nina made her way to the door and peeked through the peep hole. 

“Who is it? Can we shut the t.v. off and act like we’re already asleep or not here,” Greg asked.

Nina spun around and looked at him with pleading eyes.  He knew exactly who it was.

“Tell Cameron her timing is superb,” he said before walking upstairs by himself, leaving the ladies to talk it out.

Nina directed her attention to the front door and slowly swung it open.  She wasn’t sure what to expect from Cameron and was quite alarmed to find her oldest friend holding out a silver wrapped box with a purple tulle bow adorning the top.

“What’s this,” Nina asked taking a hold of the box.

“A gift,” Cameron simply replied as she eased passed Nina into the house.  “I was going to wait to give it to you at your lingerie party but thought I’d give it to you now.”

The first thing to come to Nina’s mind was that Cameron was headed back to Chicago, leaving her maid of honor-less.  She held the box tight and returned her attention to Cameron, an apology peering through her woeful eyes.  “Cameron, I’m so incredibly sorry for-“

“Before you start,” Cameron interrupted.  “I want to apologize first.  I have been in agony since I’ve been home and I’m sure no fun.  This isn’t how you should be spending your time before getting married and I’ve been the world’s worse maid of honor.  Walking out on you today when you needed me was horrible and you don’t deserve that.  You’re not Erin and I understand what you were trying to do.”

Nina took a seat on the sofa, watching Cameron pace back and forth as she spoke, searching for what she wanted to say next. 

“And I forgive you for butting in and trying to fix things but the truth is you can’t always fix things Nina.  I’m a grown woman and I have to deal with things on my own and in my own time.  I know you meant well but I have to take care of this.  I’m the one who has to deal with this situation between me and Philip and I have to come to terms with what happened.  Plain and simple.”

“So, you’re not leaving me maid of honor-less?”

“What,” Cameron said standing still, staring in disbelief at Nina.

“I thought you were gonna leave and go on with your life and that I’d officially made your list.”

“My list,” Cameron asked dumbfounded.  “What list? I don’t have a list.”

“Yeah, you do Cam.  The same list Philip and Erin are on.”

“First of all there is no list.  Yes I have... had an extreme distaste for Erin for many, many, many moons but she did that to herself and yet, I still don’t hate her.  I just choose not to deal with her like you.  You know, that whole, burn me once shame on you, burn me again, shame on me philosophy.  As for Philip, you of all people know that I could never hate him.  Philip’s my... well, he’ll always be so dear to my heart no matter what may become of our relationship.  There’s no list of people I have it in for.  You and I just approach things differently and you’re a commendable woman for it too.  Being so gracious to people.  I could use some of that a lot of the time.”

“Oh, thank the Lord,” Nina gasped jumping to her feet and wrapping her arms around Cameron’s neck.  “I thought that was it.  You’d be gone for the rest of my life and wouldn’t ever see you again.”

“And you call me dramatic.”

“You sound like Greg,” Nina said pulling herself away from Cameron.  She returned to her seat on the sofa and patted the space next to her, beckoning Cameron to sit down.

“So,” Nina began.  “What did Philip say to you to make you storm outta here?”Cameron smirked and rolled her eyes. 

“He mentioned that his mother had been asking about me and so I went to visit Mrs. Nadine and sat there talking to her for about three hours.  I didn’t realize how much I missed just talking to her.  You know I would talk to her when I felt I couldn’t go to my mom or dad.  Never have I felt judged or looked down on when I speak with her.”

“Well, you’re missed more than you’ll know,” Nina replied.  “I asked Erin to leave and then I went to go pick up Tyler from my mom’s,” Nina added.  She rested her head on her hand, as she perched her elbow on the back of the sofa.  “He asked if you were here.  Where’s auntie Cammy,” she mimicked her son.  “He misses you.  He loves it when we get a chance to Skype you.”

“Well, I’ll have to make it my business to spend some time by myself with him while I’m here.  I miss him too.”  Cameron kicked off her shoes and sat Indian style on the sofa, making herself at home. 

“How’s he getting along with Greg?”

“He adores him,” Nina smiled a broad, wide smile.  “They adore each other, really.  Greg reads with him every night.  Sometimes I sneak and sit beside Ty’s bedroom door and listen to the two of them and my heart just melts.  My boys.”

Cameron grinned.  “Well, it helped that Greg was never a stranger.  He’s known Tyler all his life.  Remember, Greg was the first one there at the hospital when you had him.  I think he beat Luther there.”

“He did,” Nina answered with wide gleaming eyes.  “And Greg was there during the divorce too.  He had just moved back home and we just sort of started hanging out.  That was around the time I found out about Luther and Erin and Greg was there for me through all of that.  He literally saw me at my worst.  And I later discovered that if he could love me through the ugly then he was worthy of having all my love in return.”

“I always knew he had a thing for you,” Cameron admitted.  “It was obvious.  I don’t know how you didn’t know.”

“The same way it was obvious to the world that you and Philip were madly in love with one another,” Nina countered.Cameron smiled but was clearly taken by Nina’s comment. 

“I guess you got me and Philip pegged.”

“Well,” Nina stated.  “When are you going to talk to him?”

“I spoke with him briefly today at his parent’s house,” Cameron answered.

“We’re going for a jog tomorrow morning.”

“Together,” Nina asked bemused.

“No.  We’re going to meet in between our houses and then run in the opposite direction from each other.  Of course, we’re going to run together.”

“And talk, right?”

“In time,” Cameron replied.  She stared down at her watch and began to stretch and yawn.  “I’d better get going soon but I want you to open the box before I leave so I can explain.”

“I thought you’d never ask.”  Nina grappled with the box, trying her best to take it apart without ripping the pretty packaging.  She finally got everything undone and pried open the box with expectancy.  What could it be?  She removed the lid of the box and removed the gift wrapped in purple tissue paper.  “Is this a garter?”

“It’s your something blue.  I crocheted it.”  Cameron began placing her tennis shoes on and gathered up her belongings. 

“Do you remember that summer your grandmother taught us how to crochet and she made us those scarves?”

“Yeah, I still have my purple one.”

“Well, I took my blue one apart and made this for you.  I added some blue glass beads too.  So this can be your something old and blue.  Didn’t know if you had everything yet but thought I’d cover all basis just in case.”

Nina was on the verge of crying.  “And this is why you are the best maid of honor again.”  She wrapped her arms around Cameron tight before pulling away and wiping a tear from her cheek. 

“And I think this will be the last time I get to be your maid of honor.”

“I think so too.  If this doesn’t work out with Greg I’m just gonna have to be by myself.  But something tells me everything’s gonna be alright for us,” Nina replied in joy and relief as she saw her friend out.  Perhaps things would work out for everyone after all.

Philip – 1997

The cafeteria was louder than usual because the weather was rather bad.  A storm was brewing outside, securing everyone inside during the lunch hour.  Philip sat on the table top laughing at Greg as he searched through his paper sack lunch.  He’d just had another dreadful encounter with Luther McCoy.

“Dude,” Philip began.  “Don’t worry about Luther.  He’s just a jerk.”

“What does Nina see in him,” Greg complained.  “I can’t believe she’s with him.”

“That won’t last long.  Nina’s a good girl and we all know that Luther doesn’t date girls that don’t put out.”

“They’ve been dating for like six or seven months now,” Greg said with concerned eyes.  “That’s a long time for a loser like Luther to go with out... you know.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it man,” Philip replied starting in on his apple sauce.  Mrs. Larson began her way towards the guys and Philip quickly moved from sitting on the table top to an actual chair.

“Mr. Stevens,” Mrs. Larson began.  “I don’t want to see you sitting on the table top again.  You hear me young man.”

“Sorry Mrs. Larson,” Philip answered with puppy dog eyes.  The teacher shook her head with a smile and sauntered off, twisting away, showing off her womanly curves.  This power he had over women was really starting to work for him or it could really get him in trouble.  He had been told that he was magnetic but in the last couple of months, he seemed to be able to get them to do anything he wanted with a simple smile and complimentary comment.

“She’s sleeping with him Philip,” Greg continued.  “She’s got to be.”

“No she’s not.  And there are plenty of fish.  Why are you so dead set on pining over Nina Devereaux because you’re not gonna ask her out?”

“Shut up,” Greg responded.  “I was planning on asking her out to prom as a matter of fact.”

“Really,” Philip asked, looking up in time to make eye contact with Cameron as she walked into the cafeteria.  She was probably doing some extra credit or tutoring.  She smiled in his direction and motioned that she’d be there shortly.

“Then do it,” Philip challenged.

“Oh, you’re one to talk Cam-o-meter.”

“You said you weren’t going to mention that ever in life and my situation with Cameron is way different than you and Nina.  She’s my best friend.  If and that’s a huge if, we were to get together, it could change the dynamic of our friendship.  I’m not willing to lose her because I’m in love with her.  I don’t want to scare her off.”

“Excuses,” Greg stated as he took a huge bite of his sandwich.  “I’m so ready for Christmas break.”

“Me too,” Erin Collins replied as she made a seat for herself in front of Philip. 

“Are you guys going anywhere for Christmas?”

“Nope,” Greg replied.

“How about you Philip,” she pried, acting as if she couldn’t get her milk carton open.  It was this new thing she started doing to get some interaction out of Philip.  He obliged and took the carton from her, slipping it open with ease. 

“I’m going to Mississippi the week after Christmas to visit my mom’s parents,” he answered pushing her milk carton back towards her.

“Cool,” she replied with a smile.  She took a hair scrunchie out of her purse and began to pull her long, thick and curly hair into a ponytail, stacking it high on top of her head.  A few tendrils danced around her neck, as she played with the strands, wrapping them seductively around her index finger. 

“Oh,” Erin said, reaching across the table.  “You’ve got a little something on your face.” She brushed her thumb across his chin and placed her fingers in her mouth.  Philip wrinkled his nose at the gesture and darted his eyes towards Greg.

“No napkins,” she answered as an explanation.

“Thanks,” Philip responded, still confused.  They sat a little longer in silence before Erin started to shiver in her seat a bit.

“Do you guys mind if I sit on that side with you,” Erin asked.  “It’s a bit drafty by this window.”

“Sure,” Greg replied looking at Philip for confirmation.  Philip shrugged and started in on his sandwich.  Erin made it her business to sit closer to Philip than Greg, which made him a little uncomfortable.  She had been hinting that she was interested in him since she got there but this was a bit too much.  She was too forward for his taste.  He really believed that guys should court girls, not the reverse but a lot of the girls their age were jumping on the independent, I can ask guys out if I want train.  Just as he shuffled a little to his right, providing more space in between them, Erin pulled out a huge piece of what looked like triple chocolate cake, a favorite of Philip's.

“Would you like a bite,” Erin asked with a deceitful smile.  She knew the way to a man’s heart was food and Philip just couldn’t say no to triple chocolate cake.

“Sure,” he responded and she instantly lifted up a forkful to his mouth.  The cake was so moist it began to melt in his mouth as soon as it touched his tongue.

“Hmm,” Philip replied, “That’s delicious.”

