Prologue

He drove into me like it was his last resolve. I gripped the sheets beneath me for dear life, wondering what on earth had happened to my life and how I got to this point.

The way I was breathing was foreign to me. The sounds I was making sounded foreign to me. The way I was feeling felt foreign to me. The way I was moving was foreign to me.

This was all other worldly.

"Henry…" I panted, feeling another orgasm about to ambush me. I couldn't take it. I'd had three already from him going down on me. My body couldn't handle another moment of pleasure. I never knew it possible to run away from a feeling because it was so good, yet here I was.

"N-No more…too good…" I panted. I pushed him at his firm stomach, weakly trying to get him to stop, but that only encouraged him more.

He grabbed my wrists and pinned them up above my head.

His lips crashed into mine as he thrust hard into me. My scream was muffled by his growling mouth and my thighs reflexively lifted, giving him more access while he slammed into me.

I gave in and when he felt my submission, the hard kiss turned soft and his fingers intertwined with mine still above my head. He started to grind slowly into me, letting go of my hands and planting them on my hips. I was rendered breathless.

I'm not sure where I found the willpower to grab his face and return his kiss.

When I kissed him back, he started thrusting into me harder and harder, rubbing against my spot over and over again until I couldn't take it anymore. The orgasm shook me mercilessly and I lost all control. I screamed out in surprise at the orgasm, one so strong tears trailed down my temples. My body tensed up my fingers clawed into his sweaty back as I came undone for the next few seconds.

He too came, soundlessly. His fingers dug harder into my hips as he expended his release, the condom that had been hurriedly worn barricading him from coming inside me.

We were left panting loudly against each other, trying to catch our breaths. I lay there with him embedded within me, finally coming down to reality. As I did, I began to panic, wondering what on earth I was doing with my life. What was this?

As I groveled over actions I deemed shameful, I soon felt him smiling against my skin as he nipped at my collarbone.

There he went, dragging me back to that dream world where everything was amazing. Where everything made sense even when it wasn't supposed to.

I began mentally seesawing between reality and a dream, but forced myself to stay focused on reality. My reality normally meant being alone. It meant rejection and being ignored.

When I was around this man, it all didn't seem real because it was too good to be true. I'd tried fighting it for so long but every time I met with him, I fell harder and harder for him and this new reality. Only I knew such realities were not...permanent.

i had to get out of this false sense of hope I got when I was around him. I had to get out before I got completely lost.

Chapter 1

I was laughing and dancing with my cousin Ella as she danced with her boyfriend, Peter, behind her. Ella was the 'adorable one' . She had a short, spiky, pixie haircut, large almond eyes, a small nose and full lips. Her brown skin was smooth and almost always damn near perfect. The lucky broad didn't even need to wear much make up most of the time. Even a 'rolled out of bed' trip to the store never stopped men from stampeding towards her. Her body was a knock out, which she worked hard for, but she'd never really had to fight against her own body to get the 'ideal' look. She was pretty girl and I always felt like she was way out of Peter's league, but I guess that made me a real bad person. By out of her league, I wasn't talking physical appearance. He was a good looking guy, a few shades lighter than Ella, strong jaw, masculine build, and tall.

They actually looked good together, it was just his personality that I couldn't stand. I guess I was truly just biased againt him cause I'd never really liked the guy, and he'd never really liked me.

We just tolerated each other for her sake. He had no choice but to pretend that he liked me because I was family. Plus Ella and I had become extremely close ever since I'd moved.

We were all grooving when suddenly someone roughly pulled me by my hips and started grinding on me hard. My entire body froze. My face dropped and Ella burst out laughing.

I sighed and hoped that my unmoving body would discourage the person behind me, but they kept going. They even had me stumbling forward on the vibrating dance floor because they were grinding so hard.

"Valerie! C'mon!!!" Ella said loudly in my face, combating the penetrating bass in the club just to be heard.

I shook my head and with a heavy sigh, yanked the stranger's hands from my hips and stepped aside. I turned to catch a tall handsome guy walking away from me with a peeved expression. I was shocked that a guy as gorgeous as he would dance with me, and was immediately annoyed with that thought. Low self-esteem was a mother.

Yes, I was one of the many low self-esteemers in the world--sue me.

"You are horrible," Ella said and I shrugged and continued to dance merrily on my own.

It was a typical Saturday night for Ella and I. We both worked hard and always took Fridays or Saturdays to let off some steam. We always had fun, but ever since she started dating Peter, things were changing.

The proof was right in my face when he looked at me exasperatedly. At least he didn't always pretend to like me.

"Why don't you go find some guy to dance with, Val?"

"Peter!" Ella swatted the arm that was wrapped around her waist.

His shoulders hiked blamelessly, "What? I'm just sayi--"

"Peter? Is that you?"

We all turned to the thick British accent yelling over the music. A tall, curly haired guy came into view, his hand clamped over Peter's shoulder.

"HENRY!!!" Peter beamed as he gave the guy a handshake and a hug. "HOLY SHIT!!!"

The two young men laughed as they pulled back, eying each other in disbelief.

"IS THIS REALLY YOU?! IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING???" the British guy asked happily.

"Where the fuck have you been, dude?!" Peter exclaimed, giving him another hug.

As the two enthusiastically greeted each other, I started to go look for a place to sit when Ella pulled me back.

"Where do you think are you going?!"

"Well it's obvious that I'm bothering you two so I'm going to find a--"

"Shush! Don't listen to him."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh okay. I'll just keep on being the third whee--"

"Oh, and this is my girlfriend, Ella," Peter introduced her as he rounded her up to him with his arm over her shoulder. As much as I disliked him, he worshipped the ground Ella walked on. He was so proud. It must have been nice to have a guy show you off to the world with so much pride.

No matter how many times I saw a guy introducing his girl, I always felt a bit of envy. It never got old even at 26 years of age.
 
"Ella." Henry smiled as he held out his hand for her, then nodded with appreciation to Peter. "Nice job, mate."

"You know how I've always done," Peter said arrogantly, his arm slung over Henry's shoulder. He was now sandwiched between the two and the three of them were one little happy group while I stood off to the side like an afterthought. Story of my life.

"Henry?" Ella smiled prettily at him, shaking his hand. "You're British?"

"I suppose." He nodded with a boyish smile as he pocketed his hands, the movement causing the silver chain around his neck with a dog tag to swing. I took in the rest of him. He wore a dark blue blazer over a loose, white t-shirt with a low v-neckline that showcased his chest. He also had on black jeans and black suede boots.

He was a nice dresser, I admitted to myself as I raised my eyes back up his tall frame up to his chest again. He was slightly hunching forward as he laughed and I spotted two wing tattoos on either side of his sternum. They looked nice. I lifted my eyes. He had a nice, long, masculine neck too.

Oh well, I told myself as my knees began to feel weak.

Oh fucking well.

"I love your accent!" Ella practically squealed and I nearly rolled my eyes though I couldn't help but smile. His accent was interesting.

"Thank you! I like yours too."

They talked a bit more but I wasn't really involved. I busied myself scanning the crowd.

"I think your glasses are fucking cool," I heard in the distance, but didn't think anyone was talking to me as usual.

I surveyed the crowd, looking for a spot to sit at when a loud voice spoke in my ear.

"And you are?"

I jumped, wincing and touching my ear as I turned back around and caught a whiff of a musky, yet subtle cologne. The scent electrified me and spiked my senses. Oh god, I hoped I wasn't gravitating towards yet another guy who wouldn't even get with me if I was the last woman on earth.

"I'm sorry was that too loud?!" He apologized while placing his hand on the middle of my back and I got chills. What the hell? Chills?! Already??

"No you're fine," I said as I readjusted my glasses on my face. "I'm Val."

He put his hand out and I placed mine in his and stared at our hands. He had huge hands. He surprised me when he gently pulled me forward, bending so that he could speak into my ear.

"I was just saying that I liked your glasses. I don't think you heard me."

He stepped back and as I looked at his face, I felt a strange shiver go through me. His green eyes were extremely engaging with a certain light to them that made me a bit uneasy. I mean, they weren't harmful or anything, but they did appear to be a bit on the scheming side. But how when his smile was so innocent? Maybe he was just too friendly? He looked really happy to meet me as if I was as good an old friend as Peter.

Okay, I was completely overthinking this, but thats what i did around guys who made me feel...funny.

"Oh thank you! Nice to meet you!" I called out, somehow hoping that would signal to him that we were still shaking hands.

"Nice to meet you too," He said, finally letting go of my hand. I glanced at his faintly smiling lips. He had nice lips and a dimple just to make matters worse. Yes, worse, because I happened to like dimples and there was no sense liking them on someone who'd never really like me back.

Oh freaking well.

Long story short, I was one of the many women who never got the guy she was attracted to. I already knew I was already attracted to this guy.

He had a certain aura about him, a niceness that I often gravitated to (unlike most young women, nice guys were my thing, not the 'bad boys' we were often so stereotyped to like).

But then I'd learned the very hard way that nice guys like him were the worst. At least with bad boys, you knew you were getting a jackass from the get go. At least they didn't pretend to be something they weren't.

Nice guys were sneaky. i wasn't trying to generalize though. Just being cautious.

There I went again making rush judgements about someone I'd just met. I mentally slowed my roll. And anyway, I'd just met him for crying out loud. He probably had a girlfriend somewhere in the vicinity. No one with a smile like that walked around what I liked to call 'regularly single'. That was my department.

"Well guys, I'm gonna go get a drink. Have fun!" I gave them a small wave and was about to turn and leave when this Henry guy stopped me by gently grasping my hand. He immediately let go once he had my full attention.  

"Oh please, don't. My treat," He said, taking a step ahead of me.

When I looked at him inquiringly, he went on. 

"I'll get drinks for everyone," He insisted.

I was stumped and looked at this guy like he was crazy, even though he wasn't doing anything abnormal other than being polite. As he awaited my answer, he actually quickly looked down my frame and I felt like a spotlight had been placed on me. What the hell? He wasn't checking me out, was he? I hoped not. I suddenly became self-conscious and realized how hip hugging my dress was.My next urge was to cross my arms over my body like I was naked on a Saturday morning at a park. I mean, I thought I looked alright before his eyes fell on me, now I suddenly felt dissected. I was so used to being overlooked standing next to Ella that when I was actually looked at it felt like an earthquake was happening. I was obviously the queen of dramatics.

"I'll have a Long Island!" Ella jumped in, even though he was looking directly at me. He turned towards them, giving me his profile. Ah, he had the strong, angular jaw too.

Fuck my life.

"Okay, Long Island," he said, pointing and Ella, then pointed at Peter. "What about you, sir?" 

"Surprise me, bro!"

Henry grinned sneakily then cocked his head. "Are you sure about that?"

I stared at his dimples once again. I gnawed at the corner of my lip in silent frustration. The drink I had earlier was probably getting to me, although I knew that was a damn lie.

I couldn't remember the last time a set of dimples had me feeling…things. I hoped his girlfriend showed up quick to discourage my thoughts and 'things' feelings.

"Positive," Peter asserted and Henry turned to me. A shiver went through me. Ugh!

"And you me lady?"

"Uh, a…Liquid Marijuana, I guess."

His smile broadened as he stood straighter and he lifted his brows. "Liquid Marijuana, huh?" He nodded with approval. "I'm impressed. Good choice." He turned to the others. "I'll be right back."

I sighed, realizing I had to stay and wait with Ella and Peter. I was tired of hearing Peter's mouth about how I was basically cutting into their 'couple' time. I was just about to excuse myself to the restroom when Henry cut into my thoughts.

"Care to help me get the drinks, Val?" He asked as he stood next to me, his arm rubbing against mine as he pocketed his hands and rocked on the balls of his heels in playful, boyish charm, like he was asking for the biggest favor n the world. Even I couldn't resist his charm this time and had to smile.

Were butterflies really supposed to happen this early into meeting a guy? 

"Sure," I said.

"Yes!!" He yanked a fist to his body excitedly, like something truly amazing had just happened. I won't lie--it had me feeling really good and wanted, which hadn't happened for me in the courting department lately.

Still, I was reluctant as I followed along when he started for the bar. I supposed I could help him since he was buying the drinks.

It was exceedingly packed that night and a miracle that Henry and I were able to weave through the crowd. He had more finesse finding a path to walk through than I did. I kept getting knocked and bumped into on my way there, up until a woman with a very sharp heel practically stabbed my toe.

"OW!!" I yelped, stopping in the bustling crowd while my attacker continued to drunkenly dance the night away.

"Are you alright?" I heard with a hand weaving around the small of my back.

"Yeah," I said with a wince, rubbing my toes through my shoes as best as I could.

"Come on. Hold my hand. Don't want to lose you this time."

Without asking he took my hand into his and cautiously guided me through the crowd. I was staring at the curls on the back of his head wondering where this guy came from. Once again I tried to remind myself that as rare as gentlemen were in this day and age, they were out there. This in no shape or form meant he was attracted to me because my life simply didn't work like that.

I repeated that mantra in my head until we got to the bar. He let go of my hand but stood behind me like he was guarding me from everyone else, lest I get 'attacked' again by sharp-heeled drunkards.

"Does your foot feel okay?" he asked from behind me, so close I could feel his body heat against my back.

"It's fine thank you," I said, feeling extremely shy. My entire body was buzzing, and though I wanted to blame my earlier drink, I couldn't truly because I hadn't had one in two hours.

He was making me buzz.

The last time someone made me buzz, I experienced a pain so deep I changed.

Fuck. Self-esteem [i]and[/i] baggage issues. I was so original, wasn't I?

He managed to beckon the bartender over among the ruckus and ordered our drinks and for himself some water. Every movement he made, I felt against my back and..he felt so good. It was getting hard to keep my sanity and I couldn't understand why because he hadn't really done anything. How could he make me lose it so easily? Who the hell was this guy?

The rambunctious crowd continued to act up and someone bumped into Henry, who bumped into me and I slammed the lady standing next to me.

While I was profusely apologizing to the lady who rolled her eyes and continued talking to some guy, Henry immediately circled a protective arm around my midriff and held me firmly against him since he'd already regained his balance.

"You alright?!" he called out, his lips so close they brushed against my ear.

I nodded as shivers went through me. 

"It's pretty crazy in here tonight, I wonder why?" He said into my ear and my arms and legs felt like jelly. What the hell.

"It's graduation weekend for USF," I responded and he had to lean in again for me to repeat. His scent nearly made me melt against him and with his jawline this close to me I had an urge to touch it but thank god I still had my willpower.

These were just the reactions of a woman that hadn't had male contact in a pretty long while. I had to woman up and get it together.

After I repeated myself he nodded and thankfully let go of my midriff when he was certain the bar crowd was no longer too bad.

Still feeling a bit too close, a bit too comfortable with him shielding me this way with his entire body,  I stepped away so I was looking directly at him as we waited for our drinks.

I smiled politely but uncomfortably at him and he smiled back.

"So what is it that you do, Val?" he asked as we waited for the drinks, leaning with his elbow against the bar top.

"It's Valerie," I corrected him a bit more militantly than intended.

His seemed taken aback, and his handsome smile wavered a bit. "Oh. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to overstep my boundaries, Valerie."

I felt like a fool. "No. I'm sorry I didn't mea--"

"There you go. Thirty dollars even," the bartender interrupted, bringing all our drinks, and I was glad that the awkward moment was over. I took the first drink without really thinking which was which as Henry paid for them with cash and picked up two cups.

"Watch my drink while I take these to Peter and Ella," he told me and I nodded, now feeling uptight for being uptight, and sipped on my drink. One sip and I already felt the alcohol swimming through my body.

I was just taking my second sip when Henry's voice said in my ear,

"It looks like I'm going to have to work hard on breaking down that guard you have up."

I stared at my drink wide-eyed and by the time I turned around he'd been swallowed by the crowd, having left me with a racing heart.

And butterflies.

Why did I have this pressing feeling that my life was about to change?

Chapter 3

"Sorry it took so long," I heard as a warm hand snaked around my waist. Even though the drink was quickly making its way to my head, I was still conscious enough to be self-conscious. I moved away quickly while taking a huge gulp of my drink. I didn't like being touched on my waist. The touch brought forth a panic that made me want to hide in the shadows. 

He didn't seem to notice and I was glad, but my own behavior began to really frustrate me and I drank more and more. We both stood there bobbing our heads lightly to the music and watching the crowd. Curiosity forced me to take a brief look at him as he took a sip of his water and I admired his jaw line. Again.

He was really, really not bad looking. Not necessarily my type, but not bad looking at all. I did have a feeling that he could become anyone's type. He was just one of 'those people' who gave you a certain feeling.

"You're not drinking?" I blurted out, knowing that the drink was starting to flourish in my system if I was so confidently making conversation.

He didn't hear me. The chatter at the bar was as loud as the music around the club. He tipped his head forward, which made his sexy cologne wrap around me and the pendant of his chain fall in front of him.

It must have been the cologne that possessed me because I boldly reached for the pendant and tried to read it in the constantly changing lighting of the club.

"Samantha," I heard him say above me and tilted my head back to find him with that small, amused smile. Those lips. My toes curled.

"Huh?"

"My mother's name"

Gasping, I let go of the pendant like it was hot. His smile enlarged as he stood straight.

"What? My mother's not allergic," he said in a playful, offended attitude. I could already see he had a good sense of humor and it made me smile no matter how hard I tried to fight it.

"It was my reflex because I had dirty thoughts."

And there went the unfiltered mouth that alcohol always opened.  I put my hand over my gaping mouth while his eyes widened as did his smile.

"Care to share?" he asked as he inched closer and I put a hand on his chest, laughing and moving back as far as the dense bar would allow.

"No." I shook my head emphatically. "Never. Ignore me please."

"It's kind of impossible after you say something like that."

When I made a suspicious face, he laughed and finally answered my earlier question."I don't drink much.

"But you let your friends drink," I quipped before taking a sip, making him smirk while nodding, sending a sinful tickle through my body.

"Someone has to be the voice of reason."

We shared a smile that made me look down at my drink. Oh hell. He was making me blush. That alone made me begin to feel panic deep within, but I sipped more on my alcohol to keep the feeling from taking over me.

"So you never drink when you go out?" I asked, a bit dizzy now.

"You don't have to drink to have fun."

I only lifted my eyebrows, turning away from him to have more of my drink, making him laugh.

"So what do you do, Val?" He paused and smiled. "Erie."

I smiled guiltily behind my glass. "I'm a software developer."

He nodded and couldn't hide the surprise on his face. "Sounds really smart."

I shrugged. "Not really. You?"

"Music producer."

I couldn't hide my surprise either. I thought he would be into information technology like many in this area.

"Really? That's really cool. So are you here on vacation or…"

"Oh I had some business in LA and figured, I'll come by and see my childhood friends."

I nodded, fascinated by all this for some reason. He'd gotten a bit serious and ensnared me with his eyes.

"I stayed with my father over some summers. He moved here with his wife, I made quite a few lifelong friends that never left. I always promised that I'd come back to visit. So," he held out his hands. "Here I am."

"A man of his words huh?" I smiled behind my cup.

"Definitely."

"Hey guys!" Ella found us in the nick of time, a moment I was sure would turn awkward. There was a certain way he was looking at me that made me want to hide. Peter wasn't too far behind her.

"Hey! Look who I found!!" Peter yelled to Henry as he pulled two young women along with him. The two brunettes shrieked with excitement and Henry's face lit up with a beaming smile.

"HENRY!!" The ladies damn near screeched in excitement as they ambushed Henry.

"Jasmine!!! Alexis!!!" He opened his arms to them and hugged them both. I knew them from highschool but I doubted they remembered me. That happened a lot. Ah well.

The shorter girl introduced her other friends and in a matter of seconds, they were all swooning at his accent. They circled around him, cutting me out of the group. They all resembled women who'd stereotypically be his type. He engaged them just as charmingly as he'd engaged me and I was brought back to reality that I wasn't special or breathtaking enough to catch a guy's attention. I would probably always fall into the backdrop.

I looked over at Ella whose arms were wrapped around Peter as he gazed lovingly down at her and they conversed.

The burning feeling of neglect I'd felt since I was a child began to creep up and I slipped away unnoticed.

While I walked round finishing my drink, I thought of how much I liked this atmosphere of being around high-energy people, but I was honestly growing tired of it. It was more fun when you knew more people and I was still a bit new to the place. I wondered what this experience would be like with a proud boyfriend, or just someone you absolutely knew liked you. I smiled wistfully, then began to frown at the reality that I was alone.

'You will be forever alone and no one will probably ever want you', a demon inside me seemed to say.

I stopped by the bathroom where there was a long line. While in there, I avoided the mirror as much as possible and tried not to compare myself to all the other women that filed in. This 'comparing myself to others' was a habit I'd picked up since very little and while there were good days where I didn't do it as much, today was not turning out to be a good day.

After I used the bathroom and was washing my hands, I made it a chore not to look at the mirror. I even reapplied my makeup without looking until I made the mistake and looked.

I was 5'5, with very light, faintly freckled skin especially around my button nose and high cheekbones. I had dark, shoulder length curly hair with eyes just as dark. I was what most would call average weight, even though I begged to differ. While I had a flat tummy I knew it could use more work to be even better. My arms were 'average' but I felt could be more toned. I hated my not too wide or narrow hips and I despised my legs too.

I knew looking at the mirror was a bad idea and left the bathroom, contemplating leaving the club but remembering that I didn't have a ride. Not wanting to chance running into Ella and crew, I went to the other bar at the opposite end of the building and ordered a Liquid Marijuana to drown out the sudden heavy feeling of insecurity that began to cloud over me.

When I tasted my drink I realized it was much different than the one Henry ordered and wondered for a second if he'd spiked my drink but knew it impossible cause I'd watched him from the time he ordered it to the time I sipped it.

I walked around and when the alcohol began to make me sway, sat down in one of the white lounge sofas they had on an elevated floor, up against the club's walls.

I was glad to find that no one occupied the sofa I had my eye on.. Most people were getting down to a song that was very popular at the time. The dj told the crowd to give it up to RH who was apparently in the club, and the crowd went wild, especially in the middle of the dance floor.

I nursed my drink for a few minutes when someone slid up beside me in the booth.

"How are you doing?"

With alcohol in my system, I was friendlier than normal and smiled. "Fine and you?"

He was much older than I was, but a little friendly conversation wouldn't hurt, right?

"Been watching you for a minute, looking good."

My smile wavered, but I tried to keep it on my face and laughed uncomfortably.

"Seriously." He aligned his arm with the back of the couch behind me and scooted closer. He brushed my hair from my face and tried to speak close to my ear even as I jerked away from him, surprised at his nerve to put his hands on me without permission. "What are you getting into after the club?"

I rolled my eyes, putting more space between us as I looked away.

"Nothing."

" Let me take you home and show you how to feel good."

I slapped his hand away from my knee as I stood up, grabbing my purse off of the table and leaving my drink unfinished.

"You got some nice meat I can grab onto, not like these other stick figure bitches you know?" he tried to pull me back down, "Come on."

"Let go of me!"

He reached or me again. "Come on girl--"

"Leave me the fuck alone," I gritted and evaded his grasp, hearing his laughter as I fled his presence. I tripped down one step as I hastily walked away but didn't let that deter me. Did I even have a right to be pissed? What the hell was I expecting anyway? I was at a club for crying out loud. Gentlemen didn't reside in those kinds of places.

I decided I was just going to hail a cab, wondering why I hadn't thought of that in the first place. I didn't have to ride with Ella.

I stepped out and was immediately encased by the ocean air of the city that lined the beach. Tilden was a very chill place, even on busy nights. I admired the chatter of the pedestrians walking nearby, the lights from different establishments sandwiching the traffic-filled roads. It was a pretty city west of San Francisco.

Tonight was a balmy summer night with a nice breeze, the kind of night that made a person want to create memories with that special someone.

Yep, I was an unfortunate 'hopeless', although I didn't really like using the word romantic to describe myself.

I walked slowly and leisurely as the alcohol began to wear off. I wasn't too far from the club when I received a text and retrieved my cell phone from my purse.

Ella: where are you?

Valerie: Outside

Ella: wtf?!?! Why??

I didn't bother responding and decided I'd look for cab numbers with my phone wifi.

"Val! Val??!"

I sighed when, a few minutes later, I heard Ella calling me, my name echoing throughout the street.

She caught up with me fast, holding on to my arm as she caught her breath.

"Don’t you ever make me run in heels again!" she warned and I said nothing, continuing to wait for my phone to connect. The service was pretty wacky so it was being slow.

"You can't just walk around these streets by yourself! Especially with that short dress."

"Don't worry. No one is going to talk to me."

Ella rolled her eyes and groaned in irritation. "Don't you start now. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. Are you?"

"Yep. When we decided to leave we realized you weren't there." She shifted her guilty eyes away and I just shrugged with a blameless smile.

"It's cool." We started to walk towards the parking lot. "We're going home right?"

The look Ella gave me made my shoulders sag. "Please tell me we're going home. Just drop me off before going wherever you guys are going."

"Fine," she mumbled.

We'd met Peter here, so I was thankful he was riding in his own car. I couldn't take more of his underhanded comments about me disrupting their nice little time together.

"So what did you think of Henry?" Ella asked as we exited the three story parking garage.

"He was okay."

I felt her exasperated gaze as I looked out ahead of me.

"Okay? Come on! He was cute. Don’t deny it."

I sighed. "Yes, he was cute." I smiled sweetly at her. "The end."

"Not the end. You saw how quickly he stole you away from Peter and I?"

"Right." I lay my heavy head against the headrest and closed my eyes. "To get me away from his precious friend and his girlfriend. I was clearly a distraction."

"Uh oh. Is Negative Nancy coming out to play?"

I ignored Ella's jab and kept my eyes closed. The alcohol no longer had me swimming in bliss but had me feeling sleepy. She turned up the music just a little bit as if to stealthily try to keep me awake. I kept my eyes closed to aggravate her.

A few minutes later I opened my eyes and quickly recognized my surroundings, then shot my eyes to Ella. I caught her in the act peering anxiously while biting her nails at me and when she saw that I was awake, she reacted like a kid with her hand in the cooking jar.

"This isn't the way home," I said monotonously, trying not to lose my temper.

"I know--"

"Oh god Ella! I'm tired!" I threw my hands up in exhaustion.

"We're just stopping by Sea Burgers for some burgers and that's it. After that we're leaving."

"I'll just wait in the car," I mumbled.

"You know what? I'm about to stop going anywhere with you. You always turn situations into just…ugh."

The car became quiet and Ella turned the volume back up. As we drove without speaking to each other I thought of all the other times I'd ruined her fun because of my tantrums. I never used to see or understand why she or others would get frustrated with me, but I'd come along way and could finally see other people's sides in respect to my behavior.

I turned the music down.

"I'm sorry I know I'm being a party pooper, negative nancy, childish, immature person right now Ella, but I looked in the mirror and had a nervous breakdown."

She frowned and looked at me briefly. "But I thought you were getting better."

"I was. I am. I don’t know I guess today I just felt odd." I tinkered with my phone before grudgingly admitting. "And I've been thinking about my life and all that crap lately."

Ella gasped. "Cause your birthday's coming back!" she reached out for my hand. "Oh sweety, I should have known. I'm sorry."

I squeezed her hand.

"It's okay. It's not your fault. It's my fault for being a big baby." I was embarrassed by my behavior. Looking at the mirror sometimes made me behave irrationally and got me antsy, but I couldn't pretend that I hadn't been feeling antsy the entire night especially after the way Peter tried to shoo me away.

I needed to stop dragging people down with me whenever I was in a bad mood. I squeezed her hand again and made her look at me briefly again. She was shocked by my encouraging smile.

"You know what? Let's go to Sea Burger. We're gonna have a good time."

Ella sent me a appreciative smile and I stuck my tongue out at her like I always did when she was about to get sentimental.

We talked about a number of subjects before falling on men once again.

"Peter looks just about ready to take you home," I told her and she tried hard not to smile.

"You guys are disgusting," I wrinkled my nose distastefully.

"Oh you just wait. When your prince comes--"

I gagged and she laughed.

"Stop it. Your man will be your prince. You are so fucking jaded its ridiculous," she said.

"No. words like Prince in this day and age are just whack. I don't need a prince Ella. And I've already concluded that whatever guy wants to be with me will be someone who I wont be attracted to. It's always like that. I know, I know, it's juvenille and shallow, but for once I just want someone who I'm…ugh…wait no I don't cause we all know what happened last time…"

I sighed heavily, looking out the window. "You know it's time for me to stop this pity party and get with the program. I don't need--"

"Okay maybe Henry is not your type but he kept asking where you were even though I don’t know why from what he told us, you were kind of being a bitch towards him."

I stared at Ella wide eyed. "He asked about me? Wait, he called me a bitch?"

"No. I did. What's with the 'It's Valerie', when he called you Val?"

I groaned and face-palmed. "No that wasn't my intention. I was just trying to tell him hey just in case you didn't know, my full name is Valerie. You introduced me as Val."

"Well, you should have told him that."

"Well, he came back after he gave you guys your drinks and he was cool."

"He said you look like the type that doesn't want to be bothered."

I shot her a mortified look and she shrugged as she parked the car at Sea Burger's parking lot.

"I think he likes you," she said as we got out of the car and grabbed our purses.

"I think not," I shut her down quickly and closed the door, catching her rolling her eyes. I didn't blame her at all. It wasn't fun having the 'I have no confidence no guys like me' friend in your circle. For a long time I'd been that friend for so long I never realized how annoying it was till I met someone else who was just like me. I tampered down my wails about being unloved with most people but with Ella I didn't because I could be so honest without fearing her reaction.

"It's too late anyways--"

"There you are!" I jumped when I heard Henry's voice and looked up to find him and Peter approaching our car.

"Henry!" I said, startled. His voice was loud and clear and still unique as ever in the quiet parking lot. Now without the distracting sounds of the club, I got the full effect of his voice. It was deep and husky. It damn near shook my soul.

I swear I was about to fall to my knees and pray to god that he didn't have a sexy voice too.

"She successfully tracked you down. I thought you were running away from us."

He was grinning. And the dimples. So my knees decided it would be a good idea to get weak. I guess I was going to fall to my knees either way. Great. Whatever. Who cares, right?

"Oh no I wasn't." I tried to keep it cool and walked up to him.

"Yes you were."He smirked as he fell into step with me while we walked into the small 24 hour restaurant.

"No I wasn't," I insinsted as I looked away. For some reason I didn't want him to see me smiling.

"You were." He blocked my view when he stepped in front of me facing me and started walking backwards. "You've been hightailing from me the entire night."

I looked at him surprised that he called me out so boldly. "No I wa--Okay, maybe."

He smiled big and he had one of the most gorgeous, infectious smiles I'd ever seen. It was a sweet smile.

"Honesty. I like it." he fell back into step with me as we neared the restaurant.

By then we met up with Peter and Ella at the restaurant. We ordered our food and alcohol which the guys offered to pay for and decided to sit outside on one of the benches. Sea Burger was located right by the beach and an extremely popular hangout for all kinds of people. It was especially ravaged by people like us who wanted to grab quality food right after hitting the clubs.

We all sat down to eat our burgers and partook in small talk. Henry and Peter were the ones mainly reminiscing about their younger days and the various visits Henry took to come and visit them through the years.

"Dude, you know when I knew you were a cool guy?" Peter said to him, then looked at Ella and I. "This has to be the most loyal son-of-a-bitch I've ever met."

Henry smiled bashfully as he looked down at the fries he was picking. His dimples were making me cry on the inside. He looked so cute with his dark brown curly hair whipping about his head as he tried to hide his embarrassment over Peter's appraisal of him.

"Everything he said he will do, he does. He's like one of the most thoughtful. Let me tell you something, you remember when my mother had to go through chemo and had just lost her job and had no insurance--"

"Peter, you don't have to mention it--"

"This is the guy who pitched in and helped pay for the majority of it."  

Ella gasped while I looked at him in silent awe.

"You're the guy?!" Ella exclaimed. "He always said some friend of his helped when he was struggling. I think he mentioned your name, oh screw me for not remembering. Oh god, but you guys were so young when this happened. Twenty-two I think? How were you able to help at that age?"

He shrugged and looked like he wanted to hide in his jacket. I found it amusing that a guy who exuded such confidence could be so shy when it came to his good deeds. Most people wore their charitable acts like a badge of honor and here he was trying his darnest not to hide under the table.

"I just helped because I could at the time. I know Peter would do the same so," He shrugged.

"This dude," Peter patted him on his back. "He's one of the realest I've ever met. I owe you one bro."

My surprise was unending. Most friends wouldn't even involve themselves in family business like that, even if they could help.

He was such a nice guy, it seemed. Even now I couldn't let my warped reality of nice guys contaminate the respect I had for him from this little revelation.

I continued to drink more and more, wondering why I was feeling so bothered. And it wasn't all of a sudden. It's ever since I crossed paths with those green eyes earlier that night. His eyes were so hard to read, but they were so engaging.

I took a chance and peeked up at him. His arms were folded and he was looking at me. I felt surprise and mild humiliation for trying to sneak a peek so openly and looked away, pulling at the straw so hard without noticing. 

"There we go McChuggin. Keep chuggin' em. We need you to loosen up."

I looked at him to find him his ruby lips half-smirking while he continuously averting his gaze between my lips and my eyes. Peter and Ella laughed.

"Dude, don't even bother," Peter interjected and as he spoke to him, Henry never once took his eyes off of me. "You wont even get into the first inning with her."

"I like a challenge." He briefly roved from my head to my chest and back up, scorching each place his eyes landed. Ella sqealed and laughed because she knew just how strange I got whenever a guy tried to flirt with me. If it was up to me I'd just evaporate into thin air but I guess that was asking too much from the man upstairs.

I forced a disgusted expression on my face to conceal my blush, making Ella laugh uncontrollably. Henry's smile widened.

"That is one challenge you can't break. You'd be breaking some kind of unmatched record."

"Peter!" Ella gritted admonishingly. I didn't even bother with Peter. I was so used to him scaring guys away from me when I wasn't doing it myself. 

"I believe anything's possible. Don't you, Valerie?"

When he said my name, forgive me but I melted inside. I just felt weak. There was something about the way he said my name, but at the same time I couldn't tell if he was mocking me for making him have to say the whole thing. He enunciated it with great calm like he loved for each word to roll off his tongue.

He was waiting for a response, but I was tongue-tied. My face was burning. Butterflies were all over the place in my gut. I felt like I was up in the clouds. Maybe it was the alcohol.

"Uh…I guess?" I said awkwardly, not liking that all eyes were on me.

"You're a tough cookie," he said as Ella suddenly got up and I was thankful for her distraction cause I didn't know what I was supposed to say to that.

"Well I'm done here," Ella said as she gathered up her messy takeout box and when she reached for mine, I started to get up to.

"No you stay here."

"Aren't we leaving?"

"I need to have a word with Peter."

Peter averted his gaze between Ella and me then his eyes lit up like a lightbulb switched in his head and he too got up.

"Oh yeah. If both of you could excuse us for a minute," he said. 

I knew my eyes were shooting lasers at Ella for being so damned obvious but I didn't want to make Henry feel like I hated him or something. He hadn't really done anything wrong. I just didn't want to be alone around him.

"Here, I'll get that," she took my box and Peter took Henry's.

"Thanks mate," Henry said.

"We'll be right back," Ella said as the two walked to the trashcan and then towards the beach, hand in hand.

"She couldn't be any more fucking obvious," I mumbled dryly. 

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" he asked and I looked at him. I could tell only one ounce of him was truly concerned. He was as cool as a cucumber and the mischief in those predatory eyes said he wasn't the least bit remorseful. He looked like he was really having fun making me squirm.

"No. No, you don't," I said and the straw I was pulling from made a slurping sound that embarrassed me heavily. I expected him to laugh but when I looked up he had that wide amused smile on his face. 

"Interesting. Excuse me," Henry stopped one of the waitresses milling about. "Could you get her another of those Pain Killers. I think she's going to need it."

Without thinking, I added, not wanting to be outdone. "Could you get him one, too?"

He smiled, then nodded in appreciation. "This should be fun."

Normally I wouldn't even get this far into semi-flirting with a guy. I was about to turn it down a notch, but I decided what the heck to stop being so uptight. Maybe that pain killer had something to do with it. So I pulled on my straw again, creating that awful slurp and said, "Bring it on, Henry."

His eyes widened in surprise and he laughed quietly.

I smiled.

I usually didn't just smile.

Something was happening to me. 

Chapter 3

"So Henry, where are your groupies?"

My second Pain Killer drink gave me very little restraint. I was still a bit mindful of what I said, but more open.

He lifted his dark eyebrows in surprise while taking sip from his glass of water. He hadn't touched his Pain Killer drink since it came.

"Groupies?"

" Those girls at the club were all over you."

He smiled knowingly, like he knew I was just a tiny bit jealous, but said nothing of it.

"They were just friends."

"Alexis was not just a friend."

"We're friends," he insisted with calm.

"With bonus points?" I asked surreptitiously as I sipped my drink. I can't believe I was asking him all these questions.

"Bonus points?"

"My version of friends with benefits." It's only after I said the words that I realized I was asking a stranger whether he was into friends and benefits. My manners were flying out the window but right when I was about to apologize, he thankfully answered and was not offended at all by the question.

"She's just a friend."

I narrowed my eyes distrustfully. "It's okay. This is the honesty table isn't it?"

"How do you feel about friends with bonus points?" he asked. 

Normally I'd have been offended that he asked me that and we barely knew each other but I was feeling very free that night, so I shrugged."It's fine but I don't know. For me personally I don't have the willpower to go through with it."

"So then you're a relationship girl." He didn't say that accusingly like most men in my age bracket would have done. I didn't blame them because I didn't care for commitment. At least at the moment I didn't.

I quickly tried to explain myself because I didn't want him thinking that I was 'those kind' of girls.

"Not really. I don’t really care much about them and I haven't been in that many relationships," I explained and he nodded. He kept looking at my lips and that made me drink more.

"How many have you been in?"

I always got embarrassed when answering this question. I decided to just be honest, "One."

"Your greatest love of all?" He wore that faint smile that I was beginning to like so much.

"Greatest? More like most painful."

My face was aflame and I began to regret what I'd just divulged to a stranger. Thankfully he didn't make me feel odd about revealing something that made me feel strange and nodded as he looked out at the restaurant.

"The greatest love will do that to you."

I admired his profile as the wind continued to blow his curls about his forehead. 

"Someone has experience," I said. 

He smiled, looking down at the table. "I've put in a few years, yeah."

His voice! It was so deep and raspy, I just couldn't get over how it wasn't what I'd expected. Lord forgive me but when he spoke I just lost it. 

I could listen to him talk all day, I think. And he talked a bit slowly, like he was almost always in a calm mood. 

"How many relationships have you been in?" I asked.

I couldn't remember the last time conversation flowed so easily with another human being. I made sure to keep in mind that I was drinking and that he wasn't the reason. I had to stop getting ahead of myself.

"Serious ones, three," he answered. 

"And your greatest love of all was which?"

"My second."

"What happened?"

He smirked. "That's more than I asked you, Miss Valerie."

I tilted my head. "Got somethin' to hide?"

"We all do. But I prefer, or at least I'm trying to be an open book. I'll just say simply it was a huge mistake."

I nodded and focused on stirring my drink with a sad smile. "Aren't they all mistakes?"

"What?"

It was on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. No matter how drunk I am. I punked out and looked down from his gaze, "I don't know."

"No. Tell me."

A strong feeling went through me at the way he said the words gently. I looked up and his green eyes gleamed with satisfaction when he saw how flustered I was. I didn't want him to think that he could make me speechless, so I grappled with a defensive response.

"Am I being ordered around?"

"I meant you can be honest with me. Say what you really want to say, and not worry about me judging you." He said a with a hint of seriousness while he linked his hands on the table. As he did, I spotted some black markings on his wrist, which made me look at his hands. They were rather large, and for some odd reason that made me blush.

Something possessed me to reach across the wooden table top and pull at his hand. I felt his blazing gaze on me as I pushed up his sleeve and confirmed that he had a tattoo of thorns circling his wrist.

His skin was warm and very inviting. A shiver went through me when I felt the need to touch pull his jacket further and touch more of him but I miraculously kept my composure. I swear I was starting to burn with how much I was drawn to this guy. He had a certain energy around him that made me feel comfortable.

He made me let my guard down without even really trying.

"I was sixteen and dumb," He explained as I gently ran the tip of my fingers over the tattoo. "This was my first. Where's yours?"

I didn't really think about it. I didn't feel like I had to. Without question, I turned around on the bench and lifted my hair off of my nape.

"Ah, pretty," he said when I was sure he saw the letter V done in Georgian calligraphy. I smiled because I really liked the way the word 'pretty' sounded in his British accent. I turned back around gnawing at my bottom lip coyly.

"Creative," he teased and when I stuck my tongue out at him and he stuck his out too and smiled. My heart skipped a beat and only then did I realize that my heart was thudding in my chest. There were only two people who knew I had that tattoo and I'd known both of them for a while. Even my parents didn't know, but what parents wanted to know whether their child had tattoos or not?

The point is I'd shown this guy a part of me I kept private when I barely knew him. Not only that, but I didn't want to embarrass him by making me think I'd dare talk to a guy like him. I guess I "knew my place" in the world.ars.

The thought began to make me retreat. I let go of his hand and wrist and placed them in the safe zone of my lap. I was still buzzing from having touched him though.

"What's wrong?" he asked, surprising me and I looked up to find him a bit concerned. I didn't mean to be so obvious and I laughed nervuosly. 

"Nothing. Hey, let's play the 'give the don't ask too deep questions but give the first answer that pops in your mind game'."

"Haven't heard that one before. Let's play."

I smiled, realizing that he was the type who was always up to have fun.

"Favorite time of the year?" I shot the first question.

"Summers in the Bahamas are great. You?"

"You've been to the Bahamas?!"

"Yeah? Have you not?!" He asked in a playfully judging tone and expression that made me laugh. 

"No! I haven't."

"Your life is incomplete without a Bahamas vacation, Valerie."

I should have been annoyed with how much he said my name after almost every sentence but every time he said it, I felt the strong urge to smile.

"I know I'm just such a workaholic," I looked to the side to show that I was bullshitting and he laughed. "Looking for hotels and resorts and all that, it's just stressful."

"You can stay at my place."

"Huh?"

"I have a condo down there."

"That was so smooth. Way to sneak in that you got it made."

"No. I'm a regular old joe who got lucky."

I stared at him thoughtfully. He had to be around our age but so far from what I heard he seemed well off. Most people in this area were doing okay but we were all still pretty young and trying to figure it all out. He seemed to have it made already. Or maybe he came from old money? Even though I came from a family that was doing well, my parents--mostly my father--always made sure to remind me that the money they attained was theirs and that I needed to make my own fortune.

Maybe he was more successful of a music producer than I knew.

"So you must be a big time music producer then."

He shrugged in a self-effacing manner, once again avoiding eye contact. This seemed to be the only thing he was shy about.

"What songs have you made? Are they really popular?" I asked.

"They're alright," he said flippantly. 

"Is Mr. Henry turning red?"

"Are we still playing the what was it, honest but don’t ask too deep questions game?"

I laughed.

"What's your favorite time of the year?" he asked me, changing the subject and I let him off the hook just this once.

"I like winters in New York."

He scrunched up his nose.

"Snow is…ah, snow," he said instead, trying to be polite with a fake smile that made me laugh hard.

"Oh whatever! Next question," I said with a smile that was hard to write off.

"Boyfriend?" he asked pointedly and I froze as my eyes widened. Henry mimicked my expression then smirked teasingly and I narrowed my eyes at him even though I couldn't help smiling at him. 

"Nope. You?"

He grinned, appreciating my teasing. "Cheeky."

My eyes widened again and I instantly felt self-conscious. I immediately began to feel like yep, it was only a matter of time. "What?"

"Cheeky. It's kind of how we say someone's sneaky or charming. It's a good thing, In this case at least."

I felt so much relief inside but my reaction to making his words negative was what bothered me and lingered. I laughed uncomfortably and picked up my Pain Killer. "Oh." 

"But no, I don't have a boyfriend, to answer your question," he went on even though I knew he could tell I was caught off guard with that word he threw at me. I guessed he was used to Americans not getting his British lingo at times. I decided to let it go and continue the game. 

"Girlfriend?" I asked him next. 

"No."

I nodded. I was surprised then again I wasn't.

"Favorite food?" He asked next.

"Chicken quesadillas. You?"

"I have a bunch. Right now, I have a taste for mother's Toad in the Hole."

At my clueless expression, he elaborated. "It's like …It's a british thing. It's really good."

"And it would be a noble thing to make some for me someday." I tried to stop smiling by sipping from my drink.

"Will do. If you let me."

"I never say no to free food."

We shared a smile and I looked down from him.

"I just said that to be exotic I actually McDonalds french fries. Like, a lot. It's my horrible guilty pleasure of the moment."

I laughed. "Got to love Mickey Ds. Okay, my turn. Favorite song of the moment?"

"Let Me Love You by Neyo. Did you just roll your eyes at me?! I really like that song! What's yours?"

"Somebody I Used to Know by Gotye."

He nodded approvingly. "He's a very talented fella. Favorite time of the day?"

"5 o'clock."

"Why?"

"Cause it's clock out time, duh! Time to head on home from work!"

He smiled and I got butterflies. Ugh.

"Ah, I see. The good ol' 9 to 5."

"Hey don't be mad cause your schedule is irregular."

"Not mad at all."

"I actually envy you. It must be nice to just not have the same thing every day."

"It's fun but it's hard work. Meeting deadlines is horrible. When it's close to deadlines I get about 3 hours of sleep a night."

There was a serious side of him trying to get out, a passionate fire hibernating in his eyes, but he tried to keep it in check. I didn't want to harp him for it because discussing his career seemed to make him uncomfortable for some reason.

"Poor you." I pouted sarcastically and he lifted his eyebrows with a huge smile while nodding.

"You're fun. What about you?"

"Me? I got to get my 8 hours a night."

"So you're not good at staying up all night..."

The way he said it made me squirm, but I pretended I didn't know what he was getting at.

"I'm the resident sloth okay. I can't function on 3 hours unless it's like the absolutely last option."

He simply smiled secretively while drinking his water, like he knew something about me that I didn't know.

"What about you, your favorite time of day?" I searched for something to say. His eyes were bordering on smoldering and I couldn't handle such stares, especially after touching his wrist got me excited. His wrist for crying out loud!

He set his glass down. He then leaned to one side as he fished in his pocket as he looked about the restaurant, then he suddenly stopped. "I think I have a new favorite. It's constantly changing. It just keeps getting better."

"What is it?"

"3:12 AM."

"Why?"

He pointed to the left and I followed his gaze, realizing the clock on top of the stand where food was picked up was what made stop and look earlier It indeed was around 3:12 in the morning and a rush of heat permeated through me when I realized what he was trying to say. With my elbow on the table, I placed my chin in my palm and tried to cover my smile with my fingers.

"Did it work? Did I get you to blush? I think I did. I see a little blush here and there."

I feigned a serious expression although I was going to learn soon it would be hard to compose myself around this mystery Henry guy.

"It didn't work." I tried to say in a steely voice and raised my chin arrogantly folded my arms. "It says 3:13."

Instead of being turned off by my theatrics, his smile widened. "I said it keeps changing cause it keeps getting better didn't I?"

I was feeling weak all over. Damn being human and all these emotions another human being could give you. I know we were just having fun with a little flirting here and there but I could see the burning in his eyes was making me feel all kinds of things inside.

I was royally fucked and I knew after he said he was going to get my guard down I should have hailed that cab a long time ago and just hightailed into the safety of the condo Ella and I shared.

"I-I have to go," I said as I started edging out of the bench. Henry began to slide out too, his eyes playful yet still predatory. I felt an excited rush going through me. I gaped at him and him mimicked me. I shook my head as I continued to try to escape.

"Where?" he asked.

"I don't know. Somewhere. Anywhere. Far away from here." I stood up with my purse in tow but Henry would not easily let me go. He blocked my path, planting both hands on either side of my hips on the table. His warmth and scent enveloped me. I was losing this battle, if I hadn't lost already.

"Want to bury your blushing face in the sand?" He asked as he towered over me. I could see the tattoos on his chest again. He had a nice masculine neck. He was so close I got turned on and excited.

Shit.

I hang my head exasperatedly but nodded in surrender. "Yes. Yes, that's what I want to, need to do."

"Okay come." He took out a hundred dollar bill and then took my hand. "I'll help you."

I looked over my shoulder to where we were seated and then at our linked hands, and at the back of Henry's head. His dark brown curls looked even better in brighter lighting and I had the urge to run my fingers through them, but I was too shocked by the hand holding. I looked about around us. There weren't that many people, but I was confused as to why he was holding my hand in public and not bothered at all by it.

He must have sensed my hesitation, for he turned around and gently tagged me till I was walking side by side with him.

"Are you afraid of sand too?" we were now walking down the steps of the boardwalk to the white sands.

"What do you mean, too?" I asked dumbly. I was still confused, just floating in the clouds where my butterflies seemed to have taken me. His hand felt so good around mine.

"Well when we were at Chasers, you were afraid when I said hello. Afraid when I bought you the drink. Afraid when I tried to stop you from falling to your doom. Afraid to speak to me when our drinks returned--"

"Shush. I'm not afraid. Just apprehensive of strangers like any other normal person."

"You are now holding the stranger's hand."

"I have alcohol in my system. It doesn’t count."

"Right. Oh look what we have here."

Ella and Peter weren't too far off from the boardwalk so we met up with them quickly. They were running around playing with a neon colored beach ball and as much as I couldn't stand Peter I appreciated the fact that he made Ella so happy. 

"What are you guys doing?" I asked.

"We found an abandoned volleyball. You guys against us. Here's the line" Peter began to draw a line on the sand with his foot. 

"Looks like we don’t have much of a choice, partner," Henry said to me.

"Let's show these guys how it's done," I said, surprising both him and myself as I took off my heels. I wished I hadn't agreed to play when Henry took his blazer off. There were more tattoos up his arm, and while they were much more than I usually liked, seeing them on him nearly made me faint. He looked good with them. There were more on his left arm than his right, and a muscular arm it was. He wasn't overdrive buff, but he was muscularly lean enough to prove that he took his physical health seriously. He had nice sized biceps that weren't too big or too small.

I suddenly felt something light hitting the corner of my head. Holding my head, I turned to find Ella laughing her ass off at my plight. She'd thrown the volleyball at me. I'd been staring at Henry that hard. Oh god, it had reached the point where the world around me didn't exist when I looked at him. That was not good.

"Pay attention!!" she shouted.

"Oh I'll pay attention all right," I got the ball and when I tossed it up, I missed after it fell back down for my hit. This sent everyone into a fit of laughter because it was clear I was too tipsy if I couldn't hit a ball that was right in front of me.

I grabbed the ball and threw it at Henry who was bawled over laughing. It hit him on his bowed back.

"You're supposed to be on my side!" I wailed to him, trying hard not to laugh myself. 

He responded by grabbing the ball and tossing it at me. Somehow, I missed, and Peter laughed hard at him. I grabbed the ball, threw it to Henry, and watched him retaliate as he hurled it at Peter who caught it and flung it to Ella, barely hitting her.

This turned into a game of ball tag. All four of us had fun, latching onto the last years of our young adulthood, or at least whatever was left of it. We were soon over playing and Ella and Peter ventured off into their own direction. As they walked off I chose that moment to appreciate our surroundings. It was such a beautiful night. The ocean waves were crashing onto the shore with a full moon overlooking the expansive beach and the salty smell of the ocean around us.

This was definitely a time I'd remember for a while. It made me a little bit sad.

"Are you alright?"

Henry's voice surprised me and I looked at him I hadn't. He was standing with his hands in his back pocket. His windblown hair was sexily all over the place. His thin shirt rippled and his necklace clinked due to the fairly strong breeze.

"We're getting old," I said.

"When's your birthday?" He asked and the question made me balk up for reasons I'd rather not think about.

"June 8th. 1986"

"Why'd you say it like that? Do you not like your birthday?"

"You're too observant, Henry," I said with a small smile.

"I am," he admitted as he began to walk towards me. "That's almost two weeks away isn't it?"

I shrugged and looked back at the ocean, ignoring the way my heart galloped when he began to near. "I'll be twenty-seven this year."

"Try turning twenty-eight." He was standing beside me now watching the picturesque ocean with me."Why is that such a bad thing to turn twenty-seven?"

I hesitated, but this thought had been weighing on me so much and I hadn't really confided in anyone about it. I knew most of it was me just mopping around, but it was weighing too heavily for me to ignore as of late.

"I missed out on so much. Now I feel like it's almost too late."

"Why did you miss out on so much?" Henry had sat down. I looked down to find that his knees were raised, and he put his weight on his elbows as he leaned back. I sat down beside him with my legs crossed.  

"I worried too much about dumb stuff when I was young. I cared what people thought about me, so I never partook in the fun things people do in high school or college. No prom blah blah blah. Didn't do much spring break. It's stupid I know. And no I'm not feeling sorry for myself, just kind of thinking."

"You were protective over yourself?"

"I had to be."

"Why?"

This is where I normally stopped revealing too much about myself. "I just met you."

He sat up and rested his arms on his raised knees. "And meeting you has been one of the most fun experiences in all my years on this planet. And I've been to many different places and met many different people but I never quite got the same feeling with them that I'm getting with you." He looked squarely at me. "It's weird."

My heart began thudding loudly again. I began to panic. Not because he was freaking me out but because I felt the same.

My panic made me defensive and I stood up and began dusting my sandy behind.

"I know there are not any other options but please don't consider me an easy lay."

He looked confused at first, then smiled as he looked down at the sand, then picked up a broken shell that was by his boot."Original."

"What?"

"You go to the 'I think you’re an easy lay because I'm actually listening to what you're saying' because you think that I think that you'd be so impressionable to fall for the first guy who asks you 'are you okay' instead of me just being genuinely interested in why a woman with so much spirit would hold herself back from her best years, no prom, blah blah blah, etcetera. You didn't strike me as the cliché type, Valerie. I gave you more credit than that."

I was too stumped to speak. He tossed the shell and stood up, facing me as he pushed his hands into his pockets.

"But, your story is yours to tell. I wont pressure you to give me any details. All I can tell you is you can't get that time back, but you can focus on, 4:04 AM and make the following minutes the best you've ever had so that you can say, I may have not had the time of my life in my teens, but on that Saturday morning at about 4 o'clock I had the most fun I'd ever had in my entire life and you can treasure it instead of lingering on a time you'll never get back."

I was rendered speechless. Even if these were some new pick up lines, I couldn't deny them. I couldn't shun them. I took heed to his words. That's what I did before with our 'honesty' and I had a blast, didn't I?

As if reading my thoughts, he slipped his fingers around mine. He was patient about it, one finger connecting with mine, and then another, all the while looking warmly into my eyes.

"No prom?" his hand now encased mine. He pulled me to him and while looking down at me, he took hold of my other hand and said, "Let's give you a prom."

My knees nearly buckled as waves of euphoria swept through me. I couldn't deny him now. I gave in and allowed him to hold me. He smoothed his hands up the curves of my hips to my waist. Deep down inside I was as panicked as I was also exhilarated. He was touching parts I detested about myself but we were both lucky I was intoxicated enough to where it didn't bother me as much as usual.

I lay the side of my head on his chest with my hands flat against his stomach, which was nice and firm. He had a few packs going on which was always a good thing.

"I'm probably getting make up on your shirt right now."

"Don't care."

"What song are we dancing to?" I asked, smiling against his chest.

"Our heartbeats," he said laughingly and I threw my head black to look at him in disbelieve.

"That was good wasn't it?"

When we were this close I could see how long his lashes are. Hell, they were longer and finer than mine. Screw him for being so beautiful.

"If this were a book, I'd throw it into a pit of flames at this moment."

I loved how he'd always smile whenever I teased him. He was such a good sport.

"Did you want to throw the book when I said my favorite time of the day?"

"Almost but it was still really sweet of you to say."

"Good. As for the song, well, what's your favorite slow song?" he said as he fished in his pocket.

"Ummm, I don’t know." I rested my head against his chest again. He was just so comfortable. That was my defense mechanism against looking him in the eye.

He sighed exasperatedly and drawled out my name in his deep, raspy voice. "Valerieeeee." The vibrations I felt on his chest against my face sent an exciting tingle through my body. "Work with me here."

"Surprise me. You pick."

"Okay. Just one moment."

I bit my lip to keep me from smiling at this moment that felt so special. I was so geeked.

"Okay, you ready?" He'd shoved his phone back in his pants and his hands were back around my waist. The tunes of Spandau Ballet's True began playing and I smiled in appreciation, snuggling closer to him.

"I like this one! Good choice."

"Why thank you, me lady," he said into my hair and it was my turn to sigh exasperatedly.

"You need to work on your charming techniques. You're  like, so1800s."

I felt his smiling against my forehead as he wrapped his arms around my waist fully, drawing me closer. I giggled and put my hand over my mouth.

"Oh god! I giggled! I fucking giggled!"

He laughed, his chest shaking against my face. It was so comforting. "What's wrong with giggling?"

"It's so girly!"

"Well, I hope you're a girl."

I laughed and we danced, swaying lightly from left to right but not particularly paying attention to rhythm.

"Okay, the question game continues. What age did you have your first girlfriend? Am I asking too many questions?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I was 6."

"Really."

"It's honesty weekend, is it not?"

I smiled at his playfully offended tone.

"My first I guess kind of serious girlfriend, I was 16. I've had many unserious ones, and they started at 6."

"Early bloomer, you are."

"Yep. How old were you when you had your first boyfriend?" he asked.

"You'll think I'm a freak."

"I'd still like you, Your Freakiness."

"I was…twenty-four."

"I see."

When I tilted my head back to peer at him, he shrugged.

"What? Am I supposed to ask you why or what was wrong with you? Because I don't think anything is wrong with that. Now that I'm older I think those kids that didn't get into anything serous early were the smarter ones."

I eyed him skeptically, but was comfortable enough to wrap my arms around his neck. I'd always been so self-conscious about doing this, like I made the guy uncomfortable, but when I saw the excitement streaking through his eyes, I felt so good. I felt so..oh god don't god, don't hate me for this, but I felt…wanted. And pretty. And desired.  I hated that it was taking another guy to make me feel like this. I should have felt like this on my own but…in all good honesty, I didn't.

Just as I started to feel good though, like every other moment in my life, I began to feel self-conscious, but thankfully Henry cut into my thoughts.

"I mean, let's look at all the insanely successful people in the world. They were focused on being successful, not relationships."

"But successful at what cost? You have everything but at the same time you have nothing."

"I don't think Bill Gates thinks that right now. I think he's pretty content. Mark Zuckerberg seems to have everything. David Karp's doing pretty well for herself."

"Mark Zuckerberg, David Karp, and Bill Gates. Those are the worst examples you could use. I don't consider them human beings. Let's just say that some people just have it better than others--Ugh," I started bumping my head frustratingly against his chest. "Damn it. Damn it. Damn it."

"What?"

"Being Negative Nancy again. She's like my alter ego. I'm really trying to shake her, I swear."

"Alter ego. Huh? Is this the part where I run in the other direction?"

I tilted my head back to look at him, readjusting my fingers along his nape and enjoying the way his curls tickled my skin. "You know I was wondering when you were gonna come to your senses. Haven't I dropped enough hints? You should be on the other side of the beach right now."

"Hints about what?" he was looking at me again with that questioning glance. I began to notice that he drew his eyebrows together, causing a small crease in between his eyebrows. This expression of concentration made me feel like I was the only person in the world who mattered. Usually when the focus was on me, something negative normally came out of it. I began to get nervous and changed the subject, replacing my head on his chest.

"Did you go to college here or Britain?"

"You're so not good at smoothly changing the subject. I never went to college."

"Oh."

"So when will I see you again?"

The question made me pause.

"It takes you that long to come up with an excuse?"

"Yes, please give me a minute."

His smile widened and he shook his head, murmuring under his breath, "You're horrible."  

"I was going to go the, I have a boyfriend route but I just told you I don’t have one. Then I was going to say I'm focusing on my career but we both know that's bullshit. Then I was going to say I'm taking to someone when I usually just talk to the chair in the morning before work cause no one else is in the house."

"Maybe I don’t want to see you again..." he said jokingly in suspicion.

"Ah ha! Acting crazy worked. Wooo!!!"

"Do you want to see me again?" he asked and he was serious despite the warmth in his eyes, a warmth that was turning into a burning fire. I began to panic. What kind of player was this guy? I mean, how persistent could he be? We both knew I wasn't really his type. For all I knew he was trying to prove to Peter that he could get me, the most unbreakable woman on earth. I knew my thoughts would annoy most, but I felt a little bit offended, not happy that he'd want to see me again. Time and experienced proved to me that I just wasn't a catch worth keeping. I was the girl people wanted to test drive when it was dark outside and anything went cause everyone was drunk. He wouldn't even speak to me after the fact. He made me horny and yes I had my desperate moments but I wasn't that desperate.

"No. Just your dimples," I tried to make light of the situation, trying not to show my hurt. It's like he knew I was drifting away because he held on tighter.

"How will you see them again without me?"

My breathing was beginning to be labored. I was losing control. NO no no, he didn't want me for real. He was just…what was the reason that I couldn't see him again?

Whatever he was doing to me made me quickly go for his face to kiss the indentation on his cheek. I finally accepted that I was obsessed with his dimples which is what made me do something so spontaneous and out of character. Or maybe it was in my character, I just never felt like I was allowed to do something like that.  

He turned his head to kiss me but I moved my head and buried my face in his shoulder.

"Bollocks! You're too fast for me."

"Bollocks? You said bollocks! That's so cool."

"So impressing you with a word I rarely use but is still considered very British worked. Nice. I know what to do from now on."

I buried my face in his chest, "You're sneaky, or shall we say, cheeky. I like cheeky."

"Then cheeky it is."

We stood this way for a long time.Another song was playing from his phone right now. I closed my eyes and listened to the ocean waves.  It felt so perfect. 

"I don't feel like moving right now." He said into my hair, his voice quiet and slightly above a whisper.

"Me neither," I responded, my voice just as quiet. I think I was shaking a little bit. What the fuck was this? I was fucking shaking?! What a punk I was! But the feeling he was giving me was so strong.

"I think we just found our new favorite time of the day, don't you think?" he shifted as he got his phone and the music went off. "4:40 AM." He returned his phone back into his pants. As he spoke I could hear the smile in his voice and I damn near died on the spot.

He was really good.

