Transcendence by DarkandLovely
Summary:

The prison had been confined within their hearts but when... when would they truly be set free?

 

 

 

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Transcendence is a original work by CM and is intended for publication so please do not upload, distort, edit, or remove and place on any other site. Respectfully yours, thank you. 


Categories: Original Fiction Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Comedy , Drama, Erotica, Friendship, Inspirational, Romance, Suspense
Story Status: Active
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Original Characters, Racism, Rape, Spritualism, Strong Sexual Content , Un-betaed , Work in Progress
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 49 Completed: Yes Word count: 291391 Read: 257550 Published: September 13 2015 Updated: May 01 2020

1. introduction by DarkandLovely

2. characters* by DarkandLovely

3. That Girl by DarkandLovely

4. That Boy by DarkandLovely

5. Black Coffee by DarkandLovely

6. The Past by DarkandLovely

7. Search by DarkandLovely

8. Conclusion by DarkandLovely

9. Found by DarkandLovely

10. You by DarkandLovely

11. Leeway (Slow but Sure) by DarkandLovely

12. Cocoon by DarkandLovely

13. Visor by DarkandLovely

14. Revelation by DarkandLovely

15. Process by DarkandLovely

16. Soul Searching by DarkandLovely

17. Wading by DarkandLovely

18. Him by DarkandLovely

19. Clean by DarkandLovely

20. Her by DarkandLovely

21. Many by DarkandLovely

22. Genesis by DarkandLovely

23. New by DarkandLovely

24. Reunited by DarkandLovely

25. Step (One At A Time) by DarkandLovely

26. Explosion by DarkandLovely

27. Waves by DarkandLovely

28. Promise by DarkandLovely

29. Dense Blue by DarkandLovely

30. Bonnie and Clyde by DarkandLovely

31. Blue Wine by DarkandLovely

32. Everything Above by DarkandLovely

33. Homecoming by DarkandLovely

34. Saikai Suru by DarkandLovely

35. Fruition by DarkandLovely

36. Inflorescence by DarkandLovely

37. Entr'acte by DarkandLovely

38. Matrimony by DarkandLovely

39. Rivet by DarkandLovely

40. The So.u.nd by DarkandLovely

41. A/N: Reflection by DarkandLovely

42. Au Revoir by DarkandLovely

43. Return by DarkandLovely

44. Nucleus by DarkandLovely

45. Harvest by DarkandLovely

46. Mother(Okaasan) by DarkandLovely

47. Transcendence by DarkandLovely

48. Floret by DarkandLovely

49. Shin Sei Katsu by DarkandLovely

introduction by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

HI GUYSSSSS!!!! WOOHOO! Part two of Accordance! :D <3 I AM EXCITED TO BEGIN THIS JOURNEY WITH YOU ALL! hehe! I have a new poster, pictures and teasers for you all! Sure to be inspiring, life changing and absolutely amazing I pray that this takes OFF <3 Iwase Hiroto and Ebere Marshall are very dear to my heart and I am blessed that I have been able to bring them to life within the pages of Accordance. I pray that you fall deeper in love with them and their story as it will unfold here. Thank you to all who read Accordance and commented! Now, let's begin Transcending!  

 

Here is the official poster: 

 

** This story will not make sense without first reading Accordance, the 1st in this series. If you have not read it, please take time to read. I hope you enjoy it! As the story goes, now Rae and Hiroto are 28 years old, living very different lives. It seems as though the choices made out of pain have solidified and succeeded but when oh when will they truly be set free? When will they come back to each other and be able to love without contraint or problem? Soon my friends. :) Here are some teasers! Please enjoy them guys! Leave your thoughts below! <3 

 

 

Sakaguchi Kentaro as Iwase Hiroto (28) 

 

 

Natasha Kalos as Ebere Marshall (28) 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here are the teasers: :D 

 

 

TEASER 1: 

 

    The wind blew around them, the chilly air freezing her skin. But, it was nothing compared to the coldness that had risen up from her heart. 

    “It’s you.” The scent of a man so familiar drifted into her nostrils and she tightened her fists, wanting to despise it… to despise him. 

    “Hello beautiful.” She brought her eyes up to his. Her throat tightened. God, it was him. The man… who had hurt her beyond recognition. The man… the man who her heart still beat for. 

    “What are you doing here?” He licked his lips and cleared his throat. The expression on his face looked painful, as if it hurt him to even talk. 

    “I came to talk to you-” 

    “I don’t want to talk to you.” She replied quickly, cutting him off. He smiled sadly. 

    “I knew you wouldn’t.” 

    “Why’d you waste your time then Hiroto?” He sighed, his breath curling into a thin cloud of vapor. 

    “I was going to try and try again until you finally acquiesced.” She turned away from him, her hands shaking. 

    “I’m going home.” 

    “Let me walk you.” 

    “No. If you know where I live, you’ll never leave me alone.” There was silence. 

    “Tell me something Hiroto.” 

    “Anything.” 

    “Was it worth it?” The time seemed to expand and it took forever until he finally spoke.     

    “No.” His answer was simple but held so much suffering. 

    “Hm.” She heard him step closer until his arms came around her, trapping her. Time ago, she would have melted in his captivity. But now… now it just hurt her. She reached up to pull him off of her but he tightened his grip. 

    “Ebere…” 

    “Let go of me.” 

    “Tell me something.” She felt unasked for tears well up in her eyes. She wanted to hate him. She had tried for so long. And she thought she finally had succeeded. But he had made her shatter into a million pieces with just a single glance. All these years later. Still, he had control of her. She hated it. 

    “What?” Her tone hard. 

    “Did you stop loving me?” His calm quiet question stung her and she gasped out loud. She gripped the sleeves of his coat. 

    “Hiroto…” He pressed his face into her hair and sighed loudly. 

    “It does not matter much to me.” 

    “Then why did you ask?” His warmth threatened to overwhelm her. 

    “Why? I suppose I wanted to hear it from your lips. That’s all.” He let his arms slide away from her and slowly, he took his body heat away too. She stood there shivering, clenching her teeth. 

    “Not a day went by that I did not miss you or want you. I realize that I am a stupid stupid man. I let you slip through my fingers and walk away from me… I chose to be silent. I chose to hurt you. For that, I am not sure I want you to forgive me. But, I will ask that you let me see you again. Even if it is just a glance.” The tears slid down her cheeks, cold as ice. Turning, she faced him. He watched as the tears fell, his fists tightening up. 

    “You are a fool Iwase Hiroto. A damn fool.” He hung his head, letting her insult wash over him. 

    “Yes. I am.” His voice was quiet, barely audible. 

    “You don’t deserve to even see me. Talk to me. Damn sure not to touch me.” 

    “All true.” 

    “Hiroto.” He lifted his head. 

    “Stand up straight damn it.” He blinked, his eyes watery. 

    “You’re not a little boy anymore. Stop standing like you want pity.” He stood up straight, his eyes growing hard with resolve. 

    “You’re right about that. I’m not a little boy anymore. I don’t stand here wanting pity from you Rae. I stand here because I want you.” 

    “It’s too late for that.” 

    “I’m prepared to wait.” His voice overflowing with pain sounded much stronger. 

    “Don’t bother.” She started to walk past him. 

    “Goodbye Hiroto.” His arm reached out and grabbed her and he pulled her against him, knocking the breath from her. 

    “Don’t say that to me. Anything but that.” She looked up at him, eyes wide. His fingers gently stroked her cheek. 

    “I do not expect you to forgive me so quickly. I am prepared for that. To wait. But, let me tell you one thing. I’m not going anywhere. Not until your heart heals and once again you let me dwell there. I let you go before. I will not make that mistake a second time. However long it takes Rae, I’ll wait for you.” He gently ran his thumb across her bottom lip, 

    “I love you.” He let her go and she stood there, still. Words didn’t exist as she watched him walk away from her. Deep within the recesses of her heart, she cried out for him. Deep within, her heart answered him. I love you too. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TEASER 2: 

    Lips crashed against each other, the hunger that existed only growing stronger. There were too many things in the room, too much in the way. Her hands pulled him closer, her breath becoming one with his. So dizzy… the room spun like a top and she found them on the floor, her back against the hardwood. Her chest lifted and fell against his, her heart beat fast. She looked up at him, her fingers fisting his shirt. His eyes spoke loudly to her before his lips found hers again. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Her mind was cloudy and the only thing she wanted was him. Despite everything within her telling her no. He lifted her up into his arms and she wrapped her legs around him as he stood. Her fingers tightened in his silky strands and she breathed against his Adam’s apple until she heard a crash. Glancing down, she saw plates and silverware scattered on the floor. He’d placed her down on her short dining room table. 

    “Hiroto…” He didn’t say anything, just gripped the linen under them in his fingers. His cheeks were flushed pink, his lips bruised a rosy red, eyes burning with desire. 

    “This is a mistake.” His voice was low and throaty. She gripped his shoulders. His hands shoved some more plates off of the table and leaned her back against the table linen. Fingers slid up the exposed skin of her thigh, bringing it higher up his waist. 

    “We’ve had plenty of mistakes.” She replied, her voice hushed. 

    “All ones I don’t regret.” She pressed her heel against his bottom, pushing him against her. He took a shaky breath against her shoulder. 

    “Rae…” He breathed against the tender skin. 

    “Hm?”

    “We can’t.” It was accurate to say they shouldn’t. It had risen until it exploded and she wasn’t sure when the bare skin of his back called her fingers so much. She wanted to let the desire between them bathe them until the dream of becoming one was made reality. She had fought but sometimes, she just grew tired. 

    “I know. But I want to…” He reached up and tangled his fingers in her hair. 

    “I wonder if this is a dream… if I open my eyes will you disappear?” She leaned up and kissed him. 

    “This is not a dream Hiroto. I’m real. Can’t you feel me?” How shameless… she was in this moment. She should be ashamed of herself, moving her hips against his in the way that she did. But… she couldn’t bring herself to care. He groaned and bit his lip, digging his fingers into her hips. 

    “I miss you… I need you…” She whispered, causing him to groan again, a low soft rumble. He slid a hand down to grip her waist, her legs spread slightly on the table. 

    “I want to take it away… this need.” 

    “Please.” He reached up to caress her cheek. 

    “We’ve played quite enough games Ebere. I am not in a playing type of mood this time….” She gripped his wrist. 

    “I’m not either.” He leaned down over her and she felt his lips press against hers. His hand on her waist pulled her down, closer until she felt him firm and warm against her inner thigh. She gasped against his lips. The gaze behind his sleepy lids, the way he seemed to be fighting, the messy strands of hair…all of it aroused her so much. 

    “I’m going to get up. I’m going to leave.” 

    “No… stay…” 

    “Staying will only make things worse. Believe me Ebere. I want to. I want to give you what your body is asking me for. But I won’t.” He let his hands slide away from her and he stiffly stood back, his fingers tight in a fist. She swallowed thickly and sat up, her legs closing. 

    “Hiroto-”

    “We’re not in our right mind.” 

    “I beg to differ.” 

    “You have someone right?” 

    “Yes but-”

    “No buts. I have someone too. We must respect this… for now.” He turned away from her. She got up and ran after him, wrapping her arms around his waist. 

    “Roto…” 

    “Even if I do not love her, it remains that we are in a relationship. Allow me to handle that first. Work out whatever you need to with your boyfriend. I won’t touch you again. Not until I can call you mine for sure. Only when you are mine and mine alone. That is when I will let my body speak what my heart wants to say.” She slowly let go of him. He took a breath. 

    “When you are my wife… when your body belongs to me…we won’t have to wait. Or fight.” He turned around and smiled softly. He placed a hand on top of her head and gently ruffled her hair. 

    “That much hasn’t changed about you.” 

    “What do you mean?” A cheeky grin slid across his lips. 

    “You throwing yourself at me. My, you really want what’s in my pants hm?” She sucked her teeth and shoved him. 

    “Shut up Hiroto.” 

    “Ah you didn’t say no.”     

    “So… what if I do?” He chuckled lowly and pulled her against him. His hand slid down her body and playfully teased the skin of her inner thigh, bringing a gasp to her. 

    “I want you right here too. I want to touch you here and maybe… maybe even taste you here.”  Her cheeks grew hot as a summer’s day and she gripped his wrist. How easy it would be for him to just go for it. She kinda wanted him to. He was so close but so far away. 

    “Hi-Hiroto…” 

    “Someday… someday I will.” He pulled his fingers away from her and slid them into his pockets. 

    “But, for now… for now… I will act like I should.” 

    “That’s impossible for you.” 

    “Not so. I’ve been good this far haven’t I?” He playfully winked at her and she rolled her eyes. 

    “Get out Hiroto.” He laughed before grabbing his coat. 

    “I thought you wanted me to stay.” She pushed his arm. 

    “Not no mo. Go.” He poked her forehead. 

    “I’m going.” She huffed as she tried to push him out the door. He walked slowly, nearly cackling at her feeble attempts before finally making it outside. She gripped her skirt and pushed it down, covering her thighs. 

    “Good night you jerk.” He laughed and shook his head. 

    “Good night beautiful.” As she watched him get into his car and drive away, she sighed. She’d missed their playful banter, his cheeky grins and laughter. Even still after 10 years, he managed to make her act like a blushing little school girl. Smiling to herself, she bit her lip. She was grateful at least one of them had a right mind. She was not a hormonal teenager anymore but whenever he was around, she went crazy. She needed to get her whole entire life. That man there… while she still had a ways to go in forgiving him… he was melting the ice she had built around her heart. Slowly, it was turning into the forgiveness they both wanted and needed. If she kept herself straight… maybe they could plant a new seed and start over. She think she wanted that. To start over. With the only man she think she would ever love.

 

 

 

 

End Notes:

A/N: hehe well? I hope you guys enjoy them! :) I have started to write of course but for some reason it is not flowing the way I want. Perhaps now with some teasers, I will know how to begin. I will see you all soon! Take care and God bless! 

 

Sunray into the sky, bright and yellow~ <3 

D&L 

characters* by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

Hey y'all. I wanted to use this chapter to introduce the characters :) 

 

As you know, there is Rae and Hiroto. 

 

But I wanted to include members of both families. 

The Marshalls: 

 

Kendrick Marshall (Rae's father) 

 

Shaundra Marshall (Rae's Mother) 

 

Tre Marshall (Rae's brother) 

 

Amee Marshall (Rae's sister) 

 

Adonis Bosso as Kwasame Jones (Rae's boyfriend) 

 

 

Rae's boss: Antonio Rossi 

 

 

 

The Iwase family 

 

Ken Watanabe as Iwase Shou (Hiroto's father) 

Ichiko Hashimoto as Iwase Eri (Hiroto's mother) 

Noa "Kiko" Miyamae (Hiroto's girlfriend) 

Yuzuru Hanyu as Nakamura Tobu

 


End Notes:

Thank you! You are free to imagine them how you wish! I just wanted to give a visual of them as they are in my mind :) <3 I am working on chapter three now :) <3 Take care and God bless! <3 

That Girl by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

First chapter here we go! Wheee~

 

 

 

 

 

 

A girl sat in a chair bruised and thin. She scooped food up with shaky fingers and stuffed her mouth full, eyes voraciously searching for more. 


    “Shaundra.” A voice called out into the room. The girl disregard what was said and shoved all she could into her mouth, barely swallowing.  


    “Not another one.” 


    “Look at her. Poor thing. She must have been starved for days.” 


    “Where did you find her?” There was silence. 


    “Did you bring her in here from outside?” More silence. Then, 


    “Slow down honey. The table ain’t going anywhere.” At that, finally the girl looked up to meet the woman’s eyes. Wild almost feral into calm but sad. 


    “Shaundra,”


    “She’s staying here.”


    “Says who?”


    “Says me.”


    “This is my house.”


    “It is our house. I pay half the bills and keep my share. Last time I checked that ring on my finger gave me equal amount of say.” There was quiet. 


    “Look at her Kendrick. We can’t let her go back out there.” A long heavy sigh. 


    “Fine. She’ll sleep in our guest room. But only after she’s clean.”


    “But of course.” 


 


***** 


 


    That girl had showered and slept on a bed that felt like clouds. She had watched all the dirt melt off of her body and turn the water a rich dark color. She had sat still as fingers gently combed through her water softened matts and naps and when the comb ran through smooth, the fingers plaited her hair. She fell into the pillows and smelled the soft clean scent of freshly washed laundry. All the while stroking her belly. All the while eying the window, wondering. Fearing. Thinking it all was too good to be true and soon he would come through the door and pull her back out into the cold dark world. But he never came. One night turned into two. Two turned into four. Four into a month. Soon, she had been slowly accepted into the family of people who had kindly given her a bed and bath and plenty of food. That girl had gone through so much and met so many people. Traveled the world. Fell in love. That girl had had her heart broken brutally. And now… now that girl had grown up into a woman. 


***** 


    “Next stop: Bronx.” Fingers tightly held the handle as the train came to a stop. Letting go, she stepped into the open air and sighed. It was spring time and the birds chirped happily. All around her was green. Vitality and life, rebirth and regrowth. She had been the color of blue for so long but finally, she felt as if she too could be the color of green. In the midst of her thoughts, her phone rang. Plucking it out of her purse, she answered. 


    “Nug?” She sucked her teeth. Her brother.  


    “What’s up?” 


    “We still on for dinner with Moms later on tonight?” 


    “Yeah not unless anything changed.” 


    “Nah. Just wanted to make sure we were still on. You know how you be gettin busy randomly.” She chuckled. 


    “Yeah, thank my boss for that.” 


    “How is that dude anyway? Still tryna get with you?” 


    “As ever.” 


    “Do you need me to come up there and talk to him?” She laughed. 


    “Hold your horses. I’m good.” Tre snorted. 


    “Nah. Ion know… I wanna keep an eye on him.”


    “You mean lowkey creep.” Tre laughed. 


    “Well.” Sucking her teeth, she continued to walk. 


    “I got my boss. Don’t you worry bout that.” 


    “I can’t help but worry. Dude act kinda fast with the flowers and ish.” 


    “I can handle it. Besides, I’m not a baby anymore Tremaine. I’m 28 years old. I think your time as baby sitter has long since passed.” Tre snort again. 


    “It ain’t ever gon be over. You always gon be my baby sister.”  


    “I know. I can’t ever get rid of you huh?” He laughed. 


    “Nope.” She playfully rolled her eyes. 


    “Well guard dog, I’m gon to work.”  He burst out laughing. 


    “Guard dog… that’s cold. Well okay.”


    “Was there somethin else you wanted while you trailin me?”


    “Nah. We good.” 


    “Aiight then. Bye Tre.”


    “Bye Nugget.”     She smiled to herself. Tre was such a good brother even if he got on her last nerve. She stepped into her place of work and smiled at the co workers. Finally, it seemed as if life was coming around full circle. It had taken quite a while and she had been hurt for so long. But now, she felt she finally could breathe and return to normalcy. There were some things about her past that she still had to forgive… but for the most part… she was happy. She think she deserved happiness more than anything. On her way to the elevator, her phone rang again. Smiling at the name on the screen, she bit her lip and answered. 


    “Hello?” 


    “Where are you?” 


    “Where are you?” She heard a small chuckle on the phone. 


    “I believe I am about to come to your floor in a moment. Will you be there?” 


    “I think so.” 


    “Well, I’ll see you in a moment.” 


    “How do you know I’m even in the building?” 


    “I saw your car in the parking lot.”


    “So you creepin…”


    “It wasn’t creepin.”


    “Mm. Well, I’m getting on now.”


    “All right.” The caller hung up and she felt her cheeks get hot. She sighed and couldn’t keep the smile off of her face. She anticipated the minute the elevator stopped and as soon as it hit her floor, she gripped the bar inside the elevator. The doors slowly opened and she peeked out only to see no one there. Hm… She walked out into the hallway and heard a clearing of the throat. She smiled, turning to see him standing there. Him. Kwasame Jones. Her baby. The company’s very own janitor. And oh how good he looked in the long grey overalls, the shape hugging the hard earned muscles of his body. Perhaps her treat was the button or two that was undone, showing the crisp white crew neck shirt and a peek of his neck. 


    “Hello there handsome.” He smiled and uncrossed his arms. 


    “Hello my Queen.” 


    “Did you make it here okay?” He nodded, a handsome smile on his face. 


    “Sure did. I wasn’t sure I was going to catch you.” His British-accented voice melted every syllable like a flame. 


    “I am here early.”


    “I don’t work this floor you know. I had to make up an excuse to even come up here.” She pulled him closer and pressed her cheek against his bicep. 


    “I’m sorry for makin things complicated.”  She sighed as he wrapped his arms around her. 


    “Says who? Besides, it’s worth it. Every time I can see even a peek of you my day is better.” 


    “Kwasa…” 


    “Rae, don’t worry about it. This will be enough for now. I’ll have to see you later.” She tightened her grip on him. 


    “I don’t wanna let you go teddy.” He smiled against her and pressed his lips against her temple. 


    “Come on little lady. It won’t be too bad. We’ll see each other before you know it.” She let him go and he lifted her face in his strong rough hands. 


    “I love you.” He didn’t wait for her answer and gently kissed her lips before letting her go. 


    “Have a great day.” She waved as he slowly made his way back into the elevator. 


    “You too. I’ll see you later teddy.” She sighed and turned to come to two big glass doors. Stepping inside, she smiled at the co-workers and office assistants who had come in early. 


    “Morning y’all.” 


    “Mornin Rae.” 


    “Why you here so early? You come to see your janitor?” Rae rolled her eyes. 


    “Was it that obvious?” One of her co-workers Shelley grinned and peeked out from her cubicle. 


    “Is it obvious? Girl you practically run to him every time we pass him on the 5th floor. I know you wanna go that way just to get a glance at him.” She sucked her teeth. 


    “I do not.” 


    “Ebere, come on girl. You’ve been so stubborn with that man. He totally has the hots for you.” 


    “He better.” She grumbled under her breath but cleared her throat. 


    “Okay we aren’t going to talk about my love life this morning. Where is Mr. Rossi? Has he arrived yet?” Shelley nodded. 


    “You know he arrives earliest than everyone. Probably has his morning coffee already.” She nodded and sent a gentle smile her way before smoothing down her skirt. Today, this day, she was going to ask for a promotion. She felt it was due time. Overdue really. She had worked as an intern for his business firm straight out of undergrad and slowly but surely worked her way up to being senior executive assistant. She was almost like his right hand woman and held him and everything about this place together. She wasn’t sure how many years more he was going to expect her to be in this position but this was going to be her fourth year. Shelley smiled as she looked her over. 


    “Going in for the ask?” 


    “Yeah.” 


    “I’m waiting for you to pop up in one of our business meetings. Just walk in there and steal the show.” She laughed and ran fingers through her hair nervously. 


    “That will be soon I hope if this all goes well.” 


    “It will! You’ve been an Exec Assistant for so long Rae. You deserve it out of all of us.” She looked up at her. 


    “Shelley, you work harder than any of us. If anybody deserves a promotion, you do.” Shelley waved her hands. 


    “We both work harder than anybody in this whole place. But I have some time left. You deserve it because you have such a big dream. I want to see you succeed Rae.” She blushed, her cheeks warm and bit her lip. 


    “Thank you Shells. Truly.”  Shelley stuck up her thumb and winked. 


    “Go get em girl. You got this thing.” She took a deep breath and turned around, standing up straight. Shoulders back. Head high. It was time to go get her dream. 


 


**** 


    “Ms. Marshall, you may come in. He will see you now.” She got up from the plush chair in his lobby. Smoothing down her clothes, she calmly followed the receptionist back until she came to his office. Seeing him brought a polite smile to her face. He thanked the receptionist. 


    “Well hello there Ms. Marshall.” 


    “Hello Mr. Rossi.” 


    “Have you completed those assignments I sent you?” She nodded. 


    “Sure did. I always do.” 


    “So very well. Thank you.” 


    “It isn’t a problem.” He eyed her appearance, a small smirk coming to his face. 


    “You look especially beautiful today. Were you trying to impress me?” She rolled her eyes. 


    “May I speak informally with you Mr. Rossi?”  He playfully grinned and steepled his fingers together. 


    “Sure. We’ve known each other for a considerable amount of time. But only this one time.” 


    “Of course.” He leaned back into his executive chair. 


    “What is the matter?” She eyed him straight and direct. 


    “I ain’t come here to play games with you.” 


    “What game?” 


    “The one where we go back and forth about me letting you take me out on a date.” He chuckled. 


    “You still will not accept my offer?”


    “What exactly are you offering me Antonio?”


    “I can offer you seven or possibly even eight figures.” 


    “Ah. Why have you not thought of this offer before this morning?” 


    “It is perhaps a selfish reason.” 


    “Which is?” 


    “To be perfectly honest with you Ebere, I don’t want to promote you because I don’t want to lose you in the position you are in now.” She pursed her lips. 


    “You must like me in the position I’m in very much Antonio.” He chuckled, a faint redness spreading across his cheeks. 


    “I do. I like having you where I have access to you at all times. The thought of losing that is distressing to me.” 


    “So you don’t want to promote me because you like having control over me? Am I getting that right?” His dark eyes finally flickered up to hers, having been aligned with his fingers until then. 


    “Selfish I know. But you are a damn good employee. If it were not for you, I would be a mess. Both in business and otherwise. You deserve all of the good things I can give to you.” 


    “What is it you want? Surely, you haven’t pursued me outside of work for four years for nothing. There has to be something you want.” His gaze didn’t drop. 


    “I am aware that you are fraternizing with the help.” At that, she stiffened. 


    “I’m sorry?” He scoffed. 


    “Come now Ebere. You deserve so much more. Much better than a dirty janitor. You are a woman who should be pampered, clothed in gold. treated like the royalty you are. How can that man give you that?” 


    “How dare you!  How the hell do you know what it is I want? Do you think I can be bought with money and material things?”  His gaze was serious and intense and if she were not angry, it would have made her slightly uncomfortable. 


    “I do not think you understand what it is I am saying to you Ebere.” 


    “Spell it out for me cause clearly I must have missed it in between your flowers, chocolates and arrogant attitude.” He sighed and let his hands fall on the desk. 


    “I am in love with you.” She blinked, not quite sure if she was hearing correctly. Maybe she was dreaming and hadn’t woke up yet. She stayed still and blinked over and over, silent. Where was this coming from and why so sudden?


    “Have you heard me?” Quiet for the longest until she could provide the best answer she could come up with, 


    “You’ve fallen in love with the wrong woman.” 


    “Have I? Can not one night away from the office with me change your mind? Perhaps if you see me in normal clothes and house slippers you will have a change of heart.” Even in the seriousness of the situation, the corner of her mouth twitched in a smile. That would be quite the picture indeed. She wasn’t sure if she could mentally handle not seeing him in his business suit and quite unconventional messy bun. He was a young business owner and in that youth reflected quite liberal attitudes when it came to his appearance and business affairs. But for the most part, he was a genius and his business was and would continue to be very successful for many years to come. In her years of working for him, she had begun to know the personal side of who he was, as much as she tried not to marry business with personal. It wasn’t something either of them had expected but in the time together, she could call him a friend. However awkward it was to be friends with your boss. But even so, the only thing she could give him was her friendship and professional service. That was all she wanted to give him. 


    “Antonio, I have a relationship. Regardless of if you approve of him or even like him is not a concern of mine. He makes me happy and I care about him very much. As for your offer, if you want anything other than my friendship I cannot do it. If you desire to force me to accept your offer then I will not work here any longer. I understand that I am being very bold but I have stood by you, lifted you up when those around you sought to destroy you and helped you pick up the pieces of your life again. The truth is it has nothing to do with my boyfriend really. You don’t want to lose me at all. You need me. That is fine. I will be what you need as long as you understand that I will not jeopardize my relationship with my significant other. Ours is a friendship I treasure Antonio. Please do not make me choose.” 


    The man before her had hung his head and it looked so uncharacteristic of him. He always held his head up high, never defeated. She didn’t recognize him. He slid up and ran fingers through his hair. 


    “Rae…” He slowly stood up from his desk and came towards her. 


    “What are you-?”


    “This will be the only time you will see me like this…” He pulled her against him in a hug and she stood still. 


    “You’re an amazing woman.” 


    “Give me your word Antonio.” 


    “For?” 


    “Give your word that you will not do anything to harm Mr. Jones.” His arms tightened around her shoulders. 


    “Harm him?” 


    “He works for your company. You don’t like me with him. Get it?” 


    “Ah,” He slowly pulled away from her and cleared his throat. 


    “I won’t do anything to get in his way. You’re a woman even I can not hope to be with. You are on a level simply your own and the man who reaches you there is a lucky one indeed.” She breathed a visible sigh of relief. 


    “Thank God.” 


    “Ebere… what has happened and what has been said will not leave this office is that clear?”     


    “Crystal sir.” Just like that, they had fallen back into the corporate vernacular. 


    “Good. Well then, you are free to go.” 


    “Go sir?” 


    “Yes. You are free until lunch time. I expect my next set of meetings and schedules to be prepared and left at my secretary’s desk by the end of the day.” 


    “You got it.” He sighed and sat back in his chair. She clenched her fists and tightly pursed her lips as she turned to go. 


    “One more thing.” 


    “Yes sir?” 


    “Congratulations. You’ve been promoted.”  She spun and eyed him, her eyes wide. 


    “S-sir?” 


    “You’ve been promoted. Congrats. You’ve earned it.” She barely contained her squeal and yelped for joy. 


    “Thank you… thank you sir!” 


    “It is nothing. You don’t realize I was testing you do you?”


    “I’m sorry?” 


    “I wanted to see how far you would go if I offered you what you rightfully deserve or more. Would you be like the other women and agree to go with me to dinner and later my apartment… or decline with your integrity. I am impressed Ms. Marshall.” She couldn’t stop the blush that warmed her cheeks. He sighed with a smile. 


    “So pretty. You better go before I think about Mr. Jones.” 


    “You wouldn’t. You gave me your word.” 


    “That I did. Damn that I did.” He said with a playful smile. She pursed her lips but opened the door. 


    “Thank you again.” 


***** 


 


    “I got it.” 


    “Oh my God! Congratulations!” 


    “Rae got promoted?!” 


    “Yeah! Finally. That man should have promoted you long time ago.” 


    “This deserves drinks tonight!” 


    “Yeah! Come with Rae!” 


    “Okay. Sure.” She laughed as the busy worker bees excitedly swarmed her. The light flying feeling hadn’t left her yet and she was happy. Finally. 


    “All right, let’s get back to work before Mr. Rossi comes out of his office.” They scurried to do their respective jobs and she smiled as she began to get started. The life of a worker bee never stopped. But in the end wasn’t it all worth it?

End Notes:

A/N: Hey y'all! First chapter! It took forever! Class and midterms upcoming and my flow was just not there for a minute. <3 What do you think of the girl who grew up into a woman? I have some characters I will add in a seperate chapter :) I hope you all enjoy it. I plan to work on the next chapter soon but no promises. I want to be able to keep my word. <3 Thank you for understanding! :D Love you! 


That Boy by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

THANK YOU FOR RECOMMENDING TRANSCENDENCE FOR A FEATURED STORY! It was quite a shock to see, I had no idea that it even was on the radar like that. I am so honored guys and so blessed! Thank you! This really means so much! Thank you Chamber fam! *kisses and hugs* 

-D&L <3 

 

 


The wind howled, the crisp cold cutting straight it seemed to the very sinew and bone. All around was mist, thick and heavy. The moon was high and bright and the darkness of the clouds quietly moved. He stood in the middle of an empty road. Quiet. Still. Curling wisps of vapor teased his skin, bringing goosebumps. And in the time it stood still, slowly she would appear. Soft, almost dancing on the wind like an ember of flame. Her brown foot bare touched the ground and from it a burst of butterflies sprung forth, leaving warm sunny ground in its wake. She would come to him and he could do nothing but stare. He tried several times to reach out to her and touch her but found it wasn’t possible. She didn’t open her mouth but there sat on her full lips a smile. She smiled as though she was free of any and all pain. Her eyes didn’t hold the hatred he expected but rather only neutrality. Familiarity. The moment he would open his mouth to say, “Are you content? Are you happy?” the dream would end. And he would wake up, his body wet with sweat. Through the years, these dreams had come to him almost every night it seemed, tormenting him. He couldn’t live with the guilt of hurting the woman he once called his. But over time, the dreams grew less frequent and he had guarded his heart with an iron wall.


    Glancing over at the woman who laid in his bed, he tightened his jaw. The sight of her once brought the feeling of repulsion. He didn’t want to touch her, see her or even talk to her.  She was what a lot of men would kill for: Beautiful, smart and rich. And whether he wanted to or not, ten years with her had produced attachment. He couldn’t say he absolutely hated her… not anymore. He wasn’t a young man any more and reality had become more important than idle fantasy. Reality had a rather cruel way of sobering you up. He was 28 years old now. His biological clock was ticking and he was feeling the pressure. The pressure to procreate. To marry. He wanted children. He wanted marriage. Just not with her. 


    It was foolish to desire someone you couldn’t have, who had been long gone and more than likely had a good life. He had tried to move on with his life. But he couldn’t help and wonder about her. What was she doing now? What was her life like? Had she found someone else? Memories of her laughter fluttered in his mind like the sweetest melody.  He still could remember the soft press of her lips and the overwhelming sweetness that flowed from them like honey. Sensations and feelings that haunted him.  


    He sat up and moved the leg that had been thrown over him. Placing his feet on the cool floor, he made his way onto his balcony. The early morning was approaching, the sky starting to show signs of the sun. Running fingers through his hair, he leaned on the banister and let the cool air flow through his fingers.When he thought of his life, it was full of mistakes. Things in his past that he wanted to make right. If not for anyone else but for him. He wished he could live without regret. He wanted to live as he once did… Could he honestly fall truly and madly in love again? Could he trust that woman with his heart and soul, his body and mind? He wasn’t sure if there was another who could love so openly as the girl who still lived in his dreams. Was it horrible that he considered trying? Through the years he had grown tired. Worn down. So close to giving in.


    “Hiro?” A soft voice called out in the quietness. A voice so sweet and gentle yet nothing like… like hers. 


    “What?” 


    “Is everything okay?” He took a deep breath, unconsciously fingering the tiny chain around his neck. It had been a source of pain for him but now he wore it as a sign of survival and of love. Once his heart was broken but it would once again be whole. Someday. 


    “Go back to sleep.” He heard sheets shift and soon felt arms come around his waist. 


    “What’s wrong?” 


    “It’s nothing.” He pulled her arms off of him. “Go back to sleep.”


    “Why do you do this? Why don’t you let me in?” He looked at her. 


    “I’ve said enough. I don’t think you need to hear anymore.” 


    “Hiroto,” 


    “Would you like something to eat?” She sighed and pressed her cheek into his shoulder blade. 


    “We can have our maids fetch us something, Why must you dirty your own hands?”  He pulled away from her and started to head back into the bedroom. 


    “I simply asked you if you were hungry Noa.” Now she understood how she was starting to cross into a boundary he didn’t want to bother going.  Rarely had he ever called her by her given name. She gave up with a sigh. 


    “Do as you wish.” It had been discouraged but still he did it. It wasn’t becoming of a man to cook. It wasn’t becoming of an Iwase man to dirty his hands when he didn’t need to. But, his hands rather liked the dirt. He said not another word and made his way into the kitchen. She didn’t follow him. Alone with the pots and pans, he felt peace; like he could regain a little piece of himself that he feared he had lost along the way. 


 


**** 


    “Mr. Iwase? Mr. Iwase!” The voice of a woman screeched into the phone, making him stiffen. Clearing his throat, he licked his lips. 


    “What is it?” 


    “Were you listening to me?” 


    “No.” The woman sighed deeply. 


    “I was telling you that your mother has been sent to the hospital. Perhaps you will visit her?” Lips grew thin. 


    “I have work to do.” Surely, the woman on the other line was shocked, her silence stunned. 


    “You won’t visit your own mother?” 


    “She will live.” 


    “M-Mr. Iwase…”     


    “If you have nothing else to report then thank you.” 


    “Y-yes sir.” He hung up the phone and got up from his desk. He went to stand in front of the large glass window encasing his office. Down below, the tiny specks that were cars and people fascinated him. How high up he was. But, he wished he could be down there with the rest of the ordinary society. 


    “Hiroto?” Turning, he faced the woman to whom he was obligated to marry. Obligations, obligations. They were a funny thing. 


    “Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be at the hospital with my mother?”  Too hard. His tone seemed to cut right to her heart. She swallowed and looked down. 


    “I wanted to see you. I told Mother I would bring you.” A vein in his temple twitched. 


    “Noa, I have work to do. Please go back to the hospital.” 


    “Will I be getting in your way?” He sighed and walked past her to sit back down in his chair. 


    “Must you be so cold? I just wanted to see you.” 


    “Come. Sit.”  She took a shaky breath and sat down across from him. 


    “How is she?” He asked as he flipped through some papers. 


    “You should ask her yourself.” Her response was met with silence. 


    “Have you eaten lunch yet? I brought you something just in case you hadn’t.” At that, he looked up and to his chagrin, his stomach growled as if to thank her. She laughed. 


    “I’m glad I did.” He nodded, his expression cool. 


    “I will eat then.” 


    “Please.” He put the papers down and grabbed the outstretched bento she held in her hands. She suddenly looked ten times happier and smiled as she gave him some hashi. Opening a small container, she waited until he began to eat before taking a bite of hers. 


    “Can I ask you something?” He looked at her. 


    “Why must you call me by that name?” 


    “It is the name you were given at birth. Why would I not call you that?” She fidgeted, chewing slowly. 


    “Not many women in Japan are named Noa. Not any I’ve come across.” He continued,  chewing some vegetables. 


    “It’s so strange don’t you think? It’s not a normal name.” 


    “You would prefer then that I call you Kiko?” 


    “Yes.”


    “May I ask why?” 


    “I like it better. It sounds better. Normal.” 


    “Ah.” 


    “Besides, you call me my given name only when you are irritated.” He kept quiet, his silence his answer. She sighed and they continued to eat in silence before he gently closed the box and returned it and hashi back to her. 


    “Thank you.” She smiled and nodded. 


    “It is nothing.” 


    “You should be going now. I’m sure my mother is waiting on your return.” She smiled softly. 


    “You are probably right.” She got up and got her things. 


    “Walk me to the door?” At her insistence, he got up and slowly walked her to the door. 


    “Thank you for coming.” She stopped and looked up at him. 


    “Are you really happy I came?” 


    “Mm.” 


    “Well… then I’ll come by again.” 


    “Mm.” 


    “I’m off then. Please work hard.” 


    “Of course.” She reached up and laid a hand softly on his cheek. He grew still. 


    “Can I tell you something? Truthfully?” He tightened his jaw but gave her a nod. 


    “Just once… One time is all I ask.” 


    “For?” 


    “My lips to meet yours.” Her eyes grew watery and she sighed and let her hand fall from his skin. 


    “I know you do not like me much Hiroto. I have tried to convince myself  in these past ten years that you would open your heart and let me take all the pain you feel away. But in truth, I am still a woman. I have feelings. It breaks my heart to know you don’t… you don’t want me. So I think… what must I do to make him notice me? Is it my figure? Is it my hair? It hurts to think about it. Please tell me what it is so I can fix it…” He swallowed thickly and reached up to wipe the tears that had fallen from her eyes. Such big brown eyes they were. 


    “Kiko…I am a difficult man. I cannot promise you the happiness you desire. I cannot promise that my heart shall open to you.” She bit her lip and more tears fell. She gripped his wrist with her dainty fingers. 


    “I love you Hiroto. I love you so much. Even if you never fully love me… could even a portion of it be mine?” 


    “Look at me.” She brought her teary gaze to his. 


    “The pain I have caused you… I am sorry. Your eyes should not be full of tears…” She sighed. 


    “I will do whatever I have to… I won’t lose you…” He pulled her against him in a hug. She blinked, shimmery tears wetting her eyelashes. 


    “I will try. I cannot promise you anything. It cannot be the love you want.”  


    “I don’t care… I just want to be with you.”  He looked at her fingers which gripped him. 


    “Kiko, I do have affection for you.” She lifted her head and looked into his eyes.


    “Can you show me? Please… this once Hiro..” He sighed heavily.


    “Will it help soothe the pain within your heart?” She nodded once and gripped his suit jacket as he took her face in his hands. He leaned down and breathed against her lips, hesitation making him stop. He had come to realize that indeed Kiko was a fragile woman. If he didn’t handle her carefully, he might shatter her. Another woman’s heart destroyed from his doing was something he didn’t think he could take. He pressed his lips against hers. His eyes remained open yet hers fluttered closed so easily. A sigh left her. He looked at her, his lips not quite as soft against hers. She tried to deepen the kiss but much too soon he had had enough. Everything about it felt wrong. Pulling back from her, he straightened. 


    “You should go.” She blinked, a pretty blush highlighting her cheeks. 


    “Ah… y-yes…” She bit her lip as she bowed and walked away from him, a dreamy expression on her face. Once he was alone, he wiped his mouth with his fingers and sat back down at his desk. That was somewhere he couldn’t go with her. It may break her heart but he couldn’t let the loneliness with them both bust from the seams and overflow. That would be a mistake.


 


**** 


    The waves were familiar to him and they seemed to be happy to greet him. The sand still warm from the hot sun. He heard a sigh behind him and turned to see Tobu. Out of all the people who had come and gone in his life, Tobu remained one of his closest friends. While all else sought to destroy him, he had been there to hold him up. Tobu too had aged and he wore it well. The scrawny kid had grown up and into his body, the muscle he worked hard for adding to the leanness. He was bigger than he was in high school but that wasn’t all that had changed about him. He still blushed a lot, especially when he was drunk. But the shyness that had consumed him as a teenager had disappeared. He had let the world teach him a few things and now he was one of the most outspoken people he had met. It was quite a contrast from their high school days but it was a welcome one. Even still, Tobu was still Tobu. Flirtatious when he felt like it and boyishly charming. His brother. Brothers until the end. 


    “What are you doing here?”


    “I came because you needed me. Right?” 


    “Yes.” 


    “I was deciding on my way here if I was going to beat your ass.” He snort. 


    “Why so violent?” 


    “Don’t ask me stupid questions Hiroto-kun.” 


    “Hm.” 


    “How have you been?” 


    “My days are the same. There is no change.” Tobu kept quiet and watched the waves lap at his feet for a while. 


    “It has been a while since we’ve had time to hang out. I haven’t eaten really good food and drank good sake in a while.” He smiled. 


    “Same here. Perhaps we can soon. I need to look at my schedule.” 


    “Your schedule huh? Man, who knew that you would actually grow up to follow in your father’s footsteps. When we were kids… I thought you would do something different. Be someone different. Now… now you’re the same as every other man out there.” 


    “Except you.” Tobu grinned. 


    “The business world and I don’t mix well Hiro-kun. You know that. I’m more of a free spirit.” 


    “Well you need to free spirit yourself into an actual career.” They shared a laugh. 


    “You sound like my father.” 


    “Well.” 


    “I suppose I’ll figure it out.” 


    “Mm.” Things grew quiet and he closed his eyes. 


    “Hiroto, I need something from you.” He looked up at Tobu, who looked at him seriously. 


    “What is it?” 


    “I need you to stop playing games.” He blinked.


    “Playing games?” 


    “With that girl. With yourself.” 


    “Hm..” 


    “I don’t like her. I never liked her and I never will. She’s not the one I envisioned getting married to you.” 


    “…” 


    “But we’re both getting too old to be playing kiddie games. Pining over a woman you let go is wasting your time. And your life. I can’t stand to watch you anymore. You have two choices. Marry Kiko and do what your family wants or stay out of it and forge your own path.” He was quiet. 


    “It’s been ten years Hiroto-kun. You’re not getting any younger and you’re not as lively as you used to be.” He swallowed tightly. 


    “You’re really giving me this advice?” 


    “I’m your best friend. Even if I still want to kill you for what you did… at some point… I just… I want to stop this. It’s time you made peace with it.” 


    “With Rae you mean.” It had been so long since he had actually said her name out loud and the sound of it on his tongue was rough and unused. 


    “You said it not me.” 


    “But what is what you implied.” 


    “I will never accept you with Kiko. She was never the right one for you. But that’s none of my business.” 


    “Tobu,” 


    “You’ve let your mother suck you dry and kill who you are. You may not be a child anymore but will you let yourself die without a fight? Where was the boy who looked at me with such determination and fire? Has he died too?” He clenched his fists together. 


    “One of the things Rae did for you was set you free. She covered you with such light that you dared to stand up and speak for yourself. Will you rest in the shadow of your mother or will you be bold once again? Think about it my friend.” He gently slapped his back. 


    “This time…. do it nice and soft. Don’t be so rash and impulsive. These things take time and much careful planning. Whatever it is you do, let it be strategic and effective.” He looked at his friend, who grinned boyishly and felt a smirk come to his face. 


    “I don’t think that boy was dead. I think he was just sleeping. Now he’s ready to reappear. As a man.” Tobu grinned wider. 


    “That’s what the hell I’m talking about. I’m with you Hiro-kun. Till the end.”















 

End Notes:

A/N: Hey guys! Chapter 2 is up! Man, the creative bug has bit me lol. Woo. Another chapter written right after the first one. I hope I can keep this up. I will have to stop for a while though. Midterms are next week and I have quite a bit of studying to do. I hope in that time (or after) I can write more. I believe I have a break coming up too so yasssss! You know what that means lol. First and formost, my babyy Hiroto is back y'all. *sniffs* He (unlike Rae) has not had the best life after LOL. He wasn't going to anyway. I was not going to make his life easy peasy. He is riddled with memories and has really struggled to move on with his life. I think this is a wonderful introductory chapter because it shows the struggle he has had. The relationship with Kiko is another that I wanted to emphasize. Originally, I was going to have him hate her and treat her like crap LOL. But, realistically I think that after 10 years of being around her and at some point living with her, he would form attachment and even affection to and for her. It's normal, it's something we can't stop or prevent lol. I think instead of trying to look at Kiko as this crazy woman, I'm trying to show her in a more humanistic light. She really does love Roto. Now, a question to ask and keep for later is: 

 

 

Another thing is I encourage questions! Please ask them, as many of them as you would like. I like when you guys are thinking about it! I really enjoy when you guys leave comments and reviews so please make sure to do that. They not only make me happy but they give me an idea of a direction I can take the story, concerns and comments to add or factor into the story and criticisms I can use to improve my writing, etc. Reviews are more important than you may be aware! :D <3 

 

Two: MY BABY TOBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Okay so I really see Tobu as the brother Hiroto never had and I had to hold off on introducing him too much lol. That might overlap into his own story and I reallllly cannot wait to write about bruh man here lol. I love the way he has matured and grown and how deep he is down for his bro Roto. I think Tobu's shyness as a teenager was so cute and I think that it is only appropriate that now as a man he is less shy and more direct. He definitely showed signs of being direct when addressing Emi so it was there. <3 *sighs happily* Tobu don gon and grew up into a very sexy attractive man. I couldn't be more proud. Now, I need Hiroto to glo up too lol. <3 He gon come up on that glo glo y'all. Trust and believe lol. 

 

Till next time, 

 

God bless and thanks for reading! <3

 

 

 (Yuzuru is so cute y'all <3)


Black Coffee by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soundtrack: 

India.Arie- Brown Skin 

 

 


Drink glasses clinked together and laughter was loud and plentiful. 

    “I can’t believe you got promoted!” Her mother exclaimed, still in shock. 

    “Why is that so hard to believe?” Her father asked her, taking a sip of his beer. 

    “I know Rae can do anything. But she had been exec assistant for so long. I was starting to think he wouldn’t give it to her.” 

    “He probably wasn’t. But my girl went in there are demanded it.” Tre cheesed hard like a proud father. She snort. 

    “It was about time. Besides, I couldn’t work as an exec assistant forever.” 

    “Tell us how it went!” Her sister Amee asked, an excited grin on her face. 

    “Not much to tell. I went in there, asked him to give me a promotion or else I would leave the corporation. He’s really benefited from me these four years so he knew I was a big asset.” Tre chuckled. 

    “Damn straight. You been wiping that man’s ass for four years. The least he could do is give you what you deserve.” They all laughed. 

    “So Rae,” She looked up into the face of her father.

    “Where is Kwasame?” She put her glass of wine down. 

    “He couldn’t join us. He work late so he sends his regards.” 

    “Kinda unfortunate isn’t it? Your boo couldn’t be here…” Amee commented. 

    “I’ll have my time with him. Right now it’s all y’all.” 

    “Well good. I think I’d have a problem with any man takin my baby girl away from me.” Her father said with a grunt. 

    “Daddy please.” He chuckled. 

    “How are things with Kwasame?” She blushed and tightened her lips on the rim of her glass. 

    “Things are good.” 

    “Oh come on, tell us more than that Rae.” Amee exclaimed, her face full of nosiness. 

    “What? Things are good.” 

    “Okay so if I were in a happy relationship with a man as fine and foreign as yours things would not be good. They would be absolutely life changing.” She cut her eyes at her sister. 

    “Pardon me if I don’t want to share all my business with y’all. Y’all some of the nosiest folks in New York.” Amee clutched her heart and feigned hurt. 

    “Excuse me. No we are not.” 

    “Mm. Tell that lie to somebody else.” Tre chuckled. 

    “Well, regardless you look happy. I like that guy.” Rae snort. 

    “You sure you don’t just like him because he is black?” 

    “He’s better than that Japanese fellow you were infatuated with in high school.” Her father spoke up, calmly taking another sip of his beer. She looked at him. 

    “Dad!” Amee said sharply, softly hitting him. 

    “Kendrick, what are you talking about?” Her mother said, a stern look on her face. He sighed. 

    “Sorry baby girl. I meant nothing by it.” 

    “What was wrong about him being Japanese?” 

    “Nothin Rae. Forget it.” She took a deep breath and leaned forward on the table. 

    “Nah. You mentioned it so I wanna know why.” He had everyone’s attention. She tapped her fingernails on the table, waiting. 

    “It’s just that I don’t have a high tolerance for men who hurt the women in my family. Especially those who know nothing about our culture and the way we do things.” She bit her lips before replying. 

    “But it was you who sent me to a place where no one knew of my culture or of me period.” 

    “Rae!” Her mother exclaimed, looking at her, her eyes wide. 

    “You did. I was entirely too young and you shipped me off without so much as a goodbye. What was I supposed to do? Remain by myself for four years because there were no black people around?” 

    “Ebere.” Her father gripped his mug. 

    “Rae, I apologized.” She smiled. 

    “And I’ve forgiven you.” 

    “Then why are you bringing it back up?”    

    “Because you must have forgotten that my falling in love with a Japanese man was a result of you abandoning me there. I just wanted to remind you.” He grunted and set his mug down. 

    “I did it because I wanted to protect you.” 

    “I know Daddy. And for a time, he took your place. I was safe with him.”    

    “For that I am thankful.”

    “All I’m saying is that I don’t want you to get caught up in skin color and ethnicity. That can be dangerous.” Things had grown tense and she sighed. 

    “I have a good life now. And an equally good man. That’s all there is to it.” She reached for her glass and took a sip of her wine. 

    “I’m sorry if I upset you baby girl.” Her father said, reaching across the table and squeezing her hand. She smiled. 

    “You’re right. Kwasa is better than him. Much much better.” He smiled in return. 

    “I’m glad to hear that.” 

    “Okay then enough talkin about the past. I believe our food has got here. Let’s thrown down.” Tre said with a clearing of his throat. She sat back and watched as her family attacked their plates, passing around appetizers. Smiling to herself, she began to eat. 

 

*****     

 

    “Congratulations sweetheart.” Arms wrapped around her as they sat on his couch and she smiled against his chest. 

    “Thanks teddy.” 

    “I’m proud of you.” She looked up at him and gently run fingers across his high cheek bone. 

    “Kwasa?” 

    “Yeah darlin?” 

    “I wanted something for my congrats.” 

    “That is?” She pulled his face towards her, bringing his gaze to hers. 

    “It’s a big something.” 

    “Is it?” His lips felt so smooth pressed against her palm. 

    “Mmhm.” 

    “Name it.” She slowly got on top of him and wrapped her arms around his neck. His eyes widened only slightly and then a sexy little smirk slid across his full lips. 

    “Ah. I see.” 

    “You’ve yet to touch me or anything. What’s up with that?” He slid his hands down to her hips. 

    “I’ve wanted to take things slow. That’s all.” She pouted and slid her hands up his chest. 

    “It’s been two years slow. I wanna speed things up some.” She leaned down and kissed him. He smiled against her lips and slowly moved her so that she pressed closer to his groin. She gasped and pulled away, panting against his cheek. 

    “If you’re ready. I’ll catch it and throw it back to you.” 

    “I’m so ready.” He brought his dark alluring eyes to hers and she laughed as he nearly fell trying to get to his bedroom. 

 

***** 

 

    His skin reminded her of black silk. Smooth black sand. All black everything. His hands big as mountains came to hold her so tenderly, his lips soft and plush kissed her as if she would disappear. Her breath was deep and her skin tingled with want. Clothes left her body and soon, soon the language he spoke to her was the most beautiful one of all. He threw her out into the clouds, passion written so delicately, so loudly in that space. Hands gripped sheets and sweat wet bodies. He felt so good. Fingers curled underneath her chin and brought her lips to his. She let the reaction of his love free from her belly and he responded so elegantly. She pushed. More. She needed more. 

    “Throw it back teddy.” She breathed against his skin. 

    “Catch it for me baby…” Hips rolled and stroked, making her weak. He moved like he was trying to merge with her and she wanted to become him, inside of him until she didn’t know who she was. Only him. Just him. She cried out, her body singing such beautiful notes.  He gripped her hips and brought her hips back hard, her breath taken smoothly, sharply.  

    “Kwasa…oh God…” Her teeth bit her lips as she gasped for air. The heat covered them in its shade and she wanted to be burned. He groaned, a deep intoxicating rumble against her shoulder. Just a little more… He reached up to take her breasts in his hands, pulling her back against him flush. His hips drove her over the edge and she let the heat swallow her. He found her lips, groaning into her mouth. Quickly, he pulled out of her and grunted as he came against her lower back. She sat back into his lap as he softly kissed her cheek. Weak, she tried to catch her breath, eyes closed. She felt his lips smile against her jaw line. 

    “You did good little lady…” He whispered, his accent more pronounced. She laid her head back against his shoulder and smirked. 

    “You’re not too shabby yourself teddy.” She turned her head to look up at him and he gently caressed her cheek. 

    “We should have been more careful.” He commented, his voice low and gentle. 

    “Yeah…” 

    “I should have-”

    “I wanted to…. like this.” 

    “I’m glad I was able to in time.” She playfully pouted. 

    “You don’t want kids?” He kissed her nose. 

    “I’d love children with you darling. There’s nothing I want more. But not now yeah?” She let him pull her underneath his covers and felt him drift to sleep. But she couldn’t sleep as peaceful. She stared at his hands on her waist and swallowed. For some reason, something didn’t sit right with her. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Maybe she was tripping. It wasn’t like she wanted to have kids now anyway. Snuggling against him, she stayed still until sleep finally whispered sweet lullabies to her.  

 

**** 

 

    When she woke up in the morning, she smelled coffee. Getting up, she pressed the sheets against her skin. Glancing down at them, she smiled to herself. Love was made here last night. Sighing to herself, she got out of bed, taking the sheet with her. Going into the bathroom, she tied the sheet around her and lifted her hair out of her face. The sweat had made it curl up, making it look like she hadn’t spent hours getting it bone straight. Sucking her teeth, she turned her head to look at her neck and shoulder which had pale red love marks. Kwasame was a cheeky boy indeed. She bit her lip and turned on the faucet to splash her face with water. It was then that she noticed that the ring normally on her finger was gone. She stared at her naked finger and for a moment couldn’t place how she felt. She shouldn’t have still been wearing it to be honest. But at the same time, she felt like he had invaded her space. Sighing, she reached for her stay over toothbrush to grab empty air. She blinked and the once minor irritation blossomed into full anger. Where the hell was her toothbrush? She opened the bathroom door and walked into the kitchen where he was making breakfast. 

    “Kwasame?” He flipped some bacon and turned his head back at her, a handsome smile on his face. 

    “Well, good morning little lady. Did you sleep well?” 

    “Yeah.” She lied. That wasn’t important. The important thing was why her toothbrush was gone and her finger bare. 

    “I’m making your favorites. Cheese grits with extra sharp cheddar, bacon, sausage and the fluffiest pancakes you can imagine.” Her stomach growled and she placed a hand on her tummy, silently telling it to shut up. 

    “Thank you. Uh… I have two questions.” 

    “Shoot.” 

    “One: Where is my toothbrush?” He didn’t turn his head as he kept cooking, that action alone bumping up the intensity of her anger. 

    “I threw it away.” 

    “I see that. Why?” 

    “I wanted to clean out some clutter. That’s all.” 

    “So my toothbrush was cluttering up your space?” 

    “Rae…” 

    “I got chu. Two: where is my ring?” At that, he finally turned around. The thing that pissed her off the most was that he didn’t look the slightest moved by her antics. 

    “I don’t like when you wear it.” 

    “So that gave you the right to take it off my person?” He sighed. 

    “I don’t see what is the problem little lady. You’ve let me into your personal space before. Why is this any different?” 

    “Because you didn’t ask me to remove it.” He turned back around and finished breakfast. Walking past her, he set their plates on the small table. 

    “You need to let him go Rae.” He said softly but firmly. Her mouth dropped open and she blinked at him. 

    “W-what do you mean I need to let him go? I have let him go.” 

    “You’re wearing the ring he gave you when you two were together. From what you told me, he proposed to you with it. Ten years later, you still wear the damned thing. How do you think that makes me feel Rae? You wearing another man’s jewelry?” She swallowed thickly and looked away from him. 

    “Kwasa..” 

    “You no longer belong to him.” Silence. But she could hear his breathing that had grown faster.     

    “Am I right?” She licked her lips and looked up at him. 

    “Right. You’re right.” 

    “I do not want to appear like a possessive asshole. But I cannot help it. Please Rae. I don’t… want you to put that ring on again. You’re not his woman anymore. You’re mine. Is that clear?” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

    “Y-yeah. Crystal.” 

    “I’m sorry about your toothbrush. I wasn’t aware you were going to stay over. I would have gotten you a brand new one.” She kept quiet. 

    “Rae say something.” Still nothing. He sighed and sat down. 

    “Sit and eat with me baby. Come on.” Slowly, she gripped the chair and pulled it out. Slowly she sank into it and stared at the food in front of her. 

    “I hadn’t realized…” She said quietly, holding up her hand. She looked at her finger, the indentation of the ring once symbolizing the greatest love she had experienced still on her skin. 

    “It seems you two definitely experienced something great. But as far as I’m concerned, he wasn’t worthy of you. A man who lets the love of his life walk away from him without a fight is not worthy of being with you.” 

    “All true.” 

    “You spent four years with this fellow. I can understand. But it’s been ten years. A full decade.” Slowly, his rough yet gentle fingers slid across her hand, covering the indentation. he slid his fingers through hers and brought her hand to his lips. 

    “I want to be the only one who lives in your heart Ebere Marshall. I won’t accept anything less than that.” He kissed her hand and smiled at her. 

    “Kwasame…” 

    “Do you want to know why I’ve waited so long with you? I’ll tell you. It is because you are the woman I want as my wife. I want to get to know all sides of you. The good, the bad and the ugly. I wanted to know this without making love. And still. I want to learn every part of you, what makes you tick.” She smiled softly at him and tightened her grip on his fingers. 

    “Teddy…” 

    “Yes love?” 

    “You’re a good man…” 

    “I may not have much. I may be living in this dump of a place. But I want to give you the world.” 

    “Does it bother you? That I make more than you?”  He chuckled. 

    “It does not matter. I think we both know who really wears the pants here.” She sucked her teeth but couldn’t stop her smile. 

    “So I’m the bread maker and you’re…”

    “I’m the wife maker absolutely.” She snort and started laughing. 

    “Wife maker. I am completely done with you Kwasame Jones.” He chuckled again and kissed the back of her hand again. 

    “Now, eat some food. And then perhaps we can work some of this food off.” 

    “Will you be naked again? I like you naked.” She teased. He grinned and licked his lips. 

    “I’ll be whatever you want little lady.” 

    “Good.” She pulled her hand back and they began to eat their breakfast. She eyed him as he chewed his bacon. He was like black coffee. Strong and solid. Bold and straightforward. When she felt like falling, he was there to comfort her and soothe her and he always kept her straight. She truly had a good man indeed. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End Notes:

A/N: Well well, Kwasame Jones y'all. To be honest, I don't know how to feel about him. It's like... I like the whole being there for Rae and everything and he does seem to love her. But I still have a problem with him throwing outher toothbrush. Like something as simple as that sends a loud message. But then he's like... don't wear that ring and you're mine and... I don't know. lol. Over all, I like him... butheain'tIwaseHirotoso.... Can the real soulmate of Ebere Marshall stand up please? *looks at Roto* lol. They are cute together and everything but they just aren't meant to be together... *sigh* I hope you guys enjoyed it! :) Chapter 4 is in the works <3 Thank you for reading! Take care and God bless! 

 

Sunray into the sky, bright and yellow~~

D&L

The Past by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

“There you go again.” She looked up to find her sister Amee leaning against the doorway. 

    “What?” 

    “You gon work a hole in your finger the way you spinning that ring around.” Her fingers stopped. 

    “Oh. Um…”     

    “Don’t know why you even kept that damn thing.” She looked down at the ring on her finger. She twisted it and took it off. 

    “Girl, by the time I realized it was still on I was already on the plane.” Amee chuckled. 

    “Why you keep holdin on to somethin that’s dead?” She shrugged. 

    “It’s pretty.” 

    “Rae,” 

    “What, get out my business. Regardless of what happened, I like the damn ring. It’s pretty.” Amee chuckled. 

    “Mm okay. If you say so.” She sighed. 

    “You won’t believe where this thing was.” Amee blinked. 

    “Where?” 

    “Kwasame threw it in the trash. After he took it off my finger while I slept.” Amee pursed her lips. 

    “He did?”

    “Pissed me the fuck off.” Amee came into the room. 

    “I get where bruh is comin from but damn. It’s like that?” She took a slow breath. She was still pissed about it days later. One of the reasons why she was straight up ignoring him. She could see why he did it. But for him to do something like that and then make a big deal about her being his was a whole other thing. She may not have said it, she may have been in shock but she had felt a real way. 

    “He started talkin bout some you belong to me shit. What the hell is that…” Amee balled up her lips. 

    “Rae, you have been dating him for two years… I mean… don’t you kinda belong to him? He is your man.” She looked at her sister like she had grown two heads. 

    “Are you crazy? Ebere Marshall belongs to no man. I belong to my damn self. Point. Blank. Period.” 

    “Except that boy you loved in Japan…you did belong to him at one time right?” Her face grew sour and she sighed. 

    “What is with y’all? First Daddy now you. Why are y’all bringing up the past all of a sudden?” Amee sighed and sat down on her bed next to her. 

    “He was all you talked about Ebbie. Your whole entire world revolved around him.” She scoffed. 

    “Yeah back when I was young dumb and brainless.” 

    “I remember when you came home from Japan. You ain’t want nothin to do with nobody. All you did was stay in your room and cry out for him. You didn’t even eat or sleep. It was Hiroto this, Hiroto that…” 

    “What’s the point of trying to remind me the absolute mess I was in A?” Her sister smiled softly at her and gently framed some of her curls around her face. 

    “I’m just trying to get you to stop being stubborn. You can’t lie to yourself. He played a big part in your life and you have to admit that.” She was quiet for a while. 

    “Do you miss him Ebbie?” Her sister watched her fingers, which had started to unconsciously twirl the small ring around her finger again. 

    “No.” 

    “It’s okay if you do honey.” 

    “I don’t. Y’all tryna make me get in feelings that are dead and ones I long since buried.” Amee pressed her forehead against her shoulder. 

    “In any case, what Kwasame did was not cool under any circumstance. I get where he’s comin from. But there was a better way to handle it. All he did piss you off and he better be lucky Tre don’t know about this.” She smiled softly. 

    “Tre would set it off.”

    “He don’t play when it comes to you.” 

    “You too A. All of us.” Amee shook her head. 

    “Nah but he’s never been as protective of me as he was of you. You were the favorite little sister.” 

    “Oh girl please. Hush.” They shared a laugh and Amee lifted her head. 

    “So you got your ring back. And your dignity. Now what chu gon do Ms. Marshall?” She grinned. 

    “Stunt on all them muhfuckas.” 



**** 

    Her first day back at work, she felt like royalty. She had went shopping the previous day. She had never been able to afford red bottoms but honey she had bought some of those bad boys and felt damn good walking out of the store. Those babies she was saving for later. But, she had paired some long wide legged pants, smooth and silky and a crisp white shirt with simple black pumps. She hadn’t bothered to straighten her hair today, deciding her hair needed a much needed break from it. Her curls which had been swept up in an up-do smelled like sweet papaya and coconut. She wore some small Chanel studs she had thrifted and a sleek black wrist watch. Grabbing her black clutch, she blotted her bold red lips and checked herself in the bathroom mirror before heading into the office. It was like as soon as she stepped in, jaws dropped and eyes followed her. She blinked and smiled at some of the men that had gathered in a nearby cubicle. 

    “Mornin y’all.” One of them stuttered, 

    “G-Good m-mornin.” Her brow creased and she pursed her lips as she set her things down on her desk.     

    “What is up with y’all today? Y’all act like you ain’t never seen me before.” 

    “Well gaaaaaah damn Marshall.” She sucked her teeth and turned to look at Peterson, the cubicle playboy. He looked her over once, twice and shook his head. 

    “What happened to you? You come in here lookin like a million bucks.” 

    “A girl feelin herself. Somethin wrong with that?” He licked his lips and his eyes slid down her body one more time. 

    “Nah. You good. Feel yourself more often.” 

    “You can look all you want to. You’ll never touch it.” She said lowly as she passed him. Men like him made her blood boil and skin crawl. His eyes followed her all the way back to Mr. Rossi’s set of cherry wood double doors. She took a deep breath and entered to find him standing by Ms. Jenny, his administrative assistant. At the sight of her, he smiled. 

    “Good morning Ms. Marshall.” 

    “Good morning Mr. Rossi.” 

    “Are you ready?” 

    “Ready sir?” He smiled deeper. 

    “You’re going to accompany me today.” She blinked and looked at Jenny who kept her gaze down. 

    “I’m leaving the office?” He nodded. 

    “I’ll be preparing you to take over when I’m absent. That’s one of your main duties now.” She blushed and felt a rush of happiness fill her body. 

    “Yes of course.” 

    “Get your things. We’ll leave in two minutes. I have somewhere to be.” 

    “Of course. I’m ready now.”

    “Then shall we?” 

    “Yes sir.” He turned to Jenny. 

    “Take every call and don’t make any mistakes Jenny. Write down everything and get clarification on everything.” 

    “Y-yes sir.” He turned to face her and began to walk towards her. She straightened up and began to walk beside him. When they entered the main room, everyone stared. It was unusual to see Mr. Rossi walking with a fellow employee anywhere much less towards the exit. 

    “One moment Mr. Rossi.” She went to her desk and grabbed her clutch. As she was about to join him, she heard Shelley whisper sharply.  

    “Rae!”

    “Yeah?”

    “Where you goin with Rossi?” 

    “Girl I don’t know. He wants me to come with him.” 

    “Oh. Oh…” 

    “Girl bye. I gotta go. We catch up later.” She straightened up and soon rejoined him with a smile. 

    “Shelley, take over Ms. Marshall’s station while she is gone.” 

    “Yes sir!” She piped up, her voice tinny. 

    “Let’s go.” He began to walk ahead of her and she swallowed as she followed him. 


***** 

    “You look beautiful this morning.” She turned to look at him, his face turned towards the window. She sat across from him, her clutch tightly held against her thighs. 

    “Thank you.” 

    “No problem.” She let out a breath. 

    “Are you nervous Rae?” At the use of her name informally she looked at him. 

    “A little.” His lips smiled and he brought his dark smoldering gaze to hers. 

    “Don’t be.” 

    “Well you ain’t tell me where we were goin so…” He chuckled and cleared his throat. 

    “Today is the first part of your training. It’s very important that you pay attention and listen.”

    “I got that part. You still ain’t told me where we’re going.” 

    “We’re going to a gala.” She eyed him so quick. 

    “A gala? Me dressed like this?!” 

    “What’s wrong with the way you’re dressed?”

    “You said gala. Gala means expensive clothes and jewels.”

    “Not necessarily.” She pursed her lips. 

    “Okay.”

    “You’re dressed appropriately. It’s an informal gala.”

    “Hm.” He sighed and the silence that ensued was comforting to her. Yes, no talking. She needed to figure out what she was going to say to these people. These were some highly important people, she couldn’t talk any type of way. She softly licked her lips, careful not to get too much lipstick. Who all would be there she wondered. 

    “We’re here.” At his voice, she looked up and swallowed tightly. 

    “Okay.” The door to his limo opened and he got out. Outstretching his hand, he helped her out. As she was about to pull her hand away, he tightened his grip on it. 

    “Rae, relax.” She took a deep breath. There were people inside this building that would and could help her get what she wanted. 

    “Let’s go.” He squeezed her hand and let it drop. He offered his arm. Gingerly sliding her hands around him, she let him lead her into the building. 


*****

    “My, is that you Antonio?” A woman called as she walked to them. She took her hands off of his arm and pressed them against her stomach. He smiled and hugged her. 

    “Maria, you look absolutely gorgeous this morning.” 

    “Oh please. Your flattery is going to get you nowhere.” They both chuckled. She pushed him aside slightly. 

    “Who is this young lady? Is she your date?” She pinched her fingers tighter and smiled. No. I am not his date. 

    “She is one of my most promising executives. She is accompanying me yes.” She let her hand extend and she firmly gripped the woman’s. Stand tall Rae. Appearance and confidence is everything. You got this. She coached herself as she straightened up. She cleared her throat. 

    “It’s quite a pleasure to meet you. My name is Ebere Marshall.” The woman looked impressed, her eyebrows almost all the way up into her hairline. She knew about that. It was always a shock to hear black folk speak intelligently. 

    “It is equally a pleasure. How long have you been working for Antonio?” 

    “About four years Ma’am.” 

    “Ah. What have your years looked like?” 

    “I interned with him while still in undergrad and once out began to work there full time as an administrative assistant. I worked under him all the way up to executive assistant.” 

    “I’ve just promoted her.” Antonio said proudly with a smile. 

    “Impressive. Antonio does not promote often especially assistants. You must have made a very good impression on him Ebere.” She felt a sharp stab in her chest. What was Maria implying? 

    “The only impression I hope I have given to Mr. Rossi is one of hard work, determination and utmost professionalism.” She said with a polite smile, watching as Maria pursed her lips. 

    “She is quite the worker bee. I am proud to have her.” Antonio said, gently placing his hand on her back. She stiffened. Maria seemed to be watching it under intense scrutiny and smiled thinly. 

    “Antonio you sure know how to pick your assistants. They’re all so very pretty.” He laughed, a blush coming to his cheeks. 

    “Maria what ever are you saying?” She smiled. 

    “Don’t bother the talk of this old woman. Ebere, it was a pleasure to meet you.” 

    “It was a pleasure to meet you as well.” She shook hands with her one last time before she briskly walked away from them. She let out the breath she had been holding. 

    “So you tricked me into being your date. I should-”

    “Not now Ms. Marshall. Too many eyes and ears.” She shut her mouth and growled lowly under her breath. 

    “Drink. Mingle. Now is the perfect time to network.” He whispered against her temple before leaving her standing in the middle of the room. She sighed and eyed many of the business women and men who stood talking to each other. 

    “Have you heard about the young man who is running that business pretty much by himself?” 

    “No, who is he?” 

    “Some son of a really big businessman.”

    “That so? What’s so impressive about this kid?” 

    “Word has it that he has overseen all operations overseas and has successfully launched a branch of his company here in New York.” 

    “By himself?” 

    “Yeah.” 

    “How old is this young man?”

    “28 I hear.” 

    “For someone to pick up business so well so young that is mighty impressive.” There were so many more conversations but for some reason the one nearest her caught the most of her attention. Who were they talking about? She cleared her throat and walked up. 

    “Hello, pardon me. I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation. I wanted to know more about this man you speak of.” They smiled at her and moved to include her in. 

    “I hear his name is something foreign. Chinese or something like that.” 

    “He’s run this business by himself?” She asked. 

    “Pretty much. But you know how the Chinese do things.”

    “I don’t think he’s Chinese… I think he may be Japanese.”     

    “Japanese?”

    “Yeah Iruko something…”

    “No James, Iwase.” She looked at the woman who had spoken. 

    “Iwase?” 

    “Yes. Iwase Hiroto I believe… quite a fellow.”

    “You’ve… met him?” 

    “About a year ago. His English was impeccable. He’s very elegant and passionate about his work.” A sudden pain hit her in the stomach and she gripped her clutch. 

    “And you say he has a firm here?” The woman nodded. 

    “He’s been working on it for quite a while. He picked a very good city.” 

    “I see.”

    “Are you interested in his line of work?” She swallowed and smiled. 

    “I’m not familiar with his work.”

    “Oh darling you must acquaint yourself! Those who do well know of others who do well in the business world. He is a good person to keep in your camp.” She nodded. 

    “I will definitely read up on him.” 

    “You are?”

    “My name is Ebere Marshall.”

    “Oh Rossi’s favorite.” Her eyebrow twitched but she kept that smile on. 

    “Favorite?”

    “Darling he talks about you all the time. In his eyes, you can do no wrong. He thinks and speaks very highly of you.”

    “I am honored but I am just an assistant.”

    “Word of advice dear: Keep powerful men close. Rossi might look young but he has a lot of influence and power. He’s sweet on you. Use that to your advantage and you’ll succeed.” The woman winked and grabbed James. She eyed Antonio who watched her leave. She went into the bathroom and slammed her clutch on the counter. Damn it. She looked at herself in the mirror. It was like the past had hit her all over again. She was feeling so many things. When she left his sorry ass in Japan she hadn’t looked back. It had taken quite a while to stop bowing when she met people or in general and saying ‘itadaskimasu’ at dinner. All the mannerisms she had learned to survive in a foreign land for four years had been strong. And she had been able to let them go. And she thought she had let him go too. He didn’t deserve her near crying in the bathroom ten years later. She was not going to let him do that to her. Eying her finger which normally had his ring, she sighed.     

    Truthfully, she thought about her life there a lot. She missed Hana and little Hisae, though she doubt Hisae would be little by now. She also thought about Tobu quite a bit. Her baby Bu… She wondered how his life had turned out. Tears welled up in her eyes and she hung her head. She missed them greatly. Others like Shinju, Rie and Momo she thought of fondly. If she could, she would thank them for the kindness and genuineness. Those like Minako would always remain in her heart. She wished sometimes she could go and visit them… but by now they probably had forgotten about her and moved on. So why was it so damn difficult for her? She was clinging to a man who had damn near pulled her heart out. A man she had loved with her soul and her spirit.

     She had had many relationships since him but maybe the thing she couldn’t let go was how they had loved. It wasn’t physical. It had never gotten a chance to be that way. She had loved his spirit instead, the person he was in his soul and had embraced him 100. Though she thought it had been enough, he had decided to push her out of his life. Maybe it was best that she was cut out. She didn’t belong in his world anyway.  Even so, she had never loved anyone before him in such an almost spiritual way and hadn’t since. Not even Kwasame…She let the tears fall down her cheeks. She had to let him go. She had to close that door and end that chapter of her life. She couldn’t continue to hold on to him.

     It had taken her a while to stop seeing him as a boy… facing the fact that the boy she once loved was now a man. It had taken a while for it to become easy to envision him married to that girl his family had set him up with and by now they probably had a couple kids. She wondered… had he been able to find happiness? Had he forgotten about her and moved on with his life? These things she had to let remain in the past. Answers to questions she would never receive. And that was fine.  She stood up straight and grabbed some tissue. She gently dapped at her cheeks, careful not to smudge her makeup. It was time to go out there and stunt. She couldn’t be boss up in the bathroom crying. Taking a deep breath, she smiled at her reflection and opened the bathroom door. It was time to continuing reigning. Her Queendom wasn’t going to be built by herself. 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



End Notes:

A/N: Rae, don't fight it honey. You're still very much in love with Roto and guess what, he is in love with you. Don't worry your man comin for you girllll but I'ma need her to be strong and make extra hard on him lol. Don't let bruh see you sweat. Kwasa better get out the way and Antonio better kick rocks too cause once Iwase come everything shuttin down LOLLLL. Okay y'all, I'm playing lol. Sort of lol. Okay, Six chapters in already?! LAWD. I can't believe it!! I just want Hiroto and Rae to meet like..... *happy sigh* Leave your thoughts, comments and concerns as always you guys! Thank you for reading thus far! I hope you are enjoying it ^^  :) Till next time (watch it be tomorrow lol), 


God bless and have a wonderful night!

Search by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

“We have arrived at John F. Kennedy International Airport. Everyone, welcome to New York.” After 14 hours, he had reached his destination. Smiling, he sighed to himself. The sun was beginning to break through the clouds. The visage was still smoky. His body was exhausted but the excitement that coursed through him was enough to keep him up a little longer. The plane came to a complete stop and soon he as well as the other passengers exited the plane. Kiko would arrive in a few days. He wouldn’t be able to stand being on the same plane. He almost left her but decided against it. He was clearing the board so that nothing stood in the way of him getting to his Queen. Even if that meant putting up with her. As he stepped into the main terminal, he saw a sign with his name on it. He nodded at a bulky man who waited. 

“Hello.” 

“Good evening Mr. Iwase. Welcome to New York.” 

“It is a pleasure.” 

“I’ll accompany you to your car. From there you should be escorted to your place of residence.”

“Thank you.” The man grabbed his bags and they walked out into an awaiting limousine. 

 

***** 

He pressed the electronic key to the pad and the door to his new home opened. Everything smelled fresh and new. He took off his shoes before stepping into the open space. Rolling his bags in he looked around. It was quite a spacious room and the pieces of furniture and masculine color scheme created a good balance of the atmosphere. He liked the clean lines. He’d picked quite an appropriate home, one that could be comfortable and entertaining should he need it to be. Sighing, he walked around until he found the bathroom. There was a round bean shaped tub, white on a platform in front of a large window overlooking the city. That was something that had attracted him to this place. The large windows that looked over all of New York it seemed. Even in the living room and kitchen, it was surrounded by windows. So much natural light. 

Further down the platform was a large step in shower. He considered both a shower and soaking in the tub. That would be the perfect conclusion to his travels. Playing with the American knob he figured out how to turn it on until water came out. He left it running until he found the temperature he liked and stepped into the shower. When he got out, he stepped into the tub, the water still hot. He sighed and leaned his head back against the rim of the tub. Closing his eyes, he let the water soothe his tired stiff muscles. He went underneath the water for a while, letting the warmth bathe him in its entirety. 

He lifted, steam rising around him. Smoothing his hair back, he leaned against the side of the tub and looked out at the city below him. There were tiny people who walked in the streets. He wondered if they were laughing, joking and felt happiness. He was sure they talked about family, friends and love. A soft smile came to his face. All things he would someday talk about too. He wondered what Rae was doing at this very moment. Was she getting ready for bed now? He wondered how her day had gone. Closing his eyes, he pressed his cheek against his forearm and felt himself drift to sleep. 

 

*****

 

“Mr. Iwase! Mr. Iwase!” He jolted awake, gripping the edge of the tub. 

“What is it?” 

“Your neice has called.” A voice came on over the intercom. He yawned and lifted up. The water had grown lukewarm. He got out of the tub and grabbed a towel. Wrapping it around himself, he came out into the hallway to see a man standing outside his door. He recognized the man as his driver. Pressing the button, he spoke. 

“Thank you Daiko. I will take the call from here.” 

“Yes sir.” He came into his bedroom and picked up his phone. Sure enough, there was a missed call from his little princess. Smiling to himself, he redialed the number. On the second ring, a young voice answered. 

“Uncle Hiro?” He grinned. 

“Hello hime.” Her voice grew excited. 

“How are you? Did you make it there safely?” 

“I did. Thank you for asking.” She giggled on the phone. 

“Is it night time there?” He nodded as though she could see him and caught himself with a smile. 

“Mm. It is late here.”

“What time is it?”

“About 11 pm.”

“Ahh. It’s noon here.” 

“I see. Are you at school?”

“Ee.”

“Shouldn’t you be in class young lady?” She sighed. 

“Mm. But I had to know you got to America safely.” 

“Yes I am fine. I am going to go to bed soon. I have a big day tomorrow.”

“You do?”

“Mm.”

“Well I guess then I’ll talk to you when it is day time here.”

“Perhaps I’ll be better rested by then hime.”

“Okay Uncle Hiro. Please take care and rest well!” He laughed softly into the phone. 

“Thank you hime. Do well in your studies!”

“I will.”

“Okay.”

“I love you Uncle Hiro!”

“I love you too.”  They hung up. He fell back against his bed and pressed his phone against his heart. Hisae was such a sweet child. She brightened his days. Now with her worry at ease, he could rest. Curling up, he felt the gentle pull of sleep cast him into a sweet dream land. 

 

*****

 

In the morning, he got dressed. It was right to work. He had an interview with an American program this morning and then it was off to see his building. He opened his many suitcases and grabbed a razor. Shaving his morning shadow, he washed his face and smoothed some moisturizer into his skin. Brushing his teeth and combing his hair, he put on his freshly ironed shirt and pants.  Grabbing his suit jacket and briefcase, he slid his key into the inner most pocket in his suit. He stepped outside after entering a security code. He was ready. 

 

**** 

 

The lights blared down on him and once again, he felt hot. The woman who was putting unasked for makeup on his face dapped the small beads of sweat that had formed at his temple. 

“Not too much please. I don’t want my skin to feel heavy.” She blinked at him, her cheeks already starting to turn red. 

“S-sure. Your skin doesn’t need much of anything anyway.” He gripped the chair as she moved her fingers against his cheek. Whether intentional or not, it was starting to irk him. 

“Miss, I would appreciate it if you didn’t do that.” Her fingers stopped. 

“S-Sorry M-Mr. Iwase. Um, let me comb your hair.”

“I’ve already combed it.”

“I know but it’s apart of my job.” He sighed and let her comb his hair. She gently moved the comb to manipulate the hair to curve to the side of his face, giving him a small bang. 

“All done.” He nodded, his expression calm. 

“Thank you.” She stepped back and watched him get up, nearly towering over her. She cranked her head back to look up at him. 

“Have a good interview M-Mr. Iwase…” 

“Thank you.” He left the poor girl standing there and went to join the host. 

“It is so nice to have you Mr. Iwase.” He gently shook the woman’s hand. 

“It is kind of you to invite me.”

“We’re going to start filming in a few. Are you ready?”

“Yes.” They took their seats. As soon as they were given the cue, they began. 

 

 

****** 

Hours later he got home and unpacked some of his suitcases. He huffed as he sat down on his couch. He had a plethora of things to unload and a lot of things still arriving from Japan. He considered using an American car but decided against it. His Japanese car was just fine. He’d learn about the ways of the American road but was not going to inconvenience himself by purchasing a car that was not needed. His phone rang, interrupting his rest. 

“Mosh Mosh?” 

“Mr. Iwase?” He cleared his throat. 

“Hello.”

“Hi. I know you are probably getting settled. But I wanted to notify you of an upcoming gala in Times Square.” He pressed the phone against his shoulder. 

“Is that so?”

“Yes. I think it would be a great opportunity to introduce yourself and get to know your competition. It will be in November.”

“Ah.” Three months time.

“Yes. It is best to RSVP early to secure seats and travel plans.”

“Agreed.”

“If you are interested, I can send your acceptance.”

“Do so please.”

“Of course. On another note, I’m happy that you have finally arrived sir.” 

“I am excited to begin great things here.”

“Yes sir.”

“I will see you tomorrow.”

“Yes sir.” He hung up and leaned back against the cushions of his couch. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. He had schedules, meetings and visits to keep the rest of this entire week alone. His days were not going to be lax by any means. But in that time, he wanted to find the time to see the new city he would be living in. He had only seen New York in movies and television shows. He had never been outside of Japan before. He smiled. It wasn’t too late. Perhaps he could now. Getting up, he grabbed a coat and his key. Sliding on some shoes, he stepped out into the hallway. Zipping up his coat, he let the lights of the city lead him. 

 

****** 

“Excuse me?” On his way in exploration he was stopped. Turning, he faced a short woman who stared at him. He blinked, staring down at her. 

“Yes?”

“Um…May…may I ask what is your name?” He knit his eyebrows together. 

“Do you know me?” She grew closer and felt her cheeks grow warm. 

“You look like someone…” 

“I’m sorry. I’m not who you are looking for.” He bowed his head and began to walk away from her. Who was that woman? He continued, lured by the lights of the many establishments and the smells of food. He sighed in contentment. He should have brought his camera. It was just as busy at night as it was during the day. With the neon lights and bright glow, it reminded him of mid day. People were out and about as if it were not night. Truly, it was the city that never slept. Everywhere it was motion, colors blurred and fused into a kaleidoscope of movement. 

Food truck vendors called out tasty specials and the sight reminded him of Japan. At the thought of food his stomach growled. 