“Family recipe,” Erin answered sweetly.  “I’ll bring you your own slice tomorrow if you want.”

“That would be great,” he said, distracted by Cameron leaving the cafeteria in his peripheral.  He turned his attention back towards Greg and Erin.  “I should get going.  I gotta get my trig book out of my locker.  See you guys later.”  

He abruptly leaped from his seat, dumped his trash and rushed out the double doors towards Cameron.

Cameron – 1997

She’d been in the cafeteria a whole five minutes when she spotted Erin sitting down with Philip and Greg.  Cameron wasn’t feeling too hot about befriending the new girl.  Erin seemed to be staking her claim in something that didn’t belong to her, namely Philip.  She followed him around like a lost puppy, cheered as loud as she could when he scored touchdowns during football games and laughed as loud as she could at all his jokes, even the corny ones.  It also didn’t help her case with Cameron when a rumor that she had slept with John Davenport after being there only three weeks surfaced and circulated around the school like wild fire.  At first Cameron came to her defense but slowly Cameron saw actions that seemed to solidify the story as truth.  Worst of all, Cameron didn’t want Philip to fall prey to Erin Collin’s siren call.

As soon as Cameron left the lunch line and began her beeline to the boys she saw Erin look over her shoulder, spotting her as she made her way towards the group.  Erin immediately got up from her seat and walked around the table, nestling herself in between Philip and Greg.  Cameron stopped in her tracks and stared, finding a seat at a nearby table.  She sat down and began picking at the vegetables on her tray, studying Erin the vixen as she flirted with Philip.  Cameron’s Philip.  She could feel herself begin to run hot and thought that if she didn’t get out of there soon, she’d atom bomb the whole cafeteria.  Just as she finished her drink, she reluctantly looked up again to find Erin feeding Philip something and she seethed with envy and hatred for the girl.  Who did she think she was? Cameron quickly stood and snatched up her tray, speed walking out of the cafeteria.  Why did she do this to herself? Why did she allow herself to feel for Philip this way, when it was obvious he didn’t feel the same.  Tears stung her eyes as she flew through the double doors and down the hall towards her locker. 

“Cam,” Philip’s voice echoed down the hall. She looked up just as she approached her locker and quickly turned away, trying her best to quickly dispose of the tears flowing down her cheeks. 

“Yeah,” she replied, turning her attention towards him as he stood beside her, leaning against the lockers.  She stared into his bright brown eyes, refusing to let go of his gaze.

“You alright,” he asked, really concerned.  “I thought you were gonna come and sit with us and then you left without saying anything to us.”

“I have a lot to do,” Cameron’s voice almost broke.  She was about to cry in front of him because she felt betrayed.  But why? Philip didn’t belong to her no more than Nina belonged to Greg.

“Have you been crying,” he asked sliding in between her and her locker.

“Why would I be,” she replied, looking down at her hands.  She was fidgeting and didn’t know what to do with them, so she crossed them over her chest.

“Because you’re doing your defensive pose,” Philip said staring back at her with such intensity.

She rolled her eyes and pushed him aside, trying not to let him know how much he affected her.  “It’s allergies, duh.”

“Allergies, huh,” Philip asked.  “Well, you need to take something for that.  You don’t want everyone around here to think you're soft do you?”

“Shut up.”

“I’m just saying, we can’t let everyone know that you’re not so hardcore.  They have to keep the fear.”

“You’re terrible,” she said patting his chest and he grabbed a hold of her tiny hand, holding it tightly in his own.  It took her by surprise but she didn’t pull away, allowing him to hold on to her.

“You ready for Christmas break,” he asked, holding her hand flat against his chest, just above his heart.  She could feel his heart begin to race as she spoke.

“Yeah,” she answered simply.

“Me too,” he replied.  “We still on for our annual Christmas movie marathon, right?”

“Of course,” she said with a slight smile.  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Good,” Philip said, stroking his fingers up and down Cameron’s hand and arm.

Philip – Summer 2011

Tossing and turning all night, Philip anxiously awaited his run with Cameron.  He wasn’t sure what to expect, if she would receive him with open arms or act as if she were repulsed by him.  He woke up at the crack of dawn and drank almost a half a gallon of water before going into the backyard shed to lift a few weights and perform a hundred or so crunches.  He was in better shape than he was in high school and knew his physique had sent Cameron into a little tizzy the day before.  She couldn’t keep her eyes from roaming over his broad shoulders and slick muscled abdominals.  He glanced at himself in the mirror hanging on the door and smiled.  How could she resist this, he mentally asked himself and then reality struck him like lightning.  This was Cameron he was talking about and she wasn’t easily impressed with superficiality.

The small clock chimed at exactly six o’clock and he grabbed his t-shirt, put it on and made his way out of the front door and down the street to Cameron’s parent’s house.  She was already on the porch, stretching, her backside facing him and Philip almost turned around to go back home, instantly stirred by the sight.  She must have gotten a glance of him, as she sprung up from her stretch and gave him a slight smile.

“Good morning,” she spoke low, sleep still in her voice.  She wore running tights and a razor back tank top.  Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and a baseball cap covered her head.

“Mornin’,” he replied, making his way up the walk way slowly.  “You ready to go?”

“Always,” she replied jumping up and down, loosening herself up Philip supposed.  She used to do that when they were younger.  She made her way down the steps toward him and they easily got in step, beginning a light jog towards the park as their warm up.

They didn’t speak for the first five minutes of their run and Philip wondered what was going through her mind.  Staring down at his shoes he decided there was no need to wonder.  He had her right here so why not attempt to break the ice.

“So,” he began.  “I saw your mom and dad a couple of days ago.  Mrs. Esme asked me if I’m still speaking French, in French of course.”

“That sounds like her,” Cameron spoke looking in his direction.  “Well, are you?”

“Actually, I am.  I do some translations for some of the French athletes we interview for stories or at events.  It’s a handy little tool, being bilingual.”

“Really,” Cameron asked amused.  “C'est incroyable.”

“It is pretty amazing,” Philip said with a smile. 

“Nina told me you were a sports writer,” Cameron chimed in without looking up.  She seemed to be somewhat concentrating on her pace.

“Yeah,” he replied trying to keep his eyes focused on his heel-toe strike, though that was almost impossible.  All his eyes wanted to do was roam back toward Cameron.  Even her profile was beautiful.

Noticing that he didn’t know exactly what Cameron’s occupation was, Philip began to pry, “So what have you been up to?”

“Um, I work for an advertising firm in Chicago.  I get to come up with ideas to sell products based on generalizations and judgments,” Cameron said with a fake plastered smile before continuing.  “Some would say it is the perfect job for me.”

“And exactly why would they make that assumption and say that,” Philip asked, giving her all his attention.

“Being a PK and all.  People always thought I was... you know, perfect and didn’t do any wrong, therefore most people assumed my station in life gave me the right to look down on everyone with judgment.”

“You’re as judgmental as the next person Cam,” Philip said.  “We all pass judgments.”

Cameron laughed.  “I know but it was different for me.  I was expected to act and carry myself a certain way and I totally passed judgment all the time but mostly in my mind.  I was so critical of others sometimes and yet thought I was missing out on all the naughty things high school kids did.  A part of me wanted to rebel and lash out but I didn’t... well.  I... you know.”

“We don’t have to talk about that,” Philip said noticing Cameron’s discomfort, he decided to change the subject.  “So, has Nina been unbearable?”

“Aside from her inviting Erin Collins to their house yesterday, no.  She’s been sweet and surprisingly grounded.  I really think Greg’s excellent for her.  He’s so down to earth and unassuming.  She needs that, I think.  With Greg, what you get is what you get.”

“True,” Philip remarked.  A long pause ensued as they continued on their path before he opened his mouth to speak again, the question most plaguing his mind left without a second thought.  “So, are you seeing anyone... back in Chicago?”

As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt his heart begin to race a little faster, nervous about what her response would be.  He studied her body, which instantly became rigid and postured and he could see her mind reeling, though she spoke no words for a long time.

“Actually,” she began slowly.  “I just got out of a relationship.”  Abruptly, she turned her head and stared at Philip, peering into his soul with her dark eyes.   He knew what question was coming next and mentally prepared himself for the answer.  “What about you? Breakin’ hearts or stealing the breath away with your charming southern ways,” she drawled out the last part in her best Louisiana accent.

To an unknowing person, that question would seem harmless.  Maybe even a little playful, but Philip knew better.  It was a jab and a little insight into what was eating away at his relationship with her.  The inflection in her voice when she said breakin’ was the indicator.  She felt slighted by him but he honestly didn’t know why.  At least he thought he didn’t know why.

“Um,” he started cautiously.  “Not anything serious.  You know, just a bunch of first dates.”

“Hmm,” Cameron uttered.  “Must be nice.”  And then they were both silent.

Philip listened intently to nature as Cameron hastened her pace.  They were speaking, holding an actual civil conversation and right now that was good enough for him.

Cameron was quick and seemed to run effortlessly, her breathing regular and her stride long and even.  Her beauty exuded from the inside out as he studied her profile, keeping up with her step for step.  Her ponytail swished from side to side and perspiration began to form and collect all over her flushed brown skin.  She was perfect even in her current state of exhaustive exercise.  Before they realized it, they had ran about two and half miles and started to slow their pace down to a fast cool down walk.  They ended near a bench and began to stretch out together.  Cameron voluntarily gripped Philip’s hands and pulled them behind him, stretching out his pecs and upper arms.  Just like old times.  He obliged and did the same for her.  She smiled when he released her arms and turned to look at him.

“I’m surprised you kept up, even when I quickened my pace.  I guess you do run every day.”

“You doubted me,” he asked walking towards a water fountain.

“I guess I did,” she answered, following behind him to get herself a sip of water.  As he turned around he accidently bumped into her, causing her to lose her balance.  He reached out to catch her and lost his footing as well and found themselves on the ground, their arms and legs intertwined. 

“You okay,” Philip said, slipping his hands behind Cameron’s head, studying her face.  She stared back at him in shock before bursting into laughter.

“I can’t believe we just fell,” Cameron managed through her cackling.  “How clumsy can we get?”

Still in shock, Philip helped her up, studying every inch of her body to make sure she was okay.  Scanning the length of her legs, he spotted a trickle of blood trailing down her right leg and found its source.  She must have cut it against a sharp rock or something.

“You’re bleeding,” he said, forcing her to sit on the bench.  She was still laughing hysterically, perhaps to mask her embarrassment.  “You don’t have to keep laughing.  I’m the reason we fell and why you hurt yourself.”

“You don’t find that we both fell humorous?”

“Not really,” Philip said examining her leg.  He took off his shirt and ripped the sleeve off with ease.  Cameron’s laughter slowly ceased as he began to wrap her leg with his shirt.  He looked up to find her dark eyes staring down at him and he smiled.  After dressing her wound he searched for her hat and found it, dusting it on his shorts before placing it back on her head.

“Can you walk,” he asked stepping back from her.  “Stand up,” he commanded and she obliged, limping a little.  “Are we too far for you to walk back?”

“I’m fine,” Cameron said as she took a few more steps, wincing just enough for Philip to notice.