I had to stay on my toes, although it was getting hard.

"Should we stay like this till we shrivel and die?" he asked and I pulled back to gape at him.

"That is so morbid. Is Negative Nancy rubbing off on you--"

His lips landed on mine gently and I froze. We both stayed this way until he gently plucked on my upper lip, and then my bottom lip, creating sweet quiet kissing sounds. While all this was happening, his fingers pressed firmly into the waist that I hated so much, but surprisingly didn't scare me off. Next he realigned his lips against mine, pressing them gently and pulled back soundlessly, pressing his forehead against mine

The kiss was very innocent and subtle and sweet but it had all the sirens inside my body. My heart was slamming against my rib cage and my fingers were clutching onto his white t-shirt, probably stretching it and ruining it.  

"I should thank Nancy. She just scored me a kiss with you," he murmured throatily. 

My mind drew a blank. He chuckled and rubbed his lips against the tip of my nose.

"No running away? Didn't I say anything's possible earlier?"

"Do it again," I said breathlessly before I came to my senses and he looked down at me in pleasant surprise.  "Hurry. Kiss me before I come to my senses."

He wasted no time. His lips were on mine they weren't cautious or mindful as they were before. His hands left my waist and cupped my face as he gently pried my lips apart with his tongue. The warm, wetness not only made me gasp and turned my legs into jelly, but it made my fingers urgently curl into his shirt. So urgent that I gently scratched his chest through the thin material. He seemed to like his, groaning low in his unusually deep voice and I sighed at the arousing tingle that gave me. As if that wasn't enough to drive me mad, he titled his head at the same time and successfully pierced through my lips and showed he still had some kind of mind not to be overbearing, and only gently rubbed the tip of his tongue against mine. I made an unintelligible sound which when I think about it later made me feel so weak but I was helpless, the sound came out of me without any control. He was so gentle yet so curious and it was all turning me on something so fierce, unlike anything I'd ever experienced, that I began to convulse even just a little.

Shocked by my reaction to him, I stiffened and took a drastic step back as I pushed him. He too, was breathing laboriously through now pouty, dewy lips. He looked to be in a daze, blinking incessantly while combing his hair out of his hair away from his forehead.

"G-Goodnight Henry." I stuttered as I grabbed my shoes. "Or--uh--g-g-goodmorning. Since it's uh, 4 something in the morning..."

"Valerie--" he touched me to stop me but I reacted like I'd been scolded and stumbled back.

"I'm not going to have sex with you or do you any favors. That's all this is, that's the only thing that makes sense it doesn't make sense for you to treat me like this I mean there were prettier girls at Chasers than me. That friend of yours Alexis was prettier and skinner than me and let's not act like you're not too fucking out of my league so what you're doing right now makes no sense and it's suspicious as hell. It was fun, you're an amazing kisser, and you're so fucking cute I mean, your style drives me crazy and your charm is off the meter and I wish I was a bonus points kind of girl so I could appreciate you but I'm just not built for it. Thank you. And goodnight."

I quickly turned  from his stunned expression and hurried away, the sounds of  towards Sea Burger where Peter and Ella were seated.

They were so into each other and whatever they were talking about, they only noticed me when I was a few feet away from them.

"I'm ready to go," I told Ella decisively. By the tone of my voice Ella knew it was a done deal.

"Come on, man?" I heard Peter behind me but didn't care. I continued down the board walk. 

I was standing by the car putting on my shoes when I realized I'd left my purse on the beach and cursed to myself because I had to go back and face him after that excruciatingly embarrassing, dramatic exit. Well, my license was something I couldn’t leave so I had to go back. Just as I turned to go back, hoping that Henry wouldn't be there, I saw Ella approaching me with a concerned expression. I sighed with relief when I saw my purse in her hand.

"You left your purse. Are you okay? Your face is red as fuck." She asked concernedly as she handed me my purse.

"Yeah. I'm just ready to go."

After a suspicious glance, she went to her side of the car. Soon we were peeling away from the parking lot and the feeling of relief I thought I would be feeling was not coming.

"What happened? He said you were really upset. You okay?"

"No. No. No." I gritted my teeth and growled frustratingly. "Fuck. What did I do?"

"What did you do?"

"You know what? He probably thinks I'm crazy which is good. That's good. He'll stay away for sure now."

"What happened?"

"Who am I kidding? I probably would have never seen him again anyway, just like that last guy."

"The guy from the bar like six months ago? Really Val? We need to find you a new therapist cause clearly Dr. Samson aint doing a good job."

"And even if I slept with him, that would be it. I like him too fucking much for that to be it."

"What happened???"

"I mean I would do the friends with bonus points thing if guys didn't just toss me after using me. You know the thing about me, guys don't even want to just be friends because they don’t want to be seen with me in broad daylight, so it's not like I could say, hey let's just be friends after fucking."

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!"

"We kissed and I freaked out." I immediately cursed because that was not something I wanted Ella to know. 

"Oh my god Val! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!" she exclaimed and completely ignoring the part where I freaked out.

"Shut up. SHUT UP!" I buried my face in my hands when I remembered how fucking majestic the kiss was. 

"This is a huge deal!" Ella said excitedly.

"Nope." I tried desparately to erase the image of his eyes hair arms but was failing. 

"He is a dream," Ella went on. "And he's super rich! And he's young! He's just…ah he's perfect. I told you. Your prince!"

"The only Prince I ever refer to in life is one of my favorite singers and no, I know what his end game was and I didn't give it to him so he was mad."

"He was mad?"

"No! Not mad. Disappointed. No, I don't think he was disappointed. I think he thought I was crazy in the end. Anyway who cares. I wasn't going to sleep with him and I know that's what he wanted. That’s what all guys at the clubs want."

"You like him," she continued to ignore my words. This was a regular conversation between Ella and I. 

"No," I insisted. 

"You do. You only freak out like this when you really like a guy."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do. You act like you hate it but it's because you're panicking. And you're fucking going off the rails now. Yeah. You reaaaally like him like, whoa."

"Nope. I was drunk. He was…" When I remembered he hadn't touched his Pain Killer, I cursed to myself. He wasn't drunk. "He was…adventurous. It ends there. He was probably trying to prove something to Peter."

"I hope you gave him your number." She completely ignored my comment about Peter. 

"I didn't.Thank god."

"What?!" She muttered a string of curse words. "Did he give you his?"

"Nope. Not after I scared him off." I sighed with relief and just expended all my body weight on the passenger's seat. "Thank god."

Ella opened her mouth to speak but she was speechless. She glanced at me at a loss of what to say or do and looked back at the road.

"Ella, I love you, and I know you are excited over drive because no one has heard me complain about the plight of being the token unattractive friend in the group, and you're glad that someone of his…caliber would pay attention to someone like me, but you don't have to do this. I nipped an awkward situation in the bud quickly. Imagine the laughter or disgust on his friends' faces when he says he kissed someone like me," I shivered. "Don't hype the situation up. It didn't matter. It was just fun. I'm smarter this time--"

She hit the steering wheel with both palms before clutching onto it. "For fuck sake Val!"

"And no one is ever going to use me again," I continued, trying to convince myself that I did the right thing.

"Sometimes I wonder how it feels to be your own worst enemy," Ella, at her wits end, said. "But you know what, I wont do this. Not now. I had a great night. I wont raise my blood pressure. I will let you continue to live in your imaginary world of self-hate. But let me tell you something. You have let a fucking good catch go and I pray you regret this for the rest of your miserable life!"

I was surprised by all her ire but knew at the end of the day Ella just wanted me to be happy from what I'd been through. But I felt she should have understood my position since she'd known the battles I'd had all my life. The only reason most people didn't know is because I begged her not to share them with anyone. Her loyalty forced her to keep my secrets.

"If I wasn't so head over heels for Peter," she continued, seething. "I would be all over all that British goodness not wasting a damn second. Henry is a good guy. A gentleman--"

"He probably has friends with bonus points--"

"So does every other normal 25 year old and up Val get your head out of the fucking clouds for once! You're being so fucking annoying right now you know that!"

"I know I'm being annoying and sorry I'm not like every other normal 25 year old and up."

"Oh woe the fuck is me! You know what, you deal with that shit.  I'm not dealing with it today, Valerie."

It had been a long time since Ella referred to me by my full name. I knew I'd really upset her, but I was fairly upset myself. I was still wired up. I could still feel his lips on mine and his hands on my waist.

I felt beautiful then. But I felt disgusting now. And that made me feel sorry for him. 

"Thank you," I said to her as I folded my arms and lay my head against the window pane while looking out.

The rest of the car ride was silent. Not even the music was turned on. Yeah, she was pretty pissed.

I sighed and closed my eyes in regret and embarrassment over how I dragged not only Ella in the mud with me, but also Henry, a complete stranger.

Maybe this was why I was all alone. But I told myself I'd done the right thing. I'd saved myself before it was too late.

I knew I was being immature, but it's only because I was panicking.

Hasn’t fear been known to be a natural reaction to the unknown?

People fear things they don't understand. I couldn't understand what was happening to me.

I had never felt all the emotions swimming through me, and it wasn't the damn Pain Killers.

It was Henry.

And I didn't even know his last name. There's an honesty question I should have asked. 

I was just glad that I would probably never see him again. 

Chapter 4

"You came in late again today. Don't you roll your eyes at me!"

I stared at the robust CEO crossing the plush carpet of the highest floor of Earldet building.

"Is that why you called me in here, dad?" I asked with the least bit of interest. This was not my week and I didn't want to hear him going off, even though admittedly, he had every right to.

I hadn't been on my game this week.

"It's Mr. Jones whenever you're in this building, don't forget that. And I am getting complaints about your work." He sat down, surprising me when he tore his eyes from the paperwork in front of him; albeit with great effort. Daddy was a workaholic. Work was his first love, though that wasn't abnormal for CEOs.

The critical look he gave me was normal. I'd received it most of my life whenever he did take time out of his busy schedule to look my way.

"I keep hearing that It's not up to par. Why do you not do your part? You're not even that great at it and you're slacking off. You should be busting your chops, I've heard enough about favoritism. Should I talk to Giles about hiring you at his company? You can't make it here by half assing, especially just because you're my daughter. The Massachusetts project was a group one and your part was integral yet you did next to nothing. Stacey had to pick up your slack. What was your excuse this time?"

I had no excuse. I wanted to tell him I'd been carrying the project and just slipped up closing it. My coworkers assured me they wouldn't have trouble completing the project without me. I was sure no one in my group tattled and that my father just had one of his little 'spies' making sure I was doing my job. He had a lot of those to make sure his business was constantly in tip top shape.

My father was owner of Earldet, a company that dealt with cloud services, offering software as a utility. It was his latest business venture; one of many. He was a revered software engineer and businessman who just wanted to keep pushing the envelope. I felt for him because the competition was fierce with all these start ups from young entrepreneurs that kept popping out of nowhere and inking billion dollar deals because they were hip to what people of our generation needed.

He was well passed retiring age. Money was not the issue for my father--he had lots.

He just had competitive blood.

Even though my father had made many contributions to the industry, he felt he hadn't done enough. He was never satisfied with himself and rarely satisfied with anyone else.

This was a very difficult company to work for and while I was pretty alright at my job, I knew if I wasn't his daughter I wouldn't have even gotten through the door. I knew I was lucky but that didn't stop me from being miserable. I just couldn't reconcile myself to completely accepting that I'd be working this job for the rest of my life.

I hated software development for the most part.

I'd grown to like some things about it but for the most part I was kind of over it. I had my days when I enjoyed it and this was just one of those days when I wasn't feeling it at all.

I slipped up a couple of times, but I'd never been an hour late for work. I was getting my ass handed to me for taking the privilege of being his daughter too far. Well, most people thought I was privileged but I knew different.

My father was hard on me. He felt even though the world had been hard on him, that didn't mean he was going to let his kids have an easy ride. Although it did seem like my younger sister ten years my junior was having it much easier than I did.

I wouldn't be surprised if he fired me today. Even though he hired me to work here, he didn't play favorites at all. If anything, he was harder on me than others.

"So do you have anything to say for yourself?" he was already looking back at his paperwork.

"Nope. I have nothing to say."

My father's incensed dark brown eyes that many said were identical to mine, flew up to me. I kept my expression blank. One thing I got from my father was stubbornness. Because we were alike in that way, we got into quite a few spats. 

I waited for him to say I was fired but he simply looked down at his work again and began to scribble.

"I'm cutting your salary."

"Like hell you are!" the spoiled brat in me came out and I bit my lip. My dad whipped his eyes up to me again.

"Excuse me young lady?" he rumbled. I could see his blood pressure rising.

"Now you look at me. You don't ever look at me. When's the last time you looked at me and said hey how's your day going? When I ask you how your day is going you act like I'm being such a nuisance."

Any time I tried to speak about anything other than software with my dad, he looked at me like I was crazy. Emotions did not compute with this guy.

"Are you really going to try talk emotions at 10 in the morning when I'm in the middle of a crisis?" he asked me in disbelief. My dad's version of a crisis could be a one dollar loss to the company. His need for professional perfection was overwhelming. It bled out into his personal life sometimes and those closest to him had to suffer for it.

He dismissed me quickly, refocused on his work once again. "Go home. I don't need your bad energy affecting your team and it's not like you're doing much anyway. If you don't shape up come Monday, you're outta here and will have to fend for yourself after that. Not like you know how to anyway."

I mentally slung a pack of curse words at him but give a brittle smile and said instead, "Thank you father dearest."

"And the next time you raise your voice at me or try to get smart with me, you'll be on the streets picking up cans quicker than your head can spin. Don't you give me that tone ever again. Do I make myself clear?"

I nearly stuck my tongue out at him just to be a pest but that damn 'good girl' that was trained into me as a child always became the victor. At the end of the day despite some of my rebellious ways, I still had respect for my parents.

"Yes sir," I mumbled grudgingly and left.

Three hours later I was sitting at home in my super mario pajamas pants and an oversized sweatshirt, playing video games on my xbox. My hair was in a messy pony tail and beside me was an empty bowl that previously held my low fat pop corn.

"Danny!!! You're going the wrong way!!" I said to my friend into the microphone of my headseat. Four of us were all playing an intense shooting game online.

The door opened and in came Ella.

"Hello," I greeted, not taking my eyes off the game.

"Hey."

Ella and I were only on diplomatic speaking terms. I'd tried to go back to talking to her like things were normal but her resistance showed me she wasn't ready for it. It had been a long time since I resorted to bratty behavior like I did over the past weekend, and usually Ella got over it quickly, but this time Ella's reaction was different. She went into her room without saying another word and I frowned to myself.

This is what I got for being the negative party pooper that ran everyone into the mud. I'd asked for it, so feeling regret and mopping around would be stupid at this point.

As I sipped on my green tea, my phone rang. I smiled with glee when I saw that it was Josephine, my other good friend besides Ella. Those were the only two I could completely be free with.  She was a tall, slender, woman with shoulder length black hair and the prettiest, smoothest dark brown skin ever. She was now an ambitious lawyer trying to work her way up the ranks and usually had no time for anything so I was surprised she had time to call.

"Jose!!" I answered. Ella and I met Josephine at one of our college functions. Though three years older than us, she was amazing. She stood up for me many times when I had problems and basically took care of Ella and I when we were some wet behind the ears freshmen. We kept in contact with her even when we graduated because the bond among us three was so strong I was sure nothing could ever break it.

"Hello my dear. What's up?" she asled then suddenly began talking to someone else. "John? I need that paperwork now. You guys need to hurry up, pick up the pace. Sorry Val I thought I had a bit of a break but these interns are not doing what they're supposed to."

"It's fine. How are you?"

"Good! Busy as ever. You?"

"Same. Chillin'."

"Are you at work?"

"I'm at home. In my pjs. Playing video games."

"You and those videogames! You are about to be 27!"

"Apparently I don’t have this growing up thing down pat."

"Yeah, about this guy that you turned down?"

I groaned, letting my head fall on the back of the couch. "She told you didn't she?"

"Yes I did."

I jumped at the sound of Ella's voice. "Ella?! You're on the line?"

"I called her and she called you for a threeway," Ella explained. "She needs to cuss you out for me."

"And Jose here I thought you were calling cause you loved me," I said dryly.

"Oh hush. Now who is this British god that you apparently said no to?"

"He's a music producer Josephine and he's rich. Like filthy fucking rich," Ella answered before I could.

"A music producer, huh? You don’t run into those pretty often at Tilden. How old is he to be so rich?"

"27," Ella answered again. I realized then that I wouldn’t need to say much in this conversation.

"Ah, does he fly a helicopter too?" I could hear the smile in Josephine's voice. 

"No but I wouldn't be surprised if he had one," Ella said.

"Do we have a Christian Grey in the works?" she was grinning now I could tell.

"Oh god," I murmured, dropping my face in my palm.

"All I'm saying is she had absolutely no reason to say no this time. Like, absolutely none. Then the next time we're with our boyfriends she's going to start going on and on about how she doesn't have one. She'd been a bitch to him from the start and for some reason he just kept pursuing her," Ella explained.

"Thanks for the bitch compliment…" I murmured.

"Val why do you do this?" Josephine asked.

"She says he just wanted her for sex," Ella said and Josephine laughed. Ella did too. I sat there with a heated face feeling like a foolish little child that had made a mountain out of a mole hill.

"No shit? A straight man meets a woman at a club and wants to have sex with her cause he's attracted to her. Where they do that at, huh?" Josephine suddenly started yelling. "John?! This is not what I asked for! Just shut the door behind you." She calmed again. "I'm sorry guys. What were we saying?"

"It makes her feel cheap when guys are sexually attracted to her," Ella explained. "Oh but you just hear her how she talks about men as sexual objects. Yep. Valerie is the only one allowed to fantasize about sexing guys, but let a guy tell her he thinks she's sexy, it's either death stare or run for the hills time." 

I sighed, knowing that defending myself at this point would be pointless. Saying that I wasn't attractive didn't seem a good enough excuse anymore.

"Okay, I only have a few minutes." Josephine began, taking on her maternal role in the group. "Most men want sex. That's just how they're programmed. It doesn't make them bad people. You just have to weed out the notorious ones. Many women want sex too, and Val I know with all the cobwebs building down there you want sex too, don't lie. I saw the porn websites you visited in your history the last time I was there when you thought no one was looking."

"What the--you?!"

"It's normal," she continued. "Now get off your sympathetic ass and go hop on some nice British dick and then come back to us with a dick report."

"Oh my god sex isn't everything for crying out loud!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah but it's something," Ella said. "I don't know why she sees it as such an ugly thing. Society has made you believe as a woman that it's wrong to enjoy sex and it's also made you think that's all men want. Sure, some of the stereotypes are true, but it's not all true. And what's wrong with you and Henry having sexual attraction towards one another? Why am I even bothering when you're going through your 'I'm not good enough' stage."

"Yeah this is where I hang up." Josephine said impatiently. "I have no time for that. Get over it and hop on that dick. Okay, I have to go. This intern really fucked up. I love you guys and I will be there in a few weeks. Smooches."

She hang up, leaving Ella and I on the phone.

"Listen, Ella--"

"Nope. Don't talk to me. I only talk to you through third parties now." She hang up on me and I sighed.

I tried to focus on the game, but I couldn't. The week had been hellish for me and I hated for Ella to be mad. Sucking up my pride, I got up and went to Ella's door, which was thankfully open. She was walking around her room and looked to be getting ready to go out. I already expected to have a lonely weekend, but that didn't mean I liked it.

"Hey," I began tentatively.

"I think I hear the feel sorry for me marching band in my room but I will ignore it. I don't have time. I'm going out."

I frowned but took it like a champ and just nodded.

"What have you been up to?" She asked. despite the grudge in her tone, I could hear the concern. I smiled lightly and walked in to sit cross legged on her queen sized bed.

"I've been alright. Just trying to focus on work." I was reminded of getting kicked out of work today but didn't bother mentioning another fail in addition to the many I'd had since that fateful weekend.

"What about you?" I asked.

"I'm good. Going to Margaret's for her pool party."

"Oh."

I knew she was coming around when she asked my opinion on a couple of bathing suits that she wanted to wear. I realized then how I'd normally get depressed and insecure, wailing over how lucky she was for her thin yet curvy figure that could pull off any attire. Even my therapist reminded me when I saw her earlier that week that nobody wanted to be around a sourpuss all the time when I recounted that weekend's events. I forced myself not to make the situation about my insecurities and helped her pick the best choice. Ella didn't deserve my grievances. No one did. Even as I knew this, sometimes the worst got the best of me because of all the taunting I'd received over the years.

Ella must have noticed my attempts at being more positive than usual and surprised me when she invited me. "Please come. I know she sent you a text about it."

"I already told her I have plans."

"Nice cause I told her you'd probably say that but you'd be lying so she knows you have no plans," She said while putting a folding towel into her bag.

"Damn it Ella! No wonder she's sounding pissed in her texts."

"Come on, get ready."

When I said nothing, she sighed heavily, her shoulders sagging and a genuine frown on her face.

"I'm trying Valerie. I'm fucking trying even though I really don't want you to come, you know why? Because you're just going to ruin the whole fucking thing with your problems like no one else there has problems."

I knew my cousin was worn out with my sensitivity. She'd dealt with it for so long. She remembered the taunts. She knew why I was this way which was why I'd gotten her sympathy and enabling so long. I guess a person could only take so much.

"You were doing so great. You became fun like how I know you are and then, look okay I'm not mad at you about the Henry thing. I just was frustrated because I know how unhappy you've been. I know that George still bothers you--"

My entire body tensed at the name. "Please don't mention--"

"Just hear me out."

I clamped my mouth shut and lowered my head. 'George' was still a very heavy subject. It was something I'd chosen to speak about because it still hurt so much.

She came and sat down next to me.

"I know that that's part of why you're so afraid of trusting someone else, okay? Henry was a nice guy but you weren't ready and that's okay, but would you stop mopping around? We're family and I hate seeing you like this. Please."

I looked up at her pleading expression and decided to go ahead and give in. "Okay. I'll go and I'll try to make the best out of it. Thanks for asking even though I know you could use some more time without me."

"And don't just say this and do the same thing again Valerie. No one wants to be around that. I understand why you think the way you do, but could you at least try?"

"Yeah. Stop, I'm not a baby. I know I been acting like one but I'll try to be better." 

She grinned the happiest grin I'd seen all week.

Two hours later, we were pulling into the driveway of Margaret's modest, yet very welcoming beach house. It was a boxy white house with palm trees and many large blue tinted windows. I got excited whenever we visited her with hopes of getting one of these bad boys myself when I'd saved up enough.

The wide windows showed quite a few people there already.

"So, anyone we know going to be here?" I asked while unclasping my seat belt.

"Henry went back to Britain a long time ago. Don't you worry." She gave me a cool smile.

"Oh. Cool. Great. I don’t have to face embarrassment again ever," I said as we both got out.

While we walked up the pathway, I caught a vague glimpse of myself in the mirror. I wore jeans and a tucked in oversized light blue denim shirt. It was casual but cute enough for hanging out I supposed. I wasn't looking to impress anyone really but more focused on trying to have as good of a time that I could with Ella and some friends.

When we stepped inside, we said hello to some people we knew. 

"Look who showed up," Margaret said, giving me an exasperated look as she opened up for a hug.

"I did have plans. I wanted an isolated weekend, so I wasn't lying," I told her as I hugged her.

"Well I'm glad you came! I was about to get mad at you!" Margaret said and I smiled as she pulled me in a side hug and walked around with me, introducing me to other people.

I felt very happy and spoiled when some familiar faces were very happy to see me since I usually didn't go for these things, opting to play video games at home instead. It showed me how I always over thought things and expected for the worst. I was feeling pretty good about being there until I heard loud laughter from the other end of the room and saw a bright orange beanie. I'd seen it through the window briefly wondering who was wearing such a bright color.

Under the beanie were some dark brown curls. My heart skipped a beat when I heard a deep, male, British voice that stood out among all the voices in the room, as the guy in the orange beanie continued on the joke amongst the guys. He had on a light grey shirt, with the short sleeves rolled up at the hems and dark blue jeans. A guy standing next to him shoved him playfully while he bowled over laughing and the orange beanie guy's shoulders hiked while he held out his arms blamelessly. The tattooed, slim yet muscular arms I distinctly remembered gawking at when Ella threw the volleyball at my head.

It was Henry.

My heart shot up to my throat and my legs went weak. I told myself to chill. Maybe it wasn't him.

"So, you know the part where I said Henry went back to Britain?" Ella asked while waving at Peter from their group. Peter's reciprocating wave made all the other guys in the group turn around. If I was quick enough, I'd be behind Ella right now, but I wasn't.

Henry turned around, holding a plastic cup in his hand. His eyes locked with me and his smile faltered for a second, but he surprised me when he quickly recovered, smiling kindly and waving at both Ella and I.My legs nearly gave. I never knew a man wearing a beanie could be so sexy until I saw him.

Damn.

"How could you not tell I was lying?" Ella asked as she waved back enthusiastically. I only managed a weak smile and a wave just as weak.

He looked so good.

He sipped his drink, and then continued his conversation with the guys as Peter approached us.

He hugged us both and when he pulled back from me, he grinned down at me. "I'm surprised you came out. I'm glad you did actually."

The face I made at him made him laugh.

"Right…" I muttered suspiciously.

"No really. I know I give you a hard time but, I want you to be happy."

I lifted an eyebrow. "What's with this change of heart? I thought you hated me?"

He slung an arm over my shoulder and drew me close. "Valerie I don't hate you. I can't stand your negativity sometimes but not hate."

I decided to take what Peter was saying in stride and just let bygones be bygones. My behavior last time was a testament to how negative I could be so I let it go. We talked for a while before Peter ventured off to meet some people he knew.

We mingled with a few people then it was just me and Ella again, though it was hard to keep the guys from swarming to her--she was so pretty they didn't even care that Peter was hers. When they gave us a break and it was just us two, I was talking to her when I heard a deep voice from behind.

"Hey ladies."

I turned and there Henry was, holding his cup of some copper beverage.

"Henry!!!" Ella sprung out to hug him.

"Ella!!! You look amazing," he said as they pulled back.

"You do too. Your beanie is so cute!!!" she exclaimed as she touched it. At that moment a good friend of Ella's pulled her aside and I cursed inwardly cause this left Henry and I alone.

 He smiled as he looked to me, catching me off guard with the sweetness of his smile

"Valerie. Hey."

My mouth went dry and I suddenly found it hard to speak when I looked at those lips that had kissed me.

"Hen…" my voice tapered off at the worst moment. Looking at him left me dumbly speechless.

"It's Henry."

I felt like a bucket of water got splashed on my face and stared at him feeling humiliated and stupid. "I…"

He quickly assessed my body. "You look nice. Are you going for a swim with the rest of them?"

"I'm not much of a swimmer. Are you going to swim?" I silently hoped so because I wanted to see him shirtless.

"Probably not. They asked me to D--"

"Hey Henry, they're waiting for you outside, come on!" The stranger looked my way. "Have I met you before? You look so familiar?"

The chestnut haired, shoulder length, slender girl with bright blue eyes had approached us. The first thing I did out of habit was judge her body. She was skinny, wearing only a bikini top and shorts, with obviously nothing to hide or be ashamed of. Her pencil thin waist made me glad that I wore a concealing outfit. I felt a tightness of jealousy and envy inside.

"I don't think we've met," I said to her with a smile that I hope didn't look as forced as it felt. She held out her hand to me.

"Oh, well hey! I'm Savannah."

"Hi Savannah…" I shook her hand, wishing I'd poof into thin air. Women as skinny as her made me feel so insecure.

"And you are…" Henry supplied to me with an impatient gesture of his hand.

"Oh! I'm Valerie. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too. This is random but your freckles are so freaking cute!" she told me, surprising me. I thought I'd hidden them effectively with my make up.

"Don't compliment her. You might get your head bitten off."

I looked at Henry in surprise over his comments while Savannah laughed.

"I'm sorry. I'm just kidding. If you remember I'm not good at telling jokes," he said to me.

"He's really not. He's horrible," Savannah told me then grabbed Henry's hand.

"Come on Mr. DJ, let's go."

"Good to see you again," he said, holding up his drink up to me in a farewell as Savannah dragged him away. He suddenly stopped, looking at me concernedly while wresting his hand from Savannah, who didn't look too pleased about that. "Oh wait I'm so rude. Can I offer you something to drink?"

I was beginning to learn that Henry's manners were ingrained in him so much he couldn't help himself. It made me smile despite the awkward situation.

"Oh no I'm fine. Good to see you too." I smiled and after nodding, Henry pocketed his free hand this time. If that was a sign for Savannah, she missed it because she linked her arm with his as they left.

Watching them walk away, I realized they made more sense together. She looked like his type.

I soon felt a consoling rub on my back, then a side hug.

"Its okay. There's other fish in the sea." Ella was back at my side, now with a drink in hand.

I knew she was talking about Henry and I didn't want to show how disappointed I was feeling. I just smiled and nodded."Yeah."

"Actually no. I think he would be the best thing you'll never have. Sorry, you're not going to do better than him." She spotted someone she recognized and waved erratically. "Oh! Cheryl!! Aw your hair!"

"Thank you for your honesty, El," I said to myself, then decided to mingle with some people. Eventually we migrated outside where the real fun was starting to happen. There were tents around the pool, and nightlights surrounding the pool as well. The pool itself had floating lamp spheres which made it all the more beautiful. The setting sun added to the beauty with a variety of warm colors hitting everything.

It felt great too outdoors not being too hot or too cold. It was a perfect night.

Small cheering forced my eyes away from the people playing in the pool. I glanced at the small group that congregated around a double deck where Henry stood with huge headphones looped around his neck. In front of him were double turntables. So he was going to be our DJ for the night. The women that surrounded him started impatiently shouting requests at him.

Trying my best to ignore the table of food, I sat under one of the tents. I tried to focus on the entire get together because I loved these kinds of things, but my eyes kept floating back to Henry.

He took the mic and spoke into it, "How are you all doing tonight?"

His voice was gravelly and loud, catching everyone's attention. It sent a shiver down my spine. The response from the crowd was loud due to the good turn out. I couldn't stop the smile on my face. He looked to be in total command of what he was doing and completely fearless. It made me crave for him more, and the strength of the craving surprised me. 

"Are you ready to have a good time?" he asked with boyish charm lighting his eyes and everyone cheered once again in response.

Setting his mic aside, Henry put his headphones on and the heavy bass filled the party once he began playing the music.

It was pure entertainment for the next two hours. His choice of music stuck out to me and surprised me. He played almost every kind of music from different eras and managed to make it all blend together smoothly. Everyone was either dancing around the pool or in the pool and those who couldn't dance bobbed their heads appreciatively.

I was too mesmerized by him as I watched him work. There was something very sexy about this really nice guy playing some very sexy and feel good songs. It was no surprise that he had a good ear for music, but I was surprised he didn't play any of his songs, which were pretty good.

After finding out his full name from Peter, Henry Walker, it wasn't hard for me to find out his discography from the internet. He was a much bigger deal than I thought, especially to be so young. Him owning a home in the Bahamas made more sense now. Very little was about him on the internet though. He seemed to have a tight lid on his personal life, but that wasn't uncommon for most people behind the scenes since the focus wasn't normally on them unless they were attention whores and Henry didn't strike me as one.

Eventually the women begging him to play a song he produced got so much he could no longer ignore them. When he played the song, the entire party went crazy not just because the creator of the music was here, but it was also just a good song by a very popular artist at the time, and this reaction came about whenever it was played at clubs and the like. It was a song that had been in heavy rotation over the past few months. I found myself being very proud of him even if I didn't know him that well.

I think I just really liked the fact that someone so humble, with no ego whatsoever, encased so much talent and was still a gentleman who treated everyone equally. At least from what I'd seen. All kinds of women had gone up to him to make requests and Henry never picked a favorite. It's no wonder women fell for him so easily.

I continued to watch him admiringly throughout the party, even as I mingled with others but it was hard to take my eyes off of him. While interacting with others, I realized I wasn't the only woman checking him out. Many women had their eye on the 'nice', cute, yet quietly sexy British guy, which made me think my thoughts last weekend were justifiable. There were so many women there who I believed were a thousand times better looking than me, and I couldn't stop the thought no matter how hard I tried.

The party ended with everyone in high spirits. Because it had began so early it didn't go into the wee hours of the morning. It was around 11:00 when the beach house began to empty. Most folks were heading home and others decided to go downtown to party more. I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but the beach house was a mess, so I took initiative and started to clean up around the pool while deciding what I was in the mood for. There was a big chance I'd be going home.

I sneaked glances at Henry, who was trying to politely respond to three women hovering him and speaking while he tried to clean up the djing area.

My admiration of him heightened after watching him at work, but I told myself to just leave him be after how I'd messed up last time.

I ended up cleaning up much more than I expected and carried three hefty bags of trash to the kitchen with great effort. As I placed them in a corner of the kitchen, I heard a bunch of ladies giggling and chattering. I turned to find Henry following the three women in with his eqiupment in tow. They walked right through the kitchen and Henry briefly locked eyes with me. I smiled and looked away quickly, returning to focusing on cleaning the kitchen now.

People had left it in a mess.

"Stop, stop stop," I heard moments later when I was bent over picking up beer bottles. The bottle was pilfered from my grasp and as I stood straight I saw Henry taking it.

"What?"

"You've been picking up bottles for the last thirty minutes like a homeless person. Let me take it from here." He took my trash bag, dumping the beer bottle in it.

"I'm basically done. I was going to start on the dish--"

"Sorry. Mother always taught me never let a woman strain herself. I got it. And no, that wasn't a sexist comment. I know you're capable but you've done enough. I'll take it from here."

I smiled at the mention of his mother. He was clearly a mama's boy.

"Samantha, right?" I asked as I  walked up to the black counter connected to the bar. For some reason I was glad it was just the two of us in this messy kitchen and I wanted to stretch the moment as long as possible, so I perched myself on the counter and watched him work. I didn't mind at all. Watching him use his arms was exciting.

"Yeah. I'm surprised you remember. You were so drunk that night," he said with an implicating grin.

"I was not so drunk." I looked around guiltily and he laughed, continuing to pick up the trash.

"So how have you been?" I asked when it got silent.

"I've been fine, thank you for asking. How about you?"

"Oh, I'm great."

"You really are."

"Huh?"

"You really are great." He looked up at me. "Well, only when you allow people visitation rights into your world. What are your business hours?"

I blinked at him dumbly as my cheeks heated. He smiled while piling the trash bag with the rest.

"I'm just being an insensitive git," he said with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry."

"A what?"

"A jerk."

"Oh."

He walked to the island counter where the sink was and began washing the dishes I'd heaped there.This was something I just hadn't expected to see him do. It's not like he hadn't worked hard already, djing and all, but I knew if I fought him now to clean, it would look like I was being difficult again, so I let him be. I knew he must have been exhausted but he didn't look like he minded. I also heard that he did the djing as a favor and didn't want to be paid at all. How that made me swoon, I'm not even sure.

I found him helping clean up to be incredibly cute and rare. I grew up with a housewife of a mom and a father who I rarely saw doing stuff in the house. In fact, my happiest memories with my father were when he was helping me build my playhouse for a weird yet fun neighborhood summer contest. This was before he got obsessed with working again. Even though he just wanted me to win, it was nice to see him doing something around the house. I wasn't used to seeing men in such domestic situations and seeing Henry cleaning up, not putting himself above it, made me really respect him.

It made me think of all that I'd researched online about him and I couldn't help myself.

"Temptation is a pop classic."

He looked at me for a short moment and back at washing the dishes.

"I've heard your songs on the radio and I didn't even know you were the one who made those songs," I continued.

"Really," he said.

"I actually bought some of them too. Before I even met you. She Cares was in my ipod, fully and legally paid for. 1.99 from Itunes." My toothy grin was like that of a proud kid that did their homework.

This made him smile more even as he focused on washing the dishes. I knew we'd broken some ice when he said, "Why thank you. I'm sure it helped me pay for that piece of gum that one day."

I laughed, once again loving his sense of humor.

"You're really actually a big deal in the current state of music. Your career is impressive."

He smiled silently, then shrugged, "It's alright."

"Why do you always get like this about your career?"

"Why do you always get like that about yourself?"

So long for breaking the ice.

My mouth opened but I was mute. I could only smile with chagrin and lower my eyes. "I guess. I deserved that."

"No. You didn't. I'm sorry."

The silence that followed forced me to speak what was niggling the back of my mind.

"Your girlfriend is cute."

"Could've just asked if she was actually my girlfriend," he said with a knowing smile.

"Is she?" at that point there was no trying to hide how jealous I was. And I'd only met the guy once. Ugh.

"Why does it matter?" even though he asked the question without an attitude, it made me pause nonetheless.

I frowned and downcast my eyes, "I'm sorry."

He sighed ruefully. "No, I'm sorry. All these backhanded comments I'm making, that's not me. Believe me, I'm not a spiteful person at all. I just really felt like..." he seemed to be struggling to find the words. "I really fancied you, Valerie."

I shyly glanced up at him to find that he was staring at me earnestly. I blushed.

"Did you not feel like it was all happening faster than the speed of light though?" I asked.

"What did?"

I made a helpless motion with my hands. "This…our…"

"Connection?" he asked, his green eyes piercing. I gulped hard.

"I've never…" my voice tapered off.

"Me too," he said and I was surprised he knew where I was coming from without having to articulate all of it.

I looked back down at my hands.

"Do you always react like you did on the beach when someone tries to court you? Did you react the same way when you were asked out to prom?" he asked and I shook my head with a bitter smile.

"I was never really truly asked to prom."

"Somehow, I find that hard to believe."

"Trust me, it's not. If you knew me back then..." My voice trailed off and when he regarded me curiously, I recoiled and shrugged helplessly.

"You speak in parables," he murmured as he continued to do the dishes.

"Huh?"

"I feel like I'm in a suspense movie with you. You just give me bits and pieces. You don't tell me the whole story."

When I said nothing because I was at a loss for words, he glanced up at me.

"I'm not a bits and pieces kind of guy, Valerie. It's all or nothing with me."

My heart leaped and I looked down, clutching onto the edge of the counter. I didn't know what to say, but his words shook me.

He continued to wash the dishes as he went on. "That was just general information. I know we just met so, I don’t expect you to give me everything. Just it peeves me when people start something they can't finish." 

I guess for some reason I didn't want to be one of those people he thought to be unreliable enough not to finish what the start. So the floodgates of my mouth suddenly opened.

"This guy that I had the biggest crush on, he was the biggest crush I'd ever had, and he knew I liked him, well he asked me to prom. I got ready and excited cause it was the first time a guy wanted to do anything with me publicly but then he never showed up to the house to pick me up at 7:30 like he promised he would and when I went up to him the following Monday to ask him what happened, he asked if I really thought he would ever be caught dead around me. Then him and his friends laughed and one of them made a comment about the letter I gave him earlier that semester saying that I liked him."

Midway through what I was saying, Henry paused from washing the dishes to look at me intently. I suddenly realized what I'd done and what I'd said. I knew what was coming was a 'why? what was wrong with you? why wouldn't he want to be seen around you? why did his friends laugh at your letter?' I didn't want to get into all of that. Plus, it was highschool. I didn't want him to think I was some weirdo that was still affected by the trials of highschool.

"But, you know, we were just kids," I said with a forced laugh. "You know how kids play around." I broke eye contact when I saw that he wasn't laughing with me.

"No he was just being an inconsiderate fucktard." Henry said, looking rather bothered. I didn't really know what to say. I was confused as to why he wasn't automatically trying to find some fault with me over why the guy would treat me like that.

"He never even told you he wasn't coming? He didn't even call?" his eyebrows were drawn together in the way I found incredibly sexy and his eyes were so penetrating I nearly forgot to speak for a second.

"No but it's fine I had fun at home anyway." I remembered playing with my little 7 year old sister, babysitting her and urging my mother to go on a girl's night out instead of sitting home engorging a tab of ice-cream with me.

He looked very miffed and his reaction was making me nervous cause I'd never really experienced it, especially from a guy. I normally got strange or 'well….' stares, but I knew the difference between telling others and Henry was cause I hadn't told him everything about me. I tried to change the subject before he asked more questions that would lead me down a darker path of my past. I didn't want to bog him down with my issues yet at the same time I wanted him to understand.

"Are you still mad at me for last time? I'm really sorry."

He eyed me silenlty, his eyes saying the conversation was not over, but I was lucky when he went along with the subject change, continuing to wash. "No. You had quite a few to drink and you're right, it's the first time we met. I guess I just really enjoyed myself and wanted more of that." He looked at me briefly before continuing on. I heard what he was saying but it was just hard to compute. My stubbornness only allowed me to see that men were incapable of just wanting to pursue an emotional connection.

"And did I want to have sex with you?" He went on. "Of course. It's only natural because I find you physically attractive." He looked up at me and I shifted nervously, looking away. "But just because I do, or did, doesn't mean I'm objectifying you or think that's all you have to offer. You're a good conversationalist. If all you wanted to do was talk for the rest of your life, I'd be okay with just that."

Stubbornness aside, I had to quit doing this.  I remembered how annoyed Ella got with me when we were driving back home.

"I'm sorry for assuming the worst. It's a real problem of mine and I'm working on it."

"It's okay. We all do it sometimes. "

I really appreciated that he was nice and comforting even when he didn't have to be. I fought off the negative thought that was soon following when I branded him 'nice'. He was now wiping down the island counter top, wearing the focused look once again that made me subconsciously cross my legs when I felt a delicious ache. I finally accepted that his 'concentration' look would always do something to me. He had nice broad shoulders and those arms…

He lifted his gaze and I jumped like a fool, glancing away. How fucking great, huh? When I finally gained the courage to look at him again, he was focused on cleaning the counter, but now there was a smirk on his face. I silently cursed him.

The silence began to get too loud, only making me feel more awkward.

"So how do you come up with all those melodies? I'm still in shock over the songs you've produced. You're actually a big time song writer too, right? In fact I think you write more than you produce."

Henry simply looked at me with a small smile on his face and I trembled inside. As opposed to his sweet smile, there was something in his eyes though that made my toes tingle. Something hibernating. Something slightly devilish and mischievous. I'd seen it when we were seated across from each other at Seaburger.

He said nothing and washed his hands in the sink when he was done.

"I think out of most of the popular ones you've done, Timeline was my favorite. You've actually won so many awards and uh…" My voice tapered off because Henry started to look at my lips with deep concentration, his brows knotting, all as he dried his hands with the kitchen towel. He rounded the counter and started making his way over to me slowly, still drying his hands. His eyes were still on my lips as he suddenly rubbed his plump bottom lip with an inscrutable look on his face.

My heart rate spiked and my palms became sweaty.

"Uh…a-and I liked the one you did with that artist Bridget. What was it like working with he--"

"Give me your lips."

I was caught off guard and didn't know what to say. He wasn't giving me much room to decide anyway, he kept on walking to me, making me anxious and…excited.

"Huh?" I laughed nervously and hopped off the counter when he got close and tossed the towel on the counter beside me. "Uh--wait, we were talking about your musi--"

He grabbed the sides of my stomach and let out a straining grunt as he lifted me the short distance to sit be back on the counter. The movement was so sudden and swift my thighs slapped against the marble. As I reeled in shock over the fact that he had all that strength in him to carry me, he cupped my face and kissed me before I could do anything else. I froze. This time he didn't wait for me to acclimate myself to the kiss. He slipped his warm tongue in between my lips, groaning deeply as he caressed my tongue with his.

I felt myself dizzying. He kissed me with so much passion; so much want. Just as the thought crossed my mind, I began to feel confused and a little bit panicked. Those monsters that hibernated deep in my soul crawled their way out and began to mar this good feeling he was giving me. I was paralyzed though and didn't do anything about it. I just sat there and let him have his way.

I had only kissed two other people in my life, so I wasn't an expert. I didn't have much time to think about what to do or how to do it because he was taking me by storm. I realized that he was working to get a reaction out of me when he tilted my head further back and began slowly thrusting his tongue in and out of my mouth.

My fingers clung tightly, crackling around the edge of the counter as a billion sensations went through me. My nipples were aching having tightened and I felt a delicious twinge between my legs.

Fuck.

"Henry the girl you came with--" I managed to come up for air only a second.

"Shhhh."

He reclaimed my lips and I got lost in the kiss again. Wasn't he worried that someone would come and see him?

I didn’t know what to say and Henry chose then to continue kissing me like his life depended on it. I was so gone, far, far away. His hands circled my neck, the smoothed over my shoulder and arms. When they ran down my hips, I froze. I didn't like my thighs, but the effect Henry had on me didn't give me time to worry about my imperfections.

"Hmm," he kissed me then titled his head to the other side and kissed me again. "It seems like," He kissed me again. "I can't seem to get enough of these lips."

He trapped my bottom lip in his teeth and began sucking it off lightly before claiming both my lips and sliding his tongue into me again.

I moaned and fell right into the kiss.

I couldn't fight this guy.

"Mm," He  moaned as he pulled me closer to him and left his hands on my thighs, massaging them. "So good."

I was a shaking, blushing mess. "I-I'm sorry I don't have much experie--"

"Shhh." He continued to kiss me gently and unhurriedly.

I was shuttering inside but somehow managed to lift my hands because the need to touch him became very strong. My hands were clamped around his hard arms, which flexed as he ran them up and down my thighs, stopping for an occasional squeeze. I shivered. Without warning when squeezing the side of my thighs, he yanked me closer to him until his groin was rubbing the sensitive area between my thighs. I felt his hardness against me.

I hated to use the term melted, but that's what I did.

Henry moaned iwhen I started kissing him back, my staple hesitation surprisingly abating from me. I got so bold that my hands trailed up to his biceps, then his broad, strong shoulders. I squeezed the firmness and sighed while kissing him. My hands then travelled to his strong neck, and then his angular jaw. I got wetter just from touching him.

My fingers soon traveled to his locks. They were an interesting contrast to his hard body; soft and lush against my fingers. They felt softer than they appeared, if that made sense. I unthinkingly removed his beanie, letting it fall to the floor, when the need to feel more of him became stronger. Now with his head in my hands, I pushed him closer so that we could kiss each other deeper.

This being a clear sign that I'd let one wall down for him, Henry wrapped his muscular arms around me, the action causing our chests to press firmly against one another. I could have fainted from how turned on and excited he made me. his scent, the feeling of him, the taste of his mouth, it was all so perfect.

"Umm…uh Henry? Henry?"

I jumped away from Henry but he kept trying to kiss me. When I angled furtherback, he finally stopped, breathing heavily as he looked down at me. I turned to the source of sound to find Savannah watching us in something between shock and annoyance.

"I'm sorry to interrupt Henry but you're my ride and I really have to go," she murmured monotonously, trying her best not to show her irritation but failing miserably. She was beginning to frown too.

Henry stared dumbly at her as if he couldn't understand the language she was speaking. All the while his arms never eased their strong hold around my waist. I sat there trying to ease him off me but he wouldn't give, as if afraid that .

Finally her words dawned on him and he nodded and looked at me once again. I was about to try climbing the nearby cabinet to get away from him. He wouldn't let go! Couldn't he take a clue?! She was obviously pissed and he was still holding on!

When she didn't leave, Henry turned to her and forced a sweet smile. "I'll be right there Savannah. I need a minute.

She seemed taken aback and stubbornly lingered. I could have sworn she was about to ask us what else we were going to do, but she thankfully ended up exiting the kitchen, trying not to stomp her feet.

"You should probably go after her," I told him when he tried to start kissing me again.

"Why?"

"Did you come here as her date?"

"No. I gave her a lift here."

I still wasn't sure and he must have noticed from the look on my face. 

"She has a boyfriend, Valerie, that's why I'm not taking her advances to heart. I wouldn't play with someone's emotions like that ever again." The word 'again' made me wonder if he'd broken someone's heart before. Nice guys could be heartbreakers too, even sometimes moreso than bad boys because they easily made everyone fall in love with them with their actions often mistaken for something else. At least with bad boys what you saw was what you got.

It's no doubt in my mind even after watching him tonight Henry had the charm to drop the pants off of any person and he was really good at flirting. I couldn't keep up with how many women he had giggling--even when he wasn't trying too hard. 

I then remembered Ella asking me to try and decided not to think too deeply about all this. We were just having fun after all. I was acting like I wanted a relationship and I'd just met the guy. Also the disappointment on his face made me feel bad.

The honesty on his face made me nod with the decision to trust him for now. To be completely honest I wasn't sure why he chose to kiss me when he already knew how difficult I could be.

I didn't want him to feel like he was the only one putting up the effort, so it surprised him when I kissed him languidly. He was smirking when we pulled back. 

"What time is it?" I asked quietly.

A slow grin spread on his face as he pulled out his phone, and I knew he was glad that I was trying to come around, at least even a little bit.

"12:04."

"My new favorite time of the day," I said and we shared a secret smile. This time and favorite moments was our thing, it seemed.

I gave him a farewell kiss on his dimpled cheek and he searched my face before adding, "This isn't over, you know that, right?"

I knew it. I think I knew it wasn’t over last time either. I just had a feeling about this guy.

"Your number," he said as he punched through his phone.

The finality in his tone showed me that he wasn't going to take no for an answer or play the coy immature game I played last time. The tone told me this done deal was something I shouldn't try to fight.

Now I understood the reason for that 'light' he had in his eyes when we were at Sea Burger and the one that sprang up when he looked at me from the counter. At that point, he'd just been playing nice. Now he'd let the lion out of its 'nice guy' cage and he was on the prowl to get what he wanted and he wanted me.

The thought was daunting but flattering.

"415-777…"  I found myself saying.

The last time I gave a guy my number things didn't really end well but I tried not to think too much of it.

"Do you have your phone on you?" he asked.

"I left my purse in the car. My phone's in my purse."

"This had better be your number, Valerie," he said as he stashed his phone in his back pocket.

I was about to sigh and tell him to say my name again but I told myself to get a fucking grip.

I gulped hard and nodded only for him to trap my chin in my fingers and kiss me lightly. When he pulled back, our lips were so close they rubbed together when he spoke.

"I'm going to make you mine pretty soon. And I hope you are ready when we get to that point."

With that said, Henry left the kitchen.

I sat there mind blown, just wondering what the fuck, and so terribly turned on I was afraid to walk on my shaky legs.

I was way passed royally fucked now.

I was done for.

When I finally regained my composure, I got off the counter and realized we'd left his beanie on the floor. I was astounded by what I did. And here I'd sworn I'd never openly kiss another man and feel desirable while doing so.

I picked up the beanie and curiosity made me inhale it. The smell of apples surprised me but it was extremely comforting and brought a silly smile on my face.

I was smelling the beanie again when Ella stumbled in and stopped in her tracks. We looked at each other for a few awkward beats.

"Isn't that Henry's? You creep! You turn a guy down and then you sniff his belongings after he leaves?" she sighed heavily and went towards the fridge. "We really need to assign you a new therapist Valerie. I'm soooo over your shit!"

"I gave him my phone number," I blurted out, unable to hide it. Ella whipped around, staring at me ogle eyed as though she'd just heard the most impossible thing on earth.

"What?"

I hid my smile and lip bite behind the beanie. My toes curled when I thought of what we'd just done and I felt fuzzy and warm inside. I nearly started tap dancing right there in the kitchen. So this is what 'letting go' was like. Deep down I still had my inhibitions, my doubts, my insecurities and queries about Henry, but I was trying really hard to suppress those emotions.

I just wanted to welcome all this goodness he was making me feel. Though I wouldn’t lie to myself that it was happening so fast, these feelings. Who knew when they'd fizzle out?

I did what he said on the beach about living in the morning, enjoying the hell out of this 'I'm finally desired by a guy I actually like too' phase I was going through.

"I gave him my phone number and we kissed."I blushed, looking down at the beanie as I twisted it nervously in my hands. "Like really, really kissed. Like really, really, really kissed."

Ella was gaping at me and surprised me when she suddenly fell to her knees with her hands outstretched to the heavens.

"THERE IS A GOD!!!" she cried with her eyes closed and I burst out laughing, going over to her and forcing her back on her feet.

"You are so dramatic!"

"This is a big fucking deal! Don't steal my happy, okay?!"

"Okay."

By the genuine smile on my face she smiled back and we had a moment where I'm sure like me, she was having flashbacks of the past. She knew what I'd been through, hell what she'd been through with me, and she knew how grand this situation was, so she threw her arms around me.

"Ahhhhh!!!"

I laughed and hugged her back.

I tried to drown all those mental and emotional demons gunning after me.

I forced myself to enjoy the moment and leave that negativity out.

Chapter 5

"I haven't seen him since Margaret's gathering. We've just been texting cause he's been busy."

I said to Ella as I walked to the stove with my cutting board of cubed chicken for the quesadillas I was making for our dinner.

It had only been three days since I'd last seen Henry. I'd expected a call the day after our kiss, but didn't get it.

I didn't even get a text, so initially I was let down once again, thinking I was a girl of the moment, but I made no mention of it to anyone. I tried not to think about it too much as I had to get refocused on work before I got fired, and also looking for another job. 

The day after, he sent me a text. I only knew it was him because he texted 'Hello Valerie', and he was the only person that called me by my full name other than my father. Dad had never sent me one text and whenever we spoke to each other the conversation never began with a 'hello' neither were goodbyes said, and the subject was normally related to businesses.

That day in particular my father had upset me. I tried to dive back into work and he ripped into my coding, which I felt was payback for my slip up last week. When it happened I wanted to suck it up and take it in stride, but I was so frustrated and unmindfully sent Henry a text telling him how fucked up my day was without really divulging what happened. Everytime I talked about my issues with my father, I came out incoherent, so I didn't bother mentioning that he was the source of my troubles.

I was eating almonds for lunch, having lost my appetite with how roughly my father degraded me when I received a text from Henry. It was a picture of a cat pushing another cat down the stairs when the cat was trying to take a peek below. It made me laugh and I scrolled down to read his accompanying message.

Henry: I hope that made you laugh (unless you have a real dry sense of humor and have an abnormal devotion towards cats). Sorry about your day, can't talk much now, but we will talk later.

My day got turned around instantly and when my dad walked by later in the day and saw me in cheerful spirits, he was taken aback but made no other mention of it. I made it a note to myself to rely on myself to make myself happier next time, but I definitely appreciated how much better Henry's text made me feel.

Now, Ella grinned as she poured us drinks. "I'm so happy you took his number. Peter's told me he talks about you a lot."

I tried so hard not to blush and failed, but deep down I also felt a bit uneasy. Is that why he hadn't called the day after we kissed? I still found Peter's behavior when I went to Margaret's weird. I had a feeling Ella contacted him before we got there and pleaded with him not to give me a hard time.

I also wondered how much Peter told Henry about me when I wasn't there. Ella could control the way he treated me, but Peter and Henry were friends on their own accord. Who knows what he'd told him? Especially about my past?

Ella and Peter had gotten into a huge fight in the past over him blabbing my business to a guy that tried to talk to me that I turned down, and ever since then he seemed to keep a tight lid on my business. He didn't know too much anyway. Peter and Ella had only been dating a year and he hadn't known me when the huge change in my life occurred.

Truthfully Ella was the only person that could give anyone a detailed account on my past because while we lived in different places, we spent most of our summers together. Her being the only child and me not really having that many friends made room for our close friendship.

I tried hard not to overthink things. Henry didn't say anything that implied he knew too much about my past. The texts were always pretty tame whenever we spoke.

I got done eating dinner first and Ella cringed at me. "That's all you're eating? You only ate half of your quesadilla!"

This was why I preferred to eat alone. Sometimes Ella got a bit nitpicky with what I chose to eat or how I ate. I had a very strict diet and counted calories, having to keep on a rigid one especially after how I'd slipped up at Seaburger.

"I had something on the way home," I lied to try and get her off my back.

Luckily Ella didn't nag me about it and offered to do the dishes.

Grateful that she left the subject alone, I retired to my room.

While in the shower, I tried to keep my mind on track about tomorrow and the new project we'd be starting at work, but my thoughts kept going back to Henry.

I was a big dreamer because ever since I was little, I had to use my imagination. Not having many boyfriends while being a hopeless (nope i won't say romantic), forced me to do so. As I got older I tried to keep my fantasizing in check and I hadn't really since an incident that changed my life, but Henry was making me become a dreamer again.

Now as I stood under the shower I imagined those green orbs staring at me, that hibernating mischief in his eyes as he pushed me up against the wall and…

Then the dream deflated when the image of my body came to mind and I huffed in frustration, showering quickly without looking at myself and getting out of the shower.

I couldn't stop thinking about him, wondering about our kiss and touching my lips thoughtfully, still feeling him sucking and nipping my lips hungrily.

Laying on my back on the bed, I picked up my favorite video game magazine from my nightstand This was the one thing that could always zap me out of my fantasies no matter what. All the character designs took my breath away as much as they did when I was a teenager. As I read the latest issue on the depressing sales of video games for the second quarter of the year, my cell phone rang.

When I saw the letter H lit at the center of my phone, I grinned big, took a deep breath, and answered the phone, siting cross legged at the center of my bed.

"Hey!"

"Hello Valerie."

I bit my bottom lip when the smooth baritone spoke through the phone. This was the first time I was talking to Henry on the phone. I suddenly felt very shy and a bit confused. Nice guys weren't supposed to be intimidating?  Maybe he wasn't as nice as I thought? I don't know.

"How are you?" I asked, trying to keep my cool.

"Good. Just got to my hotel, back from a workshop. It was a good one."

He sounded exhausted. Adorably exhausted. His voice was raspier than usual.

"A workshop?"

"Songwriting workshop."

"You still go for songwriting workshops?" I asked, biting my giddily smiling lip. His voice was making me want to climb the walls and everything.

"Yep. Have to stay on top of my game," he said. "Your day get any better?"

"Oh yeah." I laughed nervously, sounding like a damn fool. Where was all that bravado I had at Seaburger? Oh, it was two Painkillers away, that's where. "Especially after that picture you sent me."

"That cat's amazing, init? Cheeky little thing, that cat is."

"I like the way you talk," I blurted, then winced at how ignorant I sounded.

He chuckled and said observantly. "You like the way I talk…" 

"Yes."

"Why thank you."

"So what exactly happens at those workshops?" I asked next when an awkward silence began. Why wasn't he talking and why did I get the feeling he was smirking the entire time? But Henry rarely smirked. He was the sweet smiling type so I'm not sure where all these thoughts and vibes were coming from.

Finally, Henry responded. He spent the next few minutes explaining what songwriting workshops were to me. I was surprised that someone as accomplished would still take it back to the basics from time to time, but that showed me his humility. Even though he was currently one of the big producers in popular music, he still felt his humble beginnings were important.

He was making my heart sing too loudly.

"That sounds really interesting," I said as I hugged my bare legs close to me, deciding I could listen to him all night.

"It's alright," he said in his unhurried voice. "One of my mentors runs the workshop I went to, so it was really good to see him again after a while."

"That's pretty cool that you still keep in touch with him."

"He's a good mate, a good man. So tell me why you had a bad day?"

The sexiness of his raspy voice was making me lose my freaking mind.

"Oh I was just being dramatic." I waved off but with a nervous laugh. "The work load my father has put on me has become a bit stressful."

"You work for your father?"

I realized I'd never told him this and I groaned with a roll of my eyes. "Yes. Don't get me started on him."

"Are you and him not close?"

"I mean I love my dad, we just have different opinions. He's a very hard worker so he expects the best from everyone at all times." I was about to say it put lots of pressure on me, especially when I hated the profession, but didn't want to come off whiny. Hell, I was surprised he still wanted to kiss me after how I acted the first night we met.

"I see," he said thoughtfully.

"Yeah…" I didn't know what else to say and it became a bit quiet.

"You're probably wondering why I called, yeah?" he asked.

"A little bit," I said with a small smile.

"I like your voice."

My cheeks became scorching hot and I bit my bottom lip.

"Was that corny too?" He asked and I could hear his smile.

"Yes but it was nice. I like yours too. Do you get that a lot? That you have a nice, unique voice?"

"I've gotten that I have a creepy voice for the most part," he quipped and I laughed.

"What are you wearing?" I asked randomly unable to help myself. This time the loud laughter that cannoned out of him was loud. It hit me hard, pleasantly so.

"Umm..I'm in a tank top and jeans. I just took my shoes off. And I got a beanie on."

"Oh god…" I murmured, feeling hot all over. I'd taken a liking to beanies now all because of him.

"What? Do I sound hideous? Should I have said i'm wearing nothing? I can strip now if you want."

"You are silly. You sound gorgeous, trust me. Speaking of beanies, I have yours. I'll return it I promise."

At least it gave me an excuse to see him again.

"You can return it tomorrow. I'm making bangers and mash. Don't ask, it's a British thing. I want you and Ella to come. I did say I would cook for you didn't I?"

I let out a soundless scream while flopping back onto the bed, feeling more excitement than I ever thought I could.

"Of course I'd love to come!" so long for trying to sound cool and reserved. I cleared my throat and tried a more reserved approach. "I mean, yeah sure that would be nice."

He laughed at my obvious attempt at hiding how excited I was to see him again.

"Well you take care, and if you ever want to talk about work just let me know."

"Thank you! You too. Like if work ever bugs you or something."

His throaty laugh sent shivers down my spine. "Trust me, you don't want me to start talking. I'm known to give massively long, detail-oriented, boring stori--hey!!!"

He stopped when I started to snore loudly and I laughed at his reaction.

"That was good." I could hear the smile in his voice. "I look forward to more. Have a good night, Valerie."

"You too, Henry."

I hang up with the biggest smile on my face that night.

And just when I the thought crossed my minds, the demons from my past raced to the forefront and reeled me back to reality.

But not for long, because I drifted off into sleep daydreaming about Henry anyway.

Chapter 6

I was just leaving my car, walking to Earldet building when Henry popped in my mind. I went to sleep with a smile on my face and woke up feeling less heavy hearted and stressed than usual.

It was there an hour earlier than my reporting time because I wanted to show my father that I was capable of doing a good job. I wanted to look over the research I'd compiled for the project, which I'd discuss with my team later on in the day.

When I was at my cubicle I focused on my work for about thirty minutes with Henry racking my brain the entire time. I finally gave in and sent him a spontaneous text, though I regretted it soon after cause it was really early.

Valerie: Good morning

I was surprised when the response came instantly.

Henry: Lol morning

Valerie: Wth??

Henry: I bet you didn't think I'd be awake, did yah ;-)

Valerie: Why are you awake so early?

Henry: Kickboxing

Valerie: Nice ;-)

Henry: Did I get a cheeky wink?

Valerie: ;-) ;-)

Henry: Is there something in your eye miss?