“Hot footlong dogs 2 for $5! Two pie slices 2 for $4!” His stomach protested and he sighed. He walked up to the man who had hollered out and cleared his throat. 

“I would like the hot dogs please.” The man nodded and prepared them in a hurry. 

“Five dollars.”

“Ah.” He reached into his small wallet and pulled out a bunch of American money. Fives…. Abraham Lincoln. He sorted through the money until he came across the bill that had the face of Lincoln. He handed it to the man and in turn he was provided with his reward. 

 

“Enjoy.” He nodded and bowed his head slightly before continuing on his journey. Taking a big bite out of the long hot dog. Before he knew it, it was gone and he had eaten half of the second one. Full, he headed back to his apartment. Exploring done for the night, he took a bath. All the while his mind drifting to Rae. He was about to begin his search and he only hoped that when the day came, it would begin their future, a future he wanted to seize. He smiled to himself as his eyes closed and his breath grew calm and deep. Rae was not going to make it easy for him but he was ready; ready to reclaim what was his. 


End Notes:

Evenin! Midterms are over and I am so happy! I have an extended break so I will probably be sleeping lol. I wanted to upload tonight. I am lowkey irritated cause I had typed a whole bunch and had to refresh the page and start over lol -.- I will keep it short this time... Shortest chapter yet... really wanted to get y'all ready for what's comin. I might upload another chapter tonight. If not, soon. I need rest lol. Because I feel like it, I wanted to tease you guys with a picture of Kentaro. Just a visual... that we both don't need but lol. Hey. Y'all probably don't need it and I probably didn't need to look it up but I did so lol. Okay y'all. Good night, good morning, peace! God bless and take care! 

D&L 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S- This is a still from a youtube series called FUROZUKI (The Colors of Japan). It's about traveling through Japan and seeing it through lens not typically known. I love the series and really enjoy it (other than the fine men that are in it lol). Japan is so gorgeous and they do such a beautiful job of documenting the many travels and journeys one can explore in Japan. There are 10 episodes so far and the last one (10th) was uploaded last week so it's pretty recent. I will put the link to the website as well as the first episode for anyone who wants to watch it :) It's a very great series. I hope they continue to make them. <3 In some of the episodes, Kentaro travels to some place that has hot springs. So in this picture I think he's in an indoor one. <3 He's in the first few episodes. 

On the website, there are colorful tabs in English, I'd click each but if you want to see all the episodes, click the 'Movie' tab :)

FUROZUKI Website:

http://www.asahi.com/ad/furozuki/

[FUROZUKI] The Colors of Japan Vol. 1: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oMUD1UYFPQ

Conclusion by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

She had been restless when she woke up and for hours just sat in bed. She wasn’t sure why she had started to reflect on how she had lived her life up until now. She had thought about everything. Leaving Japan, coming home. The path she had taken to get to where she was now. These things she tried not to think about… the things pertaining to him… But the memory of the young heart broken girl still came easy to her. She remembered it like it was yesterday. She had only been home for a couple weeks. And she had had such a hard time readjusting to American life. 


***** 

    

    “Rae, come eat dinner honey.” Her mother was met with silence. 

    “I said come eat honey.” She sat inside her room, knees pulled up to her chin. Licking her dry lips, she answered softly, 

    “I ain’t hungry.” She heard her mother sigh. 

    “Rae,”

    “I said no. Go away.”

    “I don’t know who you talkin to but I will break this door down. I ain’t Minako.” She hid her face in her lap. 

    “I don’t want no food Ma.” Her mother leaned against the door. 

    “Well what do you want?” Tears welled up in her eyes. 

    “I want Hiroto. I miss Hiroto.” Her mother sighed again and shook her head. It had been weeks and still this child cried for that boy. 

    “You have to come out of that room Ebere. Bein in there is not going to make it better.”

    “If I come out will he be there?” 

    “That boy is in Japan. You’ll never see him again. I tried to tell you honey. I knew this would lead to heartbreak. Falling for those foreign boys always leads to disaster. I told you you were moving too fast and you did not want to listen to me.” 

    “Ma…. you don’t get it…” 

    “What I get is that you said you was gon live happily ever after with him. And what became of that fantasy?” There was silence. 

    “Rae, you have to accept the fact that he only dated you because you were a foreigner and it was exciting to him. Accept it and move on. There is nothing more you can do. Sittin in your room weeping over some boy who wasn’t deserving of you is not the Marshall way. Nor is not eating.” 

    “You’re wrong.” 

    “Sweetie, he gon back to his own kind honey. It’s time you get back to yours and leave that boy and all the misery he left you with in the past. It’s time to rebuild.” 


****** 

    What her mother had said had broken her heart. She had expected her to take her side but instead she had hurt her with her words. Because of that… because of how her family reacted once she came back… she had cut them all off. Tre. Amee. The rest of her sisters and brothers. Her parents. She had stopped talking to all of them for a while. She couldn’t deal with it all. The heart break. On top of layered past pains. 

    She had started counseling once she entered college. And while there had met a fellow short girl by the name of Leah Williams. Lee as she called her was just as spunky and unbeknownst to others had a story too, just like her. Through college, they had become really good friends, almost sisters. She smiled. Speaking of Lee, she hadn’t talked to her in so long. She was long overdue for a phone call.  Maybe some time when it wasn’t too late. She got up and went into the bathroom to wash her face. She wondered how long she had slept. Her phone blinked in the next room, probably 100 missed calls by now from Kwasame. She sighed and returned to bed. Sure enough, when she glanced at her phone there were 50 missed calls and about 30 voice messages. Rolling her eyes, she pursed her lips. This man was acting like he was a high schooler. If she wasn’t still tired, she’d be irritated at the fact that he actually called her this many times. The clock read 2:15 am. She’d slept pretty good till now. She laid her head back down, tightened her scarf on her head slightly and closed her eyes. She deal with it all later. 


***** 


    After she woke up later that morning, she showered and ate some breakfast. Sitting in the silence, she sighed. Did she honestly want to be in a relationship right now? She felt like she was up and down… all over the place. A part of her couldn’t blame Kwasame for having such a problem. She was holding on to a man she was no longer involved with. But a part of her was almost defensive about it. At the very least, she had to talk to him. It was time to make a choice and make the best one for herself at this moment. Picking up her phone, she decided to call him. Taking a deep breath, she waited until he picked up. 

    “Little lady?” 

    “What is up with you blowin up my phone 100 times last night?”

    “I hadn’t heard anything from you in weeks.”

    “For a reason.”

    “I know sweetheart. I know.”

    “What do you want Kwasame?”

    “I want us to stop acting foolish.”

    “Look, I am not in the mood to go back and forth with you this morning. I don’t apologize for my actions, they were rightfully justified.” She could hear his breathing pick up. 

    “I’m… I’m sorry.”

    “You seem to be saying that more and more lately.”

    “I didn’t act like a mature adult. I apologize for that. But you not talking to me is immature too Rae.”

    “To be honest, I wasn’t going to call you but I decided it was time to quit playing games. This is not going to go away if we don’t talk about it.”            

    “You’re right.”

    “We’ll talk once I get to work. Meet me there?”

    “As always.”

    “I’ll see you then.”

    “All right.”

    


    *****


    As she was getting out of her car, she saw him standing outside. Shutting her car door, she walked up to him. 

    “You couldn’t have waited till I actually got in the building?” He swallowed. 

    “I’ve missed you little lady.”

    “Mm.”

    “You haven’t missed me?”

    “Not entirely.” 

    “I don’t blame you.” 

    “Is there anything you have to say?”

    “I just want to say I’m sorry. I said some things I didn’t mean.”

    “I’ve grown tired of this Kwasame. It’s not good for you or for me.”

    “What are you saying…” She looked up at him. 

    “I’m saying that I think we should break up.” He tightened his fists and his jaw grew tight. 

    “We’ve been together two years and you want to just throw in the towel?” 

    “I barely knew you when we met and two years later I still know close to nothing about you.” 

    “Rae,”

    “The truth is I don’t feel sustained anymore. I don’t feel happy and I don’t feel appreciated. I feel as though you’re dragging me and I’m dragging you. Why continue to do that to ourselves?” He stood there and this time, those two buttons weren’t unbuttoned. It was quiet for a while before he spoke, 

    “I don’t think I’m ready to let you go.” 

    “I’ll telling you I’m done Kwasame.” He swallowed again and looked into her eyes, the expression unreadable. 

    “I was willing to wait for you Rae.” 

    “You’ve been complaining about it so if it bothers you leave me.” She grabbed her bags. 

    “I’m going. See you when I see you.”  As she began to walk away, she felt an unexplainable feeling that hit her so sharp it took her breath away.


    ***** 


    “Ms. Marshall. It is nice for you to join us.”

    “It is a pleasure Mr. Rossi. Thank you all of you who have attended this meeting.” She smiled politely and sat down next to him. 

    “My executive Ms. Marshall shall be sitting in with us from now on.” Mr. Rossi announced to the room. They all looked at her, some approving. Some not. 

    “We hope she is as good as you say she is Rossi. You’ve pumped her up quite a bit.” Rossi smiled and looked toward the man who had spoken. 

    “I assure you she is. Don’t underestimate her just yet.” She cleared her throat. 

    “Thank you Mr. Rossi. But I prefer to speak for myself.” 

    “By all means,” She locked eyes with the man.     

    “I am aware that you do not think that I can live up to the high standard of this company. If I may be so frank, may I ask how you think I got this position?” The man paled and a few of the other executives cleared their throats. 

    “I am not sure what you are implying Ms. Marshall.”

    “I will clear it now for you ladies and gentlemen. I did not have to be propositioned, bribed or talked out of my clothes to get to where I am. Surely you think much better of Mr. Rossi. And if you don’t think highly of me now, by the end of this meeting you will.” There was an uncomfortable silence in the room and Mr. Rossi chuckled. 

    “The fair lady speaks and very well I might add. Now, if there are no more misunderstandings may we proceed with this meeting? Time wasted is money wasted and we all wouldn’t want that would we?” 


****** 


    “You made the right decision in staying Ms. Marshall.” 

    “And you were trying to ship me off to California.”    

    “I wanted to see if you would take the bait.”

    “Not in a million years. Besides, what would you do without me?” He chuckled. 

    “I would be entirely too miserable.”

    “Yeah I’m sure.” 

    “Why don’t you accompany me to lunch?” She lowered her cup of coffee she was about to drink from. 

    “I don’t think that’s appropriate. Especially considering the meeting we just had and the subject matter.” He grinned. 

    “I suppose not. When did you start to care about them?”

    “I care about my job and the reputation for this company.” He smiled. 

    “Good answer.”

    “The only answer.”  He sighed and started to walk towards his office. 

    “Good job today Rae. In all seriousness. You impressed the hell out of me.”

    “That’s what I’m here for.”

    “Ah, one more thing before I return you to your duties. There is a gala coming up in about three months.”

    “You tryna trick me into going?”

    “No. This time I’m actually notifying you ahead of time.” He joked, leaning back against his office door. She sucked her teeth. 

    “Mm.”

    “Will you accompany me?” 

    “Why can’t you find someone else to go? Why it always have to be me?”

    “Because I want to take you.” She rolled her eyes. 

    “I don’t know.”    

    “You should be jumping for joy Rae. These are the best opportunities to network and get in the know. That’s another reason I take you. You have the same passion for entrepreneurship as I do. I recognize it in you. That is why I want to open as many doors for you as I can.” She sighed and smiled at him. 

    “I’m appreciative Mr. Rossi.” 

    “So is that a yes?” 

    “It’s a yes.” He grinned and turned without a word and went back inside his office. She was going to get him for being so persuasive one of these days. Smiling to herself, she went back to her desk. Antonio Rossi definitely knew what to say to get what he wanted. But so did she. 


*******

    After work, she had stopped by her parent’s. As soon as she walked in, one of her sisters who sat on the couch called for her. 

    “Rae!” 

    “What?” 

    “Somethin on tv I think you might find interestin.” She yanked off her shoes and set her purse on the counter. In passing, she gave her mother and father a greeting kiss as she came into the living room. 

    “Today we have the honor of introducing a young man who has accomplished many incredible things.  His business which has done so well overseas is now pursuing a new feat on American shores. He comes all the way from Kyoto, Japan and his family is quite well known in Asia. Likened to the Imperial House of Japan, their family history spans many centuries. Ladies and Gentlemen, let us give a warm welcome to Hiroto Iwase.” She gripped the edge of the couch and stared at the television screen. The audience cheered as a tall slender man stepped up on stage. He bowed, his hands straight at his side. The lady clapped before sitting down. Some of the women catcalled as the program began. 

    “My, Mr. Iwase it seems you have a fanbase in America already.”

    “Rae, you okay?” 

    “I’m cool.” She sat down and glanced over at Amee who had been watching her. 

    
    “What?” A pursed her lips. 

    “Nothin.” They turned their attention back to the television as he began to speak. 

    “I am very flattered. I am grateful to be here. Thank you for having me.” The voice touched something deep inside her and she inhaled deeply. It was his voice. The voice from the past… but deeper. More mature. Her younger sister Erica blinked. 

    “This that guy you was datin in high school? His English is as good as ours. Ain’t he from Japan?” 

    “Yeah. He learned early.” Erica nodded and turned her eyes back on the screen.

    “He cute…”  It seemed even her younger sister had been taken by his charm. The woman started to talk again.

    “You are quite young to own a business but it is a feat nevertheless worth mentioning. What made you want to reach America?” The camera finally showed his full profile. 

    “You gon fall off the couch Erica.” Her sister cut her eyes and slid back up on the couch. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him herself. He looked so different… and yet just like she had known him. He had grown even more handsome, his hair cut short and professional. His eyes held confidence and he had that oh so familiar bland look on his face. But she had seen him behind that. She knew… it was a mask he had been forced to put back up. He showed no emotion, not even in his voice.

    “So this was your man huh? He fine but he dry. He like a robot.” Amee jabbed, grinning as she cut her eyes at her. 

    “America is a country with which we as Japanese aspire to model in many ways. What I seek to do is reach across borders and extend a international hand in the face of adversity.” She closed her eyes. His voice seemed to cut deep into her soul. She forced herself to open her eyes. This was a man that had chosen to let her go. She was not going to give him the satisfaction of her emotions. She watched the television, a focused neutral expression on her face. 

    “That is a wonderful aspiration Mr. Iwase. I hope that we can achieve that together.” He nodded and slightly smiled, the corner of his lip curled up. He looked so uncomfortable. 

    “I’m sure everyone is buzzing about this. And I’m sure you’ve received quite a few questions about it but word around town is you’re getting married.” He cleared his throat and smiled tightly.     

    “That is such a hot topic these days.” The interviewer laughed. 

    “You can relax Mr. Iwase. We won’t ask details.” He sighed and sat back in his chair. 

    “Too many people are concerned with my personal life.” 

    “I’m sure. You were once an eligible bachelor and now you are taken. Tough day huh ladies?” The audience whined. He only cleared his throat. 

    “Well I look forward to seeing you again and many well wishes for you and your new business endeavors. May America treat you well.” He nodded.

    “Thank you.” 

    “Mr. Iwase everyone.” The whole audience, mostly women, stood and cheered as he bowed low again before leaving the stage set. Soon after, the show went to commercial. She sat back and gripped her fingers together. That was certainly a surprise to end my evening. So Hiroto was in New York. After all these years… he’d come. Turning, she found everyone’s eyes on her. 

    “Oh come on y’all.” They exchanged glances with each other. 

    “How are you feeling about it Rae?” She shrugged. 

    “What is there to feel? He had an interview. Big deal.” 

    “Is that really what you feel?” Her father asked gently. 

    “Yeah. It is. I refuse to live in my past. It was a shock to see him on our television screen. But he sounds like he’s doing well for himself. That’s great. I’m not going to let you guys treat me like some damn sympathy card. I’ve grown up and I’ve moved on from him. He’s moved on from me. Leave it at that.” Her mother sighed with a soft smile. 

    “Okay then. I’m proud of you.”  She stood up and smiled. 

    “I’m gonna go y’all.”

    “Okay then sweetie.”

    “See you guys later.” 

***** 

    As she drove home, she came to the conclusion that if she was going to fully take her life by the reins she would have to completely leave what was dead as dead. The truth was that she missed him sometimes.. thought about him sometimes. She was trying so hard to forget him and what she once felt. But she realized just as hard as she had been trying to let him go, she had been fighting for him. Still, after all this time she was still fighting for him. Their love had been so raw and real. Something she wanted to experience again. Things hadn’t gone their way and for that she accepted it. That was how life was. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t.         She had made the best of her life after him. And she would continue to do so after he left New York, got married, had kids and went back to Japan. Her life was not dependent upon him. And at the same time… what did lying to herself ever get her? At the end of the day… She was going to let him do him. And she was gonna do her. With her crown readjusted, she could focus back on her throne. There was that one person that touched a Queen’s heart so much she would forever be in love with them. But sometimes, that Queen had to move on and do what was right for her Kingdom. Sometimes, the matters of the heart had to be put behind her. 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End Notes:

A/N: So... first lemme say that I am so glad Raebae broke up with Kwasame. He was a loser. Jerk. And everything in between. Nobody care about that British accent. Thinkin he can charm his way nawl bud. Two, what do you think of Rae seeing Roto on tv? :) ;D It's comin y'all. They gon see each other for the first time in ten years... Next chapter ^^ :D Let me know your thoughts as always! I'm off to continue editing and I'm probably going to call it a night. I've been up since 8:30 this morning. Funny cause it's not 8:30 pm lol. haha. Good night. Love you. God bless. <3 


D&L

Found by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

Three months had come upon him quickly and with the acceleration came the cold and snow. Before he knew it, Hisae had come and gone, leaving him with lots of pictures, laughter and warmth. She had enjoyed her first American Holiday visit and already was planning to come back. He had gotten everything squared away with the leasing contracts for his business space and had established a clientele. Already, within four full months of being here he was doing well as expected. Soon he predicted it would be just as big as it was back home. He heard the door bell ring and sighed. Unlocking the door from his keypad, he let the visitor in. In she came and she swallowed thickly. 

    “Hiro…” It had been at least a month before he had had any interaction with her. In the amount of time he had allowed her back, he had really tried to understand her. Was she not a victim of his mother as well? When they had met, they both had been young and impressionable. Both eager to please their respective loved ones. While he still saw Iwase Eri when he looked at her and he hadn’t forgiven or forgotten what she had did to him, he was willing to put that aside. For now. Tonight, a much more important matter was at hand. The gala.  He had made clear that if she touched even a hair on his head without his permission, she would be on the first flight back to Japan. She stayed in a separate apartment and was not too close to him. 

    “I don’t want to be late. Let’s go.” She swallowed and he walked past her. 

    “Hiro, your bow tie…”

    “I will worry about it.” She tightened her fists and followed him out to the awaiting car. Inside the limo, he reached up and finished tying his bow tie, having rehearsed how to do so previous times before. 

    “Of course you would not need a mirror.” Kiko said with a soft smile. He didn’t respond and let his hands drop from his neck. 

    “You understand what you are to me tonight yes?” She tightened her lips. 

    “I’m just an arm piece. Something to make you look nice.”

    “To the world we are to be married. I think by now you know that will not happen.” She lowered her head. 

    “I regret touching you Hiroto. I should not have done it. Now your heart towards me is cold and unyielding. I have ruined us.” 

    “Perhaps if I am feeling up to it we can reconcile.” She looked up at him, her teary eyes wide. 

    “You mean that?”  

    “Perhaps.” She nodded and smiled softly. 

    “Your heart however cold is tender.”

    “Tender to those who deserve it.” Her smile waned a bit. 

    “I see.” The rest of the ride was silent. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, turning away from her. This was a crucial stepping stone for his American foundation. He hoped Kiko did not ruin it with her personal emotions. The sound of faint music and laughing sounded from outside. They were here. 

    “Mr. Iwase, we have arrived.” 

    “Thank you.” He sat up straight and waited until his door was opened. As soon as he stepped out of the car, blinding light flashed, stunning him. His driver came around and raised his voice at the photographer. 

    “Please allow Mr. Iwase to get to the building before you take any pictures!” He tightened his jaw and turned, holding out his hand. Kiko gripped it softly as she stepped out of the car. He gently slid his arm around her waist and drew her close as they began to walk. As they made it to the door, it was pulled open and they stepped inside. Lush red carpet, sparkling candeliers and pictures of old American money covered the walls. 

    “Mr. Iwase! Mrs. Iwase! Please turn this way.” He kept his expression calm though he wanted to correct him. Turning, they looked at the camera. Kiko formed a small smile on her face and wrapped her arm around his waist. The camera snapped rapidly. He placed his hand on her wrist and gently gripped. She kept that smile on her face but she loosened her hold on him. More flashes. He pulled her arm off of him and took a calm breath. 

    “Can we get some of you alone Mr. Iwase?” He nodded curtly. 

    “Yes you may.” He looked into the camera and waited until they said he could go. Sighing, he turned to see Kiko standing stiff as a board, hands pressed together against her thighs, such an elegant formal hand pose if it wasn’t so tense. He didn’t say a word. She came to stand beside him, not touching him and together, they went into the ballroom. 


***** 


    They sat next to some nice people and they began to engage them in polite conversation. 

    “How are you young man?” 

    “Hello. I am well. Thank you for asking.” He smiled a bit. A older woman smiled and sighed. 

    “You’re quite the handsome one aren’t you? What is your name?” 

    “My name is Hiroto Iwase.”

    “You’re the newcomer!”

    “Yes.” A man who sat next to the woman nodded. 

    “It is good to see you here. I’m sure the cameras were all over you huh?” He laughed a little. 

    “Yes they were. But it’s okay. This is a big event so I’m not surprised.” The man smiled and glanced at Kiko. 

    “How are you young lady?”

    “I’m well. Thank you.” She answered with a polite smile. 

    “You look beautiful tonight. Truly you two make a show stopping couple.” He just gave a smile and reached for his glass. Once everyone had been seated, a man came to stand in the center with a glass. 

    “Hello esteemed guests! Thank you for attending the 30th Annual Aspiration Gala. I would like to introduce myself! I am James Kelley, the VP of Key and Greene. It is a pleasure to be hosting this event this year and on behalf of Key and Greene I welcome you new and old! We will be served dinner and spend the first half of our evening with some leisure and then the latter part will be to network, drink, eat and enjoy yourselves. We pride ourselves on providing young business owners with an opportunity, the right one. Without further ado, have a wonderful evening.” Glasses clinked and soon men and women dressed in black and white came to place their first course in front of them. 

    


*******

    The evening was going well and by the time they had all stood, he had come in contact with several promising partnerships. Many of the women and men he conversed with had been in the business world for years and had enough experience to carry them easily. He wanted to learn and grow from them. He stood against the wall, a beautiful chandelier hanging overhead. With a flute of champagne in between his fingers, he sighed and took a sip. His eyes found Kiko who was aways from him, talking with a woman. She said something and they laughed. His eyes went to the woman she was talking to and lifted his glass to take a sip. She had lovely skin, a smooth brown. She was considerably shorter than Kiko but had a more womanly figure. He took another sip of his champagne and couldn’t help but admire her. She was beautiful. He wondered who she was and who she had come with. Where could her date be? 

    He took his eyes off of her and looked around at the other faces which seemed to blur together. In a sea of white, there were two distinct colors that he found curiously interesting. That of his tone and that of the woman. Like him, she was the only one in the room who was of a color. He smiled to himself. How few and far between those of their kind succeeded in this world. He took a breath and as he was about to place the glass back on a nearby tray, he caught another glimpse of the woman. She had turned towards him and was searching the crowd. He froze, his hand in mid motion. Those eyes. Lined with black eyeliner, they looked around him. That nose. Those lips. Covered with a classic shade of red. His heart began to beat faster against his will.  She seemed to command his very blood and he was powerless to stop it. 

    “Sir?” He tore his eyes away and met a young woman who held out her tray. 

    “Are you finished?” 

    “Yes. Thank you.” He set the glass down and was glad when she walked away. His eyes found her again and they roamed her from head to toe. He felt his palms grow moist and slid them into his pockets. How was she here? The black dress she wore seemed to melt against her skin and it hugged her hips just right. She wore a daring yet tasteful plunge line and pressed the small black clutch against her stomach. He couldn’t seem to get enough, his vision hungry for the sight of her. 

    “Hiro?” He heard Kiko come up to him but didn’t look at her. Instead, he traced the delicate slender lines of her neck and the way the loose curls of her hair teased the skin. 

    “Who is that woman?” She followed the path of his eyesight. She tightened her lips. 

    “You’ve been looking at her this whole time.”

    “Who is she?” He asked again, finally turning to look at her. 

    “Why do you want to know? You’re here with me. Not her.” He frowned deeply and his eyebrow twitched. 

    “You are in no place to be jealous.”

    “She has a date.”

    “Who is she.” She rolled her eyes and sighed. 

    “Her name is Ebere Marshall. She works for the man who is all over her right now.” He almost broke his neck trying to look only to find a tall man standing behind her with his hand gently pressed on her back. He leaned down in a dangerously flirtatious manner and whispered something to her. He lifted his glass and took a slow sip as he watched him. He couldn’t describe what it was about that man but he did not like him. He didn’t want his hands, lips or any other part of him anywhere near her. 

    “Any more and you’ll combust Hiroto.” He cleared his throat and glanced down at her. 

    “Why are you so interested in her?” It was a long story, one he was not going to get into right now. He finished the flute and gently placed it on a tray as it came around. As much as he wanted to go and remove that man’s hand himself, he refrained. He needed to calm down. Everything within him screamed for her. But, he had to keep composure. He hadn’t come here for anything other than to connect with future business partners. He’d have his chance soon. Very soon. 


****** 


    After everyone had had their fill of food and drink, they talked. Kiko sat next to him starting to irk him with her exasperated sighs.

    “You’re free to leave if you have gotten tired.” He said, making eye contact with her. Her cheeks flushed pink. 

    “I wouldn’t want to leave you here by yourself.” 

    “Don’t be concerned about me. I’ll be fine.” 

    “The way you’ve been staring at that woman the whole evening I’m not so sure.” 

    “I think it’ll be best if you go. You should not want to stay if you are unhappy.”

    “I don’t understand how one look at her has you so flustered.”

    “It’s complicated.” Her blush grew red and she clutched her dress tightly in her fingers underneath the table. 

    “Complicated hm?”

    “Kiko…”

    “I don’t trust you alone with that woman.”

    “I don’t need you to parent me.” He stood, pushing his chair back. As he placed it back in place he leaned down and gently pressed his lips against her ear. 

    “Go home.” He whispered and pressed a kiss against her temple before he walked away. 


****** 

    “You have a fresh face. May I ask who you might be?” He looked up to find the man who had damn near been breathing down Rae’s neck earlier standing back against the wall. He took a deep breath and finished washing his hands. 

    “It’s nice to meet you.”

    “You didn’t tell me your name.” He turned to look at him straight in the eyes. 

    “Hiroto Iwase.” 

    “Ah, the new kid so far from home.” He chuckled. 

    “I take it you’ve come to welcome me. Quite a funny way you’ve chosen to do so.” 

    “What do you mean?” He grabbed some paper towels and wiped his hands. 

    “You’ve chosen to isolate me in the bathroom. I must assure you sir I do not like men.” The man’s face grew red and his nostrils flared. 

    “I beg your pardon!” He looked at him with a rather bored expression on his face. That made the color spread into his neck. He was looking at him for just what he was. Insignificant. 

    “I saw you looking at my date. You’ve been drooling over her the entire evening. What kind of gentleman are you when you have such a beautiful woman as your date?” 

    “I did not know that it was a crime to admire beauty.” He replied in an uninterested tone, looking him over. “Is she your romantic partner?” It honestly did not matter if this man was or not. Sooner or later, she would be with him. He’d make sure of that. 

    “No. Not yet.”

    “Quite possessive of her aren’t you?” The man glared at him. 

    “She is someone I am interested in.” He almost sneered but kept his mouth in check. 

    “I see.”

    “Your date is very beautiful.” 

    “Ah, so you were looking at her just the same.” The man tightened his jaw. 

    “Regardless of that, I came in here to tell you that the woman I am with is off limits to you.” That’s what you think. He threw away the paper towels and turned to look into the mirror. 

    “My, all of this because I’ve looked at her? Do I intimidate you so soon?” The man balled up his fist. 

    “I don’t think we should have such animosity on the first night we’ve met. Do you?” He faced him and extended his hand. 

    “Let’s try again hm? I’m Hiroto. It’s nice to meet you..?” The man shook his hand much too firmly. 

    “Antonio. Antonio Rossi.” 

    “Pleasure Antonio.” He let go of his hand. 

    “I believe we should get back to our respective dates.”

    “Agreed.” 


    


******* 


    The last few people chatted in the soon to be empty room.  It was getting late and most of the guests had left. Kiko had decided to leave and for the first time since the evening started, he could think clearly. He had his back turned as he chatted politely with an older gentleman. A small burst of wind blew across the back of his neck and he turned. Rae. 

    “I’m going outside.”  Rossi tried to keep her around him. 

    “Antonio, stop. I’m tired and my damn feet hurt. Talk to your people. I’ll be outside.” 

    “Where?” 

    “The solarium.” 

    “All right. I’ll try not to be too long Rae.”

    “Mmhm.” She waved as she walked right past him into the hallway. He watched as Rossi turned to continue to talk to those around him. His chance had come. He calmly excused himself from the man and walked into the large hallway. The faint scent of perfume led him down the hall and to the left was a door. He opened the door. The cold hit him instantly and he inhaled sharply as he to stepped outside. Why had Rae decided to come out here by herself dressed like that? For a moment, the memory of her standing for the train in her uniform replayed in his head and he smiled. She hadn’t changed. He looked around in the dark, the moonlight streaming in through the glass windows. From here, you would see the stars and they twinkled as if to encourage him. As he went around the corner, he found her standing there, looking up at the same stars. She sighed and wrapped her arms around herself.

    “Damn, why the hell did I not bring my coat?” She exclaimed in frustration. He couldn’t stop himself and replied with a grin on his face.  

    “You do look cold.”

 

End Notes:

A/N: It's hereeeeee!!!!!! What do you think? The next chapter should be up soon :) I wanted to post a picture of Rae's dress. <3 Y'all know I'm visual :) I thought it would be the perfect dress to kill Iwase wit lol. Any whoo, I hope you guys enjoy! <3 God bless and take care!

D&L

 

Here it is for you folks: 

 

 

 

Anddddd: 

 

r03; 

You by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"It's... you." 

 

 

SOUNDTRACK: 

YOU-KAZAMI

 

The entire evening had long since gotten on her nerves and she didn’t think she could handle any more of the prim, proper and snooty. Antonio surely was having a ball. He was taking full advantage of the fact that she couldn’t do much and because of that he had put his hands all around her. He was lucky they were at this event or else she woulda gave his ass a beating. Sighing to herself, she shivered in the night and her breath nearly crystallized in the air. So much for some not pursuing her anymore. Bruh was not slick. At all. She closed her eyes and tilt her head back, letting the cold air caress her neck. She couldn’t stay out here too long or else she was fixing to catch a cold. But this place had to be her favorite discovery about the whole building. She had found it by accident as she was trying to get back to the gala from the bathroom. The starlight had bathed her in its brilliance and for a moment, she felt as though she was in a magical mystery that only she knew of and here she could have all the visual beauty she wanted. As she was getting ready to turn back around and leave, she felt a cold chill. 

    “Damn. Why the hell didn’t I bring my coat?” She expected silence. But what she got instead was a deep voice that replied. 

    “You do look cold.” The voice startled her and she spun around, eyes wide. She stared, mouth agape. She couldn’t believe who was standing in front of her. He smiled softly and she felt her heart begin to pound in her chest.

    “Hi-Hiroto…” He stood there, his hands in his pockets.

    “Hello beautiful.” She felt tears suddenly well up in her eyes. 

    “Why are you here?” He sighed, the cold curling in the air. 

    “I am here for a lot of things.” His voice so familiar and warm was making her dizzy suddenly and she didn’t like that it was making her react like this. 

    “Things like what?” The wind blew around them, the chilly air freezing her skin. With the wind, it brought his scent and it drifted into her nostrils. She tightened her fists. It was absolutely ridiculous how good he smelledShe brought her eyes up to his. Her throat tightened. How dare he stand there like he hadn’t ever left? He acted the same way she remembered in her memories and she grew more and more pissed how easy it came to him. 

    “I do have a business here. It is my place to be here.” She rolled her eyes. 

    “Why are you out here with me is what I meant Hiroto.” He licked his lips. 

    “Am I not allowed to be?” She sucked her teeth. 

    “No. You don’t get to stand there and act like you been out of my life for five minutes.” 

    “Rae-”

    “What?” He was quiet. The expression on his face looked pained, as if it hurt him to even talk. Good. It should hurt him to talk. 

    “I came to talk to you-” 

    “I don’t want to talk to you.” She replied quickly, cutting him off. 

    “This was my chance and I took it.”

    “You shouldn’t have.” He looked into her eyes with a small smile. 

    “You still have that spunk. I’m glad you never lost it.” The intensity from his gaze was making her want to look away but she stared at him head on.

    “Look, it’s cold and I’m getting ready to leave. Whatever you have to say say it now Hiroto.” He sighed, his breath curling into a thin cloud of vapor. 

    “I missed you.” She sighed, her hands shaking. 

    “Good to know. I’m going home now.” 

    “Let me take you.” 

    “No. If you know where I live, you’ll never leave me alone.” For some reason, her body wasn’t moving. She told it to walk away but it stayed put. Her heart twisted but she bit her lip and inhaled through her nostrils. 

    “I don’t know what to say or where to start with you. I wasn’t prepared for this.” 

    “It’s quite a shock for me as well.” It grew quiet and she shivered, tightening her arms around herself. 

    “When did you get here?” 

    “Three or so months ago.”

    “You’ve been here this whole time. And tonight is the night I have to run into you huh?” He didn’t reply, just looked at her with that intense gaze. She lifted her head. Don’t back down. 

    “Tell me something Hiroto.” 

    “Anything.” 

    “That woman I talked to earlier. Was she your wife?” He swallowed. 

    “No.” 

    “So you never married her?”

    “No.”

    “Hm. Ten years with her and not a ring for one. Don’t sound like you are happy to talk about her. You didn’t seem happy to be around her at all tonight.” 

    “Quite observant as always.” She pursed her lips. 

    “Was leaving me worth it?” The time seemed to expand and it took forever until he finally spoke.     

    “No.” His answer was simple but held so much suffering. 

    “Sad you had to go ten years before you realized that.” She watched him step closer. Still her body didn’t move. 

    Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her flush against him. She let out a breath, the tears threatening to overflow. 

    “I wasn’t strong enough then.” She fought against the urge to lift her arms and press her hands against his chest. She wanted to hate him. She had tried for so long. And she thought she finally had succeeded.

    “I’m much stronger now.”  He spoke against her temple, his breath warm. His scent was so dizzying. Why did he feel and smell so good? So warm.  All these years later…he had control of her..

     “Let go of me.” She reached up to pull him off of her. There was a time she would have melted in his captivity. His arms once brought her peace but now it just hurt her. She didn’t want to be under his captivity any longer. 

    “Rae…” 

    “What?” Her tone was hard. 

    “Tell me something.” She didn’t reply, keeping her mouth shut as she waited for him to speak.

    “Have you completely closed your heart? Have you used up the last amount of love we shared and turned it into hatred?” His calm quiet question stung her.

    “Hiroto…” He pressed his face into her hair. 

    “If that’s so, I understand. But, I’ve never stopped loving you.” His warmth threatened to overwhelm her. 

    “L-Let go…” He let his arms slide away from her at once and slowly, he took his body heat away too. She stood there shivering, clenching her teeth. The unshed tears slid down her cheeks, cold as ice. He watched as the tears fell. 

    “You are such a bastard.” He stood still, letting her insult wash over him. 

    “I deserve your anger.” His voice was quiet, barely audible. 

    “I haven’t seen you in ten fucking years. And you come out of nowhere…. telling me all the shit I don’t need to hear right now…” He remained quiet and let her continue. 

    “I’ve tried to hate you. Do you understand? After all the shit I had to deal with you were just another traitor.” Her body shook almost violently and she tightened her fingers around herself. 

    “That’s great, you’re strong and everything. That’s great you’re going places and doing big things. But in the midst of that… did you ever think about me? Did you ever stop to think how hard and long it took me to pick my life back up?” 

    “More than you know Rae.” She scoffed, the anger within her tears turning her cheeks hot. 

    “You don’t deserve this… my time. My space. And keep your damn hands off of my body.” 

    “If that’s what you want.” She eyed him from head to toe. 

    “Look at you. Standing there like you were then. You’re not getting any pity from me.” His eyes grew hard with resolve as they flickered to hers. 

    “I do not want pity. I want your heart.” The ferocity of his statements took her back and she was at a loss for words. The man in front of her… the one she tried to see from her past… was no longer there. Her lens had shattered and in front of her was a warrior. Who wasn’t not taking any prisoners. Even so, her mouth opened and the words just kept coming out. 

    “You lost out on that chance.” He tightened his fists and the look in his eyes took her breath away. 

    “I’m prepared to wait.” His voice once overflowing with pain sounded much stronger with determination. She reached up and wiped the tears from her face. 

    “Don’t bother waiting for me. It’s too late for us. Us died a long time ago.” She gathered herself and stood straight, holding her head high to look up at him. 

    “Goodbye Hiroto.” Her voice was as cold as her skin. As she started to walk past him, his arm reached out and grabbed her pulling her against him. The breath whooshed out of her.

    “I will never give up on you Rae. Don’t completely rule us out.” She looked up at him, eyes wide. His fingers gently stroked her cheek. Against her will, the tears continued to flow, leaving paths of ice in its wake. 

    “I let you go before. I will not make that mistake a second time. This time, I will fight for you. However long it takes, I’ll wait.” He gently ran his thumb across her bottom lip, 

    “I’ll wait until love fills your heart once again.” He slowly let her go and she stood there, still. Words didn’t exist as she watched him walk away from her. She trembled, her skin tingling. Anger still dwelled in her chest but her heart weeped. It cried out for him. Deep within, it answered him.

    


******


    “Rae,” Hands gently rubbed her back. 

    “Come on boo. It’s time for you to get up.”  She groaned and turned over in her bed. She opened her eyes and looked to see Amee. She sighed. 

    “I just need ten more minutes.” 

    “No, come on Ebbie. You’ve been shut in this house all weekend.” She sucked her teeth and groaned again. 

    “What happened at that gala? You’ve been in space ever since you came back.” She blinked and tried to orient herself. She had been in bed all weekend. And had definitely been ignoring calls. Anger flared up in her chest, making it feel like a burning fire. Damn him. How dare he? Who the hell did he think he was? 

    “Never mind that. Where’s my phone?” Amee sighed and pulled it from under the blanket. Glancing at it, she scowled. 

    “Guess who…” 

    “You don’t even have to tell me.”

    “He’s confusing me. One moment he complain about everything, the next he crying wanting you back.” She shrugged. 

    “I don’t have no time for a nigga that don’t know what he wants.” 

    “You’re better off without him.” 

    “Good damn riddance.” She sighed and turned over before slowly putting her feet in the carpet. 

    “You gunna get up now?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Why don’t you call Lee? Maybe we can all go to lunch.”

    “Sounds cool.” She got up as her sister closed her door, leaving her in privacy. Stretching, she sighed deeply. Iwase Hiroto had hit her like a tidal wave and she hadn’t been prepared. She had spent the rest of the weekend in bed… reflecting… crying…all things she couldn’t stand that he had made her do. Ten years ago hit her in the face all at once and she had been cast out to sea. Too many things had happened. Her break up with Kwasame and then BAM Hiroto came. She hadn’t known what to do. But, she would figure out what to do. 

    She got in the shower and massaged her scalp. It would be time for a co-wash soon. She washed herself and got out. She came into her bedroom to find her sister staring at a picture she had on her small bookshelf. 

    “You look so happy here…” She tightened her towel and looked at it from her side. It was a picture of Hiroto and her with Tobu and the old gang. She had kept it pressed face down for years. 

    “I was.” She looked at Hiroto. 

    “He looks different here. He looks like he actually smiled.”

    “He did.” Amee smiled sadly. 

    “I remember the pictures you showed me of him… on your phone. The one you took on your birthday. The smile that kid had on his face was bright enough to light a thousand galaxies.” Her throat was tight suddenly. 

    “A…”

    “You saw him didn’t you?” She looked up at her, eyes wide. 

    “What?” 

    “At that party. He was there wasn’t he?” She bit her lip. 

    “Yeah.” 

    “Now I know why you been actin like this.” 

    “Like what?”

    “It may not be any of my business but… you’ve tried to make it work with someone else…. but it hasn’t.” She glanced back at the picture. 

    “You still wear his ring. You still have his pictures. You even still have some of his clothing. You’re not ready to let go of him are you?” Silence. Amee took it as an opportunity to continue. 

    “I know you mad at him. I know he don’t deserve to come back and pick up where y’all left off… right away. But…I love you so I’ma keep it real.” She faced her. 

    “You’re still in love with him Ebbie. And somethin tells me he’s in love with you too. The way all this shit been goin down with Kwasame and everything else… it was meant to happen. After all this time. Y’all don tried to move on but y’all can’t. Y’all ain’t supposed to.” She felt tears well up in her eyes and she couldn’t contain the small cry that had come from her chest. Amee pulled her close. 

    “Sweetheart, what you had with him…you can have it again. Just let it run its course. I want you to look and be as happy as you were then.”

    “He’s such a jerk I can’t… how dare he just…” Amee smiled. 

    “No one is gunna rush you. Forgive in your own time. But Ebbie, you need to forgive him with him. Maybe he can forgive himself when he’s with you. You can’t do it by yourself.” 

    “I wish I could.”

    “Ebbie, don’t act like that.” She groaned and lifted up, wiping her tears. 

    “Why did he have to come now? I finally got my life together and he had to come and hit me from the side.” Amee grinned. 

    “He came right on time too cause you just broke up with ol dude.” She sighed heavily.

    “Just take it one step at a time. You were friends before anything else.”

    “Yeah yeah yeah…” She sniffed and chuckled at her sister who was trying not to laugh. 

    “You know you miss him as a friend…” She nudged her and got a playful hit on the shoulder. 

    “Who told you to come to my house and get all wise on me? Dag. I ain’t ask for non this.” Amee finally let out her laugh. 

    “I’m your sister. You was gon get it anyway. And you know Lee probably would say the same thing.” She laughed softly. 

    “Yeah except she might say it like, “Make that nigga suffa.” Amee nodded. 

    “You know your friend is crazy.” 

    “Gotta love her.”

    “Okay so you good?”

    “Yeah. I’m good.”

    “Now, get dolled up. We’re going out. You, me and Lee.”

    “Well alright.” She was determined to make this upcoming so much better. 

**** 


    At work the next day, she found that Mr. Rossi had not come in which as very unusual. The man never missed a day of work in his life. For him to call in sick was something of an eyebrow raiser. She supposed this was her time to shine and put what she’d learned in all those meetings and fancy smancy galas to work. She smoothed back her hair and put it into a bun and sat down at his desk. Feeling the wood beneath her fingers, she retracted her them quickly. This was weird. Sitting at your boss’ desk in your boss’ office when he was not there. She felt so out of place. Sit up straight and stop worrying. Rossi left this to you on purpose. She could handle this. She cleared her throat and gently pressed the intercom button that went out to Jenny’s desk. 

    “Jenny?”

    “Yes Mr. Rossi-I mean Ms. Marshall?”

    “Are there any packages, mail or messages for Mr. Rossi today?” 

    “One moment please.” She heard ruffling in the background. 

    “He has one package from his business partner in California. Two letters and there seems to be something else.” She waited for her to speak. 

    “It is addressed to you Ms. Marshall.” Poking out her lips and scrunching up her eyebrows, she stared at the intercom. What?

    “A package for me?” 

    “Yes ma’am.” 

    “Could you bring it all here please?”

    “Yes ma’am. Right away.” She soon heard a knock on his door. 

    “Come in Jenny!” Jenny stepped in and gave her first the things for Mr. Rossi. The last thing she had to bend down to get and when she stood back up, her arms were behind her back and her face was pink. 

    “Jenny?” She blushed harder and smiled. 

    “I think you’re going to like this one.” She pulled a single stemmed red rose from behind her back and handed it to her. Attached to the beautiful red wrapping paper was a small note and a small box also was given to her. 

    “Is that all ma’am?” Jenny asked, a smile on her lips and blush still in her cheeks. She blinked and nodded. 

    “Thanks Jenny.”

    “It’s no problem ma’am.” When the door was closed, she stared at the rose. Could Antonio have sent her this rose? With his hooky self, she wouldn’t be too shocked. Kwasame? Him tryin to butter her up wouldn’t be a surprise either. Honestly, the man needed to gon somewhere. Her mind raced and she reached for the note, fingers trembling. Opening the small card, she saw the message and felt her heart speed up. 


    I hope this eases your mind and makes you smile. R. 


    Opening the small box, she found five wagashi, all different colors of pink, blue, green and purple. Sighing, she placed the box down on the desk. So, he hadn’t wasted no time making a move. So like him. Picking up the small pink treat, she glanced at it. It made her remember a time underneath the cherry blossom trees. Taking a small bite, she sighed again and placed it back in the box covering it with the lid. If he thought sending her sweets would make her acquiesce, he had another thing coming. He’d have to do better than that. Nevertheless, it made her smile… as intended. As she continued her work, she ate one until they were gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End Notes:

A/N: After ten years, finally Hiroto and Rae meet for the first time. There is so much pain within Rae's heart... and so much love in Roto's. No matter what, she can't fight what is in her heart for him. So, she'll come around. I near swooned writing this chapter lol. Hiroto know how to talk man. *dreamy sigh* Next chapter is still in the works :) Let me know your thoughts! Hopefully, it was a chapter worth waiting for! :) Take care and God bless! 


 


This how I imagine it would be if made into an anime (if my story was made into an anime I would freak out lol):



Yes I would make them make the girl brown and like legit brown.. not that "tan". BROWN. And she would have natural hair and would have a button nose and full lips and look like like a real black woman would look like. *sigh* That would be amazing. To see a love like this with a non Japanese character. 

Leeway (Slow but Sure) by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

 

    Christmas had come and gone and it had been much harder on Kiko than on him. He had long been used to spending holidays alone. But she had had these grandeur ideas of what Christmas was supposed to be like. She had called him the day before and asked if he wanted to do something. To which he replied no. Instead, he had spent his holiday in his apartment working. He hadn’t allowed himself a break during this time and because of that was currently exhausted. He sighed and looked out of his window upon the snowy city. It was nearing January, how quickly the time was moving. It seemed he had blinked and just got here.

 

     His phone buzzed as he put his computer down on the living room table. Going to look at it, he sighed. Let’s go to lunch. His stomach growled and he quickly typed an answer. No, I’m not hungry. But that was a lie. He was starving actually and his stomach served to remind him of that. He had been showing her the cold shoulder the whole time they had resided here. For that he wasn’t regretful. But the emotion did tire him sometimes. Today, he would allow it. He erased his answer and typed a new one. Be ready in 30 minutes. She replied back quickly. Okay. 

 

    He got in the shower and brushed his teeth. Putting on a warm sweater and jeans, he slid into his boots. Grabbing his coat, wallet and key, he put his phone in his pocket as he left. On the ride, he pressed his forehead against the cold glass. New York was truly a beautiful city when it snowed. But even so, there was something even more beautiful about Japan covered in snow. He was starting to grow homesick. 

 

    “Sir?” His driver called from the front of the car. 

 

    “Yes?” 

 

    “I was wondering if I could ask you something.”

 

    “Sure.”

 

    “Could I be permitted to take a leave for the Holiday?” New Years Eve was approaching.

 

    “You have family here Daiko?” 

 

    “Yes. I have a brother who resides in this city. Though it is not my wife and children, I am happy I have someone to be around for this holiday.” He was quiet for a while until he spoke again. 

 

    “Would you like to see your wife?” 

 

    “Very much sir.” He stared out of the window at the large white piles of snow that was covering cars, sidewalks and roadways. 

 

    “I’ll purchase a ticket for you to visit them.” Daiko smiled, he could feel it. 

 

    “Sir… That is quite a bit of money. Please reconsider.”  

 

    “It’s no problem. It is not good for a man to be away from his family.” 

 

    “How long will I have to be away from you sir?” 

 

    “You can spend a month or so at home. I’ll pay you for that time.” 

 

    “You’re so gracious Mr. Iwase.” He smiled. 

 

    “You deserve it Daiko. I will arrange for your trip later on.”

 

    “T-thank you Mr. Iwase.”

 

    “It is I that should thank you.” 

 

 

 

******

 

 

 

    As he stepped up to the door, he sighed. When he looked at Kiko, he wanted to see her. Not the face of the woman who had for so long tortured him. If he was going to try, he needed to be a little bit nicer. Licking his lips, he knocked on the door and waited until she came to, a soft smile on her face. 

 

    “Hi.”

 

    “Hello.”

 

    “Would you like to come in?”

 

    “Yes.” She opened her door and stood aside as he came into the house. The house had been paid for by his mother and all of her expenses had been taken care of. When was she going to decide to live for herself? At some point, she had to desire to live in her own shadow, not any one else’s. 

 

    “Are you ready?” He asked. 

 

    “Yes. Let me get my purse.” He stood, watching her as she grabbed the small handbag. He sighed and did something that shocked her so much she stood still. He’d placed his hand gently on top of her head, in an affectionate manner. She looked up at him, eyes wide. 

 

    “I am trying Kiko. I am trying to be nice.” She smiled and a blush came to her cheeks. 

 

    “Thank you for trying.” 

 

    “Do you want to know why I’ve brought you with me?” She blinked. 

 

    “I never thought to ask you.” 

 

    “The reason has changed tremendously. At first, it was a cruel reason.” She gripped her purse. 

 

    “A cruel reason?” He might as well be honest with her. 

 

    “I came here to find someone. Someone dear to me. I brought you because I wanted to make you watch as I became happy with that person.” She swallowed tightly. 

 

    “Why?” 

 

    “No one has told you the real reason you were matched with me. It’s unfair to you to keep you in such darkness.” She looked up at him. 

 

    “What are you talking about Hiro?” 

 

    “We’ll talk on the way.”  

 

 

 

******

 

    “Once upon a time, there was a boy who lived in the world, a boy who full of misery and hate. One day, his life changed and the flutter of a butterfly touched his heart. A girl came into his life and with this girl came freedom.” She was quiet as she listened. His eyes caught the greens, blues and white of snow from outside his window. 

 

    “It’s a freedom I sacrificed…in order to please those who didn’t deserve it.” 

 

    “Hiro…”

 

    “I chose to let her go. The greatest love I’ve ever experienced. For bondage. In hopes I would finally be what they needed…wanted me to be.” She swallowed thickly. 

 

    “That girl you speak of…it’s that woman isn’t it? That black woman.”

 

    “Yes.” She sat across from him, her fingers tightly clutched together. 

 

    “Why did it have to be her?”

 

    “I can’t answer that.”

 

    “What does she have to do with me?”

 

    “My family came into agreement with yours. Or rather… your half sister.” She grew still. 

 

    “My half…sister?”

 

    “She couldn’t have me. So she decided to use you to come between that girl and I.” Kiko shook her head. 

 

    “Hiroto stop. Aiko…Aiko isn’t like that. She would never…”  

 

    “You don’t know her or what lies within her heart.”

 

    “Impossible! She’s married… with a child on the way. How could she plot something so evil so young?” He closed his eyes and leaned back against the seat. 

 

    “Your family sold you to mine. And in return, they sold me to yours. It was an agreement made out of selfish manipulative gain. By now, we should have gotten married and had the heirs they wanted.” Kiko blinked and bit her lip. 

 

    “I can’t believe… it can’t be true.” He finally turned his gaze on her. 

 

    “The reason I have brought you now has changed as I’ve said before. I want to use this as a chance for you to seek your freedom.” 

 

    “My freedom?”

 

    “Perhaps you will get to a point where like me, you wish to no longer be a slave to anyone, even family. If and when you get to this point, I will help you.” 

 

    “What will you do with that woman?” He looked her straight into her eyes. 

 

    “I will make her my wife.” Kiko bit her lip harder. 

 

    “Do you realize what you are saying? You’d marry her… her of all-”

 

    “You feel you are superior to her?”

 

    “No… I…it’s not…”

 

    “It was time I tell you the truth Noa. Here and now. Do with the information as you please.” The rest of the ride was silent and he sighed. He had Daiko take them to a Japanese restaurant, one that was not too far. He was glad that they were still open, considering that New Years was approaching. He glanced over at Kiko and she had laid down, her face covered by her hair. 

 

    “Do you still wish to eat?” She slowly looked towards him. 

 

    “Yes.”

 

    “Come on.” He helped her out of the vehicle and together they entered the establishment. 

 

 

 

******

 

 

 

    Their meal had been silent and a bit awkward but nothing out of the ordinary. He had dropped her back off at her apartment. He hoped that she would desire to seek the truth on her own. Kiko’s emotions were something that would ruin her if she was not careful. He had decided to take a walk around his area to work off the food that he had eaten. As he started on his way, he took in lungfuls of crisp cold air. The burn in his lungs made him smile. Call him crazy but this was actually good weather to run in. By the end, the chill he felt would be long gone. He passed shops, the warm light emanating from them making him feel bright. 

 

    “I don’t know why you don brought me out here. What is it?” He continued on his way, looking and observing. 

 

    “I told you no! What more do you want from me?” 

 

    “I told you I would never let you go. Now you’re coming with me damn it.” 

 

    “Get the hell off me!” The voices in the background soon rose enough to draw his attention. He stopped and turned to see a man grabbing a woman. He proceeded to drag her. 

 

    “Let me go Kwasame!” The woman pushed against the man but he lifted her much smaller body into his arms. 

 

    “Put me down!” He watched as everyone who stood by only watched, no one did anything. The man quickly started to walk away and he tightened his fists. Why was it that society seemed to watch and do nothing in the face of danger? Were its citizens so frightened of what would happen to them if they decided to help another? He turned around and began to follow the man. 

 

    “I saw him on television. The pompous wanker. I won’t lose you to him. He’s not worthy of you anymore. Let me show you I can change. I can do better.” The woman balled up her fists and began to hit him in the head and shoulder. 

 

    “You gon have to do better than that if you want me bitch.” She hissed, grabbing his head in between her fingers. She leaned down and bit into the man’s ear. He cursed and reached up to pry her hands off of him but she held on, tightening her teeth. 

 

    “Rae, let go of me!” 

 

    “You shoulda thought about this shit before you tried me.” She replied, grabbing onto his ear lobe. He stiffened. Rae? That was Rae? For a moment, he was in awe at how ferocious she was, the fight that was in her. He couldn’t help but be proud. The moment ended as soon as the man yanked her away from him and threw her against the thick powdery snow. 

 

    “Oh hell nawl…”

 

    “Rae, listen to me…I don’t wanna hurt you. Just hear me baby.”

 

    “Get the ever loving fuck off of me. I swear on my life Kwasame.” He used his body weight as an advantage over her and pinned her arms into the snow.     

 

    “It’s not fair that he gets your attention. I’ve spent two years of my life with you and you drop me all because I didn’t fuck you right. What kind of shit is that?” 

 

    “Kwasame!” She yelled, growling. He’d seen just about enough. She certainly hadn’t lost the knack to get herself into situations. He came up slowly. 

 

    “Hey.” The pair froze. He eyed the man, cracking his knuckles. 

 

    “What the hell-”

 

    “It’s rude to force a woman when she doesn’t want you.” The man scoffed. 

 

    “You’re the asshole who made her like this. Before you came, everything was good.” 

 

    “Who are you talking to?” She asked, her breath heavy. 

 

    “Your boyfriend…” 

 

    “Why don’t you get off of her? There are other ways to handle this situation than to use force.” The man eyed him with hatred. 

 

    “Piss off.” He sighed. 

 

    “I didn’t want to do this but…” He grabbed the man by the back of his coat and yanked him back until he fell backwards into a pile of snow. The man groaned and got up slowly. 

 

    “She was mine. I’ll never let her go.” 

 

    “Shut the hell up Kwasame.” He turned to find she had sat up. 

 

    “Need a hand?” He asked, reaching down for her. 

 

    “Not from you.” She got up on her own and pursed her lips. 

 

    “What are you doing here Hiroto?” 

 

    “I believe I’m saving your ass.” She sucked her teeth. 

 

    “Ain’t nobody ask you to do that though so…” 

 

    “I was supposed to let him have his way with you then?” She shut her mouth, not making eye contact with him. He sighed and felt a rush of air as the man came towards him. He dodged a punch and sighed again. He wasn’t worth his time. He lifted his fist and punched the man square in the jaw, making him stumble. 

 

    “I don’t have the patience to fight you. Just leave her alone.” He said in a bored tone, eying him as he got up. 

 

    “You think you’re better than me? You think you’re such hot shit eh?” 

 

    “Get a damn grip on yourself Kwasame. Don’t try him.” She spoke up, her voice tired but angry.

 

    “Now you’re defending him?” 

 

    “Listen to me. Go home.” He spoke up, silencing them both. This whole thing was starting to give him a headache. And his once calm demeanor now was starting to become irritated. 

 

    “Gon withcha punk ass! Best believe Tre gon hear all the way about this shit.” The man would have paled if he could. 

 

    “You still have your brother fight your battles for you? You’re a grown ass woman.” 

 

    “The wrong woman to mess with. As you’ll find out. Now, go home before bruh man here stomps your face into the ground.” He inhaled and cracked his knuckles again and the man took a step back before running away like some frightened kitten. The sight was enough to make him laugh. He gripped his stomach and laughed until he felt tears well up in his eyes. 

 

    “Oh God…That was funny.” He stood up and wiped at the tears. She stood there, lips pursed looking beautiful and irritated. 

 

    “Glad you found this all entertaining.” He grinned, a laugh bubbling up in his stomach. 

 

    “How could I not? He ran away like a scared little girl. That was your boyfriend? Come on Rae, the least you could have done was find someone worthy to replace me.” She sucked her teeth. 

 

    “You’re an asshole, just like him.” The grin slowly slid off of his face. She shuddered and  bent down to grab the hat that had been on her head out of the snow. 

 

    “Great. I should have stayed home.”

 

    ‘You do seem to find yourself in such trouble when you’re not.”

 

    “Shut up Hiroto. Who the hell are you lecturing?” He put his hands up in defense. 

 

    “No one.” 

 

    “This night couldn’t get any better. First him. Now you.” 

 

    “Perhaps I should not have followed you.” She looked up at him, those big gorgeous brown eyes of hers shimmery. 

 

    “I’m sure that would have been better. I think we both know what he was going to do to you. Yet you would want that than for me to help you.” She swallowed thickly. 

 

    “Hiroto…”

 

    “I’m going to go now. Forget we even saw each other hm?” He turned away and started to walk away. 

 

    “Wait!” He stopped. 

 

    “T-Thank you.” He turned to look at her. 

 

    “You’re welcome.” She sighed deeply and bit at her lips as she came towards him. 

 

    “Um…”

 

    “What is it Rae?”

 

    “We’re not that close yet….Ebere to you son.” He felt his lips twitch in a smile. 

 

    “Yes ma’am.”

 

    “I don’t know why I’m even considering this…”

 

    “Considering what?” She nearly gnawed at her lips before she balled them up. 

 

    “A-Are you… hungry?” He blinked. She was asking him to eat? 

 

    “I could go for something yes.”

 

    “Well…um…”

 

    “Yes?”

 

    “Let’s grab something…quick I mean. Nothing where we have to sit down or nothin.” He smiled to himself. 

 

    “I see.” She rolled her eyes. 

 

    “Look, I’m only doing this because you did kinda save me just now.” He lifted his eyebrow. 

 

    “Kinda?”

 

    “Take it or leave it buddy. If not, I’m going home.” 

 

    “No… I’ll take it.”

 

    “Good.”

 

    “Where to?”

 

    “I don’t know…let’s walk till we find somethin.”

 

    “If that’s what you want.” She walked past him grumbling and he felt his heart flutter. He was slowly starting to work his way back in there. He had a long way to go. But this was a great start.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End Notes:

 

A/N: Slow but surelyyyyy they're getting closer. If even it's a rough start. So, pause. All the way pause. Kwasame has lost his mind. Dude gon get all them hands. Roto was just a warm up and he barely hurt him when he really could have. Now, I know y'all may be like dag all these years later and Rae still can't do nothin for herself? To that, I answer you with this... wait and see. <3 The woman ain't as weak as y'all might think. :D <3 I love their interaction (any really) but the awkwardness and tension is just so real like *sigh* Roto got hims a way to go but the trust will be mended. I can't get over Kwasame.... in the words of one of you guys, "He has to go." I'm feelin a WWE smackdown between Hiroto and him if he keep this up. Roto ain't about to let nobody put hands on his woman. OOH he get on the nerves lol. Just dancin on them lol. We get the answer as to why Roto has Kiko with him. A lot of y'all been askin why lol. So, bam there it is. lol. I think it's a noble reason, despite the situation. He's really trying not to let hatred enter back into his heart. Even trying to forgive her for what she did to him that night. Hiroto for the win! <3 :D  Okay, I'm off to continue writing! Enjoy! <3 

Cocoon by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 


 


This was not what she had in mind. Sitting in some cozy little Japanese spot across from Hiroto Iwase. Not what she had planned. Sighing, she couldn’t relax the purse her lips were in and she was starting to fidget a bit. Man this was uncomfortable. She tightened her fingers underneath the table and looked to the side, watching people walk to and fro past the window. 


    “Is there something you would like?” His voice brought her gaze away from the window and she twisted up her lips. 


    “I would like to go back to my house.” 


    “Not before you’ve eaten something. You’re cold and hungry. Not to mention the ordeal you just went through.” 


    “Man, you sure know how to read me huh?” She retorted sarcastically. 


    “I’m just concerned.”


    “Keep your concern to yourself.” She caught his fingers tighten on his cup of coffee. 


    “Ebere..”


    “Don’t. Just… don’t. Let me get something so I can get outta here.” She looked down at her menu and picked something random. Katsudon…. whatever that was, she hoped it was good as the waitress came to take her menu. 


    “Good choice.” Looking up, she found his eyes on her and felt her cheeks flush. 


    “What?”


    “Katsudon.” 


    “Oh.”


    “Thank you.” She moved in her chair. 


    “For what?”


    “Letting me have your time.” She swallowed. 


    “Well, you did save me so I guess you’re welcome.” 


    “Mm.” She licked her lips and looked around, away from him. Things were awkward and tense which made her even more uncomfortable. 


    “Ebere,”


    “What?”


    “Was that man like that with you when you were together?” She turned her eyes on him, his expression serious. 


    “Why?” 


    “I want to know.”


    “What would you do with such information Hiroto?”


    “It’s important to me.”


    “Is it?”


    “Mm.” Her face grew warm. 


    “Why?” She asked again, eying him.  He leaned forward, his elbows on the table. 


    “You deserve the utmost respect and tenderness. Regardless of how you feel towards me, I do care for your well being. With or without me.” 


    “I don’t think you deserve an answer to something that ain’t your business. Since you askin questions…how was it with the girlfriend you never married?” She asked, her tone haughty. 


    “It…wasn’t.”


    “Wasn’t what?”


    “I didn’t do anything with her.” 


    “In ten years you’ve never touched the woman you supposed to love?”


    “Who said I loved her?” 


    “Hm.” She let the subject drop and sucked her teeth. 


    “How long does this damn thing take to make?” 


    “Relax…” 


    “This whole thing is making me mad uncomfortable.”


    “May I ask why?”


    “What you mean why?”


    “What have I done?” 


    “Everything. Just… everything.” He grew quiet and lifted his cup. She observed him in that moment. Up close, his skin was a pale vanilla, the same beauty marks she’d once wanted to kiss still there, littered across his neck like dark tiny stars. She saw the shadow across his chin, some hair that was trying to come back. She couldn’t help herself as her eyes roamed him. His lips still so pouty and soft molded against the brim of the cup he held. His hair was short but still somehow, some strands fell away from the bang, going towards his eyes. His eyes turned down, a small trace of lively color in his cheeks. His shoulders were still broad and though he looked frail, she knew better. His once thin arms held some bulk to them, just right for his body. Bulk she knew was dangerous. He was still deadly. Still stoic. Still so beautiful. 


    “Your food is here.” He spoke quietly before their eyes met. She grew still, caught. He’d let her look… without so much as a word. 


    “Oh.” She looked down to find the plate had been placed in front of her. When had the waitress come by? 


    “I hope you like it. I’ll treat you.”


    “I don’t want you to pay for me Hiroto.” 


    “I want to.” Her eyebrow twitched. 


    “I don’t want you to though.”


    “Let me. I insist.”    


    “Whatever.” She rolled her eyes and grabbed the hashi next to her. Closing her eyes, she said a quick prayer and before she could catch herself, uttered a soft ‘itadakimasu’. Popping her eyes open, she looked up to find him looking at her. 


    “You still-”


    “It just came out.” She interrupted with a sigh. He nod and cleared his throat. She began to eat and wiggled in her chair. 


    “It must be good.” He mused, leaning on his elbow, his palm pressed against his cheek. Ignoring him, she continued to eat and soon, finished the plate. Sighing, she sat back, gently rubbing her belly. 


    “That was good.”


    “Glad you liked it.”


    “Thanks.”


    “It’s nothing.” She found his gaze on her and the softness within was too much to handle so she looked away. 


    “I should go.” 


    “Should I accompany you?” 


    “What for?”


    “Do I need to list the many reasons?” He asked, his tone careful. The corner of her lip twitched. 


    “Fine but not all the way. Can’t have you knowing where I’m at.” 


    “Whatever makes you comfortable.” They got up and left after he paid at the front. 


 


******* 


    They walked in silence and he couldn’t help but smile to himself. She was purposely keeping her distance from him, her arms tightly wrapped around herself. Tsk, she was always cold. 


    “Are you okay?” He asked, watching as she looked at him. 


    “Splendid.”


    “Would you like my gloves?”


    “Nope.” He grew quiet as they continued to walk. He gripped the inside of his pockets with his gloved fingers. Being with her again like this brought a warm feeling to his chest. Even though she was stiff and unmoving… he realized that any time with her was a gift. He could see the irritation and anger that tightened her body and facial features. Though he was happy to see her again, his heart was breaking. He’d caused this. He’d do anything to soothe the pain within her heart.


    “Hey.” He looked down at her, who had stopped moving. 


    “What is it?” 


    “I can walk from here.” He looked around at the surrounding area, dark and quiet, white snow everywhere. 


    “Are you sure? I can go just a little bit more.”


    “I said I’m cool.” He swallowed and sighed. 


    “All right.” 


    “Thanks for dinner.”


    “You’re welcome.”


    “See you.” He watched her walk off, his hands tightly in his pockets. 


    “Bye.” 


 


*****


 


    She buried her hands in her deep pockets and bit her lips which still tasted like the gravy from her meal. And that meal tasted like Hiroto’s money. Why’d she let him pay for her? She didn’t want him getting no ideas. It was good though. Sighing, she felt the irritation from this whole evening turn into anger when she thought about Kwasame. She had had enough of that man. To think she had put up with him for two years. She had tried to force herself to love him but it hadn’t been possible. But this was a whole new level of disrespect. The anger she felt almost glowed around her and she found her hands shaking. Who was he to pick her up like she was a rag doll and force her to go with him? She had made it clear she was done. Men don’t listen. They hear what they want to hear. They do what they want to do anyway. She’d handle this right now. Grabbing her phone, she called Tre. 


    “What’s up Nug?” His voice answered warmly. 


    “Tre, I got a problem I need you to handle.”


    “Who is it?” 


    “I need you to keep an eye on ol dude I broke up with.” 


    “What he do?”


    “If I tell you everything, you might kill him so I just want you to shake him up. Bruh might need some hands.” 


    “Rae, what did he do?” She sighed. 


    “He thought it was smart to follow me in public and damn near kidnap me. Like I said… he need them hands.”


    “Oh he lost his mind…”


    “I don’t know what’s wrong with him but I need that taken care of.”


    “Don’t worry. I got you baby girl.”


    “Don’t go crazy Tre. Just enough to get him to act right.”


    “Don’t worry bout it.”


    “Thanks bro.”


    “Anytime Nug.” She hung up and sighed in relief. Dude needed to know she was the wrong one to mess with. If she had to make a second call, it would not be so nice. Coming to her apartment, she opened the door and got comfy. Once she was calmer, she laid back against her pillows. Now it was time to deal with the other problem. Hiroto. She felt like they had gone back to square one, numero uno. It was like they had regressed and the whole  four year process they had endured had been for nothing. Ten years later, she felt as though she was just seeing and hearing him for the first time all over again. She felt as though her beautiful wings had been clipped and she had closed herself back into a cocoon, safe, warm and free from outside harm. 


    He could easily slide back into her life and with her emotions all thrown out of whack, she could let him. That was unacceptable. He needed to feel just how she felt all those years. If he felt miserable then good. While his life may have been bad… being with a woman he didn’t love… her life had been shit. She’d tried to pick up every single piece of herself he had shattered. Forgiveness would not come easy. He was such a warrior man…He’d have to fight for it. She’d make damn sure of that. 


    Taking a shaky breath, she felt angry tears well up in her eyes. She wasn’t prepared. How could she have known that he would wind up in the same damn city… how could she have known that time and time again, no matter how much she tried to avoid him… they would always come together? He was everywhere all at once and no matter where she went, he would be there. Not to mention the dreams she had started to have of him since that night at the gala. The dreams tormented her, provoked her. Times of a happy Rae. A happy Hiroto. Two beings deep in love’s throes. Deeply intertwined. She’d wake up crying. The visions of laughter, bare feet slapping upon the wet concrete and warm nights fluttering behind her eyelids. It would get worse. Moments she expected to have with him… only him. In her mind, different versions of the same thing happened over and over. She became him and he became her. They became one, their very breath conjoining. Skin hot and sticky, fingers tightly gripping each other, sheets, anything they could. His very presence had done something to her and now she was a mess. Late at night, she pushed away the yearning she felt for him. Only to be reminded in sleep. It made her sick. So sick. 


    “Rae?” The voice of Amee brought her to the present. It hadn't been too long since she had called her to come over. Tears streamed down her face and she sucked in a breath, turning her face away. 


    “What’s wrong Ebbie?” She asked, sitting down on her bed next to her. 


    “Nothin. I-I’ll be al-alright.” 


    “Ebere,” Gripping her covers tightly underneath her, emotion spilled forth like the ink of a fountain pen and from there it could not stop flowing. Cries deep and raw exhaled on her breaths and big tears splashed her legs. 


    “Ebbie…” Amee pulled her closer against her. She gripped her sister, her body shaking. 


    “I…I can’t do this…” 


    “Do what?” Her sister was soft and gentle…slowly massaging her scalp. 


    “I can’t do this. With Hi-Hiroto…I can’t.” She pressed her face against her sister, the tears soaking her shirt. 


    “Rae…”


    “I…I love him Amee….I fucking love him…” 


    “I know babe…I know.” She shook her head, more coming up from her belly. Amee began to rock her and after a while she grew tired. She pressed her lips against her forehead. 


    “It hurts right now… I know Ebbs. But…”    


    “No. I hate him. I love him. But I hate him.” 


    “You sure it’s hate?” She slowly lifted and pushed some hair that had gotten stuck on her face out of the way. 


    “All I know is that when I see him… I wanna beat his ass. I wanna make him hurt just like he hurt me. But I wanna kiss him and let him make me whole again.” 


    “You weren’t whole before?” She took a deep breath, tears refilling her eyes. 


    “I was empty for a long time. Instead of letting the right thing fill me, I looked for it other ways…”


    “Kwasame…” Her sister voiced. 


    “And others. I thought maybe if they filled me, it would fill my heart. But… I’m just as empty…” Amee took a deep breath. 


    “Ebbie, the only one who can fill you like you need…”


    “I know. I been neglecting Him. I got so out of touch with my faith. I stopped talking about Him. I stopped spending time with Him. I just left Him and tried to do it my own way…” She bit her lip, regret hitting her in the chest. 


    “The good thing about Jesus is that even when we treat Him like dirt… even we turn our backs and try to do it our way… He still loves us. He still wants us. Jesus has his arms wide open…He’ll take us just as we are, as dirty and messed up as we are. Let Him make you whole. Let Him show you how to forgive.”  


    “Yeah…”


    “It’s time you really decided for yourself Ebbie. What will you do? Who will you become?”


    “I need to get back to-”


    “Being you! Who you are at your core. Find her and bring her back.” Amee dapped at her nose and smiled as she got up from her bed. 


    “I feel like busting this guy in his mouth. Look how he got my sister. He dry and look like bland spaghetti noodles. Is he really this great Ebere?” 


    “You did not just call him bland spaghetti noodles. I am all the way done with you Amee.” She pursed her lips. 


    “Well. Bruh has has your heart for over ten years so I guess he must be something. But, you do need to do like Lee suggested. Make that nigga suffa honey. Make him sweat till he can’t sweat no more. Don’t make it easy for him.” She grinned.     


    “You soundin more like her the more y’all hang out.” 


    “Thanks to you.” Her grin grew wider. 


    “Well.” Amee sucked her teeth. 


    “What you gon do about Hiroto?” She felt a flare of anger flash in her chest but inhaled deeply. 


    “I’m gon stunt on him too shid.”


    “Make him wish he’d never let you go Ebbie.”


    “Oh I plan to.”


    “There we go.” She got up and stretched. 


    “I’m going to get myself together. And I’ll be okay.”


    “Yes you will.”


    “I feel better now that I don cried…”


    “Good! If you have to cry in front of him…do it. Let him see just how miserable he made you.” She bit her lip. 


    “Now, I’m gonna pop us some popcorn. And we are gonna have us a movie night.”


    “Thanks A.”


    “Cheer up Ebbie. It’ll be all right. Someday soon, you’ll be with your man again.” 


    “Mm.”


    “Okay enough talk about him and love. Let’s watch some movies about femme fatales or something.”  She playfully shoved her sister out of her room. 


    “I’m done with you. Gon get that popcorn started.”


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 

End Notes:

 

A/N: This chapter was emotive for me :) Rae's emotions are so raw y'all. She loves him so much. But the feelings of anger and bitterness has took the place of warm love. In life, we go through seasons. We all at some point drift away from Christ. This also is Rae's story of finding herself again and coming back as a prodigal daughter. <3 She's done wrong. Experienced wrong in her life. And she will get the ending she deserves. <3 My baby! <3 I had a dream today y'all about Transcendence and in the dream... Rae's emotions were seen by Hiroto and it was so moving and powerful. I was just like wow. I have to put that in the story lol. So, it's gonna get real with them. <3 I hope you enjoyed! 

Take care and God bless! 

Visor by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

** A slight time skip has occured! It's been a few months after the last chapter! :)** 


 


 



 

 

 

The voices of the associates and executives droned around her but the only one she had in her hindsight was the one sitting right across from her. He had his head down and his fingers held a pen as he wrote against the paper. She tightened her fist underneath the table. 

    “Ms. Marshall?” She turned her eyes on Mr. Rossi who was seated next to her. 

    “Yes?”

    “Is something wrong?” He asked in a hushed tone. 

    “No. Not at all.”

    “You seem to be finding Mr. Iwase very interesting.”

    “Not really.”

    “I see.” She cleared her throat. 

    “Excuse me gentlemen, if I could have your attention.” They all turned their attention to her. 

    “I propose we all take a short intermission. If it is all right with you all, we will conclude our meeting at 10:30 pm.”  They agreed and visibly relaxed some of them. Getting up, she gathered her materials and pressed them to her chest. She ignored the eyes on her and looked at Mr. Rossi. 

    “I will be in the break room.”

    “Go right ahead Ms. Marshall.” Without another glance in his direction, she walked out of the board room. 

 

***** 

 

    As she reached for a cup, she heard a soft knock on the door. Turning, she saw Hiroto standing there. Scowling, she sighed. 

    “You love following me huh?” 

    “You’re not the only reason I came in here.”

    “Oh really?”

    “Really.” 

    “Sure whatever.” She pursed her lips and filled the cup up with water. 

    “Ebere,”

    “Not now.”

    “Yes now.” He stepped into the room. 

    “Did you receive my gift?”

    “I received plenty of things from you over the past couple months.”

    “What did you think?” She tightened her grip on her cup. 

    “I shouldn’t be surprised. You are a persistent man by nature. But nevertheless, I was irritated that you sent them.” He softly grinned. 

    “I thought you would be.” She looked up at him. 

    “You sent them knowing I’d have an attitude?”

    “Yes.”

    “Hm.”

    “In all honesty, I just wanted to make you smile.” She scoffed. 

    “Nah you wanted to piss me off. Seems you still to this day love irritating me.” He bit his lip, the dimples in his cheeks deepening with the grin. 

    “Listen…I-”

    “Allow me…” He spoke up first. She pursed her lips and waited for him to speak again. He licked his lips and sighed. 

    “I have to be perfectly honest with you. I can’t stand right now is to be away from you.” She gripped her cup tightly. 

    “Please allow me moments… with you. Even if it is like this.” He continued, his gaze growing more and more intense by the second. GET. A. GRIP. She took a breath and looked into his eyes. 

    “No.” Taking a small sip from her cup she then tossed the water into the sink. 

    “No?”

    “You heard me the first time Hiroto.” 

    “I understand.”

    “You don’t get brownie points for sending me gifts sweetheart. That don’t get you time with me.” She turned around and walked up to him. 

    “You gotta earn that right buddy.” She said, poking him in the chest. He smiled to himself. 

    “You are right. My intention was not to win you with material possessions.” 

    “Hm. I can’t tell.” She took her finger away from his person and stood up straight. 

    “Well this was great and all but this little meeting is over. We gotta get back to the real thing.”

    “Wait a minute.” His gaze drew her in and warmth flushed her cheeks. Danger. DANGER.  

    “What is it?” He smiled softly. 

    “You do realize that at some point, we are going to have to talk about everything.” 

    “There’s nothing to talk about. I said everything I had to that night at the gala.” 

    “Ebere,”

    “Discussion over. Move.” A vein in her temple throbbed when he didn’t. 

    “There is so much yet we haven’t said. Keeping it inside is not healthy.” She rolled her eyes. 

    “Don’t make it harder than it has to be Rae.”  

    “Don’t make me seem like I’m the one with the problem! You’re the one making this difficult! No one asked you to send me anything. No one asked you to play detective and track me down. And no one asked you to even be here.” Before he was given a chance to reply, she left him standing there in the break room, the smell of coffee and refrigerated lunches giving her a headache. 

 

******* 

    It has been months since that gala. Winter had come and gone and by now tiny flower buds were trying to spring up from the earth. He had been here for almost a year now, in the United States. He had come to see the old year pass away and step into the new one. And he felt as though the heart of the woman he loved grew ever colder towards him. Even more so now that she had been regularly attending meetings with him and other executives. Rossi had taken a short leave sometimes, placing her in command in his absence. She couldn’t stand being in the same room with him for more than she had to. It hurt him. But, he pushed on. Someday, the pain in her heart would no longer be there and that was when he could breathe. 

    “Mr. Iwase?” He lifted his gaze to find her looking at him. 

    “Ms. Marshall?”

    “Did you hear what I said?” He cleared his throat. 

    “If you would be so kind as to repeat it I’d appreciate it.” She nodded. 

    “I was speaking with everyone on how we can improve this new year. Do you have any suggestions?” He sat up straighter. 

    “Within our respective ventures?”

    “Yes.” 

    “If she asked you about our business you wouldn’t be able to give any suggestions Iwase. We are after all opponents.” Rossi spoke up behind her, a smug grin on his face. He set uninterested eyes on him. 

    “That’s completely irrelevant to the question asked Mr. Rossi. And respectfully, please address me as Mr. Iwase. Now, I do believe instead of looking at each other as opponents we should look at each other as members of the same community. We all are trying to succeed. Instead of pushing the next man out of the way, my suggestion is to work together to achieve the overall goal at hand.” A man who sat next to him sniggered. 

    “A typical response from the Oriental population. Listen newcomer, in America, we don’t do that here. We strive to be the best.” It grew hushed as everyone stared in shock. He turned to him, cool and collected. 

    “Pray tell John, how is that working out for you?” Some of the guys laughed under their breath. John grew red in the face. 

    “Well…I…”

    “As I thought. Perhaps you should remain silent before you further make a fool out of yourself.” 

    “Gentlemen,” John grew beet red and his lips drew up tight. He however turned his eyes back on the lovely woman who eyed them with a stern look. 

    “If you want to act like children, go do that somewhere else. We are in a meeting.” 

    “Hm.” John grunted and looked away. 

    “My sincerest apologies.” He spoke softly, slightly bowing his head. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. 

    “I think we’re done for today. That’ll be all for now.” She got up and stacked her documents. Rossi stood and soon followed her out of the board room like a lovesick puppy. 

    “Way to shut him down Hiro.” A nice fellow by the name of Darius said with a small grin. He occasionally accompanied him for drinks after late nights at the office. 

    “He most definitely had it coming.” Darius snickered. 

    “He’s known to be the office prick. Always looking down on others who he feels isn’t “American” enough.” 

    “That was unacceptable how he humiliated you in front of everyone Hiro.” Another one of his drinking buddies spoke up, coming to stand next to Darius. 

    “He may have intended to humiliate me but in the end, only he was.” Darius slapped him on the back. 

    “Good job holding your own! Most of these guys are seasoned vets. You’re the underdog.  I guess you were prepared to take some shots. Always happens to the best of us just starting out. Hopefully, it lessens.” He nodded with a small friendly smile.

    “Will I see you tonight at the usual place?” Darius chuckled. 

    “You know it man.” As they all began to leave, he gathered his things. He would continue to hold it together around Rossi. He knew he did it to get on his nerves and assert himself around Rae. As he would learn, all that effort would be wasted. 

***** 

 

    “What is wrong with you?” 

    “What do you mean?”

    “Why are you purposely throwing shade at Mr. Iwase?” Rossi sat back in his chair, hands folded behind his head. 

    “Throwing shade?” She sucked her teeth. 

    “Don’t make me act unprofessional today Mr. Rossi.” He grinned. Oh, this was funny to him?

    “Tell me why you insist on publicly humiliating him every time he comes to a meeting?” 

    “Are you defending him Ms. Marshall?” She snort and rolled her eyes. 

    “Who said anything about defending him?”

    “I noticed you staring at him today. Quite intensely I might add.” 

    “Okay you are trippin. You act like he was the only man in the room.” 

    “It might as well have been that way.”

    “Okay listen..first of all you are my boss. Not my man. I do not need you to monitor who I look at and how many times I do it. Second, whatever you got going on with him is your business. For the sake of Affinity, I implore you not to show face in front of competition. Keep it together.” That silenced him with the quickness. For once, he was quiet. 

    “I’m going to excuse myself.” She turned around and walked out of his office. She had about had it today. First she had to look at Hiroto all morning and then for Antonio to be tryna act like her damn daddy…

    “Rae?” She looked at Shelley who had come down the hall. 

    “Hey. What’s up?” 

    “How did the meeting go?” 

    “Girl. Do not get me started. Rossi was throwing shade at Mr. Iwase and then him and some other executive got into a tiff and… it was too much.” 

    “He’s been doing that a lot lately. What is it with Iwase and him?” She knew what ‘it’ was all right. And it was irritating the mess out of her. 

    “You know how men are. They always gotta compete with each other. Get on my nerve.” Shelley sighed. 

    “Well speaking of Iwase…He’s standing by your cubicle.” 

    “Say what?” 

    “He’s not looking at anything. I don’t even think he knows it’s your cubicle.”     

    “Gotta go.” She near flew into the office room and sure enough, there dude was standing right there. Take a breath. Don’t lose your chill. 

    “Can I help you?” She asked, coming up behind him. He turned to face her. 

    “Ah…Rae..”

    “Ebere to you.” He bit his lip. 

    “What do you want?” She asked next, irritation rising in her chest. 

    “Is this where you work?”

    “Why?”

    “I figured because of how fast you rushed over here.”

    “I don’t really want you over here.” 

    “Ah…”

    “So..you gonna move?” 

    “Not entirely.” She eyed him with the quickness, the irritation growing into anger. 

    “Hiroto,” She said under her breath. 

    “Ebere,” 

    “Are you trying to piss me off?” 

    “No.” 

    “You are working your way there. Now, I’m gon ask you again to move.” 

    “I will. Only on the condition that you let me take you to lunch.” 

    “I refuse to go anywhere with you.” 

    “Then here I stay.” She rolled her eyes and scoffed loudly, drawing eyes and ears. It had grown deafly quiet. They was listening for a single word. 

    “Come with me.” She grabbed his suit sleeve and near dragged him out into the hallway, past the elevators to a small enclave. 

    “Do you not understand that I want absolutely nothing to do with you?” She hissed softly, looking around for persons who might pass. He slid his hands into his pockets and stood there like some damn marble statue. 

    “Do you not understand how much I need you?” He replied back with a calm tone. 

    “You don’t get to do that. Walk out of my life for 10 years and then expect me to cater to your needs. I don’t give a damn about your needs Hiroto.” His jaw tightened but otherwise he didn’t speak. 