“Aww,” he spoke.  “You’re such a bad liar.  Always have been.”

He stalked towards her and lifted her up off the ground and cradled her in his arms.  It took her by surprise but she didn’t resist, only giggled as her already flushed cheeks begin to fill with more color.  Philip began slowly towards their neighborhood, making sure he had a good grip on Cameron.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, anchoring her secure position in his arms.  Philip inhaled deeply as they trudged forward, taking in the smell of her, gardenia, just like when they were younger. 

“You’re not really going to carry me all the way back home, are you,” Cameron questioned, leaning her head against his shoulder.  He loved having her right there and wished that he didn’t have to let her go.

“I most certainly am,” he responded, laying the southern drawl on thick and intentionally.  With a smile on his face, he continued on his path towards home, Cameron snuggly braced in his arms.

Cameron – Summer 2011

“After taking off his shirt, he ripped a piece of it off, wrapped it around my wound and then he carried me all the way home from the park,” Cameron said breathily as Nina listened intently to her every word.

“And then he took you up to his old bedroom and you two got it on like a pair of high schoolers,” Nina added with a devilish smile.

“No,” Cameron frowned.  “He took me to his house and properly dressed my wound. Which is fine.  I didn’t really need him to carry me back home but it was nice being in his arms.”

“He’s always been an undercover sweetie, especially with you.”

“Yeah, well.  Maybe not always,” Cameron replied thinking about the past.

“Are you gonna talk to him about what’s been ailing you?”

Cameron bit down on her lip, “Why mess with a good thing? We’re talking aren’t we?”

“But things aren’t completely mended are they,” Nina piped up as she started making her next centerpiece.

“No they are not,” Cameron admitted.  “But I like the way things are right now.  Not complicated and right now that’s alright with me.” If she acted like everything was fine, perhaps it actually was.

“But don’t you think you owe it to him to know why you were so angry when you first ran into him? I don’t even know the full story and you used to tell me everything.”

“I will tell him when I’m ready and you’re butting in-“

“I’m sorry Cam, it’s just that I can see this turning into something really bad if you don’t just lay all your cards out on the table.”

“Nina,” Cameron started.  “I got this under control.”

The two friends sat in silence a little longer wrapping up the last of the center pieces.  Maybe she’d find some time later on today to talk to Philip.  Perhaps he really didn’t really remember what happened between the two of them and Nina was right, keeping her frustration in wouldn’t be good. 

“I think I will talk to him... today,” Cameron broke the silence.

“Talk to who today,” Greg asked as he walked into the kitchen, Philip and Max trailing shortly behind him.

Cameron looked up and instantly made eye contact with Philip, her heart beating a hundred miles per hour just being in the same room as him.  Shortly after the guys entered the kitchen, Erin eased her way towards the doorway frame.  Cameron saw Erin and immediately glanced back at Nina, asking with a look if this was another set up to mend a lost friendship.  Nina only shrugged and bugged her eyes as if she had no clue.  Cameron believed her.

“Ladies,” Greg announced as the four of them stood in front of Cameron and Nina.  “How about a break from the wedding stuff, with a game of touch football? Shirts versus skins? Like old times.”

Cameron hopped up and shook Greg’s hand.  “You’re on and we’re gonna whoop ya’lls tails.”

Philip stepped forward and gently cupped Cameron’s elbow, “You sure you’re ready with your injury and all?”

Cameron chuckled.  “I’m no longer injured thanks to you.  I’ll be fine and I need a break.”

He didn’t let go of her elbow but gave her the okay with a nod of his head.

“Just let us get appropriately dressed for the spanking we’re about to lay on you fellas,” Nina said before smacking Greg on the bottom and rushing upstairs with Cameron.

“Are you alright that Erin’s here,” Nina whispered once they made it up to the top landing of the staircase.

“As long as she stays out of my way and doesn’t say anything rude or crazy we’re fine.”

“Don’t hit her Cameron,” Nina said with worried eyes.  “You’re not gonna hit her are you?”

“No,” Cameron exclaimed.  “Why would I hit her?”

“Because she tried to take Philip from you in high school.”

“Philip and I never dated in high school.  How was she going to steal something that never belonged to me?”

“I’m just saying.  You look like you wanted to choke her out yesterday.”

“I did but I restrained the need to cut off her oxygen supply.”

“Wow, that’s like mob talk,” Nina said with a smirk.  “Remind me never to get on your bad side.”

“Noted,” Cameron said as she pulled on her tank top and strapped on her tennis shoes.

The two descended down the stairs and made their way towards the back yard where everyone resided.  Erin was standing next to Philip and he laughed at something she said just as Nina and Cameron stepped outside.  Cameron felt herself retreat back to the jealous hearted smitten high school girl she once was and began counting backwards from ten to calm her nerves.

Ten...

Nine...

Eight...

Seven... Did she just try to grab Philip’s hand? Concentrate Cameron!

Six...

Five...

Four... Oh no she’s not doing the hair flip and giggle move! How audacious?

Three...

Two...

One...You got this under control Cameron.  You got this. 

“Alright,” Cameron started.  “Let’s rock and roll fellas.”

She sauntered past Philip and winked as she made her way further into the back yard.

Philip mouthed to Max, “She’s fast, she’s fast,” and pointed towards Cameron.  “Stay on her, man,” he finally yelled out just as Erin snapped the ball to Nina.  Cameron took off like lightning into left field and Nina immediately spotted her.  A perfect spiral landed in Cameron’s hands as she took off towards the goal.  As girly as Nina was, she was actually quite an amazing athlete.  The girl had an arm like Tom Brady.

“Score,” Cameron yelled as she flung the ball in the air and started doing the snake. 

“That’s alright,” Philip yelled as he made his way towards Max.  He whispered something in Max’s ear and the two switched positions. 

“Oh,” Cameron began her banter.  “So we’re gonna make this like old times, huh?”

“I could keep up with you then and I can keep up with you now Austin,” Philip rebuked, grinning at her.

The ball snapped and Max ended up getting ambushed by Nina and Erin.  He ran as fast as he could, trying to fake the girls out, looking for an opening to get rid of the ball before they got him.  He saw Greg running up the center and lobbed the ball in the air for him to catch.  The ball looked like it was headed towards Erin and Cameron tried to break to keep Philip from pursuing the ball but he got a slight head start, leaped in the air, grabbed the ball before it even made it to Erin and hauled butt towards the guy’s goal.

“We should have had that Erin,” Cameron yelled.  “You were wide open.”

“Sorry,” Erin apologized, a bit of attitude coming through.  “It’s just a game.”

“If it’s just a game then why are you even playing? Better yet, why are you here,” Cameron asked, arms crossed.

“Max invited me,” Erin answered honestly.  She and Cameron both turned their attention to Max who looked to Greg and Philip for back up.

“Fine,” Cameron said and took her position once more.  She was pissed and was sure she wasn’t masking her distaste for the current company.  Philip reached out and grabbed her shoulder.

“Be nice Cam,” he spoke, staring into her eyes.

“Whatever,” Cameron responded childishly.  “Let’s just play.”

Erin snapped the ball to Nina who reversed and handed the ball back to Erin in a trick play.  Erin was halfway down the yard before the guys even noticed, scoring yet another touchdown for the girls.

“Pure luck,” Cameron uttered under her breath.  Philip gave her this look of disapproval and headed away from the guys goal.  Apparently she was quiet enough. 

Greg got in position and snapped the ball to Philip, who ran the ball about three yards, Nina tagging along side him the whole time.  He saw Greg out of his peripheral and lobbed the ball in his direction.  Before it reached him, Cameron intercepted and came crashing past Max at sonic speed, looking back with a smirk on her face.  And then it happened.  Out of nowhere she hit the ground hard.  Rolling over onto her back she looked up and found Erin, towering over her, loose strands of her perfect spiraled hair poking about.  Cameron quickly came to her feet, steam exiting from every open crevice in her body, and got in Erin’s face.

“Why’d you trip me,” Cameron said through gritted teeth.

“It was an accident,” Erin gritted back.  “You weren’t paying attention and you tripped over my foot.”

“Bull,” Cameron hollered.  “Why would your foot be in my path?”

“You can’t blame me because you’re a klutz,” Erin said crossing her arms over her chest.  “Maybe if you weren’t showboating, you wouldn’t have ended up with dirt and grass all over you.”

And that’s when Cameron happened.  She stepped back a good two feet before lunging towards Erin but didn’t quite reach her, as she was scooped up quickly by strong arms.

“I said it was an accident,” Erin called out again as Philip drug Cameron away.

“Go to hell,” Cameron yelled in return as Philip let her go.

“What has gotten into you,” Philip asked.

Cameron only rolled her eyes and started to head back towards Erin, her steps long and swift but not fast enough.  Philip grabbed her by the waist once more and pulled her away from the group.

“Put me down,” Cameron demanded through gritted teeth. 

“No,” Philip replied calmly.  “Now get in the shed.”

“What,” Cameron asked puzzled, trying to pry his arm from around her waist.  “I’m not going in the shed.”

“Get in the shed,” he replied again, still calm but much more firm.  He let her go and blocked her path back to Erin.  She peered around him and saw Max, Greg and Nina surrounding Nina, obviously getting her side of what just happened.

“I’m so serious right now,” Philip said, standing with his arms across his bare chest.  “Get in the damn shed.  We need to talk.”

Cameron knew that look all to well, he furrowed his brows excessively when he was ticked off.  But she didn’t do anything.  Erin tripped her on purpose and now she was going to get reprimanded for defending herself.

“Fine,” Cameron agreed reluctantly but she wasn’t one to get lectured.  Philip had another thing coming if he thought he was going to scold her on sportsmanship.

He opened the door, allowing her entrance before he entered himself.  He secured the door closed and faced her, staring at her with confused eyes.

“What,” Cameron asked forcefully.

“That,” Philip began, “wasn’t about her tripping you or you falling, was it?”

“What are you trying to get at Philip? Just say what you want to say or ask what you want to ask.”

He moved in closer to her forcing her to back into an old work bench.

“Are you alright,” he asked examining her body for additional cuts or bruises.  This was his not so blatant approach to getting information out of Cameron.

“Oh, like you’re really concerned,” she asked crossing her arms over her chest defensively.  “I’m fine.  No more visible bruises or cuts for you to heal, Superman,” she spoke in her damsel in distress voice.

“Fine,” Philip replied.  “You wanna play this game.  Let’s play the damn game Cam.  Why do you hate Erin so much and more importantly how does this play into our relationship?”

His question caught her off guard and she wasn’t sure if she should just walk away or nail him against the wall with the crap they went through years ago.  Did he really not remember?

“This,” Cameron started.  “Always coming to poor Erin’s defense.  Always putting her first.”

“What are you talking about,” Philip asked, seriously confused.  “When have I ever put anyone before you?”

“Oh, so the wasted years have finally given you amnesia, Philip? You can’t recall a time when I needed you and you weren’t there or when you left Philip without saying goodbye.”

“But I did say goodbye Cameron,” he said looking even more confused, he started to rub his temples.  “I don’t understand.”