Valerie: Lmao :-(

Henry: Aww i'm sorry. Here, let me make it better…

He sent me another funny picture of a cat, this time the one of the grumpy cat meme with the caption 'NO'. I smiled.

Valerie: :-|. I was waiting for the kiss smiley and you send me that!! thanks though i loved it :-D

Henry: Ah ha, so you can't wait to kiss me again either…;-) ;-) ;-)

Valerie: :-D

I was grinning like such a fool and jumped when one of my earlybird coworkers said hello. I had to set my phone down to talk to her for what I thought would be a minute but ended up thirty entire minutes. I couldn't get her to leave fast enough but she brought up something integral to the project so I entertained the conversation until we were done. Just when I wanted to get back on the phone, a work load came up that had me focused on work for the next two hours.

I finally had time to be on my phone when everyone had shown up and was working.

Valerie: Work is kicking my ass I texted him, unable to stop myself from talking to him.

Henry: I would ask what you're doing, but I'm a complete bimbo in anything to do with software development.

Valerie: LOL, it's cool. So how long have you done kickboxing?

Henry: 9 years.

Valerie: wow! ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)

Henry: You should come with me one day...

Henry: ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)

At that moment, the phone I was grinning so foolishly at in my hands got snatched away from me.

"In my office, now!" My father roared throughout the relatively quiet room. I stared at my empty hands in surprise, my emotions doing a complete one eighty and the huge smile on my face dropping. When I looked up I found that Dad didn't wait for me to react and was already heading to the elevator. What self respecting CEO snooped on his children at work? Was he really that bored with his life?

Twisting my mouth in irritation, I got up and followed him rigidly, already. I wasn't even that embarrassed. He'd done this so many times I was accustomed to being publicly shamed by him.

The elevator doors parted open to reveal relaxed employees who tensed once Don Jones appeared. They were all suddenly attentive, standing upright. A number of hellos swept through the elevator as he stepped in. Dad acknowledged them all in his usual way: with respect but also distance. My father wasn't the loving, friendly CEO type. Though his company had a great reputation in the industry with the greatest benefits one could ask for. He was competing with companies run by younger people who reportedly gave their employees nap time and allowed them to dress casually Monday through Thursday. While he couldn't be the hip young CEO that came up with a social network that let his employees take naps, the good benefits were something that set him apart from the rest.

When we were in the elevator, Dad looked through my phone and my jaw went slack as I stared at him. An incensed, unintelligible sound shot up my throat but I bit my lip and said nothing, folding my arms to keep me from snatching it from him. We gained a few curious stares but they were all wise enough to stay mute.

When we finally got my father's quiet floor, my father asked in a curious  yet furious voice that outraged me.

"Who the hell is Henry?" Dad asked in bewilderment. The question made it seem like it was so absurd that I would be talking to a guy outside of the workforce in the first place. "And what the hell does he mean co…" He obviously couldn't say the word. "What is this?!?"

"Are you fucking kidding me dad?! That's a violation of my privacy and I don't care if you're my father or not. What do you care anyway?" I asked angrily and started for his office, hands balled in tight fists. "You're the one who told me no one would ever want to marry me any way if I didn't change."

"Don't you raise your voice at me," he warned from behind me and I rolled my eyes and made a face.

"Don't you raise your voice at me," I mimicked in a whiney tone and walked faster cause I could feel him shooting daggers at me. If I were younger I'd have been popped in the head by now.

"Young lady, don't cross me."

"Hey Valerie," his soft spoken, elderly secretary Heather greeted but her smile dropped as did her eyes to her desk when she saw me and my father's expression.

When in his office, he closed the door, pointing my phone at me. "How many chances do I have to keep giving you before I let you go?"

"Don't ever look through my phone again! That's a violation of my privacy! I don't care if your my father or not!" I repeated my earlier words combatively.

"I only saw it because you were openly texting at work which as I've told you many times before is a violation of our policy. You don't like our rules, get out--" He cut himself off when the phone sounded that another text had been received.

He held it out of my reach when I tried to grab it.

"No texting while on the job. You haven't even gotten anything done today and you're sitting there texting.What impression does that leave my other workers? That I don't respect them and give my dear daughter special treatment-"

"HEY EVERYBODY!!! DADDY DOESN'T GIVE VALERIE SPECIAL TREATMENT!! DO YOU HEAR ME??!!?!?!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, making my father bug eyed.

"Are you mental?!?!" Dad asked in disbelief. Another text was received on my phone.

"Give me my phone!"

"Sit your butt down in that chair right now!"

Another text came and the warning look in my father's eyes told me I had no choice.

I huffed and stomped to the lounge area in his expansive office. As I sat down heavily, another text came and my father looked at my phone.

"DADDY STOP!!"

"Lower your voice!" he ordered as he surprised me, turning the device off without further reading my texts.

As I sat fuming, my father sat on the sofa across from me.

"How many chances do I have to keep giving you before I kick you out?"

"I think you're dying to kick me out. Why can't you just write me up like you do everyone else? Why are you so fucking uptight?"

"Language." His eyes were narrowed drably.

"Why Daddy? Why can't you just chill--"

"You children. Like chilling is what got me to where I am. Do you realize how lucky you are to have the life you have? Do you know how much sacrifice…"

The next ten minutes were filled with lectures of what an ungrateful brat I was and basically how I should be kissing the ground my father walks on. A few threats here and there were thrown in of my imminent termination.

"Are you done?" I asked impatiently when he was done talking.

"Yes. But you can only get your phone back at lunch."

"Dad!!!"

"Mr. Jones."

I sighed sharply and stood up with a roll for my eyes, fretfully going to the door.

"Wait!"

"What?!" I asked aggravatedly at the door.  

"Make sure he is treating you right. You don't want a man who sends you suggestive innuendos, especially in a text. That means he has no respect for you." My father struggled to say, awkwardly forcing the words out of his mouth and finding it hard to look at me.

"Also…" He stood up, pocketing his hands and avoiding eye contact before going on. "Be careful."

I blinked at my father in surprise. He'd only given me this advice once before and that's when I thought I was invited to prom.

My gaping mouth widened and morphed into a surprised smile.

"You care about me!" I accused in surprise, slowly advancing back to the room. He cleared his throat uncomfortably as he walked to his desk.

"I want you back on that floor and back to work. Do I make myself clear? You need to stop talking to this boy! He is distracting you from your successful future. Now go work and write him off from your life this instant!"

This was all so comical to me, how he was grasping at straws to be militant as usual. He'd already let his usually hidden concern slip through the cracks. I followed him and stood across from his desk, where he occupied his beloved leather CEO chair.

"You love me, dad." I couldn't hide my teasing smile.

"It's Mr. Jones at work," he said tightly, never once looking at me, flipping indignantly through some books. I wanted to hear what he'd say. Strange enough, my father had never said those words to me. I mean my mother told me he said it once when I was a baby, but obviously I couldn't remember.

"Admit it. You actually care about me," I taunted.

"If you keep up with the games, Valerie, I'm cutting your salary down less than half."

I was out of that office so fast my had was spinning.

Right before lunch, Heather brought my cell phone to me and I turned it on urgently. I was pleased to find that Dad really hadn't read anymore messages of mine. For all his ways, he was truly a man of his word.  As I read Henry's texts, I broke into a fit of laughter, all the while feeling bad.

Henry: …

Henry: …Valerie….

Henry: …Valerie?

Henry: Wait…did I upset you?

Henry: I just reread the message and I see how it looks…

Henry: Trust me, It's not what it looks like. I promise you, that was not meant to be a rude joke…..

Henry: and by 'rude' I mean suggestive. it's how we say 'dirty' in Britain, just in case you were wondering.

Henry: Valerie?! Talk to meee

Henry: PLEEEASE?!?!?!

Henry: I don't think you're cheap or a whore I swear.

Henry: You know if anything this is all your fault. Your silence turned it into a dirty joke. I didn't even think of it being rude until you didn't say anything.

Henry: Okay I guess I did upset you. I'm sorry…

With my back against the elevator wall, I was looking up at the ceiling laughing with my hand over my mouth. I felt horrible. I began punching the keys to text him back, wearing the biggest grin on my face.

Valerie: omg you'll never believe what just happened! I'm so sorry! My dad took my phone from me cause I was paying too much attention to my texts. then guess what he sees?! 'you should come with me some time ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)' lmao.

Henry: Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. …

Valerie: rotflmao henry stop

Henry:  :-( so I'm basically a dead man
 
Valerie: LOL he isn't about to do shit. you are not making him lose money so he isn't going to do shit

Henry: Was he mad?

Valerie: nah and who cares if he's mad i'm freaking 26.

Henry: Bloody hell. Do you know what you put me through this morning?! I know we just met but I couldn't stand the thought of you being upset with me

This tugged at my heart strings and made me smile.

Valerie: I think you are the type who it would be very hard to get mad at.

Henry: why does everyone say that lol

Valerie: because you are such a sweet person. You wouldn't even hurt a fly. Okay, got to go. My team mates and I are having a discussion about our project over lunch. I hope you had a good kickboxing session ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)

Henry: Okay. Lol. Take care.

***

Henry answered the door and instantly took my breath away. His tousled hair was pushed back with a few strands fallen over his forehead. He had on a loosely tucked in, denim shirt, unbuttoned till his diaphragm and rolled up to his elbows. Darker colored jeans concealed his long legs down to worn brown boots. As beautiful as he was,  the one thing that caught my eye was the peach colored apron ruffled at the edges, with an assortment of brightly colored flowers across the front.

Here was this tall glass of man with a flowery material around his waist.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

A hand suddenly pointed at it and I looked up to find Peter sticking his head into the door frame.

"This is his, not mine," Peter warned urgently and Ella let out a sigh of relief that made us all laugh.

"Hey!"Henry pretend to be offended but with a smile on his face that made my heart flutter.

"You're lucky you're good looking," She said as she pinched his dimpled cheek and gave him a hug.

"You like it?" Henry asked me with a goofy open mouth smile and his arms outward while he stepped back to let me in. This tidbit once again showed me how Henry didn't take himself too seriously. Sometimes men were too stiff in their roles of being men.

"I love it," I assured him as I gave him a hug. And wow, he gave the best hugs. I didn't want to let go.

"Good. That's all that matters." He said as he squeezed me in the hug.

"Eww!!" I pulled back and he laughed.

"Come on, that wasn't that bad," he tried to reason.

Once in the house I was immediately wrapped up by a heavenly aroma that heightened my hunger. I even got a bit lightheaded because I hadn't really eaten that much that day and I was bone tired from an extra hour of cardio in the gym.

So in addition to being a successful producer, Henry could cook too. His bangers and mash were amazing. Why did he have to make me fall for him more? He could cook way more than I could. I'd learned from Ella, and that wasn't much.

I was brought up to focus more on having straight A's, coding my ass out, and planning for a successful career path rather than how to be the domestic caretaker.

"That's it?" Henry asked when I got up to put my plate in the sink. Everyone else got seconds.

"I want to carry my seconds home," I evaded his question and cleared my plate in the sink. 

"Mhmm," Peter murmured when my back was to him and I soon heard an 'ow!'. I looked over my shoulder to see that Ella had probably kicked him under the table cause he was hunched down, returning her scowl.

She saw me looking and quickly smiled, then turned to Henry. I found her behavior weird, but I just turned back around and finished washing my dish.

"Henry, you need to teach this lazy bum how to cook. He can't do anything," I heard Ella complaining.

"Look, most men don't cook," Peter defended himself.

I was back at the table with them now.

"That's a good stereotype," Henry said blandly. Even the way he said that was sexy. Everything this guy did in my opinion was sexy. He was making me lose my mind.

"Well, some stereotypes are true," I pointed out, trying to stay on track. "I've not met that many men that can cook. My father and my brother never cooked."

"Amen, Val," Peter said, holding up his bottled water to me.

"You have a brother," Henry said as he analyzed me, and I tried hard not to become fixated on his lips. I wanted to suck on the fuller bottom lip like I had last time. Suddenly I felt hot and bothered and tried to stay focused.

"Don't worry, he's harmless," Peter interjected before I could respond. "You can still get your mack on. Ow!!"

Ella kicked him under the table again. Henry only shook his head at him but didn't respond. I knew my cheeks were bright pink and my fingers tingled. I'd never been in a situation like this before.

"I guess it depends," Henry sat back, rubbing his hands over his jean-clad thighs while looking at us. I unhurriedly trailed my eyes down his body. I noticed a new tattoo I hadn't seen before in cursive writing on the left side of his strong, virile neck. I normally didn't like men who were over marked with tattoos but they just worked for him. My mouth watered as I lowered my gaze to his exposed collarbone and down his chest, where his silver pendant lay. Staring at the little I could see of his chest, I concluded it was no doubt he took working out seriously. Was it the kickboxing?

He made a motion with his hands and I looked at them, captivated by their size. I was intrigued by the black bracelette he had on one wrist, wondering what was inscribed on it. What got me more was th network of veins protruding up his forearm. The sight began to build a pool between my thighs. What the fuck was happening to me around this guy?

Curiously I continued down till my eyes met with his groin. My cheeks become warm, and I quickly flittered my eyes down to his long legs. I took a much needed gulp of wine as plenty thoughts raided my mind. I wanted to climb on top of him at that moment just to see what he felt like. Thankfully when he spoke he dragged me back to reality.

"I had no choice but to learn how to cook," Henry continued. "I had to take care of my younger siblings cause Mom was always working."

It's no secret that his loyalty to his mother was a huge portion of his life.

"How many siblings do you have?" I asked him.

"Two. A little sister and brother. You?"

I set my wine glass down. "A geriatric older brother and a younger sister. And…yeah." My heart was thumping in my chest. Ella and I shared a passing glance but tried not to make it obvious. She looked a bit surprised. It's just talking to Henry always made me conflicted because I didn't like lying to him. I felt this way even though I'd just met him, but I truly felt so comfortable around him like I'd known him for years, I wanted to tell him things I never told most people.

"The middle child," he said with a small smile and I tried not to remember his kisses.

"Was it pressure being the first born?" I asked, praying my mind would stop wandering.

"I liked the pressure," he said immediately in his usual easygoing nature as he sat forward. It's like nothing ever phased him. I stared at his hands as he linked them together on the table, remembering how protectively they'd held my waist the first night we met at Chasers. 

"So did you guys see that article about how sex may actually help in prolonging life?" Ella suddenly asked.

"I can see that," Peter said.

"Uh oh. Think I saw an eye roll," Henry said to me with a teasing smile and I knew then I'd been caught. He'd been observing me.

"Well I just think sex is overrated," I said and he lifted a surprised brow with an an intrigued nod.

"Really…" he murmured as he watched me with a blanketed expression. It was always hard to know what was running through his mind.

"Oh god here we go," Ella sighed and sat back in exhaustion, but I could tell she was joking.

"I'm serious," I told her.

"Come on. You're just saying that because you don't get any," Peter said smugly.

"Peter!" Ella exclaimed.

"Not that you're not capable." Peter quickly reassured me. "You just choose not to. I bet if you found a guy who did it right you wouldn't be saying that."

"I don't think it's right to dissect what someone else's sex life is like. If she thinks sex is overrated, then it's overrated. It isn't everything, you know," Henry said and for the first time I saw him actually look a bit irritated with Peter but he was trying his hardest not to show it.

I was beaming on the inside because of Henry's gentlemanly ways. Now I knew why he loved his mother so much. She taught him well. Peter could learn a thing or a thousand from him.

"Dude don't even try to bring that media training you have from when you were in that boy band for a short time."

"What?" Ella asked in surprise.

"You were in a boy band?" I asked in shock too, trying not to smile. Henry could have killed Peter with the glare he gave him. His gaze softened when he looked my way and he only shook his head..

"Don't remind me," he pleaded gruffly and I laughed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose with his head bowed in shame, making a few dark brown strands fall over his forehead as a light pink crept up his cheeks.

My interest in him was piqued again. I tried to imagine him in a boy band and nearly laughed but it also made me wonder how much work ethic he had to have tried that too at some point in his life. He did say he had to take care of his siblings.

"This guy has got chics lined up to the heavens and hell so he shouldn't be talking about sex not being everything."

"Not true." This time Henry didn't hide his annoyance, cutting his eyes at Peter. His brows knotted in the way that normally got me excited. Okay maybe I thought sex was overrated but that didn't stop me from finding him extremely sexy.

"I just feel people let it govern their lives," I moved the topic back on track when I saw how vexed Henry was becoming. He looked relieved and even surprised that I didn't let Peter continue harping on him, but I could tell he was trying to study my reaction from that point on. I tried not to give anything away as I didn't know what to make of what Peter had said. I had to remind myself that while I felt like I'd known Henry for years, I'd just met him and there was till a lot to learn.

So he was probably a notorious flirt, not really surprising. It made me feel like one of many, but I wouldn't be surprised if I was. Those girls at Margaret's weren't flocking to him for nothing.

"Well when you meet a guy who finally rocks your world, let's see if you'll say the same thing," Ella said with a suggestive wriggle of her eyebrows and I just laughed with an eye roll.

We all talked for a while and soon I started clearing out the table, deciding that I would do the dishes. I was offered help but insisted on doing it alone. I was too used to doing things on my own especially with how my father trained me to be.

All three were in the living room while I focused on washing the dishes, trying not to daydream about how much I wanted to kiss those tattoos under Henry's collar. Or how I wanted so much to run my hands up and down his tattooed arms, tracing the veins that raced from his wrists.

And his hands…his strong hands…

My eyes fluttered closed without much of my control and I bit a moan that threatened to escape my lips, continuing to rub the sponge against the porcelain plate. 

"Hi."

I jumped, my eyes flying open. I soon felt a warm body behind me, then his scent, which made my nerves flurry to life. Henry was taller enough than me to where he could comfortably rest his chin on the crown of my head if he bent a little.

Arms bracketed my waist. Then I saw his hands joining mine as I sought for the dishes in the bubbly sink. I sucked my breath and stepped back, my initial reflex to get away. Only when I tried to step back, I couldn't because his firm body was there, my behind bumping against his hard thighs.

Every wall that I normally walked around with began to crumble like it always did in his presence. I felt nervous and weak. My mind was like fallen leaves scattered by the wind and I didn't know what to say or do.

"Shall I help you?" he asked me, the low whisper of his voice and the nuzzling that followed making me tremble.

Now I understood why those women were acting up. Henry was lethal in how he approached women. I should have tried hard to get but I'd never played that game and right now I was just too nervous to do anything. His presence was overpowering for some reason.

"Um, n-no it's fine. I think…I think…I got it." It was a miracle that I was able to get those words out.

"Do you clean to avoid people?" I felt his voice through his chest, vibrating against my back. My entire body tensed as a fuzzy feeling cascaded through me. Every time he got close its like my feelings became chaotic.

"I…no…" I said in a small voice. I couldn't believe how pitiful I sounded around him. But how could I not be reduced to just blushes and speechlessness when I now had a very close view of the flexing muscles in his arms as he too fished for things to wash.

"No? You know you did this last time."He gently pilfered the sponge from me and began washing some forks. He handed them to me to rinse and I'd place them on the dish rack.

"At Margaret's. You cleaned to avoid talking to people," he continued.

Then I felt him nuzzling right behind my ear, making a sharp electrical charge go through me.

I shrugged helplessly, my mind short-fused. We continued to wash quietly, and even as nervous as he made me, I liked all this very much.

"You smell nice." he said quietly, his voice gravelly. "Like peaches."

My nipples ached as they tightened and I inhaled deeply as I shivered.

"You smell nice too," I took a stab at flirting with him too, my cheeks burning when I did so.

"Oh really…" he drawled into my hair.

"Yes. Your hair smells like apples," I said with as much boldness as I could muster.

"Apples?" he asked laughingly, sounding amused. I'd never get over the feeling of him smiling. It was almost better than looking at him smile.

I wanted to explain to him that this was all new to me, then again, wasn't. It was new but it was making me panic. I really hated myself at that moment, but didn't have much time to think.

"Henry?"

"Hmm?"

"Aren't you afraid of me?"

"What?" he asked laughingly and I knew he was trying hard not to laugh harder. I smiled, tilting my head back to look at him with a smile that told him he could laugh his merry heart out. When I looked at him, he gently whisked his lips across my cheek.

"Am I afraid of you?" he asked, looking down at me.

I nodded, watching his hands again as he washed a plate.

"I normally don't believe in fear but the one thing that does always get to me is snakes. And maybe earthquakes, but you are asking me if I'm afraid of a harmless thing like you?"

"I have issues. They should make you afraid…" Even I didn't particularly like the sound of my voice. It was very cryptic and I didn't sound like a safe person at all, but in my mind, I was trying to help him.

"The thing about songwriting, it's just like storytelling. I love stories. I think people are the way they are cause we all have different stories. I'm interested in people's stories. Everyone has a reason. People are only scared of things they don't understand, that's why you help them understand you."

I had never heard anyone say anything like that, and it drew me to him even more. I wasn't even as tense as I was before. I was leaning against him now. He leaned down, his face now close to mine.

"Does that silence mean I was painfully corny?" he asked and I could feel his smile against my cheek.

"No. It means I'm amazed by you."

He smiled into my hair before moving his warm mouth over my ear, sending chills down my spine. His feather-light touch contacted a spot so sensitive I flinched away from him. Feeling foolish and blushing furiously, I rinsed some dishes.

"Do I make you nervous?' he asked in a low murmur that hypnotized me.  He'd then let go of the sponge and interlocked his fingers with mine. The sudsy water made his touch extra delicate. I bit my lip as I blushed.

"A little bit," I finally admitted with a frustrated frown aimed at myself.

"Don't be. I'm no one special."

"I'm not used to men being like this with me," I finally admitted after a moment's silence. My insecurities and doubts were simmering down the more I was around him.

"Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"Not with you. I like it when you do it. I just…" my voice tapered off when I couldn't find the words.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he reassured soothingly.

"I'll tell you…"

I extricated my hand from his and run them over the colorful, black-outlined tattooes on his right forearm. Henry's breath hitched the moment my fingers made contact with his skin.It was roughened slightly by the fine hairs that straightened once I applied water to them.

"Valerie…" Henry sighed roughly into my ear and a strangled voice escaped my throat at the sound of his deep voice.

"You are so beautiful Henry," I murmured as I marveled over his arms, taking free rein and exploring the rifts and valleys that shifted as his muscles reacted to my touch. Each exploration of his skin, trading the tattoos, leaving small mountains of foam on his skin, got me excited and made my breath shallow. I completely forgot we were in someone else's kitchen. I forgot where I was when I was around him.

 I gasped when he trapped my earlobe lightly in his teeth and tagged gently.

"Henry…" I whimpered and my hands closed around his forearms arms, right before his elbows, and I was met with the steely surface of his hard muscles. My knees buckled and I bit my lip to keep me from moaning.

His teeth nipped down to my jaw, which I didn't even know was a sensitive spot. Electricity zapped through me and I pressed my back into him, wanting to feel more of him.

I tilted my head sideways without much thought, giving him more access as he lowered his soft bites to the base of my neck. He started sucking hungrily on the sensitive portion of skin.

This time I couldn't stop the small moan that escaped my lips, which Henry groaned in appreciation to as he continued to suck on me.

My neck arched back and the back of my head dug into his flexing shoulder as he sucked strongly but my feeling of bliss stopped when his wet hand came to over my womb, damping my shirt. He began to bunch it up and lift it.

I froze and luckily at the same time Peter called out to Henry from the living room.

"Yo Henry?!"

Henry suddenly stopped as if being snatched out of a trance, his lips leaving my skin in a strong sucking that stung a little, making me jump.

"Henry?!" Peter called out again and as my heart caused a racket within me, my mind spinning over what I'd just allowed to happen, Henry dropped his forehead onto my shoulder, muttering a curse under his breath. 

"The sound of his voice grinds my fucking gears!" he whispered through clenched teeth. I only realized he was clutching onto my shirt when he let go, his hand joining his other at the edge of the sink where he gripped so tight his knuckles turned white. 

"Just go! Go before he comes in here. I'll meet you there when I finish up." I tried not to let my voice sound as shaky as I was feeling. I'd let go of his arms and hid my shaky hands in the water, searching for something to wash.

He made a noncommittal sound that I found adorable. He wanted to stay with me and while that made me happy it began to terrify me now that he wasn't kissing me anymore. Reality was settling in.

"Can we talk outside when we're done? I.." I asked haltingly, with as much boldness as I could muster when I felt him moving away from me. I'd become too used to the feeling of him. When I realized how urgent I came off, I became embarrassed.

"You what…" he said hotly into my neck, licking lightly before pressing a small kiss there that made me shiver. I hesitated, now wringing the sponge like a shy little girl. Gosh, the things Henry Walker did to me!

"Tell me. Tell me, Valerie," he muttered and I bit another moan when his hot tongue danced around the portion on my neck he'd made throb.

"I'd like to be alone with you." I found myself saying, all my restraint drifting again.

"Of course. I love talking to you," He said in a raspy voice. My shoulders hiked when his lips tickled the outer shell of my ear before he pressed another firm kiss and peeled himself away from me. I heard him wiping his hands with the kitchen towel and was shocked when he gave me a peck on my cheek and disappeared out of the kitchen.

Once I was alone, I blinked my life into focus and took deep breaths, wondering if I was still in a dream state of some sort.

My hands convulsed fervently as I struggled to finish the dishes. My mind was jumping all over the place along with my heart. My face was a furnace as all this energy coursed through my veins. It was a miracle I could still stand.

I completed washing and found them in the living room, having a heated discussion about politics.

"Why is your shirt so wet?" Ella asked and I suddenly remembered Henry gripping it, trying to lift it.

I shot a mortified glance his way, but Henry didn't even look up, continuing his conversation with Peter.

"Uh, just washing dishes," I laughed nervously and sat on the arm of the chair, listening to their opinions about politics.

A few moments later, Henry got a phone call and excused himself from us. Peter stepped into the kitchen for a beer and that's when Ella linked her arm with mine and pulled, making me slide from the arm of the chair where to the cushiony couch next to her.

"What the fuck is this?!" Ella whispered, her eyes alit with amusement. I inched back when she touched my neck and winced a bit at how sensitive the skin was.

"What are you talking about?" I asked panicky and wide eyed with my and over my neck. I could still feel his lips.

"He gave you a hickey didn't he?!"

"What?!" I asked in surprise. Ella reached for her purse, which was by her on the couch, and handed me her compact mirror.

I became goggle eyed when I saw bruising where Henry's lips had been. I'd never gotten a hickey before…

"He so wants to fuck you!!" Ella continued whispering in delight, bouncing in her seat while looking in the hallway where Henry had disappeared.

"Will you stop!! That's vulgar as hell!"

"I saw you guys in the kitchen bumpin' and grindin'!" She said while rolling her hips as she sat and I swatted her. She looked so excited she could jump through the roof. "I didn't know you started kissing??"

"You were spying on us??" I knew my face was extremely red now. I felt so embarrassed because of how I behaved: so openly, fearlessly, and shamelessly. For a long time I accepted that I didn't deserve to be that way and now Ella had seen me in one of my most vulnerable moments ever. I was about to crawl under the coffee table at the center of the living room. Ugh.

"No I wasn't!" She tried to defend herself. "I wanted more wine but you and him were all over each other. I've never seen you let a guy stand next to you for that long ever since--"

"Not true." I broke eye contact as I continued to rub my neck.

"Remember how you push guys away from you in the club? You didn't push Henry away! Oh god it was so cute you guys were washing the dishes together! Val, seriously, you need to hop on this one. Listen to what Josephine said and hop on that British d!!!"

"British d? What's that?" Henry asked with a surreptitious smile as he rejoined us in the living room, his hands behind him as he adjusted his pants.

Somewhere along the way, Ella's voice changed into a normal speaking volume. It would do that when she says that stupid phrase her and Josephine came up with.

I opened my mouth and tried to think of a way out of this but Ella interrupted.

"It's a new dance." Her devilish smile left nothing to be desired.

"Really? Haven't heard of it." Henry;s innocuousness didn't fool me. He sat on the couch next to mine. I could barely look at him.

"Yeah, you do the bunny hop and then ride like a cowgirl. Yeehaw!" She really had the nerve to demonstrate. Henry's eyes danced amusedly as he watched and nodded slowly; even his mocking was polite. I embarrassedly lowered Ella's arms.

"You are just so stupid it hurts!" I chastised her.

"Hey man where's the other beers?" Peter asked at the doorway to the kitchen and Henry excused himself to go show him where they were.

"Don't ever do that again!" I hissed at Ella, smacking her arm as she doubled over on the couch, gripping her stomach as she laughed her heart out. It didn't take long for a smile to begin breaking through my irritated frown.

"Shut up," I mumbled, twisting my lips so I wouldn't smile foolishly along with her.

Minutes later the guys emerged from the kitchen, Henry with two sweating bottles of beer in his hands.

"Alright Peaches, I got our beers. Let's go sit on the porch," He said to me. At first I didn't know what he was talking about, then I remembered him saying I smelled like peaches. The smile on my face couldn't be erased.

I shot up to my feet. "Okay Apples!"

His grinned his sweet grin when he knew I was on the same page. Effortlessly he wrapped his fingers around two bottles in the same hand, using the other to open the door.

I heard Ella whispering as I followed him out the door.

"Girl…ya'll got nicknames already??"

When I looked over at her I was relieved to find that Peter was focused on the game and hadn't heard her.

"Shh! Leave me to be alone with my Apples. Bye!" I stuck my tongue out at her smiling face before going out and closing the door behind me.

Chapter 7

A soft glow spread throughout the dimly lit porch where Henry and I had settled. I was on the cushiony porch swing and he was on a wrought iron chair on the other side.

We were discussing the beer brand when Peter poked his head out in the porch, disrupting us.

"This girl won't stop asking me about you," he told Henry warily.

Henry sat back and propped his legs on the chair in front of him, crossing one ankle over the other.

"Just tell her the truth. I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now," Henry told him, his eyes so honest and unapologetic.

I knew it was none of my business, but his words made me feel a bit weird. At least now I knew where he stood. It's not like that's what I wanted from him anyway. Though it did show me how unusual our little interactions were going. We'd kissed each other many times and he'd just given me a hickey.

Then again, maybe this wasn't really unorthodox for 'normal' people like Ella had said. Maybe it was normal to just enjoy physical frolicking with the opposite sex just because they looked and sounded good. I thought back to all the times I envied Ella's stories of making out with a guy with no strings attached just because she was attracted to him. I guess Henry and I were doing the same thing. So my bet was not to put too much stock into what we were doing.

And anyway, I'd already warned him about being afraid of me. I already knew I wasn't relationship material, at least not yet, so I couldn't fault him for not wanting one.

I tried to cease my mind from running too far with thoughts. We hadn't even talked about it so I didn't need to be thinking about it.

"What?" I heard Henry ask inquisitively and looked up to find his eyes sparkling with curiosity across from me.

"It's nice out today," I hedged as I took a swig of beer.

"It is. We should go out dancing or something," he said as he slid further down in his seat, also sampling his beer.

"Um, earth to music producer, I got a regular 9 to 5. It's a Thursday. Not gonna happen. Where do you live?"

"Miss Randomson, I live in East of London in a nice little house. I'm thinking of getting a place here but I'm not sure. I move around a lot, I'm currently in a hotel that's why I asked Peter if I could cook at his place."

"I would have much rather eaten at your hotel than his raggedy house."

Henry smiled, scrutinizing me pensively for several moments. "Is there some kind of rivalry between you and Peter?"

"We just get on each other's nerves, that's all."

He nodded. "Peter's a strong personality."

Sometimes I wondered what the hell Henry saw in Peter. I knew enough now to know that they were like oil and water. Peter was brash and uncouth and never thought before he spoke. He was elitist in some ways and could be very judgmental to those that weren't like him.

Henry was nothing like that, at least so far. He was kind just by nature and didn't have to try hard to be, that's just who he was. He didn't have to watch what he said because normally he didn't have anything bad to say about anyone, though admittedly that made me wonder about him sometimes.

Still, he seemed like the type who accepted anyone and everyone for what they were without any qualms. He took the 'live and let live' saying to heart and didn't hurt anyone as long as they were living their lives positively. His kind was a rare breed but it was nice when you came across them.

"How long are you going to be here?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound as longing as I felt.

"I leave tomorrow."

"Oh." I tried not to show my disappointment, focusing on my perspiring bottle instead. He lived in freaking London so this little fun thing we had going on would be ending soon. I hated how dejected I was already feeling. I needed to get a fucking grip. This is what 'having fun' with someone entailed: not getting attached.

"Why are you all the way over there, Madame?" Henry suddenly asked me.

I looked up to him across the dark.

"Come here," he motioned with his head and I blushed just at the thought of going to him.  He knew what happened any time we were physically close to one another. I couldn't handle another earth shattering moment. Unlike before, I now felt I had to have control, not because of my own insecurities and problems, but because of him. He made me too weak and vulnerable and I became irrational around him.

I was starting to wonder if I should have feared this nice guy.

"Are you suddenly scared of me?" he asked humorously, unknowingly reading my mind.

I worried my bottom lip in apprehension for a few seconds.

Not wanting to be mocked, I got up and crossed the wooden porch. It creaked beneath my bare feet as I made my way across and sat at the edge of the chair where his feet were. I was barely sitting, his feet were centered on the chair and there wasn't much room for me.

This made Henry laugh heartily and I nursed my beer to control the timidity that enveloped me.

"Valerie."

I looked up and he pointed at his lap. "I meant come sit here. With me. Not there."

His eyes pierced through the dark to me, coaxing me. I never wanted to be those girls that did anything a man told them to, especially after a harsh experience in my past, but this was the problem of having so little experience. You always wanted those experiences you longed for when they were unattainable to you.

I got up, gripping my beer in hand cause I was so nervous, and crossed the distance between us. Filled with trepidation, I sat on his sturdy thighs but avoided looking at him, focusing on my beer instead.

I didn't feel him strain or  struggle to hold my wait. I was also surprised by how solid his muscle felt under my own thighs. He was much stronger than he looked it seemed. Kind of reminded me of someone I used to know.

"You're very weird," I murmured while staring at my bottle.

"I get that quite a bit."

"I mean, I just feel suspicious sometimes because I know I'm not your type," I blabbered and bit my lip regretfully. 

"You must live inside my brain to know that…" I could tell he was a bit irritated and I glanced at him apprehensively and was surprised to find that while his expression wasn't one of irritation, it was basically unreadable. I focused on my bottle again.

"You're perfect and I'm not," I hated that I was saying this.

"Why would you ever put another human being above yourself? I reckon now that you don't think all beings are created equal."

"What? No! that's not true."

"Why would you say someone else is out of your league or more perfect than you are? That sounds like you're being pretty judgmental against yourself to me and it means you think there are people who are actually better than others for trivial reasons such as 'type'."

"No. no I'm not. I never looked at it like that…" I said solemnly. I was not used to having such conversations of depth with men.

He studied me for a minute and I broke eye contact.

"One of these days, you're going to have to tell me everything Valerie. The whole story. Remember bits and pieces," he shook his head. "not my thing."

I looked up at him and studied his expression too. It usually took me eons to trust someone but for some reason I really wanted to trust this guy. I was so drawn to him. This is where I normally fought or started running in the other direction. This is where this unnatural happening made me conclude that it didn't make sense which meant I was being used.

My uneventful safe life nearly made me shut the doors again, but for now, I chose to brave it out.

"Okay. I was severely overweight as a little girl well into my adulthood," I blurted out with no tact whatsoever. I felt a bit silly afterwards but now that the cat was out of the bag, there was no reneging.

I felt Henry's shock and didn't dare look at him. I didn't want to see his troubled or confused expression. I kept going like I was closing my eyes and deciding to run into a burning building.

I decided since I'd already started, I might as well say as much as I could.

"Gastric bypass," I rushed to add. "But also hard work. People call that fake losing weight, but I really did work hard."

"Fuck people," Henry finally said. I was so wired up I couldn't even comprehend what he was thinking of me now.

"Well, I'm sorry for bringing up this awkward conversation. I just feel like I'd be lying if I didn't say--Well, not lying but--I just…ugh, I'm sorry."

It was a bit strange to bring up something that shouldn't have bothered me anymore. It's just that it did. Articulating how it did was the problem. There was always the 'get over it' attitude and it was easier said than done. It was easier to get over it in other aspects of my life except for when it came to dating.

The weight may have melted away, but the scars were still there. Scars from bullying, neglect, stares.

I waited for Henry to be completely turned off like the last guy I tried to explain it to. I waited for him to do the big 'Ooookay well that was fun. Wanna go back inside?' and never speak to me again.

"Even with the weight gone, you're still self-conscious," he said conclusively, rubbing just below my nape and I nodded as his warm hand spread warmth through me.

My heart thudded ferociously in my chest. I hoped to god I wasn't making a mistake by trekking these paths of the past.

"Yeah. It's just been about a year and a half since I lost the weight. I still have a long way to go."

"No. You stop here. You're fine."

The way he was treating me was making me break piece by piece. I never knew telling him about this would have me feeling so vulnerable and jumpy and besides myself. I thought since we were speaking as friends the words would flow out easily. Now I realized how much I valued his opinion. Now I realized how much I didn't want him to run away from me and my baggage.

"But my BMI says I'm still overweight," I blurted yet again, now realizing that the reason I couldn't close the broken dam that was my mouth was because I hadn't talked about this openly with anyone in a very long time. Even with my therapist I censored my words because that was my way of rebelling against my father.

Part of me keeping my job was going to the therapy sessions Dad had sort of coaxed me into going to. As a grown woman, I couldn't say he actually made me go. Though if I wanted to keep my job in that reputable company, I went.

Long story.

"Fuck a BMI, are you kidding me?"

I realized then that Henry's caustic curse words were something I wasn't used to. He didn't seem the type to throw curse words left right and center so when he did you listened. I peered at him to find that he was genuinely disturbed by my line thinking that I needed to lose weight. Focusing on the opening of my beer again, I tried to explain myself without sounding too pitiful.

"It's just I still feel…disgusting…"

Memories of staring at my overhanging flesh in the mirror flashed through my mind. The pain and helplessness that would cease me then subjugated me now mentally and nothing I could do could stop it. The therapy sessions had helped until I met Henry. I knew I sounded crazy and incoherent, I just didn't know how to encapsulate years of mental and emotional abuse into a few sentences.

"People with more weight aren't disgusting. They're still people."

When I looked up at Henry I found that he wasn't pleased with what I'd said I searched his expression for any faux righteousness but found none. I knew he wasn't a saint and didn't want to be seen as one but I was also beginning to learn that Henry Walker had boundaries when it came to judging people.

"But apparently they're lazy and lack self control and apparently they stink more and they're just vile human beings who don't deserve to be happy and will burn in hell for what they allowed to happen."

"Is that what people used to tell you?" he was frowning.

"I was reminded of every day of my life. Well, that's kind of dramatic. Most days when they didn't feel the need to state the obvious."

"You were as beautiful then as you are now."

His words made me pause.

"I know. Go on, roll your eyes…" he said in some kind of self-deprecation that surprised me. It's like he was used to people thinking that a guy 'like him' was bullshitting being so 'nice'.

"You haven't seen me…" I tried to explain to him, anxiously gripping my beer.

"I have seen you," he insisted. I opened my mouth protestingly but I decided I'd already said too much.

"What is it?" the gentleness of his tone made me gush everything I'd been holding in.

"What if I gain the weight back? I have a horrible metabolism. I have to keep the weight away," my voice was tinged with panic. I couldn't go back to being treated as sub-human, people making oink noises when you walked by, or men and women looking at you like you were a vile creature.

"What if? So? You'll still be Valerie? The honest game player? Who likes winters in New York and dancing on the sandy beaches at 4 in the morning? Who also likes the smell of Apples?"

The smile in his voice made me twitch a small smile. His hand was on the waist I despised so much and he rubbed the lower back of it consolingly as he watched me thoughtfully for several moments.

"You don't believe me."

"I'll come around. Eventually. I'm working on it. What about you? Your story? I've been narcissistic enough already. I need to hear more about you." I hoped my steering of the conversation would be successful, but Henry only watched me mutely in deep thought as he habitually rubbed his plump bottom lip.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he finally asked, not wanting to delve into another conversation before he was sure I was fine. I felt good that he wasn't rushing the conversation off, no matter how uncomfortable it got him.

"I'm actually very happy," I told him honestly. No matter how weird I felt I was glad I'd finally told him. Henry surprised me when he tucked my hair behind my hair.

"You're so fucking adorable to me…" he murmured wondrously and I felt heat that only he could create permeating through me.

"It's your turn, Mr. Bean," I said to try take the sudden shyness about to control me. Henry's face lit up, his eyes going so wide the white showed, and a grin creeping his lips.

"Why Mr. Bean? Cause I'm British?!" he exclaimed and it took a while for me to realize that he thought I was referring to the comedic show Mr. Bean.

"No! Cause you wear beanies!" I dropped my face in my palms. "Oh god! I'm sorry." I looked up at him, adding, "Speaking of beanies, I have yours in the car. So anyway," I impulsively fixed his denim collar, forcing myself not to touch the exposed touchable skin. "Tell me about your story." 

"My story," he said with a thoughtful sigh, looking off at the still, calm, night. He looked very handsome in the dim lighting outside. The curls looping over his profile drove me mad and I flirted with them before helplessly trailing my fingers down his sharp jaw. He looked at me bright eyed and amused with my amusement of him. Whenever I thought of men I found attractive they never looked like Henry yet with him sitting in front of me, I couldn't help but find him the most attractive man in the world.

"Yes," I said.

A slow, shrewd smile elongated his lips. "I don't really have an interesting one to tell."

My shoulders sagged knowing his stalling was an attempt to tease me and keep me eager. "Bull ish all the way."

He grinned as he admired the night again. "I was a normal kid. For the most part. I think the biggest impact in my life is when my parents divorced, but I was always referred to as the glue that kept it all together, cause apparently I'm a little positive bundle of joy."

I felt ignorant because this was a side of Henry I'd wondered about but hadn't really known what to expect.

When I said nothing still processing what he'd told me, he looked my way and smiled. Suddenly, he tickled my sides which he'd been holding in his hands. I giggled and my hand flew up to conceal my mouth, my reaction Henry's delight.

"Stop this instant. I don't giggle."

"I heard a giggle," he teased as he held my sides, pulling me closer.

"I so got it though," I said as I played with the buttons on his shirt. "You hold your emotions inside."

"What drives you to that conclusion?" he tilted his head inquiringly. I nearly pounced on his neck to start kissing it all over.

"I've never seen you pissed at anything," I said discerningly.

"I take the occasional piss into the loo," he said with a silly, boyish grin.

"Comedian of the year," I said dryly with an unenthusiastic clap that made him flash his teeth as he laughed.

"You don't know me that well either, then. I do get upset, but you are right, I just don't show it."

"Why not?"

He shrugged. "I guess I'm just built that way. It takes a lot to put me down. I feel if you let someone make you angry, you are giving them control."

For some reason I thought about how I'd often go off the handle whenever my father made me angry. For all his genius ways, Dad was known for his erratic behavior and fiery personality. I was like him just a tiny bit in that way. I wonder what he would do if I stayed calm as he went off on me. His head would probably explode.

As wise and 'common sense' as Henry's words were, they werent common for me to hear. They made an impression on me because most of the advice I usually got from home was technical. My mother was a bit softer than my father, but like him, excelling in academics and career was always the main goal.

They did teach me business etiquette, and how to watch your competition as much as you watched your coworkers, but that was about it. Advice about friends was not to put too much time and faith into it because that didn't give you security in the end. Financial independence was the pinnacle of success in the Jones' family.

In his few sentences I'd learned a lot from Henry, but I didn't want to show him how far I was taking his words and running with them. No sense scaring the guy off especially after cryptically imparting that he should be worried about me.

"When I saw how much my positive attitude helped my mother during the divorce, I've always just been that way," Henry surprised me when he continued. He was staring at his bottle reminiscently.
 
"You don't ever get sad?"

Henry's green eyes lifted to me questionably and I damned Negative Nancy for making an appearance. His covert smile as he refocused on his beer made me wonder if he was in line of my thinking how pessimistic I was.

"Oh, I'm awful." I lowered my gaze as I retreated back into my negative world. "Always thinking everyone has to have a deep dark secret or some chip on their shoulder."

"My deepest, darkest secret is I had an affair with a married woman when I was younger, and I still regret it to this day."

When I lifted my surprised gaze, it was to find Henry gazing at me unwaveringly, a seriousness on his face that I normally didn't see. Well, I take that back. The last time I saw it, he was telling me to give him my lips at Margaret's. 

"You did what?" I asked in disbelief when I finally found my voice. Such a thing couldn't compute as I looked at Mr. Nice Guy.

"I was young and foolish. I had the reputation of a charmer and it kind of got to my head. Every woman was a challenge that I wanted to get into. The richer I became, the lesser the challenge. Women just flocked. But finally, there was one who didn't flock, and I felt I had to get her, moreso to prove something to myself than to just have her. My ego got in the way.  It was fun for a while until I finally started to come to my senses not to mess with a married woman, but by then, I'd really began to fancy her and eventually fell in love with her as a person. It was a mess. Their…fifteen year marriage ended because of me."

Dumbfounded, I watched Henry focus on smoothing his thumb against the beer label, his eyebrows knotted. He clearly was lost in a maze and it seemed it would take a lot to get him out.

"Then like a selfish bastard I finally realized kids were involved," he continued. "And I thought of my own parents and their divorce, and what a huge cross that was to bear for me when I was younger. I was so young and foolish. I've even been called cold hearted and--" he cut himself of, his angry expression dissipating when he lifted his gaze to mine. He pursed his lips in regret, then smiled sadly, lowering his eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"You can run along now."

"Why?"

His head rested on the back of the chair as he regarded me knowingly. "Don't lie. I committed the ultimate sin. I broke a family. Why would you want to be around someone like that?"

That was a very good question. Why would I?

For all the ways I felt my father, I respected the fact that he'd never cheated on my mother. Either he was too obsessed with work or he really did love us deep down inside. My closest experience to divorce was watching what Ella's family went through.

Knowing so far what a sweet person Henry was, it didn't compute that he'd break a marriage. For a long time I didn't know what to say or do. I didn't know how to feel or what to do with the information.

What I did like was that he was honest and very forthcoming about a situation he didn’t have to be. Especially since it had happened so long ago.

"But she was also a part of it. She's an adult too," I finally said to Henry's surprise.

"You were young and a immature. We make mistakes. And you recognize your mistake, which is good."

Henry's stunned eyes turned introspective as he elaborated.

"I still feel bad about it though at times, and I guess that's my karma. That's why I hate when people keep saying I'm such a good sweet guy. I'm not."

We were both playing a very risky game. How were we supposed to know that each of us wouldn't go around town tattling what we'd just told one another?

I surmised that maybe because I'd entrusted something to him that was a very sensitive issue, he felt that I trusted him and maybe that made him think he could do the same. At least I hoped that's what this was.

"And please don't say I am, I know what I am," he continued haltingly.

"You were an asshole, but that's just a small part of you, not all of you. You're a good person, come on. Try embracing that just a little bit. Plus, you have dimples, you can't go wrong with that."

That made him dimple into a smile.

"Some criminals have dimples," he reasoned as he looked up at me. I helplessly kissed his indented cheek.

"Well then that’s their only saving grace," I sat back and looked down at him. "How old were you Henry, when this happened?"

"Twenty years old."

"How old was she?"

"Thirty-five."

"Eww!!"

"She's beautiful." He defended, trying to look offended only the persistent smile on his face marred that attempt.

"It's been seven years? Let it go."

His eyes marveled over me and the brief frustration I'd seen in his eyes was no longer there. Snaking my arms around his waist, I rested my chin on his chest, peering at him. "I'll still be your friend."

He brushed some strands away from my forehead. "Does it not bother you? Even a little bit? I'll like you  more if you tell me the truth."

"It's shocked me for sure. I do feel just a tiny bit woosy."

He smiled admiringly. "Thank you for your honesty."

I broke my eyes from his admiring gaze and rest my profile on his chest, enjoying the feeling as he started massaging my scalp with the digits of his fingers.

"Have you ever broken anyone's heart?" he asked me suddenly and I searched my mind till I found something.

"Yep. There was a time especially when the weight was lost, this guy oh he was just the epitome of perfect. Almost more perfect than you," I heckled.

"Really." he drawled amusedly and it was the sexiest sound. I squirmed.

"He was everything. Hard working, kind, a gentleman, but he  just wasn’t exactly my type physically. My stupid ass said no to him for that stupid reason. He now has a huge stake in Facebook and one of the prettiest models on his arm. Do you know how dumb I feel every time I look at my bank account?"

He was laughing quietly. "You are rather entertaining, I have to say."

"Listen, yes, getting with a woman knowing she was married was wrong, you were a young hot head who felt he had the world in his palm and let's be real, you felt you had to live up to a certain expectation." His eyes brightened with intrigue the more I talked. His teeth trapped his bottom lip and he listened intently. "There was pressure to be 'the man'. It's all fun and games when you're sleeping with the MILF until the divorce papers come, but that marriage was going to break. If it was important, she wouldn’t have given you the time of day. Think about it, if you're married to the person of your dreams, the person who you can fuck on the very same couch you watch sports on. Then one day, all of a sudden a youngin with a tiny waist, big boobs and long lashes comes your way, what would you do? Oh don’t forget your soul mate's body is sagging now and a bit frumpy. And they're also suffering hair loss. What would you do?"

"You're the worst." He was smiling even as he said that.

"You may be tempted but, you remind yourself who you're going home to, so you won't cheat. If you love someone enough, you won't cheat. And if you become weak for a moment and do cheat, if you love someone enough, you forgive even when they make a mistake. No matter how selfish. It doesn't mean you get back with them, but you forgive."

"You know, they got back together a year ago." His voice was a bit lighter and more hopeful. "I thought it would hurt but I couldn't be happier for them."

"See?!"

"I just worry about the kids. She assured me that it was better when they divorced because the kids saw them fight less but, it still saddens me that they went through that cause of me."

I frowned, not really knowing what to say about that. "How are the kids now?"

"They seem to be doing perfectly fine."

"You have to forgive yourself Henry. How can you move on if you don't?"

He pondered for a while, then a slow, pure smile of appreciation settled on his lips. I couldn't remember the last time a guy looked at me like this, where the look wasn't one filled with disgust, or just pure lust. His eyes were grateful, like that one would give their good friend. I liked the feeling his eyes were giving me.

"I don't know about you but I felt irony passing through. Bloody hell! I think I just came up with a nice opening line to a song. " He suddenly tilted his body to get his phone. "I'm sorry about this. This is basically how I work."

At first I was confused, but finally realized by irony passing through, he was referring to me saying he needed to move on. Clearly that was something I needed to do. What was uppermost in my mind now was watching how frantically he tapped onto his phone, his eyes dancing like a kid that just left a candy store.

"What's happening right now is fucking amazing." I said laughingly.

"You know what? I have an idea," he said smilingly while still going through his phone.

"What?"

"I want to show you The Tavern. But it's all the way on the other side of town, so it would take us at least an hour to get there. But trust me, it would be worth your while. What do you say?"

That inner spark that always lay dormant in him came out and by now it no longer surprised me as much as before. Henry was a party animal underneath a well-mannered mirage. A part of me wondered if he was truly just a bad boy cloaked by the sweetest most benevolent smile.

I already knew that I couldn't keep up with him but now I was wondering about the enormity of all this.

"You're out of your loving mind that's what I say. Henry, it's a Thursday. I have to be at work by at least 8."

"It's only eight o'clock right now. We get there around 9:30, stay for an hour, and I'll have you back by 12. Promise."

I was already on the chopping block at work. If I showed up late tomorrow, how was I going to redeem myself? I hadn't heard back from any employers yet, though I knew Earldet in my resume would help me. I couldn't act out until I knew I had job security elsewhere.

Nonetheless, after Henry and I had just bonded I did want to be around him a bit more. I knew going with him would be irresponsible but all the restlessness and excitement bustling wouldn't let me be rational.

Part of my restlessness came from my docile years, when I should have gotten partying and irresponsibility out of my system. I also selfishly wanted more kisses with his expert lips. Additionally, way he touched me in the kitchen still had me walking on cloud nine. Even sitting on him now, being next to him was almost too much to bare. I recalled Ella telling me how she used to sneak out in high school to her boyfriend's house. I'd always envied not being able to do those things, not just because I came from a strict household, but there were never any guys to experience that with.

Also, when was the next time I was going to do something like this?

"Please," Henry urged softly. "I leave tomorrow, and I want us to have a bit more fun. But if it's too much, I understand. I don't want to be too pushy…"

"Let's go," I said quickly.

Henry's brow furrowed. "Are you sure? Maybe I shouldn't have brought it up. You know what, it might be a bad idea. We can go another time, I'm sorry."

"Don't make me change my mind." I ignored the forlorn look overcoming his face. Clearly he didn't like pressuring others to be uncomfortable or do what he wanted. "Could you give me a different shirt? This one is still a bit wet."

When he saw that I was in it and wanted to give it a try, Henry leaned forward and kissed me. "That's my girl."

His words made my face beet red and I stood up. I knew he didn't mean I was technically his but that didn't mean his words didn't hit me to my gut.

I decided to take them with a grain of salt, not wanting to make a fool out of myself.

This was all for fun, after all.

Chapter 8

A chorus of screams made me flinch and look around anxiously.

Then a large hand quickly swooped mine into theirs and held on firmly.

"All right love?"

I found the green eyes looking down at me concernedly and nodded, gravitating towards his larger body. A slow, taunting smile crept on his lips.

"Scared?" he quipped.

Henry walked with one hand pocketed and I timidly walked beside him on a very busy street on the strip. 

"Me? Scared?" I scoffed, wringing my hand from his holding my head high.

Another ruckus erupted across the street with people calling  as paparazzi followed some celebrity I wasn't even aware of, coupled with incessant clicks and flashes of their cameras. I rushed to Henry's side, sought his hand urgently and guiltily peered up at him to find him smirking with a roll of his eyes.

I playfully bit the his arm, the hardness of it surprising me. Henry only looked down at me, still smirking but now in amusement. His smirk turned into a gentle smile.

"Don't worry. You're safe as long as you're with me."

Henry's words made me pause as a flashback abruptly struck me. Words that should have made me in fact feel secure made me feel the opposite. As if sensing my doubts, Henry squeezed my hand. Somehow that reminded me that he was not that person that made the word become empty.

I squeezed his hand back and curled my other hand right around his elbow, leaning my head against his bicep.

Henry hadn't told me that by an hour away, he actually meant by plane. I started freaking out inside wondering what the hell I was doing. For all I knew Henry could have been some serial killer that was going to drive me to the desert and pummel me with a shovel, then store my axed head in his East London refrigerator. I knew my thoughts were silly but hey, anything could happen, right? This was the kind of trip you took with someone you knew for at least a year, not two weeks. He probably thought I was off my rocker after my rant the first night we met. Regardless, my curiosity of hanging with him more made me follow through with this impromptu trip.

We told Peter and Ella we were just going to go hang out; I got the feeling Henry didn't want to try convincing them to chart a plane to another city at last minute. He also took care of my ticket, purchasing it before I could protest. Luckily Peter didn't live too far from the airport, but with traffic we got there in forty-five minutes.

Henry and I just hang around the airport for thirty minutes before it was boarding time. As we did I couldn't help thinking how I'd never done anything that wasn't planned.

Dad told me the greatest way to success was preparation--in everything in life. Unplanned situations reaped stressful outcomes. For example, my oldest brother was unplanned from both my parents, so it's a no-brainer where that thought process came from.

My life had been so controlled and proper, I was brimming over with excitement and fear so much I wondered if Henry could feel it. Doing something on a whim was scary but it was also invigorating. I liked Henry's easygoing yet adventurous spirit.

When we got to the strip, a taxi drove us downtown, which took another forty minutes. We got to the place by around 10:45.

This was fucking ridiculous but for some reason I loved every ridiculous moment of it.

As we walked down the street, I noted a marked difference comparing this place to Tilden. This city was far more alive, you could feel the energy rising from the ground. People here were loser, louder, and had a more creative fashion sense. For a week day, it was extremely busy.

Henry suddenly stopped and was fishing in his pockets for something. I then heard a beautiful voice among all the noise and looked to my left to see a homeless man in ratty, tattered clothing He was just looking about and singing, not begging. Henry gave him a few bills of money and I followed suit, giving him something. He didn't know but this was a very delicate thing for me.

When we lived in New York City for a while and would often pass homeless people, my father chastised me for giving a homeless woman all of my allowance for that week.

'You don't enable a homeless person. They deserve to be there because they didn't work hard.'

I had never felt right about his comments and even my mother had told him to chill out.

"Thank you, my brother. Thank you sister," he told us both, took the money, and began to sing. Henry took my hand and we started walking again, but I felt something very different from him now. I looked to find his brows knotted in deep concentration. His mouth was also firmly set. It was hard to know what he was thinking and feeling.

I gently placed my other hand over his, which as gentle as the touch was, struck him like he'd been hit by lightning and he looked at me, blinking like he'd just jumped out of a dream.

"You okay?" I asked and the question seemed to make him very surprised.

Suddenly, Henrly looked on top of my head. His eyes lit up.

"Come with me," he said and suddenly started dragging me where his eyes had fixated on. It was a small pizza shop.

"Are you hungry?" he asked me as we both looked at the menu. For a second I eyed him with skepticism because I was hungry. I didn't have enough bangers and mash, and with my strict diet of not eating after 7:00 PM, I couldn't eat now.

"No," I lied. If I focused on other things I wouldn't focus on the hunger, and it wasn't really that bad anyway.

"Do you mind if I get something?" he asked after the guy behind the counter asked Henry what he'd like, reaching for his wallet again. I shook my head and watched as Henry ordered a large cheese pizza. I didn't bother asking why he wanted a large pizza randomly when we were supposed to go dancing, but as I stood there making small talk with him waiting for the order, I realized that I didn't really care what Henry and I did. As long as we were doing it together at the moment.

Fifteen minutes later his order came and instead of us sitting like I thought we would, he held it in on hand while taking hold of my hand again and headed out of the pizza joint. I have to say, I enjoyed the hand holding a lot. Henry seemed to enjoy it too, and there was an air of possessiveness to how he held me. I wasn't a fan of insanely possessive guys but in this situation I really liked it.

Again, I felt…safe, which was weird, cause it's not like my life was in danger or anything.

I was surprised when we started walking in the other direction and I thought he was going to pick some nice spot to eat his pizza, but as we neared the homeless guy again, it finally dawned on me what was happening.

When Henry let go of my hand and hunkered down before the guy, I watched in awe of it all.

"Here you go mate." He placed the box in front of him and opened it. "It might not be much, but it should hold you off for the night."

My mouth slowly opened as I gaped.

Oh crap. Why on earth were my eyes welling with tears?

"Oh son, you didn't have to do this," the homeless guy said guiltily, though I could see the gratitude in his eyes.

"Not a problem sir. You have a good night," Henry said as he stood back up. He looked for me and held his hand out. By then I'd already blinked the tears away before he could see them and basically sprang for his hand.

"You too. God bless you. You will go far in life," the guy said as we walked off.

"Thank you, you too," Henry said.

We walked for a while and I couldn't stop looking at Henry. He finally felt my gaze and smiled down at me.

"What?"

I practically pounced on him when I grabbed his face and gave him the biggest kiss I'd given him to date. I felt Henry smiling as he wrapped his arms around my waist, then he kissed me back, our tongues dancing with each other.

When we pulled back, Henry kept his forehead against mine, his hair tickling my forehead. He was searching my eyes and I was searching his. When I nuzzled his nose, his eyes closed in bliss and he rubbed his nose against mine. My fingers moved from his shirtfront, plowing into his curls to hold his head as I kissed the tip of his nose.  I pecked his soft lips one last time, then held his hand and started walking again.

As we walked, I squeezed his hand. Then he squeezed mine back.

Nothing had to be said.

I was indescribably happy.

***

Just from the outside I could tell that the club was extremely image conscious. Henry and I had cut the extremely long line and the bouncer let us in without even inspecting our attire like I saw him doing to others. We entered the club as the irate people queuing barked insults, but the inside design was so sensational I'd quickly forgotten about them.

The club entered was the biggest one I'd ever seen. Purplish-pink and blue-green transitional lighting illuminated the big room. Sizable diamond chandeliers hang from the high ceiling. What astounded me most were the dancers high up, hoisting themselves only by their hands and bodies on endless white drapes.

While I was taken aback, I liked this ambiance. There were so many different kinds of people, and it reminded me of all the gaming and comic cons that Ella used to help me sneak into when I was in high school as well as conventions that I went to by myself in college. It reminded me of all the different characters and different worlds that were out there.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Henry asked as he guardedly walked behind me, his body towering mine. His hand was protectively over my midriff as we maneuvered through the milling bodies. Try as I might, I  couldn't deny how protected I felt. Ugh. He made me all 'gooey' and junk.

Was I okay with this?

Suddenly one of the able-bodied dancers rolled down to a certain point and caught herself on the drapes before continuing to showcase her flexibility. I was about to have a heart attack I thought she was going to fall!

Henry laughed throatily behind, surprising me when he gently held my hips close to his body as we weaved through the heavy crowd.

While I was admiring the design of this high end club, Henry reminded me that I hadn't responded by ghosting his lips against my ear, startling me and sending shivers down my spine. I reached up, my fingers lingering against the slightly rough skin of his clean shaven jaw. He leaned further into me when I touched him, moaning low and pressing a kiss on my outer ear. I clumped my thighs together as a needy throb began.

"Yeah I'm okay with this," I assured him in a trembling voice. My need to touch him more made my hands go up and get lost in the silky curls over his head. Henry nuzzled me hungrily in response.

"I promise to have you back before it gets late," he said then let his lips linger over my ear. As I shivered in delight I blushed at the fact that he did this so openly for the world to see.

"Henry?" I tilted my head back suddenly, turning it in an attempt to look at him.

"Hmm." He lowered his head till his ear was in front of my mouth.

"I'm not going to share with anyone what you told me today," I told him resolutely and he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and squeezed. He was hugging me from behind.

"I know, love." He kissed my temple. "That's why I told you. And I will do the same with what you told me."

God, it felt so good to hear that.

I grinned like the cat that swallowed the canary as Henry's hands found my hips again.

We hadn't waded in the crowd long before people began recognizing Henry. And the recognition was astronomical, to the point where it frightened me quite a bit. I truly learned how stepping into a different city meant stepping into an entirely different culture. I knew some producers were famous, but most people didn't even know who they were really. I wondered if he was this popular because of his looks or what?