    “I put up with you because I have to. But outside of work, I don’t want to see you, hear you or even be near you.” She continued, her eyes starting to fill with hot angry tears. 

    “It breaks my heart to witness just how much I have hurt you.” 

    “Good. Let every piece shatter.” She spit out, the tears starting to fall. 

    “Rae…” She lifted shaky hands to her face. 

    “Damn it. I was not going to cry at work… in front of you…”

    “Rae,” She heard voices and quickly looked for a restroom. Not here. Why did her tears have to come now?! Before she could say anything, she felt Hiroto grab her hand and pull her away from the small cluster of chairs. They stepped into the elevator and soon exited the building. 

    “Where the hell are you taking me?” She protested, yanking against him. 

    “To a place where you can be free to cry in the open and not fear those around you.” 

    “Hiroto-”

    “Look, right now I’m not trying to be anything but of help.” 

    “But I didn’t ask for your-” She shut her mouth as he gently moved her into the passenger seat of his car. He didn’t say a word as he got in and drove off. 

 

****** 

 

    His heart was pumping hard against his chest. He knew he had taken a huge risk by doing this. But, he knew how stubborn she was. He knew that she needed to release the pain she held in her heart. And whether or not she asked for his aid was out of his concern right now. He wanted to take care of her… He tightly gripped the stirring wheel and once he came to a red light glanced over at her. She had her hands gripped tightly together in her lap and she was looking out of the window. He swallowed thickly and opened his mouth to speak. 

    “Perhaps you should call your boss and let him know you’re gone.” She didn’t respond. 

    “Rae,”

    “Stop talking.” She said softly, her tone hard. He turned his eyes back on the road and began to drive again. As they drove, they came across water, its blue coloration rich and wide. He came into a parking lot and soon shut off his car. They sat in silence. 

    “Rae I want you to get out.” 

    “No.”

    “You need this.”

    “Need what? You kidnapping me?” 

    “You know damn well it’s not kidnapping.”

    “Last time I checked I didn’t consent to going with you so what the hell is it?” He sighed and got out. Opening her car door, he leaned over slightly into the car, his gaze on her. 

    “Come on.” 

    “Why?”

    “You’ll see.”

    “I don’t wanna see. I want you to tell me.”

    “I brought you here because you need to start your healing process Ebere.”

    “I’ve healed.” He gently lifted her chin which quivered underneath his fingers. 

    “No sweetheart. You haven’t even begun.” Tears welled back up in her eyes. 

    “I was fine. Before you… you came.” 

    “Be honest with yourself. Were you really?” She closed her eyes as tears continued to flow. 

    “Take my hand. Come on.” He said softly, extending his hand. She sniffed and tightened her jaw before slowly letting her fingers touch his. He tenderly grabbed her hand and lifted her out of the car. Together, they began to walk onto the pavement, the water down below crashing against some rocks. She had long ago let go of his hand and instead chose to wrap her arms around her waist. 

    “Do you want to get closer to the water?” He asked, looking at her. 

    “I don’t know.” She answered noncommittally. He would get her closer. They walked until they stood in the tan sand, the waves of the lake lapping at the shore. Leaning down, he slowly slid out of his socks and shoes and let the warm sand sink between his toes. He watched as she soon did the same and took a deep breath of the air.     

    “You never understood no.” She said after a while of silence. 

    “I understood quite well with you. And I never went against it.” He replied. She shifted her gaze away from him. 

    “Hiroto,”

    “I give you permission…” She sucked her teeth. 

    “Permission to do what?” When she brought her eyes back to his, she grew still. 

    “Permission to let out any frustration on me. If you must, hit me. Yell at me. I’ll stand here and take it.” She blinked, those beautiful brown eyes of hers growing watery. 

    “Hiroto…” 

    “I can’t even begin to express how deeply regretful I am Rae…but… this is something I must let you do.” Before he knew it, she was pushing him. 

    “Let it out…” He said as she began to cry suddenly. 

    “I…I…can’t do this…” She weeped, gripping his suit jacket. 

    “Yes you can. Forget about me. Do you want to continue your life this way? Hm?” He gently wrapped his arms around her shaking form. 

    “N-no…”

    “To move on, you must release it. Not for me or for anyone else. Do it for you.” She lifted her eyes to his. 

    “Fine.” She pulled back from him and slapped him hard across the cheek. Pain shot through his jaw and crept down towards his neck.

    “Since I saw you again… I have wanted to beat your ass.” He inhaled deeply and tightened his fists.

    “I would let you.” 

    “If I could take all the pain you caused me and give it back to you I would.” She balled up his jacket. 

    “I was ready to give you my life…I would have waited for you. I would have done anything… to be with you Hiroto.” He tightened his jaw as she stood in front of him, trembling with the raw emotion of pain. 

    “I’m sorry…”

    “No!” She pushed him and hit him again. 

    “Sorry is not good enough! You chose some dry clueless bitch over me and for what?! All because Mommy told you to?!” 

    “Rae-”

    “Shut up! I’m talking!” Hurt was making her dizzy… she swayed in it. It was then that he realized that she had kept over 10 years of emotion inside. All of it had to come out. 

    “You promised me you would never hurt me… but you cut me deeper than any blade. Out of all the men I have been with… you left the most painful scar. And it doesn’t make sense…. I never made love to you… but you got in my damn soul Hiroto… You rested there in my spirit. You were a part of me…” He was beyond words. 

     “I tried to compensate… over the years and it never worked. Person after person… body after body… but I never felt full. And here you come and…and…” She fell to her knees and silently shook, tears making the sand dark. 

    “Rae…” He came to his knees and gently held her. 

    “After all this time… I still can’t let go of you. How can you just come back in my life and completely ruin and brighten my world at the same time…” He couldn’t say a word and held tighter onto her. She pressed her face against his chest. 

    “I don’t know when I’ll be ready to let you in again…”

    “I’ll wait. It doesn’t matter when.” She took a shaky breath and looked up at him. 

    “We were so in love. We deserved better than this. Why must we continue to hurt each other?” She asked, her tone broken. 

    “In our youth, we made decisions that were not wise.”

    “And now?” 

    “Now, we’re older. We know better.”

    “…Mm…”

    “Do you feel better?” She sighed and closed her eyes. 

    “A little. I still have so many emotions.”

    “We have been apart from each other ten years…” He leaned down and pressed his cheek against the top of her head. 

    “I missed you baby.” He whispered against her. 

    “I… I missed you… too.” She leaned up and slowly slid fingers into his hair. He closed his eyes and sighed.

    “I haven’t done this in ten years… God… I missed it.” He couldn’t help but smile. 

    “Me too.” She took her fingers out of his hair and clasped them in her lap. 

    “I guess you want me to thank you.”

    “No thanks necessary.”

    “Good cause you wasn’t getting one.” She reached up and wiped the tears from her cheeks. 

    “I think I’m done. You can take me back now.” 

    “Okay.” 

**** 

    She felt a way about it all. Crying, losing her cool and everything. But, if she were honest… it felt good to let it go. And he needed to see just how much damage he had done. Even though she wouldn’t say it… she was the slightest bit thankful he had brought her. By now, the tears had dried on her skin and she knew her makeup was a bust. When she got back to work, in through the side way it was for her until she could slip into a bathroom. As he made a right turn, her phone buzzed. Uh-oh. Antonio. With both of them gone, it wasn’t hard to tell they had been together. The last thing she wanted was for nosey co workers to start asking questions. Picking it up, to her surprise she didn’t see Antonio’s number. Instead, it was Amee. Scrunching her eyebrows together, she answered. 

    “A?”

    “Hey.”

    “What’s up? Why’re you callin this early? I’m at work.”

    “I know…” Something about her tone was off. 

    “Amee, what’s wrong?” 

    “Can you meet me somewhere?”

    “I’m at work I can’t just leave.” 

    “You’re out…” How did she-

    “I just called the office and they said you stepped out…”

    “Yeah but… only for lunch…”

    “Ebbie, we need to talk… it’s important…” Again, her brows furled. Everything from her tone to the way her stomach felt in that moment said WRONG. 

    “O-Okay… um… where you wanna meet?” 

    “Let’s meet at Joe’s.”

    “Okay.”

    “Fifteen minutes.”

    “Sure.”

    “What’s this about Amee? You’re startin to scare me.” It was silent for a while before she answered. 

    “It’s just time you took your visor off.” 

    “What?”

    “I’ll talk to you when you get here.” 

    “S-sure.”  Hanging up, she gripped the phone. 

    “Is everything alright?” She bit her lips as she put her phone back in her purse. 

    “Can you take me somewhere?” He nod before turning his eyes back on the road. 

    “Where to?”

    “Do you know a place called Joe’s?” 

    “No.”

    “I’ll show you the way. We’re not too far.” 

    “All right.” Visor… what did Amee mean by time to take the visor off? What was going on? By the feeling in her stomach, something was telling her the talk she was about to have with her sister was not going to be a good one. As she gave Hiroto the last set of directions, they pulled into the parking lot of Joe’s. She waited until he turned off the car to speak. 

    “I don’t know what’s getting ready to happen. But…”

    “I’m coming with you. I’ve left you alone far too many times. This time, we’re going together.” She sighed and got out of the car. Here she went…

****** 

    She looked so nervous. It was starting to make him grow a tiny bit anxious. He found himself sitting across from a woman who called herself Rae’s sister. And as if they had taken a time trip back into the past, Rae was currently squeezing his hand underneath the table. More than likely instinct. He observed the woman across from him the entire time and was careful not to speak unless absolutely necessary. They had only been there five minutes but Rae had yet to calm down. 

    “So, you’re Hiroto I take it?” She spoke, looking him from head to table length. 

    “I am.” 

    “It figures you two would be together… even now.”

    “Amee…” This was the first time Rae had spoken since getting there. 

    “Yeah?”

    “What is going on?”

    “I had to do this. I couldn’t stand you not knowing any more.”

    “Not knowing about what?” 

    “I’ll get to that in a minute. But first, let me finish with Mr. Japanese Freeze over here.” 

    “Excuse me?”

    “Nah, you don’t get to talk. If we weren’t in a public place, I would kick your ass. I don’t think you understand just how much you messed my sister up. She’s still in love with you… broken heart and all. Even I don’t want to forgive you and I never met you a day of my life till now. I got the biggest problem with you Mr. Hiroto Iwase. If you think Ebbie is going to just come flying back to you think again son. She’s not going to make it easy by far.” If things weren’t so serious, he’d have laughed. She was just like her sister. He could clearly see that the spunk she had ran in the family of women. 

    “I am well aware.” 

    “Hm.” Slowly, Rae was letting go of her death grip on his hand. 

    “Amee start talkin…” Her sister took a sip of her water and tightened her jaw. 

    “Ebbie… the… the family’s… they’ve been lying to you.” 

    “Lying to me? About what?” Amee looked down. 

 

    “Everything.”


End Notes:

A/N: Hey y'allll!!!!! *hugs you* I've missed you all! It has been a while! Merry belated Holidays to you all! I hope that you all had a great one with your families! For those of you reading that have lost a loved one or didn't have a family/place to call your own, please know that my thoughts were with you and prayers as well and will continue to be!! So, what do you think of this new chapter? I think that it is time for everything to be laid out on the table for Rae. Her family has kept enough from her. What will "everything" be? My aim for this chapter was to create a sense of awkwardness between Hiroto and Rae. A sense of tugging back and forth. As always, Rossi is irritating and does not know his place. How much of a child is he to speak about him in front of others... and John? Oh yeah he is a major jerk! *deep sigh*Anywhoo, my intention for this story is to write through their lifespan so that's quite a bit to cover. Being so, I am not going to spend too much more time in this place. Please expect a few more "time skips". I will execute them in a way I hope that does not mess up the flow of the story! If they do, don't hesitate to let me know and I can re-work it :) Thank you for reading and see you next chapter! <3 

Love, blessings and peace, 

 

Sunhalo17 <3 

Revelation by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

 

 

 

Her heart fell into her stomach. A cold wave breezed across her skin and she sat still. For a moment, she forgot that Hiroto was there next to her.

 

    “What are you talking about Amee?” Her sister took a shaky breath, tears starting to form in her eyes. 

 

    “They wanted me to be quiet. But, I can’t do it. You’re my sister and I love you.” 

 

    “Amee…” She reached across and grabbed her hands. Amee gripped back tight, tears in her eyes mirroring hers. 

 

    “A… what did they do?” Amee glanced up from under her wet eyelashes and looked at Hiroto who had been softly caressing the back of her hand with his thumb. 

 

    “I wonder if he’s ready for it.” That got his attention and he looked at her. 

 

    “I’m only here for Rae.” 

 

    “But for ten long years you were nowhere to be found. Why now are you here for my sister?” The thumb that stroked her skin paused. Swallowing, Hiroto let go of her hand and folded his hands in his lap. Taking in his reaction, Amee reached up to wipe some of the tears that had fallen from her eyes and sat up straighter. 

 

    “The story everybody told you where they said they shipped you off to Japan because of a bad deal with the mafia… not all of it was true.” She grew stiff. 

 

    “What do you mean?” Amee took a shaky breath. 

 

    “The real reason was… was because they… they no longer wanted you to be in the family.” It grew silent. 

 

    “I’m…I’m sorry?” Amee licked her lips. 

 

    “Ebbie, Mama and Daddy didn’t want you anymore. They had reached a place where they felt they could live without you…” She gripped Hiroto’s hand again instinctively and inhaled sharply.

 

    “I don’t understand…”

 

    “I’m sorry Ebbie…”

 

    “When did this happen? When did they suddenly decide they didn’t want me around?” 

 

    “That I don’t know sweetie. I only know so much. What I’m tellin you I found out by being nosey.” She let go of Hiroto’s hand again and sat up straighter. 

 

    “What else can you tell me?” Her sister sighed.  

 

    “Do you know of a man named Peter Lugiano?” She grew still, her breath sharply drawn in. Amee reached across the table and softly gripped her hand. 

 

    “Ebbie?” She jolted, bringing her eyes back to her sister.     

 

    “Y-yeah?”

 

    “Are you okay?”

 

    “Yeah…”

 

    “Well? Do you know him?” She licked her lips and lifted a hand to tousle her hair. 

 

    “I know him. Why?” 

 

    “A year before you left for Japan, he showed up at our house. Seems he had been looking for you.” Her hand began to quiver against her thigh underneath the table. 

 

    “Looking for me?”

 

    “Yes. He said something about you being his ward. Said you ran away from home and that he had been looking for you ever since.” She gripped her fingers together in a tight fist. 

 

    “He’s lying.” Amee tightened her grip on her hand. 

 

    “Ebbie he convinced Mama and Daddy to give you to him.”

 

    “No…” Tears started to well in her eyes. No… it wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be possible. 

 

    “Amee stop it. Please. Let’s just stop.”

 

    “Ebbie listen to me…” Turning watery eyes on her sister, she bit her lips. 

 

    “What Amee?” 

 

    “Is it true that… that you were…were pregnant?” She felt Hiroto’s thumb glide across her rigidly closed fist. 

 

    “….yes.” Amee’s eyes widened. 

 

    “Is it true that you ran away from him?”

 

    “I did. But… it wasn’t because of anything he told you.” Amee smiled sadly. 

 

    “I believe you Rae… I didn’t like him then and something about him rubs me the wrong way even now. Our parents ate it up like white on rice. Tre, Drew and I overheard them arguing one night…this was right before you left…”

 

    “What’d they say?”

 

    “Mama said she couldn’t take you being here anymore. She didn’t like how Daddy was always concerned about you and focused on you… Tre and the other brothers either. She even went so far as to accuse Daddy and Tre of being in love with you… said it was unnatural how much they fixated on you.” She felt vomit arise in her throat and gripped Hiroto’s hand, fingers tight. 

 

    “Sweetheart,” He had spoken next to her… but she couldn’t… she couldn’t open her eyes in that moment. She had too many people touching her… Drawing her hand back from her sister, she placed it back underneath the table and gripped the edge of the seat, eyes still closed. She opened her mouth to speak. 

 

    “She thought her husband and son were in love with me?” She heard Amee draw in breath with a shake. 

 

    “Mmhm.”

 

    “What did Daddy say to all this?”

 

    “He told her she was crazy for even thinking that. That he and Tre had done nothing but try to be a great father and brother to you.”

 

    “And?”

 

    “She told him to prove it.” She slowly opened her eyes and her vision focused on the woman she had called sister for so long. 

 

    “How?” She asked, now her voice empty, devoid of any other emotion. 

 

    “By agreeing to let Lugiano have you.”

 

    “I was in Japan. How was he going to get me?”

 

    “Mama and Daddy completely wiped their hands clean and never looked back. They agreed that they would send you to Japan and from there Lugiano would do the rest.” 

 

    “He was going to come get me?”

 

    “All they had to do was hand deliver you there.”

 

    “They wanted to be rid of me that bad huh?” She laughed bitterly and let go of Hiroto’s hand for the last time. 

 

    “The truth finally comes out huh…” The hurt that had risen in her voice was so strong it stung.  Everything was making her head spin and her heart twisted painfully in her chest. Amee swallowed. 

 

    “They told us that you were a complication to the family and that we had to try our best to forget you. They made us promise that we would keep quiet about it if in the event that you did come back.” 

 

    “How could they do this to me?” She lowered her head and felt the tears that had welled up in her eyes slide down her cheeks. 

 

    “I’m sorry Ebbie. What they did is horrible and I can’t imagine how you feel right now…It makes me sick to my stomach Ebere. You are my big sister. Always will be. And no matter what, I’m never going to betray you or leave you.” She smiled and pressed Amee’s hand against her cheek. 

 

    “Amee…thank you…”

 

    “We’re sisters. That’s what family is for.”

 

    “Has anyone seen Lugiano recently?”

 

    “Not in a while. None of his connects know where he at.”

 

    “Amee,” She looked at her, her own tears creating trails of pain upon her cheeks.     

 

    “Yes Ebbie?”

 

    “After all this time… you didn’t once think to listen to them? Be honest.” Amee sat up in her seat and bit her lip. 

 

    “At first I went along with it. All the while feeling something wasn’t right. I was young and these were my parents. How could I disobey them? I didn’t know what to do or how to protect you. As I got older, I listened to the feeling in my heart instead of the hatred and jealousy Mama spewed every time she talked about you. This time, I’m going to protect you. Our parents couldn’t do it…and that’s fine if they didn’t want to. But to me Ebere Marshall you are family. And family sticks together.”

 

    “I’ll be here as well.”  He spoke up next to her, gently squeezing her hand. She sniffed softly and reached up to wipe her eyes. 

 

    “Thank you Amee. Thank you.”

 

    “Any time! That’s what I’m here for!” 

 

    “Are you okay?” She heard his voice gentle and soft ask next to her. She didn’t meet his eyes but nodded. Amee twisted up her lips and looked at him just as intently as she did at the beginning of the conversation.

 

    “We see about you Mr. Freeze. You gotta work your way into this here family.” Amee spoke, eying him. 

 

    “I intend to. In the meantime, I want to make sure nothing happens to Rae.”

 

    “Okay buddy… we’ll see.” She said, taking a sip of her water. 

 

    “I think we should go Hiroto.” He nodded and helped her out of her chair. Amee placed her glass on the table and got up. 

 

    “Whenever you’re ready to tell me the real, I’ll be here for you big sis.” She said with a smile. 

 

    “We’ll need a hell of a lot of popcorn for that.” She replied, a small smile on her lips. 

 

    “Go ahead Mr. Freeze. Get my sister back safely.” She pointed at Hiroto. He bowed his head. 

 

    “Of course. It was nice to meet you.”

 

    “Mmhm.” A hand carefully on her waist, she let him lead her out of Joe’s and into the car. 

 

 

 

***** 

 

    The ride back was quiet. Her mind ran a thousand miles a minute. The details of the conversation she had just had spun on loop in her head. All of what Amee had told her…It was still hard to believe. How… how could her parents do this to her? How could they live with the fact that they too abandoned her? 

 

    “This is all bullshit.” She spoke out loud, tightening her fists.

 

    “I’m sorry sweetheart.” 

 

    “Your sorry ain’t gon do anything so you can keep it.” She turned away from him, an angry expression on her face.

 

    “You wasn’t even supposed to hear all my business…” She muttered under her breath.

 

    “Rae,” 

 

    “Just drive…” He closed his mouth and focused back on the road. She felt like an open wound that was getting more and more infected. And nothing was getting done about it.     

 

    “Jesus. ” Even in the depths of her hurt, she knew she hadn’t made it in another land by herself. The things she went through there… only reason she survived was because of Him. After a while, she spoke again,

 

    “I apologize…” He looked at her as they pulled up to a red light.     

 

    “For?” 

 

    “Being a bitch.” 

 

    “You aren’t-”

 

    “Yes. I am. I’m sorry.”

 

    “It is I who should be apologizing.” 

 

    “Look…” She turned to face him. 

 

    “You gotta give me time Hiroto.”

 

    “I’ll give you as much time as you need.”

 

    “I can’t do this right now. With you.”

 

    “I understand completely.” Things were silence before he spoke again,

 

    “We were first friends right?” She bit her lip. 

 

    “Yeah.” 

 

    “Promise me one thing.” 

 

    “What is it?”

 

    “You won’t do it alone.” 

 

    “…” 

 

    “No matter what, I will be here for you.” She shifted in her seat and didn’t speak for the rest of the time. 

 

 

 

 

 

***** 

 

    “Nug? It’s 2 in the mornin. What’s wrong?” A gruff voice asked. She gripped the phone as she sat in bed, a small lamp on. 

 

    “There a lot going on that I need some help understanding.”

 

    “What’s up?” 

 

    “I just been thinking lately… somethings ain’t seemin right. With how everything went down sendin me to Japan.” She heard a shuffle. He sat up. 

 

    “Oh?”

 

    “Yeah. I wanna know the real reason y’all sent me there.”

 

    “The real reason?”

 

    “Why did I have to completely leave the country? We don dealt with the mafia before. I never had to leave the state of New York.” He was quiet.

 

    “Tre?” Still… silence…

 

    “If there is something you wanna say, say it now.” 

 

    “Rae…”

 

    “Hm?”

 

    “I…can’t.” 

 

    “Can’t? Or you won’t?” 

 

    “I don’t want to hurt you…”

 

    “You not telling me will hurt me more Tre.” He sighed heavily. 

 

    “What is it you wanna know again?”

 

    “Why did they send me to Japan?” It was quiet before he spoke again. 

 

    “They tried to erase you. They stopped talking about you. They even made us promise not to mention anything to you if you came back. It was crazy…” She flared her nostrils. 

 

    “I see.”

 

    “Baby girl-” 

 

    “I can’t believe it…”

 

    “I’m sorry Rae…” 

 

    “Thanks for tellin me…”

 

    “No matter what they tried, I’m still your brother.” 

 

    “Yeah.”

 

    “I’m here if you need anything Nug.”

 

    “Okay.”

 

    “Night?”

 

    “Yeah. Night.” She hung up and threw the phone on her bed, getting up. Grabbing her keys, she got in her car and went for a drive to clear her head. All of this was entirely too much for her to handle. At this point, she didn’t know who to turn to or who to trust. How much more heartbreak could she handle before she shattered past the point of no return?

End Notes:

A/N: (** Upset cause it's currently 4:33 am and I literally had to retype my whole Author's note *sigh** Okay! :) Calming in 3..2..1!) Poor Rae! My heart just hurts and I can't even imagine how she feels! To know that both her adoptive parents and birth mother abandoned her and the love of her life Roto...How much more heartbreak can one woman take? The things we go through sometimes in life, the pain we suffer... sometimes we ask God why... we get angry at Him and blame Him. We criticize him for things... but see y'all... if we knew... if only we knew that the things we go through aren't in vain! They aren't a waste of time! And that God never places more on us than we can bear! He knows we can handle whatever comes our way!! How? He gave us His son Christ Jesus and through Him we can do ALL things!! Just like God never leaves us astray or forsakes us... never desires anything horrible, bad or evil to come our way... Rae will get through this. She'll have to be broken before she can be crushed into that diamond! <3 I believe now more than ever that her healing process will start. And the journey back to her love will soon follow! :) <3 That's all for now guys! Love you! Please review as always! Constructive criticism is always welcome and much appreciated! Till next time, be blessed!! 

 

 Sunhalo17

D&L

Matthew 11:28-30 (KJV) Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

I Corinthians 15:58 (KJV) "Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord." 

Revelation 21:4 (KJV) "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."

Process by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 



** Some time has passed since the last chapter. The time frame being now a few months later. :)**

You’ve been in the States a whole year this month!” 

    “Mm. Time does fly doesn’t it?”

    “I miss you.”

    “You sure you don’t miss the free sake?”

    “Please. Japan is so empty without you Hiroto-kun.”  He chuckled. It had been quite a while since he had talked to Tobu and it was conversation that he so badly needed. 

    “So… how is she?”

    “She?”

    “Rae-chan?”

    “Ah…she’s…she’s fine.”

    “I don’t know where you stand with Kiko but I’d be on my knees kissing the ground Rae walked on for forgiveness.” 

    “Trust me, I am trying.” 

    “Mm.”

    “Tobu…”

    “Hm?”

    “I…I really hurt her.” A thoughtful silence came and then, 

    “Yes. You did. I can’t imagine how she has felt all these years.” He was quiet so he continued, 

    “Hiroto…you know you would’ve been happy with her. Even if you never saw Japan again at least you would have had her. You were both so young then…You would have made it work… you had time to make it work! I don’t doubt it would have been a struggle… but wouldn’t it have been worth it to be with the woman you loved?” He gripped the phone, his eyes growing teary. 

    “You would have been free Hiroto-kun! Free from your parents and free from everything that would have held you down! In America, you could have started over… started fresh with her.” 

    “I know..I know that.”

    “You guys have gone back to square one. But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe this is the chance you will get to know her all over and discover new things.”     

    “Mm.” 

    “How is Mom?” He lifted his hand to wipe the small tear drops that had rested on his eyelashes. 

    “Getting better I hear. No doubt she is giving the nurses and doctors hell though.” Tobu snickered. 

    “Yeah let her get all healed up. I can’t wait to see her face when you bring Rae-chan back here all wifed up. My life will be made.”

    “You’re an idiot.”

    “No. You are.” They shared a laugh. 

    “I better go Hiro-kun.”

    “Oh?”

    “Yeah. Wouldn’t want to keep the busy businessman from his subjects.”

    “Nakamura Tobu is quite the jokester hm?” He laughed, biting his lip. 

    “Well if you insist Tobu…I’ll talk to you soon hm?”

    “Mm.”

    “See you.”

    “See you later.” 

     


******


    “Is anyone sitting here?” She looked up to find Hiroto standing in front of her, a small box in his hands. 

    “No.” 

    “May I sit?”

    “I don’t care.” He pulled out a chair and sat down, placing his box on the table. She ate some more as she looked at it briefly. She recognized it…a bento. She hadn’t seen one in so long.  Her tongue was fixed to ask him what goodies he had inside but she just cleared her throat and pressed it against the roof of her mouth. He popped open the box and picked up his hashi. Whispering a soft ‘itadakimasu’ he began to eat. It was silent and the lack of noise was starting to make her uncomfortable but she pinched her toes together inside of her shoes and kept eating. A knock at the door made her pause. 

    “Hey! Mind if I join y’all?” Shelley. She let out a breath and smiled. 

    “Come on in girl.” Thank God. Shelly beamed and sat down next to her. Grabbing her paper bag, she paused as she watched Hiroto eat. 

    “Um… what is that box thing he’s eating?” He lifted his eyes and upon meeting Shelley’s, a blush broke out on her skin. She looked flustered. An effect only he could have on members of the opposite sex. She rolled her eyes and continued to watch them. 

    “It’s called a bento.” 

    “B-Bento?” Shelley stuttered in a reply. He grinned. 

    “Yes. It is a lunch that we have in Japan. It’s quite the normal. Like here you have…well…paper bags?” She nodded. 

    “Yeah. We tend to put our lunches in anything really…I guess we have containers too shaped like that! B-but it’s not as pretty looking as yours. Right Rae?” She turned to look at her. She shrugged and continued to chew her fruit. Shelley cleared her throat and began to eat. 

    “Mr. Iwase?” She asked after a small bite. 

    “Hm?”

    “I don’t know if Rae told you but…this is employee break room only…I didn’t want to tell you while you were eating.” His hashi paused. 

    “Ah is it?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Where are the others located?”

    “Uh…well Affinity does not have a place for guests to eat their lunch. Most of the execs that visit go out to lunch.” He slowly placed his hashi on the table and sat back. 

    “I see. Well I appreciate you for telling me.” He covered his lunch with the lid. 

    “That doesn’t mean you have to go.” Shelley spoke up, looking at her for backup. She sighed. 

    “You’re already here Mr. Iwase. You might as well stay.” His gaze was intense and his lips smiled. 

    “All right. I appreciate it.” And so soon they all were eating again. Even though it had been forever since she had eaten in the same space with Hiroto, it was actually kinda nice.The tiniest bit nice. She was grateful for Shelley, it made it less awkward. Shelley sighed next to her and crunched up her paper bag. 

    “I think it’s time for us to get back to work now Mr. Iwase.” He nodded with a small polite smile and wrapped up his empty bento. 

    “Thank you for letting me eat with you two. It was a pleasure.” 

    “No problem!” Shelley said with a smile. But his eyes had drifted to her and she swallowed. 

    “Have a good day.” She said quietly, slowly lifting her eyes to his. 

    “You as well.” He got up and left them sitting in the room. It had grown quiet again before she heard Shelley twist in her seat to face her. 

    “Okay, spill it.” She said, a smile on her face. Blinking, she stared blankly back at her. 

    “Uh… spill what?” 

    “Is there something going on between you and Iwase?” She felt her cheeks grow warm and clutched her fists together. 

    “No! Why would you say that?” Be cool Rae. Be cool.

    “Did you see the way he was looking at you?” She shrugged and got up to throw her container in the trash. 

    “What are you talking about? That man could give two squats about me.” She knew better. But see, Shelley didn’t need to know that. 

    “Girl, stop while you’re ahead. The man was looking at you like he was…dare I say it… in love with you!” She snort but gripped her container tightly. 

    “Shells, you trippin.” Shelley clucked her tongue and got up. 

    “I saw it. Maybe you ain’t feelin him. But he damn sure is feeling you. Big time.” Sighing deeply, she let the container fall from her hands and turned around to look at her, a small scowl on her face. 

    “So what? He better stay in his lane.” Shelley sighed. 

    “I don’t mean to be nosey Rae but.…everyone in the office is talkin about you two. That day you went missing… you were with him weren’t you?”  For the first time, Shelley was actually getting on her nerves. Pursing her lips, she replied in a cool tone, 

    “I don’t know why you wanna know about my being around Mr. Iwase so much but your diggin for info ain’t workin. Leave it alone.” The expression on Shelley’s face grew stiff with hurt. 

    “Rae..I’m…I didn’t mean anything by it…”

    “Please Shells. Stop asking questions okay? There is nothing between that man and I.” She gave a apologetic smile and returned to her cubicle. 


*****


    “Mr. Iwase?” 

    “Yes?”

    “Your fiancee is here.” He paused, the conversation he had been having with an executive in France interrupted. 

    “If I may, could I call you back Mr. DuPonce?”

    “It is no problem Hiro. Call me when you are available.”

    “Thank you.”

    “Good day.”

    “Good day to you as well Mr. DuPonce.” He hung up the phone and sighed. 

    “She’s here you said?”

    “Yes Mr. Iwase. Should I escort her in?” A headache that had disappeared for a while suddenly came rushing back. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

    “Please.” He stood up and gripped his desk and soon the last shred of peace left him as Kiko entered. She bowed to his assistant and waited until the door was closed. 

    “Hi Hiro…” He took a deep breath. 

    “Hello.” She looked around. 

    “It has been a while hasn’t it?” He hadn’t taken his eyes off of her yet and replied, his tone neutral, 

    “Indeed.” 

    “You’ve stopped calling. I was worried.” She said softly, finally meeting his eyes. 

    “I have been busy.”

    “I see.” Her eyes dropped and she licked her lips. 

    “Have you been with her? Is she the one who has been taking up all of your time?” His fingers were starting to tingle with how hard he gripped the wood of his desk. 

    “Yes I have been with her.” There was no reason to lie to her. If she asked, he would tell her. 

    “Your busyness has no doubt been…pleasurable then at least.” Whatever it was she assumed, he wasn’t going to correct her. 

    “Have you thought about what we discussed during our last conversation?” The change in subject made her jump. She blinked, hurt welling up in her eyes in the form of tears. 

    “How can you just change the subject like that? Is it so easy for you?” 

    “Kiko…”

    “No… I have endured this time apart from you and every moment it has hurt me. Please do not forget…whatever you think you have with this woman… she is not your fiancee.” He licked his lips and finally let go of the desk. 

    “Kiko listen to me. If you cannot understand then I cannot explain it to you. There is nothing I can offer to you.”

    “You told me about what our families did… and the pact they made. While my feelings on this matter are still unclear… what I do know is that… my feelings for you will never go away Hiro.”  

    “That may be. But one thing remains and that is my distrust of you.” She gripped the straps to her purse tightly and brought her eyes to his, watery and unclear. 

    “I’ve apologized to you.”

    “This is not enough.”

    “What more must I do?” She cried, one by one tears falling down her cheeks. 

    “Give me time. Apart from you.”

    “While you spend it with that woman?”

    “Whether you like it or not, I will rebuild the relationship I have with that woman. She is the one who truly deserves the Iwase name. She will be my wife.” 

    “Hiroto…”

    “There is nothing you can do to change my mind.” 

    “Please think it through…more. Please.” She replied in English before bowing. Sniffling, she briskly walked out of his office. The headache intensified and he sat down with a groan. He had to figure out a way to get her to see his point of view. Whatever circumstances that had occured between them, he honestly did not want to hurt her. If things had been different… he could have called her ‘imouto’ fondly. What he wanted to do now more than ever was make right not just the damage done between Rae and himself but Kiko. He felt responsible for his family’s actions. It was simply a thing no one but Japanese could understand. And being so, he wanted to make it all right. To do this however… he had to begin the process. Pressing his forehead against the cool surface of the desk, he slowly exhaled. It was time…and truth be told… he was a bit scared. But it was something he couldn’t and wouldn’t run away from anymore. If he didn’t have Rae beside him… it still was something he had to do. 

    “Right then.” He whispered and pushed back his chair. He opened the small side drawer and pulled out the same documents he had been going over the entire time he had been here. He would do this. He could do this… 


***** 

    “Rae?” She looked up to find her younger sister Erica standing in front of her. 

    “Hm?”

    “What were you saying?” 

    “I was sayin somethin?” Erica looked at her like she was crazy. 

    “Uh… yeah?” She licked her lips and glanced down at her hands which laid on the kitchen table. She must have zoned out.

    “Sorry honey, I must have spaced out. What was the last thing I was saying?” Erica sighed and grabbed some greens and ran them under warm water. 

    “You were talking about a break.” A break? 

    “Oh?”

    “Yeah.” She gripped her hands together and smiled to herself. A break. She needed one so very badly. 

    “What brought this on all of a sudden Rae? Why you wanna leave so soon?” She watched as her sister began to shred the greens. 

    “I just need time away from the office.” 

    “Then come home! Rest up here.” She bit her lips. 

    “I don’t think that would be a good idea. I was thinking maybe more alone…and away from everyone…” Away from you. Erica snort. 

    “You ain’t making any sense. I don’t get it.” It’s not for you to get. 

    “I’m thinking Seattle. For a couple of weeks.”

    “Seattle?!”

    “Yeah.” Erica stirred the greens in the pot, the smell of the ham hock making her mouth water.     

    “It rains there all the time I hear. You sure that’s the best place for you to go?” She flared her nostrils. 

    “I’m sure Erica. You don’t have to agree with me.” Erica stopped stirring and turned to face her. 

    “I don’t mean to sound unsupportive Rae…I just don’t know where this sudden urge to leave came from! You talkin about leavin your job and all of us…to go do Lord knows what by yourself in another city!” She got up and gently slid a braid behind Erica’s ear. 

    “It’s my decision sweetheart. It may not make sense to you… but I have to do this okay? Just tell me you’ll be here when I get back.” Erica pouted, sighing. 

    “You make it sound like I’m going to abandon you or somethin…” Smiling, she pressed a kiss to her forehead and went to grab her purse. 

    “Keep cookin kiddo! It smells delish!” She winked at Erica before closing the door behind her. 


*****

    “Moshi Moshi?” 

    “Hiroto?” 

    “R-Rae?” 

    “Ebere please. And yes. It’s me.” Fingers gripped the phone tightly, the language once familiar now bitter with disuse. 

    “What’s wrong?” His voice was a bit surprised and she couldn’t blame him. It had been so long since they had conversed in Japanese. Hers was more than rusty. 

    “I’m calling because I want to see you.” There was a silence on the other end for a while. One minute, two minute, three minute, almost four…

    “Hiroto?” 

    “Ah, yes! Yes, I’m here.” He replied quickly. She took a breath and brought her mouth closer to the receiver. 

    “Are you available?” 

    “Ah…I have an appointment in the morning. I was just about to head to bed.” She bit her bottom lip. 

    “I see. Sorry for interrupting. I’ll just see you later then-”

    “Wait. W-where are you?” She inhaled slowly. 

    “I’m currently at home.” Again, there was quite a long pause in between his next reply, 

    “You want me to come to your home?” She pulled the phone away from her ear, muted the sound and pressed it against her lap. Her breathing was growing heavy and tears were making her vision misty. What was she doing? 

    “Ebere? Hello?” She lowered her head and took a shaky breath. She had to try. She had decided that she was not going to run away from this painful process of healing. It hurt her, cut deep to the bone. But…on top of everything that had happened to her… she deserved to be free. And happy. Picking up the phone, she sniffed and unmuted herself. 

    “Yes.” Her voice was soft and full of tears. 

    “Yes?” 

    “I…I want you to come over. Just for a little while. We need to talk.” He grew quiet for a while before, 

    “Okay. Whatever you’d like.” She nodded, holding the phone tightly. 

    “I’ll… I’ll text you my a-address.” 

    “Okay.”

    “Okay…” She left it at that and hung up. She text him her address and placed the phone on the couch. Going into the bathroom, she washed her face. Looking at herself in the mirror, she  paused. Before anything else… before loving him… she had first been his friend. She could do this right? It scared the hell out of her to be honest. A big part of her wanted to be angry and spiteful still. But then… would that make her no better than her mother? She eyed the smooth skin on her face and neck and sighed. She was far from it… far from perfect. The scars that still existed on her stomach testified to that. But with time they too had faded… even a little. Even they had gotten a chance to heal. The scars that ran deep on the inside had never been touched. All these years she had just bandaged them and kept going, not stopping to properly treat them. 

    “All the people who haven’t loved me…have they made me not want to love myself?” She asked herself quietly, looking down at her bare stomach. That would not do. That was not who she was. And she refused to continue to mistreat herself. Clearing her throat, she wiped some tears that had fallen and pulled her hair up into a ponytail. A knock at the door made her hands pause. Breathe. It’ll be alright. Putting on a shirt, she clasped her shaky hands together and went in the direction of the door. 


******

    He stood outside, hands sweaty. Gripping them on his pants, he tried to calm his breathing. His thoughts raced and jumbled together and at the moment he couldn’t think straight. He heard the lock to her door slide back and slowly the door opened. Her face appeared and it seemed the very breath had been taken from his lungs. She gripped the door and brought her gaze to his chest. 

    “I shouldn’t have called you so late. I’m sorry about that.” Her voice was low and quiet. 

    “It’s no problem. I don’t mind at all.”

    “Um… do you… um…” He pried his hands off of his pant legs and cleared his throat. 

    “May I come in?” He asked, careful to keep his voice gentle and soothing.

    “Oh… y-yeah. Sure.” She opened the door enough for him to enter. Here goes nothing… He slowly stepped into her house and was shocked to find how small of a space it was. He looked around, eyes trying to take in everything at once. 

    “It’s small I know. I don’t really prefer to be flashy.” She explained closing the door behind him. 

    “Ah…I don’t mean to criticize…” He said, hands held up in defense. She shook her head and came closer. 

    “No offense taken Hiroto. You’re fine.”  He stood near her table, a small quaint piece of furniture that didn’t take up too much space and looked just right for her. 

    “You can take your shoes off.” She said softly, walking past him into the kitchen. He jumped a little, fists drawing tight. 

    “I’m sorry. I hope I haven’t tracked in any dirt.” Was he growing so Westernized so quickly? 

    “It’s fine.” She said again, opening her cupboard. He leaned down and slowly slipped his shoes off before placing them by her door. Somehow, it felt strange. Intrusive. But there was also a sense of belonging. 

    “I don’t have much for you if you’re hungry…” She spoke over her shoulder as she poured a beverage into two stemless glasses. 

    “Ebere…” She stopped pouring and grew still. He watched her, memories flooding his mind like a film reel. 

    “What?” He sucked in a breath, his lips suddenly dry. 

    “Why am I here?” She didn’t reply as she resumed pouring and soon set the glasses down on the table in front of him. 

    “Sweetheart…” He tried. Nothing. She wasn’t saying anything. She was stiff and wasn’t looking at him. 

    “Ebere say some-”

    “I have an announcement to make…” Slowly, she brought her eyes up to his. He stood quietly, waiting on her next word.     

    “I have decided something. And…I…I wanted to tell you… what it is.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

    “It’s been a year now…since we’ve met each other again. I thought it would be much longer. The time has seemed to grow long and short at the same time. And I…well I…”

    “Take your time…” He said softly, though his ears were eager for what she had to say. She puffed out some air and looked up at him, her eyes a bit stronger. 

    “I am going to start my healing process. From everything that has happened to me. I grew overwhelmed at first thinking about how much of time needed and how long it would take to do it. But I am going to split it into parts. I am going to deal with my parents too. Everything. But first… I wanted to start with you.” He couldn’t describe the feeling that spread into his chest. He couldn’t open his mouth just yet so she continued. 

    “I can’t tell you how long it will take before I fully forgive you Hiroto. But, I’ve grown tired of trying to hate you. It exhausts me. I’ve done it for 10 years. And now I just want it to stop. I don’t have it in me to do it anymore. I decided that it would make me too much like my mother. Truth be told…I miss having you as a friend. So we can start there first. Friendship.” 

    “Yes of course!” He blurted out, his cheeks growing warm. She picked up her glass and took a sip. 

    “I have so many more things I have to let out of me. Things pertaining to you…”

    “Let them out. I want you to.” She placed her glass down on the table. 

    “First thing’s first: Delete my address from your phone. I don’t want anyone knowing where I live. If it gets out, I will kick your ass.” His throat grew dry and he nodded. 

    “No problem. Thank you for sharing it with me.” She looked into his eyes. 

    “Second thing: Even though you’re the biggest jerk to walk this planet…I want to… I want to thank you for being there for me… through what’s happened these past few months…” He visibly relaxed and smiled softly. 

    “I’ll continue to be here for you as long as you allow me to Ebere.” She rolled her eyes and grabbed her glass. 

    “You sound thirsty. Go ahead and drink.” He gently reached for the glass and the taste of the beverage made him sigh. It was so refreshing. 

    “It’s chilled green tea with lemon and honey.” She spoke up, the tiniest trace of a smirk on her lips. He smiled back. 

    “Ah.. I see. Thank you.” 

    “No problem.” The silence was still uncomfortable between them but it had grown less tense… less hostile. He finished the tea and put the glass back on the table. 

    “Ebere…I should be going.” She took one last sip from her cup and licked her lips. 

    “Yeah. Come on.” They walked towards the door slowly…almost as if they wanted to make the time last a little bit longer. 

    “Hiroto?” 

    “Yes?” 

    “I’m going on a trip.” 

    “A trip?” 

    “To Seattle.” He glanced at her. 

    “Seattle?”  She had started to gnaw at her lips. 

    “I wanted to let you know.” He smiled. 

    “I appreciate you for telling me. How long will you be away?”

    “Truthfully…I don’t know.” One step…two steps…

    “I see.” He felt his heart melt as those beautiful eyes looked up at him. 

    “I am going to ask Rossi for an extended leave of absence.” He nodded as they came to stand in front of her door, the time ending too soon. 

    “I think you should.” 

    “Yeah?” 

    “Mmhm.” He slid his fingers into his pockets and sighed. Turning from her, he put on his shoes. He heard her voice speak behind him. 

    “Hiroto?” 

    “Yes sweetheart?”     

    “Before you leave…there’s something else I want to do real quick.” Standing up at his full height, he turned to face her. Hands slid back into those pockets, his fingers gripping the material tight. 

    “What is it?” 

    “Remember when I said I have a lot left to let out from what you did?” He licked his lips. 

    “Mmhm.” She came up to him and reached up to entangle her fingers in his hair, drawing every last wisp of breath he had. He couldn’t move as she leaned up to stand on her tip toes and her fingers brought him closer to her. 

    “I won’t do this again…until we’re ready for it. But…right now I have to know something…” Her breath was warm and sweet on his lips. His heart began to beat faster. 

    “What’s that?” He asked, his voice soft. She didn’t reply but instead, pressed her lips against his. Stiff at first, slowly… gently their lips molded to each others and his eyes fluttered closed. Her lips sent sparks through his body and the sweet taste of her once again flooded his system. The reunion ended swiftly as she pulled away from him, her breath labored only slightly. 

    “Does she kiss better than me?” She asked as the tips of her fingers massaged his scalp. He took a shaky breath. 

    “No…not by far.” She sighed and pressed her lips against the corner of his mouth.     

    “Good.” Her fingers grew still and slowly they slid down to press flat against his jacket. 

    “Did it feel like our first kiss?” She asked, her voice having grown whispery. He felt as though the ground was spinning and gently grabbed her wrists. 

    “No.”

    “No?” She asked, looking at him. The pain that looked back at him stabbed him like a sharp dagger straight to the heart. 

    “It wasn’t the same feeling.” She pouted to his response, honestly looking confused as to how. 

    “This one time… allow me…” He whispered, silently praying he held it together. 

    “Go ahead.” He reached out and cupped her face in his hands, the smooth skin melting into his palm. 

    “The first time we kissed it was different. We weren’t apart from each other. And nothing had happened yet. It communicated nervousness and love.” 

    “And now?” 

    “Desperation. Despair and sadness.” She blinked, her throat growing tight. 

    “I agree that we should not do this again Rae… not… not so soon. But I will give you the answer to the question you asked me one more time.” He brought her lips to his one last time and this time… he let a little bit of his heart come through. Perhaps it was a bit too much because he felt wetness touch his hands. Tears. This was the only chance he was going to have so damn it he would take it. In their time apart, her mind had been consumed with thoughts of Kiko and convinced herself that she was better. But she was wrong. His thoughts had been only on her… only the feel and press of her  alone satisfied him. He slowly…painstakingly began to deepen the kiss…. not too much… but just enough. Cries had risen in her throat but the sounds of yearning within spoke to him louder than the sorrow. His breath had run out and he forced himself to pull away from her. 

    “Let me tell you something. You were and will continue to be… the only one whose lips will bring me to my knees.” He whispered, his breath heavy. She bit her lip, trying to quiet the sobs that had escaped from her. 

    “I’m…sorry… that I put you in a position where you ever had to doubt what you meant to me Rae. Hopefully now… it’s loud and clear…” He brushed the tears away with his thumbs. 

    “Thank you for inviting me over. It means so much to me that you did.” As he pulled his hands away from her face, she opened her eyes and looked at the ground. She swallowed hard and opened the door without a word. 

    “Good night Hiroto…” He smiled gently. 

    “Good night beautiful.” He felt so many things as he went to get in his car. Pain. Love. Overwhelming love. Patience. Desire. Respect. But the last thing he treasured most. Hope. There was hope for him. For her. And for them. That was all he needed. Now, he too would begin his journey of healing. He hoped that when they next met again… they would be ready… ready for a fresh beginning. Together.

End Notes:

A/N: Woo. This chapter was raw! So emotive! These two are now getting ready to transition to their own respective journeys! They are going to be separated for a few chapters to work on themselves individually! :) I think this chapter speaks VOLUMES to just how much Hiroto loves Rae. And such a contrast to the male interaction Rae has had since she was a child. Every man she came in contact with took and took and took from her. Didn't ask if it was okay. Robbed her. Of her spirit. Joy. Identity. And then there's Hiroto who is not perfect by any means. He knows he f--ed up and is willin to do what he can to mend the broken bridges... but all the while... still being the supportive pillar Rae needs right now. These two are going to be a POWER COUPLE when they come back together y'all. I call this time apart "preparation" for them both! Healing and everything else they need alone in order to be together! <3 I'm excited! Rae's chapter is currently being written :) I've written a lot lately lol. It feels amazing since I hadn't done so in such a long time haha. I am going to be heading back to school Friday and I start work again on Sunday. :) So, I hope this keeps y'all for a little while. I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'll see you soon my loves! 

Soul Searching by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 


“Tell me about your mother.” The voice of a woman brought her thoughts away from the sounds of the early morning. The birds chirped and the smell of rain drifted in through an open window. 


    “What about her?” Her voice was like the soft cool breeze that permeated throughout the room.


    “What kind of woman was she?” Eyes drifted away from the woman looking intently at her and focused them on the window. Such freedom existed out there in between the many limbs, branches and green. It was a while before she spoke. 


    “She was the one who began the cycle in my life. It all started with her.”  


 


    ******* 


    It had been three weeks since she had relocated to Seattle, Washington. In that time, she had been adjusting quite quickly. She had been blessed to come across a small studio apartment that didn’t require too much furnishing and had a lovely view for a reasonable price. And even more so, she was grateful that Rossi had been more than lenient with her. He had noticed that she had been slipping to the point where he had asked her to sit out on a few meetings. Quite unlike her, he had asked what was the matter. 


    All the information that swam in her head… about her family… Lugiano…everything… it had gotten to be too much. She found herself like a ticking time bomb and with no place to release it, she was bound to explode. With this, Rossi had agreed to let her have some time off. He had put Shelley down as a fill in for her and agreed to give her overtime pay. The agreement with the stay was that she could spend up to 8 weeks in Seattle before she had to come back.


    The counseling had started the very same week she had landed in Seattle. She had put it off the first couple of days while she had unpacked her things. On the third day, she knew she needed to go. She hadn’t known where to begin and traveled to a few spots until she found the current office she was going to. Her clinical psychologist was a Dr. Atmikha Gupta and she was by far the only woman in the clinic that understood her. She was the only woman of color in an office with no color on the walls and she had been interested in talking to her to see what her experiences were, aside from her own. And so, she had found herself coming back to talk to Dr. Gupta and two weeks into her stay, here they were. 


**** 


    “Can you paint the picture for me? Take me upon your journey.” Dr. Gupta’s voice was calm and soothing and she took a deep breath. 


    “I’m not sure you want to go on my journey.” Dr. Gupta smiled softly. 


    “I do Rae. ” She swallowed and closed her eyes. The personal between them was still a little disconcerting but she was growing used to it. 


    “Okay then…brace yourself Atmikha.” 


***** 


    “Ebere.”


    “Yes?” 


    “We’re going to your grandma’s today.” She blinked.


    “Will you be leaving me there again mama?” 


    “I gotta go somewhere today. You gon stay with her for a while.” She looked down at her fingers. It was always the same. By now, she had gotten used to it.


    “I’m gon go get us some food. You wait here. Then we gon go to grandma’s.” 


    “Okay mama.” The woman she called mama got up and she turned her back to her. Before she knew it, she was standing at the train station watching the doors to the train close behind her. That was the last thing she remembers before the train rushed past her like a bullet. She had stood there for hours… cold… fingers nearly frozen off. Waiting. Eyes looking in the direction her mother had went. Her once dry eyes grew wet with tears and soon the trails of sadness left trails of ice. 


 


*******


 


    She gripped her fingers together. She remembered it like it was yesterday. She had stood at that train station for hours until it grew dark. She had been scared. Scared to leave the train station. Scared to stay in the train station. So, she had decided to go look for a nearby place… anywhere untouched by snow… to possibly lay her head. And when she was unsuccessful, she found herself right in front of the bench she had been standing in front of all day. Slowly, sniffling… she had crawled on top of the cold hard stone slab nearest the wall and folded herself up into a ball, tightly gripping her winter coat. 


    The next morning, she had been awakened by the sound of people going to and fro and her eyes never stopped searching the crowd for her mother. At any moment… surely she was going to come back. So she thought. So she believed. That belief too would grow cold and it was a few days later that she figured out her mother was not going to come back. It was then that she figured out that she was by herself. 


    “That is inconceivable…” Dr. Gupta’s voice was saddened and she sucked her teeth. 


    “Who you telling…” Tears slid down her cheeks and she bit her lip. How… how could a mother do that to her child? Lifting her fingers, she dapped at her eyes and took a deep sigh. 


    “I can’t imagine a mother leaving her child… so young and innocent alone like that. Wow.” Like so many times before, she had sucked up her tears and kept going. Not not this time. This time she would face it. She took a deep breath. 


    “I’ve never healed from that Atmikha. I’ve carried it for 28 years.” Dr. Gupta gently placed her pen and pad down on a nearby table and reached across to grab her hands. 


    “It’s going to be my job to help you heal from this Rae. From what you’ve shared with me… despite your mother leaving you… you’ve turned into a beautiful woman with a mighty big purpose. You have such a inspirational message. And I want to help you discover that.” She smiled, her eyes watery. 


    “Thank you D-Dr. Gupta.…” Gupta clucked her tongue. 


    “In here, it’s just Rae and Atmikha. Okay?” She nodded. 


    “Yeah.” She took her hands back and reached up to wipe the tears that had fallen. 


    “I know there is so much more about my mothers I haven’t shared…” She said sheepishly, eying Dr. Gupta. 


    “That’s okay sweetie. We’ll take this as slow as you want to. It’s not about me. It’s all about you! Whatever you are comfortable with sharing… that is where we will go for the day.” She nodded again and stood up. 


    “Thank you Dr- I mean… Atmikha…” Gupta stood as well and warmly embraced her. 


    “If no one else listens to the stories we have as women of color then who will help us restore, rebuild and relive?” She whispered into her ear as she pulled away from her. 


    “Your assignment for this week is to go home and journal. In our first meeting you mentioned that as a young girl you journaled. Write as much as you want. In our next meeting, I want you to share something that you wrote. Understood?” 


    “Yeah. I got it.” She smiled one last time before grabbing her things and left, leaving her in the dimly lit room. Talking, thought hard, was easier than this assignment. In this assignment, Gupta wanted her to share her very soul. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She grabbed her keys and soon made the drive home. 


 


**** 


    SATURDAY 


     The shrill hiss from the kettle made her jump and she got up to turn off the stove. Rain droplets slid down her windows and fog misted up the clear glass. There was a chill in the air and it felt more like winter transitioning into spring than spring itself. She slipped into her house shoes and made her way into the kitchen, running fingers through her hair. Today was the perfect day to sit down with some warm tea and journal. She hadn’t journaled in so long. As anxious as she was… she felt a little bit excited. It had been a long time and she needed an outlet. She had to go back to the only freedom she knew. As she brought her tea to the table, she looked out the window at her favorite view of the city. One of the things that had drawn her to Seattle was the water and the bountiful nature that surrounded the city. The pictures looked so beautiful and she decided that even if she never lived here, she would have to visit sometime in her life. It was a blessing that she had come to pick this place as her temporary home. She had chosen a place appropriately near the water and everyday the wind brought the fresh scent into her space. Taking a sip of her tea, she sighed. Water. It had taken a while before she had grown comfortable around it again… after what had happened so long ago in Nara. 


    She thought she could erase every memory of her life there, the people she had met and the man she had fallen in love with but it hadn’t been so easy. Japan had played such a significant part in her life. She had experienced so many firsts there. First true friend. First true laughter. First family. First love. First kiss. First heartbreak. That land had shaped her and she had a longing to go back. She couldn’t explain it. But… in the time she had spent there… she had felt like it was home. It was where she belonged. 


     Taking a sip from her cup, she covered her legs with a blanket. Rain droplets melted against the window and in the stillness of the quiet, she slowly closed her eyes. She missed so many people. Tobu. She thought about him so much and longed the most to see him again. She wondered how he was… how he had grown. A smile came to her face. Was he still lanky or had he finally grown into his body? Was he still the adorable blushing mess or… or had he decided that the shyness was no longer a fit for him? Thoughts of the man she once considered her brother and the woman she considered her mother plagued her for years. Hana and Hisae…by now she was a big girl and Hana was taking Japan by the reins. Minako. Swallowing, she bit her lip. Minako. She couldn’t forget about her. At first, she had been angry at her. Convinced that she had been in on the whole Lugiano operation. But when she thought about it… wasn’t Minako just as blinded as she was? Minako couldn’t have known more than what her parents had told her. She did her best with what she was given and tried her hardest to raise another family’s child all on her own. To even agree to do that was something she couldn’t fathom. She wondered so many things. Like how did her parents know Minako? How far did they go back? That was something she would ask them when it was time. But for now, she would write it all down with the pages that once brought her the most solace.


 


******


 


    In my dreams, a hand presses gently on my hair, fingers gently sliding through the curly strands. A voice, soft and gentle… it whispers to me with a tone of love. Speaking words that no other has spoken. In my dreams, arms surround me, encircling me in light, warmth and intimacy. I press my fingers against flesh, muscle, bone and sinew just underneath my touch. When I close my eyes, I feel the intangible invisibility of liquid, the substance floating all around me… around him. Clothes are wet… stuck to skin. Breath is warm and cool at the same time. Memories. Just him and I… in the large sea of water… together. 


    I see a life that could be… could have been. And yet, I wonder… what happened to us? Why did it have to happen to the both of us? In my mind, I find myself at a crossroads. Two arrows leading in two different directions. But which one will I choose? One says: Love. Life. Another says: Hate. Death. Could it be that I really have to choose? What does my heart say? What does it want? I’ve lived 10 years listening to what my body wants. Hatred. So then it was. Anger and bitterness. So then that was. A false sense of security, a false copy of what I thought love was.


     Tangled somewhere between the black limbs and the lying hurtful lips I was… my soul I thought damaged. But somewhere…somewhere inside there was a tiny light flickering. Through all, it dimmed but never burned out. Now… now I want to find it. Make it grow again. Let it fill my entire being. The touch of fingers and the warm press of arms… the scent of the one my heart desires… I can’t lie to myself. I miss it. I want it. Again. Someday. It might take a long time. Maybe it won’t. I won’t be happy again until I clean the muck that had lived inside of me for this whole time. I’ll return to him… I’ll fly back to him when and only when I’m clean….


 


******** 


 


 


    “You look much freer today Rae.” She looked up into Dr. Gupta’s kind gaze and smiled a bit. 


    “Yeah.” She tightly pressed her fingers against the small purple journal she had against her lap. Dr. Gupta eyed her movement and sat back. 


    “Mind sharing some?” She playfully sucked her teeth. 


    “You ain’t wastin no time huh Atmikha?” Gupta grinned. 


    “Surely not when there are so many jewels to behold in there.” She pursed her lips but felt a small grin poke through. Sighing heavily, she licked her lips and slowly gripped the edge of the journal. 


    “I’ve never read any of this to anyone…” Not even Hiroto. The new level of personal she was getting ready to embark on had her fingers damn near cramping and sweaty but she just closed her eyes and took another deep breath. She opened the journal and flipped to the one she would read. 


*****


    White space. White noise. Dreams filter like a projection across the expanse of my mind. Many colors, many moments… some good and some bad. In this journey, I feel the pain of yesterday and days past more intensely. Right now, the joy and peace I once had in my bosom is gone. So many people. So many hurts. So much pain. Can one individual handle this much? Instead of putting a bandaid on it… I guess I have to stop running and take it off. So, into the white I go, one foot bare and shaky in front of the other. I wonder what awaits me at the other end? 


 


*****


    Once she was done, she took a deep breath. She watched and waited until Dr. Gupta finally spoke. 


    “You are a visionary.” She blinked and pursed her lips, not sure what to say. At her silence, Gupta continued, 


    “Quite a beautiful piece. It expresses your fear of the unknown, trials but also a sense of hope.” She smiled and sat back in her chair, looking at her. 


    “Rae, how do you feel after sharing?” She shrugged. 


    “I don’t know…okay I guess.” 


    “Just okay?” 


    “Yeah I guess.” Gupta nodded and cleared her throat. 


    “I’m proud of you. I have absolute faith that you will make it through this journey and that you will come out strong! Now, let’s talk some more about Mom.” She sighed and looked down. 


    “You mean Moms…” 


    “Yes. The floor is yours sweetie.” She felt a burst of fiery pain shoot through her chest and clutched her shirt, tears starting to well up in her eyes. Too much. She had to release.  


    “After my first mother I came to meet my second. But the way that happened wasn’t the way you think. It was far from flowers and candy…” 


 


***** 


    “What is this? You dealin with kids now?” Hands shoved her onto the ground. 


    “Does she look like a kid to you?” 


    “How can something so small look so good? Bitch look grown.”


    “Exactly why I told him this was a good deal. Think of how much money we can get off her.” 


    “I wonder if she’s touched.”


    “He said he got the first bite.”


    “Sweet as candy huh?”


    “Whatever man. I got kids at home. I ain’t down for this shit.”


    “Don’t be such a pansy J.”


    “Nah. I got a girl her age. Would kill the first son of a bitch that ever looked at her wrong much less wanted her for this type of thing. There wouldn’t be any men left by the time I got done.” She kept her face pressed into the cold wet ground and bit her lips. A foot nudged her. 


    “Well suit yourself. She got ass for days.” 


    “Let’s get ready. This’ll be a wild ride.” 


 


****


    She gripped her fingers tight. 


    “Rae?” The cries were rising up in her throat and she felt at any moment she wouldn’t be able to control them. 


    “Rae?” She looked up at Dr. Gupta, her vision blurry. She couldn’t speak for the moment… the memory left chills that traveled through her entire being.     


    “That’s how you-” She nodded. 


    “It started with him. First my mother. Then him. I don’t want to talk about him… not… not now.” Her voice was weak and quiet. 


    “Okay honey. We can save that for when you’re ready. We’re talking about second mom now right?”


    “Shaundra. Yeah.” 


    “Okay… tell me about her.” She breathed slowly until she felt herself calm down. 


    “Shaundra… for the longest I thought she was more of a mother than my first. But… I’ve found out that she’s a backstabber and a liar.” 


 


**** 


 


    “Kendrick, what is it about that girl?” 


    “What are you talking about?” She could imagine the woman she called mother sitting on their bed, a form fitting chemise on her body and fingers twirling the sheets around in a nervous habit. 


    “You and Tremaine. All the boys. You all are so gung-ho about Ebere. What is it about her that you like?” She could imagine her father turn around from loosening his tie with a look of disbelief. 


    “Shaundra. Do you hear yourself? You think I want a child?”


    “Well. Considering where she came from that is pretty popular nowadays.” 


    “Stop it. Get a hold of yourself.” 


    “Do me a favor. Stop looking at her so much. Better yet, tell Tre and all the others not to pay any attention to her.” 


    “Shaundra…” 


 


******


 


    Dr. Gupta bit her lower lip, her brow furled. 


    “You don’t know exactly how the conversation went correct?”


    “Yeah I don’t know… that was more of a speculation.” 


    “When will you know for sure?”


    “I’ll know when I talk to her.” Bitterness was hot on the tongue and she gripped her fingers together. 


    “This is all-”


    “Hard to believe… I know.” 


    “And you mentioned a third mother?” Her heart tightened with longing. 


    “Yes. The best mother anyone could have asked for.”


    “What was her name?” She smiled and lifted to tuck a loose curl behind her ear. 


    “Minako. Her name was Hifune Minako.” 


 


****** 


 


    “Rae-chan, come here for a moment.” She put the book she had been reading down on the table and slowly got up. 


    “Hm?”


    “Wash your hands. Help me with dinner.” Minako said softly as she cut some scallions. 


    “Hm.” Once her hands were clean, she grabbed a small knife and began to help her chop. 


    “Rae?” The crisp sound of the scallion brought a small smile to her face and she blinked, looking up at Minako. 


    “Yes?” 


    “I’m glad.” She blinked again and paused her knife. 


    “Glad about what?” Minako didn’t say anything for a while. 


    “Mina-chan?” She laid her knife on the cutting board and sighed with a smile. 


    “I’m glad that I have you here… with me.” 


    “Mina…”


    “I am just thinking. How blessed I am to call you daughter. You see…. I am not entirely too old. But I…I once had a family too. A daughter and a husband…” Prior to that point, she had never known anything about Minako other than that she was the only guardian she had in Japan. Her ears perked up and she laid the knife flat against the countertop, waiting for her to continue. 


    “My daughter would probably be a few years younger than you now. And now would be the time my husband would be getting home from work.”    


    “What happened to them Mina-chan?” Minako sighed again and bit her lip. 


    “They…they died.” Her heart grew tight with pain. 


    “Minako…” She shook her head. 


    “It’s been 10 years now. I’ve moved on.” She watched her as she began to slice again in silence, all the while her heart growing more sad. 


    “I’m glad that you have been here to bring me joy. I am glad that you call me Mina-chan. And I’m glad that I have been able to see you grow into such a beautiful young lady.” She gripped the handle to the knife in her hand. It became all too real in that moment. That soon she would be leaving her and the life she had made for herself here…to return to the place she had once fondly called home to people she had called family. The sadness in her chest was spreading and growing deep. She couldn’t help but feel as though she was leaving to go back to a foreign land. Weren’t these people her family too? 


    “Mina-chan-” 


    “You’ll have to call me and tell me what goes on with you okay? Don’t forget about me hm Rae-chan?” But the happy tone had small sniffles mixed in. She slowly leaned to her side and placed her head on her shoulder. 


    “I will never forget about you.” Minako smiled, her gaze having grown watery. 


    “Good. Let’s add these scallions now.” 


    “Mm.” 


 


****** 


    “That was the last time I cooked with her. Soon after that… I came back to the States.” Dr. Gupta nodded and smiled. 


    “Do you miss her?” She licked her lips.     


    “Yes. Very much.”


    “I am pleased to hear that out of every woman, Minako was the one to show you motherly love.”


    “Yeah. She was a hell of a woman.”


    “Why don’t you call her?”


    “I don’t know…I haven’t in almost ten years…by now…she’s older and has probably forgotten me.” Gupta shook her head. 


    “You’d be the last person she’d forget I think Rae. I think she thinks about you and misses you just as much as you miss her.” She turned to look out of the window. 


    “Yeah.” Gupta sighed and stood up. 


    “This was a great session. Good job. I’m proud of you.” She began to stand and slowly smiled. 


    “We’re making progress! I thank you for sharing with me.” She nodded at her and turned to get her things. 


    “I’ll see you next week then Dr. Gupta…” She smiled at her. 


    “You’ll see her again Rae. I just know it.” She felt tears well up in her eyes but just smiled. 


    “Take care.”


    “Till next time Rae.”


 


 


 


 


 

End Notes:

A/N: HI GUYSSSSSSSSS!!!!! I MISSED YOUUUUU!!!! I've been gone far longer than I would have liked! Life got goin and many things happened which needed my priority and attention! If you guys don't know, I was being asked to leave my College on the basis that I do not have the money to pay the balance from last semester! I have some very extenuating circumstances and because I don't have any fam support, it was really hard and tough. Folks from members of my immediate family to faculty and staff at Spelman were trying to talk me out of completing my last two semesters here and go all the way back home and start over at another four year (less expensive) institution. But even still through it all, I NEVER compromised, acknowledged defeat or gave up on what God promised me! Glory to God I have been able to stay on campus, attend my classes and written agreeance from Spelman to help me this semester! I am so happy that FAITH WORKS! And FAIH WITHOUT WORK IS DEAD. I am actually going to be putting my gofundme link below please share, etc!! I am trying to raise enough money so that for next semester, I will not have to worry about any of this!! I am so grateful for you guys!! Now, on to the chapter! :) 

 

A/N (2): I know that in the past spoken words between characters hae confused readers and for that I apologize. I literally type it as I see it in my mind. It is like how characters talk in movies. That is how I structured the chapter this time around. I'm happy to see that Rae is finally starting to deal with her deep seated pain!! She has gone to therapy before but not for very long and not this intensive! Rae is going to be in Seattle for two months almost. And every week, she will attend Dr. Gupta's counseling sessions. Can you imagine how much growth mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually she will have in two months time?? I will not stop it at two months though. I'm actually thinking of both Roto and Rae attending therapy well after their respective breaks. Possibly even together?? :) I have missed this story and writing! Thank you for your patience and warm reception! <3 God bless! Love you Fam! <3 

 

Sunray bright and yellow, into the sky! 

 

Be set free by the renewing of your mind! <3 

 

D&L <3 (Sunhalo17) 

Here is my link:

https://www.gofundme.com/5fksue44 :D

 

Wading by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**TRIGGER WARNING AHEAD! CHILD/SEXUAL ABUSE, GRAPHIC SEXUAL EXPERIENCE!!! IF IT OFFENDS YOU, PLEASE SKIP THIS CHAPTER. YOU ARE FREE TO GO TO THE END OF THE CHAPTER! THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FAM!**  

Sometimes, I feel like a duckling. A baby who hasn’t fully gripped walking yet. So, I move my feet and waddle to and fro.. to and fro. Frustrated that I can’t walk like Mama Duck. But… shouldn’t it be enough that I’m trying? Even if I make mistakes? 

*****

A few weeks later….

She set the bags down on the table and unzipped her coat. A quick trip to the local market had turned into a few hours while she bought food items for the whole week. It was chilly outside today and she was glad that she had her winter coat. Course, it didn’t beat New York but it was a close second. Before she began to take the items out of the bags, she flicked on the small nearby television complementary of her apartment complex.  A news reporter appeared on the screen and she sighed and reached into her bags. Tonight, she thought she’d make some Mediterranean salad with a homemade vinaigrette and some fruit salad. Tomorrow, something more hearty since it was still very cold outside.

She was proud of herself. She’d continued going to the weekly scheduled sessions with Dr. Gupta and was amazed at the progress she felt she was making. Sometimes, they would just sit in her office and laugh. She’d tried to get Gupta to share bits of her life and to her surprise… she had managed to get some tidbits out of her. Dr. Gupta was a young 33 years old and already a practicing clinical psychologist. Not only was that impressive but she also had a boo. While Gupta tried to skirt around that subject, she tried every time to bring that up. She was not going to let up until she spilled the beans. Smiling to herself, she sighed. As she laid the contents of the bags on the counter, the thought about the first time she had tried cooking came across her mind. Tightening her jaw she gripped the bags. Why when she was thinking about all the good times did a bad memory have to come up? Swallowing tightly, she felt the memory come forth and squeezed her eyes tight. She could never forgot her firsts. 

 

***** 

“Sweetheart, do you like Daddy?” A gruff voice asked in the darkness as fingers slid across her skin. She buried her face into the mattress and tightened her legs together, the feeling of something sticky still in between. 

“You playing shy now baby?” His touch made her shiver and she wanted to bite his fingers off. 

“N-No…” At her tone, the man smirked. 

“Daddy’s hungry.” His breath was rank with the smell of cigarettes and booze and it made her eyes water. It didn’t phase her anymore. Hungry was a code word. A word meaning he wanted more sex. More of her being. She felt empty as she slowly sat up and turned to face him. His eyes grew a glow with lust and his fingers skimmed down her breasts, still forming and growing. 

“You’re such a good girl Ebere.” 

“Thank you Daddy.” She said in an almost robotic tone before pressing her small hands on his course chest. 

“I’m glad we have this time to spend together. Don’t you?” She gently climbed on top of him and looked into his eyes, not truly seeing. 

“Yes…me too.” The man had become a blur. She’d come in contact with so many of them that after a while they blurred together into one big blob of a face. 

“Pete trained you well. You know just what to do without even being asked.” He was one who she had come to think secretly envied the man he called Pete. When he would request her, he always made her say such strange things… things that made her feel dirty. Things about how she liked him better and the thing between his legs better than Pete. It was always Pete with this one. 

“Thank you…” He grinned underneath her and reached up to slide his fingers across her lips. 

“This time I’m not hungry for the sweet stuff. I’m actually hungry.” Her hips which had started to move as if in automatic motion stopped. He wanted food? 

“Oh…” He chuckled, parting her lips. 

“Oh? Can you cook? Did Pete teach you how to do that?” 

“I can cook.” 

“Good girl. Why don’t you go fix Daddy somethin?” She nodded and slowly got up off of his lap and let the sheet fall away from her body. Not caring about clothes, she reached over onto the counter and put up her hair. 

“I’ll be in there.” The man’s gaze was like that of a snake and it made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. 

“Okay baby.”  She made her way into the kitchen and fixed something she always made with her grandmother: Mac and Cheese and hot dogs. As she stirred the generic cheese mix into the noodles, her legs began to tremble and she felt the wetness ease down her legs. It felt like  urine but much too sticky. Too much for her body to hold or handle. Her hands soon began to shake and tears threatened to fall from her eyes. She heard the bed creak as the man got up and made his way into the kitchen. 

“Mm. Smells good.” She bit her lip and reached up to blot the tears. 

“T-Thank you.” 

*****

Hot, heavy tears streamed down her face and she wasn’t sure if the loud ragged sounds were coming from her or not. She hugged herself tightly and pressed her forehead against the wood of the cabinet. She wasn’t aware that she had dropped the carton of milk or that it was seeping into her jeans. 

“No… no no no no…no….” She cried, the tears non stop. She laid to her side in the puddle of milk and rocked, wrapping her arms around herself. A few minutes turned into hours and soon the tears that had come from her hurting bruised heart had dried and all that remained was a dry and arid stare above her at the ceiling. 

***** 

“Rae?” She turned eyes on Dr. Gupta who looked concerned. 

“Yeah?” Her voice was flat and showed no emotion or interest. 

“Do you need anything? Any hospital assistance? We can stop this session right now just say the word if you are not feeling well.” Gupta replied with the utmost seriousness, standing up to look at her. 

“No. I’m…I’m good.” 

“No you’re not.” She sighed and resumed looking out of the window. 

“I don’t need any hospital Atmikha. I doubt they can fix what’s going on inside.” 

“What is that exactly?” Again, she had lapsed into silence for a while before she spoke again. 

“The reason why I always repeat the same damn cycle. Why I have so many fucking problems. Why I can’t even let the man I love back in. Why every man scares me… sometimes even my own brothers…” 

“Rae…” She leaned down in her chair and grabbed her journal. 

“I’m going to read some things. I want you to listen.” Gupta sat back down and calmly gave a gentle nod. 

“All ears sweetie.” 

****** 

 

The hand of a man. Such a mundane yet extraordinary thing. A thing that holds such power. Such authority. The ability to hold. Produce. Caress. Hurt. Bruise. Kill. The hand of a man can swallow your entire being in invisibility, intimacy, pain or all three. The power to bring forth prayer. Life. Death. Men don’t know… or else they wouldn’t be so careless with what they do with their hands. Hands that lead to fingers, little trees sprung forth from the big main root. Fingers that have electricity, divine authority. To command, pull, worship. Pleasure. Earth. Water. The seasons and planets all align for this: a man’s hand. 

There laying in the midst of the green lays a woman. Woman being a half of a man. Taken literally from his rib. Apart of him and yet divided. She lays bare, asleep. Her skin as dark as the earth beneath her. Out of the peaceful silence comes forth a hand. Nails black and dirty, the fingers begin to poke and prod, touching places that she gave no permission to feel. Places special and uniquely her own. She sits up and tries to push the hand away but yet comes another one. This one covers her breast with the palm and a laughter comes. She tries to shield her body but yet a third hand, a fourth, a fifth. In between her legs, in her hair, fingers dirty and rotten clogging up her airways. Until all she has left is the taste and touch of the dirt. Her very essence, her femininity taken without so much as a “May I please?” or “Thank you.” Used, every eye she comes in contact with appears vile. 

In this life, she went through until she met the hand of one. One who did not abuse her. Hurt her. Torture her. But yet fear. Fear. I’m scared cries the woman. Empty, her shell walks around looking…seeking to be filled. He can’t be. So I must find it. I must fill the holes. But how? How? 

******* 

 

She was sure she spotted some tears that had welled up in Gupta’s eyes but she didn’t give her a chance to speak. 

“The man who came after my mothers…he still makes me afraid. I hate him. I fear him. And my body hasn’t forgotten him. My mind is terrified Atmikha. I’m so scared that should I meet him again… the one who started my hell on earth… that I’ll lose myself and never be who I know I can be.” Gupta remained silent. She took a deep breath and tightened her fingers. 

“After my first mother abandoned me…I wandered for days. Breaking into bakeries when I was hungry and trying to sleep in warm places. My shoes eventually started to tear apart and my coat started to resemble rags. God knows how long it had been since I had been bathed. And one night… one night… he found me. That was when the life as I knew it began.” 

 

****** 

“Are you hungry?” She had just used a rock to smash into a local grocery store and got as much as she could before darting across the street. She had purposely waited until all of the grown ups were gone and the lights were turned off. She had sat down on the curb and started ripping open the packages and beverages she stole. When she looked up, there was a man standing in front of her with his hands in his pockets. 

“Who you?” She asked, mouth full of sandwich and juice. 

“I’m Peter. What’s your name?” She flared her nostrils and took a few more bites out of her sandwich. 

“Ion talk to strangers.” The man smiled in a friendly way but she stopped chewing and looked at him. Something in her stomach wasn’t sitting right. 

“I see. Your mother must have taught you that. Smart woman.” 

“What you want strange man?” 

“I want to take you off the street. I have a nice big bed and a warm bath and lots of food you can eat.” 

“Nah. I don’t want to go with you strange man.” 

“Tell me something princess… have you heard of the Italian Mafia?” She began to chew again. 

“The what?” He chuckled. 

“The Mafia are a bunch of really powerful people. Big important guys. They can make anybody do anything they want at the snap of a finger.” 

“Okay?” She took another sip of her juice. 

“Listen to me princess. I can get you off the street into a nice home. Where you won’t have to starve anymore and steal things. All I have to do is make a phone call. Would you like that?” She stared at him and his friendly expression. 

“Hm. Do it then. Call them people.” 

“One condition.”

“What…”

“You gotta come with me.” 

“Why?”

“Cause I want to make sure you’ll be safe.”

“Why you gotta be the one? I don’t trust you. You gon take me to a shelter.”

“No I won’t princess. I promise. No shelters.” 

“No.” She got up and everything in her body screamed to get away from this man. She tightened the lid on her juice and put it back in the plastic bag. She had grabbed enough for a couple days if she ate small. Tightening the basket she had swiped against her ribcage, she sighed. 

“Well bye strange man.” He didn’t say anything as she began to walk away. When she had gotten far enough away from him to feel calm, she let out a big breath. Turning, she didn’t see him or anybody. Dark and drizzling, she bit her lip as she looked around. She turned and before she could see, she felt a sharp pain spread throughout her head. The last thing she remembered was her juice falling out of the basket and spilling out on the concrete. 

******

“When I woke up, I was laying on the ground and all these men were around me talking about me and poking me.” She said, her throat full of tears. Gupta had a grim expression on her face, her lips tightly pinched. 

“That was the start. Once he figured out I was awake, he had forced me to get bathed and dressed me up like some baby doll. And then that night was hell. He made me do things Atmikha. Things no 8 to 9 year old girl should do. He raped me. Took everything away from me. My virginity. My soul. My innocent delicate essence. All of it. Gone…” Tears had escaped but she couldn’t find it within her to stop talking. She had to talk. It had to come out. 

“The next morning… he forced me to stay with him. I couldn’t leave unless he told me I could. I had to beg him to go to the bathroom. Eat. Had to let him pick out my clothes. Later that day, he took me to meet the big and important men he called La Familia. They loved me. Said I was a cute thing. Thing for him. He told them he was grooming me. That one day, I’d be his most prized possession. And then that night… that second night… he did it all again. Over and over and over again until I became sore, begging him to stop. But he didn’t care. He didn’t care that I was in pain. All that mattered was that he release. He said good girls were quiet and took everything that was given to them. Good girls obeyed. Good girls were grateful…” 

“Rae…”

“No! No. I have to finish… please don’t interrupt…” Gupta nodded and tightened her jaw. She was sure she had went over their time for that day. But she had to. Keep going. 

“First it was him. Then his friend. Then the friend’s friend. I don’t remember much. I mean… I had eventually learned to escape by receding into the back of my mind. Shut off my awareness. I learned to become a robot. A lifeless shell. I eventually stopped crying. I stopped getting in the shower and pushing my wash towel in between my legs to get the stickiness out. At 8 years old, they had made me into a soulless lifeless whore. I began to hope that maybe the fluid inside me would fill me and make me whole again. Since I was empty. I was nothing. Anymore.” Finally, her tongue had got stuck and she began to cry. Inside this safe space, she felt like she could let it out. So she began to cry out from the depths of her soul. Loud, anguished screams… tears and snot painted a picture of the deepest pain. Her body trembled and shook and she tightly gripped the chair arms until her fingers hurt. 

“My sweet sister…” Gupta had left her chair and had come to gently wrap her arms around her. 

“Let it out…” She cajoled, gently rubbing her back. She forgot for a moment about the whole Therapist-Client relationship and the professionalism that was always supposed to remain between them. She pressed her face against her stomach and gripped her shirt. 

“Atmikha… how… how could they do this to me? How could they rip my very soul from me and not give a damn? How could they abuse and misuse a child knowing she had nobody? Why…why…” She began to shake her head. 

“I’ve done the same thing… after Hiroto… I went right back to what I knew. Trying to be filled with the essence of men who had no business being inside of me or my spirit… the cycle…all because of him…” 

“Rae…” She turned eyes up to her, the tears still coming down her cheeks. 

“It is up to you to continue that cycle or determine it in yourself to break it.” 

“I can’t live my life this way anymore Atmikha. I can’t.” 

“You don’t have to my dear. It’s your choice. Make it, stick by it and do it.” Dr. Gupta gently tucked a curl behind her ear. 

“I have faith in you Rae. You’re stronger than you think you are! You have more in you than you think. You are far from empty. You have such a beautiful story living right there in your womb. It’s your duty to let it free. I’m proud of you for making this whole month worth it. You’ve pushed, cried, fought me and let me in. I couldn’t be more happy to call you my sister.” She pat her shoulder. 

“You’ll stitch the pieces  of yourself back together. Go home. Journal. Shower. Cry. Laugh. Call me if you feel alone. And next time… we’ll talk about this Hiroto fellow. Is he the one who has your heart?” She let go of Gupta and sat up straight, sniffing. 

“Yeah.” 

“What does that mean? Either you love him or you don’t.” Atmikha said with a playful grin. 

“I…I do love him! It’s just… he’s in the hot seat right now.”

“I want to hear about it next time!” She reached up to wipe her cheeks and slowly stood up on wobbly legs. 

“Okay.” Gupta smiled and playfully nudged her chin with her knuckle. 

“There we go!”

“Sorry about the being over time… I know you got more clients to see!” 

“Don’t worry about it!” 

“See you next week?”

“See you then Rae.” 

*******

 

A feeling I can’t describe has come over me right now and I can’t begin to explain…The only thing I can say is that I feel like a rebirth is coming. I felt the presence of the Lord for the first time in years tonight. And I just want to come back. I feel like I’m ready to come back. Thanks to Atmikha. And… my never ending talkamatic self… I truly feel peace right now. I feel as though the wading is now full fledged swimming.. jumping. I’m about to make a big splash and when the world is reintroduced to me they won’t know what happened or how. All I know is that I can’t… I can’t wait to finally come home. Home to my Heavenly Father. Home to my peace and sanity. Home. Home to him. Home to all of them. 


End Notes:

A/N: This was such a rough chapter for me to write you guys. Like seriously. It made me cry. I had to pause so many times like yoo I cannot do it. But, the strength of God got me through. It's a story that we don't talk about, so many women out there who have experienced this and are afraid to speak it....in order to heal. So, it's a narrative that needs to be shared. I thank God I never had to experience anything like this but for those who have... my heart and prayers are with you! Stand strong and in hope sisters, because you ARE loved! You are cherished and have value! You are not filthy or dirty! The Almighty Father loves you more than you know...in all your flaws!! Okay, the next chapter will be the second to last or last chapter for Rae and I'll start with Roto. Thanks for reading. This story is so powerful y'all. 

God bless you! See you guys soon!

Him by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

Soundtrack: 

Justin Nozuka-Blue Velvet Sea

 



Sails of white blew in the breeze, so much of it that it threatened to overwhelm her. She smiled and as she opened her eyes, her eyes beheld vast blue. Blue in various shades until it drew to a ombre green. 

    “Rae.” She turned, the white misting across her face like fresh rain. She met eyes, deep almond shaped eyes…the brown within rivaled the rich beauty beneath her feet. Her heart leapt in her chest and she smiled again. 

    “Yes?” 

    “Come home.” The man outstretched his hand and she gently reached for him. 

    “Home? Where is home?” When their fingers met, her entire system jolted and she felt him pull her closer. 

    “Home is here.” He had placed her hand on his heart. His senses flooded her nostrils and she pressed her face against his chest, warmth and light surrounding her. 

    “I want to come home…” She said softly, a small smile on her face. 