“Then I guess you never will.  This conversation is over,” Cameron said trying to get past him but he blocked her path with his body and leaned against the door.

“I’m not letting you outta hear until we get to the bottom of your shitty attitude towards me.”

“Then I guess we’re gonna be in here for a while because I’m not talking about this right now,” Cameron said trying to push Philip aside to get out but he grabbed her arms and pulled her into his sweaty body, staring down at her, leaning in to touch his lips to hers. 

The kiss wasn’t subtle and sweet but hard and possessive.  He swept his tongue along her full bottom lip before biting down ever so slightly, tasting every bit of her mouth.  He slowly released his grip on her arms and the dangled by her side as he backed her up against the workbench once more, towering over her.  His hands slid up her arms and encompassed her neck as the kiss became more gentle and sweet.  Cameron could feel herself getting lost in his mouth but even moreso in him.  Gaining some willpower she pulled her hands up and placed them on his chest pushing him away, a small tear streaking down her face.

She looked up at Philip and slowly shook her head, “Not again, Philip. I refuse to go through this again with you.”  She quickly got past him, swinging the shed door open with force and ran back towards Nina and Greg’s house, leaving Philip alone to contemplate the dissension of their relationship.  It was then that he really realized part of why Cameron felt the way she felt after all these years.  But there was obviously more he had no idea about.

Philip – 1997 (Christmas Break)

“There’s no better holiday movie than ‘Christmas Vacation’,” Philip spoke aloud, removing the VHS cassette from the VCR.  The den was warm and smelled of cinnamon and sugar.  A nice glow from the fireplace cast dark contrasting shadows across the faces of Philip’s guest, as they lounged around waiting to watch the next film.  “It’s classic.”

“I beg to differ,” Nina replied, her nose turned up in disapproval as her legs swung freely over the arm of the oversized recliner and she indulged in the last bite of her sugar cookie.  She slapped her hands clean of any remaining fragments of cookie crumbs and sugar in the manner of a proper and quite frankly spoiled southern debutante.  “It’s funny but the best, I don’t think so.  That title should go to a true classic like... ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ or ‘Miracle on 34th Street’... those are true classic Christmas movies.”

“What,” Greg countered.  “’It’s A Wonderful Life’ is like ten million years old and not to mention they show three people of color, in which only one has actual lines in the way of the court jester.”

“Here we go,” Nina rolled her eyes in agitation.

 “They act like we don’t exist in their world and when we do we’re the servant or entertainer or the crazy Asian who ‘speek fun-nee’ and butchers the English language.”  He turned to Phillip and shrugged.  “No offense man.”

“None taken,” Philip replied with a smile and a shake of his head.  Greg, ever the activist and yet most of his close friends looked nothing like him, though truly there weren’t any other Korean families in their town that weren’t directly related to the Sohn’s.

“I prefer the ‘Grinch Who Stole Christmas’,” Cameron added as she kicked off her sneakers and reclined on the sofa.  “Dr. Seuss is a master at his craft.”

“You would prefer that movie,” Philip said lifting Cameron’s jean clad legs to sit underneath them.

“So,” Greg began, stuffing his face with a couple more warm, freshly baked from scratch sugar cookies Nina and Cameron made, “What are we watching next?”

Nina stood up and began to stretch, standing erect and on the tips of her toes.  “We’re not watching anything Gregory.  You’re taking me home.”

Greg frowned.  “Where’s your car? I thought it was like permanently attached to you,” he mimicked.  “You and the Eclipse are one, right?  That’s what you told me in Physics two weeks ago.”

“I spent the night at Cam’s and my dad took my car in for a maintenance check, now get off your scrawny butt and  fire up that old, rusty Honda Accord of yours.  It needs to be warm when I get in... okay,” she said with a smile.  “Oh and we’ll need to stop by the mall on the way there? I still have to pick up a gift for my nana.”

Greg’s mouth dropped open in shock as his brow furrowed in disbelief and frustration.  Philip leaned over to the recliner Greg sat in and tapped him under his chin.  “You’d better go.  She might find a way to sue you.  You know how lawyer’s daughters can be.”  He leaned in a little closer and whispered in Greg’s ear.  “You know she and Luther are off.  Here’s your chance man.”

Greg turned and looked at Philip with a slight smirk on his face and a shake of his head.  “Alright Nina,” Greg answered as he leapt up from his seat, still smiling at his best friend.  “How about we go now and I’ll treat you to a latte.  Will that suffice for warmth?”

“That’ll do just fine,” she replied in her buttery southern belle voice as she buttoned up her gray pea coat and slipped on gloves over her long thin and freshly manicured fingers.

“See ya later,” Greg said while Nina only offered a wave and lead them out of the den.

“I’m gonna go lock the door,” Philip said to Cameron before disappearing from the den himself.  By the time he made it to the door, Greg and Nina were already in the car, securing themselves in before pulling off.  Greg honked his horn and Philip waved as they sped away.

Trekking back towards the den, he found himself warm and flush all over.  Perhaps it was the fire but in reality he knew what was causing the heat rush.  It was just him and Cameron.  Alone.  His parents and brother went to visit his aunt Marnie in Shreveport for the weekend and he was left to man the fort.  The moment some of the guys from the football team realized he was parent free they tried their best to convince him to throw a party but Philip shut the notion down without hesitation.  This was the second year his parents left him home alone and he wanted nothing more than to continue to have their trust. 

Plopping down on the floor next to a lounging Cameron, Philip began to sift through a stack of video tapes in search of the next Christmas movie they’d watch.  Deciding on three he held them up and called out the names for Cameron to choose.

“Alright,” he started.  “We’ve got Home Alone, While You Were Sleeping or The Nightmare Before Christmas?”

“Oh,” Cameron began as she sat up and took the tapes from Philip.  “Too many good choices here.”  She pondered a bit more, scanning the covers of each video tape before making her decision. 

Philip couldn’t help but stare at Cameron while she contemplated which movie they’d watch next.  Something about the way she looked made his body warm all over.  It was her hair.  She almost never straightened it but decided to do so tonight.  It flung freely around her face and draped her shoulders in a manner Philip could only deem as sexy.

“How about While You Were Sleeping,” Cameron answered with a question.

“I thought you might pick that one.  Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman it is,” he said with a smile as he took the tape from her and made his way to the television set.  Quickly, he placed the tape in the VCR and made his way back to the floor in front of Cameron.

She slid herself on the floor next to him and pulled a blanket over their laps before taking a couple of cookies off of the platter.  She bit into one and handed one to Philip without looking at him, her eyes glued to the previews as if this wasn’t her one hundreth time seeing them.

About forty-five minutes into the movie, one of Cameron’s favorite scenes was up and she was cackling at Joe Jr.’s appearance on the screen.  Philip looked over at her and saw a few tiny specs of sugar and cookie crumb hanging on to the side of her bottom lip.  He lifted his hand to wipe it away but hesitated and stalled, the motion causing Cameron to turn and look at him.  He tried to play it off by resting his arm behind her on the sofa cushions but the awkwardness of it all made him uncomfortable and made Cameron laugh.

“What are you doing,” she asked glaring at him.  He could see little sparks of cinder reflected in her eyes as she stared at him.  Utterly captivated by the glow of the fire light captured in the dark of her irises, he could not tear himself away.

He chuckled and bit down on his bottom lip.  “You have-” he started but thought it foolish to just tell her, so he decided to go ahead and swipe his thumb across her bottom lip, “sugar and cookie crumbs on your lip.”

“Greedy much,” she said taking it upon herself to check for additional cookie crumbs on and around her mouth.  “How embarrassing?”

“It’s all good.  It’s just me,” Philip replied looking away from her reluctantly.  What was it about the light from the fire that made Cameron Austin look like a bronze encased goddess? He’d been having a hard time not staring at her all night and now that she was right beside him that was nearly impossible.  He literally had to fight himself to turn away from her.

“I still don’t want to look like a greedy fool... even if it is just you,” Cameron replied, breaking into his thoughts.  The way she looked at him made him uneasy and comfortable at the same time.  It was then at that very moment in all his eighteen years that Philip knew without a doubt that he was madly in love with Cameron Linette Austin.

“You don’t look like a fool.  I spill stuff on myself all the time,” he answered, trying to put her embarrassment at ease.  “Now, you are greedy.  I’ve never seen a girl put it away quite like you.”

“Shut up,” she said with a wrinkle of her nose while trying to punch him in the arm.  He caught her fist in his palm and squeezed tight while staring at her with raised eyebrows.

“I’m too quick for ya,” he replied with a smirk.  “You know I’m a Jedi”

“Whatever! No you’re not,” Cameron countered while she snuck her other hand out and began to tickle him.  “Didn’t see that comin’ did ya?”

He rolled onto his back and grabbed both of her hands, holding them tightly on his chest.  She tried her best to balance herself on her knees, straddling Philip’s body while maintaining her poise.

“Let go,” she said through laughter, fighting to get loose from his tight grip.

“No,” he gasped through giggles as she began to rock him back and forth from the floor to a fully seated position.  He continued to hold onto her hands but slowly began to loosen his grip.

“Let go,” Cameron shrieked again through giggles but he still held on to her as he came to be seated completely, Cameron still straddling him but now seated securely on his lap.  The rocking completely ceased and they stared at each other for a moment, their chuckling starting to dwindle.

“Fine,” Philip stated as he let go of her hands and before he knew it, his hands were wrapped around Cameron’s neck, drawing his lips to hers.  He couldn’t believe what he was doing but also couldn’t stop himself.  It was like there was a gravitational pull, forcing his lips to hers.  And surprisingly he was getting no resistance from Cameron.  She placed her hands over his and returned the kiss, as if she’d been longing for it herself.  The law of motion was in play at the moment.  For every action, there was an equal and opposite reaction.  In this case the reciprocation of a stolen kiss.

Philip mustered up enough willpower to pull himself away from Cameron and stared at her like a deer caught in headlights.  “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Cameron replied, her fingers touching her swollen lips.  Within seconds, Cameron pounced Philip, forcing him back down on the floor as her mouth consumed his.  The will to cease was becoming increasing difficult as Philip ran his hands down Cameron’s back, ultimately ending at her backside.  Philip suddenly pulled himself away and stared up at her with his golden brown eyes, shocked and a little guilty about what just happened between them.  Cameron was his friend.  His best friend and now all of that would change because he was stupid enough to act on an impulse.

“Not like this,” he said to her, swallowing hard.  He pulled back and sat down in front of her, his head hanging low.  “This isn’t how your first time should be Cameron.”

“What,” she said sitting up, tucking her knees into her body as she wrapped her lanky arms around her legs.  “What do you mean?”

“I don’t think your first time should be like this,” Philip said.  “You deserve more than just sex.”

“Did I do something wrong, Philip,” she spoke low, like her voice was on the brink of breaking and that made him sad and very angry at himself.  Why did he have to kiss her? Why did he have to open this can of worms now?

“Not at all,” Philip answered.  “I just don’t want it to be like this.”

“Like what,” she questioned again.