The people approaching Henry didn't even bother asking who I was, neither did most of them even spare me a glance. They were talking over Henry so much I assumed that's why he didn't introduce me, but to be honest, I was kind of glad he didn't. I also began to wish he didn't hold me when they approached him. I didn't want to be an embarrassment to him--and I'm sorry if that aggravates you but that's just how I felt.

As I watched the people talking to Henry, I couldn't help but realize how everyone here was glamorous, on a fucking Thursday night. I checked the time to see Henry and I had actually made it a little to 11. I was struck with surprised when I realized what day it would be in an hour, but didn't really have time to mull over that. I was busy thinking how I was dressed in Henry's black Rolling Stones t-shirt, black jeans, and my snazzy but plain loafers. I also had on Henry's orange beanie, which he told me to keep. How did that compare to women in glimmering mini-dresses and six inch heels? The only thing saving me now was my red lipstick. and eyeliner

The more they didn't acknowledge me, the more Peter's earlier words of Henry having women lined up popped in mind. Did this mean they weren't surprised seeing him with a new girl, one who definitely didn't look like she was from West Hollywood?

He must have sensed part of my apprehension because his fingers pressed into my thighs when I tried to inch away from him a few times. I placed my hands on his with the intention to pull them down, but was surprised by how good they felt and ended up just resting my hands over his.

I got used to the folks coming to us until this gorgeous, tall, slender woman approached us that was the most glamorous of them all. She looked so familiar and then it hit me. Madison Anderson, famously known just as Madison. She was a singer and budding box-office actress. She'd had a mega-hit single years ago and just last year was the leading lady in a blockbuster super-hero movie.

She also modeled, unsurprisingly. She reminded me of Miranda Kerr only with a slightly longer face and blonde hair down to her waist. Miranda fucking Kerr guys. Where was the shovel for me to start on that grave?

The dress she wore hugged her svelte figure like a glove and there wasn't an ounce of fat on her body. Everything worked in perfect harmony and she was as effortlessly graceful as a swan. She wore a lace top that stopped right at her ribcage, and a matching hip-hugging skirt that started beneath her bellybutton. I envied the smooth skin of her long, pencil-thin waist and suddenly wanted to break into an run. What the hell was Henry thinking bringing me here dressed like I was going to work in his fucking garden?! Then again, he did ask me if he could buy me something to wear when we were on the way to the airport. I adamantly said no, so I guess there was his warning of the dress code.

Her hair was shiny, healthy, and voluminous. With dark roots, it was an assortment of platinum blond to dirty blond. The strands were side swept from the right side, falling in lustrous bouncy curls over her left shoulder down to her waist.

This is why I didn't hang around men like Henry Walker. They dated women like Madison Anderson. Now they made perfect sense. I don't care how bitter or insecure I sounded. I was just being honest with how I felt at the time.

"Henry!!!" she beamed, revealing toothpaste-ad teeth, opening one arm out to him, the other holding a champagne glass.

"Madison! Hey!" Henry greeted her and relief washed over me when he let go of my hips to give her a hug.

"I kept hearing people saying you walked in and when I finally saw you I felt I just had to come and say hi! I didn't expect you to be here today!!"

I'd met a couple of celebrities who'd endorsed one of my father's most successful past product so I rarely got star struck, but Madison had me speechless. There are just those women in the world who are blessed with beauty so breathtaking no one could deny it.

I could tell she had minimal make up, no freckles like me, and her long lashes were hers alone. I truly hoped Henry would forget I was around. I still had time to make a clean exit. 

"You look amazing, as usual," Henry's deep voice said beside me after they'd pulled back. She was only about an inch shorter than him, so she had to be at least a 6 in heels.

I looked down at my lame loafers and at her designer open toe shoes. Even her freaking toes were prettier than mine!

"You do too! Wow it's been a while!" she exclaimed.

Her picture-perfect, red-lipped smile faltered as she eyed him. There was emotion hiding behind her eyes. Oh great, let me guess, she'd also fallen for Henry's charms.

I was frowning to myself when she broke her gaze away from his and looked at me. I waited for the demeaning sizing up that I was sure to come. I was about to tell her 'yeah I know I don't stand a chance just go on and take him' when she surprised me and smiled kindly, unlike what most women would have done seeing me next to Henry the hunk.

"Hey! I'm Madison!" She introduced herself very warmly and I nearly slapped her perfectly slender hand away. Yeah, she even had a nice personality and brimmed over with confidence. I fucking lost. If my father could hear my defeating thoughts right now I'd be getting a spanking. He hated losers.

"I know you. I'm Valerie. Henry's friend."

I felt weird saying that, but I didn't want her to get the idea that I would even think Henry would ever have me as a girlfriend. I wasn't stupid to how the world worked.

"I love your shirt!"

"It's Henry's," I said dumbly, not really knowing what else to say. Her eyes widened in a shock I wasn't surprised by.

"Oh! Yeah he's crazy about them," she said, her smile faltering a little.

"You're so fucking pretty," I blurted with a worried frown and she laughed, her cerulean blue eyes shimmering in the dim club.

"Oh no, please. You are gorgeous! I love your freckles!"

"Thanks," I murmured dryly. I should have worn more make up. I was like a deflated balloon now with all the confidence sucked out of me.

"So how have you been?" Henry asked her and I looked to find him smiling at her the way he did everyone else. I was surprised he wasn't lapping her up now. This was torture for me and I just felt humiliated. Yes, fucking sue me for being insecure, I don't care.

"I'm gonna get a drink," I excused myself and was surprised when Henry reached for my hand.

"I'll get you one too, don't worry." I managed to wrest my hand from his hold.

I turned away from his preoccupied expression and hurried away from them. It took me a long while. On the way there some really drunk guy grabbed me and started rubbing his groin all over me, making his friends laugh. I pushed him off and finally made my way to the bar, not sure if I could handle the heart of this crowd.

They were crazy.

Signaling the waiter at an L.A. club was like a damn task you had to have skill to do. It took me ages to find a spot at the bar and then my voice wasn't loud enough. This end of the club wasn't as bad as the frenzied dance floor though so I decided to just chill there for a while, wondering why I always resorted to immature antics whenever a pretty woman came around.

Frustrated by my lack of experience and confidence, I searched the crowd and was surprised by how easily I found Henry. He stood out without really trying to. He and Madison were both speaking. She looked a bit worried but Henry either was the most pleasant person on earth or he had the best poker face known to man because he didn't look fazed by what she was saying. She lowered her head and Henry cupped one side of her long, slender neck, his head dipped as he tried to convince her something. 

Trying to ignore the jealousy coursing through me, I looked around and noted how good looking many of the guys here were. They took care of themselves well. At a round of laughter to my right, I glanced down the length of the bar and did a double take when I saw a mop of dark curls. When I took in the guy's face, I swore to myself that Henry Walker was at the bar, only he was wearing a simple black shirt, not the blue denim he'd walked in with, and no longer had his hat.

I confusedly looked back over where Henry originally was and when I saw that he was still talking to Miss Perfect, I looked at the bar and saw his look alike again. My gaze averted between the two in disbelief for many seconds. This was just creepy as all fuck. Why did he look exactly like him? Who the hell was he?

A small tagging of my sleeve made me turn to find a familiar face in front of me. With the insane lighting of the club, it took me a while to search my memory to ID the face.

"Valerie, right?" the woman asked.

"Yeah…"

"Hey!!! I'm Savannah. Don't know if you remember me."

The moment she uttered her name, a bulb went off in my head. The woman I'd met at Margaret's who rode with Henry.

"I remember you. I thought you would hate me…" I cut right to the chase, finding her friendliness a bit weird. She hadn't been all smiley when she walked in on Henry and I kissing. She stopped sipping from the tiny straw of her margarita.

"Why? Oh cause of Henry!" she waved me off, moving her shoulders to the beat of the song as she admired the crowd. "Oh no. It's just another week, another girl, nothing new with Walker." She paused when she realized what she'd said, but it was too late, the words already stung. She looked at me, mildly apologetic. "I'm sure you're cool though, no offense."

"None taken…" I looked to the bartender who was tending to a patron whose pendulous breasts clearly got his attention. She'd arrived at the bar after me. I started to get agitated.

"Wont you get my fucking drink I've been here for a while!" I yelled with no manners. I may have been insecure but even I had my limits for being a pushover. He didn't hear me, but it did make Savannah laugh.

"Here, let me help you." She handed me her margarita and I nearly dropped it from surprised when she climbed her tiny, limber body onto the bar like a pro. Clearly not her first time doing this kind of thing. With a few drinks in her system, she nearly fell, leaning onto some random guy that was enjoying the view from below up her mini skirt. A few hoots and whistles went around, but the bartender eyed her angrily.

"You're gonna have to get down. We don't do that kind of thing here!" he told her caustically.

"Well get my friend a drink cause she's been here. And it better be on the house before I say it was discrimination."

My mouth dropped. I don't think the bartender was being racist but rather preoccupied and you had to go through great lengths to get his attention. A quick perusal of the club would show that I was one of the few blacks here though so I knew Savannah was using that excuse.

"There's cameras so I know he'll see when she came in," she went on.

The bartender was cowed, his jaw flexing as he eyed Savannah down.

"Um, Savannah, it's okay!" I tried to catch her attention. "I'm not really that thirsty. I don't want to cause a scene…"

We were drawing a crowd.

"Savannah, this is why you need to be my fucking bird!" A loud, deep, British voice said down the bar.

"You can't handle me Ben!" she said laughingly at the person I couldn't see now cause of all the many bodies at the bar.

"What drink does she want?" the bartender asked discontentedly.

Savannah smiled satisfactorily, searching the cheering folks at the bar until she found me.

"What do you want?"

"Uh," I felt put on the spot, as the bartender cut his eyes at me. Oh god. Maybe attention just wasn't my thing. But a small part of me liked this little sense of rebellion in Savannah. It was starting to rub off on me for I remembered all the years I followed the rules and catered to people's needs and wants. Why not, just for one night, couldn't I just not be the good daughter, student, and friend? Hell, especially after what day it would be in an hour, why the hell not?

I decided then just to spite him and have a bit of fun and smiled up at Savannah. "Surprise me!" 

Savannah grinned and faced the bartender. "Triple Espresso Martini. And a double shot Fireball."

"Fine. Now get off my bar before I call security!"

Savannah giggled as she climbed down, and I was gaping as I helped her down.

"You are crazy!" I said as I returned her drink, which she downed in one go, wincing and holding onto my arm as it zinged through her.

"Next time you come in," She pointed with a grimace at my shirt. "Dress a bit better. I don't even know how they let you in like this."

"I didn't know I was coming here. Henry invited me for dinner and so I thought I'd just be at the house."

"He can cook his ass off, can't he?"

So he cooked for everyone. It wasn't a special occasion. Not that I cared or anything. If I could cook like him, I'd cook for everybody.

"Yeah…" I muttered.

My drinks came and I was about to start with the martini when Savannah stopped me.

"Take the shot now. It will loosen you up quicker."

I hesitated before downing the shot, shocked as the cinnamon flavor left a burning trail down my throat. I felt it almost instantly, especially on my empty stomach. My guardedness quickly lowered down a notch. 

The small crowd that had formed around Savannah drifted off, especially after she shooed off a couple of guys that tried to hit on her.

Curiously I sought Henry and saw now that he was talking not only to Madison but another guy with glasses standing with them.

I caught her attention and pointed in their direction. "Who's the girl standing with Henry?"

"You don't know who Madison is?"

"I mean how do they know each other?"

"That's his ex."

My mouth nearly hit the floor as I gaped. "Huh?"

"Yeah they dated a while ago. She's so fucking gorgeous it makes me sick."

His ex?!?! They were so fucking friendly. Well, not every couple had an armageddon break up. But she seemed so nice and gorgeous, just like him. The perfect match. So how and why were they not together?

I was at a loss of what to say and do and was a bit glad I'd left their side.

"She kills your confidence too, huh?" she handed me my martini, which I'd yet to touch. "Here. Start on this."

I didn't hesitate to imbibe the drink.

"You seem like a nice girl, Valerie, but here's a word of advice, don't take him seriously. I love Henry, trust me, but he's not going to settle down, especially after what Madison did to him."

"What did she do?"

"You really are showing that you're out of town. She cheated on him with his best friend, who was also his writing partner."

"What?? She cheated on him?"

I tried to think of why anyone would cheat on a sweetheart like Henry, then who knew what his other sides were like?

"And anyway, Henry's hard to tie down. I know you already know he's a good kisser, but don't expect anything out of it other than fun. He's a notorious flirt. He can make anyone feel special and important. I'm just saying, play the game to have fun, but play it safe."

Why did I think that it was too late to play things safe? Was him telling me one of the most troubling things in his life just a game of fun? Why would he reveal that information to someone he just wanted to have fun with? Then again, Henry and I could seemingly talk about almost everything. Maybe that's why he could talk to me?

"You seem like a good girl. Don't mess with a guy from Hollywood, take it from me. I'm dating one who I know is fucking another girl as we speak. None of them will ever settle down or be faithful, even when they're 60. Hollywood men have peter pan syndrome. They want to be young forever. They will always want to be their glory twenty-year old selves and prove that they still got it. They like knowing that they can do anything if they try hard enough. So they will always look for something, anything new to conquer. It's more of an ego thing. Just know your place in their world and you will be good."

All of this was too hard to process. Everything that had happened between us happened in such a quick flurry that I hadn't really stopped to think about these things.

But what did it matter to me anyway? I knew what Henry and I were doing. I appreciated what Savannah was telling me, but it just didn't matter to me. I knew where I stood and he knew were he stood.

We knew what we were doing…I think.

What were we doing again?

"How do you know I'm a good girl?" I asked, my inexperience always making me defensive and Savannah looked at me like I'd just asked her how she knew one plus one was two. 

"You look scared to be here. I can tell this isn't your scene. But hey, looks can be deceiving, right? As long as you know what you're getting into, who am I to give you the warnings of doom? My only advice is, don't put too much stock into it. Take it from someone who made the mistake of falling for him once."

It's not like Savannah was talking out of her ass. He did say he wasn't looking for a relationship, yet he wouldn't stop kissing me. Why the hell was that edging it's way into my brain to distress me when I clearly had no intentions of being close to anyone relationship wise?

Kissing was just a physical act that I enjoyed with Henry. That's all. I also liked talking to him, this afternoon had proven.

"Do you still like him?" I asked Savannah.

"The guy can cook. What's not to still like?"

I stirred my drink, staring at it quietly. "Have you slept with him?"

A part of me appreciated that I could have an honest discussion with Savannah without censoring myself.

"Yep. All nice eight, thick, inches."

My cheeks colored and I asked breathlessly. "Eight inches?!"

"Maybe nine. Or maybe I'm just exaggerating. Whatever size he was, he knew how to use it, when, where, why. He's good. Pretty good. One of my all time favs."

I stared at Savannah speechlessly. 

"I was single and deluded at the time," she continued as she stared at the crowd, watching Henry too. "Said he wasn't looking for anything serious then wallah, all of a sudden he ends up with the model bitch Madison." She chuckled with a shake of her head. "Nice guys. They are such fucking lying jerks. They say looks don't matter and look who they end up with? I'd rather a guy who just says flat out, hey I only do blondes, but i'll do your kind for the moment, instead of saying 'I like all kinds of women…but somehow always end up with stick figure blonds!' Honest jerks are always better than nice jerks. Nice people don't tell you the truth, they tell you what you want to hear"

"Thanks for telling me, Savannah. Although, fuck you because you're beautiful so I don't know what you're talking about."

"Compared to Miranda?"

"Both of you are beautiful."

"I see you been hanging out around Henry a lot. Getting that 'be nice at all costs' home training. You sure he hasn't dicked you down yet?"

"I think I'd know if eight or nine thick inches had dicked me down."

Savannah's lilting laugh followed. "You know what Valerie? You're not so bad."

"You're not so bad yourself."

We drank quietly for a while.

"How can you still hang around him after all that though?"

She sighed and eyed me tiredly. "Okay, so maybe I was exaggerating about him being a jerk. Don't quote me. He's not really a jerk. He's just genuinely a nice, cool, person to hang around. It's so hard to be mad at him. And anyway, he never made any promises to me from the jump. I dug a hole by myself."

I nodded and eyed the crowd again.

"Well, I wasn't expecting a relationship from him anyway. I'm not a relationship person," I said with conviction. "I know I may look like it, but I'm really not. I don't have the time or the energy."

Savannah just shrugged and I knew she didn't care either way. The loud British voice from the bar sounded again and I looked over.

"Who is that? He looks just like Henry."

"Where the hell have you been? Haven't you heard of A-Live?"

"What? I think. I don't know?"

"The budding boy band? That song Love Me?"

The name sounded familiar. I didn't listen to the radio much or watch TV. I normally only heard new songs when I was shopping at the mall or at the club. When I continued to stare at her blankly she continued. "Henry produced and co-wrote the song?"

He'd produced and written many songs. I didn't know all of them.

"Well, I guess I can't blame you. Their fame is mostly limited to young internet girls. That's Ben. His younger brother."

I was genuinely floored. "What?!"

"Yep."

Savannah pulled out her phone, tapped a few keys and showed me another version of Henry, only with blue eyes and black curly hair. He had dimples too and that same boyish grin.

"Wow," I said in shock."How old is he?"

"Twenty."

We now both watched as he laughed around with his friends. I could have mistaken them for identical twins. Even their mannerisms were hauntingly alike. The faces they made when they laughed, the way they smiled, although it was obvious that Ben was the more animated of the two, with Henry the more mellowed version. Ben looked like he could bounce off the walls at any moment.

So I'd just learned that his ex was a model and the younger brother he told me he had was in a huge boy band? Why hadn't Ella mentioned this to me? To be fair, she only really interacted with Henry whenever I did, which hadn't been much. I guess Peter hadn't mentioned it?

When I had searched Henry's profile online, I didn't remember reading anything about his brother. Maybe there'd been a line about it and I skimmed over. I'd honestly been more interested about his career and what songs he'd done than anything else really. I needed to go back and research.

"Need another shot? You look fucking lost."

I just realized that I'd finished my martini. For some reason, I had a good hunch that this was going to be a long night.

"I'll take another…"

Chapter 9

"You've never had an orgasm? Like, never? At 26?"

"Never." I'm not sure how we got to that conversation and I'm not sure how I divulged it to someone I just started talking to, then when I glanced at the tall drink in front of me, I knew how. Alcohol.

"What is wrong with your life?!?!" Savannah asked in disbelief. She even seemed distraught by the mere thought.

I shrugged and sipped on my Long Island. I mentally professed that this would be my last one. I don't even think I could finish it.

It was meant to be for Henry. After talking a bit with Savannah I decided to go back and find Henry so that he wouldn't have to worry about my whereabouts. Only when I tried to go find him, he was no longer in the same spot. I realized then that at least standing at the bar I felt secure as long as I could see him from my vantage but now I felt kind of vulnerable and it was all my fault. When I checked my phone I saw that he'd texted me three times but I hadn't even noticed it, which was surprising because my phone was on vibrate and was in my pant pockets.

Henry: Hey, don’t walk away like that again. Hurry back, will you? I don't need a drink either

A few minutes later he sent: K. Getting worried. Where are you?

And a while later he sent.

Henry: Shouldn't have let you walk away. I'm worried like hell now.

Feeling horrible for causing him worry, I responded.

Valerie: I's sorRy Hen. At bar. Comin

Texting was a chore and a half because I was clearly very inebriated. I'd never gotten a double shot anything and they were hitting me hard. His response text came back instantaneously.

Henry: No. Stay. I'll come. There are three bars. Which one are you at?

I looked around blearily and could only describe it as the one next to the VIP section.

Henry: Coming. Don't move

"Who was that?" Savannah asked invasively. She had to be on her ninth drink. Some guy was standing behind her who I'm sure wasn't her boyfriend.

Thankfully I didn't have to answer cause the guy spun her around to grind against her front. I'd been propositioned a couple of times, but my average clothes seemed to discourage them and to be honest I preferred it that way. I'd wasted an entire night I could have spent with Henry by avoiding him because of those stupid, pitiful insecurities.

I was laying my head in my hands, wondering why I'd acted so stupidly. Why did I leave his side especially when I didn't even know this place? Why always question my decisions after fucking making them every single time I did something dumb? It's no wonder  Ella was so tired of me. I was tired of myself and I was tired of telling myself that I had to change.

I was bumped into and soon heard Savannah start on about her boyfriend Mark.

With my throbbing head in my hands and my elbows on the bar counter, I was barely following her until I suddenly felt warm arms snaking around my waist along with the deep voice that always made me lost my sanity.

"Might I know why you never came back to me?"

I turned my heavy head to my side and saw Henry glancing down at me with relief, but also a frown he was trying hard to keep off. I suddenly had a strong urge to kiss him.

I smiled weakly at him. "Walker…"

"Hey Henry!" Savannah's voice pierced behind me and I winced.

Henry's frown turned to a straight, unimpressed line, the light in his eyes dying out as he looked at her. 

"I see who you've been hanging out with…" he murmured tonelessly, his hold on me more firm as he drew me closer to him.

"She's fucking awesome by the way." Savannah patted my back. "I like her."

"How much did you give her to drink?" The slight reproach in Henry's tone was something I'd never heard. His behavior was also very guarded. I'd not seen him treat anyone like that.

"How much did I give her?" Savannah was clearly taken aback by his behavior which I'm sure not many people got. "You mean how much did she take? She's a grown woman Henry." Savannah huffed. I dizzily watched her turn away from him, snaking through the crowd.

I wondered what her caustic reaction was about. Something told me there was a little more to their friendship than what I was seeing on the surface. While we were at the bar discussing a plethora of subjects, Savannah told me how she met Henry--through her brother. They'd been childhood friends both with an interest in music, and Savannah said she was always the girl in the background that had a crush on him but was never taken seriously until she was much older. By seriously, she meant a short 'hook up' stint they had.

It made me a bit conflicted. She professed she had no problem with me hooking up with Henry, certain it would be a short fling that would fizzle out before next week began, so she had no problem telling me this information. Still, I began to feel strange being the one she was telling, but with both of us having our guards down, there was barely a filter in our discussion. Except for how irritable she became when I asked about her brother.

I had a strong feeling that Savannah still had feelings for Henry, but I guess that went without saying.

I looked from the crowd at Henry who was busily looking at his phone and felt my nipples hardening at his concentrated expression. It never failed to get me hot and bothered. But more importantly, I felt like I'd ruined the night. How many things had I ruined around him, would apologizing even mean anything at this point?

Constant apologies were a norm in my life. When you grew up constantly being told what you were always doing wrong, what else were you supposed to do?

"I'm sorry, Henry. Are you mad at me?" I felt pitiful even as I asked. Annoyed with myself. I don't even know why he kept giving me chances at this point.

"What?" Henry asked distractedly, almost scowling at his phone. Whoever he was texting obviously had him in a bad mood.

"I said I was sorry if I pissed you off…" I repeated and when he stashed his phone away, he focused on me like I was the only one in the room. It made me blush and nearly attempt to hide under the stool I was sitting on. Sometimes I didn't think I could handle him.

He searched my face and I lowered my gaze from his, feeling bad over my behavior. I heard him sighing as he spoke, his voice without the hard edge he had when talking to Savannah. 

"No. Just don't leave like that again. I shouldn’t have let you leave." He trapped my chin and tilted my head back, forcing my eyes on him. "Are you okay?"

"Mmm.." I nodded and Henry's eyes dropped to my lips and lingered. A flurry of desire went through me as I knew what crossed his mind.

"Are you?" I asked, in disbelief over how breathless he could quickly get me.

He lowered his head as he murmured. "I'm fine. I think we should leave now."

My glazed over eyes drifted closed as I got ready for the kiss.

"Chase!!!"

Out of the blue, Henry staggered forward but quickly placed a cautious hand on the bar, catching himself before he could topple over me. His eyes were wide in shock as an arm curled around his neck and legs wrapped around his waist from behind.

When the intruder finally hopped back and Henry straightened to look over his shoulder, I saw that it was his brother, Ben.

As startled as he was, Henry couldn't conceal the joy lighting up his eyes as his brother hauled himself at him for a hug. He was probably an inch shorter than Henry, I noted as the two hugged.

"Why didn't you tell me you'd be here today?" There was slight irritation lacing Henry's voice, but it couldn't override the joy he obviously felt over seeing family.

"Didn't know you'd be here either, bro," Ben quipped and I was once again struck by how identical they were.

"What are you doing here? Don't you guys have a show early morning?"

I enjoyed seeing Henry's 'no-nonsense' expression that most protective older brothers had over their younger siblings.

"Don't start with me." Ben covered his unworried lopsided grin bringing the long beer can to his mouth. After a sound gulp, he looped an arm over Henry's shoulder, looking up at him adoringly. "Good to see you though, man. I didn't think you'd be here early."

Henry's features softened and he fought a smile. The devotion for his brother was clear as he mirrored his admiration.

"It was last minute." Henry explained and reached for me but was cut off.

"Still coming to the show?" Ben's blue eyes were so hopeful and although they looked like twins I truly saw the youth in him compared to Henry.

"Of course." He looked in my direction. "I'd like you to meet Valerie."

Ben's eyes sought mine and his lazy smirk widened as he held his hand out to me. "Hello Val Heroine."

Ben's eyes were swimming. He was as drunk as a skunk. Henry's eyes widened and I could tell he was embarrassed as he shoved him on his shoulder but had to catch him right after because he was off balance. 

"Really, Ben?" he exclaimed disapprovingly.

At my laugh, Henry's defensiveness lowered a tad, but he still shook his head and rolled his eyes at his brother.

"You sound the same. It's creepy as hell," I tactlessly said, still trying my hardest to hold my head up.

"We get that a lot," they said in unison and while Ben laughed, Henry just shook his head with a smile.

"She's so fucking fit," Ben said while looking behind me, already having lost interest in whoever I was. It came to my attention that his brother was the only person he'd bothered to introduce me to. I didn't know how to read that.

I looked over my shoulder to see who Ben was talking about, not particularly sure what 'fit' meant, but by the hungry look in his eyes I'm sure it was something good. When I saw he was talking about Savannah, I wasn't surprised because she was a stunner.

Henry moved his lips to his brother's ear and I couldn't hear what he said, but his features were slightly hardened when he pulled back.

"You don't trust someone you grew up with?" Ben asked loudly, the wideness of his eyes showing me that he was still very wet behind the ears about many social situations in this town. Like me.

Henry sighed and shook his head impatiently at his brother's incapability to be discreet. It seemed this was a conversation he didn't want to have around me but Henry went on somberly as if realizing there was really no use since Ben was in a no-holds-barred phase of drinking. 

Henry could have brought it up another time but it seemed imperative enough for him to bring it up now at the risk of me hearing.

"She's changed," he said simply.

Ben rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Everyone who comes to Hollywood changes."

"And you better not," Henry admonished in a castigating tone that made Ben pause in all his intoxication.

"Do we have to have this conversation here? Now?" Ben cringed, taking another swig of beer. "I'm just having fun for Pete's sake."

Henry eyed the beer can disdainfully, then up at his brother critically before sighing with resignation.

"Yeah well. Watch out. You're hammered enough as it is," Henry said grimly.

Clearly happy that Henry was finally off his back, Ben gave him a parting pat on the back. Suddenly remembering my presence, his eyes swung my way and he grinned, bright eyed. "Well Valerie with no other title, my friends are calling. Nice to meet you."

I ignored the perturbed look Henry shot him and smiled. "Nice to meet you too--"

"Oh my god!! Could you two take a picture with us?!?"

My view of the guys was obscured by four young women who bulldozed them, unable to keep still. One of them started to cry profusely in front of Ben, who was soaking it all up. He wore an empathizing expression  as he rounded her up into a hug while she gushed to him. Ben handled it like a pro.

On the other hand, Henry tried to console the girl too but was being badgered by the others. He seemed stuck in a rut trying to placate the other girls who gushed about how he was the hottest older brother on earth, all while trying to catch my attention.

I waved him off with an assuring smile while mouthing. "Go on. It's okay."

It's not like he had a choice, Ben pulled him in for the picture and he plastered a smile on his face as he accommodated them. The only problem is they attracted more fans of Ben who wanted pictures with both of them. The young women were so eager to get their picture they blocked me from them, and that's when Savannah dragged me from my chair.

"Hey, let's go have fun with some ice," Savannah said in hushed tones. I couldn't truly understand what she was saying, she'd grabbed me off the stool so fast it made my head spin and I had to lean against her because I nearly fell.

"Ice? What's that?" I stumbled over my unsteady feet, nearly knocking both Savannah and I down. My question was so funny and amusing to her she couldn't stop laughing.

"You crack me up, Val."

"Wait, Savannah, hold on. I can't leave Henry--"

"Hey."

A stronger hold on my other wrist stopped me and I turned to find Henry. He gently gathered me up against him, and the leery look he gave Savannah earlier back.

"We're leaving," he told her tersely and her eyes darted to his hand over mine. The jealousy that hit her features surprised me, mirroring the look she had when she walked in on us kissing at Margaret's. I started to feel extremely dumb for thinking we could just talk normally in a friendly manner.

"Who did you come with?" Henry asked her next, his voice a bit relaxed, but that made Savannah react like a hissing cat.

"Like you fucking care." Her eyes dropped to me. "Don't forget, Valerie. Hollywood. Have fun while it lasts."

I watched in confusion as Savannah got swallowed by the crowd as she left us.

"What the hell does that mean?" Henry asked at her departing figure. I looked up at him, suddenly very weary and confused. When he felt my gaze he looked down at me, his features softening into a frown.

"I'm sorry."

I didn’t know what he was sorry for. I'm the one who ran off like a chicken without a head when I saw his beautiful ex. With my defenses down though I didn't feel the need to escape him when I thought of her. Instinct made my hands lock at his nape like I had a right to do so. Like he was mine to do so.

"Why?" My head lolled back as I gazed up at him with eyes probably glazed over from inebriation, enjoying his supreme height over mine.

His eyes became less contrite at my openness and his arms snaked around my waist. "About tonight. I didn't know my brother would be here."

"He's cuter than you," I giggled for no reason and Henry's eyes narrowed though the dimple on his left cheek deepened as he broke into a genuine smile. My heart fluttered. I think I lived for that dimple.

"Why are you so damn cute, Valerie?" there was a bit of frustration in his voice as he hungrily eyed my lips.

"Your brother is in a boy band," I said, idly admiring his neck. Henry nodded.

"His fans are…dedicated. Wherever he goes, they follow. It wasn't meant to be like this, I swear."

He was so cute when he was apologizing. I smiled as I snuggled closer to him. By the way his eyes lit up he could tell I was enjoying this very much. I was just trying to catch up on things I felt I'd missed out on, like having your arms around a guy's neck like he was yours. I'd just pretend for now that he was.

"What was it meant to be like?" I asked.

"More fun. You ready to leave?" he asked next, looking a bit preoccupied himself.

"Nope.  I haven't spent time with you here."

"We can do that elsewhere."

I playfully tried to push him away from me.

"Why, hiding me from the other titleless women of yours?" I teased, then put my hand over my mouth. Obviously Ben's words still stuck with me.

I thought he would be put off by my words but his eyes only widened in surprise, then mild amusement. He smirked and moved towards me, only for me to press my palm against his chest as I backed up.

"I have to go pee," I told him as I lazily turned my head back and forth hoping I'd find it.

"Come on."

Henry guided me to the restroom, obviously knowledgeable about this place. The restrooms were a sight, with friends helping each other walk. I walked by a stall where I was pretty sure they were sniffing cocaine. I'd never been faced with anything like this and hurried out when I was done. I was relieved when I found Henry waiting outside, a girl already trying to talk to him.

He hadn't noticed me coming out, so I just stop there waiting with my hands docilely behind me. He looked like he was politely listening to what the woman had to say as she prattled probably the same sentiments those women were earlier. He finally looked towards the female restrooms as though waiting for me to come out, and when he saw me, he excused himself from the woman who didn't look too pleased about him leaving her. When he started for me, I playfully took a step back, making Henry pause. Then a slow smirk lifted the left side of his lips and a spark lit his eyes as he began to pursue me. I kept backing up until there was no room behind me. When I tried to sidestep to my escape, Henry blocked me, both hands stamped on either wall. I was literally cornered, and he loomed over me while I shrank beneath him. I was throbbing and aching all over. I wanted him. Badly. More than I'd ever wanted anyone else.

"Now where were you running to?"  he asked, his eyes hotly looking over me. He made me feel so shy I lifted the collar of my t-shirt up till my nose to conceal my blushing cheeks. Henry chortled softly, then leaned down, making my heart race. Heavily lidded, he pressed his lips against mine. The sensation the fabric gave me when he brushed his lips against mine made me shudder and squirm.

I didn't know what to expect when Henry lifted his lips, brushing them at the tip of my nose. He then used his teeth to peel off the collar from covering my face, gently tugging it down, lowering his neck with the cloth until his lips were right at my collar bone. I closed my eyes, stiffening as his tongue danced around the earlier hickey he gave me. He kissed his way up my neck, alternating to one side of my neck with each kiss, rising till he kissed the lips he'd wanted to reveal so much.

With a last ounce of my strength, only because I knew I couldn't handle it, I shook my head, marring the attempt of his nibbling lips. "Mm. Mm."

"Why not?" Henry asked in an easy-going manner, a small smirk on his lips.

"What do you see me as?" I found myself asking stupidly and his eyebrows lifted, creasing his brow.

"What?" Henry asked in genuine surprise and I looked to my side avoidantly.

I closed my eyes and started to move my head from side to side and snap my fingers merrily when a Ciara song came on. "This is my song. My bodyyy is your partyyyy."

"How many pints have you had, Valerie?" Henry asked instead. I didn't answer him and continued to dance in my own little world. I suddenly felt a pair of warm lips on my ear and a deep voice that made me jump.

"Valerie..." the ticklish sensation made me laugh and I opened my eyes to find his eyes full of humor over how I was behaving.

"What?"

"How much have you had to drink?" he asked a bit more seriously even though it was obviously hard for him not to let the lust in his eyes burn into me. That very lust made me as hot as it made me circumspect. So I was the girl of the week, as Savannah had said. I shouldn't have taken her words as gospel but for some reason looking at Henry in his beautiful, long-lashed eyes made me wonder.

"Am I a fucking…like rebound?" I held my heavy head in my other hand and continued distressfully, aware but not really careful about the words I was spewing. "Or like a rag doll? I don't know…I don't care. Just want to know…I don't want to be used again. I want apples. Apple pie. I haven't had dessert in a while, have you?"

Henry was gnawing his lip and rested his forearm right above my head against the wall. "You're seriously fucked right now"

"Not yet."

Henry lifted his eyebrows, obviously surprised by my uncharacteristic speech. He released his smirking bottom lip and watched me with eyes that danced in fascination. Then his expression turned into one of deliberation. He did that a lot and I was getting used to it.

Was he trying to figure me out? I wasn't used to that, except for this one time. It made me close my eyes and try to get lost in the music because I didn't want to let the negative thoughts destroy what I thought of Henry. I was mouthing the words imagining that I was sexy enough to sing them to Henry, and I helplessly reopened my eyes, hoping those eyes of intrigue were still watching me: they were.

Coming to his own private conclusion, Henry smirked, shaking his head with his head bowed.

"Sweet, sweet, Valerie, don't say things like that to me." His hands found my waist as he stepped closer to me, his touch making me suck my breath even in my influenced state. Henry's green eyes singed into mine as he went on.

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into."

A trickle of anticipation and trepidation went through me and I stopped dancing. He'd reclaimed his turf once again, reducing me to a pile of nerves that didn't know how to coordinate themselves around him. I needed some ground. I didn't like how he made me feel like I was losing to him, falling weak to his whims.

It wasn't really hard to do. With that irresistible look in his eyes, and with my guard lowered to extreme unthreatening levels, I couldn't hide how much I wanted Henry. In that moment I indulged myself in his eyes that sparkled with a want and fire that seemed ready to scorch my clothes off, bounteous hair in need of touching, pouty lip asking for a kissing, and exposed neck that screamed for a touching and just pretended that all those belonged to me.

Moreso the poignant charisma, that thing about Henry Walkers that kept you wanting more; I pretended that it was all mine.

"I'm being honest." I teasingly coiled a couple strands around my finger eying him in a seductive manner I hadn't freely done with anyone but one person in my life ever, mostly only in my fantasies.

I said to him something I could only say in my dreams. "I haven't been fucked. I want to be fucked." I paused then added fearlessly. "By you."

The furnace in Henry's eyes grew, his jaw flexing sporadically. His hands smoothing down to my hips and squeezing and I sucked in a breath when he pressed his hardness against my belly.

"You don't want me to do that, pretty girl," he said matter-of-factly, his features unnaturally serious.

I gulped hard and pressed my back against the wall, putting some distance between us. I shifted my weight from one side to the other, and lifted my chin, trying my hardest to mask my mounting anxiety but moreso anticipation. I had never wanted something, someone so much, and it scared me.

"Or what? The walls will come tumbling down?"

"You have no idea," Henry grumbled with a slow shake of his head, making my chest twist with anticipation. A small, helpless sound that resounded how I truly felt--weak, helpless vulnerable, but desirable--escaped my lips.

He pressed his lips on the corner of my parted lips, then gently worked small kisses along my bottom lip. He caught my lip in his teeth, pulling and letting go to watch it bounce back. He seemed to enjoy this obscene gesture, his eyes smirking as he rubbed his lips against mine.

"You were right when you said I need to be careful around you. You're the dangerous kind."

I stared at him unable to say another word.

"The spark in your eyes that you try to fight. Those freckles. Your smile." His lips ghosted over mine and his voice became lower and gravelly.

"And you taste wonderful..."

His tongue plunged possessively into my mouth. His kiss was so confident, like he knew no one else could have me weakening like this, and he reveled in the power he had over me if only for those moments.

I wasn't okay with this. Yet, I wanted this so much. I clutched onto his collar, pulling him closer to me, and he squeezed my hips, surprising me when he pressed his hardness against my stomach. I moaned into his mouth, shuddering all over. Henry pulled away from me and our foreheads remained touching.

"Let's get out of here," Henry murmured and I gulped hard and nodded as I let him position me to walk in front of him. My cheeks still burned from feeling him on me, reminding me of Savannah's words about what size he allegedly was but mostly how he used it. I felt a bit guilty thinking of him so lewdly but this was one of the few times someone I was physically attracted to showed me any kind of interest and I was trying not to lose my mind. I realized him being generally a nice guy, especially when he took the time out to help out the homeless guy, those were the things that made me want Henry Walker more.

When he suggested we get out of there and have fun, what exactly did he mean? His hand was on my womb where I'd felt him, and suggestive images flashed through my mind. I tried to think of other things to keep me from being nervous and thinking too hard about everything.

"Savannah seems nicer than I thought, but she's kind of random."

Henry didn't hear me and lowered his head till his ear was by my face. That's when I started to notice a couple of questioning, curious glances flashing me and Henry's way. I wasn't so sure I liked the attention. Trying not to focus on them, I repeated what I'd said to Henry, only for him to take a moment to respond.

"Where was she taking you earlier anyway?" he asked conversationally and I shrugged.

"She said we should get some ice or something but I didn't understand what she was talking about."

Henry stopped and his hands dropped from me.

"She said what?"

The gruffness in Henry's tone made me turn around to find his brow wrinkled while he eyed me in trepidation. After I repeated what I said, I witnessed Henry's demeanor doing a complete 180.

His eyebrows knotted like something was troubling him and he gnawed on his bottom lip.

"Have fun with what?" he asked, slower this time, his voice deep as he watched me studiously. I felt a bit uneasy but figured maybe he thought I was saying something else than what I truly meant.

"I said she wanted have fun with some Ice…"

Henry looked at me in disbelief, shaking his head and combing his fingers through his hair in biting frustration. "Fuck…"

"What's wrong?"

He cupped my neck and assessed every facet of my face, like a doctor trying to diagnose their patient. "How do you feel right now do you feel restless? Is your heart racing? How long ago did she get you those drinks?"

"…what?"

"Answer me," he demanded roughly and a trickle of fear went through me. I didn't like his sudden change in attitude and it didn't bring the best of memories to me. I tried to step away from him but his hold was unyielding, his eyes demanding.

"Wh…why are you talking to me like this…"

"How do you feel right now?" he reiterated impatiently.

"Ambushed!" When I tried to pry his hands from me, that was when he finally released me.

"Valerie…" he murmured impatiently. "How long ago did she start giving you those drinks?"

"When I left you to go to the bar," I answered, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable.

"Do you feel different?" he asked next.

"No, I just feel really drunk," I answered, trying not to let my irritation show.

"Are you sure?" he pressed as he eyed me in a cross between distress and concern. He was making me freak out.

"Yes I'm sure! What's wrong now?" I was starting to lose my cool too.

Henry continued to eye me suspiciously, like he didn't believe me.

I folded my arms around myself, inching away from him. "I'm ready to leave."

"Valerie--" I turned away from him and started to head out. He muttered another frustrated curse but I felt him close behind me as we both exited.

***

He looked really upset and angry, so much that he couldn't even look at me. He was looking out the window, brown wispy curls over his face with his cutting jaw creating a deep shadow on his virile neck where a sharp instances of light would blare every time we passed a street light.

"How do you feel now?" Henry asked for the umpteenth time and this time I let my irritation show because he was being so obtuse about it.

"I feel fine, Henry. If you have something you want to say, then just say it."

He held my gaze with his, which ventured between annoyed and worried, but he simply just looked out the window again. I sighed and leaned my head against the windowpane.

"You don't know what ice is? Did you never go to college parties?"

"Not really."

Henry was a bit stunned looking at me like he was wondering what kind of sheltered life I had lived, which always made me a bit embarrassed whenever people didn't hide their shock. He finally looked away from me and back out the window.

"What's ice?" I asked, remembering that he hadn't answered me when I'd asked.

"Methamphetamines."

My eyes widened in surprise and I wondered how I'd never even heard of that. Ever. In my life.

Henry sighed gruffly, shifting uneasily and looking out the window. A slight panic began to attack me as I wondered if Savannah spiked my drink, but then I'd seen her the entire time she ordered a drink for me. Not once had I seen her add anything to the drink but now I felt more out of my element than before.

"It takes maybe two to three hours to settle, that's why I wanted to know when she started giving you the drinks. You might have been so drunk by the time she gave you what, your fourth one? How many did you have?"

"I-I think five. But the last two I got on my own…" I answered quietly. The taxi ride was without conversation for the next few minutes when Henry sighed heavily.

"I think I overreacted. Just, if anything happened to you, I obviously wouldn't be able to forgive myself." He looked at me dubiously. "You don't do drugs, do you?"

"No! I never have. I feel I should know what Ice is but I never, I never really hang out with people. I never used to go to those kinds of high school or college parties. Ella can be very protective and has always been over me so she never really put me in those situations though I'm sure she would know. And my parents, well they mostly just cared about me staying focused on school so getting around them to go to those things was hard and well, in college I always feared I'd be the butt of jokes cause of my weight so I never…"

I felt his gaze on me as I stared at my hands, wondering what would have happened had I gone with Savannah. I know typically I would have said no, but I was pretty drunk at that time, especially compared to now when some of the alcohol had worn off.

I peered at Henry who was now looking out the window again. "Do you do drugs?"

He looked at me directly in the eye and shook his head. "No."

I nodded, seeing that he was very earnest and serious about his answer. I focused on my twiddling thumbs when Henry reached across the dark backseat and took my hand into his, making me look up at him.

"Valerie, believe me, tonight was not meant to happen like that. I swear on my life." He vowed his eyes so pained they were beseeching. I nodded and squeezed his hand to show him that I wouldn’t hold anything against him. Sighing, Henry swung his gaze back to the amazing nightscape of West Hollywood we drove by.

"The Savannah I've seen lately is not the Savannah I grew up with," he murmured, the emptiness in his voice a little bit scary to hear.

"How long have you known her?" I asked curiously.

"Since we were fifteen."

"What happened to her?"

Henry didn't say anything and I realized maybe I shouldn't have asked. There was a distance in his voice that made me infer that he somehow wanted to detach himself from Savannah. Is that why he'd looked at her like that? He surprised me when he finally spoke.

"Things didn't work out the way she wanted, her acting career hasn't taken off yet and she's taking it very hard. I'm sorry I'd rather just not discuss it in detail if that's okay." I knew he didn't want to give any details and I wondered if drugs was what he meant by 'taking it hard'. I knew how hard it was to watch someone you thought you knew changing right before your eyes and not being able to put a stop to it.

I got the feeling that Henry was not the type to discuss other people's personal turmoil as his reason for not wanting to dig deeper in the conversation and I actually respected that about him. Too many people were quick to divulge other people's secrets, especially the debilitating ones. I'd had many so called friends discussing my weight and appearance whenever I turned my back so I really valued people who didn’t gossip.

"Okay. I understand," I said quietly, looking down at our linked hands, taking great comfort in how warm and large his hand was around mine. It's very hard when you're naturally an affectionate person but men act like you're a leper when you want to touch them anywhere but their dick. That was always my problem. 'Suck my dick' was about as much green light I got to touch guys, but I never actually did any of it. I may have not had enough love for myself growing up, but at least I had some self-respect.

Because Henry had shown me he had some attraction to me, I felt I had leeway to show him affection, to be my natural self.

I lifted his hand and lightly kissed the knuckles. I felt Henry's eyes on me but didn't look up. I kissed my way up the tattooed skin of his forearm.

"Val?" Henry murmured, his throaty voice a cross between confusion and lust.

Thoughtlessly, I moved to straddle him, and I still felt his eyes fixated on me as I lightly nipped his arm through his denim, up to his broad shoulder. All this time, my heart was thumping hard against my chest. I'd never been a seductress, so I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I just let my instincts guide me, and all my instincts wanted to do was feel him over. I kept forging on with the hope that I didn't look stupid. I felt a bit dumb, but I was more concerned with how good he felt under my hands and on my lips than anything else.

Henry's shoulders flexed under my palms when his hands instinctually slid up to my waist once I was on top of him. I could feel his fingertips singeing through my clothing. He was as hot as I was.

The sight of his muscular neck in the occasional shafts of light increased the ache of my tightening nipples. I dove for his neck, placing light kisses on the smooth, hard skin.

Henry sucked in a breath the moment my lips landed on his heated skin, his fingers depressing into my waist.

"Val…" he hitched with failing restraint. The mere thought that I could have such an effect on a man like him made me wetter. And hungrier.  I flicked my dainty tongue feather lightly on his skin making Henry groan. I boldy began to suck lightly on him, savoring him. He tasted better than I imagined.

The strength of the feeling for how much I wanted him scared me.

"Valerie," he groaned now warningly and I moaned as I took small, insatiable bites across his neck over to the other side, where his new tattoo was. My restless hands slipped under his shirtfront and I felt for his firm chest, squeezing the firm skin. My shaky fingers then lowered to his hard nipple and Henry tensed and moaned. I insatiably sought his jaw when my lips whisked by it and began sucking the solid skin.

"Don't do this…" he whispered, his control steadily dissipating. It was far too late for me. I had lost control. I was so far gone with everything about this man. He made me crazy. All my inhibitions and following dad's rules of 'don't you dare mess with men seriously until you own your own company and live in your own house…in addition to having your own property' went out the window. Who would ever listen to that anyway with Henry Walker beneath them panting and weak?

"Stop."

Holding me by the hips, Henry gently moved me away from him and that's when reality hit.

I'd heard this before, and my entire demeanor changed in a matter of seconds. I'd gone from being as limp and wanton as a wet noodle to straight as a ramrod. I immediately assumed that it was him having that attitude most guys threw at me all my life because of my weight and timidly started to pull away from him. He must have seen the hurt and uncertainty in my eyes. Closing the distance between us, Henry gave me a deep, reassuring kiss.

The kiss ended with a loud separation and Henry pressed his forehead against mine, his eyes clutched tight as if it pained him to voice those words. He drafted heavy breaths in as he tried to regain some kind of control.

"You don't want me right now, Valerie. Please. Trust me," he said coarsely, pushing each word out of him like it was a struggle with his eyes still closed as though if he opened them and looked at me he would lose it.

"Why so cryptic, are you a vampire?" I asked dryly and Henry smirked at my jab, his eyes still closed. I felt a bit dejected, because I'd been told many times before how I wasn't capable of being sexy or wasn't worth partaking in anything remotely sexy. I started to scoot off of him. "Whatever Henry--"

"I want it hard and rough right now, because I'm still pretty angry at myself for bringing you here and it turning out like this," He opened his eyes, impossibly dark and intense. "And I don't think you're a hard and rough kind of girl."

I stared back at him, not knowing what to say at first. My cheeks were flaming as images of Henry doing it hard and rough flashed through my mind. It was one of my fantasies to be taken completely by someone I wanted it from. To be wanted so badly I ended up with evidence, bruises from the amount of need. In my only relationship, I hadn't gotten it. I was accused of being 'too horny' or 'wanting sex too much' when I wasn't the type who could 'do all the desirable things possible' when it came tos ex. The thoughts made me defensive.

"You don't know me too well to know what kind of girl I am." There was a small bite in my tone and I couldn't believe how petulant I was being, like a little kid who didn't get a nice cool popsicle that had been waved in front of her on a hot summer day. Then I remembered my initial reason for comforting him was just for him, though I hadn't anticipated my reaction to him. My body was still ablaze and I was still throbbing for him. No one had ever made me feel like this.

Henry was amused by the slight attitude in my tone and sat back. With his elbow rested on the door, he rubbed his bottom smirking lip as he analyzed me.  His other hand still rested firmly on my hip.

"When's the last time you had sex?"  he inquired as he ran his gaze down to my chest, to my womb, then back up. The hungry gaze would have excited me if the question didn't set me off kilter.

I broke eye contact because I distinctively remembered my last time almost two years ago and also an 'almost' situation nearly 6 months ago of a guy I met at a club.

His eyes burned as he stared at my lips. "Have you even ever?"

The accusing eyes I shot at him were answer enough and I made to get off of him but Henry held me in place, his smirk reached his eyes while scanning my face. I felt put on the spot and squirmed a little, suddenly wanting to hide.

"You're not hard and rough, Val," Henry concluded.

"How do you know?"

"I know what a woman is like, just from her walk. You walk like a very…nice girl." He brushed some of the strands that fell over my face when I lowered my head. Good meant inexperienced.

"Maybe one day…when you're ready. I can take you there. Would you like me to?"

I couldn't say anything. I'd officially lost my voice.

He surprised me when he leaned forward, tilting his head till his searching lips found mine and kissed delicately as if he was afraid of breaking me or something.

Henry linked my hands with his as he sat back, rubbing circles at the center of my palms, sending shivers through me.

"I have a new game I'd like to play with you…" Henry suggested, looking rather pleased by thunderstruck reaction.

"What game?" I practically croaked. I suddenly felt very nervous.

"The imagine game." his smirk turned wicked as he tilted his head inquiringly. "Tell me, what do you fantasize about Valerie?"

I was stumped and blushing fiercely.

I opened my mouth and dropped my gaze cause I didn't know what to say. I'd never told anyone my fantasies.

"Come love. Tell me. You can trust me…"

The sensations he was giving me with his thumb were very distracting and his voice sent shivers down my spine. All I could do was gnaw at my bottom lip, unable to look him in the eye.

"Do you know what mine is?"

I lifted my gaze to him, staring at him wide eyed, breathing deeply through my parted lips.

"It excites me thinking of you grabbing the sheets when I'm between your sweet thighs, tasting you. Or hearing you screaming at the top of your lungs while I'm buried deep inside you just because you know you can do it comfortably around me. Better yet, have you leave marks on my back from clinging on tightly…"

Henry pulled me closer until I was directly on top of him. I gasped and my eyes closed, an electrical shock zapping through me when I felt his bulge snug between my thighs. I bit my lip as my already throbbing center rested on top of his hardness. My fingers curled painfully into his shoulders and Henry moaned in front of me.

"Or having you on top of me," he whispered and I bit a whimper when he pressed me down onto him, spiraling sensations through me that made me arch into him. "Riding me with all the confidence in the world because you trust me more than you've ever trusted anyone else. "

"Henry…"

"Nothing gets me harder, Valerie…"

We stared at each other, only able to hear each other's breaths on the quiet ride. I was throbbing on top of him, I knew he could feel me. The motions of his thumb stroking my palms had stopped. I wanted to move closer to him, but I was frozen.

As if reading my mind, Henry pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around me while nipping at my shoulder and began slow, torturous undulations into me. While sighing my name, Henry's lips melded with mine in hot, wet kisses.

My hands were shaky but I began to blindly unbutton Henry's shirt when we were suddenly interrupted.

"We're here," the taxi driver told us and I jumped away from Henry, suddenly aware of the world. Henry, keeping his eyes closed sat back heavily, breathing ruggedly, his arms relaxing while he simply just held my hips.

"Are you guys getting out or what? I got other places to be."

This forced Henry and I to pay the guy and mobilize out of the car, which was difficult for me because I was trembling all over.

Time had proven that only he could get me to be like this.

I think I was going to dub what he was doing to me the Henry Walker Effect.

Chapter 10

I never realized how wired up and tired I was until I fell asleep on the plane. Not before Henry basically force fed me water when we were waiting to board our flight, not wanting me to wake up with a bad hangover. It got to a point where I was so tired the water was practically dribbling from my mouth, so Henry let me be and I slept on his shoulder. I grudgingly woke up when we arrived back to Tilden and during that time I gave Henry my address. He keyed it in his phone when we were in his car and he drove me home, with me so exhausted I fell asleep again.

"Do you have the house keys?" he asked me forty minutes later after helping me out of the car.

Henry was holding me from behind. I drowsily fished my pockets and gave them to him without question. Thankfully the light in the condo vestibule was on. Ella always left it on if I came home after her and vice versa. I groggily told him where my room was and Henry sat me on the bed.

"Where are your night shirts?" he asked, squatted in front of me.

"It's okay." I slept on my side over the comforter. "I just want to sleep." I said while subconsciously pulling my shirt down. I heard him walking around and was honestly too tired to care if he was going through my stuff.

"Come on." I heard and felt a hand gently trying to move me to the other side of the bed. I learned he wasn't in fact going through my things but had only walked to the other side of the bed to peel the comforter and bedsheets for me to get into. I was stubborn at first because of being so tired but was eventually grateful when the cool sheets hit my skin as Henry tucked me in.

"You feeling okay?" Henry asked gently as he sat at the edge of the bed, folding one leg with his other   on the floor. He leaned over my frame, planting one hand behind me. I knew he was still trying to make sure I wasn't drugged. He probably knew that I wasn't, as beat as I was. I nodded anyway, secretly reveling in being cared for like this.

"Sorry I ruined your night," he said quietly, gently removing his orange beanie from my head. He then gently pushed his fingers through my hair and massaged my scalp with the digits of his fingers, unknowingly lulling me to a comfortable sleep. I'm not sure how long he did this, but I soon felt a hand delicately touching my face. He kissed my cheek lightly.

"Goodnight, Valerie," was the last thing I heard in a whisper before falling asleep.



***



It's like I had only blinked the next time I was woken up by my alarm. I wish I'd never woken up because I felt awful. My head was pounding but what got me most was how parched my throat was. My limbs ached all from dehydration and I rued not listening to Henry and drinking as much water as possible. With great effort, I rolled over to the other side, still wanting to sleep when a few minutes later my alarm blared again. I smacked it off and drifted back to sleep. The next time I woke up it was to my phone ringing. I normally never got calls so early, so I answered it, fearing it would be an emergency. I fished the offensively vibrating device from my pocket, answering it in a vexed tone without checking the caller ID.

"Hello?" 

"Good morning…" Henry's raspy, sleepy voice came through the phone, making my heart gallop. I stared into the soft morning glow of my room in surprise for several quiet moments before finally speaking.

"Henry?"

"Not stalking you. Just wanted to make sure you were up on time for work…"

Even as tired as I was I couldn't stop the warm feeling that spread through me, like a hot cup of cocoa after a long winter day.

"Henry, You didn't have to," I told him softly, my voice copious with emotion that I was too tired to conceal.

"I did. I promised. I know you'll be upset with me asking but I promise this is the last time. How are you feeling…"

I began to feel bad for being annoyed with him earlier and actually found his habit of worrying for others endearing. It's just the kind of person he was. I had a feeling if I'd scraped my knee he'd have reacted the same way.

"The same way I feel whenever I drink. I don't feel any different," I assured him, this time without the heat in my voice that I'd had all the times he asked me previously.

"Okay. Good. Sorry, again, about last night. Well. This morning."

If I wasn't so exhausted I'd have laughed at how long it took him to say that and I knew it had nothing to do with him being tired. Henry was just naturally a slow talker.

"Don't apologize. What time did you go to bed?"

"I haven't. I stayed up to make sure you woke up on time since taking you out last night was my fault. I didn't want you to get in trouble at work."

Though my smile was tired, it was genuine and I hugged my comforter closer to my body, suddenly wishing it was him. "Henry…"

"I am exhausted though, so I will hit the sack now. Had a wonderful time with you. Take care."

"You too…"

I hung up, but this time I couldn't go back to sleep. I forced myself up and geared for another day at work.

As fatigued as I was, I suddenly had the burst of energy I needed to get through the day.

Henry was the reason.

***

June 8th.

A day that I didn't like celebrating too much. The real reason I'd drank too much with Savannah last night. Of course it went back to my childhood. I had the nice lavish birthdays only cause my mother insisted, but Dad could never be bothered.

He was always working. always chasing his dreams. Then when it came to friends, I always had very low attendance parties. They were always in the summer when school was out and I didn't have too many friends to celebrate with, but me and Ella with some of her cool friends always enjoyed ourselves.

Then, it all changed one day when I met George Simmons. He was the reason I hated June 8th with a passion.

But there was no one I hated more than myself for this day.

***

Every other Friday, if you finished your work early, you left early. Or, you could go in late. The only thing I really had to do was consult with my team over the next project we would be starting soon.

By two in the afternoon, I was at home catching up on rest. Now that I had some down time I tried not to let my mind overwork me, trying not to make any sense of what happened the previous day and the fact I'd chartered a plane to go to West Hollywood. My cheeks flushed every time I thought of what Henry and I did in the cab and I'd shaken my head multiple times throughout the day in an attempt to erase those images from my mind…

…easier said than done.

When I walked or sat down I still felt his hard thighs on the back of my own. A shiver would go through me when I'd remembered the amazement my hands felt any time I touched him. And his lips, and eyes, and dimples…

It was all too much, too fast, I knew.

I just wanted some alone time, but that wasn't going to happen especially since today was my dumb birthday. I had to go for a dinner at 7 at the insistence of Ella.

Henry and I hadn' texted each other and I was cool with it for now. We might have needed a bit of a break after how intense last night got.

Around five I woke up from a long nap to torrential rains and gloomy skies. It would be dour weather on this 'blessed' day. With a mug of green tea on the table beside my couch, I was eating a fruit salad, reading a forum about videogame coding when a knock on the door startled me.

Ella and I were never the type to receive surprise guests.

I pondered over who was there, and contemplated just sitting still until the visitor went away. They'd know I was there because my car was parked at the front, and especially since it was raining really hard, I'd feel bad leaving them there.

With my blanket wrapped around me, I galvanized from the couch and drudged my feet to the door. When I checked the peep hole, all I saw were a bright bouquet of flowers. A trickle of fear went through me when I thought of who it could be. George? No. I prayed to God not.

I didn't want to have to call the police.

Militantly, I swung the door open and stood with my guard up. The hand around the bouquet showed me it wasn't in fact George. The bouquet itself was a miriad of bright, summary, roses that I'd never seen in my entire life. The roses were multi colored, each petal a different color from the rainbow. The presentation of the flowers was even more appealing because the clear wrapping around it had rain drops, as did the roses. Attached with white ribbons to the bouquet were tall, rained on peach colored balloons, with one of the balloons smaller than the rest.

My admiring of the flowers was rudely interrupted by an unexpected, squeaky, chipmunk voice.

"Happy Birthday to youuuu. Happy Birthday to youuuu. Happy birthday dear peachessssss, Happy birthdayyyy too youuuuuuuuuuu." By the end of his rendition, Henry's voice was finally back to normal.

A large, haggard breath was expended soon after the bouquets were lowered to reveal Henry's face.

"Jesus! I thought the helium would be gone by the time you answered. Thank god."

He gnawed his lip with expectant eyes, then color quickly rose to his cheeks as he scratched the back of his head. "Oookay so no reaction. I guess that was just silly, wasn't it? Well," he held the bouquet out to me. "Here are your birthday flowers. And I got you a candle. I know, lame last minute gift but you'll never guess what scent it is."

Nonplussed, I stared at the tall figure in front of me as his shoulders rose and fell while he tried to catch respite. Henry lowered the flowers, suddenly looking guilty. "Is this a bad time? Sorry I should have warned you, I wanted it to be a surprise. I was going to have them delivered and, well, Ella told me you'd be home so I thought..."

I still couldn't speak and Henry hitched his thumb behind him, turning to leave.

"I guess I'll just--"

My eyes welled with tears and I launched myself at him before he could see any indication that his gesture had moved me beyond words.

I closed the tears away before they could fall with my arms wrapped around his neck and just held him. In that moment I didn't care if his 'niceness' was suspicious or fake or if he was doing all this with an ulterior motive.

In that moment, I just reveled in him.

He would never know how much this meant to me.

June 8th was the day I officially started falling for Henry Walker.

Chapter 11

"How do you not have a pet? This place is perfect for one." Henry was still walking around, admiring the condo. It wasn't too big, but spacious enough for Ella and I to exist comfortably. Only it became much smaller than what it normally was with Henry standing in the middle of the den, his hands in his back pockets and his booted feet gently walking the hardwood floors.

Speaking of his boots, when I saw them, I wanted to scream. There was something about guys in black, ankle high combat boots with the laces carelessly undone. That was my kryptonite, so much i I nearly started crying he looked so good in them, it hurt. He'd cleaned them on the welcome matt and to be honest even if he hadn't I'd still let him walk around with mud all on his soles because he did those boots justice, damn near making me purr at the nice visual, and I never wanted him to take them off.

The sweet torture of his appearance didn't stop there. His black jeans formed comfortably around his lengthy legs. They weren't skinny jeans or anything, but they fit and he looked wonderful in them especially the way they bunched up at his boots. Those fucking boots.

He had on a loose white shirt with energetic, stocky black text, with a wide 'v' collar that showcased his tattoos and his pendant.