    “I’ll be waiting. My heart misses you.” As he spoke, he tenderly brushed his lips across her cheek. 

    “Mine misses you too.” She found her voice gone but in the midst of the white, warmth and sunlight, it didn’t matter. His arms swept underneath her and lifted her up, away from the earth. Away from the water. 

    How quickly it had changed. Fingers caressed her hair and skin was plenty, abundant in its openness. Fire crackled beside them, the air moist and hot. There she lay underneath him, her eyes lost within his gaze. They began to drink of each other, so long so very long having been dehydrated. He dipped into her very soul and her fingers gripped flesh. His breath became hers and as the drinking became more and more intense, her eyes couldn’t contain the amount of sensory stimuli. Everything worked together, the sounds of breath that grew into vocality…the pure imitation of art lived through the dance, the natural beat of their flesh as they became one. The smell of sweet wine that overflowed and worked its way into the very ground. The water was too high and it crashed into her taking her breath from her lungs. The birds that flew in the trees sang a song quite like hers, one of beautiful surrender. The sounds that rose from his belly fed her spirit and she took of him again and again until she couldn’t any longer, full. Too soon, droplets from the sky fell to earth, washing her, drenching her. Flesh grew still and she felt him relax, his muscles once tight. She enclosed around him, arm and limb, keeping him close…protected. 

    “Don't go…. stay...stay with me Rae…” He whispered, voice soft as a whisper. Her breath answered against his temple. 

    “I’ll never leave you…I promise…Hiroto…” 

 

****** 

 

    She sat up in bed, clothes wet and damp against her skin, heat sucking her up in its captivity, eyes wide. Her heart beat wildly in her chest and the river that had ebbed between her legs had started to flow again. She gripped her comforter and bit her lips. Her skin tingled and her breathing was slightly labored. Cheeks red hot, she slowly placed her feet on the hardwood floor and stood up, legs wobbly. Not stopping to pass go or collect 200 dollars, she pulled her clothes off and got in the shower. 

    Inside, she pressed her forehead against the glass shower door, her fists tight at her sides. What was that dream? Why did it have to be… so… intimate and sensual? She nibbled on her lips and closed her eyes as the shower grew hot. It felt so real. Everything from the smooth skin to the hair that had moistly pressed to his forehead… the color in his cheeks…the bruising of his lips…even the way his throat rumbled with the sounds…sounds she couldn’t stop thinking about now… what the hell was wrong with her? 

    She sighed frustratedly and pushed off of the glass. Somehow though…. it didn’t feel like lust. It was strange. To dream of sex but… not have any perverted feelings attached. It made no sense to her. Washing her body, she sighed and rinsed before getting out. Today she didn’t have an appointment with Dr. Gupta but it definitely was something she needed someone to pick at for her. Grabbing some clothes, she quickly dressed, brushed her teeth and dialed Gupta’s number. 

 

******

    “Hello, Dr. Gupta speaking.” 

    “Atmikha…it’s Rae.” She could hear the smile in her voice as she replied, 

    “Rae! How are you?” She slid fingers through her hair. 

    “I…I just had a dream…um…a-about Hi-Hiroto…”

    “Oh?” It sounded like she had sat up in her chair. She sighed. 

    “Yeah. And um… I know we don’t have our appointment scheduled for today but I really need you to pick this for me cause I’m still like what the hell just happened…” Gupta laughed. 

    “Okay sweetie. I’m all ears.” 

 

*******

    “That was harsh.”

    “What was harsh?” 

    “The way you shot that girl down. You ain’t have to do her like that. A simple no would have sufficed.” She peeked up at him. When his lips smiled, dimples appeared. 

    “Oh so I should have been nicer you’re saying?” Quickly, her eyes left his visage. 

    “That’s exactly what I’m saying.” 

    “Ah,” She glanced up at him again, her cheeks growing warm. 

    “You’re the desk guy who helped me yesterday.” His voice was delightfully pleasant, deep in timbre but calm. 

    “Your memory is impeccable.” She pursed her lips. Okay so nice voice had a bit of sarcasm goin on. Hm. 

    “Well… thank you. You didn’t have to do that.” 

    “Those cowards deserved it.” She balled her lips, a small smile appearing. Cowards were they?  

    “What’s your name?” She asked, glancing up at him again. He leaned towards her. 

    “You don’t know who I am by now?” Clearly. 

    “I wouldn’t have asked if I did.” The way he talked about himself, she would have thought that he was some celebrity. Was she supposed to know who he was? Was he that important? 

    “Iwase Hiroto.” Interesting name. She sighed and took a breath before,

    “Ebere Marshall.” 

 

********

 

    “So this is how you met?” She twirled strands of her hair around. 

    “Yeah. My first day at the school some guy thought it was a good idea to grab me and do inappropriate movements. Hiroto stopped him.” Gupta made a scoff sound.

    “I see. Please go on.” She licked her lips. 

    “Okay.” 

 

*****

 

    “Get up.” His voice didn’t tremble in its demand nor sounded angry. The hand of the man above her made its way into her shirt. Her body immediately froze and she closed her eyes. Familiar. The same. As all the others. 

    “She’s so wet man. She must want it.” She closed her fingers tightly in fists. No, just an automatic reaction… her body had been taught how to react on demand. Her mouth remained closed but she was screaming on the inside. The little trees slid underneath her skirt and she felt tears well up in her eyes. NO. STOP. I DON’T WANT THIS. PLEASE STOP. Her mind screamed but as his fingers found her soiled undergarments and began to move against it, she couldn’t do anything but turn her head, blankly staring at nothing. Her body moved, trying to separate itself from the violator. Before she knew it, the hand had grown still and the breath of the man was closer than before. She turned her eyes to the side to see that he had been punched, blood starting to flow out of his nose and mouth. He was slouched above her. 

    She felt the tears slide down her cheeks and reached up to grip his uniform jacket. She pushed weakly, feeling the withheld cries rising in her throat. Any minute now, she was going to scream. Before she could, he was lifted off of her and tossed to the side like a rag doll. 

    “Marshall… are you-” She turned eyes up at him… the one who had saved her before. Iwase Hiroto. She felt wind breeze across her exposed chest and thighs and looked at him with an watery stare. 

    “Did you come to get some too?” She watched his eyes slide down her body. He wasn’t any different. He took his eyes off of her and cleared his throat. 

    “No.” Sure. Sure you didn’t. You sick bastard. Instead, he pulled off his uniform jacket. 

    “You keep getting yourself into trouble Ebere.” To her surprise, he covered her with his jacket and helped her up. He placed his jacket around her shoulders and told her to button it up. And he prepared to go to the Principal’s Office with her. She didn’t understand but as they walked down the hall…she wasn’t sure in that moment that she wanted to. Finally. Someone…someone had seen her. And… and wanted to save her. 

 

******

    “Hiroto was very important for you Rae.” She took a shaky breath. 

    “You think?”

    “Yes. He was the first person of the opposite sex that truly protected you. He was the only man whose hands did not take or abuse. Rather, they offered protection and tenderness. Am I right?” She felt tears come to her eyes. She was. She… she knew it but…

    “Rae… paint him for me. Let me see who you know him to be.” The tears fell down her cheeks but she held the phone tighter. The person she knew him to be…he had been so many things…so many. 

 

****** 

    The smell of summer was on the wind and she took deep breaths of the air with a soft smile. Fingers hid deep in silky strands and lips smiled against her bare thigh. The flowers danced with the breeze and the drops of water that splashed back from the bank were fresh and cold. He sighed against her skin and she scrunched up her nose at the feeling. 

    “Rae?”  She looked down at the boy who had become her most trusted friend and the love of her life. 

    “Yeah?” He had stretched out his long legs, feet bare and covered in dirt. 

    “Let’s go jump in the water…” She rolled her eyes and looked towards the rock with the single lone rope hanging from the thousand year old tree. 

    “I don’t think so.” He opened his eyes and turned to face her. 

    “Don’t be a scary cat.” She pursed her lips. 

    “I ain’t bein no scary cat.” He smiled, dimples flashing and pressed his nose into her skirt. 

    “You know I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.” 

    “If your tactic of getting your way is lowering your voice you wrong.” She shot back though her heart beat faster indeed. He sighed and slowly lifted and laid his cheek on her collarbone. 

    “We haven’t been here in a long time. I wanted to share it with you.” He said quietly, his nose nuzzling her skin. She bit her lip and wrapped her hand around his neck. It had been almost a year since they had come back to Nara. This time, there was no extended family. This time… it was just him and her. In his grandmother’s house. Just them two. 

    “Roto…” 

    “Soon we will graduate from high school. Soon, we’ll both have to grow up. Don’t you want to be a child a little longer?” He asked, turning his gorgeous brown eyes up at her. Her mouth grew dry. When he did that… her heart always managed to grew weak. 

    “That would be nice…” He smiled and lifted, his face growing closer. 

    “Be a child with me. Let’s be free Rae.” Her cheeks grew red. 

    “O-okay…” 

 

****** 

 

    They ran up the side of the rock laughing. She tugged on his hand, making him stop. 

    “Roto…we’re gonna get our uniforms wet…” He grinned and pulled her close by the waist. 

    “Let’s take them off.” She playfully pushed his chest with a scoff. 

    “You nasty. I ain’t playin with you Hiroto…” 

    “I wasn’t playing either.” He said with a cheeky grin. 

    “You tried it homie. You really did.” He laughed and lowered his chin onto her shoulder. 

    “At least our blazers hm?” She nibbled on her lip before, 

    “Okay. Our blazers.” He pulled away from her and began to remove his shoes. She slowly shrugged out of her blazer and took off her own shoes and socks. Being so high up, memories of what happened began to spin in her mind. 

    “Rae?” She opened her eyes to find his shirt half way off. No. No, she couldn’t…

    “Hiroto… I can’t… not…not after what happened here…” He let the shirt come off of his body and came up to her, hands caressing her cheeks. 

    “Breathe baby…” She closed her eyes and gripped his wrists, taking in deep breaths. 

    “Good. Deep.” His lips kissed her cheek and the corner of her mouth. She let his touch comfort her and she felt the dizziness subside and the sick turning of her stomach cease. Her grip loosened on his wrists. 

    “Look at me…” She slowly opened her eyes and looked into his gentle gaze. 

    “You’re above that fear that tugs in your mind. You’ve conquered it Rae. You’re stronger than you seem. Every force that is against you must surrender to you. It is already defeated. Do you understand?” She licked her lips and took in air through her nostrils. 

    “Yeah…” 

    “Emi was never going to defeat you. You conquered even her. Will you let this rock conquer you now? Or this water?” She was falling into his eyes… when his gaze grew deep like that… where she felt he was staring into her very heart and soul… she grew weak. 

    “No…I won’t.”

    “Mm?”

    “No. I…I can do it…” He smiled softly and nodded. 

    “Yes you can! He brushed her cheekbones with his thumbs and slid down to grab her hands. 

    “How do you feel? If you still don’t want to do it…we don’t have to. But… I want you to remember what I’ve said.” She bit her lips and tightened her grip on his hands. She looked up at him. 

    “I’m feeling like I can do it. With you… I feel I can do anything.” He blushed and brought her hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the skin. 

    “One jump. One time to celebrate your victory and your overcoming of life.” She grinned. She had overcome. Damn it, she had survived. He had too. 

    “Let’s do it Roto.” The grin that came to him mirrored hers and he pulled her back a bit. 

    “On three. One…two…three!” They ran as fast as they could and jumped onto the rope before letting go. She screamed and felt the laughter come up from her belly. Just the same, tears came to her eyes. 

    “Don’t let go of me!” She yelled as the water grew closer. 

    “I won’t!” They dove into the water and soon came up, hands tightly connected. She gasped and the fresh cool wind that met her shocked her. It felt just as good now as it did then. He pulled her closer, lifting to place her hand on his shoulder. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her cheek against his chin. 

    “You did it baby. I’m proud of you.” He said gently, his hands pulling her flush against him. She smiled and smoothed his hair back from his face. 

    “I’m proud of me too.” He brought a hand out of the water and stroked her cheek, biting his lip some. 

    “Rae?” There was that deep intense look again. If he wasn’t holding on to her, she might have sunk. That gaze did something to her… called parts of her body to live. 

    “Y-yeah?” 

    “I love you.” A bead of water slid down his lips and she felt her legs grow weak under water. 

    “I…I love you too…” She gently pulled back from him and soon away from his arms completely. She sighed and leaned back in the water, arching her back. She spread her arms out wide and felt the water glide through her fingers. She closed her eyes and let the water move her. She had never felt freer than in that moment. To flow with the element, so beautiful and powerful was unlike anything she had experienced before. Smiling to herself she leaned up to find Hiroto gone. 

    “Hiroto?” She looked around and all that met her was blue and crisp cold. She turned and saw nothing there. As she began to move in the water, she felt something come below her, hands pulling her backwards. Turning, she saw him emerge from the water, his breath heavy. He stopped her movements, pulling her back against him. 

    “You play too-” His lips silenced her and she melted at once. Her fingers gripped his forearms. His arms encircled around her hips and she gently reached up to graze his jaw with her fingertips. He pulled his lips back just enough to speak.

    “I have to be honest with you… right now.” His voice had grown throaty and she felt his body which had come alive press against her. 

    “G-Go ahead…” He opened his eyes and slowly pushed them closer to the edge where all the flowers and soft sweet grass lay. 

    “Swim with me…” She kicked her legs and sooner than later they had come upon the grassy banks. He pressed her back into the grass, ever so slightly sliding in between her legs. Her breath was taken as she took in the flushed cheeks…the way his lips part and the way the air came through. 

    “I’m trying very hard right now Rae…to the best of my ability…” She felt her womb flutter and turned her head, closing her eyes. 

    “What…is…is it?” She felt the grass above her head tighten as his fingers gripped it. His lips grew fire in her veins as they pressed to her jaw. 

    “I…I want to make love to you Rae.” She swallowed tightly and took a shaky breath. What could she say…Her voice croaked as she answered, 

    “I…um…” He sighed heavily. 

    “I apologize…” She nodded, her tongue dry.

    “I-It’s okay..” 

    “Let’s go…before we get ourselves in trouble ne?” He pulled back and got up, ruffling his hair. She slowly leaned up and made sure her skirt was covering her. She glanced up at him and he smiled, extending his hand. Pinkies connected, they made their way back to collect blazers and a shirt. The journey back to the house began. 

 

****** 

 

    “Such a passionate, tender and innocent love.” She leaned back onto her couch, a small smile on her face. 

    “Yeah. It was…” 

    “This young man… did he have his own story?” 

    “He experienced a lot of things…like I did.  He tried to hide it like I did but… together we naturally found ways to release the pain inside. He told me things he’s never told anyone else and… I did the same.” 

    “I see.” Gupta replied. 

    “I remember the pain being so much that he got shitface drunk this one time. I found him passed out on the side of the street as I was going to school.” 

    “That’s horrible!”

    “I was mad at him for days…nah weeks after. But… I understood. Sometimes, when the pain grew too much to handle…you didn’t know how to deal with it.” Gupta agreed softly. She sighed and continued, 

    “Hiroto became my reason for breathing… living… and loving. He showed me that not every man was a monster.” 

    “You became his healing and he became yours.” She nodded. 

    “We were two deeply hurt kids… who found each other in spite of it all. Ours was a love that only comes once in a lifetime.” She licked her lips and looked outside at Puget Sound, the birds swirling in the sky. 

    “But… he ruined it…what we had.” 

    “How?” She closed her eyes and leaned her head back on the couch cushion. 

    “I’ll tell you…” 

***** 

    It made sense later on. The reason why he had started to drink… despite his promises. He knew then. He knew…that he was going to betray her. Once she was on the plane and glanced down at her fingers, a gut wrenching sob escaped her throat and the other folks turned to look at her. She ignored them and pressed her forehead against the small plane window. In her mind, she had taken off the ring that symbolized all they were and threw it back in his face. The visions of them happy, laughing and free had been forced to stop and she hadn’t been ready. She was ready…prepared to give him her life. She had been ready and willing to finally let him into her most intimate private space and touch her soul. Out of all she had been through… he was the last one she had expected to hurt her so damn deep. 

    All the times his lips mouthed that he would never hurt her… that he’d never leave her…that he’d always be with her thick or thin… all of it… all of it was lies. The first man to prove her wrong had in the end proven her right. All men were fools. All men only thought with their dick. They didn’t care to know the woman beyond her breasts, ass and pot of honey between her legs. Tears streamed down her face and she pushed her head back against the plane seat. 

    What they had had… she thought it real… transcendent of time and space. But he might as well have hit her in the face, beat upon her heart and thrown it to the ground. He had dropped her in the way men tended to do and had decided something new was in order. Perhaps… perhaps Emi was right all along. She had warned her, told her that he would get tired and bored of her and replace her. Seems she truly did know him better. Someday soon, he would have a pretty fresh faced girlfriend… a girlfriend he was always supposed to be with. One who was perfect and proper, rich and dainty… and most of all… Japanese. She was going back to her place… and so was he. It had been fun. Nice. But perhaps… she was never supposed to be with him…someone like him. Sighing and clutching her shirt she bit her lips. The pain that coursed throughout her chest was enough to make her dizzy and she stayed still for hours after the plane left the shores of the place she had been proud to call home. 

 

******* 

    “He made a pact with his parents… to marry the girl they chose…for the sake of his family. I guess I never was meant to understand the world of the rich and powerful. I guess he did have some obligations, being the only son of one of the most well known entrepreneurial and existing samurai families in Japan.”     

    “That’s quite a decision he made… one I cannot imagine the pain it produced. I cannot give my personal opinion but let me say one thing. You both were young. At that age, you two may have been deeply and irrevocably in love. But the point is that you two were bound to make decisions that weren’t as wise as they could have been.” 

    “I wouldn’t have cared… we could have made every mistake in the book… as long… as long as I had him with me.” She said, her voice shaky. 

    “We could have been… we could have been happy Atmikha. It didn’t matter about the money or fame or any of that. I loved him. Not what he had. Can you imagine us… having been married now ten years…happy with kids…can you…”  Her voice broke off and she allowed the tears to fall, biting her lips. 

    “But he chose some fake plastic bitch with money… because Mommy and Daddy said so… so he did it….I just…it’s shit like that that makes me never want to fall in love again. At least when bodies were used you knew what you were getting into. I use you… you use me. No strings. No commitments. No beautiful words or promises that were going to be broken…just sex.” She lifted a shaky hand and wiped her tears. 

    “Rae…” 

    “But all of that has brought nothing but misery. A cycle that seemed like it would continue forever. Atmikha…am I a fool for wanting to possibly forgive him? Am I a fool because…I still… still love him…” For a moment, Gupta was quiet and then, 

    “I wonder what must have gone through his mind. Knowing that he had agreed to break the love of his life’s heart. What could have been his motive? Surely, he had let you into his soul as you had let him. Was he truly just a man who only thought with his genitals or was it deeper?” Her watery eyes found the expanse of the blue sky again, the birds still soaring. 

    “I believe that it broke his heart just as much as it did yours. He was just as much a victim as you were Rae. I’m not excusing his actions by any means. I gather cultural differences must have played a role in his decision making as well. Collectivist societies are more community based… whereas here in America it’s the self… thinking and acting for the self. I imagine that more than anything… you were the one he wanted to be with.” She licked her lips. 

    “And look where we are…”

    “Still in love.” Gupta answered. She closed her eyes. Still in love. 

    “How do I know he’s not doing all this just because he feels guilty. He still has that chick… is still in a relationship with her…what if he’s doing this-”  

    ****** 

    “Let me tell you something. You were and will continue to be… the only one whose lips will bring me to my knees….”

    “…I’m…sorry… that I put you in a position where you ever had to doubt what you meant to me Rae. Hopefully now… it’s loud and clear…” He opened his eyes and brushed the tears away with his thumbs. 

    “…I’ve never stopped loving you…” 

    “…I missed you baby…” 

 

*****

    She couldn’t speak. The words had died on her tongue and she just sniffed. 

    “Rae?” 

    “Y-yeah…”

    “You were saying?” 

    “…I-I don’t think he’s doin it cause he’s guilty…I-well I remembered some things he said just now.” 

    “Like?” 

    “B-Before I came to Seattle…I had called him.”

    “So you’ve been in contact with him?” 

    “Not much but some. I’ve been avoiding him. It so happens that I see him every other day. He attends business meetings and stuff.”

    “Mmhm.”

    “Yeah and so this one time…I was contemplating suicide…and I found a card he had sent me with his number on it…and…I called him and-and asked him to come to my house. I’m stupid for even asking him but he came over. And at the end of our meeting… I-I k-kissed him…” Gupta grew quiet. 

    “H-hello?”

    “I’m listening sweetie…”

    “I wanted to know if he…if that chick….if…” She stopped, feeling ashamed. 

    “I missed him. I’m…I feel stupid because I still…I…”

    “Listen to me Rae. You are not stupid or foolish. Listening to you talk about him… it gives me hope that you’ll make it through this process. The love between you two cannot be destroyed, even though you’ve been apart for a long while. I’m glad that you made some effort… even though inside you probably felt horrible. It is so promising.” 

    “Promising for what?”

    “It’s a great opportunity to let a new seed grow between you. I know he hurt you. Deeply. But, promise me you’ll give him a chance. Even a tiny bit of one.” She felt tears come to her eyes. 

    “I…I’ll…”

    “You don’t have to give me an answer. I just want you to think about it. For now honey, we’ll continue on! I’m proud of you. You’ve done so well Rae.” She smiled, reaching up to wipe her tears. 

    “T-thank you…I have talked your ear off too long this time.” Gupta laughed. 

    “I’m glad you’re talking it out. Now that you’ve gotten it out.. now you can breathe.” 

    “Yeah.” 

    “I want to say one thing before we go…”

    “Sure.”

    “What you and Hiroto have… it is truly transcendent of time, space and comprehension. People live their entire lives never once knowing the deep intimacy and love you two have for one another. I hope that you can push past this and choose happiness. With him. That life you dreamed of long ago…it can be yours again. Don’t forget that.”

    “O-okay.” They bid each other goodbye. Laying her phone on the couch, she sighed and leaned over to lay on her pillows. She once again felt light as air and much more free. She closed her eyes, exhausted from the crying and drifted to sleep. 

 

***** 

 

    The rain poured and it pelted against the earth harshly. Today would be the day she found herself without an umbrella. She scoffed and wrapped her arms around herself. The warm humid summer air was making the hair at the base of her neck even more poofy. Sighing, she stood underneath a convenient store awning. The store had closed twenty minutes ago and by the time the door had been locked, the rain had started. All the employees had driven away to their respective homes… to their families. Yet… here she stayed…stranded. She sighed again heavily. Tonight Mina-chan told her she was going to make a fresh tomato and cucumber salad with soba and mochi ice cream. She wanted to be there to help. Damn. 

    “Rae?” A voice brought her out of her grumbling and she blinked at the owner of it. 

    “Hiroto?” He stood in the rain, a clear translucent umbrella shielding the rain from him. 

    “Why are you-”

    “Came for some milk.” She said, cutting him off. 

    “Ah.” She rubbed her arms as the rain started to turn cold. The wind blew around her bare legs up through the skirt of her dress and she held it steady. 

    “Would you like a walk home?”

    “I’m good.” But the minute it left her lips, she knew it sounded stupid. She had been standing in the rain for over twenty minutes now with no fare for the train. Dumb. Dumb and Dumb. 

    “Are you sure? I’m headed that way.” His breath came out as mist and she shivered. 

    “O-okay…fine…” He came to stand in front of her, covering her with the umbrella. 

    “You look so cold…” He mused, glancing over her. 

    “And yet you don’t.” He grinned. 

    “I’m a man. We carry our heat better.” She rolled her eyes. 

    “Whatever.” 

    “Come on.” He said with a gentle laugh. She got underneath and they began to walk. 

    “How was your day?” He asked as they walked. 

    “Fine.” 

    “Just fine?”

    “Just fine.” 

    “Mm.” Silence grew and the sound of rain was almost deafening. 

    “Hiroto?” It was a little bit before he spoke. 

    “Yes?” She twiddled her thumbs behind her. 

    “Um…a-about N-Nara…” 

    “I apologize. I…I shouldn’t have been so reckless…” 

    “No! No… I…ah…I d-didn’t m-mind.” He looked down at her. 

    “I don’t like us um…. not talking. I know I initiated it…but I just… I couldn’t…”

    “I understand. I got carried away.” 

    “Roto…” He licked his lips and looked away from her. She bit her lips and slowly, grabbed a handful of his sweater. Pressing her face against his ribcage, she sighed. They came to a stop. 

    “If… if nothing existed between us…that would get in the way…I…I think I’d have let you… let you have me.” His breath grew more deep and she kept her face hidden away in his sweater. 

    “I can’t help but trust you…I think…I think you would show me what it really is like…t-to make love…” She felt his arm come around her shoulders and press her closer against him. 

    “I’m… learning…you’re teaching me that wanting to.. wanting to do it isn’t… isn’t bad. When two people truly love each other… they should want to. Right?” She finally peeked up at him.

    “Mm. That’s right. You’re teaching me something too baby. That I shouldn’t be afraid of wanting to make love to you…” 

    “That it’s not bad…” He smiled. 

    “That it’s not bad.” He said with a gentle wink. She let out a breath. 

    “I’m sorry…” He shook his head with a tender smile. 

    “Mm. Let’s get you home now hm?” 

    “Let’s go.” 

 

***** 

    He once told me that I conquered life. That I conquered near death and that I had an innate light so bright evil had to flee. Thinking back on it.. I wonder if he knew he spoke such life…such light…such breath. He called me an overcomer. Even though I’m still…still hurting…I’m becoming less afraid to live and to learn. Most of all…. I’m becoming less afraid…in my feelings for him. I still feel some shame…in admitting that. But my heart misses him. It wants to be connected to his again. I love him. Every cell in my body cries out for him…to him. I am scared. But….but what if I want to try to conquer that too? Can I do it? 

End Notes:

 

A/N: Wooo this was such a long chapter. The longest I think so far of the story. Understandably so. This is Hiroto we're talking about. :) I for one love this chapter because it's so tender in its memories. It's so real... and raw. I love that this time, we get to see it from Rae's perspective... what she was thinking... how she was feeling. I almost shed a tear. lol. *sigh* Rae's come so far in just two months. I can't wait for her to return and for her and her love to find each other again. They've been through so much. Too much. All they deserve is a life of peace, happiness and love. It will be my pleasure to give that to them. <3 Next chapter isn't really a chapter. It's going to be a transitioning piece from Rae to Hiroto. And then, we'll start with Mr. Iwase. I'm excited y'all. Let's go. 

Be blessed, love you and thank you for reading! 

D&L 

Be set free by the renewing of your mind! 

 

P.S: Hey guys! I wanted to ask if you could donate between 4-10 dollars (about the cost of a romance novel on Amazon) not just to help me secure funds for next academic year but to fund my writing! I have thought seriously about this and I think I may want to go into freelancing! I think that my writing skills are strong enough to where someone may benefit from them. I don't know what to do first or where to start but I think this would be a great start! :) I would not mind continuing to do it for free (as y'all know) and I'm asking only if you feel led to! I don't want to ask for charges and you feel obligated! By no means am I forcing the 4-10 dollars on you! It would be a great help not just to a student but to a creative artist/writer. <3 Thank you! God bless! 

GOFUNDME LINK: https://www.gofundme.com/5fksue44

Clean by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

 

    The water was cold and chilled her bare toes. She sighed and tilt her head back to let the breeze tickle her neck. Smiling, she took a breath before she slowly walked into the slow building waves. Waves of white billowed behind her and the sunlight warmed her skin. She slowly grew deeper in the depths and once the water reached her ribcage she stopped. Reaching up, she let down her hair and sighed. Turning, she opened her arms and leaned back until she became submerged. 

 

 

 

******

 

    Today is the day. I feel the presence of God more now than I ever have and it’s overwhelming me. I feel like I can do this. I can finally let go of the demons who have tormented me for 28 years of my life. Finally, I have enough courage to do so. My past dies today. I know I have a way to go… these two months have only been the catalyst to a beautiful transformation. But today…today is the day that the old Rae passes away. Starting this moment forward…I promise to be a better new me. Not for anyone else but for me. It’s taken so damn long for me to get here… and now that I am… I’m not going back. It’s scary as hell. But… if The Almighty Father can love me… even in the midst of all my filth…if He can still call me beautiful, worthy, royalty…His precious Daughter…then I have to try. I have to see me how He sees me. It feels good…to know that I’m coming home. 

 

 

 

****** 

 

 

 

    The water warmed her soul and she came up for air, her dress heavy. She felt tears well up in her eyes and slowly they slid down her cheeks. Was it real? Was she finally…allowed to be free? This road to recovery had been a lot of things… but out of it came a new metamorphosis. As she leaned back into the rising current, she closed her eyes. And alas, behold…the old hath passed away! Behold, for I hath created a new thing! She felt the waves pluck the dirtiness from her soul and carry it far into the horizon. The lust, the perversion, the abuse, molestation, the grief, pain, loss, rejection, anger, bitterness… all of it. Stripped from the root and cast into the depths. 

 

    “And now… let the root be burned…let me be made new…” She whispered to the wind. And now… alas… she was clean. Now, she could start her life again…with the reassurance that no matter how shaky ground got or how the wind throttled and thrashed… her foot would always be placed upon a solid rock where she could stand. 

End Notes:

A/N: HEY GUYSSS!!! It 's SPRING BREAK! :D YAYYYYYY! This is my second day of break and while I have to work this week as per normal, I am glad I get some down time with no classes. :) I've missed you! Alas, we are at the transitional moment between Rae and Hiroto! :) The next chapter will start Hiroto's journey. :D I love this short chapter because it is so vivid and beautiful in what it represents! :) God bless guys! See you soon! :) 

 

Be set free by the renewing of your mind! 

 

Shine into the sky, bright and yellow! 

 

D&L~<3

 

2 Corthinians 5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." 

 

Isaiah 43:19 "Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert." 

 

John 3:5 "Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God." 

Her by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 


Fingers slid through his hair. 


    “Hiroto…” He stirred and slowly opened his eyes to find her above him, a gentle smile on her face. He blinked and reached up to grasp her wrist. 


    “Rae?” She smiled wider, her teeth showing. 


    “Why you sleepin out here?” 


    “Out here?” He looked around them. Vast field surrounded them, the shreds of grass tall and green. 


    “Rae…how did you get here?” She giggled and leaned down to press her lips against his forehead. 


    “Don’t be askin dumb questions. You’re the reason I’m here.” He looked up to find her eyes on him, her hair shielding everything. 


    “You look so tired baby.” Her voice was quiet and her fingertips softly caressed his chin. He sighed and closed his eyes. 


    “I am.” He felt her kiss his lips before he felt her lean back. He slowly lifted from her lap and laid next to her. Wrapping an arm loosely around her waist, he sighed against her chest. She was so warm. Her sweet scent filled his nostrils and he smiled. 


    “Rest for a while. I’ll be here to protect you.” She wrapped her arms around him and soon he fell into a relaxed deep sleep. 


 


*****


    He jolted awake. Gripping the side of the tub, he slowly sat up. There was a dull ache in his neck and the water had grown cool. He sighed and leaned back against the smooth porcelain, laying his head back against the rim. Reaching up, he pushed his hair out of his eyes. This was the second time he had fallen asleep in the bath this week. This was the first dream he’d had of Rae in a long while. He felt a soft pain in his chest. His heart ached. Looking up to the ceiling, he grew still. Tears began to well up in his eyes and he didn’t try to stop them. He missed her so much. But the pain he had caused her… the pain she felt because of him…It was too much to think about. So he hid behind the mountainous agendas, business plans, contracts, meeting notes and assignments. Behind his cherry wood doors. If he worked hard enough, maybe he wouldn’t see her teary eyes and hear them in her voice. Maybe he wouldn’t relive the day it all happened late at night. He sat in the bath until it grew cold. But alone, always it never failed. Standing up, he shivered. He didn’t want to think about it any more… not tonight. He hoped when he fell asleep, he’d have some peace.     


 


*******


     “Mr. Iwase?” A voice called softly. He didn’t reply. Instead he stared at the stack of paper work that piled up on his desk. He stared. It stared back. The longer he looked at it, he felt his heart begin to pound in his chest and a vein in his temple throb. 


    “Mr. Iwase?” The response that met his secretary was a growl and she blinked as she peeked her head in. 


    “Are you okay?” He sat up straighter, clearing his throat. 


    “What do you need?” 


    “Ah, there is a visitor-”


    “Kiko yes?” His secretary blushed and slowly lowered her eyes. 


    “Yes sir.” He stood and passed her as he slipped through the door, much to her surprise. 


    “Ah, Mr. Iwase…” He sharply inhaled and turned the corner. As he came into the foyer, a baffled Kiko blinked as she stood. 


    “I-I was just getting ready to come to you…” 


    “I decided to meet you here.” She bit her bottom lip. 


    “What I have to say I don’t want others to hear…” She whispered quietly. 


    “Kiko,” She looked up at him. 


    “I want you to leave.” Her mouth dropped open and she stared, hurt and shock finding its way into her features. 


    “I’m…I’m sorry?” 


    “Leave. Now.” Her fingers gripped her small purse and she pinched her lips tightly together. 


    “Hi-Hiroto… why are you being like this?” He inhaled through his nostrils. 


    “I have enough on my plate right now. Your presence has become a burden. If you have nothing productive to add to my day then refrain from coming to visit.” He didn’t say another word and turned to go back into his office, the shocked stares of his employees burning a hole in his back. He let the wooden doors close behind him and sighed before falling into his seat. She had made it her mission to visit him twice a week, sometimes three. She was satisfied with sitting there watching him work. He on the other hand was not. He felt suffocated. In lieu of securing familial affairs and business, he was starting to feel greatly overwhelmed. The stress had built up so much that his body was starting to ache. He reached up and intentionally messed up his hair. Reaching for his phone, he dialed Tobu’s number. On the fourth ring, a gruff voice answered, 


    “Hello?” 


    “Tobu…” 


    “It’s one in the morning Hiro-kun…” 


    “I apologize for calling so late.” He figured it would be late. 


    “What’s wrong? You sound stressed as hell.” He smiled. Tobu was astute as always. 


    “Do I?”


    “Am I right?” He sighed and his grin fell off his face. 


    “I could honestly go for a smoke right now.” He felt like he could smoke several packs. He heard Tobu sit up. 


    “You haven’t smoked since junior high. It must be bad man.” 


    “Everything is piling up around me…”


    “I’m sure that woman isn’t making anything better.”


    “Yeah about her…”


    “When will you admit that you never should have brought her with you?” He blinked, licking his lips. 


    “I wanted to give her a chance to be free.” 


    “I understand Hiro-kun. But, she hasn’t taken the chance. She doesn’t see anything outside of wanting to take you from Rae.” He sat back in his chair and closed his eyes. 


    “Mm.” 


    “You can’t fix her.” 


    “Is that what I’ve been trying to do?” 


    “Mm. Perhaps she’s okay with it. Maybe she doesn’t want to change. She’s okay as long as she has you chained at her side.” 


    “No…that’s unacceptable.” 


    “Where’s Rae?” 


    “Ah…I believe she took a break. Rossi has another employee in her place.”


    “Ah.” 


    “It’s been about two months.”


    “Wow. Quite some time.”


    “Yes. I’m glad that she decided to do so.”


    “What about you?” He furled his eyebrows together. 


    “What about me?”


    “You should take a break too Hiro-kun.” He reached up to ruffle his hair.     


    “I can’t.”


    “Can’t or won’t?”


    “Can’t. Who can I trust to take care of affairs while I’m gone?” 


    “What about Ishimoto?” 


    “I could ask him…but I don’t think he’d bite.”


    “You’d basically give him top position as long as you’re gone. Who wouldn’t bite?”


    “How can I be sure he won’t…”


    “Are you concerned about loyalty?” He turned to look outside of his window.


    “Perhaps.”


    “Ishimoto is not a man who will play you. He’s one of your best employees, has a strong head on his shoulders and wants to do the right thing. He believes in your vision and supports you. Out of every employee there, Ishimoto is the last one you have to worry about.” He balled his lips and inhaled deeply. 


    “Very true…” Ishimoto Shouchi was one of his most honest and prudent employees. He believed in the vision he had for the company so much that he had followed him to the States. He truly was a genuine guy, a man who tried to make his wife and small son proud.     


    “Ishimoto will do fine.”  


    “I think so too.” Tobu agreed. 


    “Now that that is settled… where shall I go?” 


    “Don’t dwell too hard about that. Just go where you feel you must. Rae is coming back in a little while right? You wanna be ready for that right?” He licked his lips and smiled softly. 


    “Mm.”


    “If you guys don’t reconcile soon, I’ll make you two reconcile. It’s been ten years already. You two might as well stop and get back together. Put us all out of our misery.”  He smiled.


    “Mm.” Tobu sighed. 


    “I miss that woman and I want her back in my life. So, I need you to hurry up. I don’t have time for your games.”


    “Mm. I’m sure she misses you too Tobu.” He snorted. 


    “You have to do it right this time. Because this time, if you screw up, I will put you in the hospital. I love you and all but I love Rae more. You got one chance. Don’t blow it.”  He chuckled. 


    “I understand.” Tobu sighed again, a smile in his voice. 


    “Let me know how it goes hm? All jokes aside, I know you got this. Just take some time for you. When she does come back, you will be ready.” 


    “I will.”


    “Mm. Now let me go to sleep.” 


    “Alright. Thanks man.”


    “Anytime.” He hung up and smiled as he set the phone down on the couch. Tobu was right as usual. The man really didn’t think of himself as an old sage but he was quite wise for his young age. He always had been. For that, he was grateful. He owed Tobu this trip. He owed it to him to get Rae back. Biting his lip, he got up and got his briefcase. Gathering his belongings, he turned off the lights and began to head out of the office. 


 


****** 


 


    “You’re going away?” He stood over suitcases and placed items inside. 


    “Yes.” 


    “Where?”


    “None of your concern.” The exasperated woman who sat on his couch got up and walked over to him and grabbed his wrist, stopping him from placing something else into the suitcase. 


    “Hiro…” He didn’t meet her eyes. 


    “Look at me.” He tightened his jaw and brought his eyes up to hers. 


    “You cannot convince me to stay.” 


    “It’s not about that.” 


    “What is it about?”


    “Let’s go home.” She gently smiled at him. He stared into her eyes with a dull glare. 


    “Home?”


    “Yes. Back to Japan. I’m sure by now your mother has gotten better.” He felt a small smirk come to his face and chuckled, making her blink. 


    “You’re free to go back Noa. At any time, you can go.” 


    “What…what about you?” He licked his lips before speaking again, 


    “I’m staying here.” Her eyes grew wide. 


    “How…how can you not want to go home?” Truly, this woman was in an alternate universe. It was time she came back to earth. 


    “I will go home but it won’t be with you.” His words registered on her face and he slowly pulled her hand off of his person. 


    “I have to finish packing. Do whatever you want to.”


 


****** 


    A few days later… 


Hocking Hills, Ohio 


 


 


    Rich green swirled around him and the smell of pine and dirt gave off a heady scent. His legs began to ache for the road. In yet another place of unfamiliarity, he felt a bit unsettled. But the nature more than made up for it. He had decided on a place called Hocking Hills, a suggestion by one of his business associates. He’d never been to the state of Ohio but from the beautiful looks of it, this wouldn’t be his last visit. Smiling to himself, he continued driving until he came to his temporary residence. He had secured his absence with Ishimoto who was honored to temporarily take over for him while he was gone. He had forwarded all of his business meetings and agendas for the next two months to him as well. 


    Sighing, he got of his rental car and took in a deep breath of the crystal clear air. The moon was high and bright. He set eyes on the cabin he had rented for his stay. He wanted to keep things simple. The best part of it was the sound of gently flowing water. It had a small waterfall next to it. He knew it would be a place where he felt he could finally pull out everything he had been hiding. Everything that needed to come out. He pulled his belongings into the house and soon after got into a bath. Closing his eyes, he submerged underwater. 


*******


    After much fighting, he had decided to make an appointment with a local therapist. A part of him didn’t want to. But a greater need dwelled within him. For the moment, at the moment, he needed to be free. He had to lay everything out on the table…he couldn’t keep himself enslaved any longer. 


    “Mr. Iwase?” He sighed and reached up to rub his temples. He nervously licked his lips and stood up.


    “Yes?” 


    “Did you want to start our appointment?” He didn’t want to be here. Maybe he should go. He felt disoriented and lifted a shaky hand to slide through his hair. The man smiled in a friendly manner and motioned towards a hallway. You have to do this. It’s time to stop running. He took a breath. 


    “Yes.”


    “Please… this way.” Slowly, he began to follow the man and soon they stepped into his office. 


****** 


 


    “It is nice to meet you. I am Dr. Satou Ryoichi.” 


    “Iwase Hiroto. It is nice to meet you.” He nodded.  


    “Would it make you comfortable to converse in Japanese?” Satou asked. He blinked. He privately worried being in America too long would make him lose traces of it. Perhaps Satou missed their native tongue as well.


    “Mm.”


    “No problem then. Is this better?” He nodded. 


    “That’s good. I am well aware that you have a very busy schedule so we will utilize the most of our time.” He gripped the insides of his pockets. 


    “There is no need to rush. I have dedicated two months to this.” Satou nodded. 


    “That’s great! Now, I know that this is a slightly far drive for you. Are you sure that you would not feel more comfortable elsewhere? I want to make sure I am not inconveniencing you.” He shook his head. 


    “It’s fine Mr. Satou. There are no cutting corners around this one. Besides, it is quite nice to have someone to share in my mother tongue. I doubt I would get that anywhere else.” Satou laughed and nodded. 


    “Indeed. Well, today will be a bit impromptu. I shall leave the floor to you. We can talk about anything that you are comfortable with sharing.”  He nodded, nervously turning to look out of the window. What about that which he wasn’t comfortable?


    “I see.” 


    “Also, one more thing. In this space, everything you share is confidential and will not leave this room.” He took a deep breath. Was anything truly confidential? Having to put himself in the open again was nerve wracking. 


    “Where do I begin…” 


    “Wherever you wish.” 


    “I should warn you Doctor…it’s quite a bit of years.” 


    “We’ll take it one at a time.” He stared out of the window, at the greenery. 


    “I have tried for so long to hide this. I had succeeded for a while but I suppose it must come out again.” Satou was quiet but attentive as he began to speak again. 


    “There was this girl that I once loved. She was radiant and shined like gold. She was pure, her heart big and warm as the sun. Her laughter could stop war and her glance could start them.” He turned to look at Satou. 


    “This girl saved me in so many ways. And yet, though we have aged and grown into man and woman… still I can’t forget how I ruined her. I’ll start at the moment my life turned into hell.” 


 


*******


    “HIROTO! OH MY GOD SOMEBODY CALL THE POLICE!” The voice that screamed his name sounded so far away…Was he dead? He felt weightless and lofty. 


    “Hiroto! Open your eyes honey!” Wait. It was growing closer. No. He didn’t want it to. Drifting in and out of consciousness felt strange. Almost like playing with life and death. He wanted to feel this a little longer… 


    “We’re lifting him Ma’am, please let go…” Police? No… leave me alone… leave me be. He didn’t want to think or be moved. He just wanted to let the dark surround him in quiet stillness. 


 


**** 


    “What happened?” He swallowed, a lump forming in his throat. 


    “I had just broke her heart…” 


    “Does this girl have a name?” 


    “…Her name is Ebere.”  His heart twisted painfully.


    “Ah. Interesting name.”


    “Indeed.” 


    “How did you break her heart?” He tightened his jaw. 


    “My parents wanted me to get married…I was insistent on Rae being my wife. I couldn’t see myself living without her. But apparently…the approval of people who had made my life hell was more important.”


    “You promised your parents marriage?” 


    “Yes. That day… I was figuring out how I would tell her…I had promised her so many things. I’d come with her to America. I’d never leave her. I’d never hurt her or betray her. Fate had it that she showed up…I didn’t know what to do. How could I tell her I had chosen something that would destroy her?” 


 


***** 


    The monitor beeped and he felt the darkness recede as sudden light and life slammed into him, taking his breath. His eyes popped open and he gasped for air. The light was so bright. He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped what lay underneath him in his fingers. Okay, he could move. He felt detached. Tiny white blue dots converged behind his eyelids and the intake of his breath was much more apparent. Silence. Nothing moved and yet everything did. The blood in his veins rushed at the speed of light. His heart pounded against his chest. He licked his dry cracked lips and slowly reopened his eyes. Four crisp white walls and a large window. Cool morning air. His fingers pale from gripping the sheets. Letting go, he turned to see the machines and tubes connected to him. 


    “Rae…” He spoke softly, his voice gruff. The air sent goosebumps across his flesh and he shuddered. The line of his heart peaked with a steady beep but as his eyes watched it dully, he felt dead. 


    “Rae…” He began to pull the needles out of his arm and grit his teeth, the pain of the IV needle fresh like rain. Pressing down on his arm, he slowly placed his feet on the floor. Cold sensation shot through his body but he ignored it. The smells of the hospital were starting to catch up to his nose and it was turning his stomach. More signs he was still alive. Food. On the table, there was some left with a napkin. Grabbing the napkin, he tied it around his bleeding arm and ripped off the hospital gown. He tore open the closet and began to dress in his clothes. He had to get out of here. While he had a chance, maybe he could catch her. If he hurried… maybe he could make all this right. Looking out of the window, he was glad that he wasn’t too far up. Slipping out of it, he jumped. The minute he hit the pavement, he began to run. 


 


******* 


    “Where did you go?” 


    “I went to her guardian’s home first.”


    “And?”


    “Nothing. Rae wasn’t there.”


    “Hm.”


    “I didn’t have enough time to explain everything to Ms. Minako but by the look on her face, she had already gotten the gist. I soon left and tried to contact my friend Tobu with the hopes that he could drive me to the airport.” 


 


*******


    “What is going on Hiroto-kun?” Tobu asked as he sped down the freeway. 


    “I fucked up Tobu. I really fucked up.” 


    “W-what do you mean?” He couldn’t sit still and lifted fidgety fingers to slide through his hair. 


    “I let her go Tobu. I let her walk away from me like a coward.”         


    “You did w-what? H-how?” 


    “I wanted to get back at my parents. Show them the hell they showed me. I thought agreeing would do it. But…” For the first time in their entire friendship, Tobu looked pissed. 


    “What did you do Hiroto?”  The anger so evident that he had even stopped stuttering and dropped the honorific. 


    “Tobu…”


    “If you let Rae go because of some dumb shit… I will kill you.” He felt like someone had punched him in the gut. Tobu had never cursed at him… much less cursed at all. The tone of voice so unlike the one he was used to. It was unnerving. 


    “I-I agreed…I agreed to marry another girl…” Tobu’s fingers gripped the steering wheel and for the longest he was quiet. He felt dizzy and squeezed his eyes shut. 


    “Tobu…” 


    “Do you want me to feel sorry for you?”


    “No…N-No I just want to get to the airport.” Tobu’s jaw tightened. 


    “I hope she is there.” The rest of the ride was silent and once they pulled into the parking lot, he didn’t waste any time. He got out of the car and ran into the entrance. Running up to a flight attendant, he caught his breath to speak. 


    “Excuse me, are there any flights to the United States still within the airport?” The woman blushed but pursed her lips. 


    “Let me see. One moment.” She typed for a few moments. 


    “Ah, there is one flight scheduled to leave today.” His heart beat faster. 


    “There is someone important on that plane that I have to see. Is that possible?” The woman pursed her lips deeper, her eyes growing sad. 


    “I’m sorry sir but the flight just left.” He felt his knees grow weak and gripped the counter. 


    “She’s…she’s gone…” He felt tears well up in his eyes and they fell faster than he had time to comprehend. Cries escaped his chest and he pressed his face against his hands. Rae…His Rae…gone. 


    “Don’t…don’t leave…please. Don’t go…stay…stay…with me…” He cried, slowly falling to his knees. The woman came from behind the counter and gently touched his shoulder. 


    “Sir? A-Are you okay?” He wasn’t okay. And for a while after that, no one was okay. 


 


****** 


 


    “…After that, Tobu stopped talking to me. Ms. Minako stopped talking to me. It seemed everyone I had loved suddenly wanted nothing to do with me anymore. The only people who wanted to be around me were my parents.”


    “Ah, that must have been ni-”


    “They only wanted me to meet the girl they had chosen to be my wife. It wasn’t because they felt sorry or anything of that nature.” Satou frowned and leaned back in his seat. 


    “Hiroto… if I may call you that?”


    “Go ahead.”


    “The way in which you talk about Rae…you still love her strongly.”     


    “I can’t express how much.” 


    “The first thing you must do is forgive yourself Hiroto.” He shook his head, tears welling up. 


    “No. I can’t. How can I? You don’t know how deeply I hurt her.” 


    “If you want to move forward…with your life…you have to try. Wherever she is… do you think she would want you to hate yourself?”


    “Probably.”


    “I don’t think so. I think she would want you to move on. You never quite know. She might very well be waiting for you to come retrieve what was lost.”  He swallowed. 


    “I don’t think you understand. Just how far I sunk. You know nothing about me. But once the layers come undone, you will see that I have a lot under my skin.” Satou was quiet, waiting for him to continue. 


    “It still haunts me. I can’t sleep. On repeat, memories of her and I… the love we once shared… the hurt and betrayal in her voice… A part of her died that day.” 


    “May I ask how you came to know her?” He looked away. 


    “The way we met was unfortunate. But I’m glad out of it I met her. The day she arrived I had to protect her against some perverted classmates. The school was very poor in its administrative policies. Rather, the institution we attended was more concerned about money and fame. Being that everyone who attended came from prestigious families, it made sense. Rae was the only one who hadn’t been included in that social circle. Because of that, she had a target on her back. But even so, I thought she was very much like me. Aside from her skin color, she was the ugly duckling. As was I. I thought she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. Everything from the way she held hashi…to the way she held her cup…delicate like sakura.” Satou smiled. 


    “She sounds beautiful.” 


    “Her eyes were so big and brown. So expressive.” 


     “Was she Caucasian?”


    “No. She is African-American.” 


    “Ah…That adds another level of complexity I’m sure.” 


    “Everyone wanted to see us separated. They wanted me to hate her because she was dark. Because she wasn’t wealthy. But I loved her because she was different. Out of every woman I had been with… Rae was so tender. She loved just as hard as I did. She supported me when I fell, took care of me without complaint. She gave her friendship and love freely and cherished all of who I was.” 


    “Mm.”


    “That is why…when I chose to hurt her the way I did… it almost destroyed me.” 


 


****** 


    He sat on the side of the road, an almost empty bottle of sake in his hand. He watched the cars fly past. The night was quiet and the stars hidden behind clouds. He lifted the bottle to his lips and drank it all until he fell back against the pavement. He wasn’t sure how he made it back to his parents’ house or how he went to school the next morning but he had. He tuned out the lessons and looked out of the window. All they did was regurgitate what was taught to them. Information he already knew. Pointless. 


    “Iwase?” Eyes found Hasune Michiko who looked sheepishly at him. 


    “What?” 


    “Um… um…are you o-okay? Where is…your girlfriend?” He clenched his fingers together. 


    “Clearly, she’s not here. I’m sure you can see that.” Hasune blushed. 


    “I-I’m sorry f-for asking s-stupid q-questions. You just look so…so alone.” He stood and leaned down, her face closer. 


    “Would you like to keep me company?” Her blush grew in intensity and her eyes grew wide. 


    “I-Iwase…I-I…” 


    “Yes or no. Simple question.” His eyes held no life in them. She slowly nodded, the blush creeping down her neck. 


    “Y-yes…” If he were in the laughing mood, he would have laughed. Women were all the same. They didn’t know when he tested them. But so many times, they failed. Eager to have a taste of him, to brag to their friends. All of them hypocrites. Not one of them were as innocent as they passed it off. 


    “You want to know what it’s like right?” He whispered into her ear. She grew stiff. 


    “Iwase-”


    “You want to brag right?” He stood up and grabbed her hand. 


    “I’ll give you something to brag about.” She could barely keep up with her short legs and he nearly pulled her down the hall. Slipping into an empty closet, he soon fell into his routine…something as natural to him as breathing. He pressed her against the storage rack and lifted her skirt. 


    “If you wanted me before Michiko, you should have told me.” She squeezed her eyes shut and gripped the rack above her. He lifted her into his arms and slid in-between her legs. 


    “I-Iwase…” He leaned down and pressed his lips stiffly against hers. He didn’t want to hear her speak. It was better that way. She lifted shaky hands to grip his uniform jacket. Thus began the best time of her life and yet again another day in his despair. 


 


***** 


    He felt his body begin to tremble and he gripped his fingers together tightly.


    “It was the same. Every time. At some point, I fucked until I grew numb. Until I couldn’t feel it anymore. The pleasure became dull… a slightly burn in the back of my throat. I used it…I used them to escape my pain. Replace pain with pleasure and everything becomes much better. So I thought. But it did nothing to replace what I felt. Still, in the back of my mind, I wanted her. Nights were spent being tormented…So close…so very close. It didn’t feel the same. What my hand could do did nothing compared to the euphoric rush I got just being in her presence. So, I stopped. Stopped everything. I had nothing left. I had given pieces of me away and nothing remained but an empty shell.” 


    “Hiroto…”


    “It’s as if my demons laugh at me. They know I have never stopped loving her. In my dreams… it’s sickening. My past becomes blurred with my present and I can’t distinguish between them. The me that was a lifeless being only living to be used. The me that’s trying so hard to push past that…” He looked up into Satou’s eyes, his own lackluster. 


    “Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt like you’ve been used so many times that you have nothing left? Have you ever felt fear in wondering if you will do the same thing to the one you love?” He gripped his fingers together tightly. 


    “I was scared…scared to truly love her. I was so damaged. What if I unintentionally hurt her? What if I couldn’t control myself? What if I let myself get too carried away? I tried to stop it. But, it was too late. Once I fell, I fell hard. I’ve never recovered from that. I’ve never wanted to. Falling in love with Rae was one of the most beautiful moments I’ve experienced. I tried so hard to be careful. Even now, I’m proud of the fact that I made it… We made it.  But then it breaks my heart. To know I betrayed something so innocent. Her love inspired me, encouraged me and pushed me to be better.” 


 


****** 


    “Rae.” 


    “Yeah babe?” 


    “Come here…” She came over to where he sat. 


    “What’s up?” 


    “I need a moment to rest. I’m so tired.” 


    “Aw. My poor baby.” She sat behind him and he reached up, gently grabbing her thighs. 


    “You’ve been working so hard.” She massaged his scalp. He sighed and turned to press a kiss to her smooth skin. 


    “It’s wearing on me.” 


    “Don’t worry about it. Don’t think about work right now.” 


    “Rae-”


    “Hush. Focus on me.” He took a deep breath and relaxed, leaning back into her. She slid her hands down his chest some and kissed him. 


    “Your daddy’s tryna work you to the bone.” She said with a smile against his lips.     


    “He wants me to be in his business.” 


    “Do you want to?” 


    “It’d secure our future.” 


    “But do you want to?” He whined cutely and poked out his lip. 


    “I don’t know.” She giggled and blew on his lip, making him suck it back in. 


    “Well you gotta make up your mind. We bout to get to graduation time real soon. Surely he gon want him an answer before then.” He sighed again. 


    “He’s groomed me for this my whole life. I should want to right?” She kissed his nose. 


    “Should and want are two different things Roto.” 


    “I know…” 


    “I don’t like seein you struggle like this. It should be a really simple answer. If you want to or not.” He opened his eyes and looked up at her. 


    “Simple is never simple in my family.”  She sucked her teeth. 


    “Well…” He grinned and turned, pressing his face against her ribcage. 


    “I don’t want to think about any of that. I just want to spend time with you before it gets cold.” She pressed a kiss to the top of his head. 


    “It’s kinda nippy out here already. Why you ain’t tell me it was gon be this cold? I’m in shorts…” He smirked. 


    “I like your legs out.”


    “I bet you do.” She chuckled. Sighing, he bit his lips in a smile. 


    “Rae?” 


    “Hm?” 


    “Let’s go visit them.”


    “Them?”


    “My parents.” 


    “Now, you know…” He lifted his head and his eyes smiled at her. 


    “I know what you’re going to say and I don’t care.” She laughed and lightly hit his forehead. 


    “You tryna start somethin ‘tween me and them huh?” 


    “Not at all. If I am going to work there, I want them to see the motivation behind my hard work.” Her cheeks grew red and she looked down. 


    “Hiroto…”


    “Hm?” 


    “Stop…” He lifted up and brushed his lips against her cheek. 


    “Stop what?” She gently slid her fingers around his neck. 


    “Stop making me fall in love with you.” She whispered. He gently caressed her lips with his thumb. 


    “That’s something I’ll never stop.” He pressed his lips against hers and she wrapped her arms around him. 


    “I will work hard to give you the life you want Rae. Whatever you want… just tell me and I’ll make it happen.” 


    “Roto…”


    “If I have to endure my father…then I will.” He pulled back and leaned down to press a kiss to her thigh. 


    “Are you hungry?” She swallowed but nodded. 


    “Takoyaki?” He smiled. 


    “Sure.” 


 


*****


 


    It had been hours since he had left his appointment with Dr. Satou. He laid in a bath, hot water relaxing his muscles. Steam curled around him. He closed his eyes. For the first time in a while, he felt the tiniest bit better. The only person he had really opened up to completely was Rae. Somehow, it had to come out. For all these years, he felt tortured with his shame and guilt. He had abandoned her. Lifting hands out of the water,  he stared at them.


******


    “Hiroto?” Eyes looked up to find beautiful brown eyes looking down at him. 


    “Yes?” 


    “I don’t want to keep this going.”


    “That is?”


    “Bein mad at you…”  He closed his book and smiled. 


    “I’m sorry sweetheart. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”


    “I know. I forgive you.” She leaned down and kissed him, the silence and shock of their peers an afterthought. 


    “I can’t stay mad at you. Lucky you.” He smiled against her lips and quickly pecked her again before clearing his throat. 


    “It seems we have the whole class’ attention once again.” He said, opening back up his book. 


    “When don’t we? They need to get they life.” She snort ahead of him as she picked up her pencil. 


 


******


    He smiled to himself as the memory popped into his mind. Rae had always been so loving. She still loved him as much as he loved her. That itself gave him the strength to do this. If she could have courage, then why couldn’t he? So many years later, she was still teaching him things. All his life he had run away. And while he refused to run away from her, he had to stop running from himself. Once again, he had to face his demons. It was frightening to think about. To be honest, he wasn’t sure he was ready or all that willing. However, he was determined to go back to New York a different man. It was time to strap on his boots and go to work. For her. For them. 

End Notes:

 

A/N: And so Hiroto's recovery begins! It broke my heart writing this because he is SO HARD ON HIMSELF. Like... he literally blames himself for everything. As we can see, life after Rae was not peaches and cream (as Rae would believe). Hiroto really suffered... he really took it hard. I love the bits with Rae to be honest. Her love really kept him together. And no matter how messed up he is... he still finds comfort in the affection she showed him. I'm literally preparing myself for next chapter you guys. Because I know it will be a hard one to read and to write. Y'all I gotta be honest, this spring break I thought my creative spark would just FLY and it really hasn't. It was kinda hard to write this chapter (like literally hard to write). I kinda didn't want to. But, then again, I really did. So, I pray and hope that this chapter does not reflect any of that lol. If so, please let me know and I can reconstruct it ASAP. As always, I want to provide quality so if it is not there, let a sista know! :) I also gotta shout out my baby Tobu in this chapter. lol. LOVE ME SOME HIM. He's so real like... dude. He really down for his brother and keep it 100. I LOVE THAT. *sigh* Confluence is going to be on and poppin when Transcendence is over lol. Oh yeah man. lol. Anywhoo... God bless you guys! I can't wait until Hiroto reaches the point where he truly finds freedom! Take care! See you soon! <3 

D&L <3 

Be set free by the renewing of your mind! 

 

Shine into the sky, bright and yellow! <3 

Many by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

    Early in the morning, he went for a jog. The swirling array of bushes, trees and rock surrounded him and brought peace to him. It felt good to run, his legs pushing harder to keep with his pace. It had felt like forever since he’d last got a good run in. He planned to see Satou again later on in the day and needed to calm his nerves some. Turning a bend, he jogged past giant curved rocks, some sloped as if by a large hand. The sound and smell of the fresh water helped him jog harder. Inhaling the crisp air, he felt the sweat slide down his temple. Almost there. 

 

***** 

    “Hiroto?” He sat inside a room of his grandmother’s house, shoji closed. 

    “Honey I know you’re in there. When are you going to come home? It’s been a week. Don’t you want to graduate?” He buried his head between his knees, the material of his yukata growing moist with tears. 

    “Hiroto… you have to graduate.” 

    “Are you satisfied?” He hadn’t spoken in days. Only tears and cries… cries for her. He couldn’t see her but he could hear his mother through an open window. 

    “What are you talking about sweetie?”

    “Don’t bullshit me. You got what you wanted. What else do you want from me? I’ve given you everything. My life. My body. You sought after my heart too and now it’s yours. I have nothing left for you to take.” She was quiet for a while. 

    “Hiroto I only did what I had to. You don’t understand now but everything I’ve done has been for you and your future.”     

    “Leave me alone. Abandon me here like you did your mother.” The silence this time was longer. 

    “She was corrupting you Hiroto. You don’t see that?” If she could hear the words that came from her mouth, she would understand how crazy she sounded. He didn’t reply. She didn’t deserve one. After a while, she spoke again. 

    “Stay here if you’d like. But it shall only be for another day or so. Your father and I expect you to come home in time for your graduation.” With that, she left him. A couple more days he did stay and when he returned home, he came back empty. Inside his heart, the desire for vengeance burning strong. He had been determined to pay them back even if he spent the rest of his life doing so. 

******

 

    “Hello Mr. Iwase.” He nodded. 

    “Hello Dr. Satou.” 

    “Have you been well?” He licked his lips. 

    “As well as I can be. To be perfectly honest, all of this is scaring the shit out of me.” Time was going slow and fast at the same time. It seemed as if he had just got to Hocking Hills. Already, two weeks had passed. In that time, he had visited Satou, sometimes begrudgingly. Some sessions, he talked. Some, he didn’t. It impressed him how patient Satou was with it all. Not once did he force him to speak or tell him to be quiet. To be honest, he didn’t feel as though he was making any progress. 

    “I can only imagine. You are peeling back layers you have left untouched for years.” He sighed. 

    “Yeah….” 

    “How can I assist you?”

    “Honestly, the best thing you can do is just listen. I'm sure as we proceed with our meetings, advice will come. But right now, I just need to get it out.” Satou nodded. 

    “Understandable. I shall listen. The floor is yours Hiroto-kun.” 

    “I’m sure you’ve heard about me. I know I look perfect. Everything in my life seemingly jewels and gold. As someone once told me, life with a silver spoon. But that spoon if you looked close enough wasn’t silver. Instead it was bronze. I’ve done a lot of things in my life that I’m not proud of.” 

 

    ******* 

 

    “Well, well. Look what we have here. Little rich boy here thinks he wanna be one of us.” He stood against the wall, hands in his pockets. All around, smoke thick like fog drifted around the room. In the room, barely any light could come through. 

    “Did you get lost or somethin kid?” He gripped the inside of his pockets but looked ahead, his gaze strong. 

    “I came here for a reason.” The man who sat in the center of naked and semi-clothed women pulled the cigarette he was smoking out of his mouth. 

    “A pretty faced boy like you came here on purpose? For what I wonder?” 

    “Aren’t you that Iwase kid?” He turned to look at another guy who casually had his arm resting on the back of a low couch. His eyes drifted down. It wasn’t hard to guess what was going on. He stared hard at him, his fingers roughly grabbing the hair of a woman as she bobbed in between his legs. 

    “Well?” His eyes lifted. 

    “Surely this isn’t the first time you’ve heard of me.”  The man smirked. 

    “Oh no. Everyone here has heard about you kiddo. You’re the legendary Iwase Hiroto. Every woman round these parts know about you.” 

    “I’m sure.”

    “So, did you come to get some? We’ve got a nicely stored virgin in the back if you prefer.” 

    “Hey.” The man in the very middle, the lead of the pack, spoke loudly, shoving one of the multiple faces near him away. He stood up and slowly walked over to him. 

    “Did Mommy and Daddy send you here? What kind of parents sends their kid to the underworld I wonder.” He stood still and firm as the man reached up and gently grabbed his hair. 

    “Whatever you want, you’re going to have to show what you got kid. This ain’t no playground.” He sighed, the bravado of the man starting to annoy him. 

    “Look, I don’t have any time for your inflated attitude. Let me do my thing so we can move on with business.” The man smirked and let go of his hair. 

    “Izakawa. Go bring that pretty young thing here wouldja?” Soon, a struggling swinging girl was brought into the room. 

    “Let go! Don’t touch me!” The men cackled. 

    “She’s a fiesty one huh? Always a treat.” 

    “Iwase.” He found the man’s eyes again. 

    “Fuck her.” The girl looked up at him, her face already littered with bruises. 

    “No…don’t…” 

    “If you do it good, we’ll give you what you want.” The man said pulling back. He took his seat and sat back. He clenched his fists and looked down at the girl who curled up on the floor. 

    “Please…” 

    “Must it be in front of you all?” A few men chuckled. 

    “You are our entertainment after all.” 

    “That’s how we like it…” The girl shook her head. 

    “No….no please…I’m…I’m a virgin… please don’t.” His heart twisted and his hands began to tremble. He tightened them to keep them still. 

    “Do it.” The man barked, making several of the girls around him jump. He slowly got on his knees and reached out his hand. The girl looked at it, tears streaming down her face. This time, for the second time in his life…he wouldn’t be harsh. This girl was too much like him. Maybe she too needed tenderness. 

    “I won’t hurt you.” 

    “No… you’re lying…” He grabbed her gently, taking her breath away. Pulling her close to him, he felt her grow still. 

    “I’m sorry…I’m sorry you found yourself here. I know we’ve just met. But, I vow that I won’t hurt you. Take a deep breath.” He whispered quietly into her ear. She reached up to grip his shirt. 

    “I’m scared…” He swallowed thickly. 

    “Me too.” She pressed her face against his neck. 

    “Will they kill me if I refuse?” He nodded. 

    “You’d be dead before morning.” 

    “…..Don’t… don’t hurt me…please…” 

    “What are you doing?” She jumped at the man’s voice and he slowly pulled back to look into her eyes. 

    “Focus on me hm? Don’t look away.” He reached up to wipe tears from her eyes. Slowly, he laid her back against the ground and slowly removed her clothing. He took his time with her, making sure that she felt as relaxed as she could. She squeezed her eyes shut and when his bare skin touched hers, she bit her lip and wrapped her arms around him tightly. 

    “Take a deep breath.” And like that, they were intertwined. 

 

******

    It was quiet. But the tears that fell down his cheeks screamed in pain. 

    “They watched us roll around on the floor like dogs. To them, we were nothing more than a show. To them, she was nothing more than a conquest. Soon, naturally, she found the rhythm and let the pleasure take over. I tried to make her forget them… their eyes.” Satou was silent, listening for his next word. 

    “When it was over, they grabbed her and pulled her away from me. I had blood on me. Precious blood. They laughed and tossed stacks of money at me like I was a cheap whore. My job was done. Another job well done.” 

    “Hiroto-”

    “She was just one of many. So many. Since I was a little child… First her…the woman who took everything from me. Life as I knew it. Love as I tried to understand it. From that woman the cycle started. And it never stopped.” 

 

******

    The stench of body odor and release clogged up the air. He laid on his side, eyes empty and staring. Tears fell down his cheeks but he didn’t feel them. How many was it this time? Four? Five? All in one go. Like a machine, he produced and performed until he ran out of steam. Until his back ached with the multiple lines of scratches, all red, some bloody. The girls giggled as they lay still. Some had hands between their legs, eager for more. 

    “Hiroto…”

    “You did well.”

    “Such promise for such a young boy.” 

    “He makes me crazy. I want more.” He felt hands slide across his hips and grab the most private place on him. His skin crawled. 

    “Don’t touch me.” He reached down to tightly grip the wrist. 

    “Just one more time. Even you want it one more time… look how you rise to attention…” He pushed the hand away from him and slowly stood up. All eyes rested below his waist. 

    “Amazing…”

    “He’s incredible…” 

    “Don’t leave us so soon Hiro-kun…” He pushed past the hands to hastily pull his clothes on. 

    “Thank you parents for us hm? They truly have a great heir.” 

    “Shut up!” He felt anger thread through his veins and slipped out into the cool night, his body aching. 

 

******* 

    “When I met Rae… everything changed. I was scared that what I was taught would get in the way but somehow… she made me think I was worthy… that I wasn’t dirt.” He sighed, the tears still flowing. 

    “I’ve been with a lot of women in my life. More than I can count or remember.” He grew quiet for a while. Satou sat still, his expression one of deep thoughtfulness. 

    “Miyamae Noa was the girl promised to me. Her family sold her to mine and we were just casualities of war.” 

    “That is quite a different name for a Japanese.” 

    “Yes. Very much so. But, unlike Rae, Noa wanted to be like everyone else. She wanted to be accepted and the same as the next girl.” 

    “Are you still with Noa?” 

    “Our relationship was nothing but a false hope from the beginning. I thought that I could finally get back at my parents by taking her hand in marriage. I wanted to make her suffer as well for agreeing to go along with this. But now, I am just a man who wants his hands clean of her. I’ve tried Satou… I’ve tried to give her a chance. I’ve tried to let her discover her own freedom. Time and time again, she does not see it. She is hellbent on staying with me.” 

    “Ah…”

    “If things were different, I would happily call her my little sister. She is three years younger than me. Perhaps I have been trying to fix something that does not want to be fixed. I do not hate her any longer, however, she tip taps on my nerves more times than I’d like.” 

    “In the way younger siblings do I’m sure.” Satou said with a small grin. 

    “Noa is just like the others. My reputation as an Iwase got to her and she couldn’t handle the hunger that rose up within her. My trust shattered when she touched me.” 

    “Touched you?”

    “I had been sleeping. Dreaming of Rae. She had decided to remove her clothing and violate me while I laid there. Ever since then, I haven’t wanted to be in the same room with her for too long.” 

    “I see.” 

    “I must have talked over our time. I apologize for that.” Satou glanced at his watch. 

    “It’s quite alright. I hadn’t noticed.” 

    “Hm.”

    “Today was good. How do you feel?” 

    “I feel much better now that it’s out.”

    “I have something I want you to do until our next meeting Hiroto.” 

    “What is it?”

    “We’re surrounded by beautiful nature yes? On your next outing, I want to you to write letters. For each of the women you were with, whether by force or consent. Write a letter to Rae. Your parents. And to yourself.” He blinked, balled up his lips. 

    “Hm.” 

    “Good. Before we conclude, I want to say this: I am proud of you. I have hope in you. And I believe you will make it.” 

 

*******

 

To whom it may concern, 

    Firstly, you may or may not remember me. But I feel compelled to apologize. I want first and foremost to apologize. I am sorry. I cannot imagine the lives you’ve all lived until now. Back then, it seemed fun. It seemed like a passing moment that would never resurface. But, wounds were inflicted, deep jagged scars that imprinted themselves on our minds. Such young children we were. What did we know of love? Of true intimacy? Of life? Not knowing of the consequences beyond the erect organs and moist flesh, we indulged. 

    I hope it is not entirely too personal what I am about to do. But, I feel for the sake of my healing and for yours that it must be done. While I can’t do this for everyone, I will try for as many as I can. You deserve it. 

    Takawa Rinko: 

    If I am honest, I hated you. The rage I felt has not quite disappeared. For you, a grown woman to partake in something as sick and disgusting as raping a young child is unfathomable. You were the one responsible for the beginning of it all. You thrust me into a world a child has no place. You took from me the most precious thing, something that cannot be replaced. Perhaps you would enjoy knowing what you did to me had such a significant impact. But, I shall let you know that one day very soon, I shall snip the cord of power you have held over me for most of my life. Most of all, I hope you are repaid just what you dealt out. 

 

    Yamada Masaki:

    Hello. Are you well? I remember you. If you remember me is not quite as important. Of the night we shared, I remember most the tenderness you had in your heart. Of all of them, you were one of the only women I actually felt normal with. Aside from the fact that our families agreed to use our young bodies as collateral, I hope you are doing well. You reminded me so much of myself…then. Are you happy? I hope you will live your life to the fullest. I hope that the deep dark despair that gripped your body no longer dwells within. I would like to think that now, you can smile and show your true face. 

    Okada Fumi: 

    Are you well? It’s Hiroto. I know I didn’t treat you well the last time we were together. That time, I remember your tears. I know I hurt you. I was angry. I took it out on you and your body. I’m sorry Fumi-chan. If you find it within yourself, please try to forgive me. You didn’t deserve that. Please take care of yourself ne? 

    Hashimoto Aoi: 

    To think we spent nights doing things we shouldn’t have fills me with regret. I feel as though I destroyed your chances of finding a nice man. You wanted to be with me so much. But I was trying only to escape. I think we both were in our own ways. Be well Aoi-chan.

    Hotane Mizu:

    What you did to Rae that day… I have never forgotten. You pissed me off. You felt entitled didn’t you? Because we had had sex a few times you thought I belonged to you. Even still, in the end what you had planned backfired. Your action didn’t frighten either one of us off from each other. Instead, it drew us closer. 

    Takahata Sakura:

    Though the guilt has never left me, I still feel as though out of every woman who has crossed my path, you deserve the greatest apology. Saku-chan, it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that I was forced to choose between your life or your virginity. How cruel of a fate…I wouldn’t let them kill you. I couldn’t. You were so frightened…I won’t forget how you held on to me, softly crying. I was relieved when you started to feel good… I was glad that at least… for one temporary moment… you could feel happiness. You could forget what was happening and just fly. You don’t know how much it has eaten me up inside… all these years later. I have wondered the most about you. Where you are. What you are doing. How you have been. Do you resent me? Do you feel anger towards me? I understand if you do. I wish I could go back…I wish I could have rescued you…Please…live freely…away from any hurt or harm.

     Hiroto.

 

    Kuribahara Emi: 

    My my, look how the tables have turned. How’s jail? Is it as fun as it looks? I hope you haven’t been getting yourself into too much trouble Emi. You still have quite some years to go don’t you? Tell me, was it worth it? Was going after Rae worth spending your life in jail? I didn’t think so. But, as they say… you live and you learn. The nights spent with you were the most repulsive times of my life. How I hated you. The thought of your name still makes me want to vomit. Ah, be expecting an invitation someday soon. You’ll know exactly what I’ll be talking about when you receive it. Until then, take care hm? 

End Notes:

 

A/N: Woo, kay I'm startin to feel the juices goin lol. Can't believe break is almost over. MAN. I really coulda used this Monday through yesterday (Thurs) lol. Oh well. lol. I LOVE THIS CHAPTER simply for the end lol. The rest was very hard to write. I had a hard time. I had to stop and take breaks...it was just too real y'all. I was like man...I think writing letters is a wonderful way to promote healing. Being that I am a writer, it only made sense to have some element of writing take place for both Rae and Roto haha. ;D I also love the varying degrees to which Hiroto addresses some of the women. You can feel his regret, curiousity, sadness, hope, anger, etc. Love it. Specially that last letter lol. Okay, next to last chapter will be up hopefully soon. :) Hopin this burst of creative lasts through the weekend. Workin on it now :D Can you feel the reunion between Rae and Roto? I know I can. And I'm excited. <3 <3 <3 God bless you all! Take care! Have a wonderful Friday evenin! See you soon! <3 

Shine into the sky, bright and yellow! 

Be set free by the renewing of your mind! 

 

D&L <3

Genesis by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

His phone rang. He turned off the water and jumped out of the shower, quickly grabbing a towel. Running into his bedroom, he pressed the green talk button. 

    “Hello?”

    “Uncle Hiro?” Warmth spread throughout his chest. Hisae. 

    “Ah, you’re speaking English!” She giggled. 

    “Mama is teaching me. Does it sound good?” She had a very strong Japanese accent and he loved it. 

    “Mm. Very good!” She laughed. 

    “Uncle Hiro?” 

    “Yes hime?”

    “Are you taking care of yourself?” Her innocent question made his heart flutter. He smiled softly. 

    “Mm. Uncle Hiro is doing well.”

    “Are you sure?”

    “Mmhm. Is my hime worried?” 

    “I haven’t heard from you in a long time! Mama says you are working very hard in America. But, sometimes I think working can make you miserable.” He chuckled. 

    “Ah, you’re very wise hime.” 

    “I just wanted to let you know that I am praying hard for you Uncle Hiro! I pray that you can make things good with the people in your life and can return to mama and me happy.” He grew still. Make things right with the people in his life? How very uncanny for her to say that…He cleared his throat. 

    “Thank you hime. I will come home soon.” She giggled. 

    “Yay!! I miss you! Can I come to America again?” 

    “Mm. Hana and I will talk about it first okay?” 

    “Okay!” 

    “Speaking of Mom, where is she?” 

    “Ah,  she’s making breakfast.”

    “Ahh. Are you ready for school?”

    “Mm. I have to go actually.”    

    “Okay sweetheart. Go ahead! Study hard and pay attention in class today hm?”

    “I will.”

    “Give the phone to Hana.”

    “Mm.” He put the phone on speaker and quickly dried off. 

    “Hello?” He smiled as he put on some sweatpants. 

    “Well, look at you Hana. Fancy with the English nowadays hm?” She laughed. 

    “Why should you be the only cool one?” He laughed in return. 

    “Hey, what are you doing? Why haven’t you brought Rae back with you?” He sheepishly ruffled his hair. 

    “About that…”

    “Eh?” 

    “Well, I think perhaps I moved a bit too soon in my haste. She wants nothing to do with me right now.” Hana clucked her tongue. 

    “Ah, look at you already messing up. It’s been a year!” 

    “I know. It’s taken longer than I expected but… that’s a good thing.”

    “Eh? Why?” 

    “To be honest, neither Rae or I are ready to jump back into being together. Having been gone ten years, I’m sure you can understand the distance. On top of everything that has happened between us… and everything that happened while we were apart… all of that needs to be sorted through first.” 

    “Ahhh I see. Makes sense. I’m glad you are well. Hisae had a dream last night about you and since she woke up all she’s been talking about is ‘Uncle Hiro, Uncle Hiro’. She really misses you Hiro-kun.” He smiled. 

    “I miss her and you so much. But I’m finally doing what’s best for me.”

    “It’s about time..” 

    “Mm.”

    “You’ve grown so much Hiro-kun. I’m proud of you.”

    “Thank you Hana.” 

    “Well let me get Hisae’s bento packed! Call me next week hm?”

    “I will.”

    “I mean it.” He chuckled. 

    “Okay, I will. Kiss Hisae for me.”

    “Mm.” 

    “See you.”

    “See you later…” They hung up. He sighed and placed the phone down on the bed. He dried his hair and enclosed himself into his comforter, sleep soon finding him.

 

    ******** 

    Dear Hiroto, 

    I’m proud of you. You’ve decided to finally conquer your fears. You’ve been through a lot of hell. You’ve experienced a lot of things. But, I’m proud of the fact that you are not letting it define you any longer. It’s been quite a life hasn’t it? I’m sure not many people can say they’ve lived their lives as difficult as yours. But, tell me something. Aren’t you glad you stayed around? Aren’t you glad you survived those nights of wanting to drink yourself away or pop pills? Yeah, me too. You made it. I remember when you were a kid, in high school… Do you remember? How lifeless you were. You didn’t see any point in living. It grew boring. It wasn’t fun. Your truths caught up with you. But, then all of that changed. You began to see meaning in the blue skies of the morning. The wind began to taste sweet. You pushed through. And you can do it again. Look how far you have come. You have lived another year. You lost your voice once. But now, you have let it out again. You’ve let it free. Don’t let anyone take it away from you again. Even if it hurts… always keep it. Your voice will set you free. It will keep you sane. It will make you strong. 

    Remember that dreams you used to have? Those dreams of yesteryear? Remember the invaluable memories you shared with those the most precious to you? Old hands as they held yours. Carefully molding wet clay. A strong but loving voice. “Careful. Don’t let it get out of shape. This will be yours.” Do you remember? Going out right before the snow fell to the ground and spending hours in the late autumn sun? Sweating. Body tired. Your hand steady and strong as you chopped wood? Preparing for the winter on the horizon. 

    I remember the nights you would lay your head on your grandmother’s lap while she sang old traditional songs and sewed. Do you? If you ever wonder what your purpose is or what your legacy will be Hiroto, remember these things. Despite the horrible fate you suffered… you received something that no one can take away. You knew true love. That love I believe has kept you and saved you time and time again. 

    When times get dark and you start to regret…when you start to think perhaps you aren’t worthy… remember those who have come to love you. Remember your family. Hana. Hisae. Tobu. Remember the nice people you’ve met in this past year. They too are cheering for you. It’s time. I think it’s time to finally let that little boy go. Let him die. The one who carried all the bruises of yesterday. What do you think? I think you can do it. If you truly try, you can. Keep living. Keep smiling. Keep loving. You’re a survivor. A warrior. Never forget that. 

    Signed, The One Who Overcame 

 

******* 

    “Is this really our last session?” He smiled as he sighed. 

    “Mm. Time flew didn’t it?” Dr. Satou smiled in return. 

    “I am proud of you Hiroto. You’ve come so far in just two months.” He felt his cheeks grow warm. 

    “There is one more thing I want to talk about today. I haven’t shared anything about my parents.” 

    “Ah, yes. I wondered when we would converse about them. Surely, the mystery of your life will come full circle now.”

    “I believe in this way… finally I am coming to be the freest I’ve ever been…” 

****** 

    “You said you’d never hurt me.” The heartbroken voice of a young child sobbed in the dark silence. He hugged himself tightly and rocked, the tears falling down his cheeks icy. 

    “You said you loved me.” But was the love he was promised shown in the dirt, sweat and strong smell of sex that clogged up his nostrils? Was it in the hands that touched him in places he didn’t want to be touched? Or were the various objects used to torture him kissed by love? Love…a word he truly knew nothing of. A word he had always equated to pain, suffering, bloody nail scratches in his back. Still, the wounds of his past, the lashes inflicted by he that he called father, the prying fingers of many female strangers…. all of it still open and growing rotten in the sun, left out far too long….

******

    “Hiroto! Your father would like to see you.” Yet again, another moment of pain. The ripple of it spreading through his flesh as the rod struck his back. 

    “You carry the blood of samurai in your veins. Do you think they were as weak as you are now?” The familiar scent of tears down small cheeks. 

    “No…No Father.”

    “Assume the correct stance. Hold your bokken correctly.” He felt flashes of wetness and knew he bled. Lifting shaky arms, he spread his feet apart and crouched. Under the intent gaze of his father, he began to strike the wooden pole. 

    “Good. Again.” 

*******

    He grimaced in pain as he sat in between his grandmother’s legs. She gently pressed a clean white cloth soaked in herbal water against his back. She tsked. 

    “Why does Shou have to be so hard on you I wonder…you are just a boy.” He tightened his fists. 

    “I am his only heir Grandmother. There is a lot that falls on me.” She pressed a bit more firmly, making him bite his lip. 

    “Hush. You are but a boy. What do you know?”  He remained quiet. Soon, the cloth was removed and a cool thick herbal paste was applied, soothing the painful burning. 

    “It is a miracle you don’t have scars…” Indeed. 

    “Mm.”

    “Hiroto?” 

    “Yes Grandmother?”

    “Would you like to come to Nara?” He blinked as she softly worked the paste into his wounds. 

    “Nara?”

    “Where I live.”

    “But Grandmother…I thought you would stay here with us…like you always have.” She was quiet for a while until, 

    “I had to go. This is not my style. I am more old fashioned you see.” 

    “Ah…” 

    “Well…come visit me.” He thought about it for only a second. 

    “Okay. I shall visit you Grandmother.” 

 

*******

 

    He smiled as tears slowly welled up in his eyes. 

    “I loved her so much…” He bit his lip and hung his head as he began to cry. Gripping his pants, he let the cries in his chest come forth. Still, so many years later… he still grieved. 

    “She was the best thing that ever happened to me. She raised me with all of her strength and might. It wasn’t right… she should not have died the way she did…” 

    “How…how did she pass?” Satou asked softly. 

    “She died alone. Old and weak. Without anyone to help her…I wish I could have been there… if I had gotten there a little earlier maybe I could have saved her…” He felt years of pain rush forth from his chest and cried from the depths of his soul. Deep anguished agony. Satou just gently pat his back. 

    “You can’t blame yourself Hiroto…”

    “When I got there… the door to the house was open. Unusual for her. Everything smelt wrong. It didn’t smell warm. I couldn’t place my finger on it but it was thick and heavy…sour. I called out to her. Nothing. There was food that was in the process of being canned and fruit to be made into preserves on the counter. But, flies had started to invest the room, and all around you heard the buzzing. Now, it began to become clear. Was this the smell of death itself? I followed it until I stood outside of her room. Sliding the shoji back…I…I found her…” He squeezed his eyes shut as the memory rushed forth with vivid clarity. 