“Like this is something we do regularly.  You’re not that girl.  No matter how much you want to be or think you should be Cameron, you’re not and I’m not gonna be the guy that just does it with you because I can.”

“Do you not want to do it with me,” she asked concerned.

He chuckled at the sheer ridiculousness of her statement.  He wanted nothing more than to be with her but he wanted it to be right and was willing to wait for the right time and opportunity. 

He moved in closer to her and wrapped his legs around her tiny body before lifting her head up to look at her face.

“I want and need you to know that you are worth waiting for the right time.  You’re not just some chick.  You’re my Cameron.”

“What if I said tonight was the right time,” Cameron countered with a question, her eyes staring into his with complete certainty that she was ready to do this.

He lifted her chin up and kissed her once more gently before she let loose and allowed his arms to cradle her body.  Scooping her into his arms, he came to his feet and carried Cameron upstairs to his bedroom where they made love for the first time.

Cameron 1997 (Christmas Break)

Cameron awoke to the warmth of Philip’s breath gently gliding across her shoulder, engulfed in his bare muscled arm.  Turning her head slowly to face him, she peeked through strands of her dark long hair, staring at her best friend.  Best friend.  The label rang loud and true in her head but they were much more than that now.  Had they really done it? The concept, the idea, Cameron couldn’t fathom but also couldn’t escape the reality that she indeed engaged in the act and with Philip none the less.

He was gentle and sweet and responsible through everything, making sure she was completely comfortable before they actually did anything.  Cameron could almost see the guilt in his eyes after he asked her an eighth time if she really wanted to do this.  She replied by removing her top.  If that wasn’t confirming enough, then she didn’t know what else could be. 

Philip did his best to set the mood, lighting candles and playing Sade on his stereo.  He pulled out some protection from his top drawer and then they carried on.

It was uncomfortable, awkward and painful but Cameron didn’t regret what she’d done.  Perhaps because it was with Philip.  She had always felt a bond with him but this moment in their relationship just sort of solidified it for her.  She felt like there was real love there and that they were destined to be together.

Philip’s eyes blinked heavily as he released his grip around Cameron’s thin body.  He pulled the covers further up her back and gently kissed her shoulder.

“You up,” he asked, as she stirred once his lips departed from her skin.  She turned to face him, sliding her hair from her face to behind her ear.

“Yeah,” she answered with a slight smile.

“Are you alright,” he asked concerned.

“Uh-huh,” she mumbled.

“You sure.”

She nodded and began to stroke the side of his face with the back of her hand.

“You know,” Philip began.  “If you don’t wanna do this anymore... no pressure.  We don’t have to.  I don’t want this to change things for us.”

“Are you saying you don’t want to do this again?”

“No, no, I just don’t want you to feel like we have to continue doing this if you don’t want to.  I would LOVE it if you wanted to do it again but it’s all up to you. Okay?”

His sweet consideration just made her want him even more and she leaned in for a quick kiss but he obviously felt the need to do otherwise as he pulled Cameron closer towards his body, wrapping his arms tight around her waist.  He rolled over onto his back, Cameron securely on top of his body and they made love once more as the break of daylight loosely filtered through the blinds in Philip’s bedroom.

Cameron – 1997 (Spring Semester)

An immediate blast of cool air accosted Cameron and Nina as they entered the girl’s locker room.  It was an unseasonably hot March day.  Nina was suiting up for swim practice and Cameron was dressing up for doubles practice with Cassidy Sloan, her new partner.  She was thrilled she wasn’t paired with dead weight like last year.  Karen Landers was a nice girl but a terrible tennis player.  Hustling after the ball was apparently something she wasn’t willing to do, leaving Cameron to almost man the entire court herself.  Two against one was never fun. 

Rummaging through their gym bags and lockers, the two friends made small talk, gossiping about who’s dating who at school and how they wanted to dress for prom.

“I’m thinking black,” Nina stated, admiring her figure in one of the many full length mirrors adorning the walls of the girl’s locker room.  “A sleek, black halter dress with a low cut back.  So classic.”

“I saw this awesome two piece,” Cameron added.

“A two piece?” Nina halted her examination of her shape and gave Cameron her undivided attention.  “What do you mean a two piece?”

“Not what you’re thinking,” Cameron explained.  “I saw it in an issue of Seventeen and I think I’m going to see if my mom can help me make it.  It was a cute off the shoulder top that showed a sliver of tummy and a full, almost tutu like skirt with glitter and sequins.  It was so fun and adorable.”

“And extremely girly... and definitely not you, so I thought,” Nina commented.  “So, the next big question is who are you going with?”

“I have no idea,” Cameron sighed with a slight smile, daydreaming of Philip asking her to prom.  She took the seat next to Nina on the bench, her tennis skirt and racer back tank top resting in her lap.  “I guess I’ll just have to be patient.”

“Whatever,” Nina said with a roll of her eyes.  “I have a feeling that Philip’s going to ask you out.”  She wrapped her large towel around her body and began to undress.  “You two have been even more cryptic and conjoined than ever.  Is there something going on between you two? And before you say I’m just tutoring him in math, I know that Philip’s passing with flying colors.  He doesn’t even really need your help.”

“We’ve just been hanging out,” Cameron answered honestly.  They had been hanging out quite a bit lately.  She just opted to leave out the fact that she and Philip were having sex almost every week.  “A lot.  Before we know it school will be done and we’ll all be at different schools and Philip’s going to visit his birth mom so...”

Cameron’s voice trailed off at this last bit of information and her eyes seemed to turn sad.

“Are you gonna go with him,” Nina inquired.

“I don’t,” Cameron took in a deep breath.  “I don’t know.  He hasn’t really asked me again and the last time he did, I kinda gave him the run around which ticked him off but it just seems odd that he wants me to go with him.  Don’t you think?”

“I think he really likes you and he wants you to meet his birth mom.” 

“But that’s like a really big deal, Nina.”  Cameron frowned.  What she really wanted to say was, what if the mom doesn’t like her?  What if the mom wants to spend time with him alone?   She hasn’t seen him since he was born.

“Well, think about it some more.”

“Believe me, it’s been haunting me more than I’d like to ever admit.”

“Speaking of dates, who are you going with,” Cameron asked.  “I hope you’re not going with Luther.  He’s such a jerk.”

“Yeah, well.  He’s been a jerk all of his life.”

“I know,” Cameron agreed.  “I bet he won’t mess with me again.”

“Girl, Luther’s not afraid of many people but he fears you.  Like, he’s been afraid of you since third grade.  What did you say to him to get Philip’s lunch money back?”

“I can’t remember.  Something off the hook I’m sure.”

“I think it’s also the fact that your dad is a preacher.  He thinks if he messes with you he’s going to Hell.”

Cameron giggled at the sheer stupidity of Luther’s thoughts. 

The girls pulled themselves together, dressed for their respective sports and continued to make small talk just as Erin Collins walked into the locker room.  Her face was pale white like she’d been spooked by a ghost.  Cameron opted to ignore her arch nemesis.  Erin Collins had one thing on her agenda, to get Philip but Cameron was well aware of her intrigues. 

No matter how hard she tried to ‘warn’ Philip about Erin, he seemed to have a soft spot for the girl, lecturing Cameron on being more open and accepting of Erin.  Yeah, she was a little odd but she was new and just trying to find her way in a new place according to Philip.  He constantly told Cameron to put herself in Erin’s shoes but in Cameron’s mind that would never happen.  Erin had ulterior motives and was willing to do whatever to get what she wanted.  Philip was her goal and Cameron and anyone else was an obstacle she was willing to take out.

Once Philip told Cameron she was paranoid and a little jealous, which totally upset her but held some truth.  She did fear Erin coming between them and as of late they were closer than ever.  Their friendly math tutoring meetings turned to hard core lip locking sessions with little studying.  They didn’t verbally declare that they were a couple but most certainly were acting like it.  They just kept everything under wraps from everyone.  Mostly to keep her dad at bay, since Cameron wasn’t allowed to date until she was eighteen, and her reputation in tact.  It was their little secret.

“Why so down Erin,” Nina asked, interrupting Cameron’s thoughts. 

Erin did appear to have a rather horror stricken look on her face as she approached the two girls.  She leaned in close which caused Cameron to retreat slightly.

Just above a whisper Erin spoke, “I’m pregnant.”

“What,” Nina exclaimed, her voice echoing off of the tiled walls.  “By who?”

“Shhh,” Erin pursed her lips and covered her mouth with her index finger.  “I don’t need the whole school to know.”

“Well,” Nina started whispering too.  “Who’s the father?”

“I -,” Erin began, her eyes welling up with tears.  “I don’t think I should say.”

“It’s me Erin,” Nina said.  “You can trust me.  Who is he? Were you raped? What?”

“No, it was consensual.”

“Just tell us who it is,” Cameron barked, intrigued by who it was.  Maybe now she and Philip would be in the clear.

“It might be Philip or George Hamiliton.”

Cameron’s eyes widened and she began to shake her head in disbelief.  “Excuse me, who?”

Erin leaned in closer and began to speak lowly.  “I said Philip or George.”

“Philip Who,” Cameron barked rather loud and abruptly.  “Rockmore?”

Erin rolled her eyes before she spoke again, “Stevens.”

“Bullshit,” Cameron hollered.

“Cam,” Nina said with a frown.  “Now you know you don't cuss.  Calm down.”

“No, I’m not going to calm down.  She’s lying on Philip.”

“How do you know,” Erin challenged.  “It’s not like you’re giving him the goods.  Are you with him during his every waking hour?”

And at that Cameron became silent.  Shut down because she couldn’t blurt out what she knew was true.  Yes she was sleeping with him and yes she was with him during his every waking hour, mostly.  But she couldn’t say a thing because no one could know about them.

Nina – Summer 2011

Yesterday Cameron blew up, walked away and wouldn’t return anyone’s phone call after they all filled her voice message mailbox with pleas and apologies.  She finally called Nina back this morning and sounded surprisingly chipper and happy, which in Nina’s mind was an indication that Cameron was about to set it off. 

But she was not going to let her set it off today.  No, tonight was the night the Sohn’s were throwing them a traditional Korean wedding rehearsal dinner.  Nina needed this night to go smoothly, as she was really trying to get back in the good graces of Mimi.  She didn’t exactly understand why Mimi didn’t like her.  Maybe it was because she didn’t know her or maybe Mimi was just racist.  The hell if Nina knew anything anymore but she did know one thing for sure, she was not going to allow anyone to ruin their rehearsal dinner. 

Planning from the moment she woke up that morning, Nina quickly, set their dining room up with her mother’s best linens and china.  Every place setting was arranged to perfection from left to right.  She then strategically planned where everyone would sit, careful not to sit Erin near Cameron or Philip and that Cameron and Philip were near each other but not next to each other or in each other’s direct eyesight.  Greg’s mother came about two hours early to complete the traditional Korean dishes that were going to be served, giving Nina ample time to clean herself up and prepare for the acceptance of their families and bridal party.

Mimi was the first to arrive, donning a beautiful midnight blue frock with matching ballet flats.  She appeared jovial, with a bright smile on her face, holding up a bag as Nina swung the front door open for her entrance.