The garment that gave his boots a run for their money in making me want to drop to my knees, was the black, biker leather jacket highlighted by the silver zippers  all over it.

Oh, Henry fucking Walker. For why?

I wanted to do him then and there but had to get a hold of myself. Notably braless with nipples that hardened as I stealthily ogled him, I tightened the grip of my blanket around my body. Fuck him for doing this to me. All I could do with my legs was clump them together, not fold them like I'd been doing earlier. Looking at him was making me too wet too easily.

He looked like that dream bad boy in high school you'd hoped would whisk you away on his motorbike and ride with you into the sunset as you kissed your future goodbye because you finally sacked the town rebel. Instead of the dark scowl those boys were normally known for, Henry was wearing a smile as sweet as a cupcake.

I didn't get how someone so adorable could be so damagingly sexy. His smile and bright eyes didn't match his sooty, dangerous attire.

His hair was a bit damp from the rain, which made it darker than its usual chestnut brown. It looked black. The usual stray strands were fallen over his forehead, r with the end of the curls sharpened by the rain.

Fuck I was horny.

As my mind screamed curse words to his parents and their parents for creating him to be this visually perfect, Henry spun around to me and lifted an inquiring brow.

I remembered to respond to his question. "I hate animals."

His stunned reaction only brought attention to how green his eyes looked against that day's otherwise dark fashion choice. It wasn't so much the color of his eyes that were stunning but more the shape. They were big but not freakishly so, just very magnetic when he looked at you attentively. He had the type of eyes that were hard to look away from once they settled on you.

Why was I acting like I hadn't seen him before? Damn! Was I going to react like this every time I saw him? It's just he seemed to look better and better each time.

"How can a fuzzy thing like you hate animals." he was really eying me like that was the most absurd thing.

"Fuzzy? So I'm hairy?!" I squawked, trying to bring humor into the rather heavy environment brewing around me. I had never been so horny in my life. An easy smile broke through his face as he plopped on the couch across from me and stretched arms that seemed endless along the back of the couch. 

"Well, I do feel the occasional mustache when we kiss."

He was reminding me how easily we bounced off of each other when it came to conversation. Sometimes, like last night and in Peter's kitchen, it got so intense when we were together we couldn't speak. I missed our playful banter.

I laughed at his jab, unable to come up with a witty come back and Henry smiled as he slouched further down the couch, stretching his arms above him and linking his fingers behind his head. Well screw him for that. It was totally necessary for him to stretch his body out like that so that I could catch a glimpse of his defined torso…and yes, he had the 'deep v' right above his pelvic area. I wondered, if I pulled the shirt further up, what would I see…

My breathing escalated and I thought I was having hot flashes.

Oh fuck me and fuck him too.

"You give me a fuzzy feeling inside is what I truly meant." He smiled sweetly, and for some reason I found it completely endearing that he hadn't even noticed I was salivating cause of him. 

Trying to stay on task, I rolled my eyes, which only made him grin wider.

"I find your eye rolls sexy. Not offensive in the least," he said.

"I find your corniness sexy too."

Henry grinned that open mouth smile that made him look like a little kid. "Thank you!!!"

"I got bit by a dog once when I was little and had to get a rabies shot," I explained, then shook my head. "So nope, not my thing."

"Whoa! How old were you?" Henry sobered and I found it cute how he looked so worried even though that happened eons ago.

"Nine."

"That sounds horrific." He was trying not to frown and I shrugged.

"I survived so I guess it wasn't that bad."

"Either Negative Nancy is changing or you are."

I stood up, suddenly really thirsty. I needed a drink. I felt that thick brick wall I'd built around myself tumbling down to its demise all because of him. How could one person make me become undone so easily and all we were doing was talking about dogs and rabies shots. ugh.

"I think you guys hate on Negative Nancy too much. Care for a drink?"

"I'm good, thanks."

In a matter of minutes I was sitting back down with a new mug of decaffeinated green tea.

"So tell me why you are just sitting at home on your birthday? I was going to have the flowers delivered but when you told me you were home I figured I'd stop by. Unless I'm annoying you…"

"You are annoying me," I said over my steaming mug.

His eyes widened and he looked mortified. "I am?" His features became crestfallen as his eyes drifted away. How much cuter could this guy get? "Oh…sorry…" He sat at the edge of the couch and was about to stand up. "I guess I'll go--"

I set the mug on the table beside me.

"Your looks annoy me. How does it feel to be good looking in everything you do? 'Oh I'm just little tall Henry Walker and uh, I can pull off denim on denim and still look ravishing. I'll wear a random orange beanie and it will make your panties drop. Or how about how dapper I can be in a deep blue blazer and a casual white shirt? Oh don't get me started on my rocker biker bad boy look. I will have you going crazy."

"Am I having you going crazy?" he'd relaxed back into the couch now and was wearing his comfortable smile again.

"Yes you annoyingly sexy beast." I curved my fingers at him in a clawing motion

"Rawr!" He roared comically in his deep voice, bearing all his teeth and not looking threatening at all but extremely adorable.

I fell on the chair laughing my heart out, covering my face against the cushiony surface. "You always do that!!!"

"Do what?" he accused and I sat up, wiping tears of laughter.

"You never just laugh at me if I try to be funny or corny or lame, you just have to keep the joke going. It's like nothing surprises you! You always just go with the flow damn it!"

"You surprise me."

"Well I can never tell! You just have a good poker face, huh?"

He shook his head slowly, his eyes narrowing distrustingly, "Oh no you don't." He wagged a finger at me. "I see what you're doing here. I got to say, you're becoming better at that whole 'let's divert the conversation from me and take it elsewhere'. It was real smooth how you did it Miss MchChugging. "

"Ohhh my god I forgot you called me that at Seaburger. You have a good memory. Is that how you knew what today was or did Ella tell you?"

"I remembered it only cause you sounded so bloody sad when you talked about it that day on the beach. Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday last night? I was really waiting for you to say something, and to add insult to injury I made your night worse on your birthday."

"Oh god, will you stop blaming yourself? I'm over it and it wasn't your fault. I don't really care for birthdays. I mean aren't we supposed to stop caring when we turn 25? And isn't celebrating the day you were born the most presumptuous thing in the world? Like oh my god I'm so special to this world please celebrate me. It's cocky to demand a celebration because you were born."

"Every time I think I have you figured out you just hit me with one of your theories and i'm lost in nirvana or something."

I shrugged with a saccharine smile and Henry sat forward at the edge of the couch.

"So because of this insightful conclusion about how celebrating makes you cocky, you aren't going to do anything for turning the good, special 27?"

I scowled. "Say my age again and I'll make you watch the Keeping Up with Kardashians marathon that's on now. We have a big screen too."

"That would be well good." He sat back, shifting his behind comfortably in the seat and placing his folded arms with his hands hanging beneath them. "I love that show. 27"

"I'll make you watch Jersey Shore," I admonished and he sighed with even more bliss as he lay his head on the back of the couch with his eyes closed. 

"One of my favorites. 27."

"Me too! I have it on DVD!"

"Ha!" Henry's opened mouthed smile and amused eyes met my excitement. 'Jesus' he murmured, rubbing the bridge of his nose while he reposed his head on the back of the couch again.

"I guess I'll just have to illegally download every song you ever created."

This got his attention and he lifted his head.

"Oh?" He sat forward and with his elbows on his knees, held out one hand with all fingers outstretched. "How about I just leak to you five unheard of songs from Prince's new album."

"Oh shit!!! You have them???"

"Yep."

"How do you know I basically live for Prince?"

"I know a Prince woman when I see one. You reek him."

"Oh no you don't. You're not going to play me at my own game." I lifted my chin, sizing him up. "Who's your favorite artist?"

"Right now? Of course Adele."

"I'll download all her music if you ever utter that word 27 in reference to me again!!"

"Not only will I never speak to you again but I will hand you over to the authorities myself…" his eyes turned dark. "27."

I laughed, having never had this much chemistry with someone else. He just completely got me and my lame humor.

"You're awesome Apples." I said with a smiling nod. "I like you a lot."

"I like you too, Peaches. A great deal," he said instantly like it was fact and our eyes held.

I bit my bottom lip and glanced down.

"Queue in the awkward silence," Henry said and I looked up to find him looking about the apartment.

"I know cause, did we mean that in an 'I like you as a friend way'? Or were we talking…anyway so I'm mad you never told me how you made the bangers and mash. Queen Peaches demands a verbal recital of the recipe, thank you."

He began giving me a detailed run down on how to make the delicacy.

To be honest I hadn't really cared about how it was made. I just wanted to hear him talk for a long time and knew now for sure I'd never tired of it. Even though he could put the average person to sleep with how slow he spoke, that was what was so gripping about his voice to me. His unhurried pace commanded attention, but not as much as the actual sound. His gravelly tone came from deep within, but it wasn't so much that he sounded like he had a sore throat. And the huskiness of his voice was just enough to make you want to close your eyes and slip into bliss.

It certainly didn't help that he lips speaking those words were wonderful to look at, as well as how his jaw worked when he spoke. I was mesmerized, listening, until he suddenly motioned success with his hands while saying, "And Bob's your uncle."

My features scrunched up. "Who the fuck is Bob and why is he my uncle and what does he have to do with my food?"

Henry's head dropped as he laughed, his shoulders shaking.

"What? What's so funny I don't get it?!?! What'd I miss? what'd I miss?"

He threw his head back laughing some more and that only reminded me what a nice neck he had. My womanhood twitched as I remembered kissing and sucking him there. Oh god.

"You're fucking amazing Valerie. You are unbelievable." he was shaking his head in disbelief. It felt really good to hear him laugh like that and I felt very good inside, just knowing I was the reason he seemed happy in the moment.

"Who the hell is Bob??"

"Sorry I don't do it to be annoying. I always forget that you don't understand these things when we talk, I guess that means I'm comfortable around you, but it's a British saying kind of like, 'and there you go'--Holy fucking shit Valerie." he stopped suddenly.

"What?"

"You hoodwinked me. You managed to divert the conversation from what you'd be doing for your birthday…again. You are so good at this I Am Number 27." He smiled sweetly as he jeered me.

I returned his smile with a sweet one of my own. "Rolling in the Deep dipped in Illegal Download Sauce sounds so good right now."

Henry's eyes narrowed and he murmured, "Got a few friends in the LAPD." Then he said through grated teeth. "Now spill."

I to narrowed my eyes and sat forward challengingly and unafraid, "Never. Bring it on, Mr. Bean."

Henry winked while making two clicking sounds with his tongue and smirked. "That was so fucking hot.” He curved his bottom lip under his tongue and bit it, his eyes turning smoldering and his voice lowered to a rumble. “Do it again."

I damn near hollered, as laughter cannoned out my throat and covered my mouth, shocked by how loud and hard I was laughing at his silliness. I wondered, how could one person make me feel like the world with the simplest gestures.

It's just like he said earlier about getting lost in nirvana whenever we hang out. It was the same thing to me. I forgot about the pain my birthday normally brought me. Everything that was drab about my birthday was turning into a favorite, including the rain that had further soured my mood. The soft lighting of the condo suddenly seemed like the best thing in the world to me. My couch was the most comfortable and of course Henry was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen across from me.

When I finally came down from my laugh, I saw Henry eying me with a pleased smile on his face. Apparently he liked making me laugh too.

We looked at each other across the room, and something I'd been trying to ignore dawned on me. We were sitting as far away from each other as possible. At this point we both knew the damage caused whenever we were too close to one another.

To be honest, I preferred it this way, but my hormones were raging like I'd just hit puberty and discovered what the word sexy meant. I wanted to rip that shirt off of him, damn.

There was a silent energy floating through the room like a ghost trying to haunt us both. I had never felt so alive just sitting in the same room with another person. It was a bit scary the electricity I felt sparking between us.

"But to finally answer your question. Ella is making me go to a birthday dinner," I said.

"You say that with so much enthusiasm."

"I'm grateful for her doing it. Like I said I think birthdays are attention-whorish kind of. I don't know."

"Free food, mate. I say you go." 

"Yeah I guess." I puffed a heavy sigh and surged to my feet.

"What time is the dinner?"

"Seven."

Henry eyed his watch. "You'd better get ready. It's 6:15."

A huge slab of disappointment struck me when he started to get up.

"What time does your flight leave?" I asked haltingly.

"Real late, like twelve or something."

"Wanna come?"

A devilish grin stretched his lips. "Of course I'd love to."

I started walking away then something hit me. I turned to glower at Henry, who wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, knowing I finally got the double entrende.

"You have a very dirty mind. Or shall I say, a very rude one."

"Not a sweet angel like me," the innocuous smile was back.

Picking up my scented candle from the dinner table where I'd also placed the roses in water with the balloons huddled in the upper corner of the room, I started for my bedroom. "Okay I'm going to get ready. Sit your sexy beastly butt back down and make yourself at home."

"Yes, my Queen Peach."

I was showered in fifteen minutes, walking around my room with a towel wrapped around my body, enjoying the heady aroma of the peach cilantro scented candle. I naturally never cared for peaches and had only randomly bought a cheap brand body wash without even checking what scent it was. Never did I think peaches would be a staple aspect of my life, with me thoroughly enjoying the soft, alluring fragrance.

I searched high and low for something appropriate to wear but wasn't satisfied with anything I picked. Honestly I wanted to wear something that would blow Henry away the way he always did whenever I saw him, especially after how basic I looked the previous night. I hadn’t worn anything cute in a while and was reminded how rarely I shopped for clothes. Fashion was never something of importance growing up and I recalled Ella giving me an intervention in college telling me I needed to step it up a little. I was the stereotype nerd in every sense of the word and had only in recent years started to care about fashion so I was still very rough around the edges.

I didn’t know how long I’d been poring over what to wear when there was a knock on my door.

"You okay in there? You're gonna get there late," Henry said.

Because I despised my arms, shoulders, and legs, I yanked my robe from my bathroom door. Flipping the uncomfortable, still-wet curly strands from under the thick collar of the robe, I went to open my bedroom door, scowling because of how frustrated I was.

"You have like maybe fifteen minutes or so to get there," Henry had been looking down his phone, his weight heaved on one side of his leg, and one hand in his pocket.

"And the traffic is insanity so…" His voice tapered off when he casually looked up and froze.

"I can't figure out what to wear," I huffed in frustration.

"Uh-um I'm sure whatever you pick will be fine," he muttered as his eyes quickly sought his phone again and he started to walk away but I grabbed his arm, dragging him back.

"Wait! Could you help me pick something?" I left the door open, walking back to the dimly lit room.

"Oh that candle you got me is awesome by the way," I said, inhaling once more. I flicked through the hangers in my closet and pulled out a black dress and eyed it. The distant thunder rolling outside reminded me that it was still raining and wearing a dress wouldn't be too enjoyable, but I liked the dress. Sighing, I threw it on the bed when I realized Henry hadn't moved from the door, looking a bit unsure.

"I don't have any monsters in my room," I told him wryly, wondering if it was his 'gentlemanly ways' that kept him from entering. I wrung my hands impatiently. "Ugh! This is so annoying. Help please."

"I'm not really good at…you know, clothes and stuff."

I looked over my shoulder and sized up his very swanky attire. It wasn't a surprise that Henry had a keen fashion sense, what with being linked to Hollywood and all. Hell, he dressed better than my plain self and we both knew it.

Henry's eyes followed the trail of my gaze from his shoes up and then looked up at me, shrugging blamelessly, his shoulders remaining high.

"Personal stylist?"

"You're also a bad liar. Fine, I'll figure it out. I was thinking jeans but then I have a feeling Ella will be going out later and I don't want to look a mess." I stomped my feet agitatedly. "Damn, damn, damn!!!"

"You act like a comedian," Henry said and I looked back to see that he was finally traipsed into the room, but with great caution, lhis hands in his pockets as he trained his eyes to the clothes I'd tossed onto the bed.

"Okay, since it's raining I'm thinking of something kind of casual. But I kind of wanted to wear a dress."

"You got any like, sleeveless, tube dress thingies?" Henry asked while sitting at the corner edge of my bed. He seemed a bit rigid and unrelaxed, unlike usual. I would have focused on it if we weren't working against time.

"Nope," I pulled out another longer dress from my closet, then went over to the bed to sit next to him and show it to him.

"Well, I was thinking of this too…" My voice tapered off because Henry practically jumped off the bed as soon as I sat down next to him.

The room that he couldn't look up at earlier had all his attention now, playing off the fact that he'd just leaped away from me. He was being weird. I tried not to focus on it. Maybe he was realizing this was a mistake and that he wasn't attracted to me? What had I done to make him act so indifferent?

It was like he had his guard up and I don't think he'd ever really done that with me. It made me feel horrible.

"You like video games a lot," I heard Henry saying discerningly while I looked over the dresses on my bed, trying to pick the best one. I hadn't even thought about the poster I had on one side of my room, along with the wide shelf of video games on that side of the room as well. I hadn't felt the need to hide that form Henry like I did most other adults because he didn't seem the type to judge what anyone else was doing as long as no one got hurt. When I once told some guy at the club videogames were my hobby, he basically poofed into thin air when I briefly turned my back on him to get my drink.

Although I was a bit put off and confused with him, I couldn't shroud my love of video games. I rarely got asked by anyone, so I always indulged whoever made the mistake of asking me.

"Yeah. It's embarrassing though. Please keep it a secret."

"Why?"

"It's childish."

"Childish?"

"Yeah. When's the last time you played a video game?"

Henry's dimple deepened as he chewed his tongue, looking heavenward as he searched his brain. "Uhhh…let me see…"

"See?!"

"That doesn't mean they're childish. Everyone has different hobbies. I mean I enjoy the game graphics, but playing?" He shrugged. "It depends. I'll play a good Fifa game but for the most part, I'm not too crazy about video games. But you are! Which is still amazing."

I smiled. "Yeah. Since I was a loner as a child that's pretty much what kept me company."

"What was your favorite game?"

I lowered my chin suspiciously, "You care about my favorite game?"

"Yeah I care about your favorite game."

"well, for starters Super Mario is my all time favorite."

"That's a good one. I love a good Yoshi and mushroom. Luigi was a good wingman."

I don't think I could ever get enough of the way he talked. I don't think I could ever get enough of him.

I listed all my favorite video games, going down a long list, then when I remembered how much I was rambling, I shortened the list. Henry never looked away once, nor did he appear disinterested, although there was something behind his eyes. There always was.

"Ah, I see." he nodded attentively.

"Yeah. That's honestly my biggest passion. Video games. Video consoles." I pointed at the glass case in the corner of the room. "I have all the Nintendo variations and Playstations, XBox, SEGA, but I think my heart will always be with Nintendo. I remember when my parents got me my first Nintendo, the Entertainment System version." I tried not to smile too hard as I reminisced. "My parents got it for me one Christmas because they got great reports from my teacher that I did great, even though it was a tough year with some kids cause of my weight, so I think they were proud that I still forged on and worked hard and did well.

"My mom insisted on it, and at first my father thought it was dumb but I think he gets excited with new technology. One day he actually sat down with me and tried to play it because no matter how hard he tried to deny it, he enjoyed it. I was eight years old. It was so amazing. Then I remember one night I couldn't sleep and I saw the light in the basement on and he'd actually taken apart the game, and just as I was about to start crying, he calmed me down by showing me how he was able to put it back together. That's the only time I can remember him sitting me on his lap, and I watched him do it from start to finish, just completely amazed. That's when dad told me to always try to figure out how things work, not just take them at face value. That's why when a new game console comes out, I'm interested in the motherboard, or if it's a new game, I'm interested in how they achieved certain coding to make the gameplay. My dad taught me so much about that, it was so fucking cool that day with him I'll never forget. He's a genius."

"You sound real proud of him." Henry said softly and I suddenly remembered he was there. I was suddenly gripped with a huge level of fear when I remembered there was only one person other than Ella who I'd shared this memory with--and that was George Simmons.

I didn't want to regress and refused to allow those memories to dictate how I dealt with Henry, but it was all too close for comfort.

"I think this is pretty amazing actually," He said next when I said nothing.

"What?"

"You haven't given up on something you truly love. I respect people like that," he said seriously.

"I gave up on video games the moment I didn't take the plunge and do game programming like I wanted to. Ah well," I finally decided on a dress and was smoothing it out on my lap. "Things happen for a reason, don't they--"

"You're beautiful."

I laughed, still focusing on my dress. "What? Is that your new song or a song lyric you just came up wi--"

"I think you're beautiful."

At the seriousness in his tone, I lifted my head to look at Henry in surprise. He was facing me now, although he was still a good distance away from me. He started to walk towards me slowly, the heaviness I'd felt when sitting across from him in the living room back in full effect, a lot stronger.

I laughed nervously and looked down at the dress. "Madison, now that's beautiful. I'm alright."

Henry hunkered down in front of me, tilting his head back to look into my eyes.

"Do you even know what beautiful actually means?" he asked me and my throat couldn't work. All my senses sparked to life with Henry so close to me. The inebriating incense, coupled with his alluring cologne nearly dizzied me.

"Yes you have the prettiest brown eyes, the most adorable freckles and a smile that lights up the whole room. But I think, beauty, true beauty, doesn't fade. Some people are born with it and for others, it just grows. It comes from a place not too many people get to see because they don't know how to find it. You have to have a skilled eye to spot it. It's this beautiful light, but here's the thing about this beauty. Once it's unearthed, it's so beautiful, so bright that it's blinding. It catches you, almost imprisoning, so unforgivingly binding that your life for this moment in time when you've discovered this light, becomes almost worthless. This light becomes your focal point. and you…almost start to fear it because it's so beautiful."

My shaky breaths came through my mouth as our eyes held his intensely sparkling ones all while the rain gently tapped at the windows.

"I think true beauty comes from a truly good person. And you, I feel it deep within, are a good person. You are beautiful. You are beauty. And that's only from me seeing just a glimmer of you. If i see it all, I'll get lost."

My fingers curled tightly around the dress as I tried to level my breathing.

"I'm an all or nothing kind of guy but you're the first person that makes me want you in doses. I would lose my mind if I had all of you." 

I bit my bottom lip and just as I looked away, Henry touched my chin to return my gaze back to him.

"Yet I can't get enough of you. What have you done to me, Valerie?" it was the ams frustration he had when he asked me why I was so cute to him when we finally had some alone time in the club.

What was I supposed to say? How do you respond to something like that? Something you've never heard before that's so sweeping and possessing and beautiful in itself? I was doing my best not to cry. Most of my life I was told different and then Henry shows up and tells me all these things that I'm sure many women want to hear, even the ones that deny it.

Yes I was a 'hopeless', but after being jaded so long I refused to believe that another human being could make you change, but I felt myself changing. No matter how the insecurities and fear tried to keep this change from happening, the feeling was so strong I knew I would never be the same after today.

"Sorry." He smiled bashfully, looking down almost in an attempt to conceal his red cheeks as his hand fell away from me. "I told you, you shouldn't let me talk too long. Get kind of carried away sometimes and just talk rubbish and…"

I grabbed his face and kissed him. As I closed my eyes to kiss him, my tears fell onto his face. I didn't like people seeing me cry and I'm not sure he'd understand why but I didn't even care about him seeing or feeling my tears. I just wanted to kiss those lips that had told me the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard about myself.

Unlike usual Henry didn't kiss me back or melt when our lips met. He remained unmoving while I lightly plucked his lips within my own. All the self-control I relied on earlier became undone once Henry said those words to me and I couldn't stop myself. I was raging inside with need and want and my tongue reached to taste those very lips that made me feel the most beautiful I'd ever felt in my life.

Henry finally reacted, sucking in a breath, which allowed me to slip my tongue into the warm mouth that had blessed me with those words.

"Valerie, don't…" he pleaded, though the resolve in his voice was waning with each press of my lips.

I didn't listen. I couldn't.

His hands were now lightly skimming up my calves and squeezing. I let out a moan because that wasn't a place I normally got touched and the new feeling excited me.

At my moan, Henry pulled back from me, his eyes closed while he still grappled at whatever was left of his willpower. His hands were up to my knees now, under the robe.

"When you kiss me it only makes me want to taste more of you," he said roughly and heat tore within me. If his intention was to dissuade me, he failed horribly. I reached for him again, wiping my tears from his face and started to kiss him with the hungriness that had been churning within me ever since the day I met him.

"Valerie…" he murmured roughly against my lips.

This time I pulled him with me as I scooted further up the bed. It was ingrained inside of me that I would never let another guy see me naked again after my past experiences, but that didn't mean I couldn't make out with a guy. I really had no plans for what would happen, all I could think about was how he felt, and it wouldn't leave me mind that the lips kissing me back had said very sweet words to me. So the kiss meant more than just feeling skin against skin.

Once our tongues began to roll around each other, Henry's legs straightened but he bent. He stopped briefly and roughly dragged all the clothes I'd thrown on my bed onto the floor and the kissing continued. Though it was cumbersome, we both moved up the bed, me using the heels of my feet to propel me upward, and Henry crawling, making me sink each time his palms or knees depressed the bed. Still, our lips never left each other. He would turn his head to find my lips every time I moved waveringly on the bed and I would search for his, my fingers lost in his curls as I tried to keep him on me. At some point, mid way, I began trying to get his jacket off of him. It was too noisy but most importantly I wanted to feel his arms. Henry stopped, kneeling above me, and roughly discarded the jacket with his eyes never leaving mine, throwing it to a forgotten place on the floor. The fire in his eyes made me heart jump, and it also made me extremely wet.

The chains around him were broken. He was no longer guarding himself from me.

His lips reunited with mine in record time and we continued our unsteady trip up my bed.

The back of my head met with a pillow and Henry settled above me, levering his weight on his elbows. His neck was craned low as he kissed. His lips parted from mine soundly and he knelt to take his necklace off, draping it carefully on my nightstand. When I reached for him, Henry grabbed one hand of mine, kissing the knuckles.

"Wait. Wait."

Interlacing our hands, he placed them above my head. My free hand settled on his shoulder and I watched his gorgeously contracting neck as he deeply breathed, his eyes trailing down my features, further to my neck. I felt nervous because this never happened with my last boyfriend.

Henry's eyes darkened the more they lowered to my cleavage, his now dry curls was shaggy and looping low over his forehead. He licked his lips before suddenly blowing and making my eyes flutter close in bliss at the coolness, emphasized by the dewiness that still lingered from my shower.

When his eyes trailed up, he smirked and a naughty glint hit his eyes.

"So did they know you were mine at work? When they saw you with this?" he asked, his voice rougher than usual, as he pressed a kiss on my neck and when he started to suck, I remembered that it's where the hickey was.

I squirmed underneath him. "Henry…"

"I will give you a thousand more just so everyone will know," he said and I moaned because I felt his voice rumbling through his chest, vibrating against my breasts. Instinct made me press myself more against him. Oh god. I was feeling the voice that had told me how beautiful I was and that I was a good person.

I never knew something like that could make me wetter than before.

Henry's kisses made a wet path down the upward curve of my breasts, and I moaned when I felt one large hand cup my left breast and squeeze.

I was surprised by how effortlessly I moaned around Henry. I'd never admitted to anyone that I'd faked it a lot with my last boyfriend. This time I couldn't help it, moaning uncontrollably as he pumped my breast in his hand. My body jerked when his thumb whisked by my hard nipple, the light friction from the robe making me even more sensitive.

Attentive to my needs, Henry picked up my reaction to his touch and began steadily rubbing my nipple in his thumbs, having taken my other breast in his hand too to mimick the movements. I thrashed under him, my hands on his wrists now.

"Valerie," he said huskily and before long his tongue was on the robe over my left nipple. I didn't feel the wetness immediately, just the feel of his tongue probing at me until I could feel him. The warm wetness of the robe added another sensation that made me scream out and spear my fingers into his hair.

Henry moaned and gave the other nipple the same action, and I was so lost in him, I didn't stop him like I normally would have when he peeled my robe further down to reveal my breasts.

When I felt the cool air though, it hit me, and I went rigid, clamoring for the robe to conceal me from him.

"Wait…no!"

The lightning outside might as well struck between us two because the heated moment was rudely interrupted by me. Henry blinked out of a daze, lifting his gaze up to me. My eyes flittered away in shame and this time I couldn't hide the onslaught of tears that rushed to me. I shrunk below him, hating the vivid proof that I possibly might never get over the insecurities of my body. I was so angry with myself at that moment.

What had I expected to happen though? People didn't just kiss forever, but I'd do that at the risk of turning him away once he saw all of me. This is why I couldn't give him everything. I didn't want to scare him away

"Sorry," Henry said gruffly above me, still trying to labor his breaths.

"No. I'm sorry, it's just…it's ugly," I whispered and clutched my eyes in defeat, letting the fat tears roll.

"Valerie…" Henry muttered softly.

"You'll hate it. You'll hate it." My eyes were clutched tight as my past clawed at me with as much mercy as a beast from hell had. I held the robe so tight to me my hands shook and my nails were biting into my palms. I waited for Henry to just get up in a huff and I would never blame him for it.

When I felt him shift I was ready for the feeling of bereavement when all I felt were light kisses on the closed fists that were my hands. The kisses were unhurried, taking one knuckle after the other. 

"You don't have to hide from me," he murmured and continued to kiss my palms. I chancily opened my eyes to find his shaggy haired head bobbing up and down, his eyes closed as he began lightly nipping on the back of my hand.

"Don't hide from me," he encouraged and before I knew it my fists were relaxing under his delicate kisses. Once they were relaxed, Henry uncurled the now loose fingers and turned one hand over, kissing the center of my palm. When he reached for the other one, I willfully opened the palm without needing his help, and he moaned low in appreciation as he nipped the plump portion of my palm, before pressing his lips against it.

I watched him in awe through wet eyes when he finally lifted his gaze, looking at me through his enviable eleshases. His eyes were approachable but I knew he was trying his best to control his lust.

"I'm so hopeless with this, i'm sorry," I croaked out embarrassedly and Henry shook his head, pressing my palm up to his mouth.

"You are not hopeless. Don't say that."

My eyes stung again and I looked to my side, as that was my only solace from not seeing him witnessing me blush.

"Let me see you, love."

I gulped hard at Henry's gentle plea as he took both hands and placed them on either side of my head. When I closed my eyes and didn't resist his placement of my hands, he knelt in between my legs. 

He undid the belt and I was gripped painfully by anxiety, doubt, fear, and a bit of sorrow that this was probably going to be it with Henry and I.

My eyes remained clutched shut, painfully so. I was preparing myself not to see what I was sure would come: the look of horror and disgust one he saw my disfiguring scars.

I'd had to have surgery for excess skin from losing weight too fast and while Ella promised me it looked natural I still felt self-cautious about it. What bothered me the most about my physical appearance though, was my stretch marks. My stretch marks weren't just the regular, faintly tinted kind most people had. They were long, some very thick, and with my bright skin, they were jarringly visible. Cause I couldn't afford the laser surgery removal and was saving up for it, I'd been using all these special creams for months and they were taking forever to go away. 

Something happened six months ago, a thing I brought up when we were leaving Seaburger and I was panicking. Even though Ella had told me it had only happened that while ago, it didn't mean I wasn't still suffering the brunt of it.

About six months ago I was determined to prove to myself that I was over my past. I also wanted to test and prove that men did prefer smaller women. Of course I'd been nervous about my stretch marks, but they were a natural part of women so I thought any other mature man would understand why I had them.

The man I'd gone home with had been so ready to bed me until he got me naked. I could never erase the look on his face ever since then. It was like he'd seen the most ghastly thing in his life, and had uttered 'what the fuck is this?'.

I had felt repulsive many times in my life, but never like then. It made me wonder if that's how George always wanted to look at me.

He told me his dick had softened and he had to go. He had nothing to lose with being brutally honest with me. I'd given him a fake name and I was sure he'd either given me his first name or a fake name. We didn't know each other and had met on the dance floor. It further proved that I just couldn't do that one night stand thing.

On one hand I was glad because I truthfully, deep, down inside wasn't comfortable with having a one night stand. On the other, I felt undesirable, reminded of many other moments in my life only this time the pain was magnified.

I really really liked Henry. I didn't care for that guy. I just couldn't stand the thought of a guy that I'd grown to like, and maybe even started to care for, might just hold that same expression that had deepened scars, reopened older ones, and created newer ones.

I was just about to push him off when I twitched to his feather light touch on my stomach. along with a wondrous whisper of my name.

"Valerie…"

My eyes batted open, spilling withheld tears. For many moments my vision was blurred and when a few more tears fell, I glanced down to find Henry knelt over me. His facial expression made me catch my breath.

I listened to my hushed breaths against the light drumming of rain. The room was still dark, but I could make out his features i the soft candlelight. His gentle eyes, flickering in the dark, looked over me with great concentration. And dare I say, admiration.

For a while I lay there like a lifeless log, I wasn't even sure I was breathing.

No one had ever looked at me like this. As with most things that we're unaware of, I began to get scared and the fear soon turned into panic.

No one could ever find my stretch marks attractive. No one.

Yet, I never thought I'd get on a plane on a work night and club in Hollywood. I never thought I could show anyone other than Ella and some distant friends my passion for games without being ridiculed. I never thought I'd have an impromptu prom night by the ocean. Never thought I'd have bangers and mash. I never thought my favorite time of the day would constantly change because things kept getting better and better…

Until I met Henry Walker.

It was in that moment that my thoughts the night we met at The Tavern came crashing to me.

My gut had been right. Henry Walker was indeed changing my life.

I tried to move away, but Henry's hands moved to my hips to stop me.

"Be still, love. Relax."

Henry's soothing voice surprisingly calmed me down, although the gentleness of it made my eyes well up more. He'd asked me what a fantasy of mine was last night, and this was one of them. I'd always hoped I'd find a guy who truthfully and genuinely was in awe of my body, a body I'd been taught to hate for as long as I could remember.

He held my waist firmly, squeezing with his palms pressing against those very stretch marks I hated with a passion.

"This is not ugly. You are not," he whispered to me and my eyes stung once again as I felt pain within my body. It's like Henry was trying to breach the last protective lock I had over my soul to release all the pain. I turned away, unable to hold his sincere gaze.

"You are like nothing else I have seen before, Valerie. Beautiful."

I whimpered and closed my eyes this time because I felt him peering into my dark soul as his eyes roved over my body. He obviously knew something was wrong and was telling me what I wanted, maybe even needed, but feared to hear. His words were very healing, but they were also scary. There was a familiarity to them that made me anxious and restless. Something kept telling me to leave while I still had the chance. I scooted back and Henry's throaty laughter filled up my quiet room.

He held my waist and stopped me from moving further and moved up till his lips aligned with mine.

"Valerie, Valerie, valerie. Are you trying to run away from me."

"I-I think we should go," I whispered feebly and his eyes lit up.

"Are you afraid?" he asked and I nodded. And then I shook my head. I was obviously confused.

He kissed me gently for several moments and spoke in hushed tones. "Don't be. Just relax. Let me take care of you."

I peered at him through my wet, clamped eye lashes, feeling so embarrassed that I simply couldn't get through this entire ordeal like a normal human being. I was still an emotional mess from him kissing the scars of my past, caressing them like they were wondrous pieces of art.

When I felt Henry on the light curve of my stomach, Henry held me tighter, almost painfully, because my automatic reaction was to flee. But he continued to kiss me unabated, sliding his tongue against the markings of my fluctuating weight, the markings which society taught us to believe were disfiguring and unnatural.

Henry savored my skin, no matter that it wasn't perfectly smooth, and took his time as though he wanted me to know he appreciated each and every stretch mark. He even held the small curve of my stomach in his teeth, nipping his way all across, skating his tongue over my skin. I never thought my waist would be such an erogenous zone. My fingers were now getting lost in Henry's hair as he loved my stomach. Then he shocked me when he pulled my hands away and turned me over until I was on my stomach. I was too surprised to even comprehend what was going on but didn't have to wait long.

"Henry--" I gasped when I felt him kissing the inner curve of my lower back. He grabbed handfuls of my derriere, squeezing as he began to hungrily nip across my back where more of my stretch marks were.

"I'm going to kiss and bite all of these marks until you learn to love the fact that they're there." His muffled, hungered words made tears sting my eyes when I felt his lips all over me. He made me shifty and restless underneath, I had to clutch onto the wrinkled robe that lay on my bed like shed skin. He made me feel so good I never wanted to wear it again.

"Henry," I whimpered, my sliding legs only reminding me how sticky I was in between them as Henry run a wet stripe up my spine, sending endless shivers through me.

Henry turned me around again and surprised me when he impatiently nuzzled the trimmed delta of my private part.

I sighed shakily and looked down at him in surprise when he pulled back, parting my thighs.

He was quiet for several moments while my face burned fiercely. Not even my last boyfriend had been face to face with my pussy like that. His eyes were enraptured, burning with an intensity that only made my womanhood twitch and wetter. The action made Henry close his eyes as he breathed deeply with a shake of his head as though trying to contain himself. He literally looked like he would lose it any moment.

He licked his bottom lip, bit it and stared at my wetness in consternation, like he was really trying hard to keep from the temptation staring right at him. I was about to ask him what was wrong, I couldn't stop squirming in front of him and this time Henry hadn't stilled my hips like usual. His eyes seemed to dilate with each movement I made.

"Look at those pretty little lips," Henry muttered quietly, his voice husky with want. My hands squeezed the sheet beside my thigh. I bit my lip nervously and tried to close my legs but Henry wasn't having that. He kept me open for his viewing pleasure.

"And they're all mine..." he murmured more to himself. I don't even think I was meant to hear those words.

I didn't know what to say. I was still embarrassed and nervous.  Dear god, what was I going to do. I didn't think I could handle any of this.  I was still an emotional wreck over him seeing the one thing that shamed me horribly. My mind was still trying to process all of this, how a good guy who came from nowhere could suddenly befall me and do all of this. There had to be an ulterior motive

"You look so sweet…" He whispered against me, his cool breath rushing against my sensitive skin.

A small cry shot up my throat as my hips agitated restlessly.

"Fuck, Valerie…" he groaned as though it pained him to just watch. I blushed something fierce at the thought of him staring at me so intently in a place that was so private, a place no one had seen before.

The thought made me fearful and I didn't realize I was a bit too shifty until Henry spoke.

"Relax, Valerie."

I wanted to tell him that I was trying, but I couldn't. I think I was on the brink of having a panic attack but I couldn't stop.

"It's okay baby," He promised in a heavy voice as he parted my knees again and started pressing firm kisses down my inner thigh. The sensation of his curls, curls that I'd admired so many times, tickling my skin as he lowered down onto me excited me with shocking strength.

I tried as hard as I could to to remain calm, but the closer Henry got to my soaking center, the harder it became.

"It's okay," he whispered against the delicate skin next to my throbbing center.

My body jolted when he touched my soaking lips with his fingers.

"Fuck…" he rasped as he used the ball of his fingers to explore my slippery, sensitive folds. He had no choice but to still my hips with his one hand as he touched me.

I gasped when he trailed his finger up and down my labia. Then he used one finger one lip and another finger to rub the other.

"Henry…" I moaned, knowing I was basically drenching his fingers now. His gentle touch was giving me a buzz throughout my entire body. My worries began to drift away and without much control I slipped into the feeling of him touching me, welcoming it more and more with each explorative touch. I'd be okay with him doing this the entire night because it felt so good.

He was being careful with me, like I was a prize he didn't want to break. It almost made my heart ache.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, he touched my clit, and my body jerked violently.

"Henry!"

Henry's hard fingers pressed into my soft flesh as he kept me still and groaned as he continued to rub his finger in circular motions around my clit. The pad of what I guessed was his thumb sent shivers spiraling all through me.

"You feel so good baby…" he muttered in a daze as he kept rubbing me. A foreign feeling began to overtake my body, an onslaught of tingles, which suddenly stopped when Henry stopped rubbing my clit and began probing at my center.

My eyes opened and I stiffened as he rubbed the unyielding entrance of my body.

"Fuck. So tight…" he strained.

I gasped when he breached me and slid some of his finger into my slippery walls. A long moan escaped me and I arched when he slid his finger out slowly, clearly enjoying every moment, and sliding back in just as slow as though he never wanted this moment to end. I was being savored.

I could hear his labored breaths now over my own, as I tried to control my breathing.

"You get more and more beautiful by the second, Valerie. So wet…"

He began to steadily thrust his finger in and out of me, taking his time. It's like he wanted to relish feeling me out like this would be his one and only time to do so. Being treated as something so rare and precious, like an amazing comet that you'd only get to witness once in your lifetime, filled me with a plethora of feelings that I couldn't put into words.

My body couldn't stay still and it wasn't long before I was shamelessly lifting my hips to meet his thrusts. Whatever he was doing just felt too good and I forgot about being inexperienced or having a dodgy past.

"Yes baby," he hissed encouragingly, his voice roughened with tempered excitement over my movements. He slid in a second finger, the added girth stretching me wonderfully. "Just like that…"

My neck arched at the altered feeling.

"He…H…" I couldn't even get his whole name out. I was out of breath. He worked me with two fingers for a while, with me enjoying every moment of it and wanting more.

He must have read my mind because he did give me more.

I choked out a sob when he started rubbing my hyper sensitive clit while still gently finger fucking me.

The added caress of his thumb re-invited those foreign tingles that had come to me previously. Just as that heavenly feeling permeated through my body, Henry began a 'hooking' motion with his fingers, curling upward, and brushing against a spot I'd never known of before that made me cry out loudly. I didn't think I could feel better but he proved me wrong.

I felt him shifting above me and could feel his body heat looming above my body.

Worrying my bottom lip with my teeth, my hands gripped his arms and I creamed more at the flexing muscles beneath my palms. I kept my eyes closed, very aware that he was watching me, especially with his next words proving that.

"So beautiful," he murmured when I'm sure he felt more hot wetness coating his fingers. 

He continued to rub against this special spot inside me and the tingling sensation around my body became stronger. My hips were undulating uncontrollably and and legs shifted restlessly while my hands run up and down his arms as though they would give me some kind of control. I didn't know what to do with the pervasive pleasure that took control of my body. The sheets and robe beneath me were warm from all my moving around, I knew my hair was a mess, I knew I looked shameless my legs open with a man's fingers in between but whatever he was doing with his hand made all those things irrelevant as the tingling intensified.

Then out of nowhere I was struck hard with an inexplicable feeling. I lost total control like never before, screaming out loud as pleasure and some weightless feeling took over me. It's like I was possessed, even the way my body stiffened as the waves crushed through me.

Somewhere in the distance I heard Henry moaning my name but I wasn't sure. When I finally came down from my high, I felt wetter in between my legs where Henry's hands still went to work.

My body convulsed from the potency of the feeling that just rocked me as well as the shock of it all. I couldn't linger in shock for too long, because Henry wasn't done. I could only wonder what could be better than this. He hadn't even penetrated me and I felt satisfied, but I strangely still craved for more.

I suddenly realized that this was an orgasm. This is why Savannah eyed me like I was crazy when I said I hadn't had one. Now I see why.

Moaning my name, Henry moved back down till he was face to face with my wetness, this time so close that his breathing tickled me. He wasted no time, closing the distance between us and taking a languid swipe of my soppy folds, my gasp sharp as well as the arch of my back. An elongated groan grated Henry's throat and he held my agitating hips firmly, taking another hungry lick of me.

I panted, grabbing his head and trying to push him away, but I was already weakened by his touch, so my push wasn't effective.

"You taste so fucking good…my god…" his voice shook as if the shock of it all hit him harder than he'd ever expected. His genuine shock surprised me. Weren't all women the same? Why was he sounding like this was a new, out of body experience that he'd never gone through before? My entire body, which was already floating, soared higher just from his words. I know these were just physical acts, but to be treated as though I was so special to another human being, that something about me was so mind-blowing to someone else that they couldn't speak, it shook me to my very soul.

He pulled me by my hips back to him, sliding me across the creased sheets. My back arched sharply when his warm tongue dipped into me. The tip of his tongue moved about, sending several sensations throughout my body.

"Henry please," I panted as I tried to make some sense of what was occurring. No sense could be made.

Henry pried my legs further apart, and I was far too crazed by then to even care. With my legs far enough for Henry's liking, a steady thrusting of his tongue, in, out, in, out, commenced. That's when I fully surrendered. The chain that locked me in a cage broke free and I screamed out, clamping handfuls of his strands. He went from straight thrusts to swirling his tongue when he was in me, searching and tasting. And when he slid his tongue out he swirled it around the tight opening before pushing his way back in, the unyielding walls making him groan in deep appreciation. He was determined to drive me mad from pleasure, and that only turned me on more.

Just when I thought I'd reached the highest form of pleasure, his tongue leisurely snaked up to my clit. One delicate swipe against the sensitive nerves of flesh sent my body jerking violently.

"Henry…" I whimpered shakily, astounded, shocked and a bit frightened because I'd never felt anything like it.  The pleasure was so mind boggling I knew for a fact I couldn't handle it if he did it again.

"Mmm…" Henry moaned, vibrating against my delicate flesh. I gasped and looked down to find the wicked gleam that had hibernated in his green eyes the few times I'd met him, bright and in full effect.

There was no hiding the dark side in him now.

I felt scared yet excited and oh so overwhelmed I began to scoot backwards.

"That's eno--"

He grabbed my hips again, keeping me still, and flicked his tongue over my throbbing clit again. I screamed out, fisting the rumpled bedsheets beneath me, my head flinging to one side and then the other.

He did it again, quicker this time whisking only the tip of his tongue back and forth against on the most sensitive part of my clit, where the feeling of being touched was so strong I felt it throughout my entire body. The feathery touch sent powerful charges of pleasure throughout my body and I cried out, writhing like never before.

Oh god. So this is what it was supposed to be like. This is why women ranted and raved about someone going down on them. I prayed Henry wouldn't let me come out of this a crazed woman.

Henry's closed his full, puckered lips around my clit and began gentle pulls, his jaw muscles flexing as he did so. My back arched off the bed yet again and I bit my lip so hard I was sure it would be bruised later.

He then began carefully, curiously circling my clit with his eager tongue as he sucked at an unhurried pace that caused tears to eke out of my eyes, the sensation was so dominant. My hands thrashed along the disheveled bed restlessly because I couldn't move away. Somehow one hand held my head when I felt it was explode from the mind blowing pleasure and the other gripped the back of his head, twisting his ringlets in my hands for lack of any other way to handle the pleasure. 

Henry continued on, sucking and curling his tongue over me. I eventually began to feel the familiar, delicious pull in my womb, my body starting to tingle all over yet again, making me weak. Fuck. It was happening again.

Henry moaned deeply again. It was the fact that it was that deep voice I enjoyed so much was on my most intimate body part, the vibrations buzzing along my clit coupled with the never-ending sucking of his lips made me come undone.  My body went taut as endless tingling waves of pleasure swept through me all over again. The orgasm hit me so hard my mind blacked out for a couple of seconds and I forgot everything else other than what my body was experiencing and who was creating that experience for me.

As black specks disappeared from my eyes when I opened them, I weakly tried to catch respite, but it seemed the beast inside of Henry he'd been trying to guard up the moment he walked in my room was out and raging.

"More. I need more," he breathed roughly, desperately, a man far gone from his desire. I began to wonder if all this hunger flushing out of him was something he'd been dying to keep inside of himself. He was unapologetic in his level of want and it turned me on so much.

His large hands pressed flat on either side of my inner thighs as he kept me open for him. He was on me once again this time to give my aching womanhood a languid kiss. What the hell was happening? I didn't complain though. I knew we'd be running late, but I too wanted more.

I had never felt more amazing in my life.

"Henry," I whimpered weakly, unable to fight it anymore. I just took this unmitigated bliss as it came. The languid kisses, with him pressing his lips firmly against my labia, became short, sucking kisses as he sampled each of my lips.

"Mmm. Most beautiful lips ever," he said, his lips rubbing against me before he continued kissing me, this time with his tongue unhurriedly tasting each lip. My breaths gushed in short puffs, my body and mind reeling. Using two fingers he parted the folds and nudged my entrance with the ball of his tongue but never entered me, making me lose it again. Then he tore his mouth from me, and teased my entrance with the ball of two fingers before slipping in with a groan.

"Valerie," He gasped when my walls closed tight over him. He slurred a curse word as he began steadily thrusting in and out of me slickly and pickied up the pace. I began to lift my hips to meet his thrusts, making Henry swear under his breath. I could feel my desire dribbling onto his fingers. He began to rub my clit again, making me cinch the bedsheets. But he stopped and replaced his finger on my clit with his mouth, all the while thrusting in and out of me.

When Henry began curling his finger, rubbing my spot, along with flicking his tongue over my clit while sucking me into his mouth, I began to lose control. Again. I'd never been in a situation where something that was so good made me want to stop. I think I didn't like the feeling of not having any control, similar to the feeling I got whenever Henry was in close proximity of me.

This orgasm thing was the same exact feeling. I felt helpless with no reign over my life. This was the one thing I was always warned against, not having control over my emotions or my life.

This orgasm hit me hardest. A string of them seemed to strike me one after the other because Henry wouldn't stop savoring my clit like it was his last feast and boy was he enjoying it. He was shameless in his devouring, uncaring of the sound sucking and groaning. As the back to back orgasms tunneled through me, my body shook, Henry gripping me until he had every last drop, until he licked me clean.

My body was wrought and tired but I also felt pretty heavenly. I experienced an elation I could only compare to the one I felt after I saw Henry aiding that homeless guy, meaning my feelings weren't just purely physical but very emotional.

I didn't know if i was shaking because of the emotional impact I was feeling or the physical. Henry and I had already blurred those lines a long time ago.

I lay there in a panting heap, convulsing as the last remnants of the powerful orgasm slowly left me.

Several quiet moments passed while the real world resurrected back to life. The soft roll of thunder reminded me that it was still raining outside, and I acknowledged the rain softly pelting against the rooftop. Henry finally shifted, catching his breath with his lips pressed against my inner thigh, his breaths rushing against my sensitive skin.  I bit the satisfied smile that claimed my lip. As I wiped the new tears that had rolled down my temple, I felt how dewy my face was as a small sheen of perspiration had formed on my skin.

Wanting to know if this was real, my hands trailed down till I felt Henry's satiny curls and I shuddered.

This was real. This had just happened.

Henry lifted his damp lips from my thigh and lightly trapped some skin in his teeth, worrying it a bit to get a reaction out of me. He chuckled when I shifted and a small sound issued up my throat. Shifting reminded me that his fingers were still deeply embedded in me. As if remembering the same thing, Henry extracted his fingers and went really quiet. Curiously I looked down to find him sucking on the two fingers, his dark lashes cresting over his flushed cheeks. My face went warm and I looked up as another warmth rushed to my vagina, making my clit twitch with want. I couldn't do this again without going insane.

To my fortune, he crawled back up my trembling body instead of giving me more than I could handle for now. He made lingering pit stops to kiss right around the belly that used to shame me so much. I cried out when he kissed the valley in between my breasts. He groaned when he took one beady nipple into his mouth and pulled vigorously in his mouth. I cried out and he relaxed, his suctioning gentler. I began to shift, wetness pulling at my center again.

I sighed a bereft sigh when Henry smoothed his lips away from my nipple as he pulled back and landed on my collarbone. Then my neck. Then my cheek.

"See how wonderful you taste," he rasped before finding my lips and shoving his tongue into my mouth, rubbing it provocatively and shamelessly against my tongue. I moaned into him, my hands finding his shoulders and digging, reminding me he still had his clothes on. I wanted them off and started bunching up his t-shirt but got distracted by the smooth, rippled muscles of his defined stomach. The feeling alone made me wetter and I reached further down till I could feel the 'v' that had gotten me hot and bothered earlier.

Henry's breathing increased the more I touched him. Kneeling, he took my he took my hands into his and interlaced his fingers with mine, lifting them till they were on either side of my head. He wasn't letting me touch him as much as I wanted to and I had a feeling it was his way to exert some kind of control over himself.

"Better than I imagined," he whispered, our hands still locked right above my head, as he lowered and kissed me.

He finally pulled back and said in a low delicate voice in my ear, "Happy Birthday," then I heard the teasing smirk in his voice as he whispered, "27."

Chapter 12

"Are you alright?" Henry asked, with me gathered snuggly to his side. As I lay on him with my head on his chest, I tried to understand what had just happened. I was feeling all kinds of emotions as I listened to droplets of water outside after the rains had stopped.

"Yes," I said quietly, wondering why I couldn't shake the odd feeling around me. The vibes I felt from Henry were different too. His body was tense unlike usual. It didn't pass me that he wouldn't let me touch him the way he'd touched me, and I was the only one naked while he was still fully clothed. I was still shocked by how much I wanted him. Honestly if he was receptive I would have given him everything on the spot and the enormity of how ready I was to do that, without so much as a second thought, was a bit scary.

The powerful effect Henry had on me I was finding out was something I not only just didn't like, but detested. I was even more confused with him not wanting me to return the favor, and boy was I ready to, even after I'd sworn I never would after George.

Henry didn't ask when my thoughts instinctually made me move away from him. I was suddenly very aware that I was naked and pulled the robe around my body as I sat up, Henry moving accommodatingly so that I could get the robe from under him. Why was it so fucking awkward?

Why couldn't I just relax? I was feeling so vulnerable having never let go like that, and the last time I did…

Maybe it's because I felt how tense Henry was. Maybe after the throes of passion he was realizing that he hated my stretch marks?

"I-I'm gonna get rid of them. Soon." I started to ramble, stuttering helplessly and clutching my eyes in regret as soon as the words got out, tightening the robe around my waist so restrictively it hurt.

"Get rid of what?" Henry asked from behind me.

I was a bit annoyed with how clueless he was looking at me with his hands casually tucked behind him and one booted foot crossed over the other. Looking at his close to perfect form only made me more self-conscious about my body and I tightened the belt around me even more."The marks"

"For yourself, I hope. I don't mind them." A wicked light lit up his eyes. "I like biting them."

Henry surprised me when he grabbed my hand and yanked me to him, making me fall unceremoniously on top of him on the bed. I was exhilarated by the sudden, unexpected movement. Henry's lips were quickly on me for  languid kiss. I fell right into it immediately. When he pulled back I was even more breathless than when he pulled me down to him and my body was responding to him immediately.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked and the concern etched all over his face made me calm just a little bit.

"Yeah. I just…yeah."

What I wanted to say was I'd never partaken in a sexual act with someone I wasn't in a relationship with. Why was I making a mountain out of a mole hill? This was nice because there was no binding 'contract' between us. After this, I was still free to do what I wanted, even though a simmering part of me wanted to jump on Henry and rip his clothes off. I didn't want to do that with anyone else, at least not now.

I tried to read Henry's mind, but I couldn't. I mean, what did this mean? To him? Okay, I was thinking too much about this.

"Hmmm…" Henry hummed unconvincingly, his brows knotted as he stared at me thoughtfully.

"Okay," he finally sighed and I sighed inwardly with relief and rested my head against his chest, rather enjoying the simple feeling. Being pressed against the hard muscles of his body not only turned me on but made me feel all funny inside. Like it made me feel safe in a really corny but undeniable way. Henry's fingers combed into my damp hair and rubbed my scalp soothingly. Such a simple action made me want to smile big.

It felt so good I could just lay with him like this for hours.

"I remember…" I was about to say but didn't vocalize my thoughts because I realized how they would have scared him. What I wanted to say was that I remembered being in high school and wondering if these were the kinds of things girls did with their boyfriends on lazy Saturday afternoons. My particular fantasy was skipping school with him and just lazying around in his room on a rainy day, talking about our future, or something like music.

"What?" Henry asked. He no longer felt tense and sounded rather comfortable, like he didn't want to move either. I decided to just play pretend for a second.

"Who's your favorite female singer right now?" i asked.

"I think Rihanna is the epitome of perfection right now. Katy Perry but Rihanna is like, my top favorite."

"Rihanna?"

"Perfection."

When I lifted my head to look at him blankly, he went on just to annoy me. "Like there's nothing you can tell me about her."

"Goat," I said in retaliation of the running joke that she sounded like a goat even though I truly liked her unique voice. I honestly secretly liked her music as well. It's just that she was one of those celebrities that made me want to walk around with a hooded robe and a bag over my head. Yeah I was jealous of her appearance.

Henry narrowed his eyes. "I think we're done talking for the moment. Unless you meant greatest of all time…"

"Are you serious?"

"I don't play where my devotion is concerned with that flawless woman. Like if she asked me to give her my soul right now, at this moment, I completely would…Oh Rihanna I love you…"

I rolled my eyes at him.

"What about you? Who's your fav guy?"

"Usher."

"…He's alright. Bruno Mars is better."

"I like Bruno Mars but Usher isn't just alright."

"He's alright compared to Bruno. Wow you're really mad aren't you? Were you planning on having Usher's baby or something?"

"Yes I was and I will some day." I could only imagine how starry my eyes looked. Sometimes the conversations Henry and I had one would be hard pressed to believe that we were over the age of 15 but that's why I liked us. Even though there technically was no us.

I had to keep reminding myself that.

"That doesn't sound crazy at all," Henry teased me.

"Calling Rihanna perfect isn't even one ounce crazy."

"It's fact. Is this your devil alter ego? What should we name her? Satan?" he said it with the sweetest smile.

I rolled my eyes and suddenly my entire body froze. I sat up, then looked at the clock and reacted like I'd been shocked by electricity.

"What?" Henry asked drowsily, lifting himself on his elbows as I scrambled to my feet.

"I'm late! Like 30 minutes late!"

"For what?"

I stared at him like he was an idiot. "Dinner. Birthday dinner. She's gonna be so mad--"

I was moving so quickly and so frantically I tripped over my own feet onto the hard floor.

"Are you okay?"

I heard Henry asking as he lazily tried to wake himself up.

"I'm okay." I assured him, my palms pressing onto the cold wood, pushing myself upward only to see a mischievous yet proud smirk erasing the earlier worry on his face.

"Was it my tongue that made you fall--okay I see the devil's eyes. Gonna go wait in the sitting room."

***

"Half of the guests left. I can't believe you. I'm so angry the only reason I'm not ripping your head off is because Grandma is here."

The earful I expected from Ella came in full force after I made a small apology tour around the table.

We'd finally sat down and I was looking around in a daze. Even though Henry and I had a very lighthearted moment that had eased the tension, the awkwardness and intensity of what happened followed us when we were driving to the restaurant. We were both very stiff, very quiet, and tense. I wondered why but dared not to ask. Henry didn't either. I just hoped he didn't think it was all a mistake. I tried to convince myself it was but I couldn't. I'd enjoyed every moment of it so much that I was still shocked. Still dazed. Still confused as to whether I was currently alive or not. I was in a daze.

Henry and I had showed up late and while I looked very sheepish and impish, Henry was calm as an expert that had done this plenty of times, one couldn't even guess he'd just murdered me with his tongue. I couldn't properly focus on much of anything, which only irritated Ella more.

"What's wrong with you?" she hissed when I didn't respond.

"I…uh…"

She began to get uncomfortable and asked me with a hint of concern. "Valerie what happened?"

"I had my first orgasm," I told her unable to withhold it anymore and all of Ella's riling came to a screeching halt. She sat back in the chair, now suddenly patient as the look of anger melted from her features. It seemed I'd found a new weapon to use against her the next time she was angry with me.

"Say what now?"

"I had my first orgasm. Well, orgasms," I answered as I cautiously looked around me. Thankfully Henry wasn't even sparing me any attention and I could be brutally honest without his eyes on me. Now that it was over, I could ruminate over the chaos and wonder what the fuck had really happened. It wasn't one of those situations where I could question the realness because damn it I still felt his lips on me. It's like that was his intention. He wanted to tattoo himself on me.

I nearly slapped my cheeks they were burning so hot and my heart was racing so fast I wanted to clutch it to make it stop.

But why when…he didn't want a relationship? Now that I had time to come down from my high, I was replaying everything that happened and so many questions kept popping in my head.

Wait. Hold up. Why was I worried about him wanting a relationship? I didn't want one either. We'd already laid the law for that. We both knew what we wanted and that wasn't each other.

We just…wanted each other. Physically. That was totally different…right?

Okay I wasn't going to allow myself to get complicated with it.

When I looked at him again, all the confusion left and my eyes zeroed in on his lips.

Every move he made with his mouth almost made me twitch and long with want. Those lips had just devoured me no shorter than an hour ago.

"Hello!!!" Ella roughly shook me, then suddenly stood up, yanking me with her. "I'm sorry, could you excuse us???"

She didn't wait for a response from the guests, dragging me along with her to the bathroom. Since Henry knew what had just happened I knew it didn’t take rocket science to figure out what I'd just whispered in her ear. I looked over my shoulder to find him waving at me with a smile, showing that he wasn't at all bothered by it. Well, why would he? He knew he was going to get a good report for his tongue work. Tongue work, I can't believe I just thought that.

Once we were in the deserted bathroom, Ella started shuffling her feet restlessly and shrieked at the top of her lungs. Getting over my shock, I placed a hand over her mouth in sheer embarrassment. I could not believe how old she was at times but I tended to get a bit immature over things like this too, so I guess that's why we got along so much.

"Will you shut up?!?!" I riled her.

She ripped my hand from her mouth.

"Oh my god!!! So what do you mean you had your first orgasm? George never gave you one?"

As usual the mention of George's name turned my world upside down. "Nope."

"And you're telling me this now?"

"Yes." I didn't bother explaining to her that there were so many things about my relationship with George that she nor anyone else knew anything about.

"So…how was it?" she started to wind her hips suggestively. "How's the British D?"

"I hate it when you refer to it as that. Stop it!" I said crossly. "And there was no British D." I hesitated before helplessly adding,  speaking as fast as possible before I became a prude once again. "It was a few British fingers and a British tongue." I held my cheeks in shame, looking away. "I can't believe I just said that. You are a horrible influence."

"Oh my god girl he ate you out?!"

Her voice echoed throughout the empty bathroom.

"Just go tell the whole world, why don't you?"

"So, how was it?"

"We were late weren't we?"

Ella squealed with her hands clasped underneath her chin, then she eyed me skeptically. "But why aren't you glowy like you're supposed to be? Was it not good? You look kind of scared?"

"I'm scared because it was too good Ella. I orgasmed like…twice then the third time was like," I made a helpless motion with my hands. "Multiple I don't know, can we not discuss this in detail?"

"Is this the first time a guy has gone down on you? George never?"

"Okay you're asking me way too much now."

She finally stopped being comical and stood up against the counter with her arms folded, regarding me pensively.

"What?" I asked, mistakenly seeing my reflection in the mirror. I helplessly compared my figure to Ella's thin yet curvaceous body. It only reminded me of what Henry had seen and I kind of felt bad for him.