 

    ******** 

    There she laid, crumpled on the floor. Her white rice powder container on the floor beside her, the contents having spilt on the tatami. Her eyes were open, a lifeless glassy stare. 

    “Grandmother…” The smell made him want to vomit. But still… he stepped inside. His backpack fell out of his hands and he felt his eyes start to water. 

    “G-Grandmother?” Her bedsheets were roused as if she had just slept. Her window open, letting in air. Her outer shoji opened to let in the scenes of nature from her garden. Turning back, he laid eyes on her. Her face was stiff. Cold. But calm. Almost peaceful. There was no trace of pain or suffering. He reached for her hand and upon touching hard cold flesh he recoiled back. 

    “No….NO……No…….Don’t do this…. don’t…” But his stomach had enough and he began to vomit, tears flowing from his eyes. 

    ****** 

    He stared at a leaf outside, a small red ladybug crawling nearby. 

    “I took it upon myself…My parents abandoned her. They wanted nothing to do with her. They let that woman die. Perhaps they knew she was ill. But to let her die in such an inhumane way…that is inexcusable.” He swallowed and sniffed, looking down at his hands. 

    “As far as I’m concerned… it was them that murdered her.” He took a heavy faltering breath.

    “If you peel back the layers some more, you’ll see just what kind of people my mother and father were.” 

******

    “No… I don’t want to do this.” He sat in the back of a dark car, his father and mother seated across from him. 

    “You have to.” 

    “No… I don’t want to do it. You told me it would not hurt. That lady hurt me. I don’t want to.” His mother reached across and slapped him, making him silent. 

    “You will do what we say. It is something you must do.” He felt tears prickle the corners of his eyes. 

    “You are my son. You are Iwase Hiroto. We’ve gone over this. Centuries of warriors runs through your blood. Superiority in every way. Precision. Skill. We must be perfect. To uphold the family bloodline. Only the strong survive. The weak die.” His father spoke up with a stern voice, his face neutral. 

    “But Father…”

    “We must make sure that you can provide for your future spouse. We have to train you.” His mother spoke up, calmly clutching her hands. 

    “You must be able to cater to her every need. Be they material or sexual. This is why we are doing this. You must gain experience Hiroto. The female body is like art. You must become a master painter.” He bit his bottom lip and kept silent. His body tightened up at the thought of another encounter. He had taken so long to heal…physically. And now he felt as if he didn’t own his body… like it was for hire. At such a young age, already he felt like this. 

    “I-If I do this… will you be pleased? If…If I do it again…will you bring Grandmother back?” His mother was silent for a while until, 

    “We will let her come back. If you be a good boy and listen to us. You can see her again.” The warmth in his chest, he closed his eyes. 

    “Please don’t let it be that lady again…” His parents sat back. 

    “We’ll make sure it won’t be. We’ll make an arrangement you can be comfortable with.”

 

    ***** 

    “They used me as monetary collateral. Their own son. I was given to the highest bidder. Sold for sex. To countless number of women…to promote and encourage growth in my father’s business exchanges globally. China…Korea…United States….as if we were representatives in the affairs of the night. Who was the best? Who would win?” Sighing deeply, he closed his eyes and sat back in his chair. 

    “Now you see who my parents were…who they remain to be.” Satou swallowed and tightened his jaw. 

    “I cannot comprehend the things you have experienced…and at the hands of the people who were put in place to love and guide you properly. Because of this, I now have understanding of where your deep rooted issues stem from. Poor child…to have to suffer so much trauma and for seemingly no other reason than for greed.”

    “Precisely. My parents’ selfishness and greed for power and control turned me into a monster…a monster I’m still trying to destroy.” 

 

********

    “Hiroto…”

    “Do you enjoy this? You’re sick. You might as well be doing this yourself…” 

    “We’re doing this for you! Why do you not understand that?”

    “You’ve made me into a whore!”

    “Don’t raise your voice to your mother Hiroto.” He turned angry eyes on his father. 

    “Will you try to beat me with the rod again? Perhaps this time you might even get a little blood.” 

    “You’ve lost your mind! Can you not see what that woman did to you? You were our precious little boy and now you’ve grown rebellious and disobedient! This is why she was no good for you!” 

    “That woman was your mother! She gave birth to you and raised you. Look how you have disgraced her…pitiful.” He inhaled sharply and spit near her foot. 

    “Surely her spirit weeps.” He got up and slid on his shoes. 

    “Hiroto where are you going-” He slammed the door before either one of them could utter anything else. 

    ******* 

    He lifted the cigarette to his lips and slowly inhaled the nicotine.  He leaned his head back against the cold concrete. He closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose. All of it was bullshit. All of it… He wished he could just dive into the abyss and never resurface. He lifted shaky fingers to press the cigarette to his lips. He knew what was coming next. Licking his dry lips, he dropped the cigarette to the ground and snuffed it with his shoe. 

    Putting hands in his pockets, he walked alone in the dark until he came to a small door aside a building in an alleyway. If they wanted him to be a machine… the best there was… he could do that. Inhaling sharply, he felt the anger flow through him. He’d try to fuck as many as he could tonight. If they wanted Iwase to be permanently tattooed on their tongue, he’d make sure it was put in just the right place. He’d make them swallow it until it reached their gut. Until it became a part of them. 

    “Welcome back kiddo.” He turned to find a patron outside, a grin on her face. 

    “Shall we go in?” He asked, his voice low. 

    “After you. Afterall, you’re the star of the show here.” She grinned. They slowly began to enter the building and the door behind him shut, leaving a bright red light blazing in its wake. 

 

    *********

    “I have one question for you Hiroto.” He looked into Satou’s eyes, his own shiny with tears. 

    “You’ve come to a crossroads. You’ve achieved so much. What will your future be?” He licked his lips. 

    “My future…” Satou gently nodded. 

    “You should keep going forward… don’t let who you once were suffocate you. I imagine you want a life with Rae.” He felt his cheeks grow warm and smiled softly. 

    “That’s the plan.” Satou laughed. 

    “In all you do Hiroto…Remember your grandmother…do things that would make her proud.” He nodded and lifted a hand to press against the tears on his cheek.

    “It has been an honor to get to know you Hiroto. The vulnerability you’ve shown is so very hard for a lot of people to grasp.” 

    “Thank you for being such a patient listener Dr. Satou.” 

    “I hope that in the two months you have felt freedom. You deserve more than I can say without being entirely too personal. I wish you the utmost best in your life.” 

    “Thank you.” 

    “Mm.”

    “Before we conclude… I’d like to share one more memory.” 

    “Please.” 

*******  

    “Hiroto… come here.” Sighing, he smiled as he slowly came into the living room. There sat his grandmother at a pottery spool. 

    “Yes Grandmother?” She smiled at him and beckoned him with her hand, covered in clay. 

    “Come. Make something with me.” He scrunched up his nose. 

    “It looks like dirt.” He said with a small pout. His grandmother laughed. 

    “It is! Come, come!” He huffed out air and slowly sat down and propped his elbows on his grandmother’s knees. 

    “What are we making?” 

    “Cups. One for you. One for me. One for your future wife.”  He blushed. 

    “What?”

    “Hush. It isn’t proper to not give your bride something.” He scrunched up his nose again. 

    “But a cup? Why a cup of all things?”

    “It will be a practical gift that will show her your handmanship.” 

    “Eh?”

    “You want to show her that you are good with your hands. Think, one day these hands will build, protect and guide.” He smiled at the thought. 

    “Ah, I see. Well, I must do my best then.” They began to mold the clay and soon, three cups were made. 

******* 

 

    “Do you still have it?” He bit his lip and smiled. 

    “Yes. It’s always been with me.” 

    “Waiting for the right one hm?” His smile grew deeper. 

    “Indeed.” 

    “I think that it will be a wonderful gift for her…” 

    “I think so too.” 

 

********

    Iwase Eri: 

    For the longest time, I tried to make you happy. For the longest time, I would have sold my soul to ensure that you out of everyone was pleased. You did nothing but lie, manipulate and abuse me. How someone can birth another and seek to destroy them is outside of my grasp. You of all people… you didn’t have to do this to me. Your choices now have been cemented in stone and they are unchangeable. I wished you would die. I wished I could have strangled the very life from you. I wanted to do all I could to hurt you. And now, though I still feel overwhelming anger…I am tired. I have grown tired of revenge. It has served me no purpose. It has been the cause of a decision that enabled me to hurt the woman I love. 

    You have talked to me all my life about the strength of Iwase. But, you, mother were the weakest of them all. Not truly an Iwase but a peasant who lucked out in marriage to my father. What entitlement did you feel you had to disrupt centuries of my family’s legacy? Sure, you can say that I have followed in my father’s footsteps in mate selection. Sure, you can say that I am doing the exact same thing. I however beg to differ. The woman I have chosen is nothing and never will be anything like you. She is worthy to carry the name Iwase behind her. She is worthy of my family and the many women who came before her. You are a fraud. 

    Now, it is time to be brought down to your true level. Continue to get well. You have a wedding to attend and grandchildren to see. I must admit, it will be justifying to see the woman you hated so much take your place. She shall rise into the royalty that awaits her. And you, you shall be where you belong. That will be the best revenge due to you. Until we meet again, 

Your son, 

Iwase Hiroto

 

Iwase Shou: 

    Though, it will take me time to forgive you… I must ask: Are you well? Are you taking care of yourself..Father? I am sure you can understand that the years of memories I have of you are ones of destruction, greed, and perversion. In the depths of my heart…I wanted to continue to hate you. But somehow…I cannot. The moment we shared last… it did something to me. I believe you realized that in your old age, the possibility of never having a relationship with your only son was more of a reality than you’d like to admit. 

    Was it truly guilt? Or was it simply nature? This I have asked myself plenty of times since I’ve left Japan. In some ways, I still find you disappointing. You allowed your wife authority over you and your family. Authority that should only be for the Head. You grew comfortable in your leisure, letting your wife speak for you while you worked behind the scenes; while you did what you wanted in secrecy. 

    How sad and despicable I thought. But then, I wondered: were you a victim of the system as I was? Surely, your father used the rod against you too. Surely, you too had to endure many sleepless nights, dwelling on your many painful encounters with the opposite sex as well. Having this understanding has made me more receptive I think in forgiveness. You a victim. Acting in that victim mentality, you pass it on to your son. Father, I say that it shall not continue. No more of our sons will endure what we and our ancestors have. It shall die with me. It shall die with you. 

    I wonder… as I am now…are you finally happy? Are you finally proud to call me your son? Father, perhaps my heart is too big…but…is it inconceivable to want to try to set you free too? The woman you condemned and damned to die saw it within me. She saw it, loved it, embraced and encouraged it. I know that you have your own demons that you are still fighting. As am I. But, if I can have courage to stand up to them, in true Iwase fashion… then so can you. In your quest for freedom, I hope that you will learn to forgive yourself as I am learning to forgive myself. In your search of meaning and life, I hope that you will be here to witness it being brought into the world. 

    Of the two, you have been the only one who has been fond of Rae. May I ask why? Is it because she reminds you of Mother? Are they comparable in any way other than their status? When I return to Japan, I would like to sit down and talk to you more about this. You once said that she was worthy of the name Iwase, that she was more than able to be by my side. Truly, this brings me joy. For I too think so. I hope that our children will bring you joy in your last days. However you choose to seek atonement, I will stand by you. Give me a little while yet. I am not completely there… but…I send well wishes and many blessings to you. Take care of yourself Father. 

Hiroto 

 

 

********

 

    Having drafted his letters, he fell asleep, tears streaming down his cheeks, a small soft smile on his lips. His heart felt full and he for the first time since being a small child felt light as air and as free as the birds that flew in the sky. It was time for a new genesis, a new beginning.

End Notes:

 


A/N: Man. This chapter was so emotional for me. Like I literally almost cried lol. Hiroto's journey has been so hard and cruel. I can't even imagine... and he has finally after ten years come to a place where he not only is considering/open to forgiving his father but for stepping in his rightful path. My precious Hiroto. *sheds tear* wow. I think next chapter will really be the tear jerker lol. It won't be bad I promise. <3 But for real. I might cry lol. He's so precious man. lol. This whole entire process has been. It truly has been a blessing to write this vision that I had given to me in a dream. I have been blessed by it as well. I cannot express thanks enough y'all! <3 For showin love, reviewing and sharing your thoughts! :D They crack me up, give me things to think about, make me smile and inspire me to keep going! <3 <3 Can you believe that soon he will be together again with Rae? I cannot wait for that chapter! I think we are all ready for them to get back together and start to live happily. <3 Till next time, God bless! Love you all! May God grant you peace, favor and wisdom in this upcoming week!


Be set free by the renewing of your mind!


Shine into the sky, bright and yellow!


Sunhalo17 <3 

New by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

“Hiroto.” All around him was white matter and in the midst of this, he felt as if he were floating in a warm safe cocoon. He curled up into the bright golden light with a serene smile on his face. 

    “Hiroto.” He stirred and slowly opened his eyes. A soft voice called out to him. 

    “It is time.” Time for what? 

    “Time?” He asked, his voice muffled. 

    “Yes. It is time for you to come home. Come to the well. The water there shall give you everlasting life.” Well? Everlasting life? 

    “For the son who hath no Father, the Father say come. He awaits you precious Son.” As he tried to see where the voice was coming from, he was met with blinding white light. 

    “Do not fear Hiroto. Have no fear. For you shall enter into a covenant with the Heavenly Father…drink from the well and have life. Eat from the roof of the tree and have food. Let the lamppost guide your way. For you are coming out from your darkness. Step now into the Light.” He felt an overwhelming love and began to shed tears… so overflowing. So pure and generous. This… this was love? He folded himself into the feeling and felt himself take flight into the golden warmth. 

***** 


    Bare feet touched the sand and he slowly encroached upon the mass of sand and small pebbles. Wind blew around him, almost through him. He smiled, the sun bright on his face. White flew behind him and he sighed once his feet met the cool water. Peace. He felt peace with himself and was ready to take that step…into the deep. Growing further into the water, he stopped once it reached hip length. He took a deep breath and fell forward, the water surrounding him completely. He closed his eyes and let the current take him on a ride. All of it… everything in his past… he felt it be lifted. Miraculously, he felt it all subside until he felt… new. A new creature. He came up for air and gasped for breath, the warmth in his heart spreading to his entire body. I am new. I am a new being.  Lifting his eyes to the sky, there in the clouds flew a tiny white dove. Oh, how the wings pure and white as snow fluttered delicately. There under its watchful tender gaze tears began to fall from his eyes and he wept, joy in his heart. 


******* 

    To the love of my life, Ebere Marshall:

    There is so much I can say about you… We’ve been through quite a lot haven’t we? But through it all, we were able to meet. Through it all, I was able to fall in love with you. You gave me a glimpse of who you saw me to be… underneath all of the ugly scarring. For that, I can’t thank you enough.

    I am deeply sorry that I hurt you Rae. I wasn’t ready to fully love you like you deserve. We’ve both made many mistakes throughout our knowing each other. A lot of those mistakes were made out of pain. I was hurting. You were hurting. We needed to be apart. But now, I think that it’s time that the love between us heals us both completely. 

    I know somewhere in the back of your mind you wonder…will I hurt you again? While I can’t promise that we won’t fight or disagree about things, I can give you my word that I will shall never hurt you again to the degree I did before. I’ve learned my lesson and I’m not willing to make another mistake as grave as that one. Give me a chance to make things right. Let’s work through it together. Let’s build something new.

    I don’t think I will fully be able to express just what you mean to me. Words and I are still getting used to one another. I don’t know how you feel… about this. About us. But I believe in you Rae. I believe in us. With that belief, when I return to New York…I will pursue you full-heartedly. I am not sure how long you need until you are ready to let me back into your heart. But, you are the only woman I want. So, if need be… I will wait. If I have you then I have everything. For now, this letter shall be my affirmation. Let’s put all of our fears, worries and hurts behind us. I’m ready when you are. 

    P.S: 

    Don’t feel as though you have to carry the world on your shoulders…You’re not alone anymore. When you get tired, I’ll carry you. When you get frustrated, I’ll listen. When you need someone to comfort you, I’ll wrap my arms around you. I’ll defend and protect you. I’ll cherish you all the days of my life and provide the best way I can. If you’ll let me. I love you.

    Roto

End Notes:

 

A/N: WOOOOOO. Y'all... I knew I was gon cry annd I teared up. <3 This chapter was so beautiful I think. I literally almost burst out crying. The scene where he surrenders...like...this was a pivotal moment in Hiroto's development!!! Wow man. Just wow. Wonder if y'all catch it! I love his letter to his beloved. <3 <3 <3 Y'all.. this is it like... they bout to meet again next CHAPTER. *screams* :D Wow. I am excited! Can't wait! Spring break ended last night and it is now another school week! Happy Monday to you all! <3 I am going to continue to be writing (because I feel the creative spark still burnin lol) so hopefully I can cover some more ground :DD I love you all! Take care and God bless! IT'S... ABOUT...TO GO...DOWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NEXT CHAPTER Y'ALLLLL. lol. 

Shine bright into the sky, bright and yellow! 

 

Be set free by the renewing of your mind!

D&L <3

Reunited by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

 

 

 

    It had been a week since she had been back at work and she had quickly gotten back in the flow of things. She had been so excited to return. She had expected to jump right back into the meetings with Rossi but for the first couple of days, she had been assigned to desk work. It was understandable being that a whole other person had been taking charge for two months. Later that week, she found herself alternating between meeting and desk with Shelley. She was glad that he was giving Shelley the opportunity to soar. Smiling, she glanced at her pictures that sat on her desk before getting back to the task at hand. 

 

    ******* 

A week ago…

    She stepped into her workplace. Holding her clutch she pressed the button for the elevator. Smoothing down her skirt, she took a breath and got in. She felt excitement course through her as the elevator stopped and opened its doors. She soon stood outside of the beehive. Here we go. She pushed through the frosted glass doors. As she began to walk in, mouths dropped and eyes followed her as she made her way to her cubicle. 

    “Marshall?” The office sleeze Peterson slurred, eying her up like a piece of meat. 

    “Peterson?” His gaze slid down her like a slinky. 

    “What is it you eatin cause damn baby girl you left and came back thick.”

    “You might wanna focus on what you doin fore you cut yourself there Peterson.” He glanced down at the paper cutter he was using and sighed, relieved that he hadn’t cut anything other than paper. She kept walking until she placed her clutch down on her desk. Leave it to him to be her welcoming committee. Pursing her lips, she glossed her fingertips across the surface of the desk. She found it surprisingly clean. A smile came to her face at all the sticky notes that had been placed in one little collective corner. Shelley. She had even been kind enough to keep her small pictures of her sister and Tre clean too. Smiling deeper, she sighed and sat down. After a while she heard,

    “Rae’s here? Where?” She peeked up at the voice. Shelley stood in the aisle, many stacks of papers in her hand. Peterson pointed in her direction and at meeting her eyes, they grinned at each other. 

    “RAE!” 

    “Shells!” She got up and went to grab some of the papers, meeting her half way. 

    “Oh my God thank you. This was killing me.” Shelley exclaimed with a huff. They sat her papers down. 

    “Girl look at you. You went away and came back shining like a diamond.” She felt her cheeks grow hot. 

    “Thanks Shells.”

    “You look different. Everything about you is different somehow.” Shelley said with a grin. 

    “Specially those shoes.” She laughed and hugged her.

    “It’s so good to have you back partner.” 

    “It’s good to be back.” She pulled back and took her in. 

    “You look good Shells. Rossi been all right?” She smiled.     

    “Yeah! He’s been great! I’ve learned so much by being in those meetings. It’s good to finally feel as if I’m moving forward!” 

    “That’s great! You deserved it the most out of all of us.” Shelley blushed. 

    “Aw. Thanks Rae.” She let go of her as she began to sort through the papers. 

    “Shells?” 

    “Yeah?”    

    “I want to say sorry.” She paused and looked at her. 

    “For what?” She licked her lips. 

    “Last time we were together I snapped at you when you asked about Mr. Iwase. I was really rude and hurtful. I apologize if I hurt your feelings.” Shelley smiled and hugged her again. 

    “Girl, it’s over with and done! I forgive you!” She felt relieved. 

    “You’re the one who kept my spot clean aren’t you?” She blushed and giggled.  

    “Yeah…I missed you so much. Besides, cubby mates have to take care of each other right?”

    “Aw. Yes we do! But uh…what’s them sticky notes though?” Shelley grinned. 

    “You’ll see when you read them.”  Hm. She was up to somethin. 

    “Mm. Okay.”  Shelley snickered and grabbed some papers. 

    “About that time with Iwase…your attitude said everything I needed to know.” She blinked, her cheeks growing warm. 

    “What?”

    “Could you please give these to Rossi? My hands are cramping and I need a break.” Shelley pressed the papers into her hands with a grin, ignoring her question. 

    “S-sure…” Shelley looked brighter and happier than the last time she had seen her. It was amazing to see just how much she had started to come out of her cocoon. She was so here for it. Clearing her throat, she went down the corridors and stood outside of his office. It had been so long since she had last been here. 

    “Can I help you…Rae?” She turned to see his secretary standing up, her expression full of shock. 

    “Hi!”

    “W-When did you get back…you look great…wow..” She smiled. 

    “I got back last night. Couldn’t be late for work could I?” 

    “You look amazing! Um let me get Rossi on the phone for you. Delivery?”

    “Yes ma’am.” 

    “One moment.” She dialed his extension. 

    “Yes?”

    “Sir, you have a delivery.”

    “Have Shelley bring it.”

    “Shelley is occupied at the moment sir. There is someone else here to deliver.”

     “Send them in.” She took a deep breath and once the door opened, he grew still. 

    “R-Rae?” She bit her lip to keep the laughter from spilling forth. 

    “Surprised?” He looked at her from head to toe, his mouth slightly ajar. 

    “Wow.” She cleared her throat. 

    “Face is up here.” His cheeks grew red and he cleared his throat. 

    “Come in.” She came in and quietly closed the door. Sitting down in one of his chairs, she smiled. He was looking at her like she wasn’t real. 

    “I’m glad you’re back Rae. It’s good to see you again.” 

    “Yeah it’s good to be back.”

    “When’d you touch down in NY?”

    “Last night.”

    “I didn’t know you were even coming…”

    “That was the point. I wanted to surprise a friend.” He blushed. 

    “Well I am delighted. How was your trip?”

    “It was absolutely amazing. There was a lot that I needed to get off of my chest and I’m glad that you permit me to do so.” He smiled. 

    “That’s great.” She sat in one of his chairs and crossed her legs at the ankle. 

     “I know many employees that go a break in the middle of peak season don’t come back so I sincerely thank you.” He sat back in his chair. 

    “There are plenty of people I could get rid of. But you aren’t one of them.” She let the sudden flirtatious tone of his voice pass by her. 

    “I am glad you were able to let Shelley fill in while I was away. If you don’t mind me asking, how was she?”

    “Ms. Johnson was superb. She kept everything together.”

    “And here you were tryin not to give her a promotion…” He chuckled.

    “I’m glad you convinced me.” Grinning she sighed. 

    “So Mr. Rossi, what is it we will do today?” He looked down at the watch on his wrist. 

    “I have a meeting in ten minutes. Are you feeling up to it to attend?”

    “I’m down.”

    “All right. Let’s get ready for that.”

    “Sure.” He got up and slid his fingers through his hair, pulling it back. 

    “Rae…” She looked up at him. He fastened his hair with a elastic band while he looked at her. 

    “I’ve really missed you.” She gave a friendly smile but knew something deeper lied underneath his statement. 

    “I’m sure you have.” 

    “It’s been really lonely here without you. Johnson has been a great help. But now that you’re back-”

    “Hold your horses. You sound like you gettin ready to demote her.” He sharply inhaled. 

    “Your decision to promote her was last minute to you. To her, it was life changing. She’s waited so long to receive something other than desk work from you. This once, let her enjoy it. Please.” He was quiet for a while until, 

    “All right. Fine.”

    “I suppose we should go huh?” He gave a stern nod, business face on. 

    “After you Ms. Marshall.” 

 

******* 

    She hadn’t realized that in her remembrance she hadn’t completed her assignment. Clearing her throat, she finished up with the papers and scooted back to head to Rossi’s office.     

    “Mr. Rossi. It’s Rae.” 

    “Come in.” She came in with the stack of papers.     

    “I’ve read through them as asked. They look and sound great. It’s ready to be sent.” He didn’t look at her and the sound of his fingers clicked against the keys of his computer. 

    “Thanks. I’ll forward them.” 

    “All right.”  She turned to leave. 

    “Wait a moment.” She glanced back at him. He sighed and removed his glasses. 

    “Could you go grab some lunch for me?”

    “Sure. No problem.”

    “I’m starving. Haven’t had anything since morning.”

    “What would you like?”

    “Mm….I’m in the mood for a Philly.”

    “Sure that won’t be too heavy?”

    “I’m sure.”

    “Okay then. Philly it is.”

    “Oh! Could you swing by Starbucks as well?” 

    “You real hungry today.” He grinned and slid his glasses back on. 

    “A busy man never rests.” She sucked her teeth. 

    “Let me guess. You want a black coffee with no sugar and a dash of cream from Starbucks right?” 

    “Don’t you know me well.” His grin deepened and she pursed her lips. 

    “Yeah yeah. Anything else?”

    “That’s all for now. Thanks.”

    “Mmhm.” 

     “Do get something for yourself okay? I’ll treat you for lunch.” She blinked. 

    “You don’t have to…” 

    “I want to.” He reached into his pocket and gave her some money. 

    “O-okay… ‘preciate it.” She made her way out, placing the money in her purse. He certainly hadn’t lost any of his persuasive ways. 

******* 

    “You’re on in five minutes Mr. Iwase. Would you like some more face powder?”  He pressed the black lapels to his jacket down.

    “No. I’m fine. Thank you.” He looked into the mirror with a soft smile.

    After his return, he had immediately taken up his position again. He had begun to plan meetings with companies both within the United States and abroad, in order to assess the status of their relationship, stocks, and other vital information. Today was his first meeting. He was meeting with a company called Elyon located in California. They flew in last night and after his interview with this local television station, he was going straight there. His moment of rest was much needed and every day he felt newer than the last. He found himself here at this point, about to strike back into the swing of things and though he dreaded interviews like this… he was excited. 

    “Mr. Iwase?” He turned to face the young woman who would host the show. 

    “Are you ready?” He nodded. 

    “Let’s begin.” Sometimes you have to do what you don’t want to do.

    ***** 

    The clock stroked 1 pm.  She huffed as she came out of Starbucks. Holding his cup of joe and food in one, she held what she got for herself in another. A burst of fresh wind rushed by her and she inhaled it slowly. What a beautiful spring day. The clouds were white and the sky blue. The sun was shining and provided the right amount of heat without it being overbearing. Everywhere there was green and florals. Ah… She smiled to herself and started to walk again. Thankfully, the office wasn’t too far. 

    “….You’ve probably seen him in magazines and in other interviews here in the United States…..by the name of Hiroto Iwase…” She paused suddenly. Hiroto Iwase? Turning, her eyes fell on a nearby television. She watched as he came onto the stage and purse his lips at the almost deafening screams of the ladies in the studio. Her heart skipped a beat. 

    “Hello!”

    “Hello. Thank you for having me. I’m quite honored.”  

    “By all means, you are quite an amazing guy Mr. Iwase!” He gave a small smile. 

    “I appreciate it very much.”

    “What have you been up to? We’ve missed seeing you.” She couldn’t move, the breath coming from her shallow. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him. 

    “I have recently returned from a short hiatus.” Hiatus? He had been gone? 

    “Ah, where and why?” He balled his lips, making his dimples deepen. 

    “I went to this little hiking town called Hocking Hills. It’s in the state of Ohio. It’s so beautiful.” The woman nodded, she too intent for his next word. 

    “I went because I honestly needed a break. Being CEO of a business is by no means a walk in the park…nor is it lax. I am glad I took some time out for myself.” The host nodded and smiled as he looked at her. 

    “That’s great! Sounds amazing!” He smiled and the small flash of teeth made her knees grow weak.

    “It was.” Even the host appeared a bit flushed. All from a simple half smile. Only an effect he could have.

    “So what is it you’re doing now that you’re back in New York? If I’m not mistaken isn’t your business originally located in Japan?” 

    “My, you’re well versed on me.” The host grew even more flustered and some members of the audience chuckled. 

    “I-It is my job…”

    “I’m only teasing you my dear.” He said, his tone joking. Poor dear. The girl didn’t know what to do. He cleared his throat. 

    “To answer your question, yes. It is located in Japan. My intentions are to go back to my country and work from the main base there. However, with America being my priority as of now, I am pleased to see that all has gone well.”

    “I see! Well, many best wishes to you Mr. Iwase! Before we head to break, I want to thank you again for talking with me!” He nodded. 

    “Thank you.” The show cut to commercial. She felt her heart beat faster. She didn’t know he had gone on a break. He certainly looked refreshed. She felt her hand grow tired, reminding her that she had coffee. She tightened her grip on everything and made her way back before Rossi’s coffee grew cold. 

 

******** 

    A few days later, on a Saturday, she had decided to go workout. She put her hair up into a puff and swept back any baby hairs away from her face. She leaned down to tie her shoes and grabbed her car keys. 

    After a few hours, she felt good and sore and ready to go home. Going to the water fountain, she lifted her bottle to fill it up and exhaled loudly. She couldn’t help but wonder… what was Hiroto doing right now? She bit her lip. Even though she had his number, she was being a punk. Since finding out that he had gotten back in New York…and seeing him on the tv, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. It was starting to get on her nerves. But you’re going to give him a chance… you decided on that. 

    Right. She did. She couldn’t sike herself out. Maybe before she was happy doing that but now she just wanted to continue to be real and honest with herself. When she had let everything go in that water, she had also started to let the strife between them go too. She wanted to just be friends again… friends she think she could do. But at the moment, she was being too much of a wimp to initiate anything. She still hadn’t seen him at Affinity as of yet. Thank God. She might start acting like a bumbling fool. In her thoughts, she didn’t notice that the water from the fountain was starting to overflow from the bottle and drip on the ground. 

    “Miss? Your bottle is full…”  She heard a voice speak. She turned to find a man walking by her, a towel around his neck. 

    “Excuse me!” He stopped. The way he grew tense made her eyebrows furl. 

    “Thanks for lettin me know. I had no clue.” He still hadn’t turned around and she noticed him tightly grip the towel. What was this dude’s problem? She pursed her lips and before turning to pour out some water. As she turned around again, she froze. Familiar almond shaped eyes looked at her, their gaze intense. She squeezed the bottle tightly, making the water gush out. She screeched, the crisp cold soaking her semi wet clothes and skin. 

    “Damn…” She heard a chuckle and faced a white towel as she looked up. 

    “Here.” Her throat suddenly grew dry as her eyes soaked up the man in front of her. Like little roots, his veins traveled up his arms and disappeared underneath his grey workout shirt. his arms were tight and toned and his skin flushed pink glistened with a light mist of sweat. Lord Jesus…She averted her eyes and looked down. There was no way… nooooo way….

    “Um…no thanks. I’m good. I’m gonna get straight into my car.” Slowly, the towel was retracted and once again placed around his neck. 

    “It’s good to see you Rae.” She glanced up, his gaze captivating her. She opened her mouth and somehow words came out. 

    “Nice to see you too Hiroto.”

End Notes:

 

 

A/N:Woo y'all this week has been transition for real lol. Break was last week lol. And I am at the end of the week like LORD. lol. But glad that I've made it in my right mind and in health! Praise God! Sooooo, Our Mr. and Ms. meet again hehehe. *sigh* They so in love man I cannot lol. Next chapter is in the works! :D Have a blessed weekend! <3 

 

Shine into the sky, bright and yellow! 

 

Be set free by the renewing of your mind! 

 

D&L <3 

Step (One At A Time) by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

    “Um….I-I saw your interview on tv today… You left New York?” Her eyes met his. 

    “I did.” He watched as her cheeks grew red and felt his lips smile.

    “When?” His heart beat faster and he felt his blood rush throughout his body. He cleared his throat and shifted from one foot to the other.

    “About two months ago.” Her eyebrows arched. 

    “Two months?” He nodded. 

    “Mm.”

    “Why two months?” 

    “I wanted enough time to have an appropriate break without feeling the need to rush.”

    “Where’d you go again?” 

    “Hocking Hills.”

    “Oh.” He took in a big breath. 

    “Are you headed home?” She wasn’t looking at him and something about that bothered him. She unconsciously worried her lips with bites and her skin shown with the perspiration of her workout.

    “Yeah.” 

    “Rae…” 

    “E-Ebere…” Her voice croaked softly in reply. He felt himself smile. She was so beautiful when she was flustered.

    “Look at me.” She stayed still for a little while before slowly bringing her eyes up to his. Better. Much better. 

    “What?” Her voice was soft.

    “How have you been?” 

    “I’ve been good. Real good.” 

    “I see. That’s great then.”

    “Yeah.” 

    “Mm.” A silence fell between them and she turned to fill her bottle back up without another word. 

    “I guess I should be going hm?” She brought the bottle to her lips and took a long sip before answering, 

    “Me too.” 

    “Okay then. Good night.” He smiled at her. Her blush deepened but she softly smiled in return. 

    “Night.” As he watched her walk away from him, he sighed heavily. He was glad he hadn’t appeared as nervous as he had felt. He lifted his towel to brush his damp hair and began to head to the door. What were the chances that they came to the same gym? On this night? His heart fluttered. He couldn’t help but feel like a new beginning was upon them. As he soon headed to his car, he smiled to himself. He couldn’t wait to see her again. 


******* 


    She drove home in the silence of the night. Soft low smooth jazz played on the radio and the window was cracked, letting cool air into the car. She couldn’t believe it. She’d seen him. She wasn’t expecting to see him for a little while yet. But oh what a surprise it was. She bit her lip as she drove on. All that stuttering and boo boo the foolery going on was not okay. Granted, it had been darn near four months since she had seen bruh so she supposed she could understand. Tightening the steering wheel, she deeply pursed her lips. She was gonna need to get herself together because she refused to keep stuttering every time she saw him. That was definitely not going to happen. 

    When she got home, the first person she dialed was Amee.

    “Hello?” 

    “A…”

    “Hey Ebbie. What’s up?”

    “Guess who I just saw at the gym?” She was quiet. 

    “It better not have been Kwasame punk ass.” 

    “Girl nawl! Please don’t even… you gon give me a headache thinking about him.”

    “Well… who?” She took a breath. 

    “Hiroto.” Her sister grew silent on the phone for a while before, 

    “You saw him tonight?”

    “Yeah…” 

    “Wow…”

    “I know. I was not… expecting to see him.” 

    “So how are you feelin about it?”

    “That’s the thing. I don’t know… I don’t know what to feel…”

    “I’m sure you’re glad to see him again. It’s been a while since you two last saw each other.”

    “Yeah…too long.” 

    “Aww Ebbie you missed him.” She sucked her teeth. 

    “Amee don’t even. I can’t… not tonight. My emotions are all outta whack.”

    “Yep sounds like what happen when you two get together. Y’all go coo coo for cocoa puffs.”

    “No we do not!” Amee started cracking up. 

    “Ebbie, yes y’all do. It’s the cutest thing actually. Like y’all so down for each other but tryna act like y’all ain’t.” She pouted. 

    “Well…”

    “Well nothin. Look, you told me yourself that you was gon give him a chance right?” Her pout grew. 

    “….yeah…”

    “Okay then. So y’all need to get with the program. Cause we don’t know when ol boy goin back to Japan. You needs to get on that and handle that.” 

    “Girl… you… ooh..” She huffed. But she knew she was right. She didn’t know how much longer Hiroto would be in the States. And she wasn’t sure how his life would be once he got back to home base. Or how free he might be. 

    “Gon shower, grab some wine and pray about it. You know what to do missy ma’am.” Amee said with a smile in her voice. She sighed. 

    “Yeah. Thanks A.”

    “No problem Eb. Let me know how it go.”

    “Okay.” She put the phone on her bed and ran herself a warm bath. Her muscles were going to thank her. 


******** 

    The next day he found himself in the board room of Affinity staring at the clock. 

    “Man… where the hell is Rossi?” He dully stared at the clock again. 

    “I don’t know but he better hurry before I say we all call this meeting over.” It was going on fifteen minutes and Rossi had not shown up. He tightened his jaw. Rossi was not the type of man to be late. He felt his muscles stretch and bones pop as he stood. Getting old. If he didn’t get any coffee, he was afraid he would fall asleep in the meeting. His nights had been sleepless lately as his mind spun on rotation around a woman somewhere within this very building. All he could think about was her. Since seeing her at the gym, he had wished that he would be given a chance to see her again but to no avail. He was starting to suspect that she was avoiding him intentionally. 

    “Another ten minutes and I’m leaving.” One of the other business associates exclaimed, his face growing red with irritation. 

    “Yeah. Me too. Rossi’ll hear it from me big time.” He tried not to sigh. Coffee. He needed coffee. 

    “Hiro, where you goin?” 

    “Coffee.” He said as he opened the door. 

    “Hurry back.” 

After a short while, he stood outside of the board room, carefully sipping some warm brew. The roast smelled delightful and he smiled against the cup. It had been a while since he had last had some. Even though it wasn’t from a coffee shop, the office machines weren’t too bad in actuality. Some of them made quite adequate cups. At least Rossi invested in some quality coffee machines. Checking his watch, he tightened his lips against the brim of the cup. Rossi was almost thirty minutes late. Was he not going to show up? 

    “You know you’re going to hear it from these guys right?” 

    “Thanks to you, I’m officially the latest I’ve ever been in my career.”    

    “Don’t blame that on me.”

    “Well…” Voices laughed as they grew closer. 

    “Into the gauntlet we go.” He lifted his eyes and grew still. Lowering his cup, he tightened his jaw.


****** 

    She stopped suddenly and she felt the breath whoosh out of her. She stared ahead, bringing Rossi’s attention forward as well. She was too busy noticing the man in front of her to observe the deep frown that crossed his mouth. 

    “Back from hiatus so soon Iwase?” 

    “My first meeting back and you’re late.” He replied but his eyes never reached him. She felt her heart flutter. 

    “Well you certainly are more excited to see Ms. Marshall than me. I’m hurt.” That seemed to break whatever they had going on. She drew her eyes away and cleared her throat. 

    “All right, don’t start you two. I’ll go in first.” She briskly walked by him and entered the room. Behind the closed door, she took a shaky breath. Her knees were trembling. Her mind raced but she would address it later. Standing tall, she smiled at the many men who sat there, quite irritably. 

    “Hello gentlemen.” They sat up and eyed her as she made her way to the  second seat near the front. 

    “Ms. Marshall!” One of them exclaimed. She smiled. 

    “Hello! How are you?” 

    “We’re fine! It’s a pleasure to have you back.” She smiled. 

    “It’s wonderful to be back. I’m ready to get to work.” One of the associates eyed the door. 

    “Where is Antonio? Did you come to tell us that the meeting was cancelled?”

    “No, he’s right outside. He’ll be in shortly.” 

    “He is not normally this late.” 

    “Yeah. I was going to leave.” As she was about to reply, the door opened and both men walked in. She tried not to but she felt her eyes follow Hiroto as he came to sit down, right in front of her. Licking her lips, she clutched her hands underneath the table. He looked irritated, his face stern and cool. Glancing over at Antonio, she noticed his cheeks were much redder than before. He cleared his throat. 

    “Good afternoon gentlemen. Excuse my extenuating tardiness. I had another business matter to attend to. I didn’t expect it to take up as much time as it did.” 

    “I’m sure. Your favorite employee is back.” She felt her chest grow tight Dag. They wasn’t wastin no time. Lord. Antonio inhaled slowly. 

    “I’m glad you noticed Daniel.” Looking across the table, she found Hiroto looking at her. She clutched her fingers together. 

    “I’m sure you out of everyone has been most excited for her return.” 

    “What is it you are implying Daniel?” Oh Lord… 

    “I'm not implying anything. I’m just saying that you seem really chipper lately.” 

    “Okay gentlemen let’s not start.” She butt in. What was it with these men? They fought like cats and dogs over the most trivial things. 

    “Are you glad to be back?” Daniel asked as he turned to look at her. 

    “Excuse me?”

    “Are you glad to be back underneath your boss? Maybe your business might take longer than thirty minutes next time.” Rossi stood up. 

    “Daniel. Remove yourself from the room.” 

    “Don’t dismiss me like a school child Antonio.” 

    “You’re acting like a child. In a room full of professionals, we have no time for immaturity.” Daniel slowly got up from his chair. 

    “Says the guy who was thirty minutes late to a meeting of “professionals” because he was too caught up in his pretty assistant. Right.” 

    “Daniel,” To her surprise, Hiroto stood. 

    “Think about what you’re saying. I understand you’re irritable because of Rossi’s tardiness. We all are. But please for the sake of your relationship, think wisely.” Daniel scowled. 

    “Look I don’t mean to be rude but you aren’t in a place to talk to me like we’re friends rookie.” That seemed to make him grow stiff. 

    “Daniel that’s enough! Let’s calm down!” One of the other associates tried, slowly standing up. 

    “He hasn’t been in this game long enough to-” 

    “Mr. Logan!” Her voice, strong and firm cut through the tension. Everyone stared at her. 

    “You are out of line.”

    “So she speaks…” 

    “You do nothing but bully those who are lower in rank and those you find insignificant. However, at Affinity, we do not associate with corrupt and selfish man children. If you would be so kind, please take your leave.” Logan paled. 

    “Spoken like a true CEO. You’ve surely spoiled her eh Antonio? That’s all right. I don’t have to be asked to leave. I was on my way out.” He gathered his materials and soon exited from the room. Things grew awkward in its silence before she cleared her throat. 

    “Mr. Rossi. If you may begin the meeting?” He stood up, his face grim. 

    “Of course.” 

******** 

    The meeting had ended thirty minutes ago and she had retreated into the break room. She tapped her fingers on the counter, her gaze distant. What had occurred was infuriating her. Why would Logan just go off like that? She could understand how Rossi being late could irritate him but to darn near attack the three of them was totally inappropriate. Breathing through her nostrils with a short hot angry puff of air, she opened the fridge to get some cold milk to add to her coffee that was brewing. As she reached up to grab a cup from the cupboard, she heard the door to the break room open. 

    “Rae?” She turned to face Shelley, who looked worried. 

    “Before you ask, I don’t know. I have no idea.” She said with a irritated tone. 

    “Rossi look like he bout to pop a blood vessel. And don’t get me started on Mr. Iwase. He looks like marble. Just silent and all brooding.” Yeah, he would. That’s how he got. She sighed. Perhaps now was the perfect time to act like a friend. She bit her lip and took a deep breath. She couldn’t continue to avoid him. Clearly, God was placin them together like this for a reason and she couldn’t ignore it anymore. 

    “Let’s go.”

    “What about your coffee?”

    “I’ll come back to it.” 


***** 


    He sat against the window, pressing his temple against the cool glass. His chest was still tight from the meeting that had ended a while ago. To be honest, he hadn’t cared about what Logan said about him. The things he said about Rae was what caused fire to burn. It simply was not to be tolerated. 

    “Hey.” He turned to see her standing in front of him, her arms gently clasped behind her back. He blinked and felt his cheeks grow warm. 

    “Hey yourself.” She licked her lips. 

    “Are you…are you okay?” 

    “I was going to ask you the same.” She pursed her lips. 

    “Frankly, I’m pissed. But… I’ll get over it.”

    “It’s not right. They gang up on you because you’re the only woman in the room.”

    “Yeah and I can hold my own.” He felt a smile come to his face and cleared his throat. She was still strong and stubborn. 

    “I know you can.”

    “Well… um…” She stuttered and bit her lip. 

    “I’m fine. Thank you for wondering.” 

    “…You’re welcome…” She began to turn to walk away and stopped. 

    “Hiroto?” He watched her from behind, softly smiling. 

    “Yes beautiful?” She stood still, fists clutched. 

    “W-want some coffee?” 

    “Sure.” 

******* 

    She watched as he slowly took a sip of the coffee and felt her throat grow drier than the Sahara. The way he held his cup reminded her of a summer in Nara with tea, yukata and the summer breeze. She grabbed her cup and took a gulp. When she looked up from the dark contents of her cup, she found his eyes looked at her from over the brim of his mug. He hadn’t pulled it away from his mouth and neither had she. Time seemed to slow and the ticking of the clock grew louder. She felt herself falling into his depths and forced herself to look away with. She placed the cup on the table and tightly gripped it. 

    “Why are you lookin at me like that?” 

    “Like what?” She sucked her teeth and pursed her lips. 

    “You know how. Don’t play.” The corner of his mouth curled up in a smirk. 

    “What do you mean by play?” She sucked her teeth loudly and rolled her eyes. 

    “Okay you playin for real.” 

    “Just how was I looking at you I wonder?” He mused as he took another sip of his coffee.

    “Like-”

    “I missed you?” He interrupted, putting the cup down. She tried to swallow but wasn’t no saliva to swallow. 

    “…I…I…” 

    “I did. Very much.” He continued with a small sigh. Her heart beat wildly in her chest. 

    “You certainly don’t miss a beat.” She somehow replied, rather shakily, before standing. 

    “I’ve never missed a beat when it came to you.” Jesus. 

    “Okay listen, you gotta chill Hiroto.” 

    “I am chill.” 

    “Mm.” Silence soon grew in the room again and in quiet, they both finished their coffee. 

    “So…how was your trip?” She asked as he got up to go place his cup in the small sink. 

    “It was great. I got a chance to heal from a lot of things. I thought I had conquered them but apparently not.”

    “Them?” He leaned back against the counter top and turned around to look at her, hands in his pockets. 

    “My past. Everything I had buried had to come out.” She looked down at her cup. 

    “I know what you mean.” 

    “Mm.” She sighed and slowly pushed her chair back from the table. 

    “The last time we were around each other I was angry and hurt.” He hadn’t taken his eyes off of her yet. 

    “Understandable.” She slowly came to the sink and put her cup in. 

    “I wasn’t trying to do anything but be mad at you…” 

    “Are you not angry now?” His voice grew low and quiet. 

    “Not..not entirely…not like before…” She gathered her courage and looked up at him. 

    “I don’t want to continue to live being angry. So, I’ve decided that I am going to give you a chance…” His cheeks grew a soft pink and his hand that had been taken out of his pocket gripped the counter. 

    “I…I see.” She licked her lips. 

    “I mean… in our past…”

    “Let it stay there. Let’s not bring it up.” He cut her off, his voice gentle. She tightened her fist and let it grow relaxed. To his surprise, she lifted her hand and softly pressed her palm against his cheek. He grew still. 

    “You were a victim too. Just like I was. But I had forgotten in my bitterness. Don’t you remember when it was us against the world?” He reached up and grasped her hand, a smile slowly coming to his face. 

    “I’ll always remember that.” She sighed heavily. 

    “I don’t know what’s gonna happen. But… I think… I want to try to forgive you.” The next time he spoke, it sounded like his voice was filled with tears. 

    “I’d…I’d really appreciate that Rae…” She slowly pulled her hand away from his cheek but gripped his fingers. 

    “Can we try to be friends again?” He nodded, tears starting to make his lashes wet. 

    “Mm.” She squeezed his hand before letting it go. 

    “Okay.” She stepped back from the sink.

    “I’ll see you soon.” She smiled and began to head to the door.

    “Thank you…” She felt her heart flutter and smiled. 

    “You’re welcome.” As she headed back to her desk, she couldn’t help thinking that the journey they were about to go on was going to be one heck of a ride. But she felt like she could finally do it. Call her crazy but she had faith in them. She felt like ‘they’ could do this. 

End Notes:

 

A/N: Hey you guysss <3 <3 <3 I been writin a whole lot lately. Woosa. I missed writing these two together! First of all, Daniel Logan need several seats. Second, yassssssss. I'm excited for what is going to happen y'all. Let's gooo! <3 :D 

Take care, till next time! God bless! <3 

Be set free by the renewing of your mind! 

Shine into the sky, bright and yellow! :D 

 

D&L <3


Explosion by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

Soundtrack: 

Amel Larrieux- For Real Lyrics Video 

Jill Scott-Cruisin 

Daley ft. Marsha Ambrosius- Alone Together 

 

 

 

 

Mid July 

Evening 

 

    A hand pressed against her back and she sighed as they stood outside of the venue. Cameras flashed around them. She took a deep breath. 

    “Ready?” She looked up at him, her heart about to beat out of her chest. 

    “Yeah.” They entered through the doors into the grand hall where people laughed, glasses clinked and there was enough glitz and glam to make her vomit. At their arrival, some of the women stopped and eyed them. She ran her tongue over her teeth and smiled at them. 

    “Mr. Iwase! What a pleasure it is to meet you again!” He kept his hand on her back and gently pulled her against his side. 

    “Ah, yes! Morgan from J.C and Rodgers.” They shook hands firmly. 

    “Who is this charming young lady who has accompanied you tonight?” She smiled. 

    “Ms. Rae Marshall ma’am.” The woman’s lips formed a perfect ‘o’ shape and her eyebrows sky rocketed. 

    “Aren’t you Antonio’s pretty secretary? I would have expected you to accompany him again this year.” She could do nothing but laugh awkwardly. Hiroto cleared his throat and smiled politely at her. 

    “If you would excuse us.” As he led her away, she heard the woman utter under her breath, 

    “She sure does get around.” She tightened her grip on her clutch. 

    “Hiroto,” He stopped walking and looked down at her. Her breath caught for a moment. He truly did look breathtakingly handsome tonight. His hair was parted on the side and his hair was swept away from his forehead, creating gentle waves down the side of his temple and his tuxedo fit him like a glove. 

    “I’m thirsty.” 

    “Ah. I’ll get you something. Pick us a spot to sit?” She nodded with a smile as he slowly removed his hand from her back. She exhaled. When he had asked her to be his date, she hadn’t known at first what to do or what to say. 

****** 

 

    The days were blending together way too fast for her. She couldn’t believe that summer was almost over. She sighed as she dug her spoon into her ice cream. Glancing over, she saw Hiroto with his favorite kind, green tea. Memories of their teenage years came rushing back and she smiled. These were the days she missed so greatly. She was beginning to want to allow him to call her Rae again… exclusively. But she decided too soon. Still. Her process of forgiveness had been slow and fast at the same time.. she wanted to keep it steady. 

    “Ebere?” She paused, spoon in mouth. 

    “Hm?” He leaned over and gently spooned some of her strawberry. 

    “Hey!” He grinned as she pouted, holding her cup away against her chest. 

    “Can I ask you something?” He asked as he ate her ice cream. 

    “Sure…”

    “I am not sure if Rossi told you already. There is a gala coming up in a few weeks.” 

    “No, he ain’t mention it.” 

    “I want you to be my date.” She choked on her ice cream. His date?

    “Uh…I…I don’t know what to say…” He looked seriously at her this time. 

    “You don’t have to answer now.” She looked down at her melting cup of sweet berry. 

    “I’ll think about it.” 

******** 

    Here she was though and she wasn’t complaining. These types of gatherings weren’t particularly her favorite but the man currently bringing her a flute of champagne made it worth while. 

    “Here you are.” She smiled and gladly accepted it from him. 

    “Thank you.” The way he was looking at her unnerved her and she took a large gulp of bubbly to put them back into place. 

    “What?” 

    “You’re so beautiful.” His answer was simple but made butterflies flutter in her stomach. 

    “Well I gotta be to come to these things right?” 

    “You’re radiant every day I see you. Not just here.” Okay so his chill was back at 0. 

    “Hiroto…” 

    “Is it a crime to admire you?” 

    “N-No…” He took her in from head to toe and sighed. 

    “I’ll be back hm?” He went off in the direction of the champagne again, leaving her alone. She gently took another sip of her glass. 

    “Rae?” She turned and her fingers gripped the glass. Antonio. 

    “Hi.” His gaze fell down her body. 

    “You look stunning.” She cleared her throat. 

    “Thanks.” She eyed the pretty blonde who damn near attached herself to his hip. 

    “Your dress is gorgeous.” The woman smiled. 

    “Thank you. Yours too. Red is such a classic color.” 

    “Where’s Iwase?” He asked, looking through the crowd. 

    “Oh um he went to get a drink.” 

    “Ah. There he is.” She turned to find Hiroto heading back their way. 

    “Darling, why don’t you retrieve some champagne for us?” He spoke against the woman’s temple and soon she was on her way. At the sight of him, Hiroto’s expression grew stiff. 

    “Rossi.” 

    “Iwase.” 

    “It’s good to see you.” 

    “Likewise.” She could feel the tension rise between them like a flash of lightening. 

    “Hiroto, I’m gonna go find a spot for us to sit okay?” 

    “All right.” She turned and tried not to fly away from them. Lord. She prayed tonight would not bring any drama. 

 

******** 

    “She’s absolutely divine in that dress.” Rossi said, eyes sliding down the bare expanse of her back as she walked away from them. He took a sip of his champagne slowly, anger rising in his chest. 

    “Who is your date tonight Rossi?” 

    “Some blonde.” He still hadn’t taken his eyes off of Rae. 

    “I believe I’m talking to you Antonio.” Finally, his eyes met his. 

    “It figures she would come with you Iwase.” 

    “What do you mean?” 

    “Here we go.” His date came back and pressed a flute into his hand. He smiled at her. 

    “Dear, why don’t you find us a place to sit? I’ll be there shortly.” 

    “Oh… okay.” Upon setting eyes on him, she blushed. 

    “Hi.” He nod, a polite smile following. 

    “Hello.” She turned sheepishly, leaving them alone once again. 

    “If you think that bringing her to this gala was a win, think again.” 

    “It’s because of that ideology right there that explains why she is here with me tonight.” 

    “How much did you pay her? Perhaps you offered her a higher salary than mine.” His glass paused. The anger crackled between them now. 

    “You think I paid her to attend? That may be the case with your beautiful acquaintance. But I assure you…Rae came of her own volition.” 

    “I’m sure she did. Considering it isn’t beneath you to sleep with women to get what you want. How many times did you touch her?” Okay now he was starting to get pissed. Before he punched him, he needed to find Rae. 

    “It’s laughable that you think you know me Antonio. You know nothing about me. For your sake, I implore you to keep it that way. If you would excuse me…” 

******** 

    She noticed the way his jaw was tight as he came to the table. 

    “Hiroto? What’s wrong?” He inhaled through his nostrils and placed his tight fists on the table.     

    “Your employer is infuriating.” She gently slid her hand across his fist. 

    “Don’t let what he said upset you. Enjoy your evening with me.” He exhaled and gripped her fingers. 

    “You’re right.” A tinkling of a fork on a glass brought their attention to the room. 

    “Thank you everyone for attending this year’s Annual Starkman’s Gala! I am your host for the evening, Michael Burke from Burke and Holley Stock Firm. Let tonight be an enjoyable one for you all. Enjoy your evening!” And thus the evening commenced quite grandly. 

 

*******

    After a few drinks in, everyone was much more relaxed and cordial. He had talked with a few new and upcoming businessmen and even some businesswomen. And now, he held Rae close as they danced to a soft ensemble. He pressed his fingers lightly against her back and they glided across the floor. The sweet demure scent of her perfume made him sigh. She pressed her cheek against his chest and he smiled, slowly tightening his arm around her. She gripped his hand tighter and closed her eyes. He pressed his nose against the nape of her neck, where the smell of her perfume was the most intense. She smelled so good. So feminine. He wanted to reach up and let her hair free from her updo. She had straightened it and he wanted to feel it in between his fingers. The sweet melody of the music guided them in dizzying circles and once the piece was over, he wished it hadn’t ended so soon. She stayed put against him but only for a while before she pulled away. He let her hand go slowly. 

    “Mr. Iwase!” Licking his lips, he turned to the voice with a smile. 

    Once done with more conversation, he turned to find Rae standing by the Hors d’oeuvres table. He felt rage as he watched Rossi push her back against the linen as he leaned over her, his hands flat against the table. That was not going to happen. Not while he was here. He crossed the room quicker than he had time to comprehend. 

    “Excuse me.” Rae’s expression screamed for him. Rossi ignored him. 

    “…I think maybe after work someday soon we can finally go dinner.” 

    “I’m not thinking so Antonio…” She grabbed his wrist. 

    “Let me go please. I don’t think your date would appreciate you being like this.” 

    “Rae…” 

    “Take your hand away from the table.” He intervened, his voice firm. 

    “Fuck you.” 

    “Whoa okay that’s it…” She pushed his wrist but he gripped the table, preventing her from leaving. 

    “Rae, I’ve known you for ten years. You barely know this guy. How is it that you give him more time than me?” 

    “You’ve clearly had too much to drink…let me go.”

    “No dammit.” Enough was enough. He grabbed his wrist and yanked it away from the table, freeing Rae. 

    “Don’t fucking touch me you bastard!” He felt the pain before it registered that he’d been punched. Screams and shouts echoed throughout the hall. He felt the anger shatter and he didn’t stop himself from pulling back his arm and clocking him right in the mouth. He yelled and bent forward, holding his mouth in his hands.     

    “Hiroto! Antonio! Stop it!” 

    “You piece of shit!” Antonio landed one more blow to him and kicked him back until he fell on his back. Before he could get on top of him, she dashed in front of him to both of their surprise. She pressed her hands flat against the floor and put most her weight against him as if to shield him. 

    “Stop it! Don’t put another hand on him!” She yelled, her voice full of angry tears. He lifted his head, his cheek and jaw radiating with pain. Antonio blinked in his stupor. 

    “Rae…I’m just…”

    “No. Leave him alone.” 

    “Why are you protecting him like this?” 

    “Go home before you embarrass yourself further Antonio.” Her firm tone made him shake. 

    “Antonio…let’s…let’s go.” His date was pulling him away but he wasn’t trying to go. 

    “Mr. Rossi, we’ll have to respectfully ask you to leave.” Burke said coming to stand behind them. He let his date pull him out of the hall and soon, the violins began to play again. He slowly lifted and pressed his uninjured cheek against the top of her head.     

    “Rae…”

    “Let’s go. Please.” He gently stroked her back with his fingers. 

    “Okay sweetheart. We can leave.” 

******** 

    They walked in silence, forgoing the limo that had been offered them. The warm summer air pushed them closer. She swallowed and upon seeing a small playground, grabbed his hand and pulled him that way. She didn’t know what to say… at the moment she wasn’t sure she wanted to speak. The shock of what happened still making her mind spin. She let his hand go and went up ahead to get one of the swings. He came behind her and gently began to push her. Soon, she gained wind and speed and let herself lean back, her dress flowing like red silk. She smiled as the wind hit her face and breathed it in. 

    She felt the swing be pulled back against a hard chest and turned to look up Hiroto, his gaze intense but tender. She felt her heart beat faster. It must have been the drinks she had that made her reach up and softly touch his lip where Rossi had hit him. He gently pulled the pin that kept her hair up and her hair came flowing down like a long black river. He pressed his face into the strands and she bit her lip, closing her eyes. His hands slid down the chains of the swing and gripped hers. Her eyes popped open and into the deep brown streams she fell. He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers without warning. She grew still. Her eyes wide. But soon… soon they closed and she kissed him back. The way his lips fit so perfectly against hers, the taste of him that suddenly burst into her senses, all of it made her dizzy. She gripped the chains to the swing tighter and lifted her chin to deepen the kiss. The rumble that came from him drifted into her tastebuds and traveled to her heart with a loud bang. She felt like she was floating, the attack on her senses too much. She pulled her lips away from his, her breath slightly heavy. 

    “Not…Not yet…” She spoke softly, her voice quiet. 

    “I’m sorry.” His voice whispered against her cheek. She pulled away from him and he let his hands slide away from hers. She stood, holding on to the bars of the swing set to balance herself. Her legs had lost feeling. She stood still for a while, gathering her breath. 

    “Let’s go…” Pinkies intertwined as they began the trip home. 

 

 

******** 

    A few days had past since the gala and she sat up in bed, letting the natural light and sun wash over her face. She purposely hadn’t called him or anything. She had been scared. The kiss they’d shared spun like rinse wash and repeat in her mind and she wasn’t ready yet… to face him. She didn’t know what to blame.. the champagne…him…her…both of them? If somebody had told her that the lips of the man you love could move your very spirit she wouldn’t have believed them. She woulda looked at them like they were crazy. But that kiss had done something to her. It was like she had literally felt her spirit shift. It had been so… so atmospheric… nothing like anything she had experienced before. Damn. That was all she could think then… and now. Just damn. Sighing, she rolled out of bed and put on some comfy clothes. It was cleaning day and she intended to bring her mind out of la la land. Putting on some music she got to work. She knew some time soon she would have to see him. But for now, she just wanted to clean and not even think about it. 

 

        ****** 

    He sat in his personal office as he typed up important documents. It was growing late. As the day turned into night, he sighed. He let his fingers grow still on his computer. He hadn’t heard from Rae in a couple days and knew she was avoiding him. Truth be told, he felt guilty. He had kissed her without her permission. But even so, the kiss they’d shared was…it was indescribable. He couldn’t stop thinking about it since. It seemed that as it had been in youth, touching her was a dangerous no no. He had to this point been very careful not to initiate touch… because of the very reason of temptation. She already made his blood sing and flow to places that too cried out for her. Sighing again, he laid his head back against the cushion of the chair and closed his eyes. He refused to let his flesh get to him. 

    His new journey with the Lord has been unfamiliar, frightening and even intimidating. All of his life, he had never known about the man called Jesus nor had ever had a relationship with Him. The only thing he thought about when Christianity came up was the crosses he saw in the latest rock videos. But ever since he had gotten back from Hocking Hills, he had this desire to buy a bible and so one day he had grabbed one. He couldn’t stop reading it since. It did something to him. It nourished him somehow. He wondered… was this the feeling Rae experienced when they were young; this unexplainable presence of love, warmth and goodness?

    He smiled softly to himself. For some reason, he been coming across the scriptures talking about marriage lately…the role and beauty of being a husband….and that of the wife. He wanted that so badly for Rae and him. Sighing heavily, he closed his computer. He had also read about sexual immorality and knew that it was his duty to keep them on track… no matter how much he wanted her. Thoughts of her had raced all day and he had worked until exhaustion in the hopes of distracting himself. But it hadn’t worked. Getting up, he packed up his things and closed the office. He would have to talk to her…soon.

 

*******

2:31 am

    He pressed his face into his pillow and looked at the time. He sighed. Why was he awake? His thoughts strayed to Rae. Was she still up at this time? It was eating him up inside… this silence between them. They were going to have to talk about it. He grabbed his phone and began to dial her number but paused. No..what if she was asleep? Biting his lips, he closed his eyes and listened to the soft singing of the birds outside. He felt as though he should call her…Taking a deep breath, he pressed send and waited. After a short while,  a soft voice answered.

    “Hello?” 

    “Hello.” 

    “Hiroto?” 

    “Mm morning.”

    “Mornin…It’s like 2 in the morning. Is somethin wrong?”

    “A crazy idea just popped into my head.”

    “What is it?” He licked his lips and lifted to look outside at the empty streets. 

    “Ride shotgun with me.” To his surprise, there was quiet for a little while until, 

    “Sure.” 

******* 

    She quickly showered and brushed her teeth. Washing her face, she put her hair up into a ponytail. As she put on some workout shorts, a cozy shirt and a light jacket, she sighed. What were they doing? It was 2:55 am on a Sunday morning. Why were they acting like risky kids who had nothing better to do with their lives? She put on some comfortable shoes and checked herself in the mirror. Either way, it would be a good time to hash out what happened between them. That, she convinced herself, was really why she was going. She heard a horn outside and said a quick prayer. Lord, don’t let me act up. Don’t let him act up. Please.

 

********* 

    The wind felt so good in between her fingers and she smiled as the breeze drifted through the strands of her hair. They cruised through the empty streets, the lights from the many signs and street lights blazing a path of clarity. 

    “I think we needed this.” His voice spoke, relaxed and calm. She sighed. 

    “Yeah.” 

    “Are you hungry?” 

    “A little.” Lucky for them, plenty of fast food restaurants were still open. They pulled into a small eatery. 

    “Rae..” She looked up at him. 

    “Eber-”

    “I know. I…I just wanted to get this off of my chest..” She felt her cheeks grow hot and stared at him. 

    “I shouldn’t have kissed you that night. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” She swallowed tightly and cleared her throat. Without a reply, she got out of the car and entered the restaurant. 

 

********

    He sat in the car, fingers drumming against the steering wheel. The fact that she didn’t say anything was tearing at him. He was trying to do this God’s way, honest he was. But, it was so hard sometimes… sometimes, one look from her and he would grow aflame. He took a shaky breath and leaned his forehead against the wheel. He could do this. They could do this. He lifted his head as the car door opened and she got in with some greasy fast food. Handing him a bag, she began to eat without so much as glance at him. He sighed and ate some of his fries. 

    “Hiroto,” He glanced up at her. 

    “Hm?”

    “I kissed you back of my own free will.” He licked the salt off of his lips and pursed them. 

    “I still know better…” She grew quiet again and they finished their food in silence. He started the car and they began their journey back through the city until it led them home. 

****** 

    He led her up the stairs to her door. She took a deep breath. It wasn’t fair. She wanted to just let what had been inside her chest and heart free. She knew it was way too soon and that if they moved too fast…. it could get in the way of their progress. But the truth was that she had been afraid of what she might…might do around him. The truth was that she had intended to go home with him that night of the gala. Truth be told whatever happened after would have been intentional. She was emotional and hadn’t been thinking straight. She was drunk by the time they left and wasn’t in her right mind. She also knew that she would have regret it. They would have regret it. Wanting to be with someone as much as she did with Hiroto was not a cake walk. She understood the ramifications of what could…or could not happen. Was she still so immature that every time the man looked at her, she grew weak in the knees? Licking her lips, she tightened her fingers together.     

    So many things were going through her mind right now and all of it had to do with this man. He came up the last step and stood behind her. She felt like sooner or later what was between them was gonna explode. If she ignored it, wouldn’t it make it worse? Turning around, she faced him. Just one kiss then…then I’m done…He blinked as she lifted on her tip toes, caressed his cheeks with her fingers and slowly brought his lips to hers. So quickly his lips molded to hers, without complaint or complication. Just a soft one… not too intense. Pulling back, she bit her lip and their eyes found each others. 

    “Ebere…” She pressed her nose against his neck and gripped his shirt. Jesus I wanna kiss this man all night and day long…It was not enough. She lifted and slowly his hand came to touch her cheek. It sparked fireworks within her and her lips crashed against his again without a second thought. What are you doing…. Her conscious was not too happy with her but she took a deep breath before she let the love and desire she felt blossom. His hands slowly slid around her waist and somehow the door to her house was opened. She didn’t remember how but she stepped back into her house and he followed.    

    Shoes were kicked off hastily and limbs were eager to be intertwined. Everything was moving too fast and there were too many things in the room, too much in the way. So dizzy… the room spun like a top and she didn’t know where he started and she ended. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his eyes, dark and deep glanced up at her, their lips hovering above each other. Despite everything within her telling her no, her hands pulled him closer, her breath becoming one with his. Their legs led them back against her table. He pressed hands flat against the surface and leaned down to nuzzle her, making her breathless. Her skin grew flushed underneath her clothes as his fingers gently danced down her waist to skim her bottom. 

    He slowly lifted her up into his arms and she gripped his biceps, wrapping her legs around him. She breathed against his Adam’s apple and closed her eyes. It could not have been so right for a man to feel so good. He placed her bottom back against the table.

    “Hiroto…” He didn’t say anything, just gripped the linen under them in his fingers tightly. His cheeks were flushed pink, his lips bruised a rosy red, eyes burning with tenderness and conflicting desire. He laid his forehead on her shoulder and she heard the sound of his breath. Her fingers slid into his hair, gently massaging his scalp. 

    “Rae…This is a mistake.” His voice was low and throaty. Her fingers left his hair and slid across his shoulders. Even so, mistake or not… his fingers slid up the exposed skin of her thigh, bringing it higher up his waist. 

    “We’ve made a lot of mistakes in the time we’ve been together.” She replied, her voice hushed.

    “Doesn’t make it right.” He breathed against the tender skin. She was quiet with the feel of him overwhelming her. 

    “We can’t do this.” He was right. They couldn’t. They shouldn’t. But, she wanted to let the need for intimacy between them grow stronger and stronger until the dream of becoming one was made reality. All she seemed to do was fight against him. She was tired. The temptation that throbbed against her inner thigh was making her mind foggy. It felt so wrong… but right at the same time. Jesus please.

    “I know…I know we…we shouldn’t…” He tangled his fingers in her hair. 

    “Like so many times before… you’ve been right in my grasp and then you disappear. I don’t want you to disappear this time…” She leaned up and kissed him. 

    “I won’t disappear. I’m real. Can’t you feel that?” She should be ashamed of herself, moving her hips against his in the way that she did. He groaned and bit his lip, digging his fingers into her hips. 

    “That’s real Roto… What I feel is real.” She whispered, causing him to groan again, a low soft timbre. She lifted and slid her hands down his waist and gently played with the elastic band around his hips. 

    “Years of wanting you has broken me down. That kiss at the gala made it live again.”

    “There’s nothing more I want than to give you what you’re asking me for right now…” His voice was low and rumbled against her throat as his lips pressed against the skin. She sharply inhaled and gripped his shoulders. 

    “Roto…” He reached up to caress her cheek. 

    “We’re going to do this the right way…one step at a time.” He leaned down over her and she felt his lips press against hers. He stopped her hips and she damn near whined in protest. 

    “We have to stop. Before we both do something we’ll regret later.” 

    “Hiroto-”

    “Listen to me. We’re not ready for this.” She pouted as he let his hands slide away from her and he stiffly stood back, his fingers tight in a fist. She swallowed thickly and sat up, her legs closing. 

    “I’m sorry…” 

    “Come here sweetheart.”  She buried her face in his chest, her cheeks hotter than the sun. Slowly, her arms came around his waist. He wrapped his arms around her, enclosing her in his warmth. 

    “Don’t apologize.”

    “But…I literally almost… tossed this at you right now… like…” He chuckled. 

    “And I literally almost caught it.” She pushed against his chest. 

    “You did not just say that…” He grinned. 

    “After all these years, here you are still throwing yourself at me.” She sucked her teeth. 

    “I threw myself at you? What about on the swings? Who threw at who?” His grin grew deeper.

    “Too much to drink.” She pursed her lips. 

    “Sure Hiroto. Sure.” 

    “Well, you were looking absolutely stunning. Maybe it was the way that dress accentuated your curves… that probably had something to do with it.” 

    “You off the chain tonight huh?” His dimples deepened. 

    “It makes me happy you still want what’s in my pants.” She sucked her teeth and shoved him. 

    “Shut up Hiroto!” 

    “You tell on yourself. It’s so cute.” He laughed. She felt a small grin come to her face.     

    “Well, I mean…I’m curious about that reputation of yours. Is it true?” He chuckled lowly and pulled her flush against him bringing a gasp to her. 

    “You’ll find out first hand someday.” Oh snap… She gripped his shirt at the waist.

    “Well, guess I’ll have to take a raincheck then.” He leaned down and brushed his nose against the apple of her cheek. 

    “We’ll have to keep hands to ourselves until then sweetheart.” She smiled and nodded. He was still so honorable and respectful. He was a good man.

    “I guess.” He placed a hand on top of her head and gently ruffled her hair. 

    “For now… I should go. I’ll be good.” She let go of him.    

    “Boy please. When are you not causing trouble?”

    “Trouble? That’s what you call this?” His hand slid down her body and playfully teased the skin of her thigh. She sharply inhaled, gripping his forearm. 

    “Hiroto…”

    “If that’s what this is… I guess I cause it quite a bit hm?” She felt like her face was going to fall off from the heat.

    “Get out Hiroto.” He pulled his fingers away from her and slid them into his pockets, grin deep and mischievous.     

    “I thought you were going to ask me to stay.” She pushed his arm.

    “Nah nah nah. Your mouth got you in trouble. Nope.” He laughed before grabbing his coat. 

    “Ah, I’m being kicked out…” 

    “You sure are. Kick rocks homie.” He chuckled and slid on his shoes. 

    “Maybe we should ride shotgun more often.” 

    “Nope. Out. Go.” He poked her forehead playfully. 

    “I’m going.” 

    “You ain’t goin fast enough.” She huffed as she tried to push him out the door. He walked slowly, nearly cackling at her feeble attempts before finally making it outside. 

    “Good night you jerk.” He laughed and shook his head. 

    “Good night beautiful.” As she watched him get into his car and drive away, she sighed. She’d missed their playful banter. Smiling to herself, she bit her lip. Truth be told, she was overjoyed that somewhere in his journey, he had found Christ. The fact that he wanted to do this His way with her… that showed her just how much he valued and cared about her. 

    She closed her door and pressed her back against it, eying the living room and kitchen. The linen on her kitchen table was all crumpled. She’d have to iron it again. Some of the plates she had on her table were crooked and off center. She bit her lip. She needed to get her whole entire life. Now that he was back, she needed self control more than ever. She couldn’t forget just how passionate of a couple they were together. That man there… was trouble on legs. He was melting the ice she had built around her heart. Slowly, it had turned into the forgiveness they both wanted and needed. If she kept herself straight… maybe they could plant a new seed and start over. She wanted that. To start over. With the only man she would ever love. Grazing her fingers across the linen, she headed back to her bathroom and ran a bath. Soon, the water surrounded her and she let the warmth lull her to sleep. 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End Notes:

A/N: Woo y'all lol. So alas we have arrived at the second teaser in the introduction! I love that it always turns out different than how I originally wrote it haha. I love that Rae and Roto can laugh and push past their desire and love for one another. I also have to give a shout out to my man for actually being a REAL man. If there any fellas readin, LEARN lol. Y'all don't think Hiroto wanted to just give in? He had the love of life all over him. He very easily could have made the choice to forsake all he had learned and (believed in) for a moment of bliss to be regretted later. This proves that not ALL men think with they nether regions. The real ones anyway. He was man enough to tell his lady look babe, we're not doing this. Plain and simple. On another note, things with Rossi and Roto also "exploded" this chapter. Frankly, I am tired of Antonio Rossi. he get on my lassssst. Ya know, him and Kiko are more alike than they both know: annoying, intentionally choosing to be blind and need to get they life away from Rae and Roto.  

 

Let's talk about that KISS y'all. *dreamy sigh* It got kinda grown and sexy a bit lol.  <3 Writing the "shotgun scene" and the "kiss scene(s)"were the highlight for me this chapter. As you can probably tell, I am time skipping a bit. I at the most am trying to have a total of 55 chapter total by the end and I have a bit more to go lol. But, that is just a preliminary number. I will write until it is finished properly. :D The next chapter will also be a time skip. Get ready y'all. It's about to go downnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Woo. Y'all. Y'all Y'all. lol. I have some pictures of gala night and then I'm off to write some more. Next chapter is in the works :) 

 

Thank you for all your comments, love and support! God bless you all on this Resurrection weekend!! <3 

 

Till next time loves, 

 

Be set free by the renewing of your mind! 

 

Shine into the sky, bright and yellow! 

 

Sunhalo17 

 

 

 

Rae's outfit: 

 

 

Hiroto's outfit: 

 

 

Hairstyle:

 

Waves by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

    Green swirled past her, many beautiful shades of red, yellow and blue intermixing in a whirl. She smiled and pressed her forehead against cool glass and breathed, a small foggy circle soon appearing. 

    “Rae, look.” A dark winding road met her vision. But soon, off to the sides beheld gorgeous rock, carved by God’s own hand. Rushing water fell and the sound of the roaring waters made her smile. 

    “It’s beautiful.” 

    “I think so too.” She looked up at Hiroto, who held the steering wheel comfortably. He focused his attention on the road; better for her to look all she wanted. He looked ahead at the road. His hair was pulled back from his forehead and his cheeks were rosy. His jaw was relaxed but smooth and sharp. She glanced away before her eyes got to his lips. He looked so good wearing a flannel shirt, dark jeans and dark brown boots. So simplistic but so him. She sighed and turned to look out of the window again. 

    “Where are you taking me Man?” He chuckled next to her. 

    “I’m taking you on the best adventure of your life my dear.” 

 

******* 

    Little by little, step by step they had grown closer. Laughter filled her heart and his eyes. A new strength and a new bond had been birthed between them. Ebere simply returned to…Rae. Hiroto returned to… Roto. It had taken some time but it was so good to have him back. 

 

********* 

    “Rae?” She laid her head on his lap and looked up at him. 

    “What?” 

    “Tell me something.” 

    “Shoot.” 

    “This feeling I have in my chest… this warmth. What is it?” She felt herself smile. 

    “Does it feel like a soft but big light inside of you? Somethin that takes over your being and leaves you unexplainably calm?” He nodded. 

    “Yes. What is it?” She sat up and pressed her forehead on his shoulder. 

    “That’s the peace of God Roto.” 

    “The…peace of…God?” 

    “Mmhm.” 

    “Where does it come from?” She nibbled on her lips for a bit before answering, 

    “To be honest… it’s somethin I think you can only experience once you have a relationship with His son Christ Jesus. It’s one of them unexplainable things. It feels wonderful don’t it?”He smiled and pulled her gently against him in a hug. 

    “There are so many questions I have… but… more than anything, I’m blessed to feel this peace with you.” He sighed against her curls. She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent. 

    “Me too.”

    

****** 

    The air was suddenly much cooler and she was immediately relieved. It was now mid August and still summery in conditions. The trees provided such shady and solace, the sunlight streaming through. She stepped out of the car and breathed in the clear air. She heard another car door close and smiled as he came around the car and stretched. 

    “I’m ready to eat.” He said with a pout, glancing at her out of one eye. She snort. 

    “I’m sure. You could eat the whole place down.” 

    “Ah, you too!” She giggled and poked his chest. 

    “Let’s go fore you start howlin like them wolves somewhere out here.” They headed toward the small diner across the street from their rented cabin. All the while, memories kept running through her mind bringing a smile to her face. 

 

******* 

    The rain poured outside and it pitter pattered as it hit the ground. She had just gotten her pajamas on when she heard a knock at the door. Scrunching her eyebrows together, she scurried to the front door and opened it to find Hiroto standing there in his business suit, drenched from head to toe. 

    “Hiroto?”

    “Can I come in?” She stepped aside and opened the door wider. 

    “Please.” He stepped in and took off his shoes. She lightly gripped her neck as she watched him step into her kitchen. 

    “Um… may I ask why you’re dripping wet?” He sighed but all too soon sneezed, his nose turning red. 

    “I’m sorry…I just… I didn’t know where else to go.” She nibbled on her lip. 

    “First, let’s get you outta that suit. I don’t have too many clothes that’ll fit you.” He smiled. 

    “Thank you.” She led him back to her bathroom and gave him a towel.

    After a short while, he emerged in some of her extra baggy sweatpants. He had a small towel around his neck and gently fluffed his wet hair. She cleared her throat. None of her shirts would fit him so… 

    “I’m sorry I don’t have much else on…” She waved it off. 

    “You’re fine. Um.. come sit.” He came to sit on the floor in front of her. 

    “What’s up?” He sighed and gently placed his hand on top of his towel covered head. 

    “Everything is driving me crazy lately. The demands of my job are too much.”

    “Aww…Roto…” 

    “Your place is the only place I feel at peace… I didn’t think being alone would be too helpful.” 

    “Is that girl you came with playin a role in any of this?” He didn’t answer. She pursed her lips. Hm.

    “I’ll take that as a yes.” 

    “It’s complicated.” 

    “Even so, you’re still with her.”

    “Not exclusively.” 

    “Then how?” 

    “Rae-”

    “I wanna know.” 

    “I don’t think we should talk about that right now…” She exhaled through her nostrils and sat back on the couch. 

    “You goin through all these changes. The question was simple. Are you still with her or not?” There was a pause before he answered. 

    “Yes.” 

    “…Okay then…Yes.” She sighed and slowly stood up. 

    “Rae…”

    “What? I’m cool.” He watched her go to stand at the sink. She gripped the edge. 

    “You’re upset.”

    “I have no reason to be upset…” 

    “She doesn’t mean anything to me.”

    “You just said you was with her so…. I’m confused..”

    “I haven’t told her that it’s over as of yet.” 

    “And why is that?” She felt arms come around her shoulders. 

    “I’m…I’m not entirely sure.” 

    “She makin you scared to talk to her?”

      “She’s not making me anything but stressed.”

    “Well whose fault is that? You the one still not sayin anything.” He sighed against her. 

    “You’re right.” She was quiet for a little while biting her lips.  

    “So I’m still on the fence about this. You with chick but you not with chick.” She felt his lips press against the back of her neck. 

    “You’re cute when you’re jealous Rae.” She pursed her lips. 

    “I am not jealous.”    

    “Your reaction says otherwise.” She sucked her teeth. 

    “Don’t flatter yourself homie. Explain yourself.” 

    “I haven’t been in a relationship with that woman in over ten years. The reason why you already know.” Well then…The breath that whooshed out of her was loud enough that he heard and laughed softly against her skin. 

    “Relieved?”He chuckled and slowly let her go. She turned and crossed her arms. 

    “Shut up. If all this is the case, why you lettin her drive you up a wall?” He put his hands in his pockets and stepped away from her a bit. 

    “…”

    “Silence…” He licked his lips. 

    “I wanted to give her a chance to find out the truth concerning our families herself.” 

    “What did she do with that opportunity?” 

    “She didn’t take it.” 

    “Hm.” She walked by him and sat down on the couch. She pat the cushion next to her. He slowly sat down. 

    “It sounds like you feel responsible for her.” He looked at her. 

    “I…I suppose in a way I do feel responsible.” She pulled her feet underneath her bottom and turned towards him. 

    “Why?” 

    “She in a lot of ways was a victim of her family as was I. I wanted to help her. However, I made it clear from the beginning that I wasn’t in love with her. And now she’s chosen something I can’t do anything about.”

    “What has she chosen?”

    “She’s chosen to let the jealousy of my feelings for you consume her.” She looked down. 

    “While you were jealous of her…she has been jealous of you too.” Her eyes found his and she swallowed. 

    “That’s somethin.” 

    “She’s chosen her way. And I’ve chosen mine. Now, I simply want to have my hands washed from the situation.”

    “You should tell her that Hiroto. It ain’t nice to keep the woman waitin.” 

    “How much more can I tell her? I’ve spent ten years making it known. She refuses to see reason.” She nibbled on her lip. 

    “Maybe I should talk to her? Ya know woman to woman.” He snort. 

    “I’d be interested to see how that goes sweetheart.” She pursed her lips at his grin. 

    “Well you ain’t doin nothin about it. You over here in my space talkin bout you stressed.” To her surprise, he leaned over and pressed his cheek against her legs. 

    “I don’t know how to approach it.” Her fingers itched. 

    “Sometimes Roto you just gotta say it and not worry about the way it comes.” 

    “Mm.”

    “It don’t do nobody any good keepin it all to yourself and lettin it boil up. You gotta be direct and to the point.” He turned to bury his face into the cover. 

    “I’ve all of the above.”

    “Still nothin?”

    “Nothing.”

    “This heifer clingy huh?” He bust out laughing against her skin. 

    “Rae…did you just call her a cow?” She pursed her lips. 

    “Sure did. Shoo, seems like she can’t take a darn hint. You been tellin this girl this for ten years and she still tryna hold on?”  

    “Now you see my frustration.” 

    “Put me on the phone with her, I’ll make it nice and clear for her. She got you livin stressed. Ain’t nobody got no time for that. She gotta go Roto.” His lips formed a smile. 

    “Is this coming from a friend or a woman who is in love and slightly jealous?” She wanted to trace his broad shoulders with her fingertips but gently pressed them instead against the wet strands of his hair. 

    “…Is this a trick question?”

    “It’s a simple one.” She exhaled slowly. 

    “I’m saying it as both.”

    “Ah.” She pushed at his shoulder. 

    “Look dude…” He lifted suddenly and the gaze was deep. 

    “I’m grateful to have both giving me advice.” She felt her cheeks grew warm. Well…

    “You’re welcome.” He licked his lips and slowly leaned back away from her. 

    “I want to give you something.” He got up and went into his briefcase that sat out to dry by the door. He came back with a small narrow vertical envelope. 

    “Here.” She blinked at it as it rested in his hand.

    “What is it?”

    “Take it.” She slowly reached out and took it. 

    “Promise me you won’t read it yet.”

    “Ookay…um…sure.” 

******** 

    That same envelope was currently pressed against her chest. She glanced towards the bathroom where Roto was taking a shower. She had been literally prying her fingers off of it the entire time he had been in there. She had promised him she wouldn’t read it yet. But when was that yet gon come? She forced herself to lay it flat against her things and with a heavy sigh began to prepare herself for her bathroom turn. 

    It had been a couple days since he had brought her to Hocking Hills, a beautiful hiking spot. She’d never traveled to Ohio before but she could see why he insisted on coming back. It was lush greenery, naturally carved mountains and rock and a plethora of fresh water falls aplenty. When he had asked her to come with him, she had been a bit nervous. The two of them… together… alone… in one big ol cabin. But by the grace of God, the Holy Spirit and maturity they both had kept their hormones in check. Smiling proudly, she felt her eyebrow twitch as she glanced at the letter. Why did she feel like some secret was all over the paper inside? It was a typical Japanese letter envelope so she knew it was a letter. What did it say she wondered? 