“Here,” Mimi spoke, shoving the bag directly into Nina’s chest.

“Thank you Mimi,” Nina spoke through gritted teeth, her face wrinkled in frustration.  She spun around on her heels and faced Mimi, a fake plastic smile plastered on her raspberry stained lips.  “You shouldn’t have.”

“I shud hauv wha-?”

“No, no, Mimi.  It’s a common idiom.  Thank you but you didn’t have to bring a gift.”

“Whoo you caulll ideeot? I jus breeng gif fa you.  I caan tak back if you no wan,” Mimi snapped before turning around herself, progressing further through the house.  “Where Greg? I tole himm sheee not lik-us.  Rude,” Mimi spoke aloud.

“He’s in the kitchen with Ms. Sonia, Mimi,” Nina sound inhaling deeply, as her fiance emerged from the dinning room.  She looked at Greg with stern eyes and slid her index finger severely against her neck before pointing at Mimi.  Greg gestured with a slight nod of his head and mouthed ‘It’s alright baby’ before leaning down to give his grandmother a hug.  He pointed towards the kitchen and patted Mimi on the back before approaching Nina, taking the bag from her hand.

“This bag is heavy,” he said, placing it on the console table near the front door.  He turned back towards Nina and grabbed her hand before leaning in for a kiss.  “It’s just a few hours and then they’ll all be gone and we’ll have the house to ourselves again.”

“Mimi hates me and I don’t even know what I did for her to hate me so,” Nina complained.  “At least she said one word we could all understand clearly.  Rude,” Nina mimicked.

“It’s not you babe.  Mimi’s just overprotective of me.”

“She did not do that when Charles and Dina got married.”

“She doesn’t like Charles.  He use to only speak English to her on purpose when we were younger and it use to piss her off.  And if it’s any consolation she calls Dina ‘dat white ting.’  She doesn’t even refer to her as a person.  At least your a ‘blaack gall.’  I mean that’s hopeful, right?”

“No,” Nina said before rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her chest.  Do you think I could get away with tawk lik funee ill will ashun ladee around her? Because I would totally do it and wouldn’t care.  I’d be like the evil grand-daughter-in-law version of a honey badger.”

“Because honey badger don’t care,” Greg said with a snap of his finger and roll of his neck.

“Hush your mouth,” Nina said with a laugh as she leaned in and kissed Greg on the cheek.

“We’ll get through this together.  Me and you, alright?  Even if I have to defy tradition and kick everyone out if they get out of line with you.”

“You’d do that for me,” Nina asked with a smirk on her face.

“For you, I would lasso the moon,” Greg answered, referencing one of Nina’s favorite movies ‘It’s A Wonderful Life.’  “By the way, I can’t wait to get you out of that dress.  You look great in it but better with it off.”  He began raising the roof and biting his lip just as the door bell rang.  Nina began to laugh and excused herself from Greg to answer the door.

She swung the door open and it was Philip but he wasn’t alone.  Cameron was waiting in the front yard a good distance away, her arms wrapped around her waist as she patiently waited... but for what.

“Hey,” Nina spoke, leaning in for a hug so she could get a better look at Cameron hanging out in the dark front yard.  She pulled herself away from Philip with a confused look on her face. “Is that-“

“Cameron,” Philip answered with a deep sigh.  “Yes.  We stood there for a good five minutes while I had a conversation with myself.”

“She’s not speaking,” Nina questioned.

“To me... again,” Philip responded.

“I’m gonna go talk to her,” Nina said flouncing past him through the door.

“And I’m gonna go find some bourbon,” Philip replied as he closed the door behind Nina and made his way to the kitchen.

Outside Nina met Cameron half way along the path to the front door. 

“Cute dress,” Nina said, admiring the halter dress Cameron adorned.  “Now before we proceed to go into the house, lets get one thing clear, you and I spoke for a long time this morning and we discussed that you would not hulk out on me or anyone else at this rehearsal dinner.  Now if you feel like you are gonna have hulk tendencies, then you best be on your way.”

“Nina,” Cameron spoke, agitated.  “Calm down.  I’m not gonna hulk out on anyone.”

“Then why did you just ignore Philip.”

“I’m a little embarrassed by my behavior yesterday and I just didn’t know what to say to him so I didn’t say anything at all.”

Nina scanned Cameron’s face and body language, scrutinizing and assessing if her words were true.  “I believe you.”

Nina placed a friendly arm around her friend’s shoulder and led her into the house. 

As soon as they entered the door they were accosted by Greg’s parents, Sonia and George, Mimi, Greg, Charles, Dina and Philip. 

“Well,” Nina started, taking Cameron’s hand bag from her to place in the guest bedroom.  “We’re only missing a few more guests and then we can get started with dinner.”  She walked passed Philip who was obviously transfixed on Cameron.  She really hoped nothing would go down tonight.

When she returned Mimi had Cameron in a warm embrace.

“Ahh, Cami.  You looka so pree-ty.  I don-no why you no like Greg.”

“No Mimi.  Greg’s just a great friend.  Besides I’m not Nina.  He’s always really cared about and love Nina.”

“Uh-huh,” Mimi responded curtly, just as Philip approached the two women, staying closer to Cameron’s side.

“Oh, Phil-lip.  Hansum yung-man.”  She scanned Philip and Cameron as they uncomfortably stood side by side.  “You too-gether, yes?”

Cameron inhaled deeply as if the question took her breath away and she desperately needed oxygen.  Philip offered a reply.  “No Mimi, we’re not together.”

Cameron abruptly turned towards Philip and looked him in the eyes before allowing her gaze to be forced in another direction.  “Excuse me Mimi,” Cameron replied as she made her way towards Dina and Charles.  Philip’s eyes trailed her every move as her presence moved away from him.

“You lik-her, no,” Mimi asked, moving in closer to Philip.

He looked at Mimi and smiled, “Very much.”

“Than go aff-ter her.  Sheee no wan no sof-man.  Cami need stroongg-man.  You, Phil-lip is stroongg-man.  Okay,” Mimi encouraged.  She patted him on the back and proceeded towards the kitchen.

Greg approached Nina who leaned against the door frame that lead down the hall to their guest bedroom.

“What are you thinking,” Greg asked snaking his arms around her waist.

“Do you see the way Philip is looking at Cameron,” Nina spoke.  “It’s like a longing.  I can’t believe those two never did anything when we were in school.  And by the way, Mimi is beastly.  Did you see that heffa talking to Cameron like they were the best of buds?”

“First of all, Cameron practiced speaking English with Mimi after school everyday our freshman year of high school, so cut her some slack.  They have history.  And don’t call her a heffa.  She doesn’t need to add additional slang terms to her arsenal of words.  Secondly, Philip and Cameron did sleep together in high school.”

Nina turned to face her fiance with bulging eyes, “What? No way.”

“Yeah, way,” Greg answered.  “Philip swore me to secrecy.  I thought you’d known by now.”

“You’re not joking,” Nina replied again, still stunned at this news.

“Nope,” Greg answered.  “They had to keep it hush, hush because of Cameron being a PK and her dad and stuff but they were totally getting it on during the spring semester of our senior year.”

“Wow,” Nina said stunned.  “And she never once said a thing to me about it.  Not even after we got older.”

“Well,” Greg answered.  “In her defense, baby... and don’t take this wrong way but it’s the truth.  You can’t hold water.”

Nina turned to look at Greg with ‘how dare you’ eyes.

“I’m just saying,” Greg said with a smirk.

The doorbell rang and the last of their guests arrived.  In that group were Erin and Max.  This was bound to be a blast.  A blast of ungodly heat.  They were officially in hell with all these people and conflicts in the mix.

Philip – 1997 (Spring Semester)

Philip’s eyes honed in and followed a pacing Cameron as he sat silently on the edge of his bed, waiting for her to speak.  He could see marks from the soles of her Chucks form in his bedroom carpet from her dragging her feet as she moved back and forth, which made him cringe.  He wanted desperately for her to stop and just tell him what was going on and not kill the carpet during the process.  His mom would have a fit.  She’d met him on his front porch when he got home from school for ‘math tutoring’ or so he thought.  She looked distraught when he approached her and she immediately jumped up from her seat on the steps and grabbed his hand, rushing him through the front door and upstairs to his bedroom.  Once they were safe behind closed doors, he slyly made his move, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to his body but she resisted, lightly pushing him away and asking him politely to have a seat.  And there he was, patiently waiting and rather confused about what had Cameron so uptight and upset.

“What’s up,” he finally spoke, apparently breaking Cameron’s concentration, as she halted and stood in front of him with concerned eyes.  Thank goodness.  He thought she’d walk the carpet out until there was only concrete to be seen.

“Erin Collins,” she began, holding up her hand, an indication for him to close his already opened mouth to protest against her usual bi-weekly Erin rant.  “Let me finish.  Erin told Nina and me today in the locker room that she was pregnant and that the baby could be yours or George Hamilton's.”

“What,” Philip said with a slightly confused smile on his face.  He laughed at the ridiculous notion.  He stared at Cameron who looked like she was possibly on the verge of tears.  She never cried.  He composed himself to be more serious before he began to speak again.  “You know that’s not true, right?”

“Yeah,” Cameron said, though she didn’t sound so convinced.  She took a seat beside him and gripped his hand tight in her own.  “What are you gonna do about it?”

“I’ll talk to her,” Philip replied, staring into Cameron’s face.  Her eyes moved from his to their cupped hands.  “What do you think I should do?”

“Let me punch her in the throat so she can’t go around saying you’re the father of the supposed child she’s carrying.”

Philip laughed.  “Cam, don’t you think you’re being a bit irrational?”

“I don’t think you’re not taking this seriously enough.  It’s your reputation on the line and she’s smearing it because she wants so badly to be with you.”

“We all know Erin’s a little pot stirrer.  I mean she probably said that just to get under your skin.”

“No,” Cameron said jumping to her feet.  “You weren’t there and you didn’t see her face.  She believed without a shadow of a doubt that you could possibly be the father of her child.”

“She also said George could be the father of her child which is a lot more believable than me since she’s been hanging out with him every day after school.  He’s even admitted to us more than once that he was hittin’ that.”

“So you haven’t had any... close... encounters with her,” Cameron finally asked.  He could tell by her tone that she didn’t want to ask him that but couldn’t resist either.  She stood in front of him, a look he’d never seen before consumed her face; a mixture of doubt and fear he thought.

Philip rested his elbows on his knees and inhaled deeply before looking back up at her with serious eyes, focusing in on the darks of her pupils.  How could he let her know that she was the only one for him? What could he do to convince her that he meant every word he’d said to her since they’d been together? He could actually see himself married to her with children of their own, as frightening as that was for him.  He’d awaken in the middle of the night two weeks ago, sweat dripping down his torso, thinking he’d gotten Cameron pregnant, his mind reeling through the past three months of their sexual activity.  He’d been very careful and they always used protection.  If he’d gotten anyone pregnant it would have been her.  And he just couldn’t, wouldn’t do that to her.  He loved her too much to jeopardize their relationship and futures.  “I couldn’t and never will do anything like that to you.  You do know that, right? And how would I be able to do that when we’re practically together almost from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed?”