"So I mean…what's the deal between you two?" Ella thankfully pierced into my thoughts and the question shocked me even though the thoughts crossed my mind earlier.

"Nothing," I answered both to Ella and myself. There was nothing there. Nothing.

Ella lifted a skeptical brow. "Nothing?"

At that moment Josephine barged in with all her tall and beautiful glory. The evening dress she wore hugged her slender curves and her skin as always seemed to glow, with the bright red lipstick contrasting amazingly against her ebony skin.

"Oh my god I love you guys," She hugged us as an afterthought and I couldn't show how elated I was to see her because she started rambling. "But I just saw this dark dangerous looking guy. Not my style of dress, you know I'm more of a suit and tie womanbut god he has the sexiest British accent--" Josephine suddenly stopped herself and looked at me wide eyed.

"That's him isn't it? That's the guy you mentioned on the phone?"

"It sure is," Ella confirmed on my behalf and Josephine's eyes lit up with glee. 

"That's the guy?!!?! Holy shit!!!" Josephine looked at me appraisingly. "And here I've questioned your taste all these years." She gave me a hug that was basically a headlock. "I think he's the best looking guy you've ever liked. All the guys you've wanted are so Basicville."

"Remind me again that you're a well respected lawyer. Basicville? Really," I said dryly.

"You have finally come into your own at 27." She gave me a hug.

"In more ways than one!" Ella chirped before bursting into laughter.

"Why am I not in this joke? Val you lucky whore, he has such a cute smile."

"He gave her her first orgasm with that smile!" Ella grinned proudly.

"Ella!" I held my head, walking away from them to keep my sanity.

"Oh shit!" Josephine gushed and then abruptly looked at me in surprise. "Wait, you've never had an orgasm before him?"

"Guys please." I slumped on the wall exhaustingly, almost wishing I hadn't told Ella. "We're grown women. Stop squealing."

"I bet he had you squealing. Meeow!!" Ella clawed her fingers, sending Josephine into fits of laughter.

I shook my head. An elderly woman walked in and smiled politely at us. We returned her smile and once she entered a stall, Josephine whispered a bit too loudly.

"So how is the tongue work???"

I grabbed both of their arms and dragged them with me out the restroom. That was the only way they weren't going to keep speaking about it. At least I hoped.

When I saw Henry at the table among the other guests I ached with want again and started to get horny. Oh lord, I hope this didn't happen every time I saw him.

"He is so fucking fine may the Lord give me strength please!" Josephine exclaimed, making Ella laugh.

I winced as I sat sandwiched by my best friends.

Ella's mother giggled loud enough for us to hear on the other side of the table and we all shared a glance, mine an expression of bewilderment and Ella tickled to the heavens while Josephine was beyond amused.

"I think Mom is ready to drop the panties," Josephine told Ella and I grimaced, burying my face in my hands as Ella conceded.

"She's been trying her best not to openly hump his leg the whole evening. Ever since he walked in. Child…"

"Guys! Please!"

My saving grace came in the form of a group of waiters and waitresses with a beautiful Super Mario themed cake topped with firework candles. I nearly shrieked in excitement, and they blessed us with a comical, unharmonious, but very sweet rendition of happy birthday. It reminded me of Henry's helium-filled happy birthday delivery. And that scented candle. I couldn't help grinning at it all. This might just be the best birthday I'd ever had.

"What are those little people on the cake?" Aunt Veronica asked and Henry leaned in to tell her.

"So what's your wish before you blow out the candles?" Ella asked. I swept my eyes around the table and my eyes briefly stopped at Henry's face. The look of admiration and contemplation coming from his lit eyes made me blush immensely because I was used to seeing guys give other women they fancied that look, so I quickly looked away because of how great the feeling made me feel.

"That's my business you lovely whore," I told Ella with a sweet smile and she laughed.

After making my wish, we had to pick out the raging firework candles and handed them to a waitress. I sliced pieces of cake with the help of Ella and served them around the table. I was hoping Ella would serve Henry his cake, being that he was in her path, but she conveniently left him out and I had to give him some.

My legs were shaky as I set the plate next to him. Just being near him made me irrationally weak. This doggone school girl crush was grueling.

"Thank you madam," He said to me, his gravelly voice grazing the throbbing part of me. I'd literally felt that voice on the most sensitive part of my body. That very voice had made me release in a way like never before.

I barely made eye contact or told him he was welcome before I nearly tripped in my haste back to my seat away from him. This was awful. I was pitiful.

Once sat beside my girls again, I picked at the cake but didn't eat it. It just wouldn't coincide with my diet.

"You should try it. It's good," Ella said from beside me, nearly ten minutes into our conversation and I felt exposed. This was why I hated eating when she was around. She watched me like a hawk whenever I ate. I took a forkful and enjoyed the saccharine delicacy more than I wanted to admit.

"Okay so…what's the deal with you both?" Josephine asked.

"There's no deal. We're just friends," I explained.

"Oh so friends with benefits?"

I pondered the question, realizing that's really what it was.

"Well, kind of."

"I don't know, Val," Ella interjected with a sigh. I shouldn't have been surprised by her tone but I was anyway and looked at her accordingly.

"What?"

Ella hesitated, then shrugged. "I don't think you can handle that kind of thing."

"I think I'm 27 enough to know what I can handle," I said with some bite in my tone that made both Josephine and Ella pause.

"Have you guys talked about it?" Ella pressed.

"Not really but we both know that we don't want a relationship right now," I explained.

"Why not? You guys are cute together," Ella said and I tried not to roll my eyes. Nope. We looked like we didn't match.

"Ella, come on, it doesn't always have to result in a relationship," Josephine, to my surprise, came to my defense. While Ella was very overprotective of me, Josephine, though older than both of us, was always of the thought that every adult was free to do as they pleased. She never jumped in and believed everyone should live their life how they want to as long as they aren't hurting anyone. If they made a mistake, then they'd learn from it on their own. If I asked her opinion she'd offer one but for the most part she let everyone be their own judge.

"You're acting like you don't know who we're talking about here," Ella said and I didn't appreciate the backhanded comment.

"She's not a kid anymore, Ella. You baby her too much. If Val thinks she can handle it, let her handle it. And anyway," she shoved a huge amount of cake in her mouth that wouldn't add one pound to her weight. I envied her for that. "The best lessons are learned through experience, no?"

For once Ella kept quiet and that's why I loved Josephine. She was one of the few people that could have the last word with Ella. Still, I couldn't deny that Ella's concerns were sound. For the majority of my life I'd mostly complained about never having a boyfriend, not never having hook ups. I could see where she got the impression that I could only connect with another man if it meant commitment.

I was sure that I could pull just 'hanging out' and 'hooking up' thing off. After all, George Simmons had made me swear off relationships until I was at least 40. Maybe 50, and by then, I wouldn't be interested in relationships at all, so it would all work out in the end.

Right?

Overall, I had the time of my life that day. I couldn't stop hugging Ella. I was thankful for everyone who showed up and made it an important note to call everyone who'd left because I was late. I also noticed that I was ignoring Henry with affect. It was strange but I didn't like how I seemed to fall apart near him. I'd want to hold his hand or hug him if we were close cause I couldn't get enough. I didn't want to publicly lose my mind because of him.

A few more people had just left and the table got a bit quiet when a lady with brown, shoulder length hair approached. Just one look at her and you could tell she was a career woman who for the most part put professionalism above all else. Well, the softened expression on her face showed that she'd calmed down just a little bit in recent years.

My mother, freckle faced and all, approached the table in a navy blue suit. I wondered when, pushing 60, she would retire, but it didn't look like it would happen any time soon. She was fit as hell, unlike my father who neglected fitness, and her main reason was because she wanted to live long enough to see her firm flourish for years to come. That's why she was grooming my youngest sister Jade to take the same lawyer career path she'd taken. Too bad for her Jade was obsessed with the world of entertainment like the second born had been.

While Mom was just like dad, an obsessor of professional success, she had a much softer side and I guess was the other reason I didn't totally go crazy, but her softness came a little too late. I'd already been programmed to focus on education and career at the behest of everything else. She was also an extremely gorgeous woman who had unknowingly made me jealous all my life. She was naturally slim and I always fretted over why I never looked like her. She'd tried to be helpful with tough love over my weight, but little did either of us know that would only add to a low sense of my physical self. In high school this one guy asked me why I wasn't as pretty as my mother once when she'd come to pick me up instead of sending the babysitter of the time to do so.

Our relationship had become much better, but I couldn't ignore the sense of more pride and less embarrassment she felt ever since my weight had been lost. Lucky for me academic performance was exception, cause I wondered had I been a 'so-so' student, if my mother would have been proud of me at all and her pride was all I had to hold on to since nothing I did ever seemed to impress my dad.

"Hey Mom," I smiled as I stood up to give her a hug and a peck on the cheek.

"You look better and better each time, sweety," She complimented, assessing my body as if trying to make sure I hadn't put the pounds back on, like it worried her. I shook my head, remembering that my therapist told me sometimes it was my own paranoia that skewed my perception of my parents. My mother had told me herself I accused her wrongly many times about her intentions in regards to my weight and that I made everything about my weight moreso than others did.

"You do too,but that goes without saying," I said. "Everyone, this is my mother," I told some of the friends in attendance that hadn't met her yet and she got a greeting. I sought Henry to find his expression very intrigued and observant as he watched us but not for long, Aunt Vivian stole his attention again. That shameless woman.

"So where's dad?" I asked as she occupied the seat beside me cause Ella moved a seat down to accommodate her.

"He had an important meeting. He sent these though."

The bright bouquet she handed me was the last thing I could ever see my father going out to buy. He was the type who would get mother and I new gadgets for valentine's day, and that's when he even remembered.

I smiled wryly as I took the bouquet. "He forgot, didn't he?"

My mother tried to save face, her face beaming into a forced smile. "No of course not!"

I shook my head. "Yeah he did." I smiled thankfully at my mother. "It's okay. Not the first time. Thanks for coming mom."

My mom patted my hand and handed me a gift of her own, a book about becoming vegetarian. I forced a smile and hugged her tight, telling myself it's the thought that counted. She soon went to sit by Aunt Vivian, her younger sister. Josephine returned to the table and her, Ella and I made small talk when Josephine suddenly started grinning, looking behind me. I followed her gaze to see that Henry was walking over to us. My heart began hammering at my chest.

Ella saw him too and started squealing.

"Oh god he's coming over here," Ella whispered.

"And he's tall! He's actually tall! Maybe, what, 6'3?" Josephine gushed.

"You guys shut up!" I grated and smiled painfully when he was near us.

"Hello ladies."

I saw Josephine's jaw go slack from periphery but didn't bother confirming it. I'm sure most people were surprised when they heard how deep his voice was.

"Henry! Loving the jacket you rocker you," Ella said and he nodded affably.

"Thank you." His eyes switched to Josephine, who was staring at him open mouthed, I swear she was seconds away from drooling. "I don't think we've met before." Henry held out his hand to her. "You are?"

"Charmed…" Josephine said and while Ella laughed I looked at my friend in shock. It was rare that anyone ever got Josephine speechless. And the one word she had to use was 'charmed'. How much lamer could she get?

Henry's eyebrows lifted, but he eventually just smiled and nodded while shaking her hand.

"Interesting…" He tried to pull his hand away when the shake was over but Josephine held on. Even I couldn't help but laugh. This was a sight to see for someone who liked her guys tall, dark, and handsome like the Djimon Hounsou type yet here she was, latching onto Henry Walker. Ella poked her side and Josephine let go, completely unashamed by how smitten she was. I knew part of it was her just playing around, which was why I loved my friends so much. We could all be silly together without shame; well them more than me.

Henry, an easy going fella, took it all in stride and just smiled while pocketing his hands in his back pockets and rocking on the heel of his shoes.

"May I kidnap the birthday girl for a while?" he asked next.

"Please do. Pleeeaase!" Ella begged, basically pushing me off the chair so roughly in nearly fell. "Take all the time you need Henry."

"Okay…" Henry said with a laugh as he stepped aside to give me room. As we left, I spotted my mom's curious gaze and felt it all the way out of the restaurant, especially since Henry had his hand on my lower back. Once we were outside, Henry wasted no time pulling me to him and brandishing my lips with his.

When we pulled back I was speechless in shock cause for starters I'd never kissed a guy in front of my mom and I knew she could see us through the large display window of the restaurant. Not to mention the bright lights that displayed the restaurant name were bathing Henry and I right now. Yeah, they all saw us.

"I have to go," he said ruefully and I reacted like I'd been slapped into reality.

"What?!"

"I'm running late actually. I have a flight to catch, remember."

"But you just got here!" I clutched onto his shirt dramatically and he laughed as he took my hands in his and kissed the knuckles.

"I'm not even supposed to be here. I have to be in Paris."

"Wh--Oh then why did you come if you had so much to do?"

"I had to see you on your birthday. Figure out why you hate them so much."

I blushed and felt a bit confused. Was that too much when we had just met? Should I have been worried? As if realizing he'd said too much too, Henry broke eye contact and let go of my hands slowly. Worrying his plump bottom lip with his teeth, he shoved his hands into his back pockets.

"It's not a big deal. Well, actually it is, cause it's your birthday, but for me it's not a problem." He started to back up. "You take care, Valerie."

"Wa-" I cut myself short. I was going to ask him when I'd see him again. Wouldn't that mean having strings attached? That's not how this was going to be. I would see him when I saw him, and I didn't want him thinking I was already attached to him.

"Take care, Henry." I said with a smile and a coy wave. He gave me a farewell nod and spun on his heels. Dusk had befallen, with the softly glowing street lights dimly lighting the wet streets. He somehow made the already picturesque scenery more awing. I nearly ran after him and asked him to take me with him but I knew at that point I was doing too much. It was a pretty sight watching him walk, shoulders hunched as he expertly weaved through the crowd like he was made to be part of the city.

Unlike me, who got bumped into for being in people's way. I snapped out of it and went back into the restaurant, most eyes from the table no me.

"I saw the way he kissed you. He's got it bad," Ella said and I only smiled. We all decided to have our own little girl's night out at the clubs later on. Ella and Josephine left to their cars and waited for me while I went to tell my mother goodbye sitting by her to help her sort out all the cards and gifts.

"Honey, who was that boy that's dressed like he's still in a high school band? Clearly you can date someone who dresses better than that?" she kept her eyes busy on her items in front of her and barely looked my way like usual ever since I was a child. She'd gotten better at it but it was just habit for her to be preoccupied. I shrugged as I gathered up the gift bags.

"I like the way he dresses," I hedged without saying what I was to him and vice versa. Hell, I didn't know. No way any young woman would reveal to her mother she had friends with benefits.

"What does he do?" she asked next and I realized I hadn't even formally introduced Henry to my mother.

I hadn't ever thought about introducing Henry to my parents because, well, I didn't introduce all my friends to my parents. There was always a question of 'what do they do?'. In high school it was 'what do their parents do?'. In college it was 'what do they plan to do?' There was always a 'only surround yourself around people who want to succeed in life', but 'life' according to my parents meant education and career only.

I wasn't surprised by her asking me this question, though it was weird because I hadn't heard it in a while. Maybe it's cause I hadn't seen her in a while and she'd eased up since I'd finally completed my masters and was working an okay job for now.

"He's a music producer," I finally answered and she made an inscrutable face, then laughed.

"Well, I got to give it to him. That's a nice divergence from being the regular rock star. What is he doing? Waiting for his big break?"

"His big break already came. His net worth is actually almost as much as you and dad's combined." The impossibility of that was written all over her face.  

“Unless he is Mark Zuckerberg or at least David Karp," My mother said.

While my parents valued money for sustainability, it was education and smarts in their field that often got them to respect others. They were academic snobs.

“Songwriters make lots in publishing,” I explained, still trying to keep my calm, not allowing her negativity to ruin this night for me.

“But nowhere near internet entrepreneurs. And anyway, anyone can lie these days."

"It's not so hard to believe that someone who doesn't work as an engineer or a lawyer in a suit can be filthy rich, mother."

"But does he own any businesses? Does he own a company? When are you going to start on yours anyway?"

I sighed impatiently. "He owns the rights to his songs."

"Does he?"

"Yeah."

"That's nice. Now what exactly is his net worth?"

I didn't really know, but according to his Wikipedia page--and I use it as a source very loosely-- he was one of the most sought after in the business now. Some of his songs were used in blockbuster movies and commercials for crying out loud. You couldn't go wrong with commercials.

Maybe his net worth wasn't on par with my father's but Henry was doing just fine for himself. Even if he wasn't filthy rich, I wouldn't care. I preferred people who didn't put so much emphasis on money anyway. It always made me nervous growing up, the idea that not having enough money meant your entire existence and worth in life was of no use. Henry never boasted about his career goals or achievements or how much money he had. Hell when I saw the kind of car he drove when he dropped me off my eyes nearly fell out of my head but since he didn't make much out of it, I didn't either. I liked that after being in circles where competition and being number one at everything was the focal point of life.

“I don’t know. He’s doing fine. I don’t think it’s good to discuss other people’s finances,” I told my mother something she’d taught me, feeling really uncomfortable. My mother wasn’t usually this uncouth and I had a good feeling it had something to do with seeing me so publicly affectionate with the opposite sex for the first time. The last person my parents even knew I was in a relationship with was George, and the most we'd ever done in front of them was hold hands.

"You’re right. Don't bother with him," my mother said next. "He is just playing with you any way. He doesn’t look like he could focus on one thing. If there's one thing about those entertainment industry types, they aren't stable because they don't have stable environments." She sighed. "Why couldn't you have just stayed with George? He was the perfect choice. Everything about him was perfect. Smart. Ambitious. Goal oriented. He would have been a great addition to this family."

I froze from putting all my stuff together and looked at my mother to see if she was serious. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My mother had never said these words so bluntly. She’d insinuated that she’d really liked George and I together but never blatantly just spelled it out. I wondered if seeing Henry was what pushed her to say something so hurtful. With my stuff packed, I stiffly stood up.

"I'm done having this conversation,” I murmured in monotone, locked up and guarded once again.

"You always shut down whenever someone tries to give you a helpful critique. You were the one who chased him away, you know. There are certain things you have to do to keep a man, and he was nice enough to date you when no one else would."

I shot up to my feet, grabbing my purse.

"Sweetheart--"

"No I…thank you, for the reminder. But don't worry. Henry isn't doing me any favors. We're just friends. I'm glad you came, Mom. Goodnight."

I hurried out of the restaurant, then remembered Ella and Josephine were waiting for me. I didn't want to see them in the moment. I was in crisis mode and needed some alone time. I was feeling irritated and frustrated so much that I didn't want to be around anyone. I walked into the adjacent establishment, hiding from anyone that might have followed, and asked them frantically if I could use their restroom. Although suspicious, they let me in.

I lingered in the bathroom stall until I heard the woman in there leaving. Leaning against the door, I stared at the haunting toilet bowl in front of me.

How could she say such a thing to me? On my birthday? My eyes began to water as pain I remembered from growing up filled me from not ever really being able to open up to my parents.

I knew that by letting her get to me this way, I was giving her power, but I couldn't ignore it. I hated that I valued my parents' opinions so much. This was a huge step back in our relationship for her to say something so hurtful about George. Could I blame her? She didn't know everything about us.

No one did.

I closed my eyes, willing the memories away, but I was hard pressed to do so. I was also blocking that toilet bowl from my view. That enemy. Which I eventually gave in to.

I dropped to my knees and leaned over the bathroom with my hand jammed into my mouth when a text I received stopped me from completing this bad habit I'd picked up in high school when the bullying got too intense. I hadn't done this in a long while since my therapy sessions but…

Luckily I chose not to ignore my phone and saw a text from Henry.

Henry: I hope you had a good birthday 27 Peaches ;-D

I stared at his text, blinking at unshed tears. Embarrassment engulfed me as I thought of how I was really about to forcefully throw up as a way of gaining some kind of control. It was the only means of control I had ever since I was little. When I couldn't govern my grades, or my weight, or how many friends I could have, or couldn't control having my parents talk to me about anything other than academia, I had control over what I threw up and what I didn't. I know to many it was a cop out, 'first world' problem, but that didn't make it any less real of a problem and a coping mechanism I used to use.

I felt very disappointed in myself, how I could let myself take so many steps back because of what my mother said.

If I didn't talk to someone, I would begin throwing up up until there was nothing there. Wiping my tears, I leaned against the stall wall and clutched my eyes shut, pressing my thumb against the letter H. I was taut and wired like chains were binding me. He answered after the second ring.

"Hello?"

The sound of his deep voice seemed to make the chains fall in one swoop and I gushed unthinkingly.

"Turn around." I ordered, hoping he couldn't hear my tears.

"What?" he asked confusedly and I gnawed my bottom lip uncertainly.

"Just come back. Please…" I begged this time in a tiny voice.

I didn't know why I was asking him this when therapy had told me time and time again I needed to find inner strength instead of using a host of things to keep me going. While I knew relying on my own strength would have been the best option, I also remembered her saying that there was nothing wrong with reaching out. So much of my life had been spent making sure I had it all together if anything just to keep my parents from harping on me.

"I wish I could, but I'll miss my flight." He paused. "What's wrong, love?"

I opened my mouth to say something, realizing how selfish I was being. I needed to get a hold of my emotions.

"Nothing. I just wanted to hear you talk. I know that's weird."

"You wanted me to come back all the way so you could hear me talk?"

My lips effortlessly flickered in a smile. "Yes smarty pants."

"Are you crying?"

"No! Not crying." I frantically wiped at my eyes, painfully cleared my throat. "Not cause you left. Cause…" I gnawed my lip hesitantly. "Can you stay with me on the phone until you have to leave?"

"Only if you'll tell me what's wrong."

I hesitated, stuck between a rock and a hard place. I didn't want him to leave me alone at that moment.

"I wish my parents understood me better." I said quietly and gulped hard, trepidation suddenly seizing me, that maybe I'd done the wrong thing by confiding in him, but I fought that feeling off. I never really spoke about my parents to anyone because I felt like I was betraying them if I did. My parents were very well known in the community and I'd hate for their names to be soiled by my woes. I didn't think they were bad people but sometimes I couldn't understand why they did things the way they did.

"It has to be tough that they don't," Henry finally said in a nonjudgmental tone and I calmed down.

"Yeah, but it's okay."

"You wouldn't be calling me if it was okay, would you?"

I knew if I retracted everything I said it would be very annoying especially since I was the one that broached the subject. "They want me to be like, just like them and I can't. Something inside won't let me just conform especially after doing it all these years I feel like I'm about to combust into flames from not being myself for so long.."

"It's that fire inside of you that I saw when we first met."

Henry's words surprised me and made me pause.

"That's why you have to just live your own life," he continued. "You should know by now. I mean, are you happy where you are, Valerie?"

It suddenly sounded very quiet.

"Are you still driving? I don't want to distract you."

"I pulled over to a parking lot."

I frowned and began to guiltily ramble. "Henry--"

"Are you happy where you are?"

He wouldn't let me feel bad over him stopping. I pondered his question. Generally no I wasn't happy with my life, but who was ever happy with their life? I felt weird being asked this by someone who wasn't being paid to ask.

"And whose rules have you followed so far that's put you in this position?" he went on. "You won't be able to blame your parents any longer for not being happy. It's your life and you have to make the choices now, not Mom or Dad. I don't know the situation fully but I'm just inferring here. Why can't you just try to do what makes you happy? It's possible, you know?"

"Are you happy?" I found myself asking, realizing that while I knew a lot about Henry, he was still very much a mystery to me.

"Am I happy?" he seemed taken aback that I even asked. I didn't blame him and felt bad. It was always about me and my issues and him taking care of me. Hell, I hadn't even returned the favor to him earlier. I wanted to be there for him as much as he was for me.

"Yes, where you are. Are you happy?"

Henry took a while to answer.

"I am happy, right now, yes."

I couldn't help the smile that overcame my lips when he put emphasis on 'right now'. For some reason him being happy mattered a lot to me already. Him being happy made me very happy.

"Okay. Well, that makes me feel better. Thank you." I couldn't stop smiling.

"No fair. I can't feel better till you answer my question." he paused. "Are you?"

I was grinning and had forgotten for a brief moment my conversation with my mother or the fact that I'd almost relapsed.

"Yes, I'm happy right now," I told him honestly, putting emphasis on 'right now' as he had done too.

"Okay, good."

"Well since you had to stop driving, I'll have to get off the phone. Don't want you to be late."

"I'll put you on speaker. I just stopped because you sounded like you were crying and I wanted to give you my full attention."

I could hear the engine revving to life as I tried to feel casual despite his words. Nonetheless my heart was doing flips within me and I was filled with so much elation but also guilt.

"You shouldn't stop just cause I'm crying. So you're going to your brother's show?"

"Yeah I wanted to get there tonight so I could hang with him tomorrow before the show."

"I haven't had a chance to look at their stuff."

"They're…interesting."

"Why do you say it like that?! You don't think they're good?"

"No they're good. They're just a bunch of young lads having a good laugh, so I can't hate on that. They are just too playful at times. I just worry about him sometimes."

"Howcome? Well, other than the fact that it's purely normal for an older brother to worry about their younger siblings."

"I don't know I feel like I've let him down in a way, and I can't make it up."

"How do you mean?"

"I had to be away a lot when he was younger. I was the one providing for the family at some point. I feel like, because my dad wasn't always really there. I'm the one who should have taught him to be a man, all the things my father should have taught him, but I was too busy working. Too busy trying to make a way."

"I can't imagine what that feels like. All that lost time, but I'm sure your brother is very grateful to you cause of that. Didn't you help him get his foot in the door?"

"Oh no. He did it all by himself."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He'd always ask me to put him on but I always told him he needed more work. Took matters into his own hands and auditioned for one of those singing shows. I've never really been a fan of those kinds of shows but it looks like it's worked to his favor in the long run."

"Oh wow. That's amazing. I haven't googled them yet."

"Don't."

I laughed. "Why not?!?!"

"You'll run into all kinds of stuff. Not just stuff he's done. The creepy things his fans do. Those fanfics, stories about them, Jesus one of my friends sent me one of them as a joke. Never read anything like that and never will again."

I laughed and then said, "I bet you're proud of your brother though."

"I've never been prouder. Of my sister too. She just graduated a year ago and started teaching this summer."

"That's so cool. So she's not into music like you and your bro?"

"Not at all. She's the brainy one. Ben and I have mashed potatoes for brains so, music was the only option."

"Will you give yourself some credit? There are a lot of technicalities in music that require brains. And I bet writing songs isn't as easy as it looks."

"Hmmm…"

"What? What did I do now?"

"You are playing a very dangerous game with me, Valerie."

His words sent a shiver down my spine. Was this dude truly crazy or what, why would he say those words like that?

I laughed, trying to make the conversation lighter. "What? Because I acknowledge that your job may not be that easy? I may not be a music connoisseur but I had to learn how to play the piano as a child and I respect anyone who can play Mary Had A Little Lamb without fumbling. Was forced to be in band all throughout high school. It was no joke okay?"

"So you were in a band too?"

"Now my band was cool okay? Not that pop stuff you probably did."

"Ha..ha…"

"I played the flute."

"That's so amazing."

Most people laughed but he sounded actually amazed.

"I guess. You need to stop downplaying what you do. I don't know if all this humble talk helps you stay ahead of the game or what. Just chill."

"Look who is telling who to chill. The most unchillest person in the universe."

"Unchillest. About that mashed potatoes for brains…"

Henry laughed. We talked for another thirty minutes before unfortunately he had to get ready to leave.

"Sorry to cut this short, but--"

"No no thank you so much for your time. Have a safe flight, please."

"I will let my flight know you begged for my safety. We'll see if they agree to it."

"Smartass." I mumbled, secretly surprised and very happy deep inside.

He chuckled. "Take care, Valerie."

I didn't want to say goodbye. I wanted to keep him on the phone longer for some reason.

"Bye, Henry."

I was so blind sighted. Little did I know, that farewell would stretch for a long while.

I didn't see him, or hear from him for another month. No strings attached, alright.

Chapter 13




"Trust me, they're not as bad as people say they are," Ella told me as we crossed the busy street to a large black building where we would be watching a fighting match. We had to drive a long ways from our town into the next. Peter had invited her to a Mixed Martial Arts fighting match. I hadn't been out much, focused mostly on work at the expense of everything else--even my weight. That's why at first I'd been real apprehensive to go but an earlier chat I had with my therapist persuaded me to do different. She wanted me to have confidence no matter what weight I was at and asked me to try something different--so I did. I cut my hair into a dirty blond curly hair afro that I ended up liking a lot.

Plus, I was wearing a skirt and even heels--something I rarely did in the daytime without any stockings. I was tickled by the surprise on Ella's face when she picked me up and saw my outfit and new hair. I decided hey, why not. I'd been working so hard I needed a break anyway.

We showed the security guard our tickets and I was met with an unexpected atmosphere when we first stepped into the building. It was extremely chill, and all the people there were reminiscent of those we saw at the club Henry took me to last time. I rolled my eyes to myself when he crossed my mind.

After one whole month of not hearing from him I was kind of over it. I had tried calling him three times but no luck. He was actively ignoring me so I got the message. Thankfully, Ella knew not to ask after I made her believe I wasn't really interested in him. Without my asking she'd told me Peter said Henry was kind of hard to reach when he went into 'work mode' and I made sure my response was disinterested but without any attitude that would give away that I may have felt something about his lack of communication.

Which, I told myself, I felt nothing about. I focused on work and my life as much as I could so that I wouldn't think about him…until I once opened the front page of Yahoo! to look at a particular incident that happened a few weeks ago. His brother's band was on the front of Yahoo!'s news page and my heart had leaped because of the striking resemblance he and his brother shared. I'd been tempted to Google Henry to see if I could find anything but told myself not to waste my time like that. What good would that do me? I would just leave it all alone and take his time with me as something that was fun while it lasted.

Ella and I went up the steps that led to a floor filled to capacity.

People were in small groups, standing about chatting. After Ella got her beer and I got a water, we moved into the spacious stadium and occupied the seats closest to the boxing ring. I looked about in awe of it all. I never really took in the 'entertainment' factor of fighting matches. There was an indescribable energy floating throughout the room so strong I could feel it in my veins.

The nudging on my arm made me look at Ella, who pointed to the busy, blue floor circling the boxing ring for those who had front row floor seats. I followed her finger and my heart shot to my throat. My entire body froze when I saw the signature dark brown curls, the beaming smile, and the deep dimples.

Henry Walker.

Seeing him filled me with an emotion I'd never felt in my whole life and it's one I couldn't describe accurately or adequately. I went from elated, to dread, to fear, to confusion, and then, to sadness, and nervousness. All these feelings combined and I felt them all at once which left me exhausted but also holding my breath in a matter of seconds.

His curls were pushed away from his face as he regarded the boxing ring. As I clamped my thighs together another feeling that bombarded me was arousal. He was wearing the serious expression that usually made me weak, dark eyebrows pinched. He was bobbing his head to the heavily thumbing rap song. His act of chewing gum brought attention to his sharp jaw, making me aroused. His gum chewing also brought attention to his muscular neck.  Which only brought more attention to his broad, squared shoulders. That only brought more attention to his tattooed arms, muscles more pronounced due to his folded arms. And from what I could see in the constant-changing lighting of the stadium, he wore a dark teal colored shirt that made me weak.

He wore dark jeans ripped at the knees and I couldn't see his shoes, but from what I could see, Henry Walker looked damn good.

Crazy good. Sinfully good.

Unfairly good.

Fuck him.

My eyes flew back to his expression, and the serious glint in his eyes as he watched the stage. When a manicured small hand touched his left arm, he leaned that way, lowering his head till a woman's face came up to his ear.

My chin dropped disapprovingly when I took in the female that was vying for his attention. Well she didn't have to vie long.

Henry's eyes fell on her and he looked at her like she was the only person in a room that was filling to capacity. I'd think she was getting preferential treatment if he didn't do this to everyone--literally you'd think you were the most important person in his life once you got his attention.

I hated that about him because I liked it very much but seeing him look at someone else the way he looked at me reminded me that I wasn't special to him in any kind of way. And why would I be? We hadn't known each other that long. I convinced myself he wasn't that important to me either.

The woman had long, ruler straight, honey brown hair down to her arms. She was very toned, most notably her extremely defined stomach, which was revealed from the small top she wore and the red hot pants that had her behind hanging out. Her legs were just as enviably muscled, with defined calves, which were emphasized by the six inch red heels she wore.

Henry threw his head back laughing at what she said, making his pearly whites gleam and showcasing just how lovely his neck was. I bit my bottom lip thinking I could have licked and sucked on that neck when I had him on my bed. Miss Tiny Shorts shyly curled her hair behind her ear and smiled, thoroughly pleased at garnering that reaction from him.

I took note of how her hand had never left his arm, feeling irrationally jealous and possessive. 

I tried not to roll my eyes, and remembering that I wasn't alone, I smiled at Ella.

"I guess he's back in town?" I said casually and pleasantly even though I wanted to march up to him and ask him where the fuck he'd been.

"What's going on with you two? You don’t talk about him much."

I waved her off as I sat back with my arms folded and watched the empty boxing ring.

"Nothing. He's a fun dude, but not my cup of tea though."

I had to save face. My face was hot but I trained my features to be as complacent as possible without looking too forced. I was feeling too hurt for someone who'd only met the guy about four times. I needed to get a grip.

"What do you mean?!" Ella tried to take issue with me but when I didn't elaborate thankfully she left the situation alone because she got a call on her phone. I knew she didn't want to tire herself out trying to figure out what was going on with Henry and I. Hell, I didn't even know. I guess nothing really was going on.

I covertly slid my eyes in his direction again and tensed when I saw him leaning down to speak with his lips close to her ear. The very lips that had…

I shook the thoughts away and tried to focus on something else, but my eyes kept drifting back to them.

Suddenly Henry got in a fighter's stance with feet apart, and so did the woman. They playfully shot jabs at each other, with Henry ducking and dodging her blocks, bouncing on his feet like a pro. He then playfully uppercut her stomach, though his fists never actually making contact with her.

The muscles in his sinewy arms bulged, and my mouth watered wondering if that's what they did when he yanked me to him and put his mouth on my--

"Do you come to fights often?"

Distractedly I turned to the person that was sitting next to me, a handsome guy with brown skin and low cropped hair with amazing dark brown eyes. I tried not to be surprised that he was talking to me, and normally I'd have shied away from the attention, but for some reason that day I had the confidence of a lion.

"No. I'm new to this. Will you be my guide or are you new to this too?"

I had never been so forward but there was this burning feeling in me that was just pushing me like never before. He looked a bit taken aback but he smiled, revealing a row of straight white teeth.

"I wouldn't mind at all. Phillip." He held out his hand to me and I put mine in his with a smile.

"Valerie."

We talked a bit about MMA fighting matches, the stars that would be playing tonight, and the bets that were going around on certain players. I hadn't even realized Ella was gone until she came back moments later, chatting on her phone.
 
The lights in the stadium dimmed and the crowd roared as the spotlight fell on the boxing ring. Occasional starry flashes from people's cameras blinked from the darkened crowd and the energy swelled to greater proportions. Even as someone who didn't care for fights I found myself getting excited.

The fights were more entertaining than I thought they'd be, although I couldn't watch it all without covering my face at the gruesome parts. I tried my best not to look at Henry but to no avail. By now he was standing with three other guys, Peter included. They were all either laughing, joking or watching intently, howling and cheering along with the rest of the crowd whenever an expert punch or kick was executed. I forced myself to ignore them and focused on the fight. After two sets of fighters had a few rows they stopped for a break, the stadium lighting up again. Phillip and I were making small talk and I found that I really liked him. He seemed genuinely interested in me and was approaching in in a very subtle way that I appreciated way more than being pounced on. My feelings and thoughts weren't haywire around him and I liked that better than how my nerves and senses came crushing down like how it was from the first time I met Henry. Phillip was like a calm summer day and Henry was like those surprise storms that come and ruin your life on that one day you were bored wondering if there was more to life.

He didn't seem too nice or force any kind of charm and just his friendly nature made me so at ease I could talk to him easily. I was actually hoping he would ask for my number and if he didn't I would take charge and ask him myself.

"So what's your friend's name?" Phillip asked after Ella had gone to get us some lightweight drinks.

"Ella, my cousin. She's the best," I said, grinning.

"She is. She's gorgeous. Can you hook me up? I mean damn, she's beautiful."

The smile that I was wearing wavered and I saw he was still staring at the door Ella had exited from. My heart plummeted as history repeated itself from a long time ago. I'd had this happen many times, guys befriending me just so that they could get closer to Ella. And I always fell for it thinking they were interested in me. Reality fucking check, huh? I was already in a bad mood, so this certainly didn't help. I shouldn't have been so let down and should have been used to it. It just hadn't happened in a while since Ella got into a relationship with Peter.

"She is. She has a boyfriend too," I tried to keep any bitterness from my voice because being jealous was never cute and this was my best friend in the whole world but that didn't mean I didn't feel jilted deep down inside. Phillip looked at me, slight disappointment written on his handsome face, but there was more expectation.

"Oh…not surprised."

I sighed. "Don't worry, I know how it feels when you find out someone attractive has someone."

He smiled, a bit embarrassed but taking it all in stride. "He's a lucky guy. She must get hit on a lot, right?"

"You have no idea."

"And where's your man at?"

This is what normally happened when people found out Ella was taken, since they'd already spent time warming up to me they had no qualms making me their second choice just because I was what was available at the time.

Kind of what Henry did--making me the girl of the moment while he was visiting the states. Not that it was wrong because he hadn't made me any promises…

Something made me look over where Henry was standing and when I saw him surrounded by three females all speaking to him, I became more irritated.

"I don't have one," I said and Phillip lowered his suggestive eyes to my lips.

"You want one for the night?"

The blank expression I gave him made him laugh with a shake of his head.

"Okay, how about this, singles unite?" he held up his beer can to me. I could be pissed at him but I was so over everything I didn't even have the energy to be, so I picked up my empty plastic cup and tapped it against his can.

"And by unite I hope you meant sit next to each other and watch a fighting match, no other form of uniting," I said blandly and Phillip nodded, swallowing his beer.

"Yes ma'am."

The break was elongated and Phillip and I talked a lot more, with me less excited about the prospects of where the conversation would lead, but still glad I had someone to talk to that could distract me from sneaking glances at Henry. I was fucking over him too.

That is until I heard a deep British voice from behind me saying hello. Phillip's eyes lit up as he stood up and before I know it, he was giving Henry a dab and a one armed hug.

"Hey man how are you? Didn't know you were in town!" Phillip said and I couldn't understand why it annoyed me so much that Henry knew him. This whole fucking town loved him, huh.

"Hey Henry!!!" We heard from behind us and turned to see a group of women probably in their early twenties waving at him. He beamed at them and returned their wave; what a people person.

"Yeah I just came in a few days ago. How are both of you?"

Henry's eyes hadn't locked with mine with any awkwardness or guilt. He averted his gaze casually between the both of us. His body language was relaxed and confident, with not one guilty bone in his body. So he clearly didn't think not calling me back was wrong. That only incensed me, but two could play this game. I kept my expression pleasant with a happy smile on my face. I kept telling myself I was not bothered. I was not bothered at all.

"Good. You two know each other?" Phillip asked us both.

"Not really," I quickly responded and grabbed Phillip's wrist, forcing him to sit back down. "I know him through a friend. Henry Walker, right?"

Henry's smile widened and he laughed lightly. "I'm surprised you remember my name Valerie. Yes, you are correct."

"It's actually Valheroine." I smiled big and Henry's shook his head and sighed.

"I really do apologize for that. Speaking of which, he was supposed to send you some flowers--"

"I got the flowers," I said. The only thing I heard in relation to Henry were a bouquet of roses and an apology from his brother Ben for calling me Valheroine. I was sure he only did it because Henry made him to, the note said he couldn't even remember calling me that and told me to please not tell Henry he couldn't remember calling me that.

"Speaking of which, I wasn't able to tell you that I got them. They were beautiful. I'm being so rude, Henry, this is my date, Phillip, Phillip well you know who he is."

"Huh?" Phillip asked confusedly and I continued to grin, linking my hand with Phillip's and squeezing painfully tight as I smiled at Henry.

"So what have you been up to?" I asked Henry.

"So you guys are dating?" he asked instead of answering me. "Good deal, good deal. You guys make a lovely couple."

I searched for any sign of jealousy. Nothing. Nothing. There was not one iota of envy or anything on his face. It angered me more but made me play this silly game even further, one would be shocked to believe I just turned 27 a month ago.

"Thanks Henry. So do you and that prostitut--I mean that referee girl."

Henry's dimple deepened as he smiled with his head down and a shake of his head when I referred to that woman all over him as a prostitute. That was uncalled for, but so what.

"She's a very nice girl but we're not dating."

"It looks like you're dating her. And that other girl you were talking to later. And the other one with the yellow shirt. I'm sorry it's so hard to tell with you." I said with an innocent, joking laugh that Phillip joined in on. I knew then I had to reel it in because my biting remarks were becoming obvious.

"You know I do remember you being funny but your sense of humor has changed." The laid back grin never left Henry's face as he said those words.

"No it hasn't changed. We just didn't know each other that long for you to make that judgment. So how do you two know each other?" I changed the subject quickly.

"Through friends." Henry said.

"That's cool."

"So how long have you two been dating,Phillip?" his eyes swung to Phillip and I knew he was being deliberate in questioning Phillip and not me.

"Uh, 6 months," Phillip said.

"6 months?!" I wailed. Shit!

"6 months," Henry said with a knowing smile and a slow nod. "Good, good."

He knew damn well that wasn't good when I'd made it perfectly clear I hadn't dated the last time I spoke to him.

"You are so whack you can't even remember, it's been about three weeks. How did you get 6 months?"

"W-Well okay what I meant was we were talking on and off for 6 months and didn't start officially dating till three weeks ago," Phillip thankfully rectified.

"It's fine, you don't have to explain yourselves to me. Are you all enjoying the fight?" Henry asked next.

"Man did you see how Teko swung at him in the last round?" Phillip began.

"Teko is a beast…"

The two delved into an in depth discussion about the fighters, one which I couldn't join in on. How could I? The wheels in my mind wouldn't stop turning.

I couldn't believe this shit. So he was really going to talk to me like nothing happened? I was feeling so much pain inside. What the hell had I been thinking those few times we hang out? That something would come of it? Had he led me on? Technically no because he'd never promised me anything. But why…I don't know…

Eventually Ella returned with Peter and we all sat together. Henry to my left and Phillip to my right.

I was too distracted, trying to make sure my knees or arms didn't bump with Henry's. Trying not to allow his voice and scent pierce into my mind or seep into my pores. I'd mentally threatened to leave so many times, but the fucked up thing was...I wanted to sit next to him because i'd missed the warmth that I normally felt from him even when we didn't touch. I missed the deep, confident sound of his voice. I'd missed just being able to look at him, even though right now I did everything in my power not to look his way.

Thankfully they were so engrossed in the fight I wasn't paid much any mind until Henry threw in a few remarks here and there. Once when I got too quiet, he had the nerve to ask me if I was okay. If that wasn't an insult I don't know what was, but we were around others and I still had my dignity. I wouldn't let anyone know that he was geting to me.

When the fight was over I was relieved, only to find out that there was an after party that Ella so desperately wanted to go to.

The ambiance of the party was pretty cool and had the same kind of vibe the fighting match did--with all kinds of people just vibing off of each other. The music was great and so were the little appetizers served by barely clothed waitresses.

While our small group milled about, I grabbed Phillip's hand and escaped the rest of them. When I looked over my shoulder I saw that Henry was looking at us but with an inscrutable expression that turned into a smile when we caught him looking. He held up his plastic cup to us. I felt like I was being mocked but at that moment I was getting tired trying to figure him out.

I didn't drink either like I was tempted to do. I wasn't going to let some man make me act a fool just cause I was pissed at him. If I was going to drink it's because I wanted to drink. I danced with Phillip and actually kind of had fun…until I kept spotting Henry with his group of friends. Some who happened to be female. He hadn't paid me any attention the entire time and I could no longer lie to myself--it was hurting me.

A girl offered him a beer but he declined. Though she had all his interest. His hand was on her waist. He let her flirt with him.

And then she kissed him. While he didn't kiss her back, he didn't stop her and neither did he act surprised when she pulled back. I was officially done and pretended he wasn't there. If I acknowledged how much this was all hurting me I'd wear my heart on my sleeve and let him know I didn't like it, and I didn't want to make that mistake with him: someone who obviously didn't care.

I was grinding on Phillip slowly, running my fingers through my hair with one hand and holding a cup of juice up with the other. All the while my eyes were closed as I tried to imagine that I was desirable to someone. Hell, just trying to enjoy myself period.

"Are you having fun?" Phillip asked me, interrupting my dance and my thoughts. I leaned into his shoulder as I turned my face ot his neck to answer back while still dancing on him.

"Hell yeah!"

"But you need to stop using me to make him jealous Valerie."

His words made me pause and I turned to face him. Before I spoke, Phillip cut me off.

"It's obvious that there's something going on between you and him. You need to fix that instead of wasting your time here with me."

I was irritated and pissed and had a lot to say but didn't say it.

"Okay," I finally said in a clipped response and Phillip smiled gently..

"Goodluck."

"No more singles uniting?" I asked him, deciding not to be mad at him or correct him over information I told myself was misguided. I think I was just tired of trying to make sense of this whole situation. Phillip grinned with a shake of his head.

"I don't think you're single."

I broke eye contact and looked down at the plastic cup of juice in my hand. "It's one sided."

"Have you told him how you feel?"

When Phillip's question made me realize what I'd said, I backtracked. "Wait it's not one sided. I don't like him like that. We're just friends."

"Too late to retract that right now. Tell him how you feel Valerie--"

"I feel nothing. Thanks but no thanks. I'm good. It was nice meeting you Phillip. You can go talk to that girl you really wanted to talk to. Sorry for keeping you."

I blindingly left the party, not looking back at anyone around me. I had the car keys and since Ella was with Peter I knew she'd be more than happy to go home with him. All I'd have to do is text her that I was going home.

I went to the bathroom for some kind of solace, blinking unstoppably so that I wouldn't start crying. Hell, I didn't know why I felt the urge to cry. I freshened up, reapplying my lipstick and primping my hair. I had to try and make mysel feel at least a bit better about myself.

I stepped out of the bathroom and stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the tall figure standing on the opposite wall. I saw the worn brown boots first, trailed up the dark jeans and the teal shirt, tattooed arms, broad shoulders, and when I got to those green eyes, my heart jumped. I knew I was introuble.

Unthinkingly, I started back to the bathroom but was no match for his agility. Henry closed the distance between us in record speed and his hands grabbed my turning hips, turned them towards him and yanked me to him. I stumbled into his body and felt his lips on mine before I could take any kind of action.

As usual all my thoughts scuttled away the moment his lips settled on me and I was slumping against his hard, protective body. His hands had shifted to my lower back as his tongue pierced my lips and swept through my mouth. Possessively. He groaned as he stroaked my tongue and I moaned into his mouth. My fingers reflexively curled into his shirt and I was kissing him back instead of doing what a wise girl should have done and walked away.

"Woooo!!! You go girl!!!!"

It was that voice piercing into this world Henry and I always fell into that brought me back into reality. I pushed him away as hard as I could and Henry stumbled back, blinking out his daze and eying in me surprise over how roughly I pushed. His shoulders rose and fell as he caught respite, running his hand through his hair. 

I couldn't do this with him. My mind was cluttered and I was confused. Why was he kissing me? He hadn't even been paying me any mind so how did he even know I'd left. Not wanting to make any sense of this right now, I turned from him and started to walk away when he got a hold of my wrist and stopped me.

"Wait--"

"Henry Walker?!" we heard and turned to see two blonds approaching, holding their cameras ready.

"Oh god," I murmured and when I tried to leave, Henry tightened his hold on me.

"Hello," Henry said as he pulled me to his side, his fingers now interlacing with mine. The girls didn't miss this and I looked at them and Henry in dread.

The girls asked for hugs and I knew this would be my clean break, but Henry was two steps ahead of me.

"Im sorry I can't let go of her now. She's pissed and I'm afraid she'll fall if I do."

I shot darts at him with my eyes but said nothing. Huffing defeatedly, I looked the other way. At first I wondered what he meant by pissed and what that had to do with falling, then I recalled he'd used the term once to refer to someone drunk. He knew I wasn't drunk and probably tasted it on my lips. I was so irritated with him.

"Well can we take a picture of you then? We can take it with her in it."

"Sorted," he said satisfactorily and his hold tightened around me when I started to struggle against him.

"No! I'm fine! I'm not pissed!" I tried to exonerate myself but to no avail. I was surprised then by how strong Henry was. I couldn't get away from him for nothing.

"Is it okay?" The girl asked as she bounced her unsure gaze between Henry and I when she saw just how frantic I was about having my picture taken.

"Yes it's fine," he said pleasantly, with all the calm in the world. I nearly scratched him that's how desperate I was to get away.

"Let go, Henry!" I huffed impatiently.

"Say cheese, Peaches," he murmured into my ear and I quickly put my hands over my eyes and rebelliously stuck out my tongue, hoping I fucked the picture up so that the girl would regret ever agreeing to have me in it.

When she looked at the picture, she burst into laughter and her friend hopped to her and mirrored her reaction.

"This is fucking awesome!"

"Let me see it," Henry said from behind me, his muscular arm stretching out for the phone.

I looked down at the bright screen, only for my eyes to widen.

"Hey!" I looked at Henry accusingly as he laughed heartily. In the picture, just as I covered my eyes, my mouth was open probably when I was spewing profanities. Henry's profile was animated  with his mouth wide open as he pretended he was about to take a huge bite of me. It looked like I was closing my eyes and screaming in fear of his attack.

"This is amazing!" One of the girls said.

"Thank you both! Is this your girlfriend?"

"NO!!!" I said immediately. "No i'm not his girlfriend and will never be. We're just friends, I mean, barely.  Friends don't ignore friends. Hell, he's only been to my place once."

Henry said with a cool smile. "And what a tasty visit that was."

"What did ya'll have to eat?" one of them asked conversationally and Henry had the nerve to start talking.

"Well I--"

"DID YOU KNOW THAT PHILOPHOBIA IS THE FEAR OF FALLING IN LOVE?" I ignored the concerned and awkward expressions I was met with but that was the only random fact I could think of that day because I'd just learned about it that day. I gulped hard to try and swallow the embarrassment that was cloaking me, laughing nervously, "That's a general fact. I just learned about it today. I didn't know there was an actual name for it. Not that many people know that."

"You're weird but I like it," One of the girls finally said and I managed a painful smile.

"Okay ladies," Henry took position behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist like it was the most natural thing to do so. "Nice meeting you. Have a good night."

We had to be the ones to walk away because they were just standing there like they wanted to talk to us more. As we exited the building, Henry kept his hold around my midriff and every time I tried to escape his hold he tightened it, all with a huge smile as his popularity forced him to say goodbye to a lot of people as we left.

Once we were out on the busy streets, I pried his hands away from me and spun around, facing him indignantly. 

"If you ever try to pull something like that again I'll kill you before you speak again. Don't come for me…like that..ever…in your life…time..."

My voice began to taper off because I had to start walking backwards as Henry began a slow predatory walk to me, his eyes filled with determination and lust as he took me all in. Like I was the most desirable thing he'd seen on the face of the earth.

This is what I'd wished for earlier right? Be careful what you wish for had never been so appropriate.

Holy shit, did this guy have super powers or what? All he was doing was looking at me...

"You look beautiful," he finally said quietly, his eyes latched onto my exposed legs. I suddenly wished I hadn't worn the skirt because my entire body reacted to that voice, those lips, those eyes, and how fucking good he looked in a teal shirt, I somehow managed to catch myself when he'd gotten too close and turned away from him.

I continued to walk but my mind was so disoriented I wasn't even for sure where I was going.

"Are you upset with me, Valerie?" I finally heard and my suspicions that he was following me were true.

"No. In order for something to upset me I have to care really hard about it." Henry had fallen into step with me and I smiled sweetly at him. "So no you're not upsetting me at all."

He nodded slowly, walking with his hands pushed in his back pockets. "Ah, I see."

I continued to walk and Henry continued to walk with me. He was purposely pestering me. I hastened my steps. I was so over all of this.

"You're in an awful hurry…" Henry finally said from behind me and the laughing tone in his voice was aggravating.

"Yeah."

"How have you been?" he asked.

"Good," I said.

"What about your date?" he asked the question so pleasantly you'd have thought he was the one who hooked Phillip and I up. No hint of jealousy there. That infuriated me.

"He knows I don't want to be here," I said cooly even though it was getting hard keeping my calm.

"So suddenly?" Henry prodded and I tried not to cut my eyes at him.

"Yes. Well, I can walk the rest of the way on my own. Nice seeing you."

"I'll walk you to your car."

He was getting on my last nerves and my patience was thinning. I said with forced calm, "No it's fine."

"I insist."

"Yeah. That wasn't creepy at all."

"We're deep in the city. It's not safe to walk here alone. Especially at this time."

"I've been walking alone before I met you and after so I don't need any help."

"I know you don't. I'm walking you for my own conscience."

I sighed tiredly. "Do whatever you want Henry."

We walked and walked and it got darker and darker. It got to a point where I didn't even know where I was going. I nearly screamed when we came across a man asking money for drugs and luckily Henry was there to protect me. I felt like such a punk. My parents sure didn't do a good job teaching me about being out on my own in the real world. I was very sheltered. Henry walked the streets like he was a part of them and had no worries. The thing about Henry was while he wasn't macho in the stereotypical sense, he did have those protective paternal and even caveman qualities about him. He was very overprotective and maybe he wasn't an alpha male outwardly but he carried with him a quiet strength.

I found that I liked that he didn't have to scream out his masculinity or whatever the world thought that was supposed to be. He moved in silence but with a pleasant smile on his face.

Fuck him for adding another quality about him that I liked, all without even really trying.

"Are you sure you know where you're goi--"

"Yes! Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I don't have any sense of direction!" I snapped, randomly turning a corner. In truth I was lost and had I been alone I'd have been very scared. Ella and I had to park far away from the building because parking in the city and actually finding that parking was just a big fat joy. Because Ella had run away a few times in her teens, she knew the streets more than I did. This whole situation reminding me of my parents aggravated me more, but reminded me that I needed to stop blaming them for everything at 27. I had to take responsibility. I was sheltered and right now, it was my fault.

"Whoa, I said nothing about your gender. I just asked if you knew where you were going."

I ignored him. We came to a deserted basketball field with graffiti on a building close to it. The sun was still setting behind the horizon, so we still had some light, with the help of a few distant street lights nearby.

"Did someone steal your car? Cause if you parked here, I don't see any--"

"You know I called you!" I finally let it out, whipping around with my hands balled to fists at my side.

Henry seemed surprised by my outburst. As the wind made some curls block my view, I noticed Henry pausing momentarily as if suddenly amazed by something. He blinked and shook whatever stole his mind and took a step to me.

"I know."

I took a safe step back until my back was against the fence.

"You know? And you just let it fucking ring?" I sqwuaked.

"Yes." He looked me directly in the eye, placing one hand on the fence with his head looming over me. I felt so small underneath him.

"Okay…"

My breathing was becoming shallow and I stared at his neck. His scent once again was getting to me. I gulped hard because my throat felt tight. I cleared it and tried to speak, my voice sounding heavy. "Why?"

"I didn't really want to talk to anyone really." 

He said this to me in a straight face and I was appalled, hurt even, but I didn't want to show that I cared, so I nodded. 

"Oh. Okay," I said neutrally.

Henry and I stared at each other for a few seconds and I couldn't read what was on his mind. Then his eyes dropped to my lips and turned hungry and he placed his hands on either side of my head on the fence. I shifted as the look in his eyes got me hot and attempted to sidestep him when Henry nuzzled me against my noze. I froze, sucking in my breath. His lips barely touched mine but the impact of his warm breath set me on fire. He gently touched my bottom lip with the tip of his tongue, a miniature movement so erotic I shivered.

He said in a voice that was close to a groan, "Do you know how much I missed these lips?"

"Henry don't…"

"Why, is it because of guy you're with? Your date?" the mocking tone in his voice made me irate.

"And if it is…" I challenged, though weakly.

He wouldn't ask the question because he didn't want to broach the subject and honestly I was okay with that. I didn't want to be needy. I didn't want him to know I liked him so fucking much too fucking fast.

I looked about me hoping the consternation I was feeling didn't show. I'd never been through this in my life. I'd never had someone who had me so open wanting to be so guarded all at the same time.

I trusted him but I didn't. What the fuck had I gotten myself into? I told myself I hadn't gotten myself into anything. After all, there were absolutely no strings attached so I shouldn't have been feeling confused or guarded. Hell, did he even remember my last name? Probably not.

The smart thing to do would have been to walk away. I convinced myself that after a long time of no contact or no seeing him I was forgetting about him.

Yeah fucking right. I made the mistake of looking up to meet his green gaze and my cheeks became warm. I dropped my eyes away only to visually collide with his lips and I bit my lip to keep me from whimpering at what those lips had done to me three weeks ago.

There is no way that I would ever forget the guy who'd told me I was beautiful so poetically in addition to giving me physical pleasures I'd never known. Why couldn't he have just given me one or the other like other sane people do?

All these rioting thoughts that were about to give me a headache were overpowered by the butterflies only Henry could create when he leaned in and tried to kiss me. I'd missed him so much I nearly took the kiss, but thank god I had some willpower that made me turn away.

"No…" I murmured in a small voice with my face averted from his.

Henry paused and I saw his arm muscles straining as he inhaled, but he finally just pulled back and said, "Okay."

I shifted, getting turned on for some reason and it dawned on me it's because even in these dire situations where our body heat was nearly burning off our clothes he still managed to be respectful. I mean I would have still found it hot if he grabbed me and kissed me anyway but I found that I liked him like this better and got a little bit vexed that even when he was pissing me off I liked him and wanted him.

My nipples were aching and I was already wet for him. Fuck.

Without allowing myself to think any longer I grabbed his face and kissed the lips that I'd been missing for only four very long weeks. When Henry sighed my name as I devoured his lips I leaned onto the fence, making it rattle. I'd missed the way he said my name too.

I was frustrated with him and I was frustrated with myself, but I infused it all in the kiss for lack of any other way to express it. We both weren't going to say what we felt so we might as well find a way to release all the pent up frustrations.

I knew I wasn't alone with how Henry made the fence rattle more when he pressed his hard body against mine, pressing me into the fence, trying to get as close to me as possible as he returned my kiss.

Helplessly, I moaned, allowing his tongue more access into my mouth. I sighed when I felt his warm, hard chest pressing against my already aching nipples. My squirming body only made the sensation of him hardness against my sensitive nipples stronger. I gasped and Henry groaned as he let go of the fence and held my waist, squeezing as if wanting to reaffirm to himself that I was real.

It astounded me how my sanity went haywire whenever we touched one another. I thought these things were just folktales and maybe even hype but now as I desperately ran my hands all over his chest, shoulders, neck, hair, and arms, I knew the madness of sexual frustration to be true.

Something deep down told me it wasn't just a physical thing but I ignored it. I didn't have much time to ponder anyway because Henry pulled back briefly and when I impatiently reached for him he pulled back again.

"What?" I all but ground out, subsequently embarrassed by how vexed I could be just from him stopping a kiss.

"What about your date?" he asked, and then began to put more distance between us as his jealous features became gloomy with guilt. "I don't wanna break another--"

"What date?" I asked impatiently wondering why the hell he was wasting time.

He stared at me as a slow, knowing smirk lifted his lips.

"I thought you were on a date. You lied." His smirk faded as he added. "I don't like liars, Valerie."

I stubbornly shut him up, claiming his lips once again and to my fortune he fell right into the kiss. 

"I can't stop--" I'd never been so thankful for the man upstairs than in that moment. If I'd finished telling him that I couldn't stop thinking about him, how fucking catastrophic would that have been? It would have meant he mattered and I was still training myself to believe that it was only his tongue and mouth that mattered right now. And maybe his hands. And the arms that I was feeling right now. I was screwed.

"You can't stop what," Henry rasped as he nibbled my neck like he hadn't eaten all day. I moaned, trying to wiggle away when he started sucking on the spot he'd left a hickey on last time, afraid the act alone would be enough to make me come.

"N-N-No…thing…." I miraculously got out and winced when Henry pulled his lips hard enough from me to make me sting.

My chest lifted and fell as I breathed hard and I bit my bottom lip when I spotted the wicked glint in his eyes.

"Lying again, are we?"

Even though I opened my mouth I had no ready response and Henry suddenly clasped my hips tight in his hands and lifted me up against the fence.

"I told you, no lies allowed."

I gasped at the pleasurable pain from his teeth as his tongue shot out and soothed the pain, making me moan and close my legs tighter over his waist. Somehow my mind was still morally intact and I tried to stop him, grabbing at the soft material of his shirt at his shoulders.

"N-No Henry. Someone might…someone…ah…" My cautious warning came to a halt, turning into a surprised gasp when I felt him, big and hard against my throbbing womanhood through the threadbare material of my panties.

Henry groaned deep as he bit right under my jaw trying to contain himself, his fingers pressing hard into the skin of my waist.

"What were you saying love, you can't what?" Henry asked huskily, playing the unfair game of kissing his way over to the other end of my jaw, my head rotating on its own to give him more access. He seemed to know how  to make my body do things at his whims. I had no control when he touched me. 

"No…." I moaned helplessly, biting my lip a bit too hard in regret because of how obviously I wanted him.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, his hot breath rushing against me as his tongue danced along my skin. The delicious ache between my thighs made it so hard for me to speak.

"N-No…Please…don't...stop…" I begged feebly, the sound of his voice making me high. My fingers dug hard into his shoulders not only with pressing need but also retaliation, but it turned back into need and want.

Henry hissed at the sharp impact of my nails and retaliated with a bite of my neck, making me moan and shift restlessly up and down against the fence. The action made me brush against his sizable hardness, making both of us moan.

"You can't stop what, Valerie…" he grated as he ground in a painfully slow, upward motion into me as if that was his payback for my mistake of brushing against him. My reaction was electric, making me arch into him and grab, probably living four marks from his shoulder places up to his shoulder.

"Yesss…" Henry hissed and I imagined it was him welcoming the pain of the skin I'm sure my newly manicured nails were leaving. His reaction made me moan and I clutched my eyes tight, sure that I would come just from his sounds alone.

Oh god this man. What was it about this man's every move.

The fence rattled when Henry thrust his bulge into my soft mound again. Somehow I found the mind to let go of his shoulders before I did more damage and reached for the fence. My fingers slipped through the wire and curled inward, holding on for dear life.