    The door opened and Roto stepped out in some comfortable clothes. With a smile, he nodded his head towards the bathroom. 

    “All yours.” She swallowed with a tight smile. Ask him about the letter…. 

    “Uh… Roto?” 

    “Hm?” He asked stepping into the main room, drying his wet hair with a small white towel. 

    “About that letter you gave me…” 

    “Mmhm…” She blinked and watched him as he came to his suitcase. He wasn’t fazed. Like he knew she hadn’t read it. Pursing her lips, she spoke. 

    “When is that yet gon come?” He chuckled. 

    “You want to read it so badly don’t you?” He asked, looking up at her. 

    “What do you think?” She grit out in between her teeth. He got up and slowly ruffled her curls. 

    “You can read it Rae. Feel free.” 

    “Mm.” 

    “It’s the right time to read it.” 

    “Oh, is it?” 

    “Yeah. Enjoy.” He said, leaving her in the room. She glanced at it and nibbled her lips. Okay after she showered…. then… then she would. Grabbing her towel and toiletries, she went into the bathroom. 

 

******* 

 

    The early sunlight streamed in through the bright and airy windows making her smile. She sighed as he came to the front door and stood up. They were going to go on their first hike of their excursion this morning. 

    “Ready?” 

    “Ready.”  They headed out and drove over to the hiking area not too far from their cabin. As he put the car in park, he looked over at her as she put some lip balm on her lips. 

    “Rae?” 

    “Hm?” 

    “Thank you for coming with me.” She closed the small mirror in the visor and blushed, a small smile on her face. 

    “No problem.” 

    “Are you hungry? Thirsty? We’ll probably be out here for quite a few hours.” 

    “While you were sleep, I made some lunch for us.” He blinked. 

    “You did?” 

    “Yeah. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, granola, jerky you name it.” 

    “Wow. Ah, thanks!” 

    “Couldn’t have us starve outchea.” He grinned. 

    “I’ve brought a lot of water and gatorade for us so we don’t dehydrate.” He spoke before slowly opening the door. 

    “Okay sounds good.” She balled her lips once more and got out of the car. 

    “Let’s drink some water before we start.” He said, handing her a bottle. 

    “Okay.” Once done, he grabbed their lunches and water put in a backpack and put it over his shoulders. 

    “Is it too heavy?”

    “It’s okay. Come on. Let’s go.” As they started to walk towards the trail known as Old Man’s Cave, the sun broke through the morning clouds and shined brightly. Excitement traveled through her and she took a deep breath of the air. Let’s go.

 

****** 

 

    Her legs burned as she trekked up the trail, sweat dripping from her forehead. The sun by now was blazing bright and hot but down where they were it was cool and shady. 

To the love of my life, Ebere Marshall:

    She took in the deep crisp air and closed her eyes as she came to stop, taking in the swirling green of the trees.

There is so much I can say about you… 

    “Rae?”

    “Yeah?”

    “Are you all right?” 

    “Yeah.” 

 We’ve been through quite a lot haven’t we? But through it all, we were able to meet. Through it all, I was able to fall in love with you. You gave me a glimpse of who you saw me to be… underneath all of the ugly scarring. For that, I can’t thank you enough.

    She opened her eyes and set them on the man in front of her, his expression full of concern. He reached up and pushed his hair which had grown wet away from his face. His forehead shone with perspiration. 

I am deeply sorry that I hurt you Rae. I wasn’t ready to fully love you like you deserve. We’ve both made many mistakes throughout our knowing each other. A lot of those mistakes were made out of pain. I was hurting. You were hurting. We needed to be apart. But now, I think that it’s time that the love between us heals us both completely. 

    “You look all worried.” She mused a smile on her face. He snort as he opened his bottle and took a nice long swig of his water before handing it to her. Looking down, she saw that hers was all gone. 

    “You need to drink something sweetheart.” She nodded and took his bottle and gently pressed it against her lips. 

I know somewhere in the back of your mind you wonder…will I hurt you again? While I can’t promise that we won’t fight or disagree about things, I can give you my word that I shall never hurt you again to the degree I did before. I’ve learned my lesson and I’m not willing to make another mistake as grave as that one. Give me a chance to make things right. Let’s work through it together. Let’s build something new.

    She drank as much as she could before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She slowly approached him and pressed the bottle into his chest, a smile on her face. 

    “Thanks.” His cheeks grew red but he cleared his throat and nodded. 

    “You’re welcome.” 

    “It feels good down here don’t it?” She asked, looking away from him. She could feel his eyes staring at her. 

    “Hm.” 

    “Roto?”

    “Hm.” 

    “Why don’t we try something else? Go a little higher up?”

    “How high?” She pointed to a trail a little ways up above their head, the forms of people shuffling in and out of the trees visible. 

    “That high.” Finally he turned his eyes from her up to where her finger pointed. 

    “Feeling adventurous are we?” He said with a grin. 

    “I think we can do it. Don’t you?” 

    “Mm.” She watched as he put his bottle away and to his surprise, she slowly slid her fingers through his. 

    “Let’s go.” His expression was tender. 

    “All right.” 

I don’t think I will fully be able to express just what you mean to me. Words and I are still getting used to one another. 

    His fingers gripped hers tighter as they ascended up the mountain and he glanced back at her along the way. 

    “I’m fine Roto. Keep goin.”

    “Okay.”  

I don’t know how you feel… about this. About us. But I believe in you Rae. I believe in us. 

    The shade of the trees was almost playful in the way it would hide and reappear. Sometimes, the sun would hit them and blind them with light. And then as they made their way further along the path, it would come out from the tree and clothe them with relief and coolness. 

With that belief, when I return to New York…I will pursue you full-heartedly. 

    The smell of water hit her nose and she pulled her hand away from his. 

    “Roto you see any water?”  He went up ahead as they were approaching a bend in the trail. 

    “Yes. Come look.” She ran up beside him and as the wind picked up, she gently pressed her body against his. Below them, water stretched back as far as the eye could see and the shades of deep to light blue mesmerized her. 

    “It’s beautiful.” 

I am not sure how long you need until you are ready to let me back into your heart. 

    She looked up into his eyes and felt her heart beat faster. 

    “Are you ready to continue?” Mouth dry, she smiled and nodded. 

But, you are the only woman I want. So, if need be… I will wait. 

    “What time is it?” She asked, having gone up a bit ahead of him. He looked down at his watch. 

    “It’s 2:33 pm.” 

    “Dag. We been out here all day.”

    “I knew we would be.”

    “It’s so magical up here Roto. It feels like we’re on top of the world.” He laughed gently as he glanced up at her, who walked backwards ahead of him. 

    “It does doesn’t it?”  She tilt her head back and let the lukewarm breeze drift across her neck. 

    “Yeah. I wanna see what else is up here…”

    “Rae… wait for me.”

    “Do you think we’re the only ones up here now? It’s kinda quiet.”

    “Mm. Maybe.” 

If I have you then I have everything. 

    “Thank you for bringing me with you Roto. It means a lot that you would invite me.” He was making his way closer and closer to her and she grinned, purposely keeping her distance.         “Don’t thank me. It’s something I wanted to share with you.” Something special. 

For now, this letter shall be my affirmation.

She continued to step back, further and further, the smell of the water growing closer and closer. The wind drifted by her and she smiled. She wanted to stay up here forever. With him. 

 Let’s put all of our fears, worries and hurts behind us. I’m ready when you are. 

    “Rae…be careful.” 

    P.S: 

    “Yeah yeah. I ain’t gon go nowhere.” 

    Don’t feel as though you have to carry the world on your shoulders…You’re not alone anymore. 

    Her feet kept going backwards as he kept forward. Would he catch her? 

    “You’re doing this on purpose Rae.” 

    “I want you to catch me.” He frowned. 

    “That won’t be hard to do I assure you.” 

When you get tired, I’ll carry you. When you get frustrated, I’ll listen. 

    She giggled and stepped backwards once more before feeling her legs grow wobbly. Sooner than she had liked, he dashed in front of her, his arms tightly around her waist. She turned to look down and her eyes grew wide.They were standing on the edge of the trail. Nothing was below but rock and water. 

 When you need someone to comfort you, I’ll wrap my arms around you. I’ll defend and protect you.

    “You are playing entirely too much.” He said, his voice chastising.  

    “S-sorry.” He sighed. 

    “Step gingerly towards me.” He took his hands off of her waist and reached up to grip her hands. 

I’ll cherish you all the days of my life and provide the best way I can. 

    As she began to take a step, she felt the ground suddenly crumble beneath her and she screamed as gravity pulled her down. She heard him grunt as he was pulled forward and hit the ground. She gripped his hands, her body dangling off of the side of the trail. 

    “Oh my God…. Hiroto!” He tightened his jaw and inhaled sharply through his nostrils as he tried to grab more of her. 

    “It’ll be okay. Just breathe. Try to see if you can touch anything with your feet.” 

    “It’s nothin but air.” 

    “That’s all right. I’m going to pull you up.” He quickly glanced behind him and brought his eyes back to hers. 

    “Move your hands up my arms slowly.”

    “Hiroto…”

    “Come on.”

    “I’ll pull you down.” 

    “Rae. Just do what I’m asking. Please.” She licked her lips and squeezed her eyes shut tight. 

    “I’m scared to move my hands…”

    “Nice and slow.” She felt a rush of nausea hit her in the stomach and swallowed. She slowly took her hand off of his and yelped as her body swung to the side. She reached up and tightly grasped his forearm. Taking a deep breath, she moved her other hand up to grasp his lower wrist. He tightly held on to her. 

    “Okay. Good.” She felt tears come to her eyes. The fact that she couldn’t feel anything underneath her feet was frightening her. She knew they were considerably elevated and the only thing she could see in her mind was the drop… the fall. 

If you’ll let me. 

    “Hiroto…my fingers gettin tired.” She felt guilt in the pit of her stomach. Her childish playing had gotten them in this mess. His face was focused but she could see the beads of sweat on his forehead and hairline, caused she was sure by him trying to hold her up. 

    “Just hold on. I won’t let you fall.”

    “Roto…”

    “Let me pull you up. Okay?” His calm tone was firm. But no matter how much he tried, she didn’t get any higher than where she was. Five more minutes in, his arms were shaking with fatigue but he held on to her wrists. It hurt her to see him struggling.

    “Roto…. I’m gon fall…” She took a breath and closed her eyes. She would just do her best…. and swim…

    “I won’t let you go Rae.”

    “You’re tired. You can’t hold me forever.”

    “Yes I can.” 

    “No you-” She shut her mouth as he suddenly started to move his body closer to hers.

    “What are you doing?” 

    “If you go into the water I go into the water too.”

    “Don’t…don’t be stupid!! Now is not the time for some Titanic stuff!” 

    “You’re not hearing me Rae. I’m not letting you go. We’re going together.” Suddenly, tears fell down her cheeks and she gripped his hands as if to say thank you.

    “Hiroto-” Gravity pulled her body down in the split of a second, leaving her no time to finish her sentence. As she began to fall, she pulled his body down with her and the look on his face was calm. Unafraid. The wind grew thin and they fell faster than the speed of light it seemed. She could do nothing but hold on to him, the calmness all over him perplexing her. How was he so calm when they were falling into the earth?  As the water grew closer and closer she felt herself begin to panic.

    “HIROTO!!” 

    “DON’T LET GO!”  Crisp and sharp, the water crashed into them and they dove underneath the waves. She could see him in a blurry haze and tried to pull him closer. But the current was strong… too strong. Her fingers were ripped away from his and she felt the current pull her further and further away from him. NO! A wave of fear shot through her and she shut her eyes tight trying not to inhale. Soon, fatigue got the best of her and blackness covered her. Before it closed around her, she remembered thinking… I love you….Roto…


End Notes:

 

A/N: Hey beloveds!! It's been a while!!! Y'all so much has happened and through it all I am still pushing and pressing by the Grace of God!!! I wrote this in the midst of workload so if it feels different or out of place pardon me! I hope that it doesn't! :) How have you been??? Hangin in there? :D Prayers for you reader! Prayers that you make it through whatever you goin through!! :) Now, to the chapter! 

Finally Rae and Roto are backkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!! I had this scene in my head for a while and couldn't wait to get here haha. :) Of course Rae's playin got them in trouble but I think it's cute that even still, they were together! It's beautiful to see Rae so carefree with Roto once again to where she can freely play and be her! :D Their friendship has blossomed and grew into something special... and unique from what it was before I think. A new level of closeness and bond! :) I love the flashbacks haha and I ask you guys this: what y'all think gon happen next chapter??? I tried to keep it realistic, something I think could happen given a weak patch of ground lol. 

Welp, I gotta go beloveds but please comment and leave your thoughts! I love you guys! Take care!!!  God bless! Till next time, 

Sunray bright and yellow, high in the sky! 

Be set free by the renewing of your mind! 

 

D&L~ <3 

Promise by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

Soundtrack: Lake by the Ocean-Maxwell 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The room was dark, the shades drawn. Faintly, the birds chirped. Quiet. No sound. Suddenly, she jolted awake. She felt cool air and shivered, glancing down. At the sight of her naked flesh, her eyes began to water. Why was she naked? Where…where was she? She lifted thin sheets in her hands and covered herself. Memories, once distant became fresh now. She lifted a shaky hand to her forehead. Why couldn’t she remember? Her gaze drifted towards the door as voices grew nearer. A slice of fear shot through her and she hit the pillows, growing still. Slowly, the door opened and two male voices entered into the room. 

 

    “Still sleeping. She’s precious isn’t she?” Fingers unknown to her slid across her cheek. 

 

    “She’s beautiful.” Her heart beat a million miles a second.         

 

    “Are you satisfied?” 

 

    “Just as I wanted.” 

 

    “Now, she’ll be yours.”

 

    “Yeah.” 

 

    “Soon she’ll be waking up so why don’t we go get breakfast ready?”

 

    “Sounds good.” The fingers slid away from her face and soon the door closed.  She got up and ripped the sheets from the bed, trying to cover every inch of skin she could. Tears, big and hot slipped down her cheeks and she bit her lip. She had to get out of here…before those men came back. Softly, she pulled the curtains back and the bright color of the world shocked her. A large manicured garden. Blue sky and beautiful white clouds. Below the trickling of sparkling water from a decorated fountain met the sun’s rays. She squinted at the light and swallowed. 

 

    “What is this? What am I doing here?” She whispered to herself as she glanced back into the dimly lit room. Fragments started to piece together suddenly and all she knew was that the yearning she suddenly felt in her spirit was for…

 

    “Good morning.” She grew still before turning her eyes. They grew wide as they set their vision on the man. 

 

    “P…Peter…” He smiled. 

 

    “Let’s get you all ready for breakfast.” 

 

 

 

*********

 

    “Mr. Iwase, a Ms. Amee Marshall is here to see you.” He blinked, in the middle of reading some business documents. 

 

    “Is that so?”

 

    “Yes sir.” He pushed his chair back from the desk. 

 

    “I shall be there shortly.” 

 

    “Of course sir.” The door closed gently. He reached up to remove his glasses. What was Rae’s sister doing here? He slowly made his way to the double doors. 

 

    In the sitting room, she sat in a chair waiting. Upon seeing her, he smiled much to the shock of his secretary. 

 

    “Good morning.” She smiled though it didn’t reach her eyes. 

 

    “Morning.” 

 

    “Would you like to come into my office?”

 

    “Sure.” The secretary politely moved to the side as he led her into his office. Once the doors were closed, he turned to face her with a friendly smile. 

 

    “Hiroto…” 

 

    “Hm?” 

 

    “Do you know where my sister is?” His eyebrows furled. 

 

    “She called me last night to let me know she wouldn’t be making it to work today due to illness. I was going to go see her when I get off.” Amee looked up at him. 

 

    “You… you won’t find her.” The smile slid off of his face and soon it grew serious. 

 

    “What do you mean?” 

 

    “I went to her house Hiroto. She’s not there. She’s not answering any of my phone calls or texts. And no one has seen her.” A feeling of dread rose in his stomach. 

 

    “That is very strange…” 

 

    “Yeah. You were the last person to see her so… I thought you would know.” 

 

    “Last night wasn’t out of the ordinary…I dropped her off at her home and later that night I got a call from her telling me that she had grown ill. I did think it a bit odd to be ill so suddenly but told her to rest. That was it.” Amee fidgeted, her fingers plucking her dress. 

 

    “We have to find her Hiroto. Something ain’t right about this. I just feel it.” He went around to the other side of the desk and grabbed his phone. Dialing her number, he paused when it clicked. 

 

    “Rae?” At that, Amee sat up, intently watching him. 

 

    “Rae, where are you?” The feeling of dread increased as he heard breathing in reply. 

 

    “Rae-”

 

    “She’s safe.” 

 

    “Who is this?” 

 

    “Don’t worry about that.”

 

    “What have you done with Rae?” The breathing increased until laugher rang in his ear. 

 

    “I’ve only brought her back to where she belongs.” The line disconnected before he could utter another word. 

 

    “What happened?” Amee asked, standing up. 

 

    “I believe I just spoke with one of her abductors.” 

 

    “Oh my God… Hiroto…” 

 

    “Let’s go.”

 

    “W-where we goin?”

 

    “Police.”  She got up and sniffed as they made their way out of the office. 

 

    “Ms. Ninao, there is an emergency that has come up. Unfortunately, I have to leave. Could you contact Daisuke?” 

 

    “Y-yes sir. Right away.” He grabbed Amee’s hand and swiftly led her to his car. Once inside, they shot on the freeway. 

 

******** 

 

    She felt nauseous. Layer upon layer of ruffles teased her thighs and her breath was restricted by the corset she had been forced into. 

 

    “My, you look beautiful.” She swallowed, her eyes growing angry as he came into the room. 

 

    “Antonio…” 

 

    “I didn’t want it to ever get this out of hand Rae. But you left me with no choice.” 

 

    “Bullshit.” 

 

    “I would have preferred to do this without force. But you weren’t listening.” 

 

    “You’re sick…how could you do this to me?!”

 

    “You drove me to this! I wouldn’t have had to do any of this if you had just remained in your position.” 

 

    “Stop it…”

 

    “I have you all to myself now. And this time Rae, I’m not sharing. I’ll show you that I’m worthy.” He got up and left her in the room alone. She tried to move her arms but they had grown tired from earlier attempts. Her clear consciousness was starting to blur. No…not…not again…The room began to spin and she leaned her head back as her eyes closed. 

 

 

 

********** 

 

    “I don’t understand. They just got home from a hiking trip gone wrong…. just shy of a week or two ago. She was just telling me she felt… that Hiroto and her were solid…everything was getting clearer.” He tightened his fists. The words both warmed and chilled his heart. 

 

    “Can you tell me what led up to this?” The police officer asked in a comforting tone. He licked his lips. 

 

    “Yes. About a couple days ago, she had shown up at my job unexpectedly. ” 

 

******* 

 

    “Mr. Iwase?” 

 

    “Yes?”

 

    “You have a visitor.” 

 

    “I’m not taking any visitors right now.”

 

    “A Ms. Marshall is here to see you.” He blinked. 

 

    “Is that so?”

 

    “Yes.” He took a deep breath. 

 

    “Let her know I am coming.” 

 

    “Yes sir.” The door closed gently. He stood up with a slight yawn. What was Rae doing here? Slowly, he made his way to the double doors. 

 

    There she was, sitting in the foyer, ankles crossed, hands folded in her lap. She looked beautiful. As he drew closer to her, he smiled much, which left his secretary gaping. 

 

    “To what do I owe this pleasure?” He said with a slight grin as she looked up at him. 

 

    “Hi.” 

 

    “Hi.” She stood up from her chair. 

 

    “I um…I wanted to come see you…well…w-where you worked I mean.” Before he could respond, his secretary swiftly excused herself out of the space. No doubt a million conclusions were running through her head. Nevertheless, he felt his cheeks grow warm. 

 

    “To see where I worked hm?” 

 

    “Yeah.” 

 

    “I think you had the first part right.” He grinned at her pursed lips. 

 

    “Welp now that I’ve seen you I guess I can go back to work.” He frowned. 

 

    “You left work to come here?”

 

    “Yeah.” 

 

    “Rae…”

 

    “What?”

 

    “Why?” She pouted and shrugged. 

 

    “Well…it’s lunch break. How much trouble could I get in?” He sighed. 

 

    “Let me get my wallet.” 

 

    “Um?”

 

    “We’re going to lunch.”

 

    “We are?” He smiled before turning his back towards her. 

 

    “One moment please.” He quickly entered his office and grabbed his wallet and keys. Coming to face her again, he sighed. 

 

    “Ready?” 

 

    “S-sure.”

 

 

 

************

 

    “Hiroto?” She looked up to see his gaze turned down at the menu he had in front of his face. 

 

    “Hm?” She looked away before her eyes roamed any further. 

 

    “Can I be honest?” 

 

    “Please.” She licked her lips. 

 

    “I missed you.” His eyes lifted from the menu and met hers. 

 

    “I um…I never been to your work place before so I wanted to come by. Did I interrupt anything?”

 

    “Not at all. Thankfully you came to rescue me from a boring day.” 

 

    “Business is boring?”

 

    “Some aspects are rather unenjoyable.” 

 

    “I see.” She watched as he smiled and set the menu down. Gently he reached across and softly gripped a finger or two of hers. 

 

    “I missed you too Rae. Thank you for coming to see me.” She blushed but cleared her throat. 

 

    “No problem. Your buildin is mad nice. You design it yourself?” 

 

    “Mm. The best architectural minds in Japan came along to help out.” 

 

    “Nice.” To her dismay, he let go of her fingers and sighed. 

 

    “Thank you.” She nodded and soon the waitress took their order. 

 

    “So, what have you been up to today?” He asked across from her, elbows comfortably on the table. 

 

    “Dealing with a man child unfortunately. Antonio driving everybody mad.”

 

    “Is that so?”

 

    “He hasn’t been the same… since… since the gala.”

 

    “Really…”

 

    “He been takin me out a lot lately…” His fingers which held the complimentary cup of water tightened. 

 

    “Out how?”

 

    “To more meetings. More connections to people I frankly could care less about. More invitations to more events…. it’s all giving me a headache.” 

 

    “Mm.” The cup was placed on the table. 

 

    “To be honest, I don’t think I can tolerate any more of him.” He was quiet as he listened. 

 

    “My job has turned into a socialite endeavor and I feel like he has lost the purpose of Affinity…the mission he originally set out on. He’s let his jealousy for you get the best of him.” 

 

    “I agree.”

 

    “Before you it was Kwasame. Before him it was men he thought were looking sideways at me. He always made sure to keep me on lock and key…away from prying eyes… always in my cubicle.” 

 

    “That sounds like abuse.” He spoke in a hard tone, calm and cool with some bite. 

 

    “It…it does don’t it?” He was quiet. 

 

    “I can’t agree with anything he’s doing with Affinity lately. I don’t like the man he’s turned into. Today I left without notifying him or anybody. Not even Shelley. After what happened this morning… I just had to find you… had to find somewhere I could go to clear my head.” 

 

    “What did he do?” Clear disdain was written over his face. She swallowed. 

 

    “If I tell you, you have to promise not to cut up.” He inhaled through his nostrils. 

 

    “We’ll see what happens after you tell me.” 

 

    “He…he grabbed me and kissed me in front of some of the staff.” His jaw grew tight. 

 

    “At first I was in his office and he tried it then but I left. Come into the hive and he’s tailin me. Next thing I know he yanks me back and plants one on me. I tried to push him off but he was not letting go. Another employee had to pull him away from me.” 

 

    “He’s officially lost his mind.” He spoke up, frown so deep you could swim in it. 

 

    “I know. In all my years he has never done that. It unnerved me.” 

 

    “It’s time for you to get out of there Rae.” She sighed and pressed her forehead into the palms of her hands. 

 

    “I shoulda left a long time ago. We at one time were such good friends…. such compatible business partners.  But…I can’t do it anymore.” 

 

    “It’s been going on far too long. Any more of this and you’ll have a sexual harassment case.” 

 

    “Yeah I know.” 

 

    “Rae,” She lifted her eyes to his. 

 

    “You deserve to be in a place where not only is your work valued, but your opinions, intellect and personal and private space.” 

 

    “Where can I find a place like that?” He gripped his fingers together. 

 

    “Come work with me.” Her jaw dropped and to her disbelief he calmly took another sip of his water. 

 

    “Um…d-did I hear you right?”

 

    “You did.” 

 

    “Waaait wait wait wait wait. You want me to come work for YOU?” 

 

    “With me.” 

 

    “I..I can’t just… you are Affinity’s opponent. What I look like comin to work for you when y’all as good as sparrin?”

 

    “You deserve a place to be where you are comfortable and able to do work that you agree with Rae. I would not offer this to you unless I truly believed in you and your talents.” 

 

    “You sure it doesn’t have to do anything with the fact that you have a thing for me?” 

 

    “I want you to be happy in your work place and at my company I can see you growing and blossoming.”

 

    “Hm….” The waitress came to place their food on the table. 

 

    “You’re not supposed to mix business with pleasure Hiroto. You of all people know that.” He smiled softly. 

 

    “I’ve learned to balance.”

 

    “I’m sure you have.” She quipped sharply, a deep purse on her mouth.

 

    “At the end of the day the decision is yours Rae. Wherever you choose to go I will support you. All I want is for you to be appreciated. Antonio Rossi is not a man who was ever capable or worthy of you…both as an employee or a woman.” Her tongue grew dry but as she watched him begin to eat she felt the tension leave her chest. She definitely had some thinking to do. 

 

 

 

********* 

 

    The police officer wrote down his words and paused. 

 

    “So let me get this straight. She came to your job and told you that her boss Antonio Rossi harassed her inappropriately and that she was leaving.”

 

    “That’s correct.”

 

    “Continue.” He took a breath and looked at the man directly. 

 

    “After lunch, I took her back to my company Shoutoii.” 

 

 

 

**********

 

    He sighed as he made a right turn and soon came to a red light. Glancing over, he found Rae’s eyes on him. 

 

    “Is something wrong?” She didn’t say anything, just sighed. 

 

    “You look angry.” 

 

    “Should I not be?” 

 

    “It’s justified…” 

 

    “The whole situation bothers me.” 

 

    “Yeah… that’s why I had to come find you.” 

 

    “I’m glad you did.” The drive resumed in silence. 

 

    “Roto?” 

 

    “Hm?” 

 

    “Thank you for not losing it.” He nodded though with a frown. 

 

    “Rossi isn’t worth it.”

 

    “He sho ain’t.” 

 

    “Shall I take you back to Affinity?” She bit her lips and turned to look out of the window. 

 

    “Actually…could I stay with you? I cannot face him right now.” His fingers tightened on the stirring wheel. 

 

    “Sure sweetheart.” She exhaled greatly. 

 

    “Thank you.” 

 

    “It’s no problem.” Quietly, they continued on back to his office.

 

 

 

**********

 

    “The next day Rae went to confront Rossi. I accompanied her there. I’m glad I did.” 

 

    “What happened?” 

 

    “She marched into his office fearless and was ready to make her point known. Rossi was not pleased.” 

 

    **********

 

 

 

    “Where were you?” She held her head high and looked straight ahead at Antonio who sat at his desk fingers steepled. It had taken some deep breaths but she had come back into work the following day and was determined to hold her ground. At the first sighting of her, she was called to his office like some kid caught doing something wrong.

 

    “Considering the inappropriate action by you yesterday I needed some air.”

 

    “Inappropriate…you call one little kiss inappropriate?”

 

    “In front of your whole staff. Unwarranted and unwanted by me.” He actually had the nerve to sit there and not look guilty. 

 

    “As for Iwase? You clearly didn’t object to him touching you at the gala that night.” 

 

    “Who I let touch me is my business.”

 

    “He doesn’t deserve it.” She scoffed loudly. 

 

    “And you do?” He was quiet, just looking at his hands. 

 

    “Look at you. I don’t recognize you any more. None of us here do.” 

 

     “I’m still the same.”

 

    “No…you’re not. I don’t know who you are anymore.” 

 

    “I could say the same about you.”

 

    “Listen I’ve decided to leave Affinity.” He slammed his hands down on his desk and stood up. 

 

    “You wouldn’t dare!” She pursed her lips. 

 

    “You clearly have lost your vision and your right mind. I refuse to be humiliated and damn near assaulted in front of all of my peers. You not being able to control yourself is not my problem. But I darn sure will take my work somewhere where I will be valued and respected.” He flared his nostrils. 

 

    “You’ve let some foreign pretty boy disturb what we had going Rae.” 

 

    “Get outta here with that. Look, it hurts me to leave but… I have to. For me and for you.” She took a deep breath and turned her back to him. 

 

    “Good bye Antonio.” She started to walk away. Arms yanked her back. 

 

    “Rae, think about what you’re saying….” 

 

    “Let me go Antonio! I have thought about it.” 

 

    “No!” The door to his office opened and Hiroto entered, hands in his pockets, expression cool. Antonio froze, hands gripping her arm. 

 

    “Iwase…”

 

    “I believe she told you to let her go.” 

 

    “What are you doing here?” 

 

    “I thought it appropriate to accompany her just for safe measure.” 

 

    “You never could mind your business.” 

 

    “Anything concerning Rae is my business.” Antonio’s hands shrank back from her person and he looked disgusted. 

 

    “I figure next you will tell me she is working for you now.” 

 

    “You catch on quickly Rossi.” The veins in Antonio’s forehead grew large. 

 

    “My, Rae you do travel well don’t you?” 

 

    “Think whatever you want Antonio. It doesn’t matter anymore.” Hiroto came to stand next to her. 

 

    “I’ve done nothing but be a confidant and a trusted and reliable employee to you for ten years. I’ve wiped both your behind and your tears in times you’ve seemed to have forgotten. This is where I put my foot down. The day you touched me without my permission was the day you lost both a friend and employee.” She cleared her throat. 

 

    “Go back to the drawing board. Get yourself together before Affinity goes under.” He stood there shaking, his face and neck crimson. 

 

    “This is inexcusable.”

 

    “A direct consequence to your actions. If you treated her less like property and more like a valued part of your company this would not have happened.”

 

    “Shut the hell up Iwase. Who the hell are you to come here and lecture me?” 

 

    “Enough! I quit. Thank you for ten years but it’s time to move on. I wish you the best Mr. Rossi.” She began to walk out of the office and without another glance at him, Hiroto began to accompany her. As they came into the hive, all eyes were on them. 

 

    “Rae? Where you goin?”

 

    “It’s time I head out guys.”

 

    “NO…WHAT DO YOU MEAN…” Shelley. Tears suddenly welled up in her eyes. 

 

    “Shells…I can’t do this anymore. He’s used our friendship to coerce me into staying far longer than I should have. With what happened yesterday that was the last straw. He had no right to do that.” Shelley nodded. 

 

    “That was truly out of his character…I don’t know what’s gotten into him.” She sighed. 

 

    “It doesn’t matter anymore anyway. I’m leaving.” Shelley’s eyes watered again and she pulled her into a soft hug.

 

    “Rossi will regret this. You’re one of the best employees he has ever had. You practically built Affinity up with him.” 

 

    “And look what happened…” 

 

    “I don’t want you to go.” 

 

    “If I didn’t have another choice I would stay.” 

 

    “You have to do what is best for you Rae…” She sighed against her. 

 

    “I thought we were going to climb the corporate ladder together…”

 

    “We still can.”

 

    “I’m gonna miss you Rae…”  

 

    “It’ll be fine okay?” 

 

    “O-Okay.” She let go of Shelley with a watery smile. 

 

    “Never let anyone devalue you Shells.”

 

    “Y-You g-got it Rae…” 

 

    “Take care Ms. Johnson.” 

 

    “Bye Mr. Iwase.” 

 

    “Bye Shells.”

 

    “B-bye…” 

 

 

 

*********

 

    “He had his hands on her?”

 

    “He was gripping her yes.”

 

    “I’m glad you went with her Hiroto.” Amee said with a shaky voice. 

 

    “I had to go with her. I’ve never once trusted him.” 

 

    “So, she left with you and started working for you.” The police officer reiterated. 

 

    “Yes.” 

 

    “What happened next?” He ran fingers through his hair, his hands shaking. 

 

    “That night I took her home. And as I did I noticed something.” 

 

 

 

************ 

 

    At night, when Rae and him closed up shop and he would drive her home, there was a car that would be sitting across the street. He’d never before seen this car before but for the past couple of days, it had been posted up across the street. Not in someone’s driveway or even remotely close to one. 

 

    “Rae?” 

 

    “Yeah?” She called behind her as she went to put the key in the door to unlock it. 

 

    “Have you noticed something strange lately?” The door opened and she stepped inside. 

 

    “Somethin strange?” 

 

    “Yes.” He replied as he closed her door. 

 

    “No… why?” He went to her window and glanced outside. The car, dark in color stood outside, headlights off. 

 

    “There’s a car here that is across the street from your house.” 

 

    “Okay…??” He turned to see her kicking off her shoes and slowly began to unzip her dress. He quickly shifted his gaze back to the car. 

 

    “Well… it’s been sitting in the same spot for days now.” 

 

    “Roto…ooh it feel weird callin you Mr. Iwase all day only to go back to Roto…” She retorted as she slipped into her bedroom. He came to sit on her couch and loosened his tie. Soon she came back out in shorts and a t-shirt, her hair pulled back in a puff. 

 

    “Well, if it makes you more comfortable, I can be Mr. Iwase when you get home too.” He felt a slap come to the back of his head. 

 

    “Ah…”

 

    “Ah nothin. You being nasty. Lord have mercy.” He chuckled cheekily and sighed, rubbing the back of his head. She smirked through her pursed lips and playfully pushed his forehead. 

 

    “As I was saying, maybe it’s somebody relative or somethin. We can’t just go look in people’s cars.” 

 

    “What if it is Rossi?” She stopped her playful poking. 

 

    “Roto…” He turned toward her. 

 

    “I’m serious. What if it is him?” 

 

    “Why would you think it’s him?” 

 

    “Need I list the reasons for you?” 

 

    “Okay, okay I get your point.” 

 

    “Antonio Rossi is not a man to be taken lightly Rae. He’s a powerful man with a lot of connections. I know plenty of men like him.”

 

    “Really?”

 

    “I also know what they can do.”

 

    “Okay now you startin to worry me.”

 

    “I’m just being realistic sweetheart.” 

 

    “You really think it’s Antonio out there?” 

 

    “I wouldn’t put anything past him.” 

 

    “So what do I do?” 

 

    “It’s time you start learning how to defend yourself.” She blinked. 

 

    “Ookay.” 

 

    “If you’re up for it, we can start during our free time on the weekends.” 

 

    “Wait…wait…” She got up and ran fingers through her puff. 

 

    “If that man really has the nerve to be outside my house, I know somethin.” 

 

    “If he comes to you while I am not here… can you honestly say that you will be able to protect yourself?” That shut her up.

 

    “You’re right. As of right now I don’t stand any chance against him.” 

 

    “By the time I’m done you will.” She smiled and pressed her face against his shoulder. 

 

    “Thank you Roto.” 

 

    “You’re welcome.” 

 

*********** 

 

    He buried his head in his hands. 

 

    “The next day was the last time I saw her…” The policeman stacked the paper pad and laid it on the desk.

 

    “Thank you for your cooperation Mr. Iwase. We’ll take the information you’ve given us and draw it into a report.”

 

    “Mr. Iwase go home and try to get a rest. Ms. Marshall, I’ll ask you to come with me to file a missing persons report.” They both stood up.  

 

    “Amee.” She turned to look at him. Her eyes were puffy, tears streaming down her cheeks. He gently cupped her cheek. 

 

    “Call me when you get home okay?” She nodded, tears wetting his hand. 

 

    “Hiroto I’m scared. What… what if…what if something happens to her?” 

 

    “Don’t think like that right now. We’ll be strong for her okay?” 

 

    “Y-yeah…S-she’ll come back.” 

 

    “You know she will.” 

 

    “Okay…okay. I’ll…I’ll call you later.” 

 

    “Okay.” He let his hand slide away and gave her a friendly smile. But as he walked to his car, he felt his heart sink in his chest. He made Rae a promise and he would keep it. No matter what.

End Notes:

** IMPORTANT READ IMPORTANT READ!** 

 

A/N(1): Hi guys! So if you haven't heard, last night the site crashed for over an hour and much to my and a lot of other authors' dismay, updates, chapters and reviews were lost. While not much can be done about the reviews sadly, I am moreso blessed that I saved my work to be able to upload again. To God be the Glory! At first y'all I was upset because not only pageviews but reviews and readcount was all screwed up but you know what, God does not make mistakes! There was a reason this happened and I know that things will continue to progress and go forward with Transcendence. So it doesn't matter. Thank you for all of you for enduring this process with me and letting me know my chapters were erased!! Now, unto the saved original authors note! <3 ** 

 

A/N: Woo y'all! It got really real lol. I wanted to update this Sunday on my birthday but decided to wait lol. Pause: THANK YOU TO ALL WHO WISHED ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY! It meant so much to me!!! <3 <3 Okay, so this will be one of a double update in celebration of my turning 23! <3 To God be the Glory! I cannot even express how good He is or how grateful I am to have been blessed to live another year!! Okay so chapter: what are your thoughts? I love reading your comments as always so don't forget to leave one! <3 All I have to say about Antonio is that he needs to be hit and put in jail. Him and Peter both. What they have done to Rae is inconceivable and disgusting. All because of jealousy. UGHH. Anywhoo, thank you for reading :D <3 I hope you enjoy this and the next update! <3 God bless you! Till next time, 

 

Sunhalo17! 

 

P.S: Here is the man himself:

 

Peter Lugiano 

 

Dense Blue by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

**WARNING! GRAPHIC CONTENT AND LANGUAGE! TRIGGERING CONTENT!**

Soundtrack: Drowndeep Hula-Maxwell 

BONUS: Dense Blue(RahXephon Soundtrack) 

 


 

The room seemed as if it was spinning. She squeezed her eyes shut to stop the nauseating turning. She swallowed, feeling sick to her stomach. Drifting in and out of consciousness, she gripped the sides of the tub. She could feel the fluidity that covered her body. It seeped into her very pores, alerting her entire body with chills. She felt drunk. High. Like she was floating between this world and the next. Like life and death laid in her very next breath. How….how…did this happen…Hands crept underneath the water and touched her flesh. Inwardly she screamed. Begged. But all that came from her mouth was a soft groan. 

    “Let’s get you clean first.” The two voices alternated and she stopped being able to tell who was who. It all sounded the same. She groaned again, trying to move but the hands kept her still. How…did…this…happen?

    “Close your eyes sweetheart. It’ll be over soon.” And like that, her eyes fell back in her head and her eyelids fluttered closed.

*********

    In her dreams she remembered the happiness she had felt. Memories of Hiroto…her new position… it seemed like yesterday…or perhaps the day before…Hiroto had given her a seat next to him in meetings and business affairs. She had even started to receive assignments out of board room. It was a bit nerve wracking at first but she couldn’t help but smile. She remembered the smile…the big bright smile on her face…It had been so refreshing… a pace she hadn’t gotten at Affinity and it was one she appreciated. But then time sped up and Hiroto was telling her about a car…a car he kept seeing… who was in that car…

 

********** 

    A car pulled up further along the street and the headlights were turned off. Hands gripped the stirring wheel and eyes were focused on a man and woman. The woman laughed and the man… the man drew closer to her. Up the steps they went until the woman pressed her back against the door. It grew quiet before the door opened and soon the man stepped inside. Sweat slid down skin and blurred vision. Hands shook as a call was made. 

    “My, it’s quite late.” 

    “She’s decided to play a game I don’t think she’s ready for.” 

    “Has she found another man?”

    “The bastard.”

    “Ah, well after all I am not worried. Soon I’ll see her. I did promise her that much.” 

    “Remember our deal?”

    “Clear as day. Don’t worry. I’ll give you what you want on a silver platter.”

    “Good then.”

    “Just let me know how things go hm?”

    “Sure. I have to go now.”

    “Ta.” Wheels screeched as they burned against the pavement and soon the car was gone.

 

*********

    2:30 am. Something had jolted him awake and now he had a dreadful feeling in his stomach. He couldn’t stop thinking about Rae. For some reason, she wouldn’t leave his mind. He reached for his phone. He had to know if she was all right. He stayed still as he dialed. It rang for a while before the line clicked. As he was about to say something, he heard a man speak. 

    “I thought you would call again Hiroto.” His brows knitted. 

    “Who is this?” The man laughed. 

    “I’m Peter. Peter Lugiano.” He grew still and his chest grew cold. Lugiano….

    “What have you done with Rae?” The man sighed. 

    “I gave her a bath not too long ago and put her in some nice clothes. We were just about to go to sleep before you called.” He gripped the phone. 

    “You’re a sick bastard.” 

    “So I’ve been told.” 

    “You do realize you’ve given me your full name.” Lugiano laughed. 

    “The police work for me. Good luck with that.” 

    “Why have you done this?” 

    “I made her a promise. It’s taken quite some years but I finally fulfilled it.”

    “Ah, so it seems we both promised her something.”

    “What is your promise?” 

    “I kill any son of a bitch that puts his hands on her.” He replied in a deadly tone.  Lugiano whistled. 

    “My, that’s quite a promise.”

    “I intend to carry it through.”

    “I’m pretty hard to kill.”  His heart beat faster as he heard a soft whisper. 

    “I’m talking to him…your Hiroto.” 

    “….who…is that…”

    “You don’t remember?” A soft muffled groan responded and soon Lugiano’s voice was much clearer. 

    “She’s been sedated because we both know she’s quite the fighter.” 

    “Coward.”

    “I’m afraid our chat has to end. It was a pleasure talking to you. Ta.” 

    “Wait-” The phone hung up. 

    “Shit.” He cursed, throwing his phone across the bed. His cheeks burned but it didn’t compare to the burn in his heart. His fingers flexed, wanting to strangle something. She sounded so drugged… so out of it. He got up and ran angry fingers through his hair. He needed to get out before he started trashing the place. He needed to unleash the fury inside. Hastily throwing on some jogging pants and a shirt, he grabbed his keys and slid on his shoes before shooting out into the night like a rocket, fire blazing behind him. 

 

 

********** 

    “It’s okay sweetheart. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” She pouted and flared her nostrils. 

    “It’s sad I can’t even punch a mat.”

    “That’s why we’re doing this. Try again.” 

    “Fine.”

    “Wrists straight, fist tight.” He instructed. She sharply inhaled and drew back her arm to strike the mat he held in his hand. Her knuckles stung with the force of it. 

    “Good Rae!” She smirked. 

 

******* 

    She was getting better.. getting stronger. At first, the lessons had started slowly and she found herself frustrated. But Roto had been so reassuring… so calm and supportive…like he always had been. As they progressed, things began to get more complicated. Soon, they began to get more hands on. She got to a point where she could use her body weight to push him off of her and gain the upper hand by forcing him to the ground. 

****** 

    So close. She felt his heart beat faster and faster underneath her hands. Her throat had long since grown dry and she was pressed smack dab against places she was trying not to focus on at the moment. His legs were bent at the knee and his wrists laid flat back against the practice mat. He inhaled slowly, his cheeks pink. Sweat pressed his hair to his forehead. 

    “Good job.” He said with a smirk, glancing up at her. 

    “T-thanks.” 

    “It’s been a while since we’ve been in this position.” She smacked his chest. 

    “Shut up Hiroto!” A chuckle followed. 

    “I have to say,” He lifted his hips a little, just a tease. 

    “I missed you like this.” The heat that went through her entire body was hotter than the sun. She kept quiet for a little while because she knew she was going to start stuttering otherwise. Taking a deep breath, she spoke. 

    “I know. But just like last time..” Leaning down, she pressed her lips against his ear. 

    “You still ain’t gettin none.” Slapping his shoulder, she pushed up off of him and got up. He grinned and sat up.     

    “Very well played.”

    “Mmhm. Play this mat bruh.” She joked, holding up the mat in her hand. 

    “As you wish.”

******** 

    Aside from the playful flirting, he had taught her so much. He had given her confidence in her body and how to use it to protect herself. He’d even shown her how to use some house hold items as weapons. She had known that everything she had learned would have to be implemented. But not as soon as it came. It was too soon. 

******* 

    Her door bell rang as she ran a cotton t shirt across her wet curls. Her feet padding against the wooden floor, she went to the door. They had trained for hours and she was tired. She wondered why he was back. Sucking her teeth, she opened the door and froze. The face that met her was one she hadn’t quite yet gotten out of her nightmares. A face so familiar and yet so very foreign. The lips of the face smiled. 

    “It’s been such a long time.” Her fingers gripped the door and for a moment, she couldn’t breathe. 

    “P-Peter.” His smile grew bigger. 

    “You didn’t think I forgot about my promise did you baby?”

 

 

*********** 

    She sat in a chair, wrists tied to the arms. Her eyes staring intently at Peter. They hadn’t drugged her…yet. And she was intending to keep it that way. Everything within her wanted to fight but she knew she had to play it cool…for now. Comply and obey. For now. 

    “Rae?” She swallowed. 

    “Yes baby?” She replied softly. 

    “I missed you.” The corner of her lip twitched. 

    “I missed you too Papa.” 

    “You went away for quite a long time.” 

    “But now we together.” 

    “Yeah.”

    “Are you hungry?”

    “I’ll eat if you will.” He got up and gently cupped her cheek. 

    “I’ll be right back then.” She gave a weak smile and watched as he left. She scanned the room. Almost like a set from Alice and Wonderland, it was twisted and weird. The room had all kinds of weird trinkets and toys, old and new…

    “Wanna go outside?” She turned to look into the face of the man she had once called friend. 

    “If Papa wants to.” 

    “What if I want to?” She wanted to snap at him but kept it together… barely. She fixed a cold stare on him. 

    “You’re not important.” His jaw tightened and fists clenched together. 

    “I’ll be back.” Antonio Rossi scurried out of the door like a rabbit and finally she was alone. Almost as if to tease her, there was a phone placed in front of her on the long rectangular table. Almost as if to say Get me if you can. She knew it was a trap. But she had to talk to Hiroto…Amee….anybody. If she could get in contact with them and let them know where she was… that was all that mattered. It was something she would risk her life for. She slowly scoot the chair up one time and paused. Too loud. Damn. She sat still for a while. Nothing. No sound. She could use her legs. They were slipping. They’d left them untied. Slowly she crouched and moved towards the table. Coming to the edge, she turned her body painstakingly in attempts to grab the phone. She had to hurry. The pain in her wrist as she pressed the buttons she ignored. Please… pick up. Pick up Hiroto…. The phone began to buzz and on the third ring it picked up. 

    “Where’s Rae?” He barked, his voice hard and firm. 

    “Hiroto….it’s…it’s me…” He grew silent. 

    “R-Rae?” 

    “Listen… I don’t have much time. Write down what I tell you. Hurry up.” 

    “Alright.” She heard shuffling and soon, 

    “Go ahead.” 

    “3057 Mulburry Lane. Ask for James. Side or back entrance. Middle to top floor. Last room on the right.” 

    “Got it.” 

    “Take that to the police. That’s where I think I am…It’s a big white house. Lots of land, green grass. Has a fence.” 

    “I got it sweetheart.”

    “I gotta go…”

    “Rae-”

    “They coming… I gotta go.” She pressed the end button and sat down just before the door opened. Peter eyed the room. 

    “Scoot up some babe?” She felt a bead of sweat slide down her back. 

    “Just getting ready for dinner Papa.” She said with a soft sweet tone. 

    “Hm. Well, main course is ready.” He stepped into the room and sat down next to her. 

    “Remember Rae, behave and you won’t get the needle again.” 

    “Yes babe.” He grinned. 

    “Good.” She bit the inside of her cheek. Jesus please help me…please. She forced herself to eat the food knowing that soon she would be out anyway. Everything they gave her was spiked. And every bite she took was like a nail in the coffin. Hiroto… hurry… please. 

********* 

    “Hiroto!” As he was leaving his home, he turned to find Kiko running towards him. He scowled instantly. Why out of all times would she randomly show up now? He hadn’t seen her in months.

    “What do you want?” She jumped at his harsh tone. 

    “I-I wanted to c-c-come see you.” 

    “I do not have time for your foolishness Noa.”

    “Where are you going?” 

    “None of your business.”

    “Wait!” He pushed past her as he headed to his car.

    “Hiro-”

    “Rae is missing.” She grew still and blinked. 

    “Missing?”

    “I’m sure you’re inwardly happy about that.” 

    “Why would I be happy about that?”

    “Don’t play dumb. You’ve wanted her gone and as of now you have your wish.” She swallowed. 

    “Not like this…Not like this Hiro.”

    “Look, I have to go.”

    “Are you going to the police?”

    “Stay out of this Noa. You don’t have an inkling of compassion for Rae so save the fake concern. Go home and stay there.” He got in his car and drove off, leaving her in the parking lot. 

    As he got on the freeway, he dialed Amee. 

    “H-Hello?”

    “Amee.” 

    “Hiroto?”

    “Yes. I talked to Rae just now.”

    “What?!” 

    “I don’t think they drugged her yet. She was completely present and coherent.”

    “W-what did she say?”

    “She gave me directions. I’m taking it to the police.”

    “Oh thank God.”

    “I’ll let you know what happens.”

    “Yes please!”

    “All right. Try to get some rest hm?”

    “O-Okay…”

    “Take care.”

    “You too.” He hung up and increased speed. Now was not the time to panic. Everything would work out and soon, he’d have her back. He had faith. The warmth of peace covered him and he inhaled slowly as he pulled off at the exit. Keep me calm right now Lord. I need to keep calm for Rae. No matter how much he wanted to end the miserable lives Rossi and Lugiano had… it wouldn’t be…it wouldn’t be at the same level that God would repay them. So, he needed to be still and remain calm. As painstaking as it would be, he would listen. He would do so.

********* 

    Soon. Soon he’ll come… Jesus….please… She laid on the bed, finally starting to come out of her drug induced state. Please save me. Protect me…The silk sheets rubbed against her bare skin. No hands. No fingers. Yet. Where is your fight? Tears slid down her cheeks and back into her hair. You’re not the same little girl you once were. You’re a woman with purpose. Where is your fight? Her fists began to tighten up. This was what old Rae would do. Lay here and cry. Old Rae knew nothing but helplessness. But she wasn’t the same. She groaned and squeezed her eyes shut as she lifted up. Today, she would fight. Today she would put an end to this. 

*********

    “It’s been days. No one has seen her.” He couldn’t help but stare at Shaundra, Rae’s mother. Her face was fixed in grief but her voice belied something else. 

    “They’ll find her.” His eyes drifted to her father. That was better. More concern. More confidence. 

    “Mama what we gon do?” One of the younger girls asked. 

    “If she isn’t found soon honey….I…I don’t know.” 

    “So we give up on her?” He spoke up, making her jump. She pressed her hand to her chest. 

    “Why are you here?” 

    “Why shouldn’t I be here?” He replied in turn, leaning back against the wall by the door. 

    “You’re not apart of this family.” Yet. 

    “My main concern is that of your daughter. All other things are trivial.” Her mother pursed her lips. 

    “Ma, leave him alone. He’s been the only one around here workin to try to get Rae back.” Amee said in his defense. 

    “Why y’all tryna attack him?” Even he was taken aback at the question that came from Tre. He blinked.

    “Hiroto, you said Rae talked to you?” He cleared his throat and looked at her father. 

    “Yes. It appears she was cognizant. She told me where she was located before she had to go.” 

    “Where was that?” Her mother asked, growing stiff. 

    “I cannot release that to you. Police orders.” Shaundra looked away. 

    “Good job Hiroto.” He looked up at Tre who was attempting to be friendly. He nodded at him. 

    “It’s nothing. I just want to make sure she comes back to us all.” 

    “She will. My sister is a fighter.” Tre said proudly. He smiled. Oh, he knew that very well. 

    “She is.” He replied simply, a small smile on his face. 

    “All we can do now is pray and believe that things will work out.” 

********* 

    They had left her alone in her bedroom, the curtains drawn. They had grown sloppy, letting her free as long as she stayed within the boundaries of the mansion. How careless. The same drug they pushed into her veins they pushed into their own. Tonight they were high as the sky. She was coming down… coming off of it. Not quiet there but enough… enough. She slid off of the bed and fell to the floor. Her legs were still numb. Hitting them with her hands, she breathed harshly as she tried to get up. Now was not the time. Tonight was it. She grit her teeth and reached to grip the comforter. In her haze, she felt anger. It flickered across her eyelids like tiny pictures. How she came to get here. Angry tears slid down her skin. 

******** 

    Her lamp smashed to the ground. Tears had welled up in her eyes and her fists were tight at her sides as she stepped back… away from him. He stepped closer and closer, casually knocking things over. 

    “Such a lovely home you have babe. But, I’m afraid it’s only going to get dirty so let’s save time.”

    “W-Why are you here…h-how did you get here?” Peter smiled. 

    “Such an innocent little thing. All this time you never knew…” 

    “K-knew what?” 

    “I’ve watched you grow up before my very eyes Rae.” 

    “W-what do you mean?” 

    “From pictures… to audio… all of it mine. Ever since you ran away from me, I’ve made it my mission to find you again. I’ve missed you so much.” 

    “No…. no…” She turned to run but he grabbed her and pulled her back by her arms, tightly gripping. 

    “I’m still so hurt. Why did you ever think you could run away from me?” 

    “Don’t….. don’t please.” She begged, her voice full of fear. 

    “I won’t hurt you. Not yet.” She crumbled, her legs giving out. 

    “It’s all right baby. Let’s take a seat and catch up.” He hoisted her back up by her arms and forced her to sit in her kitchen chair. When he took his hands away, the skin and muscle ached and burned. 

    “So,” He sat down slowly, never once taking his eyes off of her. 

    “How have you been?” She sat still in her chair, lips shut. Her body began to tremble. 

    “Why…are…you…here…” 

    “I’ve only come to reclaim what was lost.” He grinned making her skin crawled. 

    “There’s a look I haven’t seen in a little while.” He commented, sighing. Fear. It shook her entire being and at once all of the flashbacks hit her with such force. She started to weep. 

    “Don’t cry baby. Here, let Papa make you feel better.” He got up and slowly cupped her chin. She jerked away, only to have him grip her face tightly. 

    “You still have such fight in you…after all this time. I love it.” He whispered against her cheek, before pressing lips to the skin. 

    “P-P-Pe-Peter-”

    “Shh. It’s alright. I’m just as excited as you are to catch up.” She squeezed her eyes tight as his fingers slid through the wet curls of her hair. 

    “Does that man know about you? Who you really are?” 

    “What man…” He chuckled and pulled her head back against him, fingers tight in the coils. 

    “Hiroto Iwase. Does he know?” 

    “Leave him alone…. please. D-Don’t hurt him.” 

    “Answer the question.” She sniffed, her throat growing tight. 

    “Y-yes. H-He knows.”     

    “And still he wants to be with you hm?” He let go of her hair. 

    “As good as it’s been to see you, now I have to be completely honest.” He leaned over and grabbed her face, forcing her to look up at him. 

    “I wondered what I would do when I saw you next. Would I start over? Take you away from everyone you’ve ever loved and known? Or…would I kill you? You have made me so very angry over the years Ebere. Leaving me, finding some man. Even playing against some of my best men in the game. Oddly enough, it’s been pleasing to see all the things I taught you. Surely, you’ve done them well.” 

    “P-P-Peter-”

    “Shut up!” She cried out as he squeezed her jaw. 

    “Close your mouth.” Pain spread sharply across her jaw, up into her cheeks. Any moment, she felt he would break it. 

    “Has Hiroto seen you? Has he touched you?” He asked, the look within his eyes growing stormy. She shook her head no. 

    “It doesn’t matter anyway if he has.” He sighed and let go of her chin. She reached up to tenderly touch her jaw. 

    “How….did you…find me?” She asked quietly, anger starting to rise up in her chest.     “Oh, I’ve had plenty of people help along the way in arranging this meeting. You know quite a few of them.” 

    “Who?” The grin was back and he leaned down over her again, hands pressed flat against her table. 

    “Mr. Antonio Rossi for starters.” Fresh tears fell down her cheeks. Oh God…

    “You’re lying…” 

    “Antonio’s a fool. He let his obsession for you destroy him. Do you know what he asked me?” She didn’t… didn’t want to know. The hurt in her chest was too deep. 

    “He asked me to give you to him. To make you his.” He laughed, shaking his head. 

    “The thought of Hiroto laying one finger on you disgusted him enough to do my bidding. And yet, after all these some ten years, he still doesn’t know what kind of man I am.” 

    “Ten… ten years…” 

    “Your entire employment was set up by me. I purposefully put you in the care of Rossi so that I could monitor you. He’s been following you, spying on you and listening to you for years and you’ve never once caught on.” Fire across her entire body. That son of a bit-

    “Not to mention the lovely Marshall family.” Another sharp jab to her heart.

    “Stop it.” She grew stiff and still, looking at him with teary eyes. 

    “They were very polite people and quite open. Kendrick and Shaundra. Very polite but selfish people.” She hung her head, cries rising from her throat. 

    “You forgot I told you about the big powerful men. Those men searched for you for days… weeks… months. And by luck, one day they spotted you. And you led us straight to the Marshall household. From there I made my move. While you were at school, I paid them a visit. Told them you were my lost ward and that I wanted you returned to me. Lies that they ate up.” He stroked her cheek with his fingers. 

    “It was evident that Shaundra held you in contempt. She wanted you gone. But, Kendrick reasoned with her. Told her the kids loved you and would be devastated if you left suddenly. He suggested something even I hadn’t thought of.” She listened, her fists tight. 

    “That was?”

    “They send you to a place far away from the United States. Out of all the places they considered, they chose Japan. It didn’t matter to me as long as I got you in the end. Kendrick proposed that they come up with a story about screwing up with the mafia. And wipe their hands clean of you. There they’d deliver you directly into my hands.” 

    “W-who was meant to give me to you t-there?” 

    “A woman by the name of Tanaka Ami. Lucky for you, someone else took you away from that site.” Minako. She took a shuddery breath. 

    “I had agents set up but apparently, someone slipped under their guard and got to you before I could. Once you set foot back in the States I immediately knew about it via your parents.” 

    “Why are you telling me all of this?” 

    “Because baby, I want you to know the truth. Every last bit of it. You’ve been lied to for far too long.” He got up and kicked the leg of her chair back, forcing her towards him. 

    “Now, tell me about Hiroto. I’ve heard such wonderous things about him.” 

 

    ********** 

    “Rae, what are you doing?” Hands grabbed her by her side. 

    “I…I need to get out of here.” James. The only source of light she had in the whole mansion. He sighed and looked back behind them. 

    “Do you remember me Rae?” She smiled tiredly against him, her skin hot and wet. 

    “You saved me… as a girl…” 

    “I’m glad you remember. What are the odds we’d meet again?”

    “Mmm.” 

    “Lugiano will get what’s coming to him Rae. Don’t worry about that okay?”

    “Mmmmhmmm.” He drew her closer as they got to the stairs. 

    “I’m going to pick you up.” She let him scoop her up. 

    “James?” He froze. 

    “Yeah Pete?” 

    “Go check Rae’s room after you secure the premises.” 

    “Of course.” Her breath was shallow and soon his presence faded from the hallway. He calmly walked down the stairs and opened the door. As soon as they were outside, he put her down. 

    “Run.” Rain poured and drenched her skin. She gripped the sheets wrapped around her body and took a step back. 

    “Thank you… J-James.” 

    “You’re welcome. Go before he notices.” Her eyes filled with tears but she turned and started to run. She came to an open portion of the wraparound fence, most likely done by James and shot through it. Her feet slapped against the hard cold concrete and as she ran she cried loudly, tears of anguish, pain and thanksgiving. I’m free. 

    

******** 

    The rain pelted against the windshield and he turned the wipers on high. It had been about thirty minutes out of the city and all around there was countryside. The night sky was pitch black, the clouds grey. After a night of no sleep, his mind tossing and turning, he got in his car and got on the freeway. He had decided to go get her. Advised against it he went anyway. He needed to find her. To take his next breath, he needed to see her, feel her, hear her again. Through the rain, he saw nothingness. Focusing intently, he decreased speed a little until he came past another lone car. As he came further down the road, he saw a flash of white suddenly appear right in front of him. 

    “Shit!” He swerved to the side of the road. Pressing on the break, the car came to a sharp stop. A figure came up to the car window and dark hands began to beat upon the glass. 

    “HELP! PLEASE HELP ME!” He pushed the car door open and got out, rain soaking him.     

    “Rae?” She was hysterical, grabbing his jacket. Her legs gave out and she started to sag. Her cries were without breath. 

    “Roto….Roto…” He pulled her up against him, fingers deep into her hair. 

    “I’m here baby… I’m here…” He felt tears come to his eyes and bit his lip. She needed to get out of the cold. He picked her up under the knee and brought her to the car. Opening the door to the backseat, he gently slid her inside. She tightened her arms around him and he put his fingers on her wrists. 

    “Don’t…don’t go…”   

    “I’m not going anywhere. Just to close the door.” He spoke gently and closed the door behind them. She shifted her body to the side and pulled him down to lay next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her small shaking form close. Pressing his cheek against her wet cold hair, he closed his eyes, the warmth from the car permeating through the air.    

    “It’s all over okay?” He felt her nod against him and tightened his grip slightly. The tears that formed slid down his cheek, one after the other. He sniffed and let a cry come from his chest. Anger traveled hot through his veins and he wanted to go after them but he wouldn’t. She was the most important thing right now.  

 

******** 

    The cold of the rain shocked the drugs out of her system and everything grew clear. She felt big warm hands across the chilled skin and the masculine scent of him drift into her nostrils. 

    “Roto…” 

    “What happened to your clothes?” She looked up to find him looking at her intensely. She swallowed. 

    “They…they took em. I…I grabbed what I could.” He was quiet, his jaw tight. Slowly, his fingers began to stroke the skin of her shoulder. 

    “How did you get out?” 

    “A really nice man…James. He saved me before…when I was young…”

    “Ah.”

    “Hiroto…” His fingers skimmed her cheek. 

    “Yeah?” 

    “Were you coming to get me?”

    “Mmhm.” 

    “T-thank you.” 

    “Don’t thank me baby.” She slowly sat up. 

    “It’s a wonder you would see me out here.” She felt his nose brush the back of her neck. 

    “The sheet helped.” She sighed and her eyes fluttered closed. The only touch that was welcomed… she’d missed it. 

    “We should go.” His voice was quiet. 

    “Okay…” But as she turned her head towards him, their lips met soft as a whisper. Liquid heat flowed through her body and was lit on fire, the shock that sparked from his lips igniting it like a match. She didn’t even try to hold back the soft moan that rose from her mouth. More. She grabbed his jacket and their kiss deepened. Just like that, she was in the dense deep blue and it was so good she didn’t want to come up for air. Let her be submerged…This once she wanted to drown into him. She pulled him towards her and her back met the cushion of the seat. She heard his heart reply, small little groans from the depths of his belly called out to her. 

    “Roto…” His lips kissed her jaw and chin. 

    “Hm?” He was so warm. 

    “I’m c-cold…” The sound that came from him was both a sigh and groan and his lips pressed still against her. 

    “Let me hold you. I’ll make you warm again.” He moved to the side of her and wrapped his arms around her again. Her eyes met his and she reached up to brush the tears from his cheek. He kissed her wrist and soon, she snuggled against him, dipping into his warmth. His hands closed around her and as the rain quieted down, gently pelting the window she felt herself drift to sleep.

End Notes:

** IMPORTANT READ IMPORTANT READ!** 

 

A/N(1): Hi guys! So if you haven't heard, last night the site crashed for over an hour and much to my and a lot of other authors' dismay, updates, chapters and reviews were lost. While not much can be done about the reviews sadly, I am moreso blessed that I saved my work to be able to upload again. To God be the Glory! At first y'all I was upset because not only pageviews but reviews and readcount was all screwed up but you know what, God does not make mistakes! There was a reason this happened and I know that things will continue to progress and go forward with Transcendence. So it doesn't matter. Thank you for all of you for enduring this process with me and letting me know my chapters were erased!! Now, unto the saved original authors note! <3 **  

 

 

 

A/N: Woo y'all that was intense! Everything was so sensory! Woo. James is the MVP here. And what are the odds (little known fact) that James actually helped Rae escape from Lugiano as a young girl only to help her again all these years later?!!! Wow.... I really am speechless y'all. I am writing the next chapter as I type! I hope that you guys enjoy it! If there are typos, grammatical errors, please excuse them as it is currently 3:20 am (time I uploaded lol) and I am tired lol! God bless you all! Till next time, 

 

D&L! 

Bonnie and Clyde by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

Soundtrack: 

Sade-No Ordinary Love

Sade-Sweetest Taboo 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    “Rae?” She looked up from the table. 

    “Atmikha.” She blinked in surprise and eyed a man. 

    “You are?” He stood and bowed. 

    “I am Iwase Hiroto.” Eyes wide, she turned them back on her. She smiled some and stood up. 

    “I know we don’t have an appointment. We can come back-” Atmikha waved. 

    “No, it’s no problem at all! I was just about to take my lunch break. Follow me.” Gently gripping Roto’s hand, she led him into the familiar and comforting space. The smell of incense wafted through the air and she inhaled deeply. 

    “So, you are Hiroto.” He turned to look at her and bowed his head. 

    “Yes ma’am.” 

    “My, she told me you were handsome but goodness.” He blushed. 

    “Thank you.” She smiled in a friendly manner and eyes her. 

    “Rae, I know that there’s a story you have to tell. What’s happened?” Tears welled up in her eyes.

    “I don’t even know where to start. So much… has-has happened… you were the only one I could come to….” 

    “Precious sister…” Atmikha’s arms surrounded her and she rubbed her back in circles until the cries calmed down some. 

    “God, I got your blouse wet.” She said in an apologetic tone, wiping the tears from her cheeks. 

    “It’s okay. Come, sit.” She sat down. 

    “Hiroto come sit too.” He bowed his head and sat down next to her, his hands into fists on his knees.

    “Remember the two men I told you about?” 

    “I do…”

    “They kidnapped me and held me captive for almost a whole entire week.” 

    “Oh my God.” In all of their sessions, she had only seen Atmikha tear up once. But tears flowed from her eyes and it unsettled her. 

    “Rae…”

    “They drugged me and everything.” 

    “Did they rape you?” She glanced over at Hiroto who sat straight and stiff, his fists growing tighter. 

    “It never once felt that way…like they did…”  She looked down at her fingers. 

    “How did you get away?” 

    “They had grown sloppy and left me completely untied one night. As I felt myself come down off my high I knew it was then or never. So I did the best I could and dragged myself to the door. My legs weren’t workin just yet.” Both of them listened intently, waiting for her next word. 

    “James helped me get out.” 

    “James?”

    “He’s saved me twice now. When I was little… he was the one who helped me get away.  Now… now he’s dead…” 

    “How do you know that?” She looked up at Atmikha. 

    “I know Peter. He probably killed him once he found I was gone…And James…he..he knew he was gonna die if he helped me. But… he did it anyway. He did it again.”  She felt unshed tears rise up. Atmikha sighed sadly.

    “The loss of this brave man will not be in vain Rae. You have to make sure his sacrifice isn’t wasted.”

    “How…” 

    “Are you going to let them get away with it?”

    “What?” 

    “Are you going to let them get away with it?” 

    “I’d die before I let that happen.” Roto growled beside her, anger in his voice. 

    “Well, Hiroto has spoken. What say you Rae?” She pushed back her hair from her face and wiped her face with the backs of her hands. 

    “Hell nawl. I won’t let them get away with it.” 

    “You feel that fire in your chest?”

    “Yeah.” 

    “Use that. It’s determination, anger and your livelihood.” 

    “I want them all dead.” She hissed, her fingers tight. 

    “Life would be better.” 

    “Why?”

    “If they have no choice but to live with the consequences of their actions…well that makes for a better result then doesn’t it?” She sighed and swallowed thickly. 

    “I will do what I have to.”  Atmikha nodded. 

    “Let me ask you a question…” 

    “Sure.” 

    “Did Rossi know where exactly you were staying when you were here last?” She shook her head. 

    “No. I only told him that I was coming to the city. I didn’t disclose any of my whereabouts.” Atmikha visibly relaxed. 

    “I understand what I am about to do could be seen as unprofessional but I am going to do it anyway.” She stood up. 

    “I have a private house in the countryside. I would feel comfortable if you went there instead of a hotel.” 

    “We’ll be so appreciative…” Roto spoke up, bowing. She sat still, jaw clenched. 

    “You sure that’s a good idea?” Atmikha smiled. 

    “I want to make sure that bastard has nowhere to look for you.” She swallowed before,     

    “Thank you…” 

    “It’s no problem at all! Do you need transportation as well?” 

    “We have that. Thank you.” She smiled at Roto. 

    “You are just as Rae described. Kind, gentle and fiercely protective of her.” His face grew  red. 

    “T-Thank you.” 

    “I’m glad that you are with her this time…”

    “Me too.” 

    “This woman needs you more than she needs air. Together…at last…I know she’ll survive. She’ll make it and she’ll grow. With you.” The blush grew darker and he bowed his head lower. 

    “Atmikha…” Her heart was growing so full. 

    “I’ll make sure I do everything I can to ensure that you are protected while in Seattle Rae. I’ll call you when I’m done with work and we can drive to the house tonight. Is that all right?” 

    “O-okay.” 

    “You still have my number yes?”

    “Never deleted it.” 

    “I will see you two in a few hours.” 

    “Okay.” She stood and hugged her for the longest time. 

    “Thank you Atmikha… thank you so so much…” 

    “Don’t thank me dear sister…we have to take care of each other…” She kissed her forehead affectionately and let her go. Gripping his hand, Roto led her outside and back into the awaiting car. 

 

*******

    It had been about a couple days since they had fled New York. She had shut off her phone and soon Hiroto’s phone was ignored. They had spent the first few nights sleeping in his car as he was against getting a hotel room. Lowkey and nearly invisible… away from everyone…The day after he had rescued her was the beginning of their new adventure.

 

*******

    She heard a steady heart thrum against her ear. The light of the sun shown on her skin, warming it up. Rosy skin met her fingertips and those tiny dark freckles upon his cheek were so close. Smooth and solid. Firm and warm. Clean and oh so right. From his jaw to the soft sweet fragrance that lived on his lips, everything…so close. He slept quietly, his arms surrounding her. His wrists and hands were relaxed and his breath was light. Reaching up, she gently brushed some hair back from his forehead. Her fingers slid down his cheek and pressed against his lips. She withdrew them and slowly sat up. She thanked God it had warmed up because his car had turned off, more than likely in the middle of the night. She swallowed and slid her hands down to her stomach. Hungry. She felt his hand slide up to her hip and turned. He laid there for a minute before his eyes slowly opened. 

    “Morning…” His warmth beckoned her and she laid back down, snuggling against him. 

    “Morning.” She smiled and gently traced his jaw line with her fingertips. 

    “How’d you sleep?”

    “I slept well.”

    “You sure?”

    “Mmhm.” He yawned pressing his cheek against her shoulder. 

    “Did you?” He asked, his voice gruff with sleep. 

    “Yeah. You kept me warm.” She felt his lips smile some. 

    “Good.” 

    “Is your car okay?” She asked, a concerned expression on her face.

    “Mm. Don’t worry about it.” He nuzzled her cheek. 

    “Roto?” Her breath caught in her throat as the sunlight caught across his eyes, amber flashing. 

    “Yeah?” His voice was soft but husky.

    “Maybe we should head back…” His hand came to caress her cheek. 

    “Okay.” She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.

    “I just wanna sleep.”

    “Sleep as long as you want sweetheart.” His lips brushed her eyelids. 

    “What if I wake up and you gone?” 

    “I won’t go anywhere.” She opened her eyes and they met his. She blushed and looked down. The intensity of his eyes slightly unnerved her.  

    “I’ll be in your captivity then?” Again? 

    “If you want to be.” He pulled his hand away from her and opened the door to the backseat. Climbing out, he outstretched his hand to her. She gingerly took it and stepped out, shivering as her feet touched the cool ground. He wrapped his arm around her as he led her to the passenger side. Once she got in, he got behind the wheel. As they got back on the road, she pressed her forehead against the glass and soon she felt her eyes close. 

 

********

    Rest had come easy and behind her lids, she was able to get away from the realities of what had happened to her. But all too soon the peaceful sleep came to an end. 

*******

    “Where exactly we goin?” 

    “I was going to take you to see your sister.” She frowned, her lips in a deep purse. 

    “No. Don’t do that.” His eyebrows furled. 

    “Why not?” She sucked her teeth. 

    “I don’t trust any of them…. the Marshalls.” She replied, disgust in her tone. 

    “Not even Amee? Tre?” 

    “I don’t wanna see them yet. I don’t wanna see nobody.” He was quiet for a little while before he answered, 

    “All right. I’ll take you to my home then.” She visibly relaxed, her shoulders less stiff. 

    “Good…” Things grew quiet for a little while. 

    “Tell me what’s on your mind Rae.” She sat back in the passenger seat and crossed her arms.

    “Everything has been nothing but a big lie. Everything was set up.” He blinked. 

    “What do you mean?” She turned to look out of the window. 

    “Peter been watching me this entire time. Thanks to Shaundra Marshall. She thought I was a little hood rat and because I was a threat to her, she allowed Peter uninterrupted access to me and my life.” Her nostrils flared and she licked her lips. 

    “I found out that my going to Japan was a set up. Some woman named Tanaka Ami was supposed to get me and hand me over to Peter. My parents had made a deal with him to send me there to him.” 

    “Oh God…Rae…” She felt anger light up her veins and she inhaled sharply. 

    “Like little rats, they reported everything to him. Thank God Minako came to my rescue. She got to me before Tanaka could.” He didn’t say anything. 

    “As if that wasn’t enough, I find out that my former boss is in on it all too. I mean….gotdamn.” Tears welled up in her eyes and she tightened her fists. 

    “I’m sorry…” 

    “Don’t be… it’s not your fault. I just don’t…don’t understand. From the jump they were trying to destroy me.” She slid her hands down to her stomach. 

    “I’ll never forget it. The way they tried to convince me that killing the life within me was right…was the only answer…was the only way to be accepted into their family.” The tears that hd formed slid down her cheeks, hot and heavy. 

    “Fuck their family. I don’t want to be apart of it anymore. I don’t want anything to do with them…” She cried, her voice angry and hurt. 

    “Amee and Tre have been worried sick about you. Amee has been calling left and right, demanding updates and whereabouts. She’s been with me every step of the way in finding you.” 

    “It’s not Amee or Tre I’m upset at. I’m infuriated at Shaundra…and the man I call father.” 

    “As you have every right to be.” Sighing, she closed her mouth and wiped the tears away. 

    “Remember when we were kids…and you told me that you wanted to create a world where we could live and nobody would ever hurt us?” Her voice was quiet. Glancing at him, she watched as he nodded. 

    “I remember.” 

    “I wanna create that world now. I’m tired of living in this one.” He sighed. 

    “I’m tired of it too. I’m tired of your tears. Your sorrows and your pain. I’m sick of all the people in this world who seek to destroy you. And me.” 

    “Yeah.” It grew quiet again and no other words were spoken during the drive. Thirty minutes later they pulled into his driveway. 

    “Thank you for…lettin me stay here.” 

    “Don’t thank me.” He got out of the car and came to open her door. She got out and shuddered at the windy burst that chilled her skin. 

    “Come on.” He led her to the door and soon they walked in. 

 

    *******

    She stared at the large floor to ceiling window, crickets and fireflies alive in the darkness. 

    “Rae?”  She turned to find Hiroto standing behind her, a concerned look on his face. 

    “Yeah?”

    “What’s wrong?”

    “I don’t want to talk about it…” He tightened his jaw. 

    “I’ll respect that.” Turning, he set the keys on the large island counter and left her alone. She was so grateful to Atmikha for letting them stay here… but…she was pissed. The rage brewing inside her was similar to a fire and it was hot as the sun. She looked out into the darkness. It was quiet and the stars twinkled like bright lights in the sky. The air was cool and clear. She was tired of always running…She had run her entire life. Turning to look at Roto, she sighed. After meeting him she had stopped. Even now… though it felt like running… she was running with him. That made it better… Swallowing, she came towards him. 

    “Thank you.” Quietly spoken, she walked past him in search of a bedroom where she could be in silence. 

 

********* 

    “Where is she?” 

    “I don’t know.”

    “She hasn’t been seen around her apartment. Or that of her parents.” 

    “She’s with Iwase.” 

    “That figures. But where are they?”

    “Find out.” 

    “Yes sir.” 

*********

    He ran wet fingers through his hair and wrapped a towel around his waist. The moon was high and all was quiet. The room was dimly lit and the windows he had opened to let in a soft breeze. Walking over to the sink, he gripped the edge. Looking into the mirror, he swallowed tightly. Rae was such a simple woman… one who did not ask for much. Her smile rivaled the sun, her laughter the sea. Her eyes glittered with an ethereal light and her heart was precious and fragile. Looking down at his hands, he dug his nails into the palms. Any hand that struck her, any man who threatened to damage the glow, dim the seemingly unexplainable magic that dwelled within and beneath her beautiful brown skin didn’t deserve anything but misery. Droplets fell against his fingers. It had been a ride thus far…and all it had been for them so far was misery… and yet… fleeting moments of happiness. 

******* 

    He ran a bath, the hot water crystal clear as it filled the tub. Steam curled up in wisps and he inhaled deeply. He laid a white towel and soap on a nearby table. Stepping back, he dipped his fingers to test the water and stood, running damp fingers through his hair. 

    “Rae?” 

    “Yeah?”

    “It’s ready for you.” She came into the bathroom and at the sight of it, her mouth dropped. 

    “Oh my Lord…I…I can’t…believe this your bathroom.” He grinned, ruffling his hair. 

    “Yeah.” 

    “Oh I might not come back out then. You could live in here!” He laughed and gently kissed her forehead. 

    “Go ahead and get in.” She blushed with a nod and soon he closed the door. Pulling his hair up into a small bun, he tapped the counter. What to make, what to make? She had to be starved. Smiling to himself, he rolled up his sleeves and got to work, grabbing small packages and the other ingredients. 

 

*******

    Laying in bed, she looked into the dark room. Little bits of gold flickered like bright little lights in her mind. It soothed her soul. 

********* 

    She soaked in the water, her muscles growing relaxed. Sighing deeply, she leaned her head back against the rim of the tub. Smiling to herself, she looked out of the window. All of New York was at her fingertips and from here, it looked beautiful. She closed her eyes and dipped her fingers into the water, watching as it sluiced through. The delicate scent from the candles he lit wafted across her nose and she sighed again. She just wanted the heat from the nearby candles, the soothing smoothness of the water and the night sky to take her away. Grabbing her towel and the small bottle of soap, she froze, looking at it. Biting her lip in a smile, she felt her cheeks grow warm. It was her favorite scent. Just like before when they were kids… he…he never forgot. Opening the small bottle, she poured it onto her pouf and lathered it up. 

    Once clean, she got out and softly stepped onto a plush mat. Grabbing her towel, she wrapped it around herself and turned to let the water out from the tub. Feeling clean and fresh, she went to the door and peeked out. No one. 

    “Hiroto?” It was quiet. She swallowed and came out of the bathroom. Where was he? 

    “Hiroto?” She called again. Nothing. It was a little while before she smelt something good. He must be in the kitchen. She followed the smell and stood still as she caught sight of him. He stood at his stove, stirring some type of sauce in a pan. Memories of him as a teenager flickered across her mind and she smiled as she watched him. In an A shirt and sweats, he hummed softly as he opened a pot full of steam. 

    “You haven’t changed.” He closed the pot and turned to look at her, a surprised expression on his face. 

    “Ah, I figured you were hungry…” She nodded and smiled. 

    “I am…” 

    “Good.”  He cleared his throat before quickly scanning her from head to toe. 

    “I threw away that sheet so…we’ll have to get you some clothes.” 

    “I don’t want you to buy anything for me Roto…” He grinned. 

    “Well, as much as I’d enjoy you just as you are, it wouldn’t be proper.” She pursed her lips.

    “Sure wouldn’t.”

    “To be safe, we should avoid your house for a little while. From what you’ve told me, they are watching that area for you.” 

    “Yeah.” 

    “I’ll go in the morning.” 

    “What if they find out where you are?” 

    “I cover my bases very well. They don’t know where you are and we’ll keep it that way.” 

    “So what do we do… just go into hiding?”

    “Until things become safe again yes.” 

    “How long you think that’ll be?” He sighed and turned back to the stove. 

    “I don’t know.” She slowly came behind him and pressed her face in between his shoulder blades. Wrapping her arms around him, she sighed. 

    “With you I always feel so safe.” She heard him put down something and she felt him turn, his arms coming around her. 

    “It’s my job to protect you. You know that.” She looked up into his eyes. 

    “Roto…” He smiled, his hands gently caressing her shoulders. 

    “Go into the room directly behind you to the right and get something to put on. I’ll set up dinner okay?”  

    “Okay.” She pressed her fingers to her cheek as she scurried towards his room. 

 

********* 

    He closed his eyes as he laid wrapped in the comforter. If there was one thing he was glad for, it was that she had been sent to him. Set up or not, if her parents had not have abandoned her in Japan, he’d have never met her. Somethings meant for evil actually turned out for good. And for that, he’d be grateful. 

********

    He set two plates on the low table and grabbed two pairs of hashi and forks. Sighing, he went to wash his hands and found her standing in the entryway, a sheepish look on her face. He chuckled. 

    “What’s wrong?” She pouted. 

    “All yo stuff too big…” 

    “You knew that already…”

    “Hush.” He grinned. 

    “I think my shirt looks good on you.” She had chosen a grey t shirt that touched just below her knees. She had found one of his headbands and put her hair up and away from her face, the strands still glistening with water. She smelled good and looked even better.

    “You think anything of yours looks good on me.” She retorted, a playful pout on her face. 

    “That’s because it does.” She rolled her eyes as he passed her. 

    “What’d you make?” She came to sit down, her legs cross crossed to the side of her. 

    “Spaghetti Napolitan.” 

    “Napoli what?” 

    “Napolitan. It’s really good. I’m surprised you never had it back home.” 

    “Well it’s a first time for everything. Anything with spaghetti is bound to be good so..” He poured water into her glass and then into his. 

    “This looks amazing Roto.” He blushed. 

    “Thank you. I’m ready to dig in.” She grinned. 

    “You ain’t said nothin but a word.” Without another utterance, they inhales their plates. 

 

********* 

    Love poured into his spirit like tiny grains of liquid sand and threatened to fill him to capacity. More… even more still…until he found himself overcome by it.    

 

********* 

    She had fallen asleep, her mouth slightly open. Chuckling softly, he gently moved the plate back from the table. How exhausted she must be. He was glad to see that she had eaten all of her food though. Sighing, he left her be while he cleaned up. Putting the remaining food into containers, he placed them in the fridge and washed his hands one last time. Coming over to her, he scooped her up. Bringing her to his bedroom, he placed her underneath his comforter. Soon, he joined her, pressing a kiss to her forehead before turning to face the opposite way. For the longest, he listened to her breathing before his eyes closed and he drifted to sleep. 

 

********* 

    The sweet soft peace that came from the memories drifted like a breeze and they both fell asleep, buried in its warm serenity. Soon, the morning had come before they knew it. Strange that in the midst of everything, they could enjoy nuggets of joy… even a little. 

**** 

    He was sitting on the couch as she entered the living room, the early morning light falling across his features.     

    “Roto?” Slowly, he turned and his eyes were warm and rich. 

    “Morning.” She smiled. 

    “Mornin.” She came to sit next to him. 

    Roto?”

    “Hm?”

    “I wanna go far away…”

    “Pick a place and we’ll go.” His voice comforted her, soft and sweet like honey.

    “What if this place doesn’t exist?” He looked at her. 

    “Then we use our imagination to create it.” She smiled dreamily. 

    “That sounds nice.” He reached across and grabbed her hand. 

    “I’ve been thinking about everything. Running it over and over in my mind. The rage I feel can’t be explained Rae…” His voice was quiet but the cool calmness characteristic of him was shaky. When his voice quivered like that… she knew just how angry he was. He sighed and pressed his lips against the rope burns, still slightly red on her wrist. 

    “Soon all of this will end. And then, we’ll be able to live in our own world.” He looked at her. 

    “Can you hold on until then?” Her cheeks grew red, bright as the sun. 

    “Y-Yeah…I-I think I can.” 

    “Good.” She withdrew her wrist and gently pressed her hands into her lap. 

    “Together,  we’re better. Together, we’re… powerful.” She spoke, looking at nothing in particular. 

    “Like Bonnie and Clyde. Inseparable, dangerous and deadly.” 

    “We certainly have the potential to be all of the above.” She smiled to herself. 

    “A love that thrills and never grows cold…always burning.” She continued softly. 

    “Mm.” 

    “Yeah.” She looked over to find that he had stood up. 

    “Unordinary. Peculiar in nature but pure and raw in form.” He said with a sigh. 

    “Yes…” To her surprise, he turned and leaned down, gently pressing his lips against hers. Sparks ignited in her veins and she gripped his arms. 

    “Something I’d kill for. Something I’d die for. Without a doubt or second thought.” 