Cameron exhaled heavily, like she’d been holding her breath the entire time. 

“Philip,” she released a nervous snicker.  “I’ve spent most of my life seeing you with other girls.  I’m not a fool.  I know that they gravitate towards you and that you like the attention.  I mean who wouldn’t?”

“I also don’t act on every impulse Cameron.  You give me no credit,” he said slightly perturbed by her assessment.  Sure he had an advantage over the average guy.  Philip knew he was a good looking guy but he didn’t use that to sack girls.  It was always all in good fun.  He was being a teenager.  “You’ve known me a long time and have I ever did anything shady to any girl I’ve dated.”  He waiting patiently for her reply.

“I’m sorry,” Cameron began, rolling her eyes, frustrated at herself he assumed.  She buried her face in her hands before looking at him again.  “I didn’t mean that in a bad way.  I’m just letting you know that I know what I got myself into when we started this.  But I’m not willing to share not one part of you with anyone other than your parents.”  Her face was flushed with embarrassment.  She was genuinely scared to lose him and that made him want her even more.  She was a fighter and she was willing to fight for him.

Philip reached out his hands for her to take and she obliged.  He pulled her thin body into his arms and buried his face into her stomach, taking in her smell while she ran her fingers through his messy hair.  He pulled his face away from her body and stared up at her face and said something he’d wanted to say to her for a very long time.  “I love you Cameron.”

Her lips parted slowly but no words came out and her eyes widened, in shock he supposed.  Coming to the conclusion that he’d startled her with his admission, he decided to change the subject.  “I’ll talk to Erin in the morning before home room, okay?”

Cameron only nodded in response and took a seat beside him on his bed.  They sat there in silence for a moment and Philip wondered what was running through her mind.  She did believe him, didn’t she?  Before he even realized, Cameron had grabbed his chin, forcing his face to look towards her.  Her eyes roamed all over his face, taking in every detail before she began to speak.  “I love you too Philip.”  And then she leaned in for a kiss.

They pulled away before going much further and Philip reached into his back pack and pulled out two pieces of paper, handing them to Cameron.  She stared at the paper in her hand and a smile began to spread across her lips. 

“Will you go to prom with me,” Philip asked.

She quickly averted her eyes to him and leapt off of his bed in joy, wrapped her slender arms around his neck and plastered his face with kisses.

“I take it that’s a yes,” he asked.

“Yes,” Cameron said with a bright smile.

Erin – 1997 (Spring Semester)

She didn’t know what she was going to do or how she was going to tell her mother but she needed some options and she needed them quickly.  How did she get herself in this mess anyway? Easy, by turning into the girl she swore she would never become again.  All to impress a guy who wasn’t even remotely interested in her.  He was too busy pawning over miss goody two shoes Cameron Austin. 

If anyone thought that Philip and Cameron couldn’t become tighter than they were, they were mistaken.  It didn’t go unnoticed by Erin that they were practically joined at the hip after Christmas break.  It was like they were secretly dating or something.  Once, after school, Erin went to meet up with George after baseball practice, which also gave her a chance to admire Philip from afar.  She waited in the bleachers, while the guys wrapped up and headed back to the dugout.  Out of her peripheral, she saw Cameron hanging out by the equipment racks, obviously waiting on Philip.  She was still in her tennis garb, her hair was in a high tight bun on top of her head and her skin was flushed and rosey.  She was a pretty girl and Erin could see why Philip liked her but she was so self-righteous, always stating what’s right and what’s wrong.  It was annoying really. 

Just as the coach dismissed the guys, Philip walked over to Cameron and placed his hand on her lower back, escorting her towards the locker rooms.  Erin found it a little odd but brushed the action aside until she met Cameron and Nina in the locker room earlier this week.  She’d been eavesdropping in on their conversation prior to entering.  It hurt her ears to hear Nina tell Cameron she thought Philip was going to ask her out.  Cameron was so dull.  He should be with her if he really wanted to have a good time.  Instead of just going in minding her own business she opted to do what she’d come to do best, get under Cameron’s skin.  She knew the baby was George Lewis’ child without a doubt.  She’d been sleeping with him and only him for over six months and they hadn’t used protection on several occasions.  And she might as well start telling people before she began to grow like a cow.  Better she let everyone know than be the talk of the school, so she decided to play a game.  She’d admit her pregnancy to Nina and Cameron but not before making Cameron squirm.  If Cameron reacted harshly to her saying Philip was the possible father of her child, Erin would know for sure something was up.  And she did.  Cameron got so angry and upset to the point of swearing before she stormed out of the locker room.  If Cameron wasn’t dating Philip, then there would be no need for her to explode the way she did.  There was much more going on than what they were letting on and Erin had every intention to get to the root of it.  Perhaps, the preacher’s kid wasn’t so self-righteous after all.

Erin hurried down the hall to home room, struggling to keep up with her usual pace.  She was two months pregnant and could feel the effects of another human being growing in her body.  Constantly lethargic and tired became her usual constant state of being.  She was about eight feet from the door when Philip halted her path.

“Hey,” he called out just before she approached him.  “I need to talk to you.”

Cameron must have run back and told like the little snitch she was.  “Sure,” Erin replied.  “What’s up?”

Philip leaned in and whispered, as so no one near them could hear.  “So rumor has it that you’re pregnant and that you think the kid could be mine,” his eyes widened in disapproval of the lie.  “Or George Hamilton's.”

“Did you hear that from Nina or Cameron,” she asked with a devilish smile but Philip did not smile in return.  He was quite stoic actually.  “C’mon, it was a joke.”

“That’s really nothing to joke about.  We will never ever have sex.  You’re not my type.  So keep my name out of your mouth.  Okay?”

“It was just a joke Philip.  Lighten up.  You’re acting like Cameron.  What, you can’t take a joke now?  Is little Miss perfect Cameron rubbin’ off on you?”

“That’s not the point,” Philip said, his voice sharp and cutting.  “You can’t go around spreading lies and rumors about people.  It don’t work like that.  If you want to make friends, you’ve got to be a friend.”

Erin stared at him.  He’d raised his voice at her and appeared to be very angry.  Maybe she had taken things too far.  She would have eventually told the truth.  She was just having a little fun before she wouldn’t be able to have any more fun.  Before she knew it, she’d be a single teenage mom trying to make it on her own.

“I’m sorry,” she replied in a soft tone.  “I really mean that Philip.  I just... I don’t have anybody.”  Her voice cracked and a tear fell down her cheek which she quickly wiped away.  She didn’t want to show weakness or fear but that’s exactly how she felt.

“So you’re really pregnant,” Philip asked a little stunned.  He must have thought the whole thing was a gag.

Erin slightly laughed to keep herself from crying before nodding her head, another tear trickling down her cheek.

“Look,” Philip said walking closer to her.  “You have options.  You can keep the baby or you can give it up for adoption.  There’s abortion but I kinda have mixed feeling about that.”  His eyes looked downcast after he spoke.  “I could have been aborted.”

She looked up at him a little shocked at his words.  What did he mean by he could have been aborted?

“I’m adopted actually,” he admitted shortly after his comment.  “That’s what I meant by the abortion thing.”

“Really,” Erin asked, a little taken that he’d talk about that with her.  Erin offered a smile in return.  He was opening up a part of himself to her as condolence.  It was nice seeing him show that he cared, though she never doubted he was that type of guy.  No one seemed to care at all, so his words really touched her.  She told George about two weeks ago and he had terminated all communication with her from that point on.  Philip, on the other hand, was willing to lend an ear and even give her suggestions.

“Yeah,” he replied as they walked towards their home room class.  “My mom and dad told me last year and I just recently got in touch with my real mom.  I’m gonna go visit her this summer.”

“Wow,” Erin replied.  “You found her?”

“She had herself placed in a system where if her real child wanted to find her, she wouldn’t be too difficult to find.  I got the name of the adoption agency from my mom and dad and within a week or so I was in contact with Tracey, my real mom.  We wrote and talked all last summer.  It was awesome getting to know where I came from.  She told me she was seventeen when she had me and that my dad died in a motorcycle accident about three months after she found out she was pregnant.”  Philip stopped at the door of the classroom and looked at Erin.  “I’m not gonna bore you with anymore details but I can get you some information if you’re interested?”

“Sure,” Erin replied.  She smiled as he opened the door for her.  “I’d like that very much.”

“No problem.  I’ll get it to you.”

Cameron – 1997 (Prom Night)

Gentle spring breezes floated around Cameron as she stood outside of the hotel waiting for their limousine to pick them up and take them to the after party at the school.  Philip came up behind her and tossed his tuxedo jacket around her shoulders before whispering sweet nothing’s in her ear.  She grinned as he excused himself to go talk with Greg for a moment as they waited. 

Cameron slipped her arms inside of Philip’s jacket, taking in the smell of him that lingered in his jacket.  She could stay wrapped up in him forever if that was possible.  She was over the moon in love with Philip, to the point where it actually scared her sometimes.  She’d placed him on a pedestal before but now he was more like an idol she couldn’t stop thinking about or worshipping.  Sometimes, she felt like them sleeping together was a mistake and other times she’d find ways to justify her behavior.  The truth was Cameron felt like she’d compromised a part of herself and her faith by going this far with him.  It was a constant push and pull in her mind that weighed heavily on her more than she’d ever admit to anyone, though she knew God was always in the know.

Chilled hands found refuge in the pockets of Philip’s jacket as their limo pulled up.  She felt a piece of paper inside and pulled it out, thinking it was their prom ticket stubs.  To her surprise it was a folded piece of notebook paper.  She thought for a moment to just tuck it back inside the pocket but curiosity got the best of her and she decided to search the contents of the paper.  It had the name of one of the local adoption agencies name and phone number scrawled across it along with a non local phone number and the name Tracey written underneath that.  Tracey was Philip’s real mother’s name, she thought to herself, staring down at the piece of paper snug between her fingers. 

“What’s up,” Philip asked approaching her.  She briefly looked up and stared at his smiling face.

“What’s that,” he asked, nodding towards the piece of paper Cameron held in her hands.

She hesitated for a moment before handing it to him.  “It’s yours.  My hands got cold, so I placed them in the pockets of your jacket and pulled this out... and read it.”  She nervously laughed.  “What’s it for?”

“Uh,” Philip began.  “I was gonna give it to Erin.  She’s considering giving her baby up for adoption and I told her I’d get her some info.”

Cameron shook her head in affirmation but his mother’s name and phone number scrawled on the paper kept gnawing at her.  Why was he giving Erin his real mother’s contact information?

“Why is your birth mom’s name and number on the paper? What does Erin need that information for?”

“Don’t do that,” Philip said with a heavy sigh.  “She needs help Cameron.  I would think you of all people would show her a little more compassion.  She’s a scared pregnant teenager.  I thought talking to Tracey would ease her mind some.  To talk to someone who’d gone through something similar.”