"Are you lying to me?" He asked as he gently set me on my feet and started bunching up my skirt, his insatiable eyes latched onto my lips.

I couldn't respond. I was stuck between feeling all the pleasure he was giving me and trying not to feel it. Henry picked up on my apprehensiveness and added with a reassuring kiss. 

"It will be fine. No one can see us cause of that building." Slipping his fingers through the band of my panties, he looked me directly in the eye as he pulled them down in a painfully slow motion. As I felt the wet trail my panties left on my inner thighs, I blushed and closed my eyes. I felt his gaze leaving my face and looked down to find him kneeling before me as he brought the panties down, watching every movement unapologetically. I blushed again when they were around my ankles and Henry looked up expectantly. After gnawing my lip for what seemed like an eternity, I finally climbed out of them and watched in trepidation as he smirked while stashing them in his front pocket.

"But if they do, we could always give them the best show ever, right?"

There was no room for answering as it appeared Henry's patience wore thin fast like fire on newspaper and I was immediately his. He'd buried his face between my legs and his mouth was on me without missing another beat. I was sold. My entire body was shaking as all my nerves whirred to life. Henry moaned into me as he ran his tongue over my wet folds and I bit another scream from flying out at me.

"Henry…" I breathed in confusion and a bit of ambivalence when he started lifting my leg. I ended up arching off of the fence, my fingers curling around the mesh as my lifted leg gave him more access to me and he pushed his tongue in. The fence rattled when my head met with it as I arched my neck, my fingers clamping onto his hair as he moved his explorative tongue in me while groaning.

"Henry please…"

Only god knew what I was begging for.

Henry groaned as he suddenly put my leg over his shoulder, much to my bemusement. I opened my mouth to protest because, well, I'd never done anything like this no matter how hot it was, and the very provocative move made me think of the fact that we were outside all of a sudden.

He must have known my protests were soon to follow because he was on me yet again, silencing those very protests and making the fence jangle from the impact of the back of my head slamming into it. He then just held my leg up and gave me small kisses and that's when the tears of pleasure squeezed from my clutched eyes and slid down my cheeks.

"Henry!"

He grabbed my other leg, throwing it over his other shoulder. This forced my other hand back to loop through the wire, my only way of holding me steady without falling over. As he knelt in between my legs and hefted my thighs over his shoulders, I was lifted a bit higher. His hands gripped my hips to keep me steady. Henry commenced to feast on me like I was his last morsel, lashing his tongue at my soaking lips, thrusting energetically into me and swirling hungrily inside me, then he'd occasionally suck on my clit restlessly.

My eyes were clenched tightly shut, tears streaming down from pleasure. I was a heavy breathing mess. The last time I'd heard a fence rattle this much was at some protest that happened outside my school.

And dare I say I was also turned on by the unorthodox position. I mean these were the kind of things a woman could only dream about.

When Henry's hand fished under my shirt and smoothed up my back. Who knew such a touch could arouse me further, even with his mouth already on me. Henry's other hand was clamped hard over my ass to keep me in place, while his other hand rose to fiddle with my bra strap.

His hand slid back down to the base of my back and he began to rub, surprising me by finding yet another sensuous zone.

He did this while flicking his tongue over my clit, making that familiar buzz seep into me. I began to shake all over and my thighs began to tighten around his face and neck. Then out of nowhere, just as I was getting there, Henry suddenly pulled away from me and my eyes flew open in fury.

"Henry?!?!" I damn near shrieked. The only time I got this aggravated was when a program I was working on didn't work out.

"You can't stop what?" he demanded and I didn't know what the hell he was talking about.

"I can't stop what, what?!?"

"You were saying earlier how you can't stop what?"

I was sure my eyes were wild with madness. "Oh my god Henry just get on with it."

"Not until you tell me what you were going to say--"

"I can't stop thinking about you alright?!?!?" I damn near bellowed.

Henry paused in surprise, then a slow, devilishly pleased smirk quirked his lips. Irritation filled me for he had won this battle and got me to vulnerably say something that no longer kept me a safe distance away from him. But before I could loathe over that, he'd realigned his lips with my throbbing wetness and I could no longer focus.
 
I'd given him the power of knowing how I'd truly felt but I was so selfish for the pleasure of his mouth that in that moment I didn't care about the consequences. Very stupid of me.

He gave me what I wanted in a matter of a minute and I was shaking as the orgasm shook through me. I knew then part of my frustration with his absence was I'd been craving this feeling again that only he seemed to know how to give me. My fingers furled painfully around the warm metal and my back arched off of it as my body wound tight.

When it was finally all over and Henry came up for air, he let my legs down. I overestimated myself because I stumbled once he let go of me and he quickly held my hips, laughing throatily at how weak he got me.

"Shut up," I murmured before being shut up myself by Henry's lips. His tongue lingered against mine and we separated soundly. Now that the chaos was over and I was more aware of what was around me, I felt uneasy and for the first time, I didn't feel so safe around Henry.

"You couldn't stop thinking about me," he said with a smug smirk down at me as he held my hips. Now that I'd come down to planet earth, I pushed him off a bit too roughly.

"Whatever." My cheeks burned as I tried to straighten my skirt in the 'after the fact' moment of shame. I worrisomely darted my eyes around us wondering if anyone had seen.

"Oh god, this was so stupid! What if someone saw this?!" A foreboding feeling overcame me and suddenly all the fun and games were no longer there. What a great front page news this would make. The famous Mr. Jones' daughter had public sex on a fence with a guy who ignored whenever she'd call. How flipping great.

"Then we just gave them the best show ever, like I'd said," Henry joked but I found nothing amusing about what he was saying. I didn't respond to him. I had nothing to say to him. When I didn't, Henry's playful smirk drifted away and a worrying frown began to show on his face.

"Are you okay? I'm sure we're fine. This is a pretty deserted place…"

I remained mute. With my arms folded, I just stared ahead of me at his chest.

"Valerie," Henry called out to me, his voice laced with concern but I didn't budge.

"What's wrong?" Henry pressed but I was inconsolable.

"Did I upset you?" he prodded.

The blazing setting sun highlighted his eyes than with the wind blowing some curls over his forehead as he looked down at me. I didn't give a fuck how etheral or good he looked. It was guys like him that were the worst just like I'd expected. I was going to take responsibility for my own carelessness and vanity wanting to feel pleasure but that didn't mean Henry was innocent in this. Technically, he wasn't wrong, I had to keep reminding myself so that I wouldn't get hurt. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt...

"Come on love, talk to me. Please."

I said nothing. My heart felt like it was made of steel and I was regretting how stupidly I'd let him pleasure me sexually again after not even receiving an explanation. I was even more frustrated with myself because I didn't know whether I deserved an explanation.

I stopped responding because I didn't know how to react. If I got angry I'd feel crazy because we just met yet if I didn't get angry I felt like I'd be fake. I'd just gone from wanting to be near him to hoping he'd turn around and walk away.

Sighing heavily, Henry placed both hands right above my head on the fence. His eyes fell on me while I kept my eyes on his chest.

"I want you to trust me enough to tell me anything, anything you're feeling. I don't want you to hold anything back from me," he surprised me by saying that and I lifted my gaze up to him. An amazing feeling swept through me when I saw how serious he was, so much that my eyes flittered away. My fingers nervously fiddled with the wire of the fence behind me and I began to chew on my bottom lip.

I can't believe he had the audacity to ask me to trust him after he'd blatantly ignored me. Not only that, the last time someone asked me to trust them...

"Look at me," he pleaded gently, his head lowered as he searched my face, attempting to kiss me again but I looked the other way just as a surprising tear fell from my eye. Before I closed my eyes to wipe them I caught Henry's alerted expression over my tears and I felt even more of a freak for crying. Damn it. I bet I looked like the biggest punk in the universe. I waited for him to stand there and awkwardly apologize for me thinking that this 'thing' we had going on was anything. Even if in reality I knew it wasn't that didn't stop my feelings from feeling like they'd been jerked back and forth and lashed and petted then tossed away all at once.

I think another reason I was reacting very badly to all of this was because I'd been through things like this with George and it was making me very uncomfortable. My young mind thought this was what relationships were meant to be when I was with George. I thought they were meant to be imperfect and people were meant to fight just so the kissing and making up could be epic but I had grown and knew now that those self-destructive kind of relationships weren't all that great to begin with. The thoughts of George making me cry then apologizing all flashed through my mind and it made the silent tears fall even more as I grimaced at all of it. I couldn't control the tears now and I didn't feel like explaining it all to Henry because it was too much to tell even though admittedly part of my crying was his fault.

I never wanted to speak about my relationship with George to anyone, much less a guy who would ignore me after we spent the most amazing days together.

The dam had broken and the tears were endless. At least I wasn't sobbiing but occassionally I let out wheezing breaths as I tried to control my tears, pitiably wiping at my eyes with my head bowed in front of him.

"Fuck, Val…don't…please..." Henry's voice surprised me by how pained it was.

When he tried to reach out and wipe my tears I flinched and pressed my back further into the fence, wanting as much distance from us as possible. Henry sighed heavily and lowered his head low between his shoulders. His hands were back on either side of my head on the fence and I briefly saw his arm muscles flexing, the veins pronounced as I assumed he curled his fingers into the fence as though guilt was swimming through him. I could feel it from his body language but I no loner cared.

I was mentally and emotionally exhausted from this game he was playing with me. Yes. It was a game. The nice guy charmer was playing with my emotions and there was no other way of going about it. This is a reality I'd been trying to avoid all night but I couldn't now.

Don't tell me you're happy when I'm on the phone with you then not contact me or answer my calls for an entire month. Don't smile at me like we're long lost friends and tell me I look cute with the guy I'm dating then grab me and kiss me when we're alone. Don't act like I'm not in the room and party it up with some barely clothed women and follow me out of the same party claiming you wanted to make sure I made it safely into my car. Don't tell me you didn't answer my calls because you didn't want to talk to me and then go down on me, only to torture me because you know you're so good. Torturing me ino wearing my fucking heart on my sleeve again and telling you that I couldn't stop thinking about you when clearly I hadn't even crossed your mind.

I wanted to tell Henry all this, but I was officially on lock down. I was on guard and had to protect whatever was left of myself. What was the point of saying anything now? I was afraid of being the one who eventually stopped treading lightly in this little dance on thin ice we were doing, and now I'd let him know that I'd wanted to know him more than he did me. It shouldn't have hurt but him saying he didn't want to talk to me hurt a lot because I enjoyed that in conjunction with the physical pleasure. He'd probably tagged along with the conversation just so that he could get to make me orgasm, a stroking of his ego that would add me as another one of many to his list that he'd managed to break down sexually when no one else could.

I felt cheap and it was my fault for allowing myself to be cheapened.

I always thought women who put up with these situations were stupid, and they were, but that didn't stop nature from taking its course and it happening to some of the smartest most well respected and strongest women. Why did we put up with these games? Did we like to be yoyo'd around? Or were we just all confused. Was it cause we all just wanted to be desired sometimes, especially those of us who didn't usually experience this from the kinds of guys we wanted this from? Maybe this was our karma for going for being shallow and going for the guy who looked good and felt good verses the guy who just did good in silence. It wasn't always our fault we got hurt, but sometimes it was because we just wanted to feel wanted at the expense of common sense and smart choices.

"Please move. I want to go," I said as I wiped my face and tried to sidestep him under his arm. I was too disgusted by my wanton behavior, shamelessly trading any pride and dignity just so I could get some physical release. I was also angry that after guarding the vault of my emotion expertly since George, I'd let my guard down and let another human know that I valued them emotionally, and I was even more frustrated because it's not like I knew Henry that much.

I guess I was getting to know him. But one of my assumptions about him had been true: Nice guys really weren't shit underneath it all.

Henry put his hands on my waist to stop me. "Wait."

I quickly pushed his hand away from me and Henry bit his bottom lip, visibly insulted by my caustic reaction but that's what he got. I was reacting like a wounded animal. I was tired. When I tried to leave again, he held my wrist.

"Please, Valerie, just hear me out."

I was going to hear him out but I was already officially done with him. He could say whatever he wanted to say but I was done. The last time I allowed myself to be uninhibited I played a very high price.

I wrung my wrist from his hold and refolded may arms as I stayed by the fence.

He cupped my face and his attempts to thumb my tears away were futile because the tears continued to silently roll and I was also trying to avert my face from him.

"Please stop crying," he beseeched, his lips rubbing against my cheek when I'd turned my head. I winced at how good his lips felt against me, how reassuring and soothing his voice was. Henry tilted his head further till his lips were on mine. I gave up fighting him now as he gently turned my head up to his, all the while dropping small kisses on my lips, each kiss making me weaker. My hands were now behind me on the fence, clinging, trying to hold on.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise," he said next and my entire body tensed while I sucked in a breath with my eyes closed. Vast memories flashed through my mind.  These were the words George used on that fateful night that changed me. Henry paused and lifted his and I felt his eyes on me, probably wondering why my reaction was different than most women who I'm sure loved to hear those words. Once upon a time, I liked to hear them too until the after math. As I finally expelled my breath slowly, I breathed deeply and slowly opened my eyes onto to be met with his neck.

I lifted my eyes only to his lips which he was biting the corner of pensively. How was I supposed to explain everything to him and why I was feeling this way. There were just so many things going on at once.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you. I was confused," he finally explained and I was a bit surprised. I now looked him in the eye through my wet, clamped lashes. His eyes were focused on his hand as he tinkered with the fence behind me.

"It was all happening too fast Valerie, too fast for me to comprehend. You were meaning a whole lot to me too soon and I wasn't ready to get close to anyone because of this very reason; the fact that I can be a jackass because of what happened in the past."

I peered at him inquiringly and wiped the remainder of my tears. We stood quietly for a moment before curiousity killed the cat and I asked, "What happened?" 

Thankfully by then the tears had stopped rolling unchecked. The fact that he was willing to open up to me made me a bit receptive to him and not as cold. I fiddled with the hem of his shirt as I spoke shyly.

"I want you to learn to trust me too," I finally said, looking him directly in the eye. "Maybe I can understand what's going on better."

I could feel him closing up and added haltingly. "You don't have to tell me if you don't feel comfortable talking about it."

Henry stalled for a while as he continued to eye his hand fiddling with the fence.

"She cheated on me with my best friend at the time," he finally said with no emotion behind his tone and I frowned.

"That stupid bitch."

A small smile flickered on his lips and his eyes warmed just a little. Even despite how dejected he'd made me feel earlier, it still made me all fuzzy and warm inside to see him at least a little bit happy.

"I wasn't giving her the attention she needed. I get that way when I dive into work," he said seriously and a part of me felt it was some kind of warning. I lowered my gaze to where I was touching his shirt.

"I'm the same way, but that gave her no right to hurt you like that."

"Yeah, well," he shrugged. "I'm over it."

"Mhmm," I rolled my eyes and found that he was smirking at me knowingly.

"I had no right to mess with you like that and I'm sorry." He kissed me lightly."Forgive me?"

The sound I made was unintelligible as he played with my lips a little.

Henry suddenly stopped and muttered a curse under his breath. "Sorry. I can't keep my hands off of you."
I blushed and tried so hard not to squeal. Wow, I had it so bad.

"It's okay," I said, wishing he'd never stopped kissing me and Henry looked at me like I was crazy, then shook his head.

"No. It's not okay. We can start over and do this the right way, the slow way. As friends. And with that, I'd like to break the ice with a little game."

I couldn't help the big smile that stretched my lips as I recalled it was these games that helped us get to know each other in the beginning when we were at Seaburger and on the beach.

"What game would you like to play Henry Walker?" I asked.

"Two lies and a truth."

"Two lies and a truth?"

"I'm going to make three statements. You're going to tell me which one is the truth."

"Okay."

"I've seen a tortoise fly. Rihanna is my god. And I really, really, really like a lady called Valerie Jones."

I smiled at the last statement so hard I had to lower my face so he wouldn't see just how excited his words made me. I finally responded to him. "That one's easy! Rihanna is your god."

"Wrong." He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I shyly held onto the fence, laughing as I tried to get away from him nuzzling me. "I've seen a tortoise fly."

"Oh really," I said with a laugh, knowing he was being deliberately stubborn.

"Yep. Super Mario. Stage one. Those red tortoises with wings--what?!?!"

I was laughing halfway through what he said.

"You are so wrong! What do you know about Super Mario anyway?"

"I bought the game while I was away."

I shifted my weight from one foot to the other as my knees buckled. "Why?"

"Because I really, really, really, really like a lady called Valerie Jones."

I guess that was his way of saying he thought about me too when we were away.

"Is that the truth?" I was referring to the Two Lies and a Truth game, but also just in general.

"That's the only truth," he told me somberly.

I blushed heavily and nearly turned into the fence. I couldn't believe how I allowed him to make me behave sometimes.

"I really, really, really like Henry Walker too…" I finally admitted.

"But we're going to be friends first, right?" he asked, then bit his lip as he eyed my lips, sparking a fire in me. I could only give a jerky nod as I tried to stand up right. I shouldn't have looked at his lips either. I shook away all the lewd thoughts clouding my mind.

"Well, I'm sorry for keeping you. You can go back to your party," I told him.

"No way I'm leaving you after I just got on your good side. What do you say we just get out of here?"

I was a bit apprehensive but I smiled at him and nodded and put my hand in his.

He enveloped it and squeezed. With eyes blazing invitingly, he tugged me off of the fence to follow him wherever he'd take me.

While we had taken a step forward, we were still moving through murky waters.

We were still playing a dangerous game because both our hearts weren't ready.

But our minds and bodies were fighting to have all the control.

At least that's what I thought.

Chapter 14

"Where are we going?" I asked as we drove further and further away from the city. We'd walked back to the party so that I could hand Ella her keys. She was a bit miffed because she'd wanted to ride with Peter, but when I told her I was leaving with Henry, she was all smiles. I also noticed that she wasn't harping on me as usual. She didn't ask me too many questions about Phillip and didn't ask me about leaving with Henry.

I think she truly did want me to figure this out for myself and in a way I appreciated that. Though I was really confused. How could I seek her advice when she'd warned me that I may have not been capable of having friends with benefits?

Well, the benefits factor was out the window now. He did say he wanted us to do the right thing. As friends.

"A ghost town," Henry answered and I don’t think he was joking. From the comfort of his Audi R8, I looked out the rolled down window. There were no more city lights, and the mansions we passed were far apart, until we came to a gated community. Henry pushed a button on his key and soon we drove through an extravagantly designed neighbored, so beautiful it was almost eerie.

After going up a long hill, we came to another house, secured by a black iron gate and drove up to a beautifully, lighted modern home. I peeked at Henry who was casually parking the car, not making a show of having a breathtaking home.

"Wow," I said. "This yours?"

Henry eyed me like I really dared to ask something so insipid and just to tease me said, "No." He then exited the car and jogged to my side to open the passenger's side.

"It is yours!" I grinned a sweet grin that made him roll his eyes and murmur under his breath. Color was rising to his cheeks and I laughed as he got embarrassed, avoiding eye contact and looking at his foot as he tapped the toes on the tarmac.

"Why are you so nervous?" I asked, enjoying his shyness a bit too much. Now it was his turn to wilt under my gaze.

"Are you coming, or…"

I laughed as I stood up with my purse in hand. I followed him up the walkway, admiring the reflecting ponds we saw, all  with small fountains.

The architecture of the house itself was something definitely from Architectural Digest. It was boxy and paneled heavily with wide windows. The walls were very clean colored, with varying shades of grey, often highlighted by hidden small lights of blue. The second level of the house was paneled in what looked to be mahogany. The inside of the house was lit in yellow soft lights, showcased by huge windows that made me wonder how the hell someone could have privacy. When I curiously looked over my shoulder, I saw that from this vantage of the hill, in addition to the high, lush fence, the house was pretty much secluded.

Henry stepped aside, having opened the wooden door and let me in to be awestruck even more. The geometric and heavy glass theme continued within the home. The living room designed with earthy tones, particularly the punctuation sod bright orange, that surprisingly meshed well with the somewhat clinical schema of the house.

It was a pad designed for a successful bachelor, but to me it didn't really seem too much like Henry, who seemed more the artsy type that preferred an easy flow. I'd always imagined his house would have a wall filled with graffiti or his favorite artists, with just a little bit of chaos.

This house was so untouched.

"This is nice Henry," I finally aid and when I turned to face him, I was surprised to find that he'd been watching me. He was a bit startled to have been caught, and shifted his weight from one leg to the other. I noticed then as I looked at him that maybe he did fit the design of this house.

Henry was the kind who'd make you think you had him all figured out. Then he'd surprise you. The house was beautiful to the eye, very inviting, but only at arms length. There was still lots of mystery, with the small bursts of orange occasionally bursting in the house a small hint, a teaser even, to what else was in store.

That was very much Henry. I saw that burst in his eyes and sometimes in his smile.

"Didn't have much to do with it. I hired a designer who helped." He finally moved more into the home and tossed his keys on the glass table.

"Your self- effacing attitude is a bit too much don't you think?" I followed him to the sleek bar surrounding the kitchen.

"Would you like something to drink?" He'd asked as he opened the grey fridge.

"Water."

"Water? Surprised." He handed me one anyway and got one for himself. "Are you hungry?"

"A little bit," I admitted.

"I'll make us a quick salad."

And I watched it all in glee. Henry belonged in the kitchen. It just seemed that way. He was very comfortable in it and put in that signature focused look of his that always managed to make me weak.

He served me a chicken salad and sat himself across of me to eat his own.

I had been so enraptured by watching him make a damn salad I'd forgotten about the beautiful house. I was looking around the house some more as I twisted my bottled water open when I gasped at the oceanic view beside the living room. There was a patio, then a pool, both overlooking the vast ocean.

"This is so pretty," I murmured.

"Have you never seen the ocean before?"

I turned to the sound of Henry's voice and found him smirking at me as he took a seat while going through his phone. The smirk made my clit jump  and I narrowed my eyes at him. Then I watched him for a few moments as his expression turned serious while he looked through his phone. I wondered if he was reading texts from some of his other female 'friends', or if there were business deals tucked in that phone. There was still so much about Henry I didn't know. Like how he operated. What made him tick. What did he normally like for breakfast? Why the hell was I concerned with what he liked for breakfast? And why would I ask myself such an obvious question.

"You know, you're mysterious at times," I finally said and Henry only lifted a brow, a small amused smile tugging one corner of his lips.

"Really."

"I thought I had you figured out but nope."

Henry simply smiled with ease and continued to focus on his phone. He looked so sexy hunched to the side his elbow rested on his knee of the hand holding his phone. His other hand rested on his other lap, a place I longed to sit on again like I did on Peter's patio.

How many women had gotten to sit on his lap? How many women got to link their hands with his? Henry was generous, there was no doubting that. He spread his gravy around not only cause he could but seemingly loved to. An irrational burst of jealousy tore through me as I thought of all the women that had had access to this special specimen.

"You're not the jealous type, are you?" I suddenly asked, recalling how at ease he was when Phillip and I were together.

Henry made an odd face as a lopsided smile marred the firm line his lips had set.

"What?"

This finally brought his gaze up to me. I flourished from head to toe now that I had his full attention.

"You don't get jealous."

He was smirking now. Damn the smirk. My toes curled as he set the phone on the pristine counter and folded his arms.

"Why do you say that?"

He knew why. I might as well just spell it out.

"You weren't bothered one bit by me being with Phillip."

Henry grinned. "I don't typically get too jealous, that's true."

I felt very petty for being let down.

"But I'm a human being. There are certain things that make me really jealous." He sat forward with his elbows on the counter, his presence suddenly very intimidating and pervasive.

I gulped hard at the sudden fire that lit his eyes.

"Like what things?" I finally asked.

"I am very giving, but when something is very rare, and very hard to deconstruct, I want to be the first one to do it. I want it to be mine. All mine. As you recall, I did say that I am an all or nothing kind of guy." He sat up and got off the stool. "You'll learn soon enough. Want me to show you around?"

Oh great. Go on and steal my breath and then casually ask me if I want to walk around when my knees are weak and all the butterflies in my gut are flapping overtime.

Wordlessly, I slipped off the stool and followed him. The rest of the house was harmonious to the designs I saw when I first walked in. I got used to the clinical aspects of it because of the bursts of warmth, although it still felt cold. A bit lonely, I don't know. It didn't feel humanized to me. It's like no one really lived there. But while all the huge windows made me uncomfortable at first, I took a great liking to them. Even the railing of the stairs were just glass pains that lined the steps.

I noticed that we didn't go into one particular room on the bottom floor.

"What's that door?" I asked curiously. 

"Nothing exciting," Henry said dismissively as he finished his water bottle.

"Now I want to see even more."

Henry looked at me, almost exasperatedly, but also thoughtfully.

"And hey, you know what I just realized?" I asked abruptly.

"What?"

"I've shown you my toys. My entire list of video games. All my history. When am I going to see your toys? Aren't friends supposed to share?"

He continued to stare at me pensively, as though waging an inner war, then he shook his head with a small smile. "You are good, Valerie."

"What?" I asked innocuously.

Not saying a word, Henry took my hand and led me to the door. When he opened it, my eyes widened. It was a home studio, a complete alternate universe to the pale, bright colors of the rest of the house.

It was cloaked in dark colors. Mainly black, and small highlights of beige. The couches were leather, and the walls were padded. I didn't know much about music technology, but it was all throughout the rom.

"Are you fuckin kidding me? This is out of this word!" I gushed as I stared at the glass room that housed a microphone. There was something so epic about this room. It didn't feel like real life. I knew I had my father's penchant for obsessing over different kinds of technology. Even though Dad didn't know much about music I knew he'd be impressed by everything in the room. Everything looked so high-end and sleek and somewhat untouchable. It was intimidating to an extent.

"You like it?" Henry pierced through my brain.

There was an expectance and hope in his voice. I turned to him. He almost looked like a kid wanting their parents' approval. He looked just a bit vulnerable. So boyish and young and the excitement in his eyes, in his every limb was brimming over.

"That's your 'I'm offended you even asked look'," he observed, lowering his chin.

"You're getting to know me well, my friend." I slowly turned back around and advanced further in the room as I admired it all. "This is amazing," I barely whispered.
"Thank you."

"No Henry, I'm serious," I told him somberly. He'd come to stand next to me.

"You kind of look like you want to hit me."

"That's how serious I am. I'm so serious I'm angry." I playfully and dramatically grabbed onto his shirtfront. "This is fucking awesome, okay?!"

Henry laughed and backed up, his hands over my wrists. "Okay! Okay!"

"Who helped you do this?" I asked in wonder, looking up to the high ceiling.

"Well my mentor has always been my high school choir teacher, but I pretty much had to figure out a lot of it on my own."

"Really?"

"My mom was supportive but she could only do so much. Come on, let's go back out there."

I didn't want to leave, but clearly he felt some kind of way for someone to be in there with him. I didn't want the subject to close. I'd just found this hidden box with him and managed to open it. I wanted to know what else was in that box.

"Care for some pool?" he asked when we were in the location next to the living room where a pool table stood with glass legs where some of the colorful billiard balls had fallen into.

"Sure," I acquiesced and he handed me my cue stick. We tried to play for a while but both realized we sucked at it and were now playing for fun.

My mind was still on our last conversation.

"Dad?" I blurted randomly.

"Huh?" Henry looked at me strangely. "I don't think you're my daughter Valerie. Have you lost your mind…"

I laughed at how unsure he looked. "No I meant your dad. Was he supportive? I notice you mostly only ever speak about your mother."

Henry seemed surprised by my pointed question and I hoped I hadn't been inappropriate. He almost became closed off, but seemed to fight through some restrains and finally spoke.

"Not really. My dad wanted me to do something practical. I don't blame him. I get my love of music from him. He tried to break into the industry and it didn't work and it was rough for him to go back to school and make something of himself." I noticed how closed off Henry's voice was when he talked about his father as opposed to the openness and devotion one could hear when he spoke highly of his mother.

"But I will say, he made me ambitious. Him leaving gave me no choice but to succeed."

I stared at him in silent amazement. When I didn't speak, he looked up from eying the table as he rounded it, and a hint of insecurity hit him. He didn't seem to comfortable when it came to his father and that was evident when regret began to claim his features, as though he rued ever bringing him up.

"What?" he asked and I frowned at the discomfort he obviously had with his father. It didn't make me think less of him, it made me think more. It added to his character, all these things that made him up.

"How am I not supposed to want everything from you when you tell me these things, Henry?"

Oh shit. What had I just said? I was about to try and detour the conversation when Henry, after blinking stunned for a while, spoke.

"And how am I not supposed to give you everything when you look at me like that."

What the hell were we saying right now. It's like our hearts had leaped out to center stage and spoken for those few moments. I know that sounds really lame and eye-roll worthy but it's truly how it felt. I felt too much pressure, it was getting so heavy we both ended up looking away at the same time, but I caught the look of regret on Henry's face which I'm sure mirrored my own before we both averted out faces.

"I admire you. I envy you," I finally told him as I lightly hit the billiard balls, sending them rolling around the green table.

"They're just things."

"That represent your hard work," I explained as I moved to a different spot to hit the balls. "The fact that you never let anyone tell you no. the fact that you never gave in. most people don’t' just do what they want to do. They play it safe. You didn't play it safe. I admire that."

"It's not too late, Valerie. You're only twenty-seven. Not seventy-seven."

"This isn't about me," I told him. "This is about you being admired. Don't make it about me. I'm just saying from my stand point and what I've seen, I respect risk takers like you a lot. You honor your craft and never abandon it."

He was blushing and rubbing his nape and it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

"Thank you. It means a lot. Never thought I'd have a software developer's respect," he said with a grin.

"So are you self taught?" I wanted to know more about that side of him that he seemed to hide so much and I still wasn't sure why.

"Well I had piano lessons as a child," Henry explained. He bent to take his shot. "My mom kept me in them because she knew how much I enjoyed it. And my choir teacher taught me how to sing, but as far as learning how to write songs and produce, I'd say I'm a bit of both, self taught and taught. I don’t think anyone who is taught isn't self-taught. Even when learning from someone else, you learn a lot of things about yourself and you learn what works for you and what doesn't."

"How did you juggle having so much fun and working towards this?" I asked curiously. I'd never been one to juggle work and fun too well. The fun I had was always few and far between. This year was sort of the first time I really tried to do more besides work, but that was to relieve some of the pressure I felt from work.

"I'd have fun to let off steam but music, music was just the only way I could survive. And I wanted it so bad. I was in a small time band both here and in London. I just always felt I had to be successful for my mother. She really struggled when my father left, and I tried to like other things. I tried to like math I tried to love science but I always found myself going back to music. Music was the only thing that made sense to me. So I made the decision earlier on that if I was going to succeed in anything, it had to be music. And because I chose music, I decided I had to go 1000% because I knew it wasn't an easy field to break into. Only about 2% of people who get into music really make it.

"And that is true because I didn't make it the way I wanted to." He was so engrossed that he was sitting on the edge of the table holding the cue stick between his parted legs. I'd briefly stopped playing to look at him as he spoke. "I always wanted to be in the front. I always wanted to be on the stage but record labels didn't think I had what it took. But I saw a window of opportunity when one of the A&R's, god bless him, saw something in me I hadn't--songwriting. He was intrigued by one of the two songs I sang at the audition and was impressed when I told him I wrote it. Next thing I know I was signing up with the publishing, songwriting team of the label and trained with them for years. It was daunting because I was so young and a lot of the old heads didn’t take me seriously.

"Some didn't think I deserved to be there. There were some who were supportive, but it's always easier to believe the negative. I nearly gave up but Nathan shook me into reality and reminded me that since I hadn't focused on anything else really all my life, music was kind of my only option at that point. It was all or nothing and I had to give my all, so I worked harder than anyone I knew. It's so crazy to me though because it all happened so fast. It was so hard at some point my mother was worried cause I was paying more attention to song writing than I was at school. But thankfully I graduated, moved to the U.S. with the U.S. branch of the label I was signed to, and it was around that time that I wrote my first successful song. I'm humbled and lucky that the third official song I wrote was a mega hit when I was still fairly young. I'd been around the industry long enough to know being at the forefront wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

"I have a friend, a struggling female musician who nearly overdosed on drugs. The pressure was too high. Her singles weren't charting, the pressure to look a certain way made her anorexic, her family was disappointed in her because they figured once she got the record deal, she'd be successful enough to get them out of their debt but it doesn't happen the way most people think. Lot's of it is luck and some people don't understand that. The pressure made her turn to drugs. I wouldn't wish that lifestyle on anybody.

"But on the other hand, when you're in the forefront, there's that watching someone just have a stadium full of people just together on the same page." His eyes lit up as he looked at his hands holding the cue stick with a wistful smile on his lips. "I've been backstage a couple of times, and nothing can top that feeling. I've seen my brother and his group of friends, I used to get so envious because that's the lifestyle I wanted, especially at that age. It just seems so amazing. But once I saw my first check was way more than theirs, I had no more complaints and realized it was my calling."

I smiled at his last comment--always trying to see the glass half full.

Henry looked up at me, his face turning red. This had to be the first time I saw him startled and extremely embarrassed. He smiled bashfully as he glanced down at his hands again.

"Sorry. That's why I don't like talking about it when people ask me about it.  I get so carried away when it comes to music. Talkin' too much."

I wanted to hug him and squeeze him. He was too fucking cute. He had me feeling all kinds of things I couldn't even begin to explain.

"I have never been so mesmerized in my life."

He sighed, visibly irritated. "Stop."

"You're…words can't…"

"Really, Valerie, you say I'm the corny one."

"I have to be corny for this. You're so out of this world words can't even explain you."

He looked surprised, a bit intimidated even, but I wouldn't back down. He may have heard this a lot but he had to hear it from me. He had to hear that I thought he was beyond amazing. I was in awe of him.

"I'm ordinary, I just decided to follow my dream," he murmured. "There are many other successful songwriters. We're just lucky that we get to sell our music in many platforms. Now if I was a neurosurgeon or an astronaut or hell, a software developer, then I'd think I was the shit. I'm just a songwriter and music producer, that's all. I'm not a rare commodity. "

He astounded me again. This unassuming trait he had. At first I thought it was a means of self-preservation. Underneath all the humbleness he had to have known he was great. He just had to.

"That's not a fucking 'that's all. You took the whole 'life is a gift' to the next level and you will forever have my respect just for doing exactly what you wanted to do, living your life the way you wanted, and not letting anyone tell you otherwise. Hell, and you were kickin' it with women half your age at the same time. True rock star."

Henry's eyes glimmered as he smiled at me, my genuine appraisals of him visibly warming him.

"I want you to be proud of what you've accomplished. I want you to be unafraid and unapologetic of being good. You are who you are. There is no reason to apologize for being successful so vastly so young. You earned it, didn't you? It wasn't handed to you."

If there's one thing my parents instilled in me, it was earning your professional success. Henry had more than earned his.

"This is why I need you in my life. You just make me happy. Extremely happy. Too happy." He almost looked troubled by the thought. That or my imagination was running wild.

"Well I cant wait to tell all my friends, those are just two, that I'm buddied with a world renown producer songwriter. They better bow down to me."

"When I tell my friend I know a software developer they look at me like I've joined the big leagues."

"You just ruined it. Sucked the life out of me."

"Why are you not proud of what you do?" Henry turned the tables and I shrugged.

"Cause I hate it. I made a dumb choice. I thought life was about pleasing everyone because I just needed someone to tell me that I finally did something, one thing, right, and I made the mistake of not following my dreams. I just need to get over gaining acceptance from certain people," I said candidly and he seemed a bit surprised by this. I know I had my immature moments. My moments when I was so lost int he maze of insecurity that i couldn't see how infantilizing it could make me. But I'd had lots of moments for self-reflection that made me realize that certain parts of me, mainly the parts that dealt with the paths I'd chosen in life, were my fault and I had to change it for me.

"Henry, even if you only had one penny to your name," I continued. "I would still be mesmerized by you. Failure was not an option because you didn't equate success to money, you equated it to just being true to yourself. It seems so easy but it takes a strong person to do that. I admire you for that."

I was being honest. I admired fearless people who did as they pleased as long as they weren't hurting others. I knew someone who had done the same and while it had hurt me that their path in life didn't involve me, I now understood why they did it. I remember Henry saying he felt a huge amount of guilt leaving his siblings to acquire his dreams. Sometimes sacrifices needed to be made.

If i was completely honest with myself, despite my parents' iron fists, there was a level of safety at home that kept me from taking that risk to do what I wanted on my own. I always had their tutelage by following their rules. Part of me not following my dreams was being too afraid of not having anyone or anything to fall back on.

"You're making this so hard," Henry murmured and by now I knew it was habit for him to say that.

I looked up from the billiard balls to find him eying me inscrutably.

"What?"

Our eyes held for several moments and I began to blush foolishly. Ugh.

"Can you let the awkwardness stop and tell me what you mean?" I asked a bit impatiently. There was something in his eyes that made me feel like he could peer into my soul. Henry looked at his hands as he twisted the cue stick.

"You're a strong person too, Valerie," he said instead, dodging my probing. "Not everyone has the same path. Just because someone didn't follow their dreams doesn't make them weak or any less of a person. Look at my dad. He did and he didn't succeed but he was strong enough to put his love of music aside so that he could raise his family. I think it's harder to not do what you want to do, and be at a point in your life where you have no choice. Waking up every day and just keeping it going and still trying to be happy and make something of your life, I admire those people.

"There's no right or wrong way of succeeding. Plus, I think sometimes we're all too caught up with success, and it's materialistic success. We don’t just slow down and enjoy the small successes in our lives. I know that sounds cliche and a bit forced, but I'm learning it the hard way. Sometimes I wonder why the hell I kept running for this success. Which is fine, I guess, but for me right now, I just want something simple. It's okay to just be fine and be happy the same way it's okay for someone to just want to win all the time, we're all different, have different paths, different endings."

i stood there blown away by his philosophy of life. It still seemed a bit scattered but I got what he was trying to say, and as usual he was trying to say something without really saying it if it involved his own small sufferings. I looked around at the big house and as I stared at Henry's profile as he thoughtfully eyed his hands, I realized that he may have been a bit overwhelmed by his success. Swallowed by it. He'd have had to come to this mansion all by himself, and then what did all these things mean if he was alone?

While my upbringing wasn't the best, at least I didn't have to do it completely alone. I kept thinking about how expertly Henry went through the streets on his own. How long had he been alone when chasing his dreams?

"You could still become a game coder, you know," he went on, swinging his gaze to me. "Or try. Or incorporate it into your skills somehow. I'm not just talking like a guy with his head in the clouds. I  know it's not an easy thing."

He leaned towards me and got a hold of my wrist, pulling me towards him till I stood between his legs.  He set the cue stick on the pool table and held my hips in his hands as he lazily tilted his head backwards to look at me.

"Stop doubting yourself so much," he said softly, looking up at me.

Shame. Of course I remembered when George said something along the same lines, but refused him to subjugate my line of thinking. Henry was kind enough to listen to me so I was determined to do the same. Smiling, I smoothed my hands over Henry's shoulders and his eyes went ablaze. Slipping my hands under his curls, I locked them behind his nape, feeling so at home with him holding me and me holding him.

Some 'friends' we were, huh?

"I think it's pretty awesome how we're so good for each other. Like we're literally each other's therapists for free."

This made him laugh so hard his laughter reverberated off of the walls. I loved to see him smile so much. His laugh was infectious. He laughed so hard his forehead dropped into my shoulder and I nuzzled the soft curls of his hair. I inhaled. Nice fresh smell of apples.

"We are actually, when you really think about it." His voice was muffled, right above my breast. So comforting.

"I will be honest with you." He rolled his head back to look up at me again."The basis of our friendship. I never thought it would be this amazing."

His hands trailed up the curve of my back, exhilarating me.

"what?" I pressed for elaboration. Henry hesitated, but I goaded him with my eyes.

"This feeling. Being around you. I never thought I would meet such a life-changing person when I met you."

I smiled. Feeling grand. I'd never been called 'life-changing'. I remembered my very first thoughts when I met Henry.

"I had a feeling," I admitted, raising my fingers to get lost in his soft curls. Henry closed his eyes as the balls of my fingers massaged his scalp.

"You did?" he murmured drowsily.

"Yeah. The moment you said you needed to break my walls down, I knew. It was weird."

He opened his eyes and smiled. As I looked down at him I admired the crescents his surprisingly long dark brown lashes formed, framing his brilliant emerald eyes. How had I snagged such a beautiful man.

I'd always thought in the movies or just in general when couples stared at each other lengthily that it must be weird. I could never do it too long with George. I was way more self-conscious then to do it but he would do it with me and sometimes he would just stare at me and tell me I was beautiful.

While I still had a few self-conscious bones in me, I couldn't look away from Henry. Even my own insecurities now weren't enough to keep me from staring in wonderment. We were so incredibly close that I could see the lighter green specks of his eyes to the hazel that surrounded his pupils.

His eyelids lowered as he lifted to meet my lips and I met him halfway, kissing him lightly. His arms wound around me and he drew me closer as the kiss deepened, my fingers speared higher over the globe of his head, tangled in the curls and I got lost in the kiss.

Everytime Henry kissed me, he kissed me like it was both the first time and the last time. Even when the kisses were light. This one had become passionate, almost maddening. There was an urgency in the kiss that alarmed me to the point I felt so…alive.

I kissed him back with the same urgency. It wasn't so much a need but I want. I just wanted to kiss him. I don't know why. Well I knew why. I just couldn't explain it.

Henry suddenly pulled back from me. He immediately put distance between us, his head bowed as he gently pushed me away from him, his hands still on my waist until I was a few feet away.

He got up, not holding my gaze, "I'll show you you're room. It's kind of late. Unless you really want me to drop you off."

He was putting away the dishes. He was suddenly cold towards me. I didn't get it at first. Why was it as though he was battling this inner conflict within him? Then I remembered, he said it was all happening too fast. I agreed, but I was already in the pit as I watched his back facing me, his back muscles bunching as he put away all the recipes in the kitchen.

I couldn't turn away now, the way it was so easy for him to turn from me. I just couldn't. I wanted Henry Walker more than my fucking next breath. He'd opened up a part of himself to me that had me even more drawn. I flipping ached to know more of his philosophies on life. I wanted to know every minute detail about the struggles he faced trying to make it. I wanted to know him. He was paradoxical. An open man that was still a huge case of secrets. I had never met someone like this.

The first time I met Henry I thought I had him figured out because he didn't carry himself with a chip on his shoulder. He didn't walk around with a brooding scowl that already let it be known he was a man of secrets. His arms were open for hugs and he had to be one of the friendliest people one could meet. But there were parts of himself he kept hidden.

I had questions but didn't know how to ask them. We said we wanted to take things slow yet we were kissing each other just about to rip each other's clothes off.

"Do you need help?" I asked gently as I apprehensively walked to the kitchen. I suddenly didn't feel so welcome.

"I got it," was his clipped response. So was this how he worked? He went from being the most gregarious character on the street to responding to me like I was a complete stranger in a hostile environment. This was backwards and I hope he knew it. Then I told myself to stop being so harsh. He'd gotten out of a bad relationship, being cheated on. We weren't exactly being the most well organized with how we were doing this friendship 'thing' of ours.

I knew all this but he'd sparked a hunger in me, an almost selfish one. My body was yearning for him like it had never yearned for anyone before. I was in trouble. It's a bit scary when you discover a new feeling pumping within your veins when you been in this world almost thirty years, especially after having such a mundane life for so long. It was scary and…dangerously exciting.

I think all those years of playing coy and

"Do you have anything more comfortable I can sleep in?" I asked next.

"I'll drop you off."

His response startled me. I grit my teeth. How could he annoy me in one second after making me hot just seconds before.

"I think I want to stay," I said stubbornly and this made Henry pause briefly.

"It's fine, I don't mind dropping you off."

"It's past twelve and I live two hours away."

"I'm a night owl."

"I'm not. I'm really tired."

"I'll  be driving. You can sleep on the ride."

"It will be too uncomfortable knowing you have to drive all that way back."

"I can check into a hotel close by."

"Why waste your money?"

"My money, being the key words…"

He wanted me to lose this battle but I forged on.

"Isn't there a guest room that you showed me earlier? I could sleep there"

Henry sighed sharply halfway through my words. "Okay, I'll show you to it when I'm done here."

He was at my counter, wiping it off now.

"Okay. Take your time. I'll make myself comfortable." I said cheeringly and Henry looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"So you're going to just watch…"

"I don't mind watching. You have nice arms." I swung my legs merrily and for the first time since our mini-argument, Henry managed a smile and shook his head as though even he couldn't believe I'd managed to make him smile.

"Thank you," he murmured.

"And nice shoulders. Your back is really nice too."

He simply shook his head but still wearing a smile.

"You're legs are also really long. Have you modeled before?"

"Valerie…I already said you can stay in the guest room. No need for all the flattery…"

"Oh I was about to say you can be a real jerk too but my asking if you've modeled before was a serious question."

"Once or twice."

I wiggled my hands mischievously before grinning like The Grinch and drumming the tip of my fingers together expectantly.

"Google is my new friend."

Henry laughed heartily at this, his eyes twinkling. "You are definitely one of a kind, Valerie."

"The kind you can't stay mad at?" I asked hopefully and while his eyes said yes, he said differently.

"Only the annoying kind."

"A badge I wear with pride." I took it all in stride and Henry seemed to appreciate this with a smile.

"I can't win with you can I? I have to fight really hard, don't I?" he asked as he completed cleaning the counter and I shrugged.

"Follow me," He said after storing the cleaning rug.

He showed me to the guestroom that was cream and pale blue, with a wide window that overlooked the ocean. It was a nice room but my earlier thoughts of how impersonal this house was had never left. I wondered if anyone had ever slept there.

"Okay," he started closing the door behind him. "Make yourself at home--"

"Wait!"

Henry pursed his lips and I caught the aggravation on his face before he tried to soften it while slowing down with forced patience and turning back at me.

"Yes Valerie?"

"I need a t-shirt."

"I'll be right back."

"Can I come wi--"

"It's a very short trip." He quickly closed the door behind him, this time not hiding his vexation with me. I heard a thump on the door and when I peered at the floor I saw the shadow of his feet. He was leaning against the door.

He was trying to stay away from me. For the better of…our friendship I suppose. But I was burning up. I wasn't thinking straight. Suddenly I couldn't imagine spending this night without him. I didn't care what we did. I didn't care if we talked or just sat around looking at each other all night or just lay together, I wanted to be near him.

Maybe it was this underlying fear that if he dropped me off, he'd disappear off the face of the earth again. And who knew for how long this time? I was just about to hop off the bed and go searching for him like a chicken without a head when he returned with a two folded garments in one hand.

As he handed it to me, I held onto his hand.

"Henry?""

"Hmm?"

The muscles of his wrist were strained the moment I touched him and his expression was slightly alarmed, like I never should have touched him in the first place.

"Stay with me please," I pleaded quietly.

He was clearly stunned, but the dread that soon followed was loud and clear as well.

"We can watch a movie," I began in a rushed, almost panicked voice. "Or just talk some more about you and--"

"I have nothing more to say." His voice was a bit hard and it took me aback so much. He must have realized how cold he sounded and he sighed heavily.

"I can't," his voice was pained.

"Why…" The hurt in my voice was evident.

His jaw twitched as he tried to swallow his words, then he admitted stonily. "Because I'll want to take you. All of you. I would want it all. Today. Now."

My entire face flushed. I went warm all over. His voice was gravelly and sure. He knew what he wanted. I did too. I was so drunken from him I spoke without much thought. "…so take me…"

Henry closed his eyes and he shook his head as if wishing I'd never uttered those words, "Valerie…you don't want me to…"

"I know what I want. I want you."

He opened his eyes, they were brilliant and bright in surprise. How could he be surprised that I wanted him? I saw some of the uncertainty in his eyes and realized how I may have sounded a bit too needy and softened my plea a little.

"For now. Not like, in that way. You know what I mean…"

His expression became ambiguous and I couldn't help but become insecure once again. I let go of his hand and scooted further up the bed, away from him.

“I think you're the one who doesn't want me," I murmured, somewhat petulantly.

"I want you more than any…" his voice tapered off and he sighed. "You don't want to know how much I want you."

While the words should have made me high, they triggered something dark from my past.

'The only reason men like inexperienced, innocent girls is because they can be easily controlled. The same way I controlled you because you were so fucking desperate. so fucking desperate and weak. No one will ever truly want you.'

That memory made me speak caustically.

"I'm not dumb, okay? I know what this is. I don't want any promises and won't make them. I don't want commitment. I just want you, right now, in this moment. That's all. Nothing permanent. I swear."

For several moments Henry held my gaze, his expression neutral. When he finally spoke, it was in a very calm, resolved tone.

"Okay." Reaching behind his nape with one hand, he bowed his head and peeled his shirt in one swoop. Then he went to the door and closed it.

And he turned off the lights.

Chapter 15

I would never forget the sounds of the waves from that night.

Once Henry had tossed his shirt to the floor and left me speechless, everything got so quiet that the sound of the waves from the nearby ocean seemed to liven from nowhere.

The waves highlighted to me where I was in my life: in a place I never thought I'd be. They highlighted how far away I was from home; this was the second time I'd gone far from home and hadn't notified mom or dad.

They highlighted who was standing before me: Henry Walker.

I always had an inkling that he had a nice body but I didn't think it would be this perfect. I knew maybe me really liking him so much already was probably skewing my vision but I think even his worst enemy would agree: Henry Walker had a body on him.

Aside from the moonlight, the only other lights were various shards of the pale blue lights that surrounded the house--being that the guest room was on the ground floor. They made the room look mystical, something out of a dream, and they were slightly invasive because of one of those damned grandiose windows this house was famous for.

So this lighting made for a very overawing sight of Henry. One couldn't even tell the color of his eyes in the the dim lighting of the room now. While he was muscled and toned, he wasn't built like a bodybuilder. He was athletically lean with a defined torso and a flat stomach that had a light six pack. His torso and arms were cloaked in artful tattoos that were the most handsome I'd ever seen, not obstructive at all. He knew what he was doing with those tattoos. The whimsical lines and different shades and pops of color that I could see in the dim lighting all worked harmoniously together. The only thing that really stood out was the number '4' right above where his heart was located. I wondered the significance and was briefly reminded that tomorrow would be the 4th. July 4th. Actually, today, I remembered, cause it was passed 12.

Even though I wanted to ask what all his tattoos meant, I couldn't speak. I was too busy admiring the art on his body and his body as well. My heart raced as I lowered my eyes to the trail of hair that began under his navel.

I wanted him. I wanted him all.

"Take off your clothes," he instructed and I opened my mouth, not sure of what I wanted to protest. How could I start acting demure when I was the one who'd basically pounced on him and challenged him to take me? He'd probably known better with all his experience with women. He must have known I was all talk.

I didn't want to be all talk. I did want to jump on him. Like I could move a muscle of mine, other than the light shaking of invigoration and fear that was taking place in my limbs.
 
At first I didn't think he was serious, then I thought he would spare me and come and do it for me. Instead, his eyes alit with fire and they were engaging as they were ensnaring as he dipped his chin.

"Slowly," he murmured as he raked the hot coals that were his eyes all over my body. He folded his arms in a very patient gesture that demonstrated he had all night and he was going to treasure every moment carefully and wisely.  I felt more moisture pull at my center just from the look in his eyes and my toes curled as anxiousness spread through me.

This was the side of Henry Walker that stole hearts. It was that side that hibernated constantly at him but only reared its head when it wanted to claim its prey. 

He wasn't going to help and looked like he would stare at me the whole night so I decided hey I might as well. I now had the stage.

I had never truly had the stage, to be the object of desire. I gulped hard and sat up with great effort because my arms were so weak from my rakish nerves. Avoiding eye contact, I unbuttoned my shirt, my shaky fingers making it extremely difficult.

My nerves were so bad, the thumping of my heart was loud in my ear, but I forged on.

I peeked at him to see the humor in his eyes and made a face at him, only for him to smirk. Once I parted the shirt and shed it off of me, the smirk on his face faded. I was sitting in nothing but my bra and skirt in front of him. He still had my panties in his pocket.

The hungry look in his eyes gave me a burst of confidence I'd felt only once in my life. I ignored the reflexive dread that followed, forcing myself to enjoy the moment.

I knew my thoughts of wow this really hot guy is basically speechless cause of me were very juvenile and immature, even very shallow, but that's what happened when a person didn't have experience the time the world says they're supposed to.

Knowing now that my stretchmarks didn't bother him as much as they bothered me, I began to shimmy my skirt down my thighs. I did note how pathetic it was that I was okay with my stretch marks since they didn't bother him and that wasn't good. I had to work on that, but would worry about that later.

Swallowing hard again, I looked up to find Henry drinking me with his eyes. They were burning fiercely in a way that made me ache.

He was eying my legs, about to take a step forward, then suddenly stop as something dawned on him. This made me pause.

"Touch yourself."

I eyed Henry in horror. What kind of fuckery was he talking about now?

"Open your legs and touch yourself," He elaborated so bluntly with a teasing smirk, my eyes widened even more. I remember my mother would always tell me never to open my legs for anyone until I had a thriving career and here I was, being told to part my legs for a very ravishing man. Henry's tone was a bit challenging now. He was testing me. He wanted to see just how far I could go with exploring my sexuality. He'd said as much when we were in the back of the taxi that he could just tell just from my walk. I flushed at the thought that he'd watched me walk.

This was so weird to me. I remember when I had my first time with George. He'd impatiently tugged my clothes off of me. He hadn't stared at my body like it was an awing piece of art the way Henry was looking at me now. Of course the pressing thought that if I still weighed the same with all the love handles and folds I wouldn't even be in this room with Henry right now when Henry's voice pierced into my disturbing thoughts.

"I want you to not think so much. Just let it go. Enjoy yourself. Close your eyes and just feel what I feel when I touch you. I want you to feel how beautiful you are when I feel you."

My mouth dropped and my throat went dry. How could he make touching oneself sound so…mesmerizing.

Moistening my lips, with Henry's eyes flickering as he caught the action, I swallowed hard. I couldn't get passed doing anything without him noticing. He was keen to my every move. It made my heart sing but also made me feel pressure.

I sighed and closed my eyes, having to remember not to think so much, one of my biggest flaws. I remembered just how hungrily Henry had feasted on me twice, the second time like a beast that had been in a cage too long and finally released to its first meal. I gasped when I touched myself and felt how wet and hot I was. Remembering how Henry touched and teased me, I bit my bottom lip as my fingers adventurously fondled the silky folds. Henry's rough sigh encouraged me to explore further, with my hips agitating now at the feeling. Also because adrenaline was rushing through me.

As prudish as I was, this was not my natural self. I was not such a prude that I'd never tried my hand at masturbating, I just wasn't really good at it, but something was different this time.

Something inside me was just very thrilled. It's like I'd opened a door I'd always walked passed in my life because I'd always believed that I wasn't 'allowed' to go there. Whenever I tried to mention trying 'new things' with George, he always came off very uncomfortable and made me feel weird for even mentioning anything to him. All my life I felt I didn't deserve much, even sex, because as many said, I was 'disgusting' and had 'done that to myself' as far as gaining lots of weight. So when George made me believe he loved me, I thought I could confide in him about my sexual desires. Wrong.

Sitting in front of Henry with my legs parted, it may have looked stupid, but I felt so…free. Like I could do and be anything around him. Maybe I was thinking too deeply into it, but it nearly brought tears into my eyes. I pushed those thoughts back and focused on what my hands were doing, imagining Henry's handsome, red mouth there.

I moaned, fingering myself with my middle finger like he did with his tongue when he was searching and tasting.

"Valerie…" The rough sound of my name sounded so erotic. I started breathing through my mouth as I thrust my finger in and out of myself like he did with his tongue because he knew how crazy that got me. This is when he usually pried my legs further to get deeper. I opened my legs more for him as I thrust deeper into myself.

"Fuck…." I heard followed by a hiss that made me leak even more onto my fingers.

"Henry…" I moaned as I started to use my thumb to rub my clitoris, imagining it was his tongue circling me. My body began to get taut as touching myself there heightened my arousal. The sounds Henry was making were taking me there too. I bit my lip as I quickened my thumb over my clit like his tongue would do, my breaths coming out in quick gushes. I imagined that warm, wet tongue, the desperate groans, and I came. Hard.

When my body stopped convulsing and I was breathing my last deep breath, I opened my eyes to find Henry staring at me in amazement. I almost smiled because I was usually the one getting amazed by him, and it didn't take long for that to happen again. His lips were slightly parted and one hand was at his groin, rubbing suggestively. Just knowing I was the reason for all this gave me so much power I'd never felt before in my life.

This surge of bravado made me lift my hands. Normally I wouldn't have even thought to do something like this, but his devouring eyes got me so hyper, I daintily run my tongue over the ball of my middle finger, looking him directly in the eye. I had tasted myself on his tongue multiple times by now so I was not surprised by the taste moreso than I was by my behavior. I don't know where this powerful seductress in me came from. Maybe she'd been locked in a cage, guarded for so long and was finally breaking free.

She was out because my guard was down.

I didn't know how long it would last, but Henry had made something awaken within me that surprised the hell out of me.

He was surprised too, his eyes widening and his shoulders rising and falling further as he breathed deeper. Muttering a curse, Henry bit his lip and jetted to the bed. He closed his lips over my tongue while it danced lasciviously over my fingers and groaned appreciatively as he obviously tasted myself on me. He tasted my tongue and outlined my lips, clearly trying to pace himself. Then haplessly, his tongue snaked back out to my finger to taste the rest of me that I hadn't. I watched in some kind of twisted awe as he lapped me up and then tried to join him, like we were both sharing a popsicle. Henry's eyes lifted to mine, flickering with humor as mine did. As our tongues slid across my fingers, they occasionally slipped through the cracks and whenever they rubbed against each other, it was electric. I liked this little devious form of sharing we were partaking in.

He looked so pleased by my participation it made me feel good. If this was what sex was supposed to be like, I wanted it all the time. We were having fun. We were being adventurous and we hadn't even travelled the world together. We were experiencing new worlds together, finding the adventures in each other's bodies.

Henry's hunger augmented and he lowered my hand to devour my lips, searching and tasting even more. Then I froze in surprise when he cupped my wetness. He was much gentler in how he touched me down there. I smiled inwardly thinking he was probably over-eager and got carried away. It was actually nice to know that someone wanted me so much they couldn't control themselves.

To show him that I wanted him too, I opened my legs a bit more to give him more access. Henry sighed into my mouth and I moaned as his fingers slid easily into me, as I was already soaking wet. Of course his fingers felt better in  me than mine did because he knew what to do. It was a bit daunting to think that someone else knew a part of me better than I did, but I didn't have much time to be intimidated too long. Disrupting the kiss, I threw my head back in ecstasy as he began measured 'come heather' motions with his index and middle fingers. From his vantage he could get deeper in me than I could on my own and he was rubbing that spot again that always made me go crazy.

I was squirming like crazy, biting my moans and clawing at the sheets with my legs restlessly shifting on either side of Henry's hard body.

"So good…Valerie…"

The sound of his satisfied deep voice made my vagina naturally close around his fingers, and I moaned as I felt him more. Henry moaned deep in his throat at the tighter vault I created, then took me higher as he began the mind-numbing act of rubbing the pad of his thumb on my throbbing clit while moving his fingers within me.

All I was doing was following his lead because he was allowing me to. I didn't have to lay there like a rock and just 'take it' painfully like times in the past. Henry and I having already been sexual before made me a bit more comfortable for this moment because I didn't have to worry about my stretch marks and for that, I was glad. I didn't have to be so self-conscious about my jarring stretch marks.

The fact that I happened to really, really, really, like him, and the fact that he seemed to like me and how my body responded to him, gave me yet another eruption of confidence. The mind is a powerful tool because those thoughts alone caused me to use my body experimentally. I curiously began to move my hips up and down to meet his manual thrusts. This caused more friction thus more pleasure. 

Apprehensively, I watched his expression as I did this and Henry lifted his eyes in surprise at me. For a moment I thought he'd complain that I was trying to have way too much control, but when I saw desire infiltrate his eyes, I knew he liked it. It made me feel somewhat powerful.

Hungrily biting his lip, he slowly eased a third finger into me. I winced at first at the stretching, but it quickly felt good because he took painstaking time. Then he began to slowly move his fingers in me, simply just acquainting himself with me. My fingers curled further into the bed. His lips soon found their way to my arched neck and he alternated between licking and kissing down to my chest.

The sound of sweet, small kisses over my breaths and thrashing body was so erotic I was sure Henry felt me dousing his fingers even more. He kissed his way back up to my shoulder and bared his teeth as he caught the bra strap, tugging it down. With my shoulder exposed, he planted soft kisses along it. With his free hand, he peeled the other bra strap and tried to undo the bra with one hand.

"Take it off," he ordered frustratingly when he couldn't do it with one hand. Clearly he didn't want to take his other out of me. Since I didn't either, I tried to take it off, but with great effort. My limbs were a buzz. If he'd stop pleasuring me this would be so much easier.

I flimsily tossed the bra somewhere, I don't know where, cause my concentrations were on Henry's hand.

"So beautiful," he murmured and began to kiss down the curve of my chest until he got to my left breast. He unashamedly took one nipple into his mouth and rolled his tongue over the areola before dusting the tip of it over the sensitive nipple. My body jerked at the powerful sensation, making my hips agitate thus making Henry's fingers hit more spots. Additionally my jerky movements made his thumb stop its delicious rub over my clit.

"Oh fuck…Henry…"

He soundly suctioned the nipple off, his eyes burning with delight.

"Good girl. That's what I want to hear. Don't hold back," his voice rumbled like a steady tune that I could hear all night. I was getting so weak my arms gave and I was laying on my back, writhing beneath him.

"Stop?" He questioned and my eyes flew open and I angrily stared at his green eyes as they twinkled teasingly.

"I love having you in the palm of my hand," he had the nerve to say as a wicked smirk elongated on his lips.

My mouth flew open to tell him to shut up when he pressed his palm against my clitoris before rubbing from side to side, making me bite my words and arch.

"No fucking pun, huh?" I miraculously managed to say breathlessly as I frustratingly pushed some curls away from my face. 

Henry chuckled in amusement and lowered his head to give the other breast the same attention. Licking and sucking.

"Oh god. Henry…oh god…" I gripped his head, his curls tangled in my fingers, and held steadfast. All the while my legs agitated while his fingers continued to go to work.

Henry tore his lips from my chest.