    “Roto…” Without another word, he pulled away from her and left her, lips tingling. She took the bottom one in between her teeth. It was a little while before she got up to help him make something for breakfast. In hiding, having left no trails behind them, a new adventure had unfolded. She didn’t know however long this one would last but more and more she was beginning to feel empowered. With the man she loved at her side, she felt as though she could, would and must. The world wasn’t ready for Bonnie. Or Clyde. And when they reappeared, things would never be the same. They both would make damn sure of that. 

 

******** 

    “Did you find them?” 

    “No. Shaundra nor Kendrick have seen her. They haven’t even had communication with her.” 

    “What about the siblings?” 

    “They claim to have heard nothing from her either.”

    “I find that hard to believe. At the very least, she should’ve gotten in contact with Tremaine or Amelia.” 

    “Should I ask them again?”

    “Do ask again. This time if they insist on being tight lipped, make sure to let them know that the next time they see their sister will be in a body bag.” 

    “Of course Mr. Lugiano.”

End Notes:

 

A/N: Heyyyyyy everybodyyyyy! Woosa it's been a while! Since I came home, I been applying for jobs and scholarships like crazy! So I haven't been writing! I'm trying to keep myself occupied this summer with other things as well! I hope this chapter was worth the wait! Quite long but prayfully thrilling! I know I always seem to end chapters with cliff hangers LOL. Okay so 1: that is really how it ends in the idea process for me lol. And 2: SORRY lol. Again, it's like a movie playing and usually the chapter ends how it ends playin in my mind. Soooo that means cliff hangers.... galore it seems like huh lol. My bad y'all! I love this chapter...them two are a force to be reckoned wit and they know it lol. Confrontation is coming up... long awaited and longgggg overdue. Be prepared for another long chapter ahead :D Thank you for reading and I hope to see you soon! :)

P.S-Did anybody else get goosebumps at that gif of Sakaguchi?? I saw it and was like YES HAVE TO USE THIS. 

Till next time, God bless! 

Sunray into the sky bright and yellow! 

Be set free by the renewing of your mind! 

D&L <3 

** Any grammatical or other errors let me know as it is 4:58 in the mornin. GOT TO GET SOME SLEEP LOL. THANK YOU**

IF ANYBODY IS CURIOUS, THIS IS WHAT ATMIKHA LOOKS LIKE: :D 

 

Blue Wine by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

WARNING: TRIGGERING MATERIAL AND VERY VULGAR LANGUAGE/SUBJECT MATTER! READ WITH DISCRETION!

 

 

Soundtrack: N.A.O- Blue Wine 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You’re dead to us.” Sensation tickled his brow as the arms of a woman slumped across his chest. Her warmth was pleasant but there was that nagging touch there on his flesh. 

    “You’re dead to us.” There, the words were repeated and this time it was much harsher. His eyes opened and he grew still as eyes stared back at him. Shouting, he clawed at the eyes with his fingers, startling the woman awake.  

    “What’s wrong?” The woman mumbled, voice thick with sleep. 

    “Don’t say that! Don’t tell me you don’t want me!” The woman blinked as she sat up, sliding messy hair back from her face. 

    “Babe, what you talkin bout? Who tellin you that?” He had gotten out of bed, crouched low by the night table, hands shaking through damp strands. 

    “It’s like the past is coming back to haunt me…” 

    “What? Peter you’re scaring me..” The blood rushed through his veins and it pounded in his head. Turning blank eyes on her, he pointed at her. 

    “Get out of my house.” She scoffed as she slowly started to get up. 

    “You need to lay off the drugs. They fucking you up.” She grabbed her dress and sloppily threw it on. Soon she was out of the door. Closing his eyes, he licked his lips and took a deep breath. Turning on a small lamp, he opened a drawer and pulled out a tray. Crushed up white power neatly put into lines waited for him. Maybe the nightmares would go away if he took one more hit. Not enough it seemed but he’d take it all if he had to. He held a nostril and took the drug into his system. Now… a few minutes and everything would be better. All better. 


******

    Five men sat in a darkly lit room, thick white smoke billowing around the air. Fingers held a cigar while the voices continued. 

    “He has to go.” 

    “Yeah. We’ve put up with him long enough.” 

    “You know he has always been trouble.” 

    “Nothing we couldn’t handle before.” 

    “He’s created a bigger problem spilling secrets no one outside of the organization should know…” 

    “The question is how do we shut him up?” 

    “Jim, why don’t you go pay him a visit?” 

    “He doesn’t need just a visit. He needs to be taken out.” 

    “What about that chick he kidnapped? You think he told her what he told others?” 

    “I doubt it. He is concerned with owning her, not revealing well kept secrets.” 

    “I’m not worried about her.”

    “What about Pete?” Cigar smoke rose in the air. 

    “The girl can wait. That kid needs to be taught a lesson. Regardless of how long he’s been with us he needs to be reminded of the rules.” 

    “How will we do that?”

    “Send one of our guys to get their hands dirty. Then we bring him down.”

    “We don’t do rats. They’re dirty and sneaky.” 

    “This isn’t a rat situation. This is a a setup.” The men looked at the white fur and the scent of expensive Italian perfume. 

    “Don Fiore, what do you think about all this?” The man sighed and rubbed the butt of his cigar on the table, the wood hissing. 

    “We need to figure out a plan and stick to it because the problem needs to be fixed. Pronto.” 

    “Agreed.” 

    “Let’s get started then gentlemen.” 

*****

    She stood by the window overlooking the New York skyline. Hair up and away, a soft silky breeze teased her neck. Shoulders bare, a brilliant white scarf wrapped around her, legs exposed. Smooth and rich like gold with the scent of cocoa butter and almond. Beautiful. 

    “What’re you thinking about?” She blinked as she turned around, arms crossed. He stood behind her, a small smile on his face. 

    “Hm?”

    “You’re lost in thought.” Her cheeks grew pink and she smiled a little.

    “Oh… I was just thinking about the things I could do with Antonio’s money now…” He smiled. 

    “You mean your money now…” 

    “See it sounds so strange to say it like that but I guess yeah.” He chuckled. 

    “It’s in no better hands than yours. You’ll do wonderful things.” He said, coming to stand beside her. 

    “I know. It just doesn’t seem real… like… how do I go from having nothing to having everything like that?” She snapped her fingers.

    “Isn’t that how favor works?” She looked up at him and blinked. 

    “Hm?”

    “It isn’t surprising that you now have what you deserve. Rossi’s funds don’t compare to all of what you deserve but…it’s a start.” He said with a silly grin. She grinned back. 

    “Yeah.” She was quiet for a little while, gripping her pinkies together. 

    “Something else is on your mind..” She glanced up at him and quickly found the floor. 

    “Oh…um…just thinking about my parents. I…I went to see them.” 

    “When?”

    “A few days after the trial.” 

    “How did it go?” 

    “It went as well as it could have. Shaundra has ruined any opportunity she had with me.” He tightened his jaw. 

    “What about your father?” She sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. 

    “Ion know…” 

    “Hm?” 

    “He told me he knew Minako.” He blinked, eyes a bit wide. 

    “What?”

    “Yeah. Apparently, he grew up with her and communicated to her before I got there. That’s how the whole entire plan failed. He said he never intended to let me be taken again.” He grew quiet. 

    “That is interesting indeed.” 

    “Yeah…so I don’t know about him but… time will tell I guess.” 

    “Mm.” She let out a big breath. 

    “Going there freed me.” He smiled and leaned towards her. 

    “As it should have. I’m glad you finally set yourself free.” 

    “I know you wanted to come with me but that was something I had to do myself.” 

    “I completely understand. It wasn’t my place to be there.” The crickets performed a night melody outside, silencing them both. She looked up at him who had sighed. 

    “Guess I’m not the poor little black girl anymore huh? Wonder what mommy would think if she saw me now?” His eyes met hers. 

    “Mother was and still is a fool. She never could see that you had potential to be the brightest star in the sky. Circumstances or not, it was there. And it made you glow.” Her cheeks grew hot. 

    “There you go talkin in sonnets again..” 

    “You’re the reason they exist.” He replied, a small grin on his face. She cleared her throat. 

    “Well… thank you…”

    “You’re welcome.” Her gaze found the cityscape which seemed right beneath her fingertips. 

    “When are you going back to Japan?” 

    “Soon.”  She nibbled at her lips. 

    “How soon?”

    “Maybe in a couple months… one more year..” 

    “I see.” 

    “You look sad…” He reached out to gently stroke her cheek. By now she was gnawing at her lips and trying to look anywhere but at him. He smiled softly and lifted her chin with his fingertips. 

    “I want you to come home with me.” His Japanese made her blink, a confused look on her face. 

    “What?”

    “I said I want you to come with me.”

    “With you?” He let his fingers fall from her skin and gripped them.

    “If I say too much now, it’ll be too soon.” She looked at him, a small pout on her face. 

    “Roto-” He cleared his throat and stepped back a little, enough that he wasn’t touching her. 

    “I should go to bed hm?” 

    “O-Okay..”

    “Good night Rae.” As she watched him glide past her, she licked dry lips. 

    “G-Good night..”

********

    Flashbacks of memories past flooded his mind. Too many of them at once…Too much at once…

    “Petey?” Red bloodshot eyes opened to settle on a familiar face. A brother…his brother. 

    “When did you get here?” The man whistled, looking down at him. 

    “Man, you look like shit Pete. Spent all night getting high huh?” He lifted a shaky sweaty hand to damp hair. 

    “Still coming down off that shit…”

    “I see.” He inhaled sharply as the last of the high left him. 

    “When did you get here? I didn’t hear you come in.”

    “A few moments ago. Hadn’t heard from you. Wanted to see if you were okay.”

    “Yeah man…I’m cool. Fucked some bitches and got high. Same routine.” The man nodded. 

    “But you want Rae.” HIs eyes lifted, gaze growing hazy. 

    “I need her.” 

    “Kidnapping her and drugging her isn’t the way to go man. You made that woman’s life a living hell Petey.” His fingers clutched his hair and he squeezed his eyes shut tight. 

    “I know that! I…I know that.”

    “You need to get a game plan together. You’re a mess right now.”

    “Yeah…”

    “Come on Pete. Give yourself a few days… recoup. Settle on a game plan. Cause frankly, I’m tired of you fucking around with this. Either you make the woman yours or you don’t.”

    “She’s always been mine Jim. I’ve make sure of that.”

    “Good then it’ll be a piece of cake gettin her back.” He sniffed and rubbed the back of his hand against his nostrils. 

    “Yeah.”

    “All right then. Listen, pick up the damn phone when I call you okay? We got business to attend to, we need you here.” 

    “Alright.”

    “Alright then.” Eyes watched the man walk out the door and leaned his head back against the wall. It was time to get back in the game. His memories served both to haunt and motivate him. He couldn’t live with just any woman… it had to be her. Not just any pussy would satisfy him. Hers was one that trapped him and blinded him… he’d give his soul for it. Until it was his again… he’d kill for it. He’d kill for her. 

******

    Her skin prickled and a chill ran through her. She sat up in bed, a deep feeling of dread washing over her. Fingers gripped her covers and she sat still. This feeling was familiar. Both familiar and unwanted. Somewhere… somewhere out there…He was plotting. She could feel it in her very bones. Peter was going to come after her. Throat tight, she felt her eyes well up with tears but held them back. No, this time… she’d be ready. This time… she’d fight to the death. 

******

    Days went by without a sound. Movement so fast, so fleeting but still the only thing he could see in his mind was the brown skin that awaited him. He’d forced himself to lay off the drugs… for a short while. He couldn’t let himself get that low again. No, now he was back and he was ready. Hair freshly cut and styled, he stepped out of his car and walked into the building he’d been stalking for a little while. He’d always been curious to know what it looked like on the inside. Upon entering, a pretty young thing smiled at him with a polite smile. 

    “Hello sir! Welcome to Shoutoii!” He smiled in return. 

    “Thank you sweetheart. Tell me, is Mr. Iwase in today?” 

    “One moment please.” She looked down and then, 

    “His schedule is quite packed today. Would you like to schedule an appointment for later this week?” He smiled, careful not to let it turn into a grin. 

    “Oh, no that’s all right. I just wanted to stop by and see the place.”

    “Are you a friend of his?” His eyes twinkled. 

    “You could say that.”

    “Well I’ll let him know you stopped by Mr..?”

    “Lugiano. Mr. Lugiano.” 

    “I’ll let him know.” 

    “Thank you. It was a pleasure meeting you my dear.” He extended his hand. She gingerly placed her palm in his and he brought the skin to his lips. Giving it a gentle squeeze, he turned on  his heel and exited. Virgin. He could smell it on her. Such a sweet fragrance. If he didn’t want someone else, he’d surely go for it. Sighing, he got into his awaiting car and the driver sped off. Still, more planning had to be done. Now, he had no excuses. Tony was out of the picture. Now there was nothing to hold him back from what he wanted. Tony was such a fool. Looking out of the window, he reflected on the man he had betrayed. 


******

    “Tony was a fool.” Glazed over eyes watched the television as a pretty red head reporter told the dish on the ruined Affinity CEO. 

    “She sued him for all he was worth and won. Now that bitch is richer than hell.” 

    “Tony deserved it. He was sloppy. He left too many breadcrumbs. Too many witnesses.” 

    “All that work he went through to get her and still left empty handed.” Eyes turned to the man as he slowly took a sip of Grey Goose. 

    “They all damned him to hell.” 

***** 

    One by one, individuals from Affinity came to the witness stand to testify on behalf of Ebere Marshall. They all said the same thing: Antonio Rossi was obsessed and would stop at nothing to keep Rae Marshall all to himself. Ms. Marshall gave her personal account quite boldly in front of the judge and jury. Everyone was mum as she told her experience being kidnapped and subjected to twisted treatment. She testified that they dressed her up as a living doll, drugged her and found herself completely unclothed when she would wake. With no one to come to his defense, Antonio Rossi sat quite miserably, face red with embarrassment and perhaps humiliation. Sentenced to life with possibility of parole, Rossi will waste away in prison.”

    “To add fuel to the fire, with news of the sentencing, partnerships had with Affinity were immediately cut off. Decade long relationships were slashed and anyone associated with Affinity were blacklisted. It is estimated that within six months, Rossi’s business will fail and plunder. Well compensated for her troubles, $800 million dollars was allotted to Ms. Marshall by declaration of the judge.

******

    “The bastard’s finished.” In the midst of the chatter and laughter, he smirked. 

    “He deserved to be caught.” Eyes looked his way. 

    “You are heartless Peter.”

    “He was a spineless prick who wanted something he could never have. He did this to himself.” 

    “That was supposed to be your boy..” 

    “Just a pawn who didn’t know he was being used.” He sipped his vodka nice and slow, savoring the flavor. 

    “I’m glad he finally is out of my way. I can get back to what’s really important.” 

    “And what is that?”

    “Handling the business he didn’t have the balls to finish.”

*****

    Thinking on it now made him grin. He’d be the victor. Rae was too much woman for Tony. That’s exactly why he lost it and threw temper tantrums every time she opposed him. He didn’t know her like he did. He knew what made her tick. He knew how to make her obey. Key point being fear. Mix that with pleasure and she melted like putty in his fingers. He licked his lips. He couldn’t wait. Now, what was he going to do with Hiroto Iwase? He wasn’t fond of sharing her with anyone and the way he radiated possession of her pissed him off to no end. He wanted to crush every bone in his body. 

    Better yet, what better way to torture him than to make him sit there and watch as he fucked her until she was bloody, raw and begged him to stop? His grin grew deeper. Then, he’d put him out of his misery by splattering the bastard’s brains out. Sighing to himself, he laid his head back against the headrest. She was the only one he had in this world and he’d be damned if he let her go. She had been his everything. And his everything she would stay. He promised he’d make her the happiest woman in the world. She’d have everything she ever wanted. She just needed to stop fighting him. 

******

        

    Warm air rushed at her, sifting through her strands delicately. She laid hands gently on her table, fingers gripping a small mug of coffee. Adjacent from her, Roto sat in comfortable clothes fingers gripping a mug as well. A relaxing silence surrounded them. Clearing his throat, he took a sip before speaking,

    “I’ll be going on a business trip for a few weeks.”

     “Really?”

    “Mm.” 

    “What do you have to do?”

    “I have to go check on the main branch and see how things have been in my absence. A few meetings, a few other affairs and then I am back here.” 

    “Oh Okay then. I hope you come back soon.”

    “I hope so too.” He snort, taking a sip. She fingered the rim of her mug.

    “The strangest emotion comes over me when you talk about leaving or going somewhere…”

    “You’ll miss me?” He asked, smile on his face. 

    “Don’t ask stupid questions. You know I will.”

    “Aw sweetheart…it’s only for two weeks at most.” 

    “I know but…”

    “But?” 

    “I don’t want you to go..” Her voice was a whisper, hands tight on her cup. 

    “You want to come with me?” She looked up at him. 

    “Go with you? I wouldn’t want to get in the way.” 

    “You’d never get in the way. You know that.”

    “How am I going to have everything ready to go with you?” His eyes smiled. 

    “It’s simple. We’ll purchase another ticket. You have a few more days to get packed. When the day comes, we’ll be on the plane together.” She swallowed thickly. 

    “I don’t know if I feel comfortable barging in on your business like this.”

    “What sense does it make for me not to show up with my COO?” She damn near broke her neck to look at him. 

    “What you mean COO? No Hiroto… that position belongs to Shouchi. Or Daisuke.. Not me.”  He chuckled, dimples deep. He looked down, gently licking his bottom lip. 

    “You’re right. They both deserve that position.”

    “You damn right. And since when did you decide I was your COO?” 

    “I decided the moment I hired you.” He said, his eyes lifting to meet hers. Her heart jumped into her throat. The valves shot straight to her womb. She sat there shook, the look in his eyes making hot flutters dance all across her body. 

    “You…That’s…how…”

    “Hm?”

    “You can’t just not tell me this… what about Shouchi? Daisuke?” He lifted his cup to his lips. 

    “One of them can also be COO.” Her brows knit. 

    “You aren’t making any type of sense.” He didn’t say anything else, just sipped his coffee. Sucking her lips, she pursed her lips. 

    “And to think I was gon tell you I been thinkin bout startin somethin.” The came down, revealing his eyes. 

    “Mm?” 

    “Yeah… Mm.” 

    “What kind of foundation?” 

    “Well…you know where we came from…”

    “Mmhm.” 

    “What if we start an organization that deals with that?” His brow lifted. 

    “We?” Her cheeks flushed.

    “Yeah. I want it to be a we.” His dimples grew deeper with a smile. 

    “What will our organization be composed of?”

    “Education, housing, monetary funds and food to young abused kids who don’t see a way out. Definitely leaning towards sex trafficking and underage prostitution. It could be like a sect of your business..” She paused as she felt his fingers slowly slide through hers. 

    “I like that idea.” His gaze was like a heated candle, making her squeeze his fingers. 

    “Thanks…”

    “It’s needed in Japan too for sure.” She nodded. 

    “Yeah cause there are so many other kids who experience what we did…who don’t have a choice but to endure and no way to escape.” 

    “In Japan, cases of suicide are very high. It’s normal. It is actually an accepted part of life there.”

    “Nothing about that is normal Hiroto. That is a problem in so many ways.” 

    “I agree.” He said, stroking her hand with his thumb. 

    “I like your idea and I think we should implement it into Shoutoii. This could change so many lives.” She smiled. 

    “It really could.” 

    “But…here’s the thing. I would need your help.”

    “In Japan?” His fingers gripped hers tighter. 

    “Surely, I can’t take all the credit for this and run it all by myself?” 

    “I…I guess I could come there from time to time to help out. I mean..I ain’t gotta worry about plane costs anymore.”  

    “Alright then. In our free time, why don’t we sit down and come up with some basic points…goals and things like that. I can definitely assist you in getting this thing up and running.” 

    “O-okay.” She stuttered, silently cursing herself out. She withdrew her hand and turned to look at him fully. 

    “So, I guess I’m coming with you.” 

    “If you want to.” 

    “I think about it.” She teased, sticking out her tongue at him. He laughed and stuck out his tongue, pulling the inner rim of his eye down. 

    “Fine. Do that.” He teased back with a grin. 

    “Get out my house.” 

    “Always kicking me out. What is up with that?” She pursed her lips. 

    “You don’t know how to act. Which is why you get put out.” He sighed dramatically. 

    “Ah.. so cold…”

    “Mmhm. Now, get ta steppin bruh.” 

    “Hai Hai…” He waved, sliding his chair back. 

    “I was going to go anyway. So you really didn’t kick me out.” He said, leaning over to kiss her temple. 

    “Keep tellin yourself that on your way out homie.” 

    “Hm..Call me later?” 

    “I will. Be safe okay?” 

    “You got it babe.” Words whispered on her skin, the wind led him out and left her breathless. Clasping her hands together, she pressed her forehead against her veins.

     What was she going to do? She had found herself with more money than she ever could have dreamed of. She didn’t know what to do with it. A college fund for Erica should she decide she wanted to go. A few thousands for Tre and Amee… A little more for James… Even still, she wanted to do more. Sometimes, money couldn’t be enough to thank those who deserved the world. 

    Lately, unbeknownst to him, she had been thinking about where they stood. He had finally become a best friend again… something she had craved. Finally that had come full circle. She knew she could count on him for anything. She trusted him beyond a doubt and a belief. But…with him leaving soon…could she handle it? They had found each other again…found themselves in each other. And now… suddenly that was going to end. She wasn’t sure how she was to feel about that. She couldn’t help but think that maybe she was ready for something deeper between them. With her 30th birthday not far off, she definitely had some choices to make. 

******

    His phone buzzed loudly, making him jump awake. Hair everywhere and breath rapid, he blew it out through his mouth and irritably grabbed his phone. The number he didn’t recognize. Frowning, he hesitated for a little while. Second to the last ring, he answered. 

    “Who is this?”

    “My, that’s how you answer the phone huh?” Relief rushed him and he grinned. Hana.

    “Why are you calling from an unrecognizable number?” 

    “I got my number changed.”

    “Why?”

    “It was time for something new.” 

    “Ah…”

    “I’m going to hurt you when you come home.”

    “Eh? What did I do??”

    “You haven’t called me in ages! Poor Hisae has been worried sick about you! Is everything okay? We watched the whole entire trial.” He sighed and slid messy hair away from his eyes. 

    “I’m okay. That bastard thought he was going to walk a free man but the system finally worked in Rae’s favor.” 

    “How is she Hiro-chan?” 

    “She’s doing well. She’s a bit upset because I told her I’ll be coming home soon.” There was a brief silence. 

    “She doesn’t know that she’s coming with you?” 

    “The choice is hers. She’d have to give up a whole lot to come with me Hana.”

    “Like?”

    “Her American citizenship. Two, her family and friends are here. How selfish can I be to tell her to give all of that up?” Hana was even more silent. 

    “Have you considered staying there…with her?” Sighing heavily, he turned his eyes out of the window. 

    “I’ve thought about it. At least that way I could retain Japanese citizenship so she could keep her American one.” 

    “Hiroto, I will be honest with you. I want you here at home. But, this is Rae we’re talking about. She’s more than worth it. After everything you two have encountered together, the most important thing is keeping you two together. Whether that is here or there. Home will always be here for you… and for her.” 

    “I know. Thank you for your honesty.” 

    “You’re welcome.” 

    “How have you and Hisae been?” 

    “I’ve been well. Just missing you. Hisae too misses you.” 

    “I’m sorry for the concern. My little sakura need not worry.” 

    “She’s not so little anymore.” His heart stopped for a second. 

    “Eh?” 

    “She’s growing faster than the wind. Soon, she will start junior high school.”  He frowned.

    “Junior high school means boys. I don’t like boys.” Hana chuckled. 

    “Yes it does.” 

    “I’m going to have to come home quicker than I had anticipated.”     

    “Hiro-chan, you’re going to be her bodyguard?”

    “Yes. You wait and see.” 

    “Uncle Hiro the boy repellent!” She laughed, bringing a chuckle from his belly. 

    “The best and strongest there is.” He added, a big grin on his face. 

    “God, when are you coming home?” She said with a sigh. 

    “Soon Hana-chan. Soon.” 

    “Hurry up! And Rae better be with you on that plane! Either way, whatever she decides, I better see her!” 

    “Mm.”

    “Okay…I have to go now.”

    “Kiss Sae for me.”

    “Will do.”

    “Bye.”

    “See you soon.” 

*******

    Glass crashed, making her sit up in bed. Glancing at the clock, it read 2:33 am. She grew still, fear making her stiff. What was that? Who..was that? Every sense on high alert, her ears honed in on every sound. To her horror, footsteps began to travel through her living room. Heavy. Male. Oh God… someone was in her house. Licking her lips, she quietly reached for her phone. Scrolling to Hiroto’s number, she quickly sent a text. 

    Hiroto, someone just broke into my house. 

    Waiting, she tried not to make a sound as she flipped her covers back. Carefully, she pressed her feet against the cool floor. Her phone buzzed. New Message. Her breath grew quiet as she opened it. 

    Do you need me to come over? 

    A part of her wanted him to but… something in her gut told her that it was Peter. And a tiny bit of her wanted to fight back… wanted to defend herself. Before she could reply, he had sent another message. 

    Is it Lugiano? 

    I think so. Her phone buzzed a second after sending her reply. 

    I’m coming over. That bastard picked the right day. 

    Hiroto wait. 

    Damn waiting. If he hurts you, I’ll kill him. 

    She knew he would follow through on his word. Biting her lip, she replied. 

    I know.. Her fingers paused as she heard the footsteps draw closer to the hallway. Ice slid down her back. 

    Come NOW.  

    On my way. Remember what I taught you.

    Okay.  She went to her video record and pressed play and hastily tossed the phone underneath her pillow. Going to grab her glass lamp, she held it up as the footsteps grew closer to her door. She swallowed the fear and flared her nostrils. Now was not the time. She had to fight. 

    “Rae?” His voice slipped underneath the door and she gripped the lamp. 

    “Are you in there baby?” Licking her lips, she kept quiet. 

    “I can feel you on the other side. You’re waiting for me aren’t you?” Come on you motherfucker. Come the fuck on. The door slowly opened and she raised the lamp just as he stepped inside. Without a second to think, she swung it, hitting him in the chest. Glass shattered and she heard a groan as she slipped through the opening and ran into the hallway. Grab a weapon… anything sharp…anything. She sharply turned the corner and sprinted into the kitchen. Yanking open her knife drawer, she grabbed the biggest knife she could find. Turning around, she found him standing there in the hallway, blood soaking his shirt. His hair was disheveled, so very uncharacteristic of him. 

    “I love it when you play dirty baby. Let’s get dirty together.” 

    “Stay the fuck away from me Peter.” He chuckled and stepped into the living room. 

    “Are you going to stab me Rae?”

    “What the fuck it look like?” 

    “Let’s put the weapon down hm?” 

    “No.” He sighed. 

    “You know, when I saw you put Tony in jail and took his money, I was so very proud of you.”

    “I don’t care.”

    “I thought to myself..that’s my girl. He underestimated you. I told him to watch you. Be careful of you. But the bastard never listened. That’s why you fucked him over.” 

    “Why are you here Peter?” He lifted his eyebrow. 

    “My, this time is quite different. You’re not afraid of me.” Good he picked it up. Truth be told, she was shivering in her very soul but this time was different. She had reason to live. Reason to survive. 

    “You thought I was going to fear you forever?” 

    “I never wanted you to fear me. I wanted you to love me.” 

    “You thought passing me around to a bunch of hot greasy dick was love? You thought kidnapping me and drugging me was love? You thought forcing me to suck your dick until I almost threw up on it was love?” Angry tears welled up in her eyes and she gripped the knife tighter. 

    “Rae-”

    “Shut up! You didn’t love me. You just used me. You saw young pussy and used me to gain a buck. You knew I had nobody. And you manipulated me into doing some sick shit. And now what huh? You think I’m going to let you do that to me again?” 

    “Rae, I love you baby. Why can’t you see that? I love you.” 

    “BULLSHIT. Stay away from me.”

    “Or what?” He grinned, stepping closer to her. 

    “You’ll accidentally walk into this knife.” 

    “Come on baby… don’t be mean. Put it down. I won’t hurt you.” 

    “Liar.” Up until now, his eyes were calm. But suddenly they grew hard and angry. Crazy. 

    “Get over here and stop playing with me!” He barked, slamming his hands down on the table. She jumped, breath caught in her throat. That tone… that tone scared the shit out of her. That same tone… that same anger beat Angel to death. 

    “P-Peter….” 

    “Come here.” Tears slid down her eyes. How did she let him get so close? How? 

    “No… No!” 

    “Ebere get over here!” He charged for her and she screamed, pushing the knife outwards. She felt it go through flesh and muscle and gasped, stepping back. He grew still for a moment, almost as if in shock. Glancing down, he looked at the protruding knife in his chest. Eyes turned back up to hers and she froze. Fury. Murderous fury stared back at her. 

    “All I’ve ever tried to do was love you and this is the thanks I get. You bitch.” To her shock, he reached out and grabbed her by her hair and yanked her closer to him. She shivered, heavy fat tears falling down her skin. 

    “How…how did you not?”

    “You forget that I like pain baby. I can take a lot.” He threw her on the floor. 

    “Now…” He grabbed her arms and pinned them above her head. 

    “You’re going to pay for that little cut.” 

    “No…. get off of me…” 

    “Maybe I’ll put the butt of this knife here…would that make you feel good?” He took a hand away and gently pressed his fingers against her thinly covered rectum. She screamed, thrashing her body away from him. 

    “No! You sick motherfucker!” 

    “Yeah… I’ll fill you with all the love I have for you baby. Then you’ll never doubt me again.” He leaned down and kissed her. Bitterness and filth flooded her mouth. BITE HIM! CALM DOWN AND BITE HIM! She swallowed her tears and latched her teeth onto his lip and bit with all her strength. He tried to yank back but that only caused more tearing. His hand let go of hers and she reached up to try to gouge out his eyes. His fist struck her cheek and she let go of his lip. 

    “You want me to kill you don’t you? Why do you keep fighting me?” Blood soaked his shirt and the sight of it made her want to vomit. Paired with the swirling dizziness from the blow, she swallowed, her vision watery. 

    “The more you fight me the more angry I get. Obey me. Just lay there and be a good girl.” Her ears took in a ripping sound. Panties. No. NO…She could feel his blood drip on her stomach and his nose press against her triangle. His eyes rolled closed and he sighed, his blood soaking through her shortly trimmed hair. 

    “I missed my pussy. I missed her so much.” 

    “No….Get…get away…” 

    “She’s ready for Daddy. Let me taste her.” The smell of his blood and sweat repulsed her and she groaned, looking around. What… what could she grab? She had to do this for Angel. She had to do this for Lilac. For Blossom and for Squirrel. 

    “Rae!” She heard a voice shout from the other end of her door. Hiroto.

    “Roto… help… please.” That seemed to stop Peter, whose breath was so very close to her inner thigh. 

    “What is he doing here? Why is he ruining this?” She grit her teeth and wrapped her legs around his head, squeezing with all of her might. 

    “I hope you suffocate in there you bitch!” She screamed, tightening her grasp. She could feel his gasp for air, his hands bruising her hips as he hit her. Die in there. Die. She lifted and began to punch him, grabbing and ripping his hair.     

    “Roto! Hurry up!” The door unlocked. Thank God he found the spare key. Pushing it open he stepped in only to stop in his tracks. 

    “Oh fuck…” 

    “Grab him… Please…” He tightened his jaw and yanked him back. He grasped the precious breaths of life undeservedly and closed his eyes as he fell on his back. She slowly got up, forcing herself to stand. Hiroto took in the blood that drabbled her shirt, the shreds that were her underwear, the sweat that dotted her hairline. The bruise that was spreading across her cheek. Her heart grew chilly as his eyes grew hard. 

    “He did that to you?” 

    “Hiroto-”

    “He hit you.” It was matter of fact. She swallowed. 

    “Roto…I took care of him see? I got him.” 

    “I told you if he hurt you what I would do.” He turned to face Peter who laid on the ground, a twisted bloody smirk on his face. 

    “If you’d walked in a moment later, I would have been tongue deep in her pussy. Eating her very soul.” Hiroto’s knuckles cracked and he inhaled. 

    “You sick motherfucker. How fucking dare you.” Oh shit.. His aura was red, angry and full of revenge. He wanted blood. 

    “I would have ate her until she cried. That shit belongs to me.” Peter slowly got up and reached up to touch his lip which slightly dangled. 

    “Bitch almost bit it clean off. You always were fiesty baby.” 

    “Shut the fuck up.” Chills ran down her entire body. Never had she heard Hiroto talk so quiet before…not even with his mother. His body trembled, his fists tight. Peter laughed, eying him. 

    “I’m sure she told you. About her beginning with me.”

    “I know everything.”

    “What would you have done had you seen us? Would it make you want to kill me? Or perhaps seeing the woman you love in so much ecstasy..maybe it would have turned you on.” 

    “Enough!” She cried out for him but it was too late. He had kicked him and he had fallen to the ground. Hiroto climbed on top of him. 

    “You ever heard the saying that pussy can destroy you?” Her spirit shook. She’d never…heard him like this… before… ever. Peter grinned. 

    “How can it destroy you? It’s the most wonderful thing on this God forsaken planet.” Hiroto slid fingers into his hair and yanked him upward, bringing his face closer to his. 

    “It gives life. But it also can take life. Fuck the wrong one and you’ll be cold and dead before you know it. It’s the most deadliest thing on the planet. Let me give you an example.” He reached down and wrapped his fingers around the handle of the knife in his chest. 

    “Your intention was to violate her body again right?”

    “Until it bled.” 

    “And where did that leave you? Suffocating in between thighs you tried to force open.” 

    “I’d destroy her before she destroyed me.” 

     “Let me tell you the difference between me and you.” He twisted the knife, wrenching a haggard breath from Peter. 

    “I’d worship that pussy like it was the last life sustaining force on earth. Praise it like it was God and devour her until she allowed me to have more.” Her knees grew weak and her mouth dropped open. Oh dear God…

    “That’s the problem with you and men like you. You don’t know what good you have until it’s literally ripped from you. Everything you’ve done to her…it led me to her. For that I thank you. But you wish to teach me about jealousy. I’m going to teach you about vengeance.” He pulled the knife out of his chest and pressed it against his neck, blood gushing from the wound. 

    “What you did to her…you deserve to burn in hell for that.”  

    “Oh God Hiroto please… wait…” 

    “Let me end this Rae.” 

    “No… not… not like this..please…” Peter chuckled. 

    “You’re a weak bitch. Letting a woman tell you what to do.” He swiftly moved the knife into his skin, a thin red line half way across his throat. 

    “Hiroto…baby…” Her voice broke, tears welling up in her eyes. 

    “Don’t…please..” He dropped the knife.

    “Do not come back here. Leave her alone. Stay the fuck away from my office. You don’t know what kind of man I am. I can end you and your miserable life in ways you would never imagine. Do. Not. Fuck. With. Me.” He slowly lifted from off of him. 

    “Rae, call the police.” She stood still, eying him. He turned to face her and at the look on her face he tightly swallowed. 

    “I’m sorry..” She slowly walked up to him and gently wrapped her arms around him. He grabbed her tightly and lifted her into his arms. She wrapped her legs around him and tenderly slid fingers into his hair. 

    “Thank you…thank you so much.” 

    “Don’t thank me babe. I’m here for you…” 

    “I know…” Emotions rose in her chest and she pressed her face against his neck. 

    “When the police come… and take him…. I want you to stay here with me… I want you to sleep with me in my bed…and hold me until the nightmares go away…can you do that?” She whispered into his ear. 

    “I’ll do whatever you need me to.” He slowly brought her back to the ground and she let go of him, looking at Peter who laid sprawled out on her kitchen floor. 

    “Piece of shit.” Gathering the built up taste of his blood and her desperation, she spit it back at him. Landing on his cheek, he groaned. She walked away from him and led him by his fingers to her room. She grabbed her phone from her pillow case and called the police. On their way, she sighed in relief. Sinking on her bed, she turned away from him and curled up in a ball. Tears soaked the pillow and her body still trembled. She felt arms come around her as a warm body pressed against hers. She slowly slid her fingers up his arm, trying to quiet her cries. 

    “Don’t do that.. don’t hide…” Turning, she pressed her face against his chest and let the cries free. He kissed her forehead, brushing her nose with his lips. 

    “I scared you and I feel so bad about that…” 

    “You’d never hurt me…I…I know that..” Her throat filled with tears and she couldn’t talk anymore. His warmth was the sun and it radiated throughout her entire body. Sighing tiredly, she closed her eyes. Within a few minutes more, she heard the police. She kept her eyes closed and in Roto’s arms, she let everything fall off of her. She let herself drift far away.

*****

    Footage of a woman, face physically drained showed on the camera. 

    “Ma’am can you tell us what happened?” Eyes were firm and strong though her body visibly trembled. 

    “He came here and tried to rape me. He tried to make my life a living hell all over again.” 

    “Again?” 

    “He traded me in underage prostitution as a child. He never left me alone. He was the ring leader of the kidnapping that he and Antonio Rossi orchestrated.” 

    “Ma’am can you tell us what the other gentleman is doing here?” 

    “I did it. I finally fought back and I got justice for Angel. I got justice for her.” Tears welled up in her eyes. 

    “Make sure that he goes to the hospital. And please don’t leave anything of his here. I wash my hands of him at this very moment. I no longer fear him…” The camera showed as the woman went back into her hallway. It panned to the man who was brutally injured. Having lost so much blood, his skin was white, veins blue. His breath came shallow and light. Barely there. 

    “Who is this man?” 

    “His name is Peter Lugiano, son of the most deadliest mafia boss in the New York underworld.” 

*****

    As the plane touched down, she held tightly to his hand. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, the skin having healed bit by bit. As they got out of the plane, she took a deep breath. Upon coming to the large windows, she paused.

    “What’s wrong?” He murmured, voice quiet. She looked up. Eyes like topaz, they melted her insides like hot chocolate. Clearing her throat, she shook her head. 

    “Nothin… I’m… I’m just glad to be here…” He squeezed her hand. 

    “I’m glad you came with me.” 

    “Yeah..” 

    “Welcome back to Japan Ms. Marshall. Are you ready?” She felt warm light flood her and she giggled. 

    “Ready when you are.”

    “Okay…let’s go.” He grinned as he headed towards the baggage claim. She was really here… She was back…Her spirit screamed something she wasn’t quite ready to accept. Home. 

******

    The barrel of a gun stared him in the face. It was cold, the ground still wet with rain. Somewhere in the distance, there was the sound of bubbles arising from the freshly thrown bodies. Each breath meeting the air. He stared, his jaw tight. 

    “Something tells me you aren’t playing this time.” 

    “I’m not.” 

    “Jimmy…we can talk about this. It doesn’t have to be with guns right?”

    “No this time it has to be.” The ice from the air coupled with the water brought the coldest chill to him. 

    “Jim-”

    “You ever wonder why they always told you to keep your mouth shut? You never could. And that always would get you in trouble.”

    “Like now?”

    “Yeah. But this is trouble you can’t sweet talk your way out of. This time, it’ll end with your corpse floating in the New York Harbor. Seems you never learned your lesson Pete.”

    “What lesson was that?” 

    “Familia don’t like insignificant street scum like you who can’t keep their trap closed. So, they send me to teach street scum a lesson.” 

       “Who was it Jimmy? Who was the rat?” 

    “Our father sent one of your good buddies down to the police station. Even the big Don got on the stage to play your card.” 

    “Inside job..” 

    “Never trust anyone. Remember I told you that?” The dark water crashed against the banks and he turned to look out on the city line. His eyes had grown wet but he refused to shed the tears. Deep pain dwelled inside but he wouldn’t let it show. 

    “Kill me.” 

    “I’m going to give you an option. Either you take a deal for life without parole or sink to the bottom of the New York Harbor.” As he inhaled, the air zipped and an even deeper pain radiated through his stomach. He gasped and crumpled over onto the concrete. 

    “Make the choice Petey. Life in prison. Or death.” He clutched his stomach and closed his eyes tightly. He didn’t want to die. Jail would have to be better…a watery grave was not on his list of achievements. Sure he’d catch shit but anything was better than being shot like a dirty dog in the midnight air. 

    “I’ll… I’ll take the deal.” 

    “Smart man. Good choice.” Gun pressed to his head, he was instructed to get up and soon got into a black car. What remained of his heart flew out of the window but at least he had his life. 

*****

    “Peter Lugiano raped me.” Those were the words that resounded throughout the courtroom. A young woman fearfully averted her eyes. 

    “Are you saying that this man violated you?” It was a moment before, 

    “Yes.” Somehow he had found himself in a courtroom full of his brothers and many faces, some he recognized…some he didn’t. The same brothers he had made a oath with were sitting in front of the judge and testifying against him. He smelled a rat but all around they all looked like they had taken a piece of cheese. 

    “He almost killed a young lady once. He bragged about it to me. Not once did he feel regret.” Everything out of his closet was tumbling out. Betrayal was building in his chest but he couldn’t do anything but sit there and look on as one by one fragments of his past came to expose his life. 

    “I have court documents showing that the defendant Mr. Lugiano shot Mr. Giamente  DiFranco sixteen times, silencer attached to lessen the sound of his murderous rampage. A crime of revenge for outting him once before to the police.”  Either way you looked at it, the bodies added up and it was all for the sake of the organization. His family. Regret and guilt was nothing. He had found something to fight for and wouldn’t apologize for that. 

******

 

    Mr. Peter Lugiano was admitted into the toughest penitentiary in New York early this week. Reports clam that he already has been found beaten in the prison bathrooms and more that cannot be mentioned live on air. Being that he exploited children in sex trafficking, prisoners are not happy about that and have wasted no time in showing Mr. Lugiano just what they think of him. Sentenced to a life sentence, Mr. Lugiano will spend the remainder of his life in the prison. Hopefully, he can find time to get along and allow justice to be served for his crimes. Lastly, to add, after being admitted to prison, there was found to be a bullet wound to his abdomen area. He was shipped to the hospital immediately. It is believed that this injury was a retaliation from the Mafia as it appropriately happened a few days before he was to start a life sentence. We will report more as the story develops further. 

*****

    She stood outside of the bathroom, the droplets of water from within crystal clear. Only been in Japan for a day or two, they had been staying in a hotel. She smiled to herself. She watched the whole entire trial. His very own people had screwed him over. And now… now he’d be some sweaty prisoner’s bitch for the rest of his life. Now, finally Angel’s spirit could rest. Now, finally they all could rest. 

    “Roto?” She asked quietly. There beyond the door he was, perhaps in his own thoughts. She knew she shouldn’t even want to go in there… but at the moment… she just needed him. She needed him regardless. 

    “Hm?” His soft reply. 

    “Did you see the trial?” It was quiet. 

    “Mm.” 

    “What did you think?” 

    “He got off easy.” She balled up her fists and pressed her forehead against the door. 

    “Can I come in?” 

    “Something is wrong…” He spoke and she heard him sit up in the bath. 

    “Come in.” Her heart beat faster but she slowly opened the door and peeked in. Steam had frosted the windows and his hair was slicked back from his eyes. The water droplets slid down flushed skin. She averted her eyes, mouth dry. 

    “Come closer Rae.” 

    “I…I don’t think that’s a good idea…what if I see somethin?” 

    “You won’t see anything I don’t want you to see.” 

    “You’re…naked…” 

    “Don’t worry.” She licked her lips and came closer, kneeling right next to the tub. 

    “What’s the matter sweetheart?”

    “I don’t know…” His hands came out of the water and cupped her cheeks, bringing her gaze to his. The fire flickered in his gaze and it spoke to her heart. 

    “Be free with me Rae.” She lifted and gripped his wrists. 

    “So many emotions are going through me right now…” 

    “Like?” His voice was quiet and calm. 

    “Sadness. Excitement. Vindication. Nervousness. Even…even desire.” 

    “All normal things to feel right now. I feel the same way.” She sighed and pressed her head against his collarbone. 

    “I really should not be in here but… I can’t stay away…in the midst of what is going on… I’m in here with you…” He pressed his lips against her temple and she inhaled the scent of him. 

    “It’s okay. Now your mind can be free from thoughts of Lugiano. Antonio Rossi. Even your parents. Now you are here and you can truly live again.” Her fingers slid down to stroke the bare skin of his back underneath the water.

    “Yet I’m here frustrated as hell. I want so much… I want you…so…so much.” He smiled against her. 

    “I want you too. You know that.” 

    “Is somethin wrong with me because you’re the only thing I see…I don’t understand…” 

    “Don’t try to understand it. Just let it be real and untouched.” She closed her eyes against his shoulder. He felt so good underneath her fingers. Skin smooth like silk, fingers gliding across like art. 

    “I’m proud of you Rae. I’m proud of the both of us for coming as far as we did. No one thought we would survive but we did. We are.” He lifted her hands out of the water and pressed a kiss to the wet skin. She took a shaky breath. 

    “I finally feel like it’s over…everything…my whole life has ended and now… now where do I begin?” 

    “Begin anew with me.” He whispered against her. Her cheeks grew warm. 

    “Roto…”

    “Yeah baby?” 

    “I think I want to go deep into the depths of the water with you…” He smiled, stroking her cheek. 

    “And swim until we reach a hidden paradise?” She sighed dreamily. 

    “Yeah…” He pulled away from her and leaned back against the tub, his head back against the rim. 

    “That sounds nice.” She took a breath as she suddenly stepped into the water, her pajama shorts soon growing wet as she pressed her back against him, her head against his shoulder. 

    Above, a large skylight window rested, starlight drifting in. She closed her eyes as she felt his arms come around her. 

    “I wanna stay like this for a little while…” She whispered, threading her fingers through his underwater. She felt his lips press against her. 

    “I won’t let you go.” As the moon turned the blue wine slowly into red and starlight, she let the emotions come out from her, written and held sacred and secret on the lips of the man she wanted with all her heart, soul and spirit. His lips allowed her to live and she took breath from his lungs. She turned and pressed her chest against his. Hands slowly slid down her back. She could finally be free now… the final chain had been broken and now there was nothing but him. Him and her. She could feel his body start to come alive underneath her bottom and sighed against his lips. Still too soon yet. She had to leave before she found herself entangled in his being way before its time. His lips whispered against her, some she could understand… some she couldn’t. But the one thing she took with her as she slowly got out of the water and left him was this: New life would come and she was ready…With each kiss, she made her decision over and over again. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply. Taking off her wet clothes, she slid underneath the covers, bare and free. She would choose Freedom. She would choose love. She wanted to soar this time and see where her wings took her.

End Notes:

A/N: Hello beautifuls! First of all, woooo. This chapter have me chills as I was writing it. It was hard for me to write a lot of it. Being the language and subject matter. Peter Lugiano is such a sick individual and I wanted this chapter to focus on him and his delusions. Finally, he got (a little) of what he deserved and for that I am so happy. To be honest, the conversation between Roto and Peter was one I debated putting in here... the language is so uncharacteristic of him... or... perhaps not. I think what he said was powerful even in its vulgarity. It shows just how deeply he loves Rae and appreciates her and her body. The whole time I was writing I was like OOH I JUST WANT HIM TO GO DOWNNNNN MANNNNNNNNNN DOWNNNNNNNNN. And now he has. PRAISE GOD! HALLELUJAH! As you can tell, there is now a shift taking place. With Hiroto talking a lot about Japan and being there with Rae... I believe something new is on the horizon. The America chapter is coming to a close and soon Rae and Hiroto will begin their new life together in Japan. I am excited for all that will bring. Firstly: NAKAMURA TOBU. Like I missed my baby. I missed him so much. Hana and Hisae too. I'm just excited hehehehe. 

So, please leave your comments, questions, concerns and feedback  as always and thank you for reading! I love you all! God bless you! 

Sunray into the sky, bright and yellow! 

Be set free, by the renewing of your mind! 

 

D&L~ <3 

*P.S- Thank you to all who have reviewed and read my updates! It truly means a lot to me! They give me motivation, things to think about and a whole lot of love and laughs! I appreciate them as much as I appreciate you! Thank you for allowing me to grow in my gift here!

Everything Above by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:



Soundtrack: 

Everything Above-Ravyn Lenae 

 

“Welcome home Mr. Iwase! It is so good to have you back!” He smiled and bowed his head. 

    “It’s good to be home! Tell me, how has everything been in my absence?” 

    “Everything has been great! We did think that our stocks were going to plummet once in the previous year but thankfully, they did not.” 

    “That’s good news.” 

    “We’ve been following you since you left us and you have made everyone here at Shoutoii proud! You’ve done great things while abroad!” His cheeks grew pink but he bowed his head lower. 

    “It’s nothing at all. This business has become a passion of mine so I intend to do well.” Eyes turned to look at the woman who sat next to him.

    “Who is this beautiful lady beside you?” He turned to look at her and smiled. 

    “This is Rae Marshall. She’s one of my most trusted friends and partners.” She blinked, now having been included in English and smiled shyly. 

    “Hello everyone.”

    “You two are quite a team. She’s brought good to Shoutoii I hear.” 

    “Yes. She’s made the company better and she’s made me better as well.” 

    “Thank you Mr. Iwase..” She spoke softly, blushing as he winked at her. 

    “Okay, let’s get started shall we?” The lead officer turned down the lights and started a presentation. 

**** 

    The first week was passing quicker than she had expected. Meetings galore it had been thus far but she had enjoyed learning more about the company. It was amazing to see the genuine respect and admiration the people had for him. He was such a pure hearted businessman. He truly wanted to do good for his people. The same way she wanted to do good for hers. Sighing, she closed her eyes. Inhaling the air, she smiled as Roto stepped out onto the balcony.

    “How you holdin up?” He sighed, the comfortable and pleasant breeze rustling his hair. 

    “Better now that we’re half way through the day.” 

    “Glad we have a moment to ourselves for a little while.”

    “Yeah for sure.” She sighed again. 

    “As much as I’ve enjoyed attending these meetings the past few days… I still feel like I’m in the way…” His eyebrows furled. 

    “How so?” 

    “I can’t understand anything y’all sayin. I’m not familiar with Shoutoii like I should be.. I haven’t been able to contribute anything to the meetings but a smile and a nod.” He clucked his tongue.

    “You’re being too hard on yourself Rae.” 

    “Well..” 

    “Don’t be that way. Everyone understands that you are learning. It does not matter if you know the language or not, they see you trying. They see how passionate you are about it. That’s all that matters.”

    “Hm..” She eyed him, the sunlight making his skin glow. 

    “How’s your fam?”

    “My mother has been ill for quite a long time now.”

    “Is…is she okay?” 

    “She should be. I’ve seen to it that she be taken care of by the best in the country.” She snorted. 

    “You sound so impersonal.” He shrugged. 

    “She doesn’t deserve emotion.”

    “What was wrong with her?” 

    “Her entire body was rejecting her. Her heart. Her kidneys.” 

    “Damn…”

    “She’ll be fine.”

    “How is your father?” 

    “Moved away from my mother into Grandmother’s home in Nara. He found out soon after that he was sick as well.” 

    “What’s wrong with him?” He turned to lean over the banister a bit, arms crossed. 

    “He has failing eyesight.. Something also was awry with his kidneys as well.”

    “Did he drink?”

    “Sake like water.”

    “Ah…” 

    “I never would have thought he would have moved there.”

    “Yeah.”

    “I always thought you would live there…” 

    “I intend to someday.” She looked out at the horizon. Bustling and filled with people, Tokyo and New York were so different from the quiet life found in the country. 

    “Last I talked to him…he was doing well.”

    “I’m glad to hear that. He deserves to at least have a chance for a well life.” 

    “You think so?” 

    “Well.. I know what he did to you. That might still be somethin between you two but…I think redemption has been given by his illness. He’s paid for his actions.” 

    “Interesting perspective.” She looked at the cars below as they whizzed in every direction, creating colors that of the rainbow. 

    “Mr. Iwase was the only one that actually treated me like a human being. I am thankful to him for that.” 

    “That’s one of the reasons why I decided to forgive him.” She blinked at him, her cheeks growing warm. 

    “It was?” 

    “Regardless of what he did to me.. he could see the deep affection I had for you. He knew that it was real.” 

    “Yeah…it was.” He drew closer to her until his fingers slid across her back, pulling her against him. 

    “Would you like to go see him?” She inhaled. 

    “Y-yeah we can. It don’t matter to me.” 

    “I think he’d like to see you.” 

    “I’m glad you decided to forgive him Roto.” 

    “Me too.” She smiled. 

    “You inspired him to take courage against my mother.” She eyed him, eyes wide. 

    “What? Me?” 

    “Mm.” 

    “Oh man…” 

    “He’s really fond of you.”

    “That means a lot to me. Maybe we should bring a gift or somethin when we go. ” He smiled and his hands slid away from her into his pockets. 

    “You alone would be enough.” 

    “Aw..well okay then.” He was quiet for a while before he spoke again. 

    “Rae, let me ask you a serious question.” 

    “Shoot.” 

    “Where do you see yourself in five years?” She licked her lips. 

    “Hm..five years?”

    “Mm.” 

    “Hopefully happy with a family and doing really well at the job I have..”

    “Would you like to stay at Shoutoii?” 

    “Yeah…it’s nice. I love the people and the atmosphere. We work well together too.” 

    “I see.” 

    “Why?” 

    “If I asked you to relocate would you?” She licked her lips and looked away. 

    “I might…”

    “What would prevent you from moving?” Her mind raced but she could only think of one thing. 

    “Uncertainty.” 

    “Hm.” Her eyes fluttered closed as lips pressed against her ear. 

    “The unknown is all around us. I wonder if you’ll be ready to jump.” The scent of his cologne wafted across her nose and she inhaled it like a drug. 

    “You’ll be there with me… right?” 

    “You know I will.” She felt like her legs would fall from underneath her but turned her eyes up at him. 

    “You’ll jump with me?” 

    “All the way. We’re Bonnie and Clyde remember?” She sighed. 

    “Just… let me think about it…” 

    “Okay sweetheart.” 

    “Thank you..” He slid fingers through hers. 

    “We’ve got a meeting to get back to. Shall we?” 

    “Lead the way partner.” She said with a gentle smirk.

    

****** 

    “Hello?” 

    “Hey A.” Her feet pulled underneath her bottom, she leaned against the cushion of the couch.

    “Rae!  What’s up?” 

    “I’m great. How you?”

    “We good. We real good. How’s Japan treatin ya?” 

    “It’s just like I remembered.” She said with a small smile on her face. 

    “You visit some of your old spots yet?” 

    “Nah, not yet. We been up to our necks in meetings and stuff so we ain’t really got a chance to venture out.” 

    “Aw, that ain’t no fun.” She chuckled. 

    “Welp with this last week coming up, Roto has more free time so that means fun.” 

    “Good.” 

    “Rae?”

    “Yeah..”

    “What happened? I can hear it in your voice.” She licked her lips and sighed.

    “He asked me to relocate…” For a moment, Amee was quiet on the other line. But when she spoke, she spoke with confidence. 

    “And your problem is what?” Not the answer she was expecting, she blinked. 

    “What?” 

    “He asked you to live there with him and you not sure about it?” 

    “I-I mean… this was completely unexpected. I just got back to my normal in New York…and what about you guys? I wouldn’t want to leave you-”

    “Tre and I are going to be fine.”

    “But to just up and move without so much as a thought-”

    “This happened before. When you were kids.” Amee’s voice cut through her. 

    “…”

    “You were the one who wanted him to live with you. And he punked out because he was scared. Right?” 

    “…yeah…”

    “Don’t be the one to punk out this time. There is nothing holding you back anymore Ebbie. If you don’t take this opportunity to grab your happiness, you would be a fool.” She gripped her phone and closed her eyes. 

    “You’re right.” 

    “The man came back and proved to you and to us that he’s in it for real. If the man wants you to move to Japan, do it! That’s where you need to be.” 

    “Amee…” 

    “Don’t worry Ebbie. Tre and I are only a plane ride or phone call away. We’ll visit you.. and you and Hiroto come visit us. Just don’t let anything or anyone including yourself get in your way.” Tears started to fall and she shuddered, a chill passing through her body. 

    “Okay.” 

    “Take the leap sweetie..you won’t regret it.” 

    “O-okay..” 

    “I love you Ebbie.”

    “Love you too.” 

    “Tell Hiroto Tre and I appreciate him…”

    “I will.” 

    “Don’t come back here until you wifed up okay? I better see the ring or else I’m punching him in the throat.” 

    “Amee!!” She sucked her teeth. 

    “Well..” 

    “You too much. I gotta go.” The sisters shared a laugh. 

    “Bye Ebbie.”

    “Bye boo.”  Laying the phone against the couch, she let the moment marinate. Amee was right. She would be a fool not to go for it. Having their support, maybe she could…just maybe.

******

    Smoke curled around the air. He sighed. He hadn’t smoked in quite a while…a very long while. Tapping the cigarette against the steel railing of the balcony, the cool night air slid through his veins and chilled him. Inside, on his bed the phone rang. Holding the cigarette between his lips, he went to retrieve it. Smiling at the number, he answered. 

    “Hey.” 

    “So I take it that you’re home.”

    “Mm.”

    “Glad you’re back Hiro-kun.” 

    “It’s good to be back. I missed this place.”

    “I missed you too bro.” 

    “Why are you calling so late?” 

    “Ah, I just been thinking…”

    “About?” 

    “You and Rae..” He coughed. 

    “That’s keeping you up?” 

    “By the husk in your voice it’s keeping you up too. Are you smoking?” Caught. 

    “I decided to treat myself.” 

    “It’s stressing you out when it doesn’t have to man.”

    “Well, it’s not just her. A lot has happened this week.” 

    “Meetings back to back hm?”

    “Yeah. I just haven’t found the time to wind down.” 

    “Understood. How is Mommy Dearest?” 

    “Raising hell. She’s much better than the last time I saw her.”

    “You went to see her?”

    “Yeah.”

    “She’s eating?”

    “Remarkably. Nurses told me she’s been so difficult. In true Eri fashion.” 

    “How is everything with the business?”

    “In good standing.”

    “Good.”

    “How are you To-chan?” A sigh was heard from the other line. 

    “I’m doing all right.”

    “That doesn’t sound all right.”

    “Yeah well my parents are getting on my nerves.”

    “About?”

    “They want me to settle down.” He chuckled. 

    “Ah, they want grandchildren.”

    “Any woman will do according to them.” 

    “They sound desperate.” 

    “Tell me about it.. I can’t catch a break.” 

    “I’m sorry To-chan… truly.” 

    “It’ll be fine. What I really want to know is what’s up with Rae?” 

    “What do you mean?”

    “Now that everybody is out of the way, aren’t you going to settle down with her?” 

    “I want to.”

    “But?”

    “I am not sure if she’s ready.” 

    “Do you hear yourself?” He blinked. 

    “What?” 

    “She’s waiting for you Hiro-kun. You know as well as I do that she’s not going to say no.” 

    “You’re..you’re right.” 

    “I need you to make that final move..” 

    “I will… trust me I will.”  Tobu sighed deeply. 

    “I miss her and I want to see her. 

    “She misses you too.” 

    “If I don’t see her before you leave, I’m kicking your ass.” 

    “Don’t worry Tobu.” 

    “All right. So, now that you’re back on home turf, when are we going out for a drink?” 

    “Soon. Definitely before Rae and I fly back.” 

    “Okay.” 

    “Well, I should be going to bed soon. Catch you later To-chan.”

    “See ya.”

    *****

    The second week had started and the feel was much more relaxed. Summer was on the wind and the waves of the silken beach pleasantly warmed their toes. She screamed as he lifted her and tossed her in the cool water. Laughter, the pure and unrestrained type sprang from his belly and her heart warmed as tears came to his eyes, the picture of joy in its highest form. 

    “You jerk! You got me wet!” She growled, a serious pout on her face. 

    “Aw, don’t be mad Rae..” He near giggled as she hit him. 

    “You are such a jerk. Take me on.” 

    “Hai Hai!” She couldn’t stop the smile that came to her lips though as he led her back to the car. Pressing her head back against the headrest, she sighed. 

    “Are you okay?” His voice was soft, apologetic. 

    “You good.. I just wanna wash my hair and get in somethin comfy now..” 

    “I must be getting old because I feel the same.” She grinned. 

    “Popcorn, movies and blankets?”

    “Oh yeah.” He wiggled his eyebrows, eyes smiling. The ride back to the hotel was chill and he helped her out of the car. 

    “Why don’t you get showered and I’ll get the movies?” He suggested as they made their way to the door. 

    “Okay…” 

******

    The smell of her skin made him dizzy. He felt hot with nervousness. Pressing his fingers against the back of her neck, he curled his tongue up at the corner of his mouth. She had just got out of the shower and everything was dewy and delicate. When she’d appeared in a long t shirt and pajama shorts, she was in the middle of finger combing her hair. Eyes couldn’t get enough of the thick wet strands and the way her fingers carefully slid through them. Before he could catch his mouth, he had blurted out that he wanted to do it.

    “Ah… I’m sorry… damn it…” His mind raced trying to remember how she had instructed him. His hands were slightly shaking and he forced himself to take a breath. She had never let anyone touch her hair. But… she had allowed him to.

    “If you tryna braid, do it in threes.” 

    “Wait… show me again anata..” She softly laughed and turned around in between his legs. 

    “Okay like this..” She took a medium section of her hair, still dripping with droplets and separated it into two smaller sections. 

    “You start at the root but I don’t twist or braid it too tight.” She started at the top and quickly twisted it, leaving his eyes stunned. Fascinating. 

    “How did you do that so fast?” 

    “Practice..” 

    “Wahh..” 

    “Okay now you try..” He swallowed and gently picked up a small section and with nervous fingers parted it into two and slowly twisted. Once done, he sat back while she evaluated it in the mirror. 

    “Not bad Roto.”

    “You’re just saying that..”

    “I’m not. You didn’t do bad. Just a bit higher and a bit tighter..” Relief rushed over him. 

    “Thank God..” 

    “You’re too cute. Never did a black woman’s hair before and it got you sweatin.” He pouted, with a sigh. 

    “I don’t know how you do it..”

    “I wasn’t always natural.” She pressed her strands against his hand. 

    “A lot of black women don’t start out like this… but… I’m glad that I got to the point where I embraced my God given hair.” 

    “I cannot imagine not loving who God created and made you to be.” She smiled and squeezed his hands. 

    “Me neither.” He sighed, a small smile on his mouth. 

    “Okay..can I try again?” 

    “Yep.” He licked his lips and tried again, slowly twisting the thick strands down like a rope until he got to the ends. She leaned her head back a bit, stopping him. 

    “Did I hurt you?” He asked. 

    “No…it just feels good..” 

    “My fingers?”

    “Mmhm. Massage my scalp and I’ll be sleep I promise you.” 

    “You’re just telling me all your secrets hm?”

    “Yeah well you bet not tell nobody else.” 

    “Secret safe with me.” 

    “Hm… good.” He slid his fingers through her hair, pressing his tips against her scalp. 

    “Roto, I’ma be sleep…” 

    “Then sleep. I’ll carry you to bed.” He said softly. She hummed and reached up to slide her fingers across the backs of his hands. 

    “We was supposed to watch movies and you tryna put me to sleep.”

    “I just want you to be relaxed.”

    “Was I tense?”

    “No..we’ve had a busy past week. That’s all.” She hummed again, eyes closed. 

    “You’re the first man who has ever had their hands in my hair like this…” She spoke quietly, closing her eyes. 

    “Why is that?” 

    “Hair is a woman’s crown…and not everyone is worthy to touch it…it’s..it’s a spiritual thing..”

    “That’s beautiful.” 

    “..Y-yeah…energy and all that… can be transferred through hair and touch..” Letting her hair fall from his fingers, he wrapped his arms around her and leaned his chin on the top of her head. 

    “I never thought about it that way..” 

    “Not many people do..” 

    “I love learning more and more about you…” Her heart skipped a beat as his lips created electricity underneath her skin. 

    “You’re something else..” He whispered, pressing his nose into the fragranced strands. 

    “Roto…I’m..I’m gonna go get somethin to drink.. you want somethin?” 

    “Go ahead.” He let her free and watched as she padded into the kitchen. Sliding fingers through his hair, he smiled as the fragrances fell across his nose. What she said about hair was such a deep perspective on a simple thing. He wanted to know how she felt about other things. She cleared her throat as she came back into the living room area and he bent his fingers in a grabby motion. She choked on her drink with a cough. 

    “You a creep.” He laughed and stretched, sighing as his bones popped. 

    “Sit tight. I’m going to shower..” She smiled as he got up and ruffled the untwisted parts of her hair. 

    “Okie doke.”

*****

    She twisted the rest of her hair and rubbed some more coconut oil on the strands and then on her skin. Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply. What would she do first with her newfound freedom? She didn’t know what to do first.. Where would she go with the world seemingly at her fingertips? What world would she choose to create? She strummed her fingers across her belly but as she felt her bed dip slightly she opened her eyes. There he was, fresh and clean, his towel wrapped tightly around his hips. Her mouth became the desert as her eyes feasted on the beads of water that slid down his chest. Without a word, he slowly laid against her, pressing his face against her stomach.

    “R-Roto…what are you doing?”

    “You looked like you needed some company.” He spoke softly, wrapping his arms around her hips. She gently bit her tongue. 

    “You ain’t give me no warning or nothin…just came in here like that…” He grinned. 

    “I apologize.” She sighed. 

    “I went ahead and finished my hair. You took too long..” 

    “Ah… sorry. A lot was on my mind..”

    “Like what?”

    “Everything..” 

    “What’s everything?” The brush of his cheek against her bellybutton made her pinch his shoulders.

    “For some reason… I cannot get you being pregnant and alone out of my mind… it disturbs me…” Waves of emotion hit her and she sucked in a breath. That was sudden…and unexpected…

    “What brought this on..?” 

    “I know we haven’t discussed it…in full detail…but…”

    “You want to talk about my unborn child?” He looked up at her. 

    “Please?” She licked her lips and took a shaky breath. 

    “What do you want to know about her?”  

    “Was it his?” He asked quietly, his face hidden beneath his hair. She gripped his shoulders again…forcing herself to talk. 

    “Yeah…” 

    “Fucking bastard.” The hiss came sharp and she swallowed thickly. 

    “I…I was the only one he purposely got pregnant. ” 

    “How did it happen? I mean…when?” She slowly loosened her grip on his shoulders and slid fingers down the bare wet flesh of his back.

    “When I was adopted into the Marshall home, I had to have been a few months pregnant. My stomach was showing a bit..”

    “How did you get away?” 

    “He had been using my baby to keep me there. He threatened that he’d kill her. After one of our many sessions James allowed me to get out while he distracted him.” 

    “If I had known this… I surely would have killed him Rae.”

    “I know…but I’m glad you didn’t because you wouldn’t be able to be with me.” He moved up her body slowly until he pressed his head right below her breasts. 

    “Prison is the best place for him. I’d probably go after him if he wasn’t locked up.” 

    “No cause then I’d lose you…”

    “You’d never lose me sweetheart.” She sighed and hugged him. 

    “Truth be told… I’m scared of getting pregnant. I don’t know if he did anything..if he damaged something..” 

    “Have you had any problems before?” 

    “Not many… but um… it’s just a fear in the back of my mind.” 

    “Fear aside.. do you… want kids? Would you want to try again?” He whispered, almond shaped eyes looking up at her. Her womb replied with a throb. 

    “Um…”

    “I’m delving into inappropriate territory..I’m sorry..” 

    “No..no I- I want them. I think I’d like to try again someday..”

    “You deserve another chance…” It was quiet for a while before she spoke again. 

    “Kwasame and I almost got pregnant once.” His body grew tight but he hummed. 

    “Mm.”

    “It was completely by accident and I was dumb because I didn’t enforce the protection thing. He had insisted that one night we go without and well…soon after I thought I was going to have a baby. I was overjoyed but he wasn’t. I wanted kids but he didn’t.”

    “You can’t force someone if they aren’t the right one.” 

    “Yeah..I know.” 

    “Naturally your body knows who is.” He murmured, voice low as a whisper.

    “Where do you think you stand?” Those eyes stared into her soul and she inhaled sharply as her womb did flips.    

    “If I say what I want to say, you’ll hit me so I won’t say anything. How does your body respond to your question?” A screaming resounding yes shook her. 

     “I don’t know…I let you know if and when we ever get to that point.” 

    “Okay.” He closed his eyes and slid a leg in between hers, his ankle touching hers. It grew quiet again. 

    “I dug way too deep didn’t I?”  

    “It was bound to come up sooner or later…” 

    “It was something I had on my mind for a little while..I just had to get it out.” 

    “I’m glad you did.”

    “Your heart still grieves for her doesn’t it?” She licked her lips, unexpected tears welling up. 

    “She was apart of me…and even though I was young…I would’ve did my best to make sure I took care of her. That’s just how bad I wanted her.” 

    “Rae..”

    “At first I hated her because of Peter. I felt like my body had been betrayed..given something I hadn’t asked for. But Roto…the first time I felt her move…I fell in love.”  Again, his body moved and he lifted slightly, hovering above her, his fists tight in the sheets. 

    “I’m so..so sorry baby.” 

    “It’s fine now what could I have done? I was too young to deliver her safely and probably would’ve had complications anyway….” His hand lifted and caressed her cheek. 

    “You don’t know that…” Her shirt was wet from the tears and her throat was tight. 

    “Can we stop talking about it now… please.” 

    “I’m sorry I brought it up.” She gave him a watery smile and brushed her tears away. 

    “Nah… you good.” Sniffing, she sighed. 

    “I don cried my eyes out so much I got sleepy.” He snuggled against her again. 

    “It’s all right. I’ll hold you until you fall asleep.” 

    “Okay..” She replied, voice little. She closed her eyes as his lips kissed her forehead. His thumb gently smoothed her baby hairs and traced her jaw. Her hands once pressed against his back curled up into a relaxed ball. He watched her until his eyes closed and he felt sleep wash over him.  


*****

    When the sun came into the horizon, he had long since left her. He had leaned down and pressed a kiss to her calve. Lifting her legs, he’d placed them underneath her duvet. Three words he’d breathed against her temple before he left her in peace. I love you.

     He stood in his bathroom getting ready for another slew of meetings. All day, he knew he wouldn’t see her until late. Combing his hair he eyed the strands which had grown considerably. Inappropriate for the business world. It would need to be cut. Sighing, he slid into a white silk button down before smoothing his collar. He much preferred cotton but time was ticking. He shaved his five o’clock shadow and smoothed some aftershave into his skin. That would do. Clearing his throat, he softly came into her room, entering with a gentle knock.

    “Rae? I’m leaving sweetheart.”  She awakened slightly with a groan. 

    “What? Whereyougoin?”

    “I have a meeting to attend.” She sighed, tiredly outstretching her hand. He intertwined their fingers and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. 

    “I can’tcomewithyou?” 

    “Why don’t you rest up a bit? I’ll have one of my drivers escort you anywhere you want to go when you’re ready.” She nodded sleepily. 

    “Yougonbegonelate?” 

    “Mmhm. I’ll see you this evening.” 

    “Okay…come back soon…”

    “I promise I will.” He kissed her hand again.    

    “I love you.” Sliding his fingers away from hers slowly, he grabbed his suitcase and left much to his dismay. Stepping into an awaiting car, he was off. On the way, his phone buzzed. Looking at the number, he pursed his lips. It was a matter of time. 

    “It’s about time you called.” 

    “You’re back in Japan and didn’t let me know.”

    “You’d have found out sooner or later.” 

    “You brought that woman with you I see.”

    “I told you I would.” 

    “She has such audacity.”

    “Where is your fiancé?”  Before he could stop himself, he replied, 

    “Currently back at our hotel room sleeping.” That stopped her in her tracks. 

    “W-What did you say?”

    “Is your hearing suffering as well now Eri?” 

    “Listen here you arrogant little bastard-”

    “I told you what I was going to do. You know that I keep my promises.” 

    “This is unforgivable! How dare you..” 

    “You just worry about getting better. Have things not improved since I’ve been away?” 

    “All of this nonsense makes me want to die.” He pressed the phone closer to his mouth. 

    “We can’t have that. We have to make sure you are alive and well.”

    “She can’t become Iwase…”

    “She can and she will.” 

    “Is she pregnant?”

    “Not as of yet.”

    “Thank God..”

    “You’ll get the heir you desire Mother.”

    “The children of this union will never be acknowledged as one of mine!” 

    “Listen, I have to go. Do eat your greens and drink plenty of water.” Before she could reply, he hung up. He got out of the car, having pulled up to his destination. Smoothing the lapels of his suit down, he walked into the building. He had more important things to deal with than his mother’s melodramatics. It was time to get down to business. Bowing as he entered the lobby, he was escorted to the first meeting on his agenda for the day. 

******

    Eyes watched the cars go by on the freeway. The wind warm and welcoming lifted her chunky twists, taking the smell of coconut with it. 

    “Ms. Marshall?” She turned to look at the kind older man who had driven her here. 

    “Yes?”

    “Are you well?” She smiled softly and gave a small nod. 

    “Yes.” She licked her lips before turning her eyes back on the freeway. Japanese was a taste she hadn’t had in a while and she knew it was old and rusty. She only remembered some small conversational words..barely enough for that. Still, she was glad she could answer the man’s question. Closing her eyes, she sighed. Talking about her unborn daughter had flustered her. She hadn’t been expecting him to ask…much less think about it. Looking down, she swallowed. Her now flatter stomach was once growing… a child within. A child that did not ask to be conceived but only asked to be loved and cared for. It wasn’t her fault but she felt like it was. There was nothing she could have done to prevent herself from aborting her…but it still hurt. It still grieved her spirit. 

    Biting her lips, she tightened her fingers into a fist and straightened herself. It was time to let the fear go…she was in good hands.. Boundaries hadn’t been crossed or breached. In fact they had been honored and respected. When his hands had wanted to touch her in places he had no business, he only balled them up. When his lips wanted to explore and find treasures that lurked beneath her surface, he only used them to smile.

    “Mr. Takada?” 

    “Ah yes yes dear?”

    “Ready to go back.”    

    “Oh kay.” She smiled as he opened the door to the backseat and she slid inside. She had been given freedom…and she was going to take advantage of every drop..even if she had to scream all the way. 

******

    

    By the time he got back to the hotel, he was completely wiped out. Messing up his hair, he untied his tie and let it hang around his neck. Undoing a button on his suit jacket, he pulled it off. Grabbing his suitcase, he entered the lobby and soon strolled up to their room. Sliding the key in, he came into the living space. 

    “Rae?” 

    “Yeah?” Her voice answered from her bedroom. 

    “I’m back.” Soon, she came into the living area, bright and fresh faced. Most of her twists had been covered by a decorative scarf while some of them formed a slight bang. All of it smelled sweet and she looked even sweeter. In a night gown and a thin robe, she radiated. 

    “You surely taking an eyeful huh?” A shot of remembrance shot through his body. Once before, she’d said the same thing. Only it was in a dream. How uncanny…

    “Hello??” He blinked, clearing his throat. 

    “Ah… sorry. Um…h-how was your day?” She smiled. 

    “It was good. I had Mr. Takada take me to get some ice cream and drove around some familiar places.” He lifted an eyebrow as he sat down on the couch. 

    “Where?” She sat next to him, her legs underneath her bottom. 

    “Our high school for one.” 

    “You went way back.”

    “I wanted to see if it was still lookin like it used to.” He grinned. 

    “Did it?”

    “You know it. Straight out a magazine. Shoo, it look better now than it did then.”

    “I’m not surprised.” 

    “How was your day Mr. Businessman?” He sighed and closed his eyes. 

    “Busy. Nearly hectic. But good.” 

    “Mmhm.” He felt fingers slide down his ankle and opened his eyes to find her removing his socks. 

    “Ah…”

    “Continue.” She said quietly, looking up at him. 

    “Ah..well…” She rolled her eyes. 

    “You stutterin twice now… what is up with you? A woman can’t take off your socks?” His cheeks flushed. 

    “I appreciate it.” 

    “No prob.” 

    “I don’t have anything else to add. It was fine.” 

    “So things with Shoutoii are..?” She plucked the last of the sock off of his foot and sat back up, eyes and ears attentive. 

    “Economy is great. We’ve bringing in major sales internationally and domestically. My father made sure it was immaculate and clean when he was owner. I’m doing the same..though my vision is different than his.” 

    “What is your vision?” Her voice was whispery and soft. 

    “I want to make sure that not only Japanese succeed but those across the world. Whereas my father’s mindset was on Japanese, my goal is to unite all colors and creed.” 

    “I believe in it. You’ll make it come true.” 

    “You think so?”

    “I know so.” 

    “Thank you sweetheart.” She stretched out across him, laying her head in his lap. Sighing, she yawned. 

    “What’s up hm?” Fingers slid across her waist. 

    “When’s your next day off?” 

    “I don’t have many meetings tomorrow. The rest of this week I’ll have more free time.” She bit her lips. 

    “Okay..” 

    “Why?” 

    “I want to see Tobu.”

    I was just talking to him. He’d be delighted to see you anata.” She knit her eyebrows and pursed her lips. 

    “What does anata mean?” He smiled and leaned down to press his forehead against hers. 

    “It’s a secret.” 

    “I won’t tell.” 

    “Nice try. Still not telling.” She pouted and sucked her teeth. 

    “You irritatin. Let me up.” His arms came to entrap her and he smiled against her eyelashes. 

    “Stop playin.” 

    “I’m not playing.” She wrinkled up her nose playfully.  

    “Boy, you smell like work…” He grinned. She stuck out her tongue at him. 

    “You smell like islands and seas.” 

    “You smell like long nights in the office…woo.” His fingers pulled her closer.

    “But you smell of paradise and pure gold.” Warm flutters started in her stomach.

    “Maybe you also smell like words yet unspoken.” His lips slid down the bridge of her nose.

    “And you..you smell fragrant like love waiting to be made and stars yet to be touched.” Her breath hitched in her throat. She didn’t say anything else but her breath spoke volumes to him. He wanted to let the aria inside her bloom.

    “Why’d you…say that?” 

    “Should I not have?” That took her breath away and she reached up to grip the collar to his shirt. She leaned up and pressed her nose against the nape of his neck. 

    “I don’t think you were playing that time.”  

    “I wasn’t. I have to be honest.” The way his timbre dropped instantaneously made her hot.

    “Okay.”  She croaked, waiting. 

    “I think it’s time you and I became more than friends.” Her heart beat faster in her chest and she looked away.

    “I want to make you happy and give you everything you deserve. I want to make love to you and not have to walk on eggshells and I know we’re not even remotely ready for this but I want to start a family with you. I just want you. That’s all I ask.” Still, she didn’t say anything. She didn’t think she could. He brought her gaze back to his.  

    “What is it that you want Rae?” She licked her lips and took a breath. 

    “I wanna have a family too…and I just wanna be happy…I don’t want anything or anybody else…”  She felt her cheeks grow warm. She felt like hiding her face from embarrassment. 

    “Don’t do that…it’s okay.” He smiled as she pressed her cheek against his palm. How uncanny that he knew what she was feelin. 

    “I wanna take that plunge and see where we go…” She whispered against his hand.

    “Me too.” He sighed against her. 

    “Now I can call you mine again..”  She pressed her lips against the corner of his mouth. 

    “I’ve always been yours baby. You just had to wait on me a little while.” The sound that came from his throat was strained, a sigh on the verge of releasing his heart. She let her lips finally roam free and pressed them against his throat. 

    “Thank you for spendin so much time to get me back..” 

    “I would have done it all over again if I had to.” 

    “I know..” 

    “I think we should get to bed now before I get us into trouble…” His voice was a whisper and she smiled against his skin.

    “Okay..” He lifted her into his arms and she wrapped her limbs around him. Not a word was spoken as he headed towards her room. Her back met her sheets and she sighed, looking up at him. 

    “Stay with me…” Her legs relaxed, lazy around his hips. 

    “We both know that isn’t a good idea.” Kissing her on her shoulder, he dislodged himself from her. She leaned up as he started to rise from her bed. 

    “We have to be up early so you have to get some sleep.” 

    “I don’t wanna sleep alone..” Their fingers met. 

    “It’s best you do tonight. For your sake and for mine.” She groaned. 

    “Fine.” His fingers brushed her lips. 

    “You’re so beautiful under the light of the moon.” She blushed.

    “Roto…” 

    “I’ll see you in the morning..” 

    “O-okay.” 

    “Good night.” No..not quite yet…One last thing…

    “Say it with a kiss.” Her request was quiet. Her eyes fluttered closed as his lips teased her jaw line. 

    “I’d kiss every inch of you if I could but this will have to do for now.” Fingers tilted her head back, throat exposed. Small tiny kisses adorned the skin.

    “Good night.” Another by her shoulder. Another on a small birthmark. Up he teased, playfully brushing her cheekbone. 

    “Good night.” Curling his fingers around her chin, he brought her lips to his. She sighed against him. Fingers slid up underneath the collar of his shirt and inched their way into his hair. She took the breath that he willingly gave until they both could no longer be connected. Pulling his lips away, he tried to regain his breath, sliding his palms up above hers. 

    “Damn..I can’t feel my legs…” She whispered, breath drawing in slow. He couldn’t contain the cheeky chuckle that escaped. 

    “I’m sure…” 

    “You know what…go Hiroto..” She pushed at him playfully. 

    “I simply did as you asked.”

    “You and your comments again…”

    “One more and then I’m gone. I promise.” He kissed her one last time, liquid heat pooling between her thighs.  

    “Mm…” He hummed against her lips. 

    “It’s time for me to go…” Pulling her hands away from his, she tried to gather her breath. 

    “Good night beautiful.” With a furious blush aglow in her cheeks, she bit her lip. 

    “Good night Roto..” As the door closed, she laid the back of her hand on her forehead. Biting her lip, she savored the tingling feeling…having been kissed..wanting to be kissed again. After everything…they were back right where they belonged. Things would be all right. They’d make the wrongs rights again. His kiss soothed the fear that still lurked in her spirit. They’d handle that as well…After everything and above, they could finally be. Just be. Indefinitely. Laughter bubbled up in her chest and she pressed her face against the pillow as it flowed free, tears of joy streaming down her face. She had finally let his love heal her and now she wanted to return the favor. 

End Notes:

A/N: FINALLY RAE AND ROTO ARE BACK TOGETHER...WELL OFFICIALLY!! YAHOOOOOOOOO I AM SO HAPPY MAN. This means Japan "Arc" is in full swing and we can expect much happiness and warm fuzzies for everyone hehe! Gotta love Amee for lettin her sista know and of course my baby Tobu-channn. Writing this chapter was emotional for me especially the part where Rae and Roto talked about her unborn baby. As a commenter mentioned, it was never clarified (only implied) on if that Peter was the precious child's father. Being that Rae had many sexual partners, it definitely would have been questioned. However, with Rae, Peter made sure she was protected with others (requirement for others..to an extent) but when it came to him.. he did whatever he wanted with or without protection. He wanted to gain the profit from her but he didn't want anybody else to impregnate her (but him..SICK FREAK). Rae never went into detail about it because deep down she is still trying to heal from it. The abortion crushed her and she took it so hard. I have many Iwase chil'ren planned for the two but I think it is a relatable fear in the back of one's mind like... what if I can't get pregnant? What if I miscarry? What if I abort again? When Rae and Hiroto decide to have kids, I tell you it shall be a truly wonderful experience. I can't wait. OFFFF COURSE Eri Iwase had to pop up. She needs to sit her crusty behind down and stop tripping. Seriously. We'll see how things go with her. I'm ready for this next installment. Are you guys? RAE&ROTO forever baby! R&R! WOO! <3 Please leave your comments, questions, concerns and thoughts in your reviews! I may not reply to them but I DO read them and take them into consideration in my creative process! <3 Thank you, love you and God bless! 


**PHOTO CREDIT GOES TO THE AMAZING PIERRE JEAN-LOUIS! 

Homecoming by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

 

Trees thickly shaded the side of the house. Off in the corner there sat a koi pond, the trickling of a fountain evoked peace. The old wooden engawa faced her and as she slid off her shoes and took the hand that helped lift her up, she felt the peace wash over her. Her bare feet met the wood and she smiled. Memories suddenly rushed forth and she gripped his hand. 

    “You feel it too?” He asked, a blush in his cheeks. 

    “Yeah… it’s like the house is happy…”

    “You’ve come home.” He said gently, pressing a kiss to her fingers. The powerful emotion flooded her and she let him lead her in, sliding the shoji aside. 

    “Father?” They passed the kitchen where the old kamado sat and came into one of the great rooms. 

    “Father?” 

    “Hiroto?” They heard a voice from out in the garden. They went back out onto the engawa and soon the figure of a man faced her. 

    “Father.” The hands of the man were dirty, seeds worked deep into the ground. He sighed and turned around. At the sight of her, he dropped the bag of seeds. 

    “Ebere?” His English was accented, but the clarity and warmth within still tangible. She smiled and let go of Hiroto’s hand. 

    “Hello Mr. Iwase.” She pressed her hands together and bowed until she couldn’t see her feet. 

    “My my…” He slowly made his way over to them. She lifted up and blushed as arms came around her. Still much taller than she, he nearly swallowed her up. Fingers gripped his jacket. He smelled of the earth, rich and good.  