“Excuse me,” Cameron’s face frowned, her brow furrowing in anger.  “I haven’t said a word to you about you cancelling on me or you running to the aid of Erin Collins for the past four weeks.”  Her arms abruptly swung across her chest in defense as her verbal attack began.  “You didn’t think I’d notice you’d been hanging out with her more often and inviting her over to your house? And I have tried so hard not to say anything and to just let it be.  Convincing myself that you’re just being a nice guy and trying to reach out to her because no one really likes her.  I’ve been trying to be an understanding girlfriend, not questioning your or her motives, so don’t lecture me about compassion.  The truth is Erin got herself in the mess she’s in.  Not you or me but her and George.”

“You could just as easily be in the same boat as Erin, Cameron.  Have you thought about that? What if we weren’t careful? And I know you don’t like her but the girl needs some help and I’m not going to stand by and let her suffer through something when I can help her out.  I don’t care how conniving she may or may not be.  Everyone needs someone, sometimes Cam.  So maybe you shouldn’t spout off about Erin getting herself into the mess she’s in.  You’re being a hypocrite and I don’t like it.”

Cameron slowly took off Philip’s jacket and handed it to him before turning her back on him and walking away.  He called out to her several times but she continued her stroll, daring herself to turn around and look at him.  Before she knew it he ran in front of her to cut off her path.

“Calm down,” Philip said, grabbing Cameron’s shoulders in an attempt to make her look at him face to face but she refused, her eyes darting everywhere but his face.  “I’m sorry.  I have noticed how disconcerting me hanging out with Erin has been for you but you’ve been really cold to me lately and I just wanted to have a nice night alone with you but you brought up all the Erin stuff and I got a little cranky about it.”

“No need to apologize Philip,” Cameron said softly, still not looking at him.  “I’m sorry I’m a hypocrite who judges everyone.  It’s how I’m wired, I suppose.  And I’m really sorry you feel that way about me.  I’m also sorry to tell you that you don’t have to worry about me being a hypocrite anymore because we’re done.  I’ve been in agony,” her voice broke suddenly and a single tear swept across her cheek, which she vigorously rubbed away with the back of her hand.  She composed herself before continuing.  “Pure agony because I’ve been lying to my parents and to myself about what we’ve been doing, knowing it’s not right.  But I thought I could somehow make it right because I was in love with you but I now see the truth.  It’s crystal clear that you don’t feel the same way about me and that’s fine.  That’s fine Philip.  I can live with that but I can’t keep doing what’s wrong with you, desperately trying to make it right in my head and in my heart.”  She stood on the tips of her toes and kissed Philip on the cheek.  “I’ll see you around.”

Then she walked off, her arms wrapped tightly around her waist, as she removed herself from Philip and their current situation.

Philip – Summer 2011 (Dinner Party)

The guest gathered into the formal dining room, searching for place cards with their names scribed across in a feminine scripted font.  Philip found his quickly, noticing he’d been placed in between Max and Erin.  He took his seat and planted himself down, just as Cameron sat down across from him.  Was Nina trying to torture him? Maybe it was part of some grand scheme to aid in the reconciliation of his and Cameron’s relationship.  His heart began to beat fast at the sight of her.  She looked exceptional tonight, her brown skin complimented by the coral colored halter baby doll dress she donned.  He tried to divert his attention elsewhere but his gaze would not remove from Cameron.  It was like a permanent fixation, he wanted desperately to detach but he feared the only way that would happen would be to remove himself from the situation altogether.  So he’d suffer the evening out, pining over the one that got away. 

Cameron’s stare affixed on him and for a moment Philip thought his heart stopped.  The look in her eyes was that of embarrassment and shame.  But why? Why was he causing her such internal grief and turmoil? It seemed the very sight of him sent Cameron somewhere she did not want to go. 

Philip felt a soft hand clasp his shoulder, as Erin passed behind his chair to her own seat.  She smiled at him briefly before he turned his attention back to Cameron who had fastened her eyes towards the head of the table where Greg and Nina stood.

Greg had a glass of wine in his hand and gently tapped it with a butter knife to get everyone’s attention.

“Thank you everyone for coming to dinner tonight,” Greg began his introduction speech, placing his glass of wine on the table and wrapping his other arm around Nina’s waist.  “As you all know, you all are very near and dear to Nina and I and we are honored that you took time out of your busy lives to share this very special occasion with us.”

“Greg and I,” Nina began, “Have been best friends for what feels like an eternity and it only felt natural for us to evolve into something more.  He, like many of you, have been there for me when times were hopeless and I felt all alone and even when I didn’t want him to be there.”  Nina laughed, rubbing the back of Greg’s neck.  “And by him being there, it proved to me that he loved me even when I didn’t love myself and showed me how to love myself again.  A love that I’d always had for him but suppressed because of our friendship.”

“We appreciate and love you all and thank you with much gratitude for sharing this very special moment with us,” Greg concluded, picking up and raising his glass of wine. 

“To tha bri-an-grooom,” Mimi replied happily, lifting her glass high in the air.

“Cheers,” the room resounded with joyful acknowledgements of the celebratory moment as everyone took sips from their glasses.

They all began to eat, family style, passing bowls of side dishes and freshly baked bread to accompany their main course.  Philip’s hand brushed Cameron’s as she reached for the potato dish Mrs. Sohn prepared for the occasion.

“I’m sorry,” he said drawing his hand back quickly, allowing her to get her serving first.  She withdrew at the same time and her hand immediately cupped the base of her throat, her fingers applying pressure like the day she ran into him at his parent’s house.

“Don’t worry about it,” she replied staring at him like a doe caught in headlights.

In that moment Philip just could no longer take it anymore.  He picked up the fine linen napkin that laid on his lap and placed it next to his dinner plate before coming to his feet.  Making his way around the table he approached Cameron’s chair and stood there, his hand firmly gripping the back of her chair.  But her eyes did not remove themselves from the plate of food in front of her.  She just sat still as if she hadn’t noticed he was there, hovering over her.  Everyone’s attention was glued to the two of them, like a soap opera was about to unfold. 

Philip leaned towards her finally and spoke after a very long and awkward moment of silence.  “We need to talk.”

Her eyes gradually made their way from the plate of food to his face, as she bit down on her bottom lip.  He placed both hands on the back of her chair, to aid her in pulling it away from the table.

“Excuse us,” he replied as he escorted her to the guest bedroom around the corner from the formal dining room.

Cameron – Summer 2011 (Dinner Party)

Cameron felt chills run down her spine and her skin broke out in goose bumps when Philip’s hand braced her lower back during his escort to the bedroom.  So many things running through her mind.  So many things she wanted to ask and clarify... confess.  As soon as they were securely behind a closed door, Philip moved in closer and took Cameron’s face into his hands, drawing her into him with the sweetest lips she’d tasted in a long time, her own hands covering his as the kiss lingered on much longer than it probably should have.  He removed his lips from hers and drew back staring at her while rubbing the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry,” he uttered, continuing to rub his neck vigorously.  He was quite apologetic tonight.

“Don’t be,” she replied breathily, her chest heaving as if she was searching for air.

“I’ve been dying to do that since I saw you at the airport and after I attacked you in the shed yesterday,” he snickered. 

He made his way towards the bed and plopped down, taking a hold of Cameron’s hand as he did so.  She didn’t know what to say or do but she didn’t resist him.  Not like she had been.  Tonight she’d let down her guard.  It was time to get to the root of their problems.  She let go of his hand and walked around to the other side of the bed and laid down, facing his back.  He glanced over his shoulder at her as she positioned herself on her side.

“Like old times,” she whispered patting the cold empty space in front of her.

He stared at her with a slight smile on his face and obliged, stretching out on his side, staring into her dark brown eyes.  She turned over onto her back and reached out, grabbing his hand in hers.  Now was the time to clear the air.

“What happened to us,” he spoke breaking the deadening calm in the room.  “I mean, I know we got into that big fight after prom but I just don’t get what happened after that.  I tri- I tried to reach you after that but you wouldn’t take any of my phone calls and I came back home after I’d been in Boston a week and you were gone.”

He brushed her bangs out of her eyes and leaned down and kissed her nose, then her mouth once more.  “What happened Cam?”

A tear streamed down her cheek and Philip wiped it away with his thumb, cupping Cameron’s head in his hand.  He kissed her tear stained cheek and began to caress her face with the back of his hand.  “Just tell me what I need to do to make it right,” he whispered before kissing her mouth once more.

“It wasn’t you... it was me.  It was always me,” she sighed heavily, her eyes filling to the brim with more tears.  Philip wiped each one away as they individually spilled over onto her cheeks.  It was time to admit that she was scared of losing him.  That she thought if she got out early, she wouldn’t be as heartbroken about him moving on... moving on without her, so she took herself out of the equation.  “I knew I was wrong that night when I turned and walked away but pride got in the way.  Trying to be a righteous and good person resulted in me being judgmental and ugly to people.  I always felt guilty and convicted most of the time but again, pride reared its vicious head.  I thought I was over it... feeling this way but coming back and seeing you, all these emotions I’d suppressed erupted.  I feel like such a child but the first step to recovery is acceptance, right?”  A snicker escaped from her mouth as she stared up at the ceiling for a long moment, collecting her thoughts once more.

“I tried to come by that Sunday after graduation to see you and I was late because I stayed late at church helping my mom with the kid’s ministry.  Anyway, I spoke with my mom about us and she encouraged me to talk to you.  So I hauled butt across town and you weren’t there... and I ran into Erin.”

Cameron took in a deep breath and her lips began to tremble.

“Keep going,” Philip encouraged, trying to calm her trembling lips down with the touch of his hands.

She placed her own hand over his, searching for words, praying they would just come.

“I ran into Erin and she told me you had left.  And you left without saying goodbye to me.  I was crushed and then to add fuel to the flames, she also told me that you had invited her to go with you to Boston.  She said that Tracey was looking forward to meeting with her.”

“What,” Philip said shocked.  “I never invited her to Boston.”

“Well, there was a ticket and she showed it to me.  A Delta Airlines ticket to Boston one way.  It left that following Tuesday morning at 8:35.”

“You didn’t get my letter,” Philip whispered, falling onto his back.

“What,” Cameron asked, not sure she heard him correctly.

He turned to face her rubbing the top of his head.  “You didn’t get my letter.”

“What letter,” Cameron inquired, her eyes searching his for an explanation.

“It’s my fault,” Philip replied finally.  “Erin stopped by early that morning to tell me she had all the adoption stuff settled.  She ran into me when I was dropping off the letter with the ticket in your mailbox.  I knew ya’ll were at church but I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye so I wrote you a letter and my mom, Nadine, purchased a ticket for you to come and stay a while with me and Tracey that summer.”  He sighed and looked Cameron in the eyes.  “Erin must have taken the letter.  That’s why you didn’t know about it.  That’s why you didn’t call me or come to Boston and that’s why things are the way they are between us now.”

Philip sighed heavily and rolled over onto his back.  He clasped his hand with Cameron’s and rested his free hand on his forehead.  “Looks like we got some catchin’ up to do Cam.”

“Looks like we do,” she replied, swallowing hard, taking in this new found information.