"Look at me," he demanded and my eyes flew open. He'd leveraged his weight on his elbow as he lay sideways with me next to him, flat on my back. My chest was rising and falling from his hands.

"You smell wonderful," he murmured and wiggled his fingers inside me, making me jump lightly. He laughed throatily at my reaction and I bit my lip shyly.

"Is that what you do when you come?" Henry asked, eyes drunken with lust as he appreciated my lip biting. My cheeks grew warm and I looked away. I couldn't handle the deep voice and charming eyes sometimes. My nipples had tightened at that question alone as it brought so many thoughts and memories. Especially the fact that he was the first person to introduce me to orgasm.

"You know I haven't really watched you come, right," Henry murmured more as a statement than a question, his voice rough with want as he fingered me and began rubbing my clit again.

"Ah…Henry…" It was too pleasureful. I tried to back up but Henry hovered me again and trapped my waist with his other hand and continued to expertly fondle me. I was biting my lip again and Henry moaned lowly. I felt he had inched closer to me as his breaths caressed my lips, his voice quieter. 

"I want to watch all the faces you make when you're in your highest form of pleasure, Valerie."

"Mmm…" his words and hands made me moan as I averted my face, clawing at the sheets. With my face averted, Henry saw this as an opportunity to align his lips with my ear that was now facing him.

Then he nastily whispered to me, "And I want to be inside of you this time,  when you do."

I panted. I could feel the orgasm on it's way as Henry quickened his thumb rubbing on me. I thought about his words as he rubbed me and came hard against him, crying out and twisting underneath him.

I was shaking after the orgasm seemed to rupture through me. Henry finally removed his hand from within and put two fingers in his mouth, appreciatively closing his eyes as he tasted me. I got hot all over again. Fuck damn it. And he opened his eyes as he ran his tongue over his palm, which was even more hotter to me.

I blushed and looked away and saw Henry smirking from the corner of his eyes. He planted both hands on either side of me, his eyes burning into my sudden shy form as he spoke.

"I would love to eat you but I have waited to be inside you so long love, we will leave that for a later day."

Oh god. Eat me? That made my clit jump. This is the Henry that had been hiding in his shadow the night we first met. He was so all-encompassing, how could anyone escape him. Now I knew why some of those other women acted crazy around him. Dear god.

I felt Henry get off the bed and I watched in the shadows of the night as he fished through his pocket. My heart jumped at the sight of his silhouette against the distant image of white foam from the waves crashing. The sight was so beautiful yet I felt so haunted by how beautiful this all was to me. This was too perfect. The sound of the waves outside, punctured by the sound of Henry's belt clinking as he undid it was imprinted to my memory.

My body was charged and restless with excitement. But not for long.

I heard the condom wrapper rip and closed my eyes. This should have brought me good memories, but a sudden fear began to needle into me. Fear and some kind of dread from the past.

Then the dread was pierced through when his jeans fell to the floor and I got to see an outline of his masculine, strong legs. I bit my lip and my legs shifted as I clinched the bedsheets.

There was a tug of war going in my brain and in my heart. There were too many things that were signaling bad memories from my brain and my heart but there was also all this new excitement that my brain and heart couldn't ignore.

I sucked a breath as the mattress shifted when Henry rejoined me on the bed. My mouth watered when I saw his dick proudly in front of him. I gulped. He was sized very nicely and I squirmed wondering how that was going to work especially with how long I'd gone without sex.

The waves crashing outside seemed to be some sort of reminder that I was in a different place and a different time, so I should give this all a chance with a clear head. And the waves also somehow made this all the more intimate as I admired Henry a bit more now that he was within close proximity of me. The dark curls that surrounded his manhood rendered me hungry and so did the bulging muscles of his thighs as he took position above me. I wanted to touch him so badly. I wanted to feel those tight curls between my fingers. But I was trained not to touch. That training was instilled so much into me I kept my hands as still as possible to myself as Henry hovered me.

Henry kissed me deeply as he settled above me, and my body started to warm up again. He kissed me with passion, his head dipping, the curls of his hair tickling my face. Reflexively, my hands were on his arms.

The kisses as quiet as the waves sounded outside of us. It just sounded so breathtakingly beautiful. I knew I would never forget this night as long as I lived. Then Henry stopped abruptly.

"Open up for me love," he said as he ran his hands along the line my tightly clenched thighs formed. I didn't even realize I was that rigid beneath him until he pointed it out.

"Sorry," I apologized awkwardly as I relaxed my legs and Henry made home in between me.

When I felt his dick against my thigh, a surprising anxiety began to crescendo throughout my system, like a slowly moving hurricane into a town that had no choice but to wait for the attack. Dealing with Henry's mouth and hands was fine because we'd already broken through that barrier.

Him actually placing his vessel into me was totally different. My experience with that had not been consistent. It had ranged from extremely painful my first time, to a zig-zag effect of highs and lows after.

Sometimes it was good--very rarely--I think I'd loved George so much I couldn't tell. Other times it was bland because I just lay there while a man slammed into me and shook on top of me. Most times it was uncomfortable. The one time it had been the best turned out to be the worst night of my life.

My racing thoughts were interrupted by delicate kisses--which I was learning were the worst. They were my kryptonite. They always spoke so many volumes. His soft kisses always made me feel calm and cared for and safe and precious to the point of pain. It kind of hurt to be treated like something so treasured and breakable that he wanted to take his time to make sure he didn't break me or lose me.

Or hurt me.

Maybe I was thinking too far into it. It couldn't mean that much. A kiss was just a kiss, right? Or maybe he was baiting me to believe he cared just so that he could get a good fuck. But what was wrong with that anyway? No strings attached, right? Oh fuck it! I had to stop this. It wasn't my mind over thinking. My heart was doing all the talking that was confusing my mind. My heart nearly caused me to hiccup a sob because it was telling me that this was making love. This had to be what making love was. I clutched my eyes tight so that I wouldn't cry. I refused to ruin this moment.

I was almost in tears because this is what I'd always imagined being intimate with another person was and the fact that it was happening when I thought it would never happen to me was overwhelming me. Granted I was making a mountain out of a molehill, surely I was taking this too seriously. I know I was. I just--

"Are you ready for me?" Henry whispered against my ear, cutting off my agonizing thoughts.

Was I? Was I ready for this? How dare I fucking ask after pleading with the guy to take me.

"Yes. I'm ready," I said encouragingly, though my voice was shaky from unshed tears, but I just did not want him to think I didn't want this. I wanted this.

His fingers pressed into my hips as he lifted me off the bed.

I closed my eyes, feeling both unnerved and embarrassed by his deep gaze as he hefted my hips for his entry.

With a guttural groan, so deep from his chest I felt the vibration on my nipples, Henry slid into me remarkably slowly. As his bulbous tip nudged at my tight opening, I tensed and sucked in a breath, anticipating excruciating pain. It had been a very, very long time, because it hurt at first, his girth was something I had to get used to. But thank god, it didn't hurt as bad as my first time. My nails dug into his arms, which strained in response to the pain I was sure I was causing him, as I adjusted to the encompassing feeling of him filling my insides.

Henry hissed, his fingers pressing into me almost painfully as he held on firmly and pushed himself further into me. I grit my teeth at the surprising pain that spread through me as he slid in further despite my well lubricated walls. I expelled a sound breath as he went even further, biting my lip.

His eyes were closed in bliss, like he was in pure heaven. His lips parted as he panted sharp breaths through them. I felt so special, surprised that I could make another human being feel so heavenly.

"Holy...shit…" he breathed in wonder, blinking his eyes open as he looked down at where our bodies connected. He really was amazed. I was amazed that he was amazed. Hell I was turned on when I saw our bodies together. I'd never been given the opportunity to see it before because the person I was with didn't fucking care.

"Val…so tight…" He could barely finish his sentence then looked up at me, his eyes wild with surprise.

"Are you a virgin?"

I shrunk under the gaze and shook my head, mouthing, "No." I couldn't find my voice. I was still reeling over how amazed and shocked he appeared, unable to believe I was the reason.

"Fuck…you're so tight..." He took a few collective breaths and blinked out of the stupor he was in before zeroing in on me again. His expression grew apologetic. He kissed my forehead before lifting on his elbows, asking, "Are you okay?"

I nodded jerkily and Henry took a few moments to collect himself.

He pressed his forehead against mine and said, "Hold on to me."

Then he began to roll into me carefully. The pleasurable and painful sensations were so strong that I couldn't help moaning and arching into me as my body was possessed by these feelings. I gnawed at my lip to swallow the whimper that nearly shot out of me. I couldn’t stop the tears from stinging my eyes.

I remember my first time. It hurt like a bitch. It hurt so bad because George was not careful, neither was he gentle with me. He was just trying to get it over with it seemed.

Even as good as Henry was making me feel, because my mental state was very restless, I couldn’t fully enjoy what we were doing and began to panic. My entire body began to tense. I hated myself for it, but I wheezed as I tried to get away from Henry.

He paused and stilled me, his eyes wide with concern.

“Am I hurting you?” while his voice was rough with desire it was also brimming over with regret.

My chest rose and fell as I tried to catch my breath, looking up at Henry with wet eyes. God, I’d cried twice in one night. The last thing I wanted was for him to think that he was hurting me. I shook my head and as I closed my eyes, I remembered all the therapy I’d received.

He was not George.

More tears eked out in frustration over how badly I allowed George to affect me. Since I hadn’t had any relationship contact since George, I didn’t realize just how bad off I was with the opposite sex.

I felt warmth over my cheek as his lips lightly whisked by me.

“It’s okay. I’ll take care of you.”

His words made me hiccup a sob. George said something along those lines too. But what also made me cry was he didn't villanize me for being difficult like he had the right to do.

“I’m s-so sorry. I’m not normal…” I regretted apologizing. I think I said this before too when we first got intimate at my condo. Damn. I was ruining the moment. I had to stop this. I really had to stop this. I knew it was annoying. Time wasting. Unnecessary. I knew it. Knowing it didn't mean it was easy to stop though. This had to be exhausting for him. I didn't want to be the woman that always needed reassurance, but he was managing to unearth so many unsolved things I'd buried. He just had this special key to a cage with a hidden lock--I couldn't even find it. But he did. It seemed that only he could find it. That made me a bit uncomfortable that someone else was so aware of me even more than myself.

The fact that so far he didn't seem tired of me, the fact that he was so patient showed me that he understood. He wordlessly understood. I didn't have to explicitly explain myself like I did with most people.

That shook me to my soul that he could understand me without me having to say one word.

I had never felt so vulnerable. I was shaking just a little because I was breaking down right there underneath him, with him still inside of me. The feeling of him filling me was so great but my burdens were even greater. I wanted to get away from him when his words stilled me.

“Shh…you’re perfect Val. Just perfect. Look at how perfect you are for me.”

When I went still, it grew quiet. And I heard those waves again, crashing onto the shore.

Henry had raised his upper body and I peered down at us again, getting even more turned on than earlier because I was a bit more relaxed. Slowly I began to breath and I closed my eyes and tried to free my mind. I could hear our breaths and the waves. Something in his words made me let that very binding part of me go.

"I will take care of you. Relax. Relax for me…" he whispered through labored breaths.

I shivered at the words, but it was like that shiver prayed a calm in me that forced me to breath easy.

When I finally relaxed and stopped tensing, I could concentrate more on the feeling of him within me. The pain and discomfort began to ebb out of me, and the feeling of him inside of me that had been fighting so hard to take control, became very welcome once I eased my mind. My rigid fingers clawing at his arms had relaxed and I shyly wound them around his neck. I realized then that I used to either grab at George's arms or the sheet beneath me to bear through the impending pain. With my arms around Henry's neck, this felt even more intimate and was more inviting for him. The worry in his eyes disintegrated and he kisses me gently, adding even more to my relaxation. He had to be a magician. Not many could do this for me.

Now that we were in the calm of after the storm, Henry began to move within me. I was used to being hammered into, so this was a surprise for me. A surprise I welcomed because it felt so fucking got damned good.

His slow precision was forcing me to feel every single inch of him, forcing every nerve of mine to experience him. It was forcing me to discover places of myself I didn't know could make me scream out.

My unrehearsed screams also came as a shock. I was so used to faking it, so used to trying to morph my grunts of pain into what I imagined ecstasy should sound like that this was throwing me for such a loop.

So this is my real voice when pleasure took control of every cell of my body.

Subconciously, I was probably still holding back, because Henry sighed against my lips, his lips ghosting against mine.

"Let it out," he briefly bit my bottom lip and added in a rough, dark, hoarse whisper. "I want to hear that beautiful voice scream."

This was followed by deeper thrusts as he lifted my hips higher towards him and picked up the pace. A loud moaned escaped my arched throat a sound that didn't seem to belong to my own body. I clung to him while he set me to newer heights of pleasure I once thought unattainable.

"Yesss…take me. Take all of me..." Henry hissed against the bottom lip of my gaping mouth. He'd tug my hips closer to him every time he ground into me, then release the pressure of his fingers as he slid out right to my entry before holding on tight, lifting me, and thrusting into me again.

I locked my restless feet around him unashamedly. I had never been able to do such a thing before.

I didn't want him to stop, but my limbs were under siege buzzing with pleasure as he unlocked my legs from his waist. He placed them on his shoulders, sliding back into me before I could make some kind of protest. I'd have felt stupid for protesting because I screamed out when he slid back into me, deeper than before. More pleasure.

"Oh god…" I panted at the sheer surprise this new angle brought. Henry smirked as he watched me drown in ecstasyas he thrust again to the hilt and enjoyed his new home there, rolling his hips to stir his member in me for a few moments. Fuck. I felt him moving within me deep. It felt too fucking good when he did this.  Mind blowing.

I gnawed my lip biting a moan as I flung my head to one side. I gripped his shoulders to try and hold on to something.

He began to thrust into me again, his pace quicker than before. For now I couldn't try to meet his thrusts or anything. All I could do was lay there and take it because it was so new to me. It hurt just a little, the short, hard thrusts, but that's strangely what made it so pleasurable. There was this feeling of being taken control over, being handled, that I illicitly liked. I couldn't explain it.

I wanted more  but yet I would have been content with what he kept on doing. Before I knew it I was speaking in tongues.

"Yess…Henry…Oh….Yes…."

Henry's groans became more guttural. More uncontrolled. More animalistic. And I fucking loved it. It was like he couldn't get enough.

And I'd soon find out. Suddenly Henry stopped and he knelt in between my legs. My eyes opened in confusion and distress that he'd stopped the pleasure. 

"More, baby. Give me more," he rasped demandingly.

At first I didn't know what he meant and became embarrassed about my limited knowledge in the ways of pleasing a man. Then Henry showed me what he meant by holding under my knees and spreading my thighs far apart, having me as open as ever for him.

His eyes flickered with desire as he stared at my wetness and he hungrily bit his bottom lip. He quickly plunged his entire length back into me, the sudden invasion amazing me.

And a delicious invasion it was.

"Oooh…" An elongated moan escaped me as my back arched sharply at the feeling of him hitting a newer, deeper spot. I lost control immediately.

We were both frenzied and mad in this world we were lost in. Our world.

His thrusts now were headboard-banging powerful. At first I placed my hand at his lower abdomen, I think my nails must have grazed his skin as I couldn't handle the new position initially. The pleasure was too paralyzing, too blinding, I wanted him to slow down.

Henry gritted his teeth in what seemed like pain after I unintentionally scratched him, but excitement lit up his eyes.

"C'mere," he murmured and roughly grabbed my wrist from his abs, the other from his arm and pinned them hard on either side of head.

His thrusts were powerful and unrelenting, making me scream out again as he buried himself to the hilt each time he thrust. I didn't know him pining me down that way would turn me on so much.

"Oh Henry! Oh god…more…ah…" something made me lift my legs, wanting more. Needing more. He knew exactly what to do to make me yearn for me.

"So good Valerie…so fucking good…fuck…" Henry hissed and by then I'd acclimated to the pace. When I submitted to him, Henry let go of my hands and held my legs, right underneath my knees again. He yanked me closer and the plunging commenced. My hands were flat on his chest as he bore into me. I liked that our bodies were smacking against each other with primal need. There was a point where that was all I could hear coupled with some large waves that had crashed to shore.

I liked that he was taking charge of what he wanted--me. And in those brief moments I liked being possessed in such a way. I like that he didn't let me stop this pleasure. Oh god, what was happening to me? I liked being controlled underneath him like this.

What the fuck…I was taught never to let anyone control me….

I liked being filled so fully and possessively for that particular moment. George didn't even cross my mind.

My entire body shook with each impact of his thrusts and I was moaning and groaning loudly, probably said some incoherent words here and there. Honestly, I don't fucking know.

"Fuck, you're so tight…so wet…fucking perfect...Valerie…"I barely heard Henry over the headboard hitting the wall. He thrust really hard and my hand on his chest clawed. Henry grunted. Still holding under my knees, he pushed my thighs far back till they rested on my breasts and lowered to kiss me while thrusting even deeper and holding it.

I was whimpering now at the pleasure as my legs flailed over his strong, flexing back as the steady thrusts began again. I felt crazed and bedeviled and lost it when he wedged his hand in between our sweaty bodies to rub my clit with his thumb. Fuck whenever he did this I just lost.

"No no no. Henry please!" I tried to get away because of the predominant pleasure that often came when he did that. Now I loved losing control but too much of it was just that, too much.

"Yes," Henry growled, holding me still. "You will come."

I bit my lip as the overpowering shards of pleasure pierced through me. It was so good it hurt.

"Come baby," Henry coached. "Let me watch you come on me…"

While Henry thrust short jerky thrusts into me and rubbing my clit, I began to feel the build up begin in my toes.

"Oh god…please.." I knew it was going to be a strong one. I just knew it. I didn't know if I could handle it.  It kept building up as he kept on thrusting and rubbing me.

Then suddenly he stopped the hard thrusts to grind slowly into me while still pleasuring my clit with my thumb.

And his head dipped with his lips next to my ear.

"I want you to come hard, Val. While I fuck you. Take you."

And the orgasm hit.

Mercilessly.

Who knew words could be so strong? The fact that this nice jolly guy had just said something so dirty and hot to me while rubbing one of my most sensitive spots all the while being inside of me...how could I not come.

I exploded, my walls spastic around him. I was quivering all over. All my limbs were subjugated by the pleasure of the orgasm. I saw stars, the whole nine. Above me Henry moaned my name as I came hot and heavy all over him.

I had never come over another man before.

This sent him over the edge because he held my hips tightly, almost abrasively and thrust hard into me a couple of times.

"Henry!" I called out to him, feeling his explosion before it came and Henry wound his arms around my waist extremely tight. Him so close to me I could feel his chest, arm, thigh, and leg muscles tense. His teeth trapped some skin on my neck and he bit as he silently came. I moaned at the sting on my neck and clung onto him. When he finally expelled his withheld breath, he grunted deeply and collapsed heavily on top of me.

He panted heavily into my hair and some of his curls tickled my cheek once he'd spent all his release into the condom, his arms still coiled protectively around my waist. I lay there replete from all that had happened, so much that I couldn't move a muscle. Was this real life?

When Henry began to move off of me and pull out of me, I made a protesting sound and tried to wrap my legs and arms around him. While I had expected him to leave me after the fact like George had began to do, I hadn't expected my instant response to latch onto him. I didn't want him to ever leave this bed. As of now, I never wanted either of us to leave this room.

"Shh. It's okay, I'm here," he told me with soft kisses. He slid out of me with a light moan and kept his arms around me as his entire body now cupped mine from behind.

My entire body was singing as I drifted to sleep, enjoying the feel of Henry's rapid heartbeat slowing to a steady pace against my back as he buried the lower half of his face on my neck. I loved the feel of his lashes tickling my shoulder as he laid to sleep.

I had never really fit in much growing up, but never in my life had I felt so much like I belonged as I did that moment in Henry's arms.

My guard had completely broken down that night for the second time in my life. And just as that pestering panic that always seemed to follow everywhere my hope, happiness, freedom, and confidence went, the waves sounded again. Louder and clearer now that my world was no longer so involved in Henry.

The waves saved me from that darkness that followed me in my shadow and these waves reminded me that the arms I was in were Henry's not George's. Those waves reminded me that this was here and now.

Not the past.

They even made me think that, I possibly had a different future than the one I'd imagined for so long.

I would never forget the sound of the waves from that night.

***
http://25.media.tumblr.com/20f3bad294ca513332587d0ab2722c80/tumblr_mtahvuoHHK1s8mrifo1_500.jpg


Chapter 16

I was an early riser. It was a habit I picked growing up, waking early to study before sunrise. I'd been waking up recently to study game coding books.

Normally, I was the first one up wherever I was, which was why it surprised me when I didn't find Henry in bed with me. As tired as he'd made me, my sleep wasn't completely sound. I'd woken up constantly throughout the night. I was restless, but each time when I woke up and found that his arms were still wrapped around me, his legs still tangled with mine, I felt a level of consistency that I wasn't particularly used to and would fall back to sleep.

George never liked to cuddle. I'd always known the reason but wouldn't fully acknowledge why. He'd 'tried' the first few nights, then like in most relationships, he got comfortable and stopped caring. If I knew what a pain it had been for him to cuddle with me, I would have rather he never even bothered.

I sighed, annoyed with myself for allowing George to occupy my thoughts first thing in the morning. I just knew had he not been the only most heartbreaking relationship I'd ever had, I wouldn't be comparing the only other close male interaction I'd ever had to him.

When I tried to sit up, I winced at the surprising twinge in my gut. Oh god. How deep had he gone? A violent blush bloomed on my face as I held my stomach. I tried to stay focused because thinking about him was turning me on again. I sat up and surveyed his room one more time. It was still neat save our articles of clothing strewn across the floor. Thoughts of George were pushed out of my mind as Henry's shirt brought so many memories. I was filled with an inexplicable feeling that made my shoulders hike up as I smiled. I rounded my knees up and hugged them, trying to contain this feeling I couldn't understand--the sight of a t-shirt had never made me so overwhelmingly happy.

Plopping back on the mattress, I retraced everything that happened last night. The words that reigned most in mind were 'I'll take care of you', sending a distinct feeling racing through me. Once again, instead of bringing me unmitigated joy, I was left feeling conflicted. I wanted to believe those words, but this was just a one night stand, right? There were no strings. How could you take care of someone you weren't attached to?

To be fair, we were in the heat of the moment. People said crazy things when they were lost in the throes.

Not wanting to overstay my visit or allow myself to fall for him--I don't know why at that point, I was still telling myself that I hadn't--I dragged myself out of bed, surprised by how sore I was. Jesus. The mild pain brought so many vivid memories I helplessly blushed again.

I started putting my clothes on. Honestly my heart was not in it. I didn't want to leave. As cold and as emotionless as this house could be, I didn't want to leave because it had Henry written all over it. But my mind just wouldn't let me stay. I felt uncomfortable and unsure now that it was no longer dark. I looked down at my body and ignored the feeling of shame that tried to edge its way in. I wouldn't allow it.

Something made me look out at the oceanic view upon the wide windows. The tide was no longer high, the soft waves were still ever so ethereal and beautiful with the most wonderful shade of greenish blue. It was the brightest day with a greyed sky. The weather just seemed so 'Henry'-like, inviting yet still mysterious enough to keep me wanting more. I wanted to spend the day with him but…

Sighing heavily, as I bent to pick up my skirt, I noticed the glass-like digital clock by the nightstand for the first time and nearly screamed. It was a quarter to 11. I couldn't remember the last time I'd woken up this late. I hastily pulled my skirt up to my waist, not even bothering to tuck in my shirt. Snatching my purse from the floor, I grabbed my shoes and hurried out of the room.

As I came down the stairs, holding the glass railing, I could hear Henry moving around while talking, and wondered for a second if someone was around. The person he was speaking to was obviously female. The voice sounded muffled with static, letting me know he was on a phone call with the speaker on. As I descend the steps, it wasn't long before a heavenly aroma struck my nose and made my stomach growl. My mouth watered. Whatever he was cooking, I wanted it. I couldn't stay and eat though, wouldn't that mean something? Then I abruptly remembered that he was the one who dropped me off.

Muttering a curse, I set my shoes on the step, sat on the step, and dug my phone out of my purse. I was trying to mind my own business but the voice from the kitchen piqued my interest too much. When Henry spoke, one just wanted to listen. I was temporarily disrupted from Googling taxi cabs on my phone to listen.

"So you spoke to Mom, yeah?" Henry asked. My toes curled at the rough voice and I blushed, my heart rate quickening as I remembered him swearing to me that I was going to come as he touched me intimately. Oh my god I couldn't do anything without remembering something he did or said. This 'Henry Walker Effect' was going to be a grueling, long one.

"Yes. In Paris. Enjoying her birthday," The female responded.

I was shocked. Is that why he had the number '4' tattooed on him? Today was the 4th. Must've been her birthday. His devotion for his mother was very clear and endearing.

"As she should," Henry murmured.

"You know you're kind of mad about it," the voice teased.

"Not mad just, eh.Wish she were here."

"To meet your new bird?"

I sat there confused, wondering what the hell a bird was. I didn't think Henry had a pet bird and I sure as hell hoped that wasn't in reference to some of his, well, 'birds'.

"She is not my bird…" Henry said, slightly defensive. Damn right he better defend me, if that's who he was referring to.

"You were talking about her an awful lot earlier. What's her name again? Val-Heroine?" The caller went into fits of laughter as I sat there glowering at whoever she was. I guessed that was his sister but I didn't know. How did that Val-Heroine moniker spread so fast among his friends. Ben must have had a pretty big mouth.

"Will you guys let go of that? Her name is Valerie and she's a really nice girl."

I couldn't help grinning.

"Henry, you say everyone is nice. That's just you. Always trying to find the good in people."

"No. Trust me. She is different. She's not the type of girl I normally date."

My heart started racing. Date. Were we dating? Oh god. I don't know. What made him say that? Why was it suddenly so terrifying for me to be dating someone? Well, he didn't say we were dating, so...

"She's not a model, for one."

Because of my rash insecurities, my initial, most natural reaction was to feel offended. Yeah, I was no model, but I had to get a hold of myself.

No thinking the worst, I remembered from therapy. Maybe he literally meant I was not a model. I hadn't checked into Henry's history much with remarkable self control, but judging by his last girlfriend, maybe he did have a knack to date models and the caller's next comment alluded to it.

"I have to see this to believe it."

"I'm not that bad," Henry said laughingly, the sound of a sizzling pan loudening.

"Henry, it's known that you and Ben are notorious for only dating models. You date nothing else but."

"That's all I'm surrounded by," he lamely defended and the laughing tone in his voice revealed that even he knew that was a stretch.

"Right. So how did you meet her?"

"Through Peter. She's a software developer."

The pride in his voice was unexpected and made me feel warm inside. It actually made me feel some pride too.

"Uh, how the hell did you manage that?"

"I haven't managed anything really. We're still getting to know each other. I don't know where it's going. Shit!!"

"What?"

"Oh nothing. I nearly burnt the chicken. I really hope she likes these."

The sound of hope in his voice made me smile and I felt guilty that I was so ready to leave. I thought that's how the rules went? If there were no strings attached and if I didn't want him to think that I wanted anything, I was supposed to leave, right?

But he was cooking for me. I tried not to think of the fact that George had done the same thing after our first night. Then once he'd 'trapped' me, it had all changed... Fuck George. It was July 4th weekend and I was in the vicinity of a man that I was attracted to in every sense of the word. I don't care how irresponsible this was. Hell, it wasn't even irresponsible. We were not making any rash decisions or promises to each other.

I was going to enjoy this weekend. I was going to have Henry Walker as long as he'd let me have him.

"Save some for me too, will yah?" the caller pleaded.

"Of course. 50,000 pounds for one taco."

She groaned in vexation. "Always a bother. Ah well." She suddenly started speaking hurriedly. "I got to go. Check in time. See you in a bit."

"Don't forget to call a cab alright?" Henry asked haltingly and the caller burst out laughing.

"I can't believe this! Mom is going to love this! This is the first time you've actually let one of your many whores come before me. She must have super powers. I have to meet her."

"You will soon. I think you'll like her. And she is not a whore…" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I'll be the judge of that. You say that all the time and that's never the case. Okay they're hurrying me. Love you, bye!"

The call got disconnected and I sat there staring ahead of me, my heart still pounding loud at my ears. What  followed next was Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful World lightly playing. Soon Henry was singing along, his voice contrasting with Mr. Armstrong's strong voice, a gentle smooth sound that made me smile instantly. It shouldn't have been a surprise that Henry had a beautiful voice but it was.

The house no longer felt untouched. I felt very at home and the sound of Henry's voice was very comforting. Without another thought, I stashed my phone back in my purse and picked up my shoes. I went back up the steps to the room and shed my clothes. Spontaneously, I picked up his shirt and wore it. It fit me snugly, as opposed to how it hang off of Henry, and I was reminded of my weight, but as I regarded my reflection in the mirror, I like how I looked in it.

Pulling it down my hips  more, I shyly went back down the stairs, no longer feeling as anxious. A rock song was now playing and I peeked over the wall to sneak looks at Henry. He turned around once to pick up some peppers he'd cut on a cutting board. The movement was so sudden he caught me off guard and saw me. I'm not sure what made me hide back behind the wall. My heart was racing a hundred miles a minute. Why was I so nervous? Like I hadn't already bore myself to him the last night.

"Valerie?"

I jumped and pressed my back against the wall, as if trying to merge with it so that I could hide from him.



TBC.

I was an early riser. It was a habit I picked growing up, waking early to study before sunrise. I'd been waking up recently to study game coding books.

Normally, I was the first one up wherever I was, which was why it surprised me when I didn't find Henry in bed with me. As tired as he'd made me, my sleep wasn't completely sound. I'd woken up constantly throughout the night. I was restless, but each time when I woke up and found that his arms were still wrapped around me, his legs still tangled with mine, I felt a level of consistency that I wasn't particularly used to and would fall back to sleep.

George never liked to cuddle. I'd always known the reason but wouldn't fully acknowledge why. He'd 'tried' the first few nights, then like in most relationships, he got comfortable and stopped caring. If I knew what a pain it had been for him to cuddle with me, I would have rather he never even bothered.

I sighed, annoyed with myself for allowing George to occupy my thoughts first thing in the morning. I just knew had he not been the only most heartbreaking relationship I'd ever had, I wouldn't be comparing the only other close male interaction I'd ever had to him.

When I tried to sit up, I winced at the surprising twinge in my gut. Oh god. How deep had he gone? A violent blush bloomed on my face as I held my stomach. I tried to stay focused because thinking about him was turning me on again. I sat up and surveyed his room one more time. It was still neat save our articles of clothing strewn across the floor. Thoughts of George were pushed out of my mind as Henry's shirt brought so many memories. I was filled with an inexplicable feeling that made my shoulders hike up as I smiled. I rounded my knees up and hugged them, trying to contain this feeling I couldn't understand--the sight of a t-shirt had never made me so overwhelmingly happy.

Plopping back on the mattress, I retraced everything that happened last night. The words that reigned most in mind were 'I'll take care of you', sending a distinct feeling racing through me. Once again, instead of bringing me unmitigated joy, I was left feeling conflicted. I wanted to believe those words, but this was just a one night stand, right? There were no strings. How could you take care of someone you weren't attached to?

To be fair, we were in the heat of the moment. People said crazy things when they were lost in the throes.

Not wanting to overstay my visit or allow myself to fall for him--I don't know why at that point, I was still telling myself that I hadn't--I dragged myself out of bed, surprised by how sore I was. Jesus. The mild pain brought so many vivid memories I helplessly blushed again.

I started putting my clothes on. Honestly my heart was not in it. I didn't want to leave. As cold and as emotionless as this house could be, I didn't want to leave because it had Henry written all over it. But my mind just wouldn't let me stay. I felt uncomfortable and unsure now that it was no longer dark. I looked down at my body and ignored the feeling of shame that tried to edge its way in. I wouldn't allow it.

Something made me look out at the oceanic view upon the wide windows. The tide was no longer high, the soft waves were still ever so ethereal and beautiful with the most wonderful shade of greenish blue. It was the brightest day with a greyed sky. The weather just seemed so 'Henry'-like, inviting yet still mysterious enough to keep me wanting more. I wanted to spend the day with him but…

Sighing heavily, as I bent to pick up my skirt, I noticed the glass-like digital clock by the nightstand for the first time and nearly screamed. It was a quarter to 11. I couldn't remember the last time I'd woken up this late. I hastily pulled my skirt up to my waist, not even bothering to tuck in my shirt. Snatching my purse from the floor, I grabbed my shoes and hurried out of the room.

As I came down the stairs, holding the glass railing, I could hear Henry moving around while talking, and wondered for a second if someone was around. The person he was speaking to was obviously female. The voice sounded muffled with static, letting me know he was on a phone call with the speaker on. As I descend the steps, it wasn't long before a heavenly aroma struck my nose and made my stomach growl. My mouth watered. Whatever he was cooking, I wanted it. I couldn't stay and eat though, wouldn't that mean something? Then I abruptly remembered that he was the one who dropped me off.

Muttering a curse, I set my shoes on the step, sat on the step, and dug my phone out of my purse. I was trying to mind my own business but the voice from the kitchen piqued my interest too much. When Henry spoke, one just wanted to listen. I was temporarily disrupted from Googling taxi cabs on my phone to listen.

"So you spoke to Mom, yeah?" Henry asked. My toes curled at the rough voice and I blushed, my heart rate quickening as I remembered him swearing to me that I was going to come as he touched me intimately. Oh my god I couldn't do anything without remembering something he did or said. This 'Henry Walker Effect' was going to be a grueling, long one.

"Yes. In Paris. Enjoying her birthday," The female responded.

I was shocked. Is that why he had the number '4' tattooed on him? Today was the 4th. Must've been her birthday. His devotion for his mother was very clear and endearing.

"As she should," Henry murmured.

"You know you're kind of mad about it," the voice teased.

"Not mad just, eh.Wish she were here."

"To meet your new bird?"

I sat there confused, wondering what the hell a bird was. I didn't think Henry had a pet bird and I sure as hell hoped that wasn't in reference to some of his, well, 'birds'.

"She is not my bird…" Henry said, slightly defensive. Damn right he better defend me, if that's who he was referring to.

"You were talking about her an awful lot earlier. What's her name again? Val-Heroine?" The caller went into fits of laughter as I sat there glowering at whoever she was. I guessed that was his sister but I didn't know. How did that Val-Heroine moniker spread so fast among his friends. Ben must have had a pretty big mouth.

"Will you guys let go of that? Her name is Valerie and she's a really nice girl."

I couldn't help grinning.

"Henry, you say everyone is nice. That's just you. Always trying to find the good in people."

"No. Trust me. She is different. She's not the type of girl I normally date."

My heart started racing. Date. Were we dating? Oh god. I don't know. What made him say that? Why was it suddenly so terrifying for me to be dating someone? Well, he didn't say we were dating, so...

"She's not a model, for one."

Because of my rash insecurities, my initial, most natural reaction was to feel offended. Yeah, I was no model, but I had to get a hold of myself.

No thinking the worst, I remembered from therapy. Maybe he literally meant I was not a model. I hadn't checked into Henry's history much with remarkable self control, but judging by his last girlfriend, maybe he did have a knack to date models and the caller's next comment alluded to it.

"I have to see this to believe it."

"I'm not that bad," Henry said laughingly, the sound of a sizzling pan loudening.

"Henry, it's known that you and Ben are notorious for only dating models. You date nothing else but."

"That's all I'm surrounded by," he lamely defended and the laughing tone in his voice revealed that even he knew that was a stretch.

"Right. So how did you meet her?"

"Through Peter. She's a software developer."

The pride in his voice was unexpected and made me feel warm inside. It actually made me feel some pride too.

"Uh, how the hell did you manage that?"

"I haven't managed anything really. We're still getting to know each other. I don't know where it's going. Shit!!"

"What?"

"Oh nothing. I nearly burnt the chicken. I really hope she likes these."

The sound of hope in his voice made me smile and I felt guilty that I was so ready to leave. I thought that's how the rules went? If there were no strings attached and if I didn't want him to think that I wanted anything, I was supposed to leave, right?

But he was cooking for me. I tried not to think of the fact that George had done the same thing after our first night. Then once he'd 'trapped' me, it had all changed... Fuck George. It was July 4th weekend and I was in the vicinity of a man that I was attracted to in every sense of the word. I don't care how irresponsible this was. Hell, it wasn't even irresponsible. We were not making any rash decisions or promises to each other.

I was going to enjoy this weekend. I was going to have Henry Walker as long as he'd let me have him.

"Save some for me too, will yah?" the caller pleaded.

"Of course. 50,000 pounds for one taco."

She groaned in vexation. "Always a bother. Ah well." She suddenly started speaking hurriedly. "I got to go. Check in time. See you in a bit."

"Don't forget to call a cab alright?" Henry asked haltingly and the caller burst out laughing.

"I can't believe this! Mom is going to love this! This is the first time you've actually let one of your many whores come before me. She must have super powers. I have to meet her."

"You will soon. I think you'll like her. And she is not a whore…" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"I'll be the judge of that. You say that all the time and that's never the case. Okay they're hurrying me. Love you, bye!"

The call got disconnected and I sat there staring ahead of me, my heart still pounding loud at my ears. What  followed next was Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful World lightly playing. Soon Henry was singing along, his voice contrasting with Mr. Armstrong's strong voice, a gentle smooth sound that made me smile instantly. It shouldn't have been a surprise that Henry had a beautiful voice but it was.

The house no longer felt untouched. I felt very at home and the sound of Henry's voice was very comforting. Without another thought, I stashed my phone back in my purse and picked up my shoes. I went back up the steps to the room and shed my clothes. Spontaneously, I picked up his shirt and wore it. It fit me snugly, as opposed to how it hang off of Henry, and I was reminded of my weight, but as I regarded my reflection in the mirror, I like how I looked in it.

Pulling it down my hips more, I shyly went back down the stairs, no longer feeling as anxious. But it seemed that the more I descended the wooden steps, the more the nervousness seemed to rise back up. A rock song was now playing and I peeked over the wall to sneak looks at Henry.

From my vantage I could see faint, red marks on his back. My face grew warm, thinking that I had been the one who made those marks. A sliver of pride raced through me, as though I'd marked my claim.

He turned around once to pick up some peppers he'd cut on a cutting board. The movement was so abrupt he caught me off guard and saw me. I'm not sure what made me hide back behind the wall. My heart was racing a hundred miles a minute. Why was I so nervous? Like I hadn't already bore myself to him last night.

"Valerie?"

I pressed my back against the wall, as if trying to merge with it so that I could hide from him.

"I spy with my little eye…a beautiful girl wearing my shirt," he teased behind the wall.

I was smiling so hard my cheeks hurt I had to hold them.

When Henry came around the wall and revealed himself, I tensed up and held my breath. He looked better than I remembered and so suddenly my body was throbbing with need and want.

His dark brown hair was messy over his forehead. His jade eyes lit up with appreciation as he ran his eyes down my frame slowly. He licked his bottom lip and bit it when he got to my thighs, which caused me to further try to conceal them by pulling the shirt further and further down.

"Good afternoon, love," he murmured as he snaked his hand around my waist and surprised me when he quickly yanked me closer to him, the sudden movement making my body slap into his. I pulled my shirt up over my mouth and buried my face in his chest when he tried to kiss me. I felt his chuckle on his chest.

"What?" he muttered into my hair before his lips dropped to my ear and he asked silkily. "What's wrong?"

I squirmed, getting turned on by his voice so easily. My legs shifted restlessly with a sudden need to part. I wanted that voice there where he had first pleasured me.

"No…nothing. I just…I need a tooth brush," I said lamely and awkwardly. This whole morning after thing always made me feel weird. With Gregory I remember after our first night I had felt so grand and beautiful and was walking around freely naked the next morning with him praising my body as 'flawed' as it apparently was based on societal standards.

Then gradually I began to feel an inexplicable form of shame because the way George handled my body was so brutal and forced that I couldn't help but feel shamed by it as time went on because of the pain and bruises I'd endure. But…I saw that as love and accepted it as love. It was a very confusing relationship. Why was I thinking about it now? Why did I suddenly want to race from the strong arm that wrapped around me…

Henry pressed a kiss on my ear before pulling back and grabbing my hand, all the while I avoided eye contact. From the side of my eyes I could see him smirking at me. I followed him timidly, suddenly feeling so powerless and foolish and utter skittish. But when I rubbed my thumb  against the back of his fingers, I felt a subtle sense of reassurance.

This made Henry look down at me, his eyes full of life and excitement. I couldn't look at him too long. I'm not sure what was going on with me.

"How are you this morning?" Henry asked with a lopsided smile as he yanked me forward and held me in front of him with his arms protectively wrapped around my waist.

"I'm fine thank you," I said quietly, nervously placing my hands on top of his wrists. My initial intention was to push his hands away from me because of how shameful and confused and ugly I felt. But I just found my hands, though shaky, exploring and admiring the network of veins that ran along his inked arms, getting turned on in the process. Henry didn't help when he pressed kisses on my neck and when he smoothed his hand up my inner thigh then to lift the hem of my shirt. Shying away from his kisses, I slapped his hand from trying to lift the shirt, feeling his chuckles on my back and he nuzzled my neck.

I'll never forget this seemingly insignificant moment as we bypassed the large window on the first floor. I heard the waves in the distance for a second, then looked out the window to see them.

It was such a nice peaceful day, yet I felt confused and riotous inside. My inner demons seemed to be at war with themselves.

I didn't have much time to ruminate because we got to his room quick. I remembered it from when he showed me around last night. It had a navy blue schema that I loved. He let go of me, advanced further into the room to a large open luggage on the floor and soon began marauding through it.

With his warmth away from me I leaned against the wall with my hands clasped behind me. I watched him for a while, admiring the agility of his movements. He was so fit. Really, he had a body that he took well care of and deserved someone who mirrored that image. What did he see in me. How could he look at my body and not gag. His last girlfriends were models for fuck sakes.

How could he look at me with such desire. I'd lost weight but I was by no means skinny. I still had love handles and a small pouch on my stomach. My upper arms were still a bit round and jiggled when I waved. I had cellulite and saggy breasts. My skin was blemished by freckles I could never get rid of. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop these poisonous thoughts. It was bad and annoying I knew but I couldn't stop it.

I closed my eyes, wondering where all these 'morning after' demons had come from. Fuck these 'first world' problems. I had a wonderful guy making me feel like the world and I was taking it for granted by allowing past insecurities to invade me. And then I began to wonder why I even needed a man making me feel amazing in order to actually feel amazing. What did that say about me as a woman? Why the fuck was I over thinking things instead of letting this morning happen naturally and blissfully?

Because I was a real woman with real fucking issues. That's why.

My thoughts must have been running a mile a minute because they made time pass by so fast that Henry seemed to have returned in a matter of a second, holding a small navy blue travel bag.

"Haven't used it," he said as he handed it to me.

I took it from him and evaded his grasp when he tried to get a hold of me, making him laugh. When I made it into the bathroom I closed the door behind me.

Just as I was about to start brushing my teeth with the small travel tooth brush, I saw my reflection in the mirror. My neck had love marks all over it all the way down to my chest. I touched the base of my neck, the spot he knew drove me crazy and flittered my eyes nervously away from my reflection. I couldn't even look at myself long enough because I could now see what he saw last night and instead of feeling as beautiful as he'd made me feel, I felt embarrassed for him.

Fuck. Negative Nancy was working over time this morning.

As I freshened up, I tried not to acknowledge how upset I was feeling about my body now after seeing it in broad daylight. What was wrong with me, I was annoying my damn self. I decided once I got out of the bathroom I would ask if he had any sweatpants I could try and squeeze into. I can't believe I'd shown my legs so boldly the night before. The very legs that had wrapped around him as he fucked me senseless. I blushed at the memory.

There was a battle of wills going on in my mind. One wanted to enjoy this moment but the other wouldn't let me.

I wandered out of the bathroom expecting to be alone while he finished cooking. Henry was seated at the edge of the bed, his torso forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped together. He was waiting for me and he looked so hot doing so.

My heart jumped and I took a step back into the bathroom upon reflex, the feeling of not wanting him to see my body ten times stronger for some reason. I stood in the bathroom, hiding my legs so that only my face could be seen. I was so shameful. So pitiful.

"Hi," I greeted shakily.

Henry eyed me confusedly, slowing his movements, then a grin just as slow began to form on his lips.

"Valerie?" he took another step closer and I stupidly closed the bathroom door, like a timid child. You'd think I hadn't just turned 27 a month ago.

"I'm sorry Henry. I wasn't done using the bathroom. I'll be down for breakfast in a second," I rushed out and closed my eyes regretfully as I lay my head against the wall. Tears began to form behind my eyes because I was acting so strange and so embarrassed by my behavior.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Henry finally asked after moments of silence. I could hear that he was closer now, standing on the other side of the door. He tried to open it but I'd locked the door like the fool I was behaving like.

"I'm fine thank you! I just need to finish freshening up. And could you please find me some sweatpants if you have any? I'm really cold."

I heard him drumming on the door, my shoulders sagging as I knew I'd already ruined any future coupling for the two of us by my immature behavior. That's what not having experience with the opposite sex does to a person. I was so humiliated I could cry.

"Okay, I'll be downstairs if you need me," he said with a sigh and there was no denying the disappointment in his voice. I sighed in frustration and lingered in the bathroom, wondering why I was allowing such negative feelings to invade what was meant to be a nice day.

Minutes later I peeked out of the bathroom and was sadly relieved when I didn't see Henry. Still clinging my shirt as far down my hips as it could go, I timidly went downstairs with a very watchful eye. It was extremely quiet

"Sorry. I couldn't find any other sweatpants."

I jumped when I saw him there and hid behind the pool table upon reflex.

"Oh. It's really cold," I said, hoping he'd hear the plea in my words. With his hands in his pockets, Henry simply cocked his head to one side as he regarded me. When he started walking towards me, I started moving away from him. This brought a predatory smile to Henry's lips.

"Are you hiding from me?"

I lowered my eyes shamefully and tinkered with the hem of his shirt.

"You know I saw everything last night…"

I felt even more exposed hearing him say those words than I did last night when I was naked beneath him.

"It was dark." I grappled for some kind of safety. Him confirming my worst fear wasn't helping. This was a clear case of how not accepting myself would never make someone accepting me the solution.

"I saw everything. Every beautiful thing. From the way your skin flushes when I kiss your neck to the bath mark on your inner thigh."

I didn't know what to do with myself when he said that. I wasn't looking at him but could feel him staring at me. Then I saw him backing away behind that wall that separated the kitchen and the dining room and felt conflicted once again. I heard him tinkering with some pots and pans and knew he was still finishing cooking. I was looking down at the dining table, knowing I was being so stubborn and annoying, deciding maybe it would be better for me to leave instead of making things awkward, when I was suddenly pulled from behind until my back was against a warm, solid body. My heart jumped.

"You can't hide from me forever, you know?" Henry's words came hotly against my ear, followed by his teeth grazing the outer shell of my ear.

As I stood there still reeling from his words, Henry spun me around and before I could protest, his lips met with mine.

And just like that…just like that, I was gone. This was why I was partly trying to stay away, because it was so hard to actually stay away.

"Henry…" I moaned into his mouth as his tongue explored mine in the dexterous way that made me weak. I was clinging onto him to stand upright. We stumbled back until I was leaning against a table as his hands lifted my shirt, sliding up my derriere and squeezing. I moaned, both at the feeling of him touching me and me rubbing on his chest. It's amazing how quickly he turned me on. I wanted him so badly I was burning all over.

"Are you ready for more?" He whispered when he parted from me in a sound kiss. I gnawed at my lip as I began to throb in between my thighs, my face feeling warm as I remembered how amazing he made me feel last night. so amazing I thought I could die. I shook my head as I thought of losing control. I wasn't ready.

Smirking, Henry began to move away from me and I stamped my hands on his shoulders in urgency to stop him. I was nodding eagerly like an addict going through painful withdrawals that needed more. The triumphant grin on Henry's face and the twinkle in his eye made me feel shy. Those little fireworks exploding in me were like little remnants of last night and my body was burning with anticipation for that feeling of him in me again. My insides were aching with longing.

"How would you like me to take you now love…" Henry's voice dropped as he ran his lips hotly over the skin of my jawbone. "Fast." he flicked his tongue quickly over the sore spot on my neck, dropping his voice to a whisper. "Or slow." his tongue languorously snaked up my neck. My legs crumbled and I clung to him to keep from falling.

He was cruel. 

"Whatever you want," I said weakly. Almost stupidly. I couldn't believe how weak I sounded.

"No. You made me chase. You made the rules. You are the prize. You tell me how."

'I am the prize'.

I hated to be so narcissistic. When had life become about being praised for just…being? Since I met Henry Walker.

My legs lost their strength and quaked as the first signs of adrenaline began to flush within me. I think it's because I knew I was going to partake in this. I was excited that I could partake in this. I was excited to be a part of being desired, shamefully so, and I wondered why I had to be ashamed in the first place to be desired. There was no time to wonder too long. I remembered the exquisite feeling of him filling me the previous night and yearned for that feeling again. I was becoming a fiend for it. My toes curled just at the thought of him being in me again.

"H-Hard and rough…" I said, breathless with anticipation. Would it be as good as last night? What if it was a disappointment now? what the hell had I just asked for? I felt foolish some time after I said the words. 'Unattractive' girls like me were not allowed to want sexual exploration. We weren't even supposed to have the 'right' to want sex in any kind of way. That's what we were taught to believe by the world.

I had said the words now though and taking them back would make me a punk. But for a second I wanted to back down and make sure he knew I didn't believe I was deserving of requesting what kind of sex that I wanted. A fucked up individual, I was, I knew. Before I could speak, Henry's eyebrows lifted in amusement and genuine surprise.

"Hard and rough?" the beginnings of a smirk lifted his lips. "...Are you sure?"

I felt myself get wetter. "Hurry before I change my mind…"

"Wait just one second," Henry said and I tried to stop him.

"Protection," he explained and that silenced me. He disappeared down the hallway and I was so wired up, about to go and follow him when he returned. I basically leaped for him and started kissing him maddeningly before I allowed my insecurities to change my mind.

With his hands on my hips, Henry placed distance between us, stuffing his hands in his sweat pant pockets. His lit eyes burned into me and I could feel more moisture pulling at my center because of them.

"Sit on the table with your legs open for me."

Blushing, I timidly did as told, realizing it was the pool table behind me. I felt a bit silly parting my legs but did it anyway. Henry smirked and shook his head, almost rolling his eyes as he took a step forward.

"Wider baby. I want everything."

The way he said the words were so seductive, my legs turned to jelly. It was hard, but blushing deeply with my shoulders lifting coyly, I widened my legs for Henry's viewing pleasure.

"I love that you are such a good girl but you tend to get so naughty for me."

As I looked away from Henry, he neared me and placed his hands on my knees, pushing them further apart as he bit his bottom lip hungrily.

"Hmmm…seems like you're ready," he said smugly.

I held my breath when he touched me with the ball of his fingers.

"All that running when you were getting wet the entire time. Tsk. Tsk. What am I going to do with you?"

Henry asked the question as he quickly  slid two fingers through my my slick folds. I groaned, my legs parting even more as the sensational feeling swept through me. Henry moaned deeply as I coated him and naturally clenched my walls around him while he curled his fingers in a 'come hither' motion inside me. I.

"More Henry please," I begged shamelessly as I stood on my tip toes and moved up and down against his fingers needed him to fill me up again.

"You're so sexy…" Henry muttered from my needy movements, his words surprising me. As though unable to hold on any longer either, Henry pulled his two fingers out of me and held under my knees. He lifted them, making the balls of my feet rest on the edge of the pull table.

"Henry…" I began confusedly and alarmed. Normally I held things in when I didn't like it because I always strove so hard to get people to approve me of something but I couldn't let this pass me by. "I don't like this…" I admitted miserably.

This was too weird. I looked so barbaric and I wasn't that flexible. It made me really uncomfortable and I started to feel a heavy weight in my gut that this wouldn't be as good as last night and that we were leading down to stranger and stranger pastures. Oh god. This had to be 'the thing'. You know someone always had 'the thing' when everything else was seemingly perfect. Fuck.

Henry gave me a placating kiss.

"Trust me…" he said  in a deep voice, husky with want. When he saw how unbecoming I was of this position, he smirked lightly and kissed my chin. "You trust me?"

I contemplated it only for a second but finally nodded.

Henry let go of me for a brief moment to pull down his sweats until his member was freed. As weirded out as I was by this position, it was nice to see his proud, hard flesh again.

My mouth watered at the length, the girth, and the veins. He was beautiful.

Shoving his hands under me to grip my behind, Henry yanked me towards him as his dick disappeared into me in one swift thrust that I didn't see coming, one that made me scream out at the top of my lungs. My head flew back at the sudden impact. The sudden pain and the sudden fullness. But the pain soon felt delicious as pleasure permeated through my being and I threw my head back as the ecstasy possessed me. In this position it was a new experience and he was seated in me in deeply. I forgot about where my feet were or how silly I looked in that position.

Henry Walker knew what he was doing with me.

A moan escaped me at the feeling of being filled so suddenly to the hilt but there was no time to adjust. The way I was positioned gave me a deeper feeling of his dick deep inside of me and it exhilarated me to the point where I was shivering all over. I wanted to savor the feeling, but that was not what I had asked for.  

Henry proved that he was going to fulfill my wish and give me what I asked for by sliding sleekly out of me until his head rested at my entrance and then plunging all the way back in, in one go. I yelped in surprise and pleasure.
 
Before long Henry was pulling out of me again, this time all the way out and then invading my insides again fully and apologetically. I gasped at the sudden invasion, the slight twinge of pain that I was getting accustomed to, and actually feeling the bulge of his vein when he slid into me. I could feel everything, even the fine hairs that whorled his manhood against me when we were fully connected and it turned me on so much. But every time I felt these new discoveries of him, he was out of me all over again.

This second time around was feeling much better than last night, sending shivers all through me. It couldn't possibly get better and better each time, could it?

"Henry…" to the point I sighed his name shakily.

His pace of slamming hard into me and pulling out of me quickened to the point where I was a moaning mess. I was biting my lip and clawing at his shoulders, which had began to perspire as the rest of his hard skin. He felt so good.

I could do this with him all damn day.

Henry hissed as he started fucking me harder, the impact of our bodies making my body shake to the point where I was struggling to hold on to him. The balls of my feet no longer balanced me on the pool table for they were flailing off of the pool table. I had lost my balance, focused too much in the throes of passion.

This man made me feel so good. I nearly started crying from how good he was making me feel. I almost felt stupid from hiding from him this morning. Not almost. I felt stupid.

Even as roughly as he was handling me…I felt safe. I didn't feel like I was being degraded. I didn't feel like I was on the outside looking in. I felt like I was a part of this.

I didn't feel fearful or confused like I did with George…

Suddenly, Henry pushed me away from him and I was surprised as I barely leveraged myself on my elbows. Grabbing my hips, he began to fuck me hard up against the pool table and I screamed out. Him pushing me back had made the position a bit different. The edge of the table was pressing hard into my lower back. There would definitely be bruises later, but for some reason that's what made it all the more exciting He thrust into me again and again with wild abandon, guttural groans exploding out of him. Beads of sweat had formed on his creased brow as he eyed me with deep concentration, holding me like I was the most important thing at the time. His hair was damp now, curved strands over his forehead, with some clamped strands making sweat beads drop from him onto my the skin on my chest and neck. He fucked me mercilessly, hitting a newer spot that granted me no room to try and hoist some kind of control.

But failed. He was owning me with the skillful strokes he thrust into me.

I was screaming out and gripping the table as he fucked me hard--I don't know when I had let go of his shoulders--our bodies slapping shamelessly against one another.

Suddenly he yanked my wrists again, pulling hard to the point where I swear my bones popped but didn't have much time to amass the situation. He looped them around his shoulders and I struggled to hold on. My lifeless arms were dangling around his shoulders as he nibbled my lips and quickly hefted me off of the table, his large hands seeming to span the expanse of my behind as he lifted me off the table.

With him still inside of me and my eyes fluttering closed from the kiss, Henry stumbled us somewhere else. Before I knew it I was leaning up against something while he fucked me up against it. His hands were still on my ass as he continued to pleasure me. It's only then that I realized that Henry Walker was fucking me roughly to the beat of a popular R&B song as the song neared its end. And he wasn't missing a bit either. There was a part where he momentarily stopped fucking me hard to grind his hips into me. I whimpered and held my head as I thought it was about to explode when the intense sensations rocketed through me.

Henry didn't play fair.

The pleasure left me unable to formulate coherent sentences. I was in so much heaven I couldn't communicate with this world.

His thrusts were hard and rough, just like I'd requested. The slippery friction was outstanding, possessing my entire body, and my entire body seemed to be on fire. I held onto him for dear life, one hand clutching his hair, probably uprooting strands from his scalp, the other with my nails dragging down his slippery back from the thin sheen of sweat that coated his skin. The more pain I was obviously causing him, the harder Henry fucked me. And the harder he fucked me, the tighter I closed my walls around.

"Fuck…" he hissed. "Valerie…" Henry murmured in a warning murmur, his eyes drunken with lust. Drunken from me. The surge of power that infiltrated my being was something I had never experienced thus far in my life.

I bit my lip to stop the impending cocky smirk. Oh god this had never happened before. I had never felt cocky during sex. I closed my eyes as the pleasure assuaged me. Completely frenzied and in the moment, I leveraged my weight of my upper back on the wall and started trying to meet his thrusts, lowering when he thrust up and lifting when he pulled out from my tight fit, closing my walls around him as I lifted.

"Shit!" he swore, a mixture between amazement and surprise, and I could have sworn he shuddered for a second. Then instead of holding my behind, he wrapped his strong muscular arms around me tighter and slammed into me harder, making my body jolt as the force of his body met with mine.

"Oh…" I cried out, arching into him.

Give and take. Take and give. That was the game.

He had brought out a whole other side of me…

When he pushed harder into me, I gritted my teeth as multiple sensations bombarded me. From the sharp pain on my shoulder as he bit down hard while while he prepared to come, to the upward, direct, speedy thrusts into me while he prepared his release, to his arms bound around my waist to still me so that he could thrust into me to the hilt.

A small cry shot up my throat as he held me tightly, almost painfully, his entire body freezing and his teeth nipping hard into my shoulder as he came.

I shook all over as I came too, my walls spastic around his thick member in me, just from the thought alone of what we'd just done, and I collapsed on him, my head heavily resting on his shoulder.

Every limb on mine was weak as I breathed heavily on him.

I had never felt so satisfied before in my life.

I was breathing heavily when it was all over, every nerve ending of my body still tingling. My feelings were unreal.

When Henry made to pull out of me, I closed my legs around him and opened my eyes, lifting my head that felt like tons to shoot accusing eyes at him. Henry grinned, his dimples torturing me, as he leaned over me to administer light kisses on my lips. I smiled, blushing so hard I looked away as I stopped the kiss

"You are far more dangerous than I initially thought…" he muttered, eyes brimming with amusement as he looked down at me. I hated how shy he made me and buried my face in his neck, making him laugh into my hair.

When Henry suddenly tightened his hold around me and moved us to a lazy boy right next to us, our bodies still connected, reality hit hard.

"So what do you want to do today?" he asked as he sat across from me.

I got hid my fearful expression by laying my head on his chest. Fuck. This was not cute at all. Don't think I was one of those girls that thought the whole coy act was cute. But I couldn't help the shyness that infiltrated me. Henry's fingers immediately speared into my hair and massaged my scalp. I pressed small kisses along his tattooed chest, eying the artwork curiously as I tried not to make a big deal over the fact that he was the first man that had ever lifted me like so. My heart was racing too fast. Something that shouldn't have been a big deal to most was a big deal to me. All the jokes, comments made when I was a kid over the strife of having to pick me up were niggling my brain randomly. The only person that had ever picked me up without complaints was my father, and I couldn't blame anyone els really. I was a huge child.

I lay lazily on him for a while, not wanting to move a muscle. I could lay on him forever. Finally, I struggled to lift my head, glancing at him through messy curly strands.

"Fireworks," I said simply, still in a daze. Henry laughed at my difficulty to speak, rubbing my bottom lip. There was a look of utter satiation in his eyes.

"Sorted. I know a place."

"I want to buy some July 4th clothes," I blurted out.

"Why don't you just wear my clothes?"

He asked this as he fingered the hem of his shirt, which I had worn the entire time he fucked me hard and fast.

The thought of a guy offering me their clothes made me blush. I hated how much he made me blush. Though a part of me knew I couldn't fit anything he had.

"I want some high waisted shorts so bad," I said shyly, almost self-cautiously because I knew I may have not had the waist for them. To cover up my insecurities before they could show, I continued humorously. "Unless of course you have some. You did have that flowery apron.”

His dimple deepened as he grinned and tugged me closer to him. “But of course.” After I rolled my eyes, feeling him watching my every move. My eyes shyly flittered away as I somehow managed to stand up on wobbly legs. Henry bit a smirk at the work he'd obviously done and I rolled my eyes at him. Men and their egos. I tried to keep our conversation on track.

"I've never had the confidence to wear them before but I want to try them now."

"Oh yeah we can definitely get you into those." Henry murmured suggestively as he eyed my thighs and made to get up, moving closer to me. Laughing, I sprung backwards to attempt evading his grasp, but his lengthy arms and legs closed the distance between us when he stood up and he coiled the arm tightly around my lower back. His lips were quickly on me, nibbling hungrily.

Henry began dotting his kisses to my cheek, jaw, and then my neck. My knees got weak as he sought my spot and he began to squeeze my thighs. Gripping his shirt because of the strong need that swept through me, I began to squirm.

"Hmmm. I love it when you do that," he murmured against my skin, his tongue lashing out to swipe over me to make me squirm again. I bit my lip to swallow a groan.

"Henry, wait," I moaned, writhing against him. "We can't do it again. I have to get ready."

Henry teased me by stilling my hips, his fingers digging into my supple flesh. He took the bruised skin on my neck between his teeth, biting enough to make me moan, then reluctantly, slowly released me. My legs were almost as wobbly as wet noodles. His eyes burned  into me as he watched me try to gain back my control. A small smirk curled his lips when he saw visible evidence of how easily it was for him to make me weak and disorient me.

I made a retaliating face at him which he poked his tongue out to me for as I rounded him to go and shower.

I was walking away with a huge smile on my face feeling lucky, happy, inspired, confident.

And scared.

As I walked away Henry caught a hold of my hand and pulled me back.

"Lets have some tacos first. Then we can shower. Together."