    “You’ve returned…I’ve been waiting…” Pulling back from her, he lifted a hand to caress her cheek. 

    “What a beautiful woman you’ve become…” 

    “T-thank you very much.” 

    “My son has finally atoned for his wrongs. Finally, he has brought you back where you belong.” Tears came to her eyes and she smiled gently. 

    “We must have tea. I did not know you were coming.. either of you. I would have prepared.” 

    “I wanted to surprise you.” Roto spoke up, a kind expression on his face, so unlike that in his youth. 

    “Very surprised indeed. My my…” He led the way and the two followed him into the house. 

    “Rae, please sit over there.” A hand directed her way politely and she obliged, pressing her bottom back against her heel. Squinting, she wiggled uncomfortably. 

    “It has been a long while since you’ve sat that way I am sure. Please, be comfortable dear.” Thankful, she scooted her legs to the side of her, hands pressed into her lap. Roto came to sit next to her, his back straight and posture stiff. 

    “You can relax Hiroto.” Instantly, his shoulders relaxed. For a long while, he just stared at the two of them. It unnerved her a bit and she tightened her fingers together. 

    “Mr. Iwase..”

    “Yes my dear?” 

    “Um… how..how have you been? Hiroto’s told me that you were ill.” 

    “Ah. Yes. My kidneys are very bad. Drinking too much sake in my youth caused it.” 

    “Ah..”

    “The doctors told me it was cancer.” Her eyes grew wide. 

    “Cancer?”

    “All is well now dear. They wanted me to undergo radiation and chemotherapy.” 

    “Did you?” 

    “I told them I would approach it naturally.” She blinked. 

    “Your garden?” 

    “Yes. I decided to grow my own foods and use century old family medicinal recipes.”

    “It worked?”

    “Yes. As of now, I am cancer free.” A rush went through her and she finally exhaled. 

    “Thank God..I am glad to hear you are okay..” Lips smiled. 

    “I am glad that my eyes have not yet failed me completely.”  

    “I hope that it can improve.” Shou smiled.

    “Do you mind if I talk in Japanese with my son?” She waved her hands. 

    “No! Please! Who am I to tell you no?” Shou cleared his throat. 

    “Are you two engaged?” At the question, Roto’s cheeks grew damn near beet red. 

    “Not yet.” 

    “Are you being intimate?” The red crept slowly down his throat. 

    “No.” 

    “Good. It is best that way…for a while.” 

    “Father..”

    “When are you going to ask her to marry you?” 

    “We’ve recently decided to reenter into a romantic relationship so when it is time.. I will ask her.” 

    “I see. Very good..” Eyes glanced upon her again. 

    “No doubt Eri has seen her on the television.” 

    “Yes. She called me concerning that.”

    “That woman still desires to get in the way. At our age, you would think by now she would give up.” 

    “After everything Rae and I have been through, neither one of us will let anything get in our way again.”

    “Mm.”  Shou cleared his throat again and pat his thigh. 

    “I believe now the tea is ready. I will be but a moment.” The both of them bowed their heads and soon it was quiet. 

    “I forgot how intense he is…” Fingers slid across the tatami and gripped hers. 

    “He is a bit overwhelming isn’t it?”

    “Yeah…” 

    “He hasn’t seen you in so long. He couldn’t be more happy.” Shou reentered the room with the kettle, hands clean of the dirt that once covered his hand.

    “It is a bit warm today isn’t it?” 

    “Yes..”

    “Mm.” 

    “I have a cool green tea and hibiscus for us.” 

    “Sounds yummy.” Old aged hands poured tea into three small cups. 

    “Please, take it.” She took her cup and took a small sip. Bitter and sweet, an anomaly. Strong calming scent…it was so relaxing. They all took another sip or two of their tea before putting it back on their saucers. 

    “Rae, why don’t you tell me how you’ve been?” She licked her lips. 

    “I have certainly had my share of experiences within the last year.” 

    “I can imagine. I heard the news on the radio.” 

    “I’m just grateful Hiroto was there.” 

    “As am I. He’s a good man.” 

    “Yes he is.” 

    “When my son came to visit me before, he was still in a lot of pain. His heart was empty and his mind was still tortured by the things his mother and I did. While I don’t care for my wife or how she feels about it..I became stricken with guilt and heartbreak.” Roto’s fingers gripped hers tighter. 

    “I began to evaluate my life and I thought to myself: Was everything worth it? Losing my son..was it worth the money, the prestige and the acclaim? It wasn’t.” 

    “Nothing ever is.”

    “Through the hurt, I could see a burning passion inside him… perhaps one he didn’t realize yet. That passion was for you.” She swallowed thickly. 

    “And today it has come to fruition. Today, I feel as though everything is back to where it should be. Time has forgiven you two and now you are allowed to pick up where you left off. That is the greatest gift anyone can receive.” 

    “Mm.” He sat back quietly. 

    “Tell me more about you my dear..” She inhaled shakily. 

    “Well, before Hiroto came back..I was working for a company by the name of Affinity.”

    “As?”

    “Executive assistant.” His eyebrow lifted. 

    “My, that’s quite a position.” 

    “I worked my tail off for ten years and wasn’t promoted not one time.”

    “Your boss did not value you.”

    “Not at all.”

    “But through it all, you made a good life for yourself. You did well.” 

    “Thank you. I had knots and kinks to work out myself…before Roto and I could even be around each other long enough.” 

    “And for that I apologize. He wouldn’t have made such a grave mistake if his mother and I hadn’t have threatened him in such a vile way.” 

    “Mr. Iwase…” 

    “The past is in past. But, I had to apologize to you in person. I am glad that I could.” She smiled and took another sip of her tea. 

    “Hiroto.” His gaze met his father’s. 

    “Yes.”

    “Could you go check on the sunflowers?” He gently put his cup down. 

    “Of course.” He kissed her hand before getting up and sliding the shoji closed again. Alone, the atmosphere grew even more intense. Shou Iwase put his cup down and looked at her. 

    “Ebere, I want you to marry my son.” She choked on her tea, coughing as she put the cup down. He waited, expression neutral as she got herself under control. 

    “Wow…” Patting her chest, she cleared her throat. 

    “I um…I definitely think that is in our future..” Shou finally laughed, a smile softening his still very handsome features.

    “When you were young, I thought the same thing..and that was this: You are worthy of being Iwase.” She inhaled, red flushing her cheeks. 

    “T-thank you.” 

    “The name Iwase carries a lot. We come from a proud family, a family that is full of warriors and intellectuals. The men in our family helped create new eras, though often through bloodshed. We have aristocracy in our blood, having worn crowns and reigned lands both at home and abroad.” She kept quiet as he continued, 

    “Likewise, the women in our family have been just as deadly as they have been beautiful. Strong and unwavering but delicate and warm all the same. These are women who have been queen to a legacy that Hiroto must continue.” She licked her lips. 

    “And you think I can live up to all of that?” Shou smiled. 

    “I do.” 

    “Being that I am a black woman, you don’t think that it will negatively affect the tradition?”

    “While we come from many traditions of old, Hiroto must create traditions of his own in order for our family to succeed. Regardless of what color you are, what is most important to me is your character. You changed my son. You loved him. And you were not afraid to be yourself around him or anyone else. Kind and womanly but with a streak of passion. You will be a fitting wife for him and mother to his children.” By now, her face felt like it would fall off from the heat but she just sat still, trying to take it all in. 

    “You are a good woman Ebere.” 

    “Thank you…” Her voice was damn near inaudible. 

    “Thank you for coming to visit me.”

    “Of course..” The shoji appropriately slid open and a head peeked in. 

    “The flowers are fine Father.” 

    “Ah, good.” He slowly stood up and reached for her hand. Gently putting her hand in his, he lifted her. 

    “If you two do not mind, would you stay to have some melon?” 

    “Ah..” He grabbed Hiroto’s hand and pressed her hand into his. 

    “Um… s-sure.” 

    “I will be right back hm? Why don’t you two sit on the engawa?” He left them in silence. 

    “Seems we’ve both had a conversation with him. I wonder what he talked to you about?” Her mind was still reeling from said conversation but as he helped her sit down, she tried to gather her thoughts.

    “He um…gave me a history lesson on your fam.” 

    “He did?” 

    “He wants me to consider marriage..” Roto was quiet for a little while. 

    “He didn’t waste any time did he?”

    “He really wants us to tie the knot huh?” Roto grinned. She rolled her eyes and laid back against the engawa, feet spread a bit. 

    “I’d rather take my time and love you slow than rush and miss anything.” He said as he laid back against the engawa too. 

    “Me too.” She grew quiet, the birds and sunlight surrounding her. 

    “Roto?”

    “Yeah babe?” 

    “Now that we are back together…do you think your mother will try anything?” He turned to face her.

    “Eri will not harm you Rae.” 

    “How the hell do you know that?” He licked his lips. 

    “I’m making sure she won’t hurt anyone anymore.”

    “And how are you doing this exactly?”

    “I am taking possession of my family estate.”

    “It wasn’t yours to begin with?” 

    “My father once forfeited. Because of this, all of the power was given to her.” 

    “Why did he forfeit his own family’s estate?”

    “He wanted to please her.”

    “By giving up his family estate?

    “She used the love my father had for her to gain access to it.” 

    “That woman is beyond evil.” He tightened his jaw. 

    “When it concerns you, she better stay in her lane.” 

    “Ooh hoo, look at you using American slang.. Being around me got you Blackified.”

    “Very funny.” He replied, tongue sticking out at her. 

    “So, you getting back your estate will do what exactly?”

    “I’ll have complete control over my life and she’ll finally be silenced in the best way possible. She’s done enough. In her old age, she might as well try to enjoy the last of her wasted life.” She smiled and moved the hair back from his eyes. 

    “I’m proud of you..” He blushed. 

    “Son?” They looked up to see a tray up above their faces and eyes humorously peeking down at them. 

    “Ah..Father..”

    “Hello. Don’t mind me. Here you are.” He sat the tray next to her head and slightly bowed. Turning around, they heard him slightly laughing as he turned the corner. He said something in Japanese before completely leaving their site. 

    “What did he say?” She asked, eyes still in the direction he went in. 

    “Silly children.” 

    “Yo daddy is funny…I swear…he is getting a kick out of this.” 

    “You know he is.” She sighed and schooched closer to him, curling her hands up against his chest.

    “Everything is so peaceful here… I missed this.” She said quietly, eyes closed. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her even nearer. 

    “It’s been waiting for you..”

    “It feels so much like home it’s crazy.” He didn’t reply, his lips smiling against her forehead. 

    “Listen, why don’t we eat this melon and get out of here?”

    “Where we goin?” He lifted up. 

    “It’s a surprise.” 

    “Oh?” He smirked. 

    “Yep.” She lifted up with a grin on her face. 

    “Well then…I guess I have to wait and see then huh?”

    “Mmhm.” He suddenly leaned towards her as in to kiss her and she stopped him with a piece of melon. 

    “You ain’t about to lay me out at your daddy’s house.” 

    “Aw, just one kiss? Please?” He pouted, bottom lip poked out like a two year old. She tried to keep composure but bust out laughing, slowly pulling the melon away from his lips. 

    “Your face though!” 

    “You think that is funny hm?” She screeched as he began to tickle her.

    “Roto! Stopp! You gon make me have to pee!” She laughed, tears welling up in her eyes. He joined in on her laughter, tears mirroring hers. He half laughed, half breathed, letting his fingers relax against her. 

    “All you had to do was let me kiss you once..”

    “Shut up you ain’t have to tickle me to death…” She said, her breath just as uneven. In her haste to try to escape him, she had laid back against the engawa, her cheeks flushed. 

    “You ain’t right for that.” He grinned once again, dimples deep. 

    “You put a piece of melon on my mouth.”

    “Well, you was tryna get some suga so I gave it to you. I ain’t bout to have you lay me out here today. It ain’t gon happen today homie.” 

    “So mean…” 

    “Hush.” She glanced at him, bottom lip stuck back out.

    “Aw baby…you really poutin..”

    “Hmph.” 

    “Okay okay come here…” 

    “You might melon me again.” 

    “Not this time…come here..” He slowly turned to face her. 

    “You better not get jiggy okay? Yo daddy is still here you know.”

    “I know.”

    “Okay.” Gently their lips pressed against one another’s. A gust of wind rushed them, knocking them against the engawa. Forced apart, she gasped gripping his shirt. 

    “Whoa…” He though only smiled. 

    “I believe my grandmother wants us to behave.”

    “That was her?” He nodded, a small grin on his face. 

    “Mm. I’d like to think it was.” She cleared her throat. 

    “Okay…welp on that note we can go ahead and get outta here. I’ma take these melon pieces and smash on em in the car.” 

    “Mm.” He helped her stand and once again, they met Shou’s back as he tilled the garden, hands thirsty for the dirt. 

    “Father, Rae and I are leaving.” He smiled, turning around. 

    “It was a pleasure to see you again my dear.” She felt her cheeks grow warm and bowed deeply. 

    “Likewise.” 

    “Hiroto, I know you will take care of her this time.”

    “Without a doubt.” 

    “Mm. Good. Very good.” 

    “We’ll see you later?”

    “You will. Until then my dear.” 

    “Mm.” 

    “Be safe on the road Son.” 

    “I will.” He waved at them before turning back to his garden. And they soon after were on the road. 

    *******

    He glanced down as her fingers stroked the back of his hand. They had such authority over him. They gave him life. As he turned off of the freeway, he stole another glance at her. She had her eyes turned towards the window, the scenery whirling past. Tightening his hold on her hand, he brought his gaze back to the road. The days had came and went and they had found themselves a few days before their trip had to come to an end. He wanted to take her to so many places but decided not to cram them all in. They would be back. He had a feeling that they would be back..and soon. For now, he wanted to tie up some loose ends and perhaps breathe new life into that which was severed. Her eyebrows knit as they came into a parking lot, a restaurant coming into view. 

    “You hungry?” She asked, glancing at him. 

    “Nope. Came for a drink.” 

    “It’s still kinda early…”

    “I’m meeting somebody here.” 

    “Oh..” 

    “Come on.”

    “Is it cool to show up like this?” He got out and went to open her door. 

    “You’re with me babe don’t worry.” She swallowed and took his hand. 

    “Okayyy.” Pecking her lips, he led her to the door. Inside, a few patrons sat at the bar already. It was afternoon approaching early evening so those that sat were just getting off of work. He guided her hand and let her slide onto the bar stool. Sitting beside her, he messed up his hair a bit. A pretty waitress cruised over, eyes all over him. 

    “May I get you something sir?” 

    “Ah, not yet. I am waiting for someone else.” She bowed her head and glanced Rae’s way. 

    “Is she waiting for someone as well?” 

    “She’s with me.” 

    “Ah… okay.” She left them with a bow. Rae strummed her fingers against the bar top. 

    “Would you like something to drink?” She looked his way. 

    “Um… nah. I’m good.”

    “Okay.” Things grew quiet until she heard another male voice speak behind her.

    “Hiro, who is this next to you?” Turning, her mouth dropped open. She screeched loudly and got up, jumping onto the man. 

    “TOBU?!”

    “Rae?” She eyed him from head to toe and shook her head in disbelief. Brotha had grown up into a fine ass man. The once lanky awkward kid had grew into his tallness and it looked good on him. Still slender but he had muscle now to back it up. She eyed his face. Baby fat all gone, all that remained was chiseled jaw and gorgeous high cheek bones. She swallowed thickly and felt tears come to her eyes. 

    “Hiro..” He turned to look at him, eyes having grown watery too. 

    “Surprise To-chan.” He sniffed and pulled her against him, arms tight around her. 

    “I missed you Rae…I missed you so much.” She inhaled his scent, tears of her own threatening to fall. 

    “I missed you too Bu.” He sighed against her and slowly let go of her. 

    “I can’t believe it…It’s really you. You’re really here…” She smiled and nod, sniffling. 

    “Yeah I’m here… I’m back.”

    “You can forget about leaving. I won’t let you go.” She laughed softly. 

    “This won’t be my last time here. I promise.”

    “Hiro-kun, you didn’t tell me you were going to bring her here.” He said, teary eyes upon his friend. Roto stood there, the biggest smile she think she’d ever seen on his face. 

    “That’s the point of a surprise To-chan.” He reached up to wipe his eyes. 

    “When you left… I felt like a part of me died. And now you’re back.” Her heart grew warm. 

    “Aw Bu…”

    “No, I almost kicked his ass that day. It took me a while to even talk to him again after what he did to you. But, I forgave him. It hurt me to not be around someone I practically grew up with so I gave him another chance. At the promise that he would make things right with you. Then and only then would things between us be restored.” 

    “Tobu..”

    “I’ve been there for him through it all. I had to make sure he got his act together. With you, he had to make sure he was on point.” She grinned, so wide that her cheeks hurt. 

    “You did a damn good job cause bruh came correct this time.”

    “As he should have.” She let go of his hand. 

    “So uh… when yo English get fluent Mister Nakamura?” Reminiscent of their youth, sure enough his cheeks grew pink. 

    “Ah, I went to university in the States for a little while…”

    “Oh really?” The blush grew. 

    “Yeah. Don’t sound like I did when we were kids huh?”

    “You sound just like my baby Bu. Just older and more confident.” She replied, pinching his cheek. 

    “I believe this is an appropriate time for a drink.” Roto spoke up behind them, leaning back against the bar. 

    “Oh hell yeah. I’ll toast to this.” Tobu replied, a boyish grin on his face. 

    “Lookit you… don went to America and got bold huh?” She teased, poking his arm. The boyish grin grew deeper. 

    “I assure you Ms. Marshall, I’ve always been this way. Just kept it well hidden.” 

    “Coulda fooled me. You were the shyest thing in high school.”

    “Those are always the ones you have to watch out for aren’t they?” He winked at her, chuckling. 

    “You still flirty as hell I see.” She said with a laugh. 

    “Can’t help that one.” She laid her head on his shoulder and he wrapped an arm around her. 

    “I don’t want you to go.” She whispered, a serene smile coming to her lips. 

    “If I could stay with you, I would.” He responded, taking a small sip of his sake. 

    “The trio is back hm?” Roto mused, a grin on his face. Tobu’s grin matched his.

    “Damn right.” 

    “It’s official then boys.” She said with a grin of her own. As the guys drank and had a good time, she sat and enjoyed the both of them. It was oh so good to be back. It was like high school all over again. Both Roto and Tobu red faced and kidding around, laughing and joking. And then there was her, like a mother hen watching over her two babies. When it was time to leave, she hugged Tobu tightly, feeling warm as he laid his cheek against the top of her head. 

    “When are you leaving?” He asked, voice low but warm. 

    “Like two days..” 

    “Well then I guess for now this is goodbye.”

    “No, it’s a mata ne.” He smiled and pulled away. 

    “That it is.” Sighing, he let her go and went up to Roto. 

    “This is the best thing you ever could have done for me Hiro.” Roto smiled and said something back. 

    “You out of everyone deserved to see her the most. It’s the least I could do To-chan.” Tobu gently pat his shoulder. 

    “Bye you two.”

    “See you later Bu bu..”

    “Definitely not later. Soon.” He waved and left, leaving her with a full heart. 

    “Thank you.” She said softly, turning as he came next to her. 

    “It’s nothing at all. He really missed you and you missed him. Before we left, I wanted you to see each other.”

    “I can’t wait to come back so we can actually hang out.”

    “Mm.” 

    “What you did was sweet.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek. He flushed. 

    “It’s no problem babe.” She slid her fingers through his. 

    “Why don’t we go back to our hotel room and I cook you somethin nice? Chill out and actually watch some movies?”

    “Oho you’re spoiling me huh?”

    “Ya damn right. You deserved it.” 

    “You’ll make anything?”

    “Name it.” He grinned. 

    “Soul food.” She bust out laughing. 

    “Now how in the heck am I going to make soul food here?”

    “Can it be done I wonder?”

    “Look, I make you some soul food when we go back to the States how bout that?” He sighed. 

    “Fine.”

    “What else you want?”

    “Somen.”

    “Somen with cucumber?”

    “Mm.”

    “Okay. That’s doable.”

 ******

    Rain beat against the window. The water splashed against the side of a curb as a car rushed by. The people below but small specks…some with clear overheads. 

    “Mr. Iwase?” He turned his attention to a older man and bowed. 

    “Yes.”

    “I take it you want to continue the proceedings?”

    “Yes. I would like to have them finalized before I leave Japan.”

    “All right. Why don’t we get started?” 

    “Lead the way.”  The man led him back to his office and he gently closed the door. Sitting down, he sighed. The next morning he had awakened having left Rae’s side and decided to handle his business. Other business that needed the most priority. He was going to finalize gaining control of his estate. It was now or never. Turning his eyes on the man, he sat straight and stiff in his chair, listening to him as he started to speak.

    “As stated before, most of the paperwork was completed in the United States. All we need  to do now is go over a few more papers and a signature.” 

    “All right then.”

    “Are you sure you want to do this Mr. Iwase?” 

    “You ask me this every time.”

    “I know but it is something that cannot be undone.”

    “I am well aware of that.” The man nodded and stood up. 

    “I will be right back. I will go retrieve the rest of the papers.” 

    “Take your time.” As the man left, he gripped his hands together. Jaw tight, he glanced out of the window. The sakura were in full bloom and he watched as petal after petal drifted to the ground. Much like the petals, soon she would have to fall as well. She was the biggest fraud he knew and he wouldn’t stop until he exposed her for exactly what she was. Up until now, she had played her part well. She thought no one would come to know or find out. But through the years, the woman known as Eri Iwase had grown sloppy. Obsessed with Rae, she had taken her eyes off of the one thing she had kept hidden. And now, it would be put on before the whole entire world. Finally, she would get what was coming to her. And this time, it had been her own doing. Inhaling deeply, he sat up straighter as the man returned with the papers. 

    “Here we are. If you would, please look them over and make sure everything is correct.” He went over the documents he had reviewed and signed while in the States. Everything so far was good. 

    “It is correct.”

    “Great! Now, in the matters of care and marital status I know you haven’t quite yet touched either one of those.” 

    “We can complete that now.”    

    “Will you still be wedding Miyamae Noa?” 

    “No. I never intended to marry her from the beginning.”

    “A notation surely by Mrs. Iwase then.”

    “Without a doubt.”

    “Are you going to wed?”

    “Yes.”

    “To whom?”

    “Ebere Marshall.” 

    “By the sound of her name she is not Asian. Is she American?”

    “She is.”

    “Caucasian-American?” He chuckled to himself. 

    “Why is it that everyone assumes that she is Caucasian?” The man blinked, truly dumbfounded. 

    “Ah….no-no reason at all…” He leaned forward on the desk. 

    “She is African-American.” That made the man pause and for a moment, he couldn’t say anything. 

    “Is there something wrong?”

    “No. Of course not. I will document it.”

    “Please do.”  A few more minutes turned into an hour and at last, all that remained as a signature. 

    “If you would, please sign the last page and we can go ahead and get this finalized for you.” He took a deep breath and signed his name in silky black ink. Finally on that dotted line stood everything. Everything that had once meant misery now meant freedom. It meant the world. No limitations. 

    “It is done.” Eyes were firm. 

    “Understood. Thank you.” Hands shook and soon the sun appeared to him, its light bright upon his cheek. Tightening his fists, he slid into the backseat of a company car. Eyes wet, he bit his lips before pulling out his phone.

    “Hiro-kun..what’s up?”

    “I finally finished it.”

    “The papers for the estate?”

    “Yeah.”

    “How’s it feel?”

    “It feels damn good.”

    “You finally have your freedom. Now, there is nothing that your mother can say or do that can hurt you anymore.”

    “The same thing she tried to use against me as a child has been reclaimed. I couldn’t have done it without my father’s vote.”

    “Yes. While Eri might be the matriarch in every other sense of the word, this is one thing she just could not touch. That said, what are you going to do about her?” 

    “I’ll figure that out.”

    “Once she hears of what you’ve done, all hell is going to break loose.”

    “I’m ready for that.” 

    “If you need me, I’ll be there man.” 

    “I know.” 

    “Well, this certainly calls for a drink. But, I don’t want you to get drunk. Rae’ll have my ass.” 

    “I won’t be too careless.”

    “All right then. Meet up at the usual?”

    “You got it.”

    “All right.”

    “See you then.” 

    “See you then.”

******

    Finally, they had come to the last day of their two week stay. She didn’t want to leave. Humming to herself, she pinned her hair up away from her face and smoothed her dress down. Laying a small amount of gel on her baby hairs, she brushed it into a cute decorative pattern. She heard his voice call from the living room area.

    “Are you ready?”

    “Comin.” Balling up her lips, she smoothed in the lipstick and checked herself one last time before coming into the living room. He was standing by the window, hand in the pocket of his jeans. She slowly came behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He turned to look down at her. 

    “You look like you’re deep in thought.” She said quietly, glancing up at him. 

    “A little bit.” 

    “Bout what?” He reached down and caressed her shoulder. 

    “I finally got ownership of the Iwase estate.” She tightened her grip, smiling. 

    “That’s awesome!” 

    “Mm.”

    “You don’t look so happy.”

    “Believe me..I am. It’s just a strange feeling.”

    “The freedom?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Now you know where I’m comin from.”

    “But it feels so good to not have to worry.”

    “It does.” He sighed and slid his hand across her back, pulling her against him.     

    “Well my lady..are you ready for our last day out?” She nodded, a bright smile on her face. 

    “Yep…”

    “Let’s go.” Fingers tightly intertwined, they headed out into the midday sun, the sky blue as a ocean and the clouds as pillows. 

*******

    The buildings were so familiar and memories of rain, cold breath and warm kisses fluttered across his mind like butterflies. He knew just where he wanted to take her on her last day. Delving deeper into territory he hoped she remembered. He drove past narrow streets and small mini marts and laundry mats. Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced at her to see if she remembered. Nothing as of yet. He smiled to himself and continued on, houses growing far away. Soon, the cityscape was in the distance and all around, countryside surrounded them. She knit her eyebrows, looking at him. 

    “Roto, where are we?”

    “You don’t remember?”

    “Nuh uh.” 

    “Wait and see.” They kept going until he pulled off the freeway, driving onto a dirt road. She looked around and suddenly, she sat up straighter. 

    “You didn’t.” Grinning, he said nothing as he got out of the car. Coming around to her side, he opened the door. 

    “You remember now?” Reaching for her hand, he helped her out. 

    “How could I forget? This is where everything began.” The sound of water trickling in the background rushed to her ears like wind hitting a train. Her scream, his hand tightly glued to hers, kisses creating liquid sparks in deep blue underway played out before her eyes. She thought if she ever saw this place again, all she would be able to think about was Emi. But, that non factor was the farthest thing on her mind. 

    “You drove all the way out here..to show me this place?” 

    “Not just this place.”

    “Then what?” He smiled. 

    “Come on.” Grabbing her hand, he led her into the brush, a clear dirt path ahead. Rich swirling green surrounded them on both sides, the smells and moisture from a past rain prickled their skin. 

    “Roto..”

    “Just follow me.” He led her deeper into the clearing until they were met with a small field, trees as high as you could see or count. He heard her intake of breath and turned, placing her hand on his chest. 

    “This is new isn’t it?” She looked around, so much green. so much earth. 

    “Hiroto, this is beautiful.” He smiled and twisted a curl of hers around his finger. 

    “You haven’t seen anything yet. Just wait.” He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her flush against him. She sighed and closed her eyes, slowly leaning back, her arms lifting to taste the wind. Her back an arch, she smiled softly, her neck exposed, head back. 

    “What does it feel like?” He asked, sliding a hand up her back a bit. 

    “Release.” 

    “From?” 

    “Everything.” 

    “And?”

    “Liberation.”

    “From?” 

    “You and me.” She breathed, revealing more of her neck as his lips came to glide across the skin. 

    “It feels good doesn’t it?” She smiled a bit, the wind rustling her dress. But his hands pressed flat against her, remained so solid. 

    “Mmhm.”

    “Baby?”

    “Hm?”

    “Open your eyes.” Slowly, her eyes opened and she gripped him. It seemed as though a million butterflies flooded around them, wings having taken flight. Colors in every shade, soft pinks, yellows, even deep purples billowed up and up into the sky. She had lost both breath and feeling in her feet, the sight just that astonishing. 

    “Roto…”

    “Hm?” She slid her hand up around his neck, her curls teasing his nose. 

    “I’ve never seen anything like this..” 

    “It happens every summer. A lot of people forget that this place exists. I used to come here with my grandmother.”

    “Wow..”

    “Since I was a kid, we came here every year. It’s been so long and yet it looks as if nothing has changed. It’s still the same place, frozen in time.” 

    “That’s beautiful.” He smiled, his fingers sliding down her cheek. 

    “It can’t compare to you.” She reached up to grip his wrist. 

    “I want to take you one more place…”

    “There’s more?”

    “Mmhm.” 

    “Okay…just lead…” She stood on her tip toes, lightly pressing her lips against his. A playful brush, wanting but not wanting enough. 

    “I’ll follow okay?” He didn’t say anything as he finally connected his heart to hers. She sighed against his mouth. Always so polite, always so strict…in this new way… she wanted to take the smallest risk. She grabbed his hands and slowly led them down her back. 

    “You’re going to get me in trouble.” He whispered against the corner of her mouth. 

    “A little can’t hurt.” Finally, they had reached her destination. Warm bled into her skin and she let her hands go, sliding back up to his neck. His hands however didn’t move. 

    “Rae..”

    “Hm?”

    “Why are you teasing me?”

    “Cause.” He gripped the flesh underneath his palms and pressed her against him, taking her breath with a kiss. 

    “Don’t tease me…I might not take too kindly to it.” He lifted her into his arms and she wrapped her legs around his hips, pressing her face into his smooth silky strands. 

    “You started it.”

    “I might finish it before we get back to the car.” 

    “I want you to.” Honesty was always the best wasn’t it? He groaned, gripping her a little tighter. 

    “This won’t do. Not here.” 

    “Then where?”

    “I won’t tell you.” He slowly slid his fingers up her spine, sensation making her hum.

    “I will tell you what we’re going to do…we’re going to go back to the car.” 

    “And do what?”

    “Drive away.”

    “That’s all?” 

    “Don’t suggest anything else. I just might take you up on it.” A shiver went through her as she pressed against his body, her fingers balling up his shirt. 

    “O-okay. Driving sounds good.” She bit her lip. Woo shit. Her body screamed for him but she had to quiet it down.

    “I think it does too.” His voice was no longer playful nor was it light and airy. A man brought to the gate of temptation, he had to choose which way he would go. 

    “Okay.” He slowly put her feet on the earth again but before he let her go, he leaned down and kissed her one more time. She gripped his forearms as he squeezed her, deepening the kiss. Her world tilted, spun around the earth and high up into space; it revolved all around him. She was high already and didn’t think she wanted to come down. He suddenly let his hands fall away from her and soon he withdrew his lips as well. Bruised and flushed, he bit them before he cleared his throat. 

    “Let’s go.”  She intertwined their fingers and let him guide her back to the car, the wind rushing to bid them farewell. 

*****

    Hands deep in soil pulled out rotten weeds. Sweat beating on the brow, am arm wiped the perspiration away. 

    “Ma’am, you have a visitor.” She looked up, confusion on her face. 

    “Who is it?” 

    “A man and a woman.” 

    “A man and a woman who?” 

    “Ma’am, please just follow me.” She pursed her lips and took off her apron. The man led her through a lower section of a building full of plants, flowers and other lush greenery. Up into the main building, she came until she faced the big ornate doors. 

    “Open it.” The man pulled the doors apart and the woman turned. As she turned around tears welled up in her eyes and she froze. Rae.

End Notes:

A/N: Hey y'all!!! This chapter was a pleasure to write! I wanted to have Rae meet Shou again lol. He is such a TRIP! You know he love them kids together it is TOO funny lol! haha. He got straight to the point like Rae, you need to marry my son and quit playin cause uh...lol. I want me some grandbabies. You know that's what he gon ask fer next lol!!! When y'all gon procreate.. lol. Shou is hilarious!!! As for my baby Tobu HE FINALLY RETURNS! YASSSSS! I got pictures of the man visually accompanying Tobu's character too YAS. lol. I got more in store so stay tuned! The last bit 'tween R&R at the end..(THEY SO CUTE I CANNOT LIKEEEE QUIT) I think personally that it was beautifully erotic without being either vulgar or extra. Like... that is how Hiroto and Rae are... the simplest touch means so much and they feel it with their entire being and soul. Touch is more than touch and each one transcends! The simple act of him grabbing her bottom speaks on so many levels... and I wonder if you can catch it. <3  On a side note, I am so proud of Roto for finally getting back what belonged to him! Eri Iwase (I assure you) will not be in the way too much longer. Speakin of her, I wonder.... what is she hiding? What is it that Roto knows?? Lastly (and an end to my rambling LOL), I wonder who that was who saw Rae at the end of the chapter? Come on y'all, y'all know!  Hana and Hisae are coming up too. It's 1:07 am and I been up since 7 the previous day. To make a long story short, I adore this chapter and I adore you all for reading! God bless and thank you! Love you! New chapter is in the works as I type :) (I'm on a roll woowee. :D) Any comments, concerns, questions and thoughts leave them in the review! Good night, love you all! 

D&L <3 

Pictures: 

Yuzuru Hanyu as Tobu (PREPARE FOR A SPAM CAUSE TOBU IS MY BABY Y'ALL...) 

 

I also wanted to include the outfits worn in this chapter: 

Rae's outfit: 

Sakaguchi Kentaro wearing Hiroto's outfit: 

 

THAT'S ALL FOLKS! <3 

Saikai Suru by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

Once the door opened, suddenly everything came into perspective. Her heart slammed into her chest and she dropped her purse. Eyes so warm and familiar stared at her and hands pressed delicately against her stomach. Hair black as the richest ink, silver softly dusting throughout. Tears came to her eyes instantly and she couldn’t control her body as it ran towards the woman, her arms outstretched. As her arms folded across her, she let the cries inside her chest free, the tears flowing down her cheeks. 

    “Minako….” Her warm feminine scent bathed her and she inhaled sharply, cries clogging her throat. 

    “Rae!” She held on to her tightly and let the love overflow in waves around her. Minako’s hands reached out to cup her cheek. 

    “You finally came back home.” Her eyes turned to Roto and he stood up straighter, a blush creeping into his cheeks. 

    “You have finally grown into a man I can respect.” He bowed lowly, hands pressed flat against his thighs. 

    “Dozo Dozo. Come in, please.” She waved her hand towards her and she hooked her arms around her as she led her inside the home. 

    “Is this your house?” She asked, taking a look around the place. 

    “Yes.”

    “What do you do?” Mina smiled, wrinkles forming at the corners of her eyes. 

    “I have a topiary garden and make small trinkets for tourists.” 

    “That’s awesome.” She hugged her closer. 

    “My brother specializes in decorative sword making and makes them here as well.” 

    “Wow…”

    “It is something my family has done for generations. How fitting that now we can do the same like generations before us.” Mina stopped walking and sighed contently, taking in her from head to toe. Eyes twinkled. 

    “You’re different now Rae. You glow.” She blinked, heat growing in her cheeks. 

    “I do?” Minako grabbed her hands and squeezed gently. 

    “Yes. Your spirit no longer reeks of grief, hurt and abandonment. Now it is full of joy, certainty, and promise. You left me a little girl, hurt and bruised from the world. Now you return to me a woman who knows who she is.” She eyed Roto who stood behind her. 

    “How can I thank you for bringing my daughter back to me?”

    “Your smile is enough for me Mina-dono.” She reached for him. 

    “You are so very kind.” Gently cupping his cheeks, she kissed his forehead. 

    “Let me show you around.” She grabbed the both of them and took them outside into the one of the many gardens. A girl who had her arms spread, legs in a walking motion, dress stopping just below her ankles caught her attention. All around her, there fluttered carved butterflies of different colors, trimmed to imitate movement.

    “Mina…you made these?”

    “Mm. This one is inspired by you.” 

    “What does this represent?” 

    “It represents the innocence and beauty of a girl, her spirit as free as the wind.” 

    “Whoa.” 

    “I created it a few years ago. I never told anyone what it truly meant… not even my husband.” She blinked. Wait…

    “You remarried?” Minako blushed prettily. 

    “Yes.” Rae lit up. 

    “Who don snatched up my Mina-chan?” Minako waved her hand, having grown embarrassed. 

    “Rae-chan… please.”

    “I got to see him!” She blushed deeper.

    “We’ll meet him soon.” 

    “Good.”

    “In the meantime, we must sit down and talk.. it’s been so long.” She wrapped her arms around her and together, they all went outside through the back shoji. The smell of iron hit them and out in an alcove, there was a man who lifted a large hammer and pounded the hot metal. 

    “Rae-chan, Hiroto-kun, this is Shigure, my brother.” He paused at hearing his name. He looked at them both with an uncanny air of familiarity. 

    “Shigu-chan, this is Rae and Hiroto.” He put down the hammer and wiped his forehead, his hands and clothes black with soot. 

    “Hello.” Hiroto spoke up, bowing. He bowed his head to them both. 

    “Hello. Finally, I get to meet you both. Minako has told me so much about you two.”

    “Yes. Mina-dono took very good care of her.”

    “Now that she is back, all is right.” Minako said with a smile.

    “She is a pretty young woman. I can tell that your love nourished her Minako.”

    “Hello, I’m still here!” The men cleared their throats and Mina chuckled. 

    “Sorry…Shigu says hello.”

    “It’s nice to meet you Mr. Hifune.” Shigure blinked in surprise, a small smile coming to his face. 

    “You know Japanese?” He asked, voice heavily accented. 

    “Some.”

    “Ah, good. Nice to meet you.” She bowed and waved goodbye as Mina pulled her along. Green surrounded them everywhere and it was dreamy, such life beheld there. All around, she feasted on the art Minako had created throughout the years, all complex and thoughtful in their own way. 

    “I was down in my studio working on another piece..forgive if I look dirty..” She looked at her, a serene smile on her face. 

    “It’s okay. We came unannounced.” 

    “Let’s sit here.” They came to small wicker stools, surrounded by a decorative waterfall and flowers. Minako leaned forward, her elbows on the table surface.

    “Tell me all about you Rae-chan.. how you have been.” She licked her lips, clearing her throat.

    “Well, so much has happened in the last year and a half so I wouldn’t even know where to start. Let’s see..I’ll start from the beginning.”

    “Mm. Please.” 

    “After I left Japan, I moved back in with my family. Because I left in the middle of the school year, I hadn’t completed my senior year.”

    “Your parents put you in another school?” She looked over at Hiroto, who had asked the question. She nodded with a smile. 

    “Yeah, they put me in Bedford Academy High School. It’s one of the best schools in New York.”  Both of them were astonished. 

    “Wow!” She linked her fingers together. 

    “I will give Shaundra and Kendrick credit, they made sure I continued with the best education I could have gotten. For that, I am thankful.” 

    “They are now just Shaundra and Kendrick?” Minako asked, her smile turning into a small frown. 

    “Yes. They are just that.” 

    “I cannot wait to hear how you got there.” She licked her lips and continued, 

    “After I graduated from Bedford, I entered as a business and marketing major at New York University.”

    “That’s awesome…” Roto spoke up, impressed. 

    “Didn’t know your girl got down like that didja?” She playfully stuck out her tongue. Minako eyed the two, her tea cup pressed against her mouth. Slowly, her lips formed a smile. 

    “What did you do after college?”    

    “I interned for a company by the name of Affinity.”

    “Ah..”

    “The CEO at the time liked me so much that he made me a permanent employee.”

    “That’s amazing! Do you still work for Affinity?” 

    “No…I quit.” Minako’s eyes grew wide. 

    “Why?” She glanced at Roto, who sat up straighter.

    “He was working with a man by the name of Peter Lugiano. Have you ever heard of him?” Minako’s face grew sour, her lips pinched tight. 

    “I know who he is.” 

    “They kidnapped me a while back.” Minako balled her hands into fists, anger settling on her features. 

    “Kidnap you?” She nodded. 

    “Why? What did they want?”

    “They wanted me for different reasons. But primarily, it was to get me away from Hiroto. By any means necessary.”

    “Jealousy.”

    “Yes.” She shook her head, fingers tight on the table surface. 

    “Disgusting.” She sighed and sat back in her chair. 

    “I took both of them to court and both of them got life in prison.”

    “Good. Very good.”

    “They did horrific things to me and so many others.. I had to put an end to it.”

    “For that I sure they will be grateful..” For a while, she watched Minako, who had turned to look out at the waterfall. She didn’t say anything for a while. When she did finally speak, it nearly shocked her. 

    “The man you knew as father is a mystery.” She blinked.

    “How so?” Finally, aged eyes turned to meet hers. 

    “He too worked with evil man. He worked with Peter. And I knew them both..” She grew still.

    “May I ask how Mina?” Suddenly, Minako grew tense, almost as if what she was about to say was uncomfortable.

    “I knew his father via my father.”

    “What did your daddy do?”

    “He dealt with underworld. Oftentimes, he did deal with the American mafia.”

    “How’d you meet Peter?” Mina licked her lips. 

    “I met him occasionally during deals. Very cold. No regard for human life.” 

    “How old was he?”

    “He was just a young boy at 7 years old. Then, I was 19.” 

    “And what was his father like?”

    “He was big boss for gang. He killed people without blinking. Deadly man.”

    “How did Kendrick get involved with them?” Minako sighed. 

    “That I do not know. This is so unlike the Kenny I remember.” 

    “Kenny?” Minako tightened her grip on her fingers.

    “Your father and I met in college..” Eyebrows knit together. 

    “I’m sorry?”

    “We were both going to University of California at the time. He was studying business and I was studying art.”

    “Whoa.” Mina nodded. 

    “We became friends one day by accident and soon after we were inseparable.” Mina smiled as she reflected on it. 

    “Kenny was always sweet to me and always funny. He stayed out of trouble.”

    “He sounds like such a good guy.” 

    “He was. We remained good friends throughout the years and when he met and married Shaundra, I couldn’t have been more happy for them.” Head spinning, her tongue stuck to the top of her mouth. 

    “Even though he asked me to watch over you, the whole thing still makes me bitter. How they could agree to damage a child…he knew Peter Lugiano was malicious. To agree to give you to him…it puzzles me. I do not understand.” She sat there trying to wrap her mind around it all… How had ‘Kenny’ turned into the man he was? What had gone wrong? Licking her lips, she spoke quietly, 

    “I can’t understand it either. But…I do thank him for making me come here. So much of this place is me and I wouldn’t have ever known it if he hadn’t been acting stank.” 

    “I am glad I was able to meet you and care for you too.” She reached for her hand. 

    “I am so blessed that God brought us together. You are truly the only mother I ever had.” Tears misted Minako’s eyes and she squeezed her hand. 

    “Through you, I was able to become a mother again. You gave me back something precious Rae-chan.” 

    “That’s so sweet to say.” Mina smiled, vision watery. 

    “When I lost my daughter and first husband…I didn’t think I would be able to be normal. You made me feel wanted again.” 

    “Mina…” She pat her cheek, which had grown damp and cleared her throat. 

    “Now, you and Hiroto-kun…how did you two come back together?” She smiled to herself, glancing at him.

    “He came to the States intent on gettin me back. And only by God’s doin, we met at one of Affinity’s galas. I was not ready for him. So naturally, I fought him so hard Mina. I didn’t want anything to do with him.” She laughed softly, pressing fingers to her mouth. 

    “Yes, I too was angry with him. I could not believe he hurt you the way he did. But, he was young. You were young too. Mistakes easy to make.” 

    “Yeah..”

    “How long did you make him wait?” 

    “A whole year and a half. We fought tooth and nail…discovered a deeper bond between us…and finally came full circle.” Mina eyed Hiroto. 

    “You are a very sincere young man. Just as you were as a child.” His cheeks blossomed in a blush. She took his hand and gently squeezed it. 

    “I believe it was you that told me that if I truly wanted her, I would wait.”

    “Ah..I did.”

    “She was worth the wait then and she is worth it now.” 

    “Aw babe..”

    “Yes, this is good..” Mina said with a bright smile as she slowly stood up. 

    “Time has repeated and now you two are right where you belong.” They stood, Hiroto’s fingers gently curled around her waist. 

    “Speaking of love…Mina-chann….” Ah, there was the infamous blush that lit up her entire face. She was so cute. Still a girl at heart. 

    “Oh..ah…yes my darling? Ah…well…” She pressed a hand to her cheek and her heart warmed. She was so precious, love’s light glowing bright within her. 

    “I never thought I would remarry. I loved my first husband too much.”

    “So how’d you two meet?” 

    “Ah…well we were friends.. very long time friends. He came unexpectedly and helped me heal from the pain. Haru-chan showed me that I could love again and that it was okay to love again.” Haru-chan hm?

    “Now I have to meet him.” 

    “You have your chance… he comes now.” She damn near broke her neck turning around. At the sight of the man walking up to them, her jaw dropped. Oh… Tall and lithe, the man had a few sprinkles of grey in his hair as well, hair that was pulled back into a bun. A neatly trimmed beard and strong but gentle hands. He wore casual clothing, his essence that of wood, gold and rain. She stood up as Minako damn near skipped over to him. 

    “Haru-chan, this is Rae…my daughter.” Soulful brown eyes turned to her. 

    “So I’ve heard. How are you my dear?” 

    “I’m well thank you. You’re the man who swooped up my Mina hm?” He smiled, his face soft. 

    “I suppose you can say that.”

    “I want deets. How long y’all known each other? Been friends? All that.” She said, a small grin on her face. Haru chuckled to himself. 

    “She sure is inquisitive.”  

    “You with my mama. I have to be.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking at Roto who just grinned, enjoying the show. 

    “I knew her in high school a long while ago. We had been friends and lost touch soon after. I happened by her one day at a mini mart, unbeknownst to me that she had had a family. We stayed in touch and a few years ago rekindled a relationship.”  

    “That is how we came to be.” He gently kissed her cheek.

    “I see that you too are in love Rae-san.” 

    “Ah…y-yeah…”

    “Someday, you’ll become old like us. I hope you will be just as happy.” She watched the two, her breath stealing away. They radiated love. Minako had never before looked so happy. 

    “I know we will.” Roto said, finally standing. Fingers slid across her lower back. 

    “This is good. I hope to see you two again soon?” 

    “Mm.” He smiled and kissed Minako’s forehead. 

    “I’ll be back darling.”

    “Okay.” 

    “It was nice to meet you.”

    “Same.” Minako’s eyes followed him as he slowly walked away from them. With a sigh, she came to sit back down. 

    “He’s a good solid man Mina-dono. Very suitable for you.” Roto spoke up softly. 

    “Thank you.” 

    “I agree.” 

    “Yes he’s got me through hard times.” She smiled. 

    “Tell me, how long are you staying in Japan?” The smile slid off her face and she grew sad. 

    “Actually, this is our last day here.”

    “Ah…I see.”

    “I didn’t tell her I was bringing her here. I wanted to surprise the both of you on our last day.” 

    “Such kind boy..thank you Hiroto.” 

    “We’ll be back though…”

    “You will?”

    “Of course! I won’t stay away too long I promise!” Eyes crinkled up in the corners and hands pressed flat against the table. Slowly, she stood. 

    “Before you go, I want to give you something.” She blinked as they stood as well. 

    “Mina, you don’t have to give me anything.” 

    “Now now, just wait here.” Mina smiled to herself before leaving them standing by the fountain. She let out a breath.     

    “She’s so happy.” She looked up at Roto, who smiled at her. 

    “It’s so good to see her again..”

    “Before we left here, I had to do this.” She gently slid fingers across his on the table. 

    “Thank you.” 

    “It’s nothing babe.” He lifted her fingers to his mouth and kissed them. She sighed. 

    “I don’t wanna leave..” His lips smiled against her skin.

    “We can always come back…”

    “Yeah. Cause I missed my mama.”

    “And she missed you too.” 

    “Ah, here.” They turned as Minako came back into the space, holding something in her hand. 

    “What is it Mina?” 

    “Turn around.” Sliding her fingers away from Roto, she licked her lips and turned, facing the waterfall. A colorful necklace came around her neck and once fastened, Minako smiled. Glancing down at it, she gasped, touching it with her fingers. Made from beautiful tensha, jade, and jasper, it stunned her. Smooth to the touch, it smelt like incense. 

    “Mina?” She just smiled, a slight blush in her cheeks. 

    “It was my mother’s. She gave it to me when I was 14.” 

    “I can’t have this.. really.”

    “Nonsense. As my mother gave it to me..now I am giving it to you. It look beautiful on you.” Her eyes grew misty and she swallowed thickly. 

    “Thank you so much Mina..” She walked into her embrace and sighed against her. 

    “Come back soon hm?”

    “You know it.” Pressing a kiss to her forehead, Mina stood back eyes teary. 

    “Okay you two kids have to go right?”

    “Unfortunately.” Roto said, sadness entering his tone. 

    “I don’t worry. You come back. Hiroto..” He stood tall and straight. 

    “Yes?”

    “Don’t break her heart again. She nor I can handle it.”

    “I wouldn’t dare make the same mistake again Mina-dono. Rest assured, it will not happen again.” Lost in translation, she just watched the two of them curiously. Minako reached out and gently laid her hand on his cheek. 

    “I believe you. Please Hiroto-kun… take care of her.” 

    “With my life I swear to you that I will.” Minako smiled and gently took back her hand. 

    “Rae-chan…I will give you my address. Please mail me anytime!”

    “O-okay. No phone?” 

    “Ah no. I don’t particularly like those things. They confuse me.” She laughed. 

    “Okay then I will mail you!” 

    “Come then, this way.” She slid her fingers through hers and she led them towards the front to front of the house. 

    “Wait here.” Minako left but for a moment. Returning, she held a piece of paper with neatly scribbled Japanese on it.

    “My English grew bad. Hiroto-kun translate for you?”

    “Of course.” He answered gently, bowing his head. 

    “Good.” Turning, she found a man standing near the back of the room, off to the side. 

    “Watanabe, please show them out.”

    “Yes ma’am.” 

    “Watanabe show you out. Take care for now!” She felt tears well back up and she hugged her tightly… once more. 

    “I see you soon Rae..”

    “Very very soon.” Minako kissed her forehead and smiled as Roto intertwined their fingers. 

    “Until next time Mina-dono..”

    “Next time..” The man came to the front and at a final wave from Minako, led them outside. Roto bowed deeply and soon they were back in the car and on their way back to the hotel. The whole drive, she held tightly to his fingers and watched him intensely. Under her scrutiny, he glanced at her. 

    “What’s up?”

    “Nothin..”

    “Sure?”

    “Yeah.” A small blush worked its way into his cheeks. But he smiled, happiness radiating throughout his being.When they got back to the hotel, they gathered their things and were soon on the way to the airport. How fast the time had gone… but she couldn’t wait to return. 

***

    

     The New York skyline greeted them, the noise of taxis and honking cars sunk deep into their senses. Pulling her hat further down on her head, she sighed. 

    “We ain’t in Kansas no more Toto. That’s for damn sure.” Glancing at the man who currently looked more lost than a cowboy at a mob fight, she grinned. 

    “What does that mean?” The cutest scrunch of his eyebrows made her giggle. 

    “You look so confused…”

    “You and your American sayings. I don’t understand them.” She stuck out her tongue. 

    “Well. It ain’t for you to understand.” He poked her forehead. 

    “Listen you…” She pursed her lips and at the grin that slid on his face, laughed. 

    “You silly I tell you. Come on, let’s get to where we goin.” 

    “Yeah. Let’s.” 

    “Sha’mon then.” Lugging their suitcases, they came to a black car that she recognized as belonging to him. 

    “You prepared huh?”

    “Always.” He winked at her. 

    “Mm.” Turning to the man, he bowed curtly and spoke quickly. Letting him take the suitcases, he opened the door allowing her to slip inside. Once the trunk closed, the car began to move and she leaned her head back on the headrest. Back home. At last. For now.

***

    “I hear you’re back in New York.”

    “You have heard correctly.”

    “And you didn’t think to call or let me know?”

    “I just did.” 

    “Did you think I wouldn’t find out about your little stunt?”

    “Ah, you mean my inheritance being returned to its rightful owner?”

    “That little bitch persuaded you to do it didn’t she?”

    “No mother, as your son, I just grew balls enough to take it back from you.”

    “Is that so?”

    “Very much so.”

    “What do you think you’ll accomplish?”

    “A hell of a lot and none of it is any of your business.” 

    “Mark my words Hiroto: You will regret this.” 

    “If you think that your words will make me fear you, you are wrong.” 

    “Very well then. We’ll keep in touch dear son.”

    “Of course dearest mother.” 

***

    

    The sunlight came up over the clouds and streamed into his window, splashing morning glory across his eyes. He winced and groaned, lifting the covers above his head. It couldn’t be time yet…not so soon. The faint buzzing of his phone made him pull the covers back down. He supposed it was time indeed to greet the world. Sighing, he groggily got up and sat on the edge of the bed, his feet slightly dangling above the ground. Messy disheveled hair fell across his eyes and he blew it up in slight frustration. He’d grown lazy and let it grow wild and free. Surely, he could not go into work with his hair like this. Licking his lips, he finally placed his feet on the ground and got up, stretching. Bones popping, he sighed deeply. Damn. He was growing old. Thirty seemed so close and his body seemed to enjoy letting him know. Pushing the hair back from his eyes and face, he grabbed his phone and with lazy eyes, he briefly scanned the screen. 18 messages. All from きこ. Pinching his lips, he pressed the phone icon and waited until she answered. 

    “Where have you been?” 

    “Is that truly any of your business?” 

    “You are my fiancé.” 

    “Noa…I’m not going to repeat myself over and over again. It is clear you cannot be made to understand what is right in front of you. I will not force myself to do this any longer.”

    “Force what Hiroto?”

    “Stop asking questions you already know the answer to.” 

    “Why haven’t I heard from you? Seriously…it’s been almost an entire four to five months..”

    “I have not wanted to be around you. You blew any chance of my being around you again.”

    “Hiro… it was a mistake…and I’m sorry. What else do you want from me?”

    “I want you to go home.” There was deafening silence on the other end. Then through the silence, a heartbroken reply, 

    “Not without you.” 

    “I have to go.”

    “Wait! Wait a minute…”

    “Goodbye.” He hung up before she could get another word in. Closing his eyes, he fell back on his bed, an arm strewn across his face. He had let this go on far longer than he should have and now it was interfering with everything. It wasn’t right to her…he knew. But it also wasn’t right to Rae. It would hurt her but she had to move on and let it and him go. She didn’t have any other choice. Licking his dry lips, he brought his phone once again into visage. A missed phone call from Rae. Funny that she would call him right after he just talked to Kiko. Very funny indeed. Pressing on her name, he deeply inhaled and waited. 

    “Roto?”

    “What’s up sweetheart?”

    “Nothin…um…good mornin.” 

    “Mornin.” There was a slight pause before, 

    “What you doin today?” He lifted, arm falling away from his eyes. 

    “I don’t have anything planned.” 

    “Do you mind if I come over?”

    “I don’t mind one bit.

    “Okay then…I’ll come over in a little bit.”

    “Okay.”

    “See you soon?”

    “Mm.” Hanging up, he slowly stood and peeled off his clothes. Best get himself together. Yawning, he stepped into the shower.

***

    Clutching her purse, she shifted on her other foot and waited. Standing outside the Marshall home, she pursed her lips. The only reason she had bypassed Hiroto’s house and come here was strictly to see Amee, Tre and Erica. She hadn’t talked to any of them while she had been in Japan and she figured it was only proper that she let them know she was back in town. At no answer she sighed and started to turn around when the door opened.

    “Rae?” She blinked and faced her sister, who held the door tightly, shock fresh on her features.

    “Hey A.”  Amee rushed forward, hugging her tightly. 

    “Oh my goodness! When did you get back?”

    “I been back for a couple days..” Amee let go of her and smiled. 

    “Come on in!” She smiled and stepped in, glancing around.  Shaundra and Kendrick weren’t there. Good. Erica peeked over the couch and waved at her. 

    “How was the trip?” A asked, leading her to the couch. 

    “It was amazing.” 

    “Just amazing?” She ran fingers through her hair. 

    “I never thought I’d be able to go back there and to have been able to is just…it’s a blessing.”

    “It’s home.” Amee spoke matter of factly. She sighed with a soft smile on her face. 

    “Yeah..it is. So many places…even the smell in the air was missed.” 

    “No doubt your time away was much needed.”

    “It was. The first week we were there it was all business. But the next week, we had more time to reminisce.” 

    “Japan did you good Rae. You just a glowin!” Putting a hand up to her cheek, she licked her lips. 

    “Minako said the same thing..” 

    “You saw Minako?” Amee asked, eyes wide. 

    “Yup. Roto surprised us both with a visit on our last day.”

    “How is she?”

    “She’s doing really well!” 

    “What does she do?”

    “She has a successful business making trinket type objects for tourists and lovers of old.”

    “Oh man…” 

    “She also had a bomb ass topiary. It was stunning.”

    “Whoa.” 

    “On top of that, she remarried.”  A clutched her chest with a sigh.

    “Yas! She finally got her happiness!” She smiled softly. 

    “It was a long time comin but dude is pretty solid.”

    “Aw Minako..”

    “Yep.”

    “So what else went down?”

    “Roto took me to see his father and I tell you the minute I walked through the door, he was like so I need you to marry my son.” Amee burst out laughing.

    “Ebbie stop it no he didn’t.”

    “He literally sat me down and was like when you marrying him?” She couldn’t hold in the laughter. 

    “That is so funny!”

    “I can say that that man missed us together that’s for sure. He came around every durn corner just to peek and mess with us.”

    “He was gettin a kick outta y’all.”

    “I’m sayin.” She snort. 

    “Ion know Ebbie…I’m kinda with him though. When are y’all tyin the knot?”

    “Aw nawl not you too.”

    “Girl bye you know you would marry that man in a heartbeat.”

    “Yeah but we just got back together.”

    “Mm…right.” 

    “Look, you and Shou together gon get on my nerves.” Amee stuck out her tongue as she sucked her teeth. 

    “Anywhoo..one of the other icings on the cake during the trip was when Roto surprised me with a visit with my baby Tobu.”

    “Who Tobu?”

    “I ain’t ever told you bout Nakamura Tobu?”

    “Nawl.”

    “Chile, that is my baby! In high school, it was just me him and Roto. The three musketeers. He’s such a sweetheart and was always such a good friend to me. Huh lemme show you a picture.” She reached for her phone and pulled up one of the pictures she had taken of him during their meeting. Amee’s eyes grew as big as saucers. 

    “Oh my Lord…” She giggled. 

    “Nawl you ain’t ever told me bout his fine ass. Where and when can I meet him?” 

    “Amee!”

    “I’m just sayin.”  

    “I don’t know when and where but you better behave Amee.”

    “Dang! You like a mama bear.”

    “Ya damn right. I’m protective of him.”

    “Forget it then. I get with someone you ain’t gon down jump my throat for.” 

    “Well…” 

    “How did meeting with him go?”

    “I almost brought that man to the ground.” Amee laughed. 

    “That’s a picture for sure.” She stuck her tongue out at her in return.     

    “I hadn’t seen him in forever and when I saw him I lost it.”

    “Aww. I can tell.” 

    “He teared up himself. He was so happy A. Just to be back together again… it felt so right.” Amee just looked at her intensely, only for a moment.

    “That land has nourished you and continues to do so. What it did this land never could. You radiate with the love and light from there.” She felt heat blossom in her cheeks.  

    “A…” Amee smiled and with another sigh, shook her head.

    “I’m glad you’re back and I’m glad you enjoyed your trip Ebbie..”

    “Me too.” She looked around. 

    “Where Shaundra and Kendrick?”

    “They left not too long ago. Today they anniversary.”

    “Oh.”Amee sighed. 

    “I honestly am only putting up with them because of Erica. If it wasn’t for her, I’d be out of here. The way I see it, they don’t deserve you, me or Tre.”

    “I agree 100.”    

    “I just don’t know what to do..” She squeezed her sister’s hand reassuringly. 

    “It will work out Amee. When it’s time God will move.”

    “Yep just like He movin now all over you and Hiroto. It’s time you settle down with him and stop playin.” She rolled her eyes. 

    “You keep talkin bout marriage what is that about?”

    “All I’m sayin is that I truly think y’all ready for that next phase…y’all been lovin each other fifteen damn years. Time to seal the deal and be happy.” 

    “A…”

    “I leave it alone. Y’all ain’t ready yet for it. I get it.” 

    “I don’t know…” Amee stood up and pressed a kiss on her forehead. 

    “I won’t speak about it anymore. It’s up to you Ebbie.” She sighed and stood as well. 

    “Welp, I got to get to Roto’s house.”

    “All right. We catch up some later then.”

    “Later gator.” 

    “Bye Ebbie.” Waving to Erica, she blew them both kisses before getting into her car. Sighing, she got on the freeway and headed towards Roto’s place.

*** 

    Putting his hair up in a slicked back bun, he sat down at his low table, tapping fingers against his knee. Looking at his computer screen, he sighed in frustration. He’d been staring at it for the past couple of hours and his eyes had grown strained and tired. A knock at his door grabbed his attention. 

    “Rae?” He called, getting up. 

    “Yeah!”

    “Come on in.” The door opened and she gingerly stepped inside, smiling as she set her gaze on him. 

    “Hey.” She said, faint blush on her cheeks. 

    “Hey yourself.” He said with a slight grin, eying her as she slid out of her thin jacket and put her purse down.

    “Where’d you go before here?” He asked as she came to sit down next to him on the couch.     

    “Amee’s.” 

    “Ah.”

    “Yep.”

    “How is she doing?”

    “She’s good.” 

    “Good.”

    “How are you?”

    “I’m fine.”

    “Just fine?”

    “Well, I was thinking about a new business strategy for this upcoming year.”

    “Stressin you out huh?”

    “Hell yeah.” She sniggered. 

    “My poor Roto..”

    “Hm.” She reached up and tucked some strands that had gotten loose behind his ear. 

    “You want some help?” 

    “Please.” 

    “Okay lemme look at it.” She pulled her feet underneath her as he grabbed his computer. To her surprise, she found a outline for the organization she had suggested they start.     

    “When’d you start thinkin bout this?” 

    “As soon as we touched back down in the States.” He answered calmly, taking a sip from the mug that laid on a nearby table. 

    “Wow…”

    “I was going to invite you over sometime soon so that we could discuss it in further detail. I wanted to get some main ideas down as talking points first.” She leaned back against the couch, outstretching her legs across his lap. 

    “Let’s go through what you have first.” Sienna brown eyes made her heart beat faster. 

    “Okay.” She cleared her throat as she looked at the document. Roto was looking real rugged lately. Five o’clock shadow on his jaw and hair pulled up into a significant bun, he was unusually lax. Seemed the trip to Japan had made him unwind in ways he very much needed.

    “What’s the first ting?” 

    “Well..” He had scooted over to look at the screen. 

    “I wondered where we could go to gain both support and profit.”

    “Welp… it’d definitely be with a non-profit for sure.” 

    “Mm.” Pulling her legs away from him, she moved to sit in between his legs. He smiled at the close contact and slid his arms across her waist, holding her lazily.

    “What about possible partnerships with Habitat for Humanity and Food bank?”

    “What is that?”

    “Which one?”

    “Habitat for Humanity.”

    “Habitat for Humanity caters to those who do not have homes. They gather people, oftentimes in the community to come and built houses. They do it because everyone deserves to have a place to call their own.”

    “That is amazing.” 

    “I agree. By partnering up with them, that would be a easy way to engage and motivate the young kids.”

    “And also allow them to escape from their troubles safely.”

    “Exactly!” He rested his chin on top of her shoulder.

    “I think the food bank is a good idea too. Perhaps we could also make them homemade items too?” 

    “How could we do that?”

    “I’m sure there are those who wouldn’t mind.”

    “Okay..”

    “And what of this: each homemade meal has something from a specific place?”

    “Like what?”

    “If one of the kids receive an o-bento from Japan, he or she receives a special trinket as well.” 

    “Why am I thinking Minako here?”

    “We should ask her! It would be very special.”

    “I think so too! That’s an awesome idea!” He bit his lips. 

    “Imagine… if we had of had something like this…how different we would have been.”

    “Yeah. But despite it all, I think we turned out just fine don’t cha think?”

    “Mm.” 

    “This is a big deal and its impact will be so transformative. Thank you for even considering this idea.” He shrugged, a boyish smile on his face. 

    “Why wouldn’t I consider it?” She sat the computer on the table and closed her eyes. 

    “I don’t know…It’s just very considerate of you.” 

    “We both experienced the same thing so it makes sense as to why I would consider it. And, it reflects the direction I want Shoutoii to go in.” 

    “I think Shoutoii will only grow more respected because of it.”

    “Mm. Besides, you’re more than a simple employee to this company Rae… I keep telling you.. your opinion carries serious weight.” She felt her cheeks grow warm and looked up at him. 

    “Thank you baby.” He nuzzled her. 

    “Enough of that for now..are you hungry?”

    “Boy you know I am.” Chuckling, his eyes twinkled. 

    “What do you want?”

    “I want you to rest your hands. That’s what I want.” She gently grabbed one of them. 

    “You work them too hard Hiroto.” Massaging his knuckles and the flesh of his palm, she heard him sigh. 

    “I know.”

    “I’m gon cook for you how bout that?”

    “Careful, you might spoil me.”

    “You don already spoiled me rotten. It’s the least I can do right?” 

    “You do enough for me. I don’t need anything else.” He replied in a half silly half serious tone. 

    “Well I wanna cook for you so.” She pulled away from his warmth and stood up, stretching. 

    “Let’s ride to the store and see what my creativity comes up with.”

    “Alright.” Fingers intertwined, they headed out, stomachs awaiting something good. 

***

    “This is unacceptable.” Eyes watched the couple as they carried a cart full of food items to a car assumed to be hers. They observed as he helped her load up the trunk. But they narrowed as his lips touched hers briefly before they got into the car and drove away. She had only gotten in the way of what was supposed to be her fairytale and she would not allow it. He should’ve forgotten her ten years ago. 

    “This must end now.” Soon, she’d crash their little affair and get in her rightful place once again.

***

    She smiled, watching him as he devoured some of the mac and cheese she’d made along with ham, cornbread and greens. 

    “You eatin like you ain’t ate in ten days.”

    “I’ve been waiting for this…” He said in between mouthfuls. 

    “Slow down baby. It ain’t goin nowhere.” She said, throat full of laughter. He slowed down some, taking a drink of water. 

    “I don’t know where I was without soul food.” He said, glancing up at her. 

    “You can’t eat this everyday. I promise you, you gon get fat before you know it.” He grinned. 

    “I run enough to burn the calories.” She rolled her eyes. 

    “You crazy.” Things grew silent as he resumed eating and she watched contently, fist against her cheek. The silence was suddenly cut short as a knock sounded at his door. Brows knit together. 

    “Who that?” 

    “I’m not sure.” Getting up from the table, he opened the door and froze. 

    “Enjoying your meal?” A female voice asked in a clipped tone. Aw hell nawl. Who was this heifer? She damn near flew over to the door and peeked her head out from behind him. The woman’s eyes met hers. Kiko. 

    “What can we do for you?” She asked, putting her hand on her hip. A furious red crept into her cheeks and she pinched her lips together tightly. 

    “I’m here to talk to my fiancé. What are you doing here?” Her mouth grew dry. 

    “Noa.” She turned her eyes on him. 

    “Why is she here Hiroto?”

    “Why are you here?” She shot back, lips pursed. 

    “Noa, I want you to leave.” If she could’ve turned into a tomato she would have. 

    “Tell her to leave! I’m your fiancé! She clearly does not understand her place.” 

    “Noa..” 

    “If you were going to cheat on me, at least cheat with someone worthy. She’s nothing but trash!” 

    “Stop it.” 

    “No!” 

    “You know what? I’m not goin entertain a clueless bitch who after ten years still hasn’t gotten the memo.” 

    “Rae…” He turned around to find her going to get her things. 

    “Finally, you’re leaving…” Kiko stepped inside, arms crossed. 

    “Rae..hey.” He stopped her, sliding his arms around her waist. She was ready to fight, her nostrils flared and cheeks red with fury. 

    “She called me trash. I got her trash right here…” 

    “Baby…calm down.” He spoke lowly against her temple, pressing his lips against her skin. She swallowed thickly and gripped his forearms. 

    “Baby? Did you call her baby?” 

    “Yes he did. And?” 

    “We’re getting married and you’re wasting time with ghetto inner city filth. I don’t understand.” He inhaled through his nostrils and faced her, keeping Rae close with his hands. 

    “You are severely out of line.”

    “Let me go Hiroto.” She spoke against his back, loosening her grip on his arms.

    “I want you to hit me.” Kiko sneered, face twisted up in a scowl.

    “I’m above putting my hands on you, even if you askin for it. Queen to peasant, you ain’t worth that shit.” He let his arms drop and watched as she gathered her things.

    “Before I skip dodge, I wanna say this to you Kiko: I’m sick of empty headed materialistic bitches such as yourself who think they can use Hiroto for what he got. Y’all ain’t worthy to replace me. When you on your grown woman shit then we can talk. In the meantime, let him go cause he was never yours to begin with.” She stiffened up as she walked up to Roto and kissed him. 

    “I’ll get with you later.” He sighed and pressed his nose against her neck. 

    “Rae…don’t go. Don’t allow her that authority.”

    “Nah nah… it’s best I do. She want me to put my hands on her and I ain’t gon take the bait. I’ll just catch up with you at a later date.” He ran his fingers through his hair, the holder having fell to the floor. 

    “I’ll call you.”

    “Okay.” And like that she was gone. 

***

    He pinched his nose and sighed, irritation creeping up his spine.

    “Did you think I’d go away if you ignored me?”

    “Stop.”

    “No, you have been playing house with her and I don’t like it.” 

    “Allow me to put your dislike to an end.” He said evenly, his tone flat and hard. 

    “It should’ve ended ten years ago! You should’ve let her go but you didn’t!”

    “The mistake you made was in listening and trusting my mother. You foolishly allowed her to fill your head with dreams that were never going to come true.”

    “Hiroto-”

    “I never had any intention of marrying you. To my mother and I, you were simply a pawn willing to be used.” She grew still. 

    “What are you talking about?”

    “It’s pointless trying to get you to understand. In your selfishness, you’ve blinded yourself to the truth.”

    “Nevertheless, we can make this work. We just need to go home Hiro. Let’s go home!”

    “I think you’ve misunderstood me.” A spike of irritation rose up but he only licked his lips. 

    “I’m not going to Japan with you.” She stared at him for a moment, confusion settling on her face. 

    “If you can go to Japan with her, you can go with me.” Ah, yes.  This whole entire blow up had Eri Iwase written all over it. 

    “In my selfishness, I hurt you the same way Eri hurt me. For that and only that I will apologize. Anything else involving Rae will not get an apology.”

    “Perhaps talking to your mother will put some sense into you! I see just what she’s been talking about! That woman has made you irrational!” He chuckled, truly humored. The change in attitude made her blink. 

    “You’re very unfortunate.”

    “What?”

    “You may leave. Now.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder. 

    “I’ll go. But I will be keeping in touch.” Soon, she too left him and the silence was deafening. Staring at the wall blankly, he tightened his hands into fists. One final thing that would try to hinder him. Eri Iwase. Putting her to silence would prove to be the most satisfying accomplishment of his life and for that he couldn’t wait. And as proper, he would start with Miyamae Noa. What happened here today had given him new motivation to begin again. It was time for the truth to come and anyway it did was not up to him. If Eri wanted one last time to play games, he would let her. He supposed he could show some mercy before he made the killing move. After all, she was his beloved mother. Very beloved indeed.

End Notes:

 

A/N: HEY GUYS!!!! It's been a little while!  *PARTY MUSIC* GUESS WHO MADE HER RETURN! MINAKOOOOOO!!!! I loved writing her again! In my mind, she has aged so beautifully and gracefully! God has truly blessed her and she deserves it so much!! Glad to see she allowed her gifts to make room for her! Who knew that Minako was handy with shears?! Loved every minute of the reunion! (Just a side note: the suffix -dono is a term showing the highest level of respect outside of calling one royalty. Appropriately, I had Roto use it being that of aristocratic blood, not only does he know what it means and what it is used for...but it speaks to the level of respect being that he holds a "commoner" or "lower status" person higher than he.) DUN DUN DUNNNNNN guess who also made her return! Kiko was bound to come back up, being that she's Hiroto's unfinished problem. Many of you may ask why has he waited so long? Why not just end it? Trust that I have a method to the otherwise seemingly long dragging out of Miyamae's presence in his life. Now, why Saikai Suru as title? In Japanese, it means "to start again" "meeting again" "reunion" and to "reunite." Not only did Rae reunite with Minako (and all those very dear to her), Roto also united with Kiko and in turn something will be started because of it. ON A SIDE NOTE, THIS WOMAN WILL BE BROUGHT TO AN END ONCE AND FOR ALL. She been a pain in everybody side! With repetitive talk of marriage, I wonder... what will the two decide? *rubs chin and grins* This was a pleasure to write and I hope you all enjoy it! 

P.S- IF I HAVE NOT SAID IT BEFORE I HAVE VERY GOOD NEWS!!! GUESS WHAT Y'ALL?! A PUBLISHING COMPANY WANTS TO PUBLISH ACCORDANCE!!! *SCREAMS* Y'ALL... MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED AND I COULDN'T BEEN MORE BLESSED OR HUMBLED! I WILL SHARE UPDATES AS I CONTINUE THIS PROCESS AND FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, THANK GOD FOR GIVING ME THE DESIRE OF MY HEART! FOR ANSWERING A LONG PRAYER JOURNEY AND MAKING A DREAM I HAD SINCE A CHILD COME TRUE! THANK YOU ABBA! THANK YOU ALSO FOR YOUR SUPPORT, LOVE AND ENCOURAGEMENT GUYS! <3 <3 <3 

Till next time, 

Shine bright in the sky, bright and yellow 

Be renewed in your mind and spirit! 

D&L <3

 

Picture of Minako husband (<3): 

Tony Thornburg: 

Tetsuji Tamayama as Shigure Hifune: 

Fruition by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

 

 

** LONG CHAPTER AHEAD! WARNING: SOME MATERIAL MAY BE GRAPHIC AND DISTURBING!** 

 

Soundtrack: 

Dew- Ilaria Graziano 

Mikansei Love Story (Incomplete Love Story) -Yoko Kanno 


 

    “Mr. Iwase?” 

    “Yes?”

    “Ms. Marshall is here to see you.”

    “Please let her in.” The doors to his office opened and his lovely lady stepped inside, graciously bowing to Midori before the door closed. 

    “Hello there.” He said with a gentle smile. 

    “Hi. So I’ll make this really short. I have an interview with James & Corrier in like three hours and I had to come to you because I feel like throwing up.” He stood up from his desk and chuckled. 

    “You’re so cute.”

    “Vomit is not cute by any means Hiroto.” 

    “Take a deep breath.”

    “Okay but you know I don’t like these things…” He came to stand in front of her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. 

    “I don’t like interviews either but…” She pouted. 

    “You’ll do great Rae.” 

    “How you know?”

    “I know you.” She swallowed and tried to keep the nausea down. 

    “Roto…”

    “Breathe…” He whispered, softly rubbing her back. She inhaled sharply. 

    “Would you like me to come with you?”

    “Yes. Sit with me on stage too.”

    “I don’t think that would be proper.”

    “I need you up there…”

    “Alright fine. I’ll sit with you.” 

    “Thank you.” 

    “You’re welcome.” 

    “Let’s go get some air before I go to this thing.” 

 

*** 

    Weeks of planning had finally been turned into reality and they had taken Rae’s idea and turned it into a successful organization. She had named the organization Junsui and though it had been only three weeks up it was showing to be very promising. He delighted in the fact that she was starting to become an inspirational figure, gaining more and more popularity among the business elites. She didn’t quite know how to handle it but he let her shine in only the way she could. He was proud of his baby in that even though she hated big public affairs, she followed through with it in spite of her unease. Sighing, he ran fingers through his freshly cut hair. 

    Time was moving quite fast, leaving him to wonder when it would ever slow for a moment. His mother had been unusually quiet. In the back of his mind, he knew she was plotting. Still plotting. Still wanting to undermine him. He took a deep breath as he felt small fingers grip his tightly. With Rae’s birthday approaching by the day, he wanted to do something truly special in celebration of this feat. He watched as irritation mingled with nervousness on her face. Unfamiliar hands tangled in her hair and put more makeup than was called for on her face. He squeezed back and stood. 

    “Where you goin?” She asked, eyes growing wide. 

    “Nowhere.”  He came to stand by her side and lifted her chin, causing the many fingers to pause and pull away. 

    “Tamako, could you reapply her makeup?” The women grew offended as she came to the forefront. 

    “Y-you want me to redo it?” 

    “Yes. The others have applied too much.” Tamako blinked and slowly bowed her head. 

    “Of course.” As she began to clear the make up from her skin, Rae visibly relaxed. Once finished, Tamako stepped back with a humble bow. He smiled as he took in her appearance. Stunning. Her hair had been taken up to create billowing clouds that cascaded down the back of her head. 

    “Mr. Iwase? They are ready for her now.” She stood shakily and gripped his hand the entire time. 

    “Roto…”

    “I’m right here sweetheart.” Eyes were glued on them as they headed up towards the stage. Soon, bright lights blinded them and they were sitting on national television across from James McIntire, one of the most prominent men in the business world.  

 

 

***

    Fingers curled around a slender cigarette, smoke filling the room. Eyes glued to the television. She watched as the woman spoke, her son sitting next to her. At least he looked handsome. His hair styled in a messy yet flattering way, his bangs pushed back from his forehead. She on the other hand looked average. She was a black stain on her existence and for the life of her she couldn’t understand why time and time again her son choose this simpleton over a woman of esteem and poise. Flicking the holder against the ash tray, she put the cigarette back to her lips.

    She’d been made aware by Miyamae that he was beyond reason. Little did she know, he had long since been past the point of reason. Disappointed that she had been so weak, she advised her to let her handle it. She could already foresee her return to Tokyo and money returned to the Miyamae family. And she was going to make Hiroto pay for forcing her to return good money. Had he only listened to her and kept with Miyamae for a little longer, she could’ve gotten both an heir and interest. Her ears perked up as they began to talk. 

    “It is so wonderful to finally meet you Ms. Marshall.” She blushed prettily. 

    “Same to you. Thank you for allowing me to be here.”

    “Glad to see you Mr. Iwase. Your COO is quite impressive.” She froze. COO? Since when had he made that little roach the COO of his father’s business? Lips tight, she continued to watch the program. 

    “Thank you James. Truly, Ms. Marshall is phenomenal. Her vision for Shoutoii matches with mine so beautifully and she’s been able to bring such growth and goodness to the company.” 

    “My, such high praises! How do you feel hearing that from such an influential man Ms. Marshall?” Her blush grew and she smiled. 

    “It’s incredibly humbling to say the least. Mr. Iwase has been so gracious allowing me to be apart of his vision for Shoutoii and I know things will only continue to prosper.” 

    “Today, we are going to talk about your new sect of Shoutoii. It’s called Junsui. Can you tell us a little bit more about it?” She licked her lips and sat up straighter. 

    “Of course. Junsui was something that I thought was fitting being that I have experienced sexual abuse, homelessness and other traumatizing events as a child. Mr. Iwase sympathized and so we worked as a team to make Junsui happen. He expressed that he wanted Shoutoii to go in a direction that directly helped those who were in need. He wanted to take the focus off of business conglomerate and focus more on an approach that was hands-on and active in the global community.” 

    “Amazing. Being that Shoutoii is a Japanese business, I like that you, a foreigner, have kept with the theme. Did you pick the name and if so, what does it mean?” 

    “Yes I picked the name. Junsui means pure. Children, no matter the age, are pure in heart and in spirit. And I think it is important that we as adults try to preserve the purity within them for as long as we can. Another reason I named it pure was because the children we deal with have been told that they are not, given their circumstances. I find this not to be true. Rather, I feel the world has taken the purity from them. Junsui seeks to restore their purity to them.” 

    “How so?”

    “The program connects the child or young adult with access to food, housing, friendship and healing. If the child is younger than 14 years old, we house them in a dormitory style place with other children. The adults there are only those whom we trust to ensure that they receive healing and love in their recovery process.” McIntire looked utterly floored and to his chagrin, began to applaud her. Soon, the whole audience followed suit and he finally spoke. 

    “You are a remarkable young woman with a dream and heart bigger than most can understand. I am very proud of you for accomplishing this feat. Mr. Iwase, thank you for employing her.” He chuckled. 

    “Everything she has done has been by her own doing. The vision she has speaks louder than anything my reputation or influence can do for her. This is her time and her stage to shine upon. I am simply down for the ride. All credit for this goes to Ms. Marshall.” The audience applauded again. 

    “We would love to partner with you in the future Ms. Marshall so James and Corrier will definitely be keeping eyes on you. Let us again thank Mr. Iwase and Ms. Marshall once again!” Everyone stood on their feet and clapped as he slowly bowed. She bowed her head and soon they exited the stage. The cigarette inside of her holder had burned up into ash and she scowled, throwing it down. Fury coursed through her. He thought ruining the Iwase reputation was acceptable did he? No matter the feud between him and her, she would not allow him to air the Iwase laundry. This was a secret she had to keep hidden by any means necessary. 

***

    Bottles popped and champagne flowed, leaving the two startled. All around, the faces of their team radiated with happiness.  

    “Rae…I can’t believe it! Look at God!” To her surprise, Leah Williams came through the crowd and squeezed her hands. She giggled, tears coming to her eyes. 

    “You made it..” 

    “Of course I did! This was more important than anything else!” She hugged her. 

    “It’s been so long Lee.”

    “Girl…don’t even get me started…” Pulling away from her, she turned to face him, whose eyes hadn’t left Lee yet. 

    “Mr. Iwase, this is Leah Williams.” He bowed his head politely, eyes staring right into her soul it seemed. 

    “It’s nice to meet you Ms. Williams.” 

    “Same here Mr. Iwase. Rae’s never before been this happy and I can tell that you are good people.” 

    “Thank you.” 

    “She’s never told me about you before.”

    “Same.” They both turned eyes on her. 

    “Uh… okay can we do introductions later?” Lee pursed her lips. 

    “Durn skippy.” Without another word, she was nearly bomb rushed by persons from all sides, all eager to talk with her about her endeavor. The two watched from the side as she basked in the adoration and praise. 

    “How long have you been friends with Rae?” He turned his gaze down to the smaller woman who had spoken. 

    “Almost fourteen years.” She blinked at him, mouth slightly ajar. 

    “Fourteen years?! Damn. You known her longer than me!” 

    “Does that devalue your friendship somehow?” He asked curiously. 

    “No..but whew. That’s a long time. How y’all meet?” His eyes turned back onto Rae, his lips smiling. 

    “We met in high school. Circumstances brought us together and we’ve been connected ever since.” He felt her eyes on him. 

    “You love her.” That made his smile grow slightly bigger. 

    “Yes. I do.”     

    “Does she know?”

    “If she doesn’t by now, I have no problem showing her again.” 

    “Oh snap.” He laughed, shocking her. 

    “You sound just like her.”

    “Well…that’s why we clicked in college.” 

    “Ah yes, please tell me about her then.”

    “You don’t know?”

    “It’s a bit complicated but no. I don’t.” 

    “Well we were the “shorties” as she called it. Both small but fierce. I had issues of my own and she came to the rescue one night when it had gotten really bad. We were inseparable.”  

    “I can tell you two were a force to be reckoned with.” Lee smiled. 

    “Yeah. But I don’t know… I be feelin so bad when I can’t see her as much as I’d like to.”

    “Don’t feel sorry Ms. Williams. Rae understands that with whatever it is that you do, you are working very hard to make your dreams for yourself reality. She’s supportive of you, that I can tell. Don’t apologize for trying to make your life better.” Lee was silent for a little while until she spoke again. 

    “You right. I appreciate it.”

    “No problem Ms. Williams.”

    “Lee, Leah… anything but Ms.Williams. You makin me sound like some old school teacher.” She teased with a laugh. He chuckled. 

    “Well then Lee… I insist you call me Hiroto. Deal?”

    “Deal.” 

    “Before folks find out I’m gone, let’s get goin now!” Rae said suddenly, rushing by them as she headed out of the door. 

    “After you my lady.”

    “Thank you.” Chuckling, they followed her and soon made their swift getaway. 

***

    “So, Hiroto told me all about y’all.” The three had slipped into a small vintage diner, each held a cup of coffee in their hands. Rae however, choked on hers. 

    “Huh?” Lee’s eyes twinkled over the rim of her cup and she glanced at said man who sipped his cup of joe nice and easy. 

    “You ain’t tell me you had such a fine man over here. I woulda tried to get you to hook me up with one of his friends long ass time ago.” Another cough and the cup was put on the table. 

    “Lee!”

    “What…” She shrugged, a grin on her face. 

    “You a mess.”

    “You already knew this.”

    “I can’t. Hiroto you hear this?” He cleared his throat, the tiniest smirk on his face. 

    “I’m sorry what?” 

    “First, y’all ain’t know each other and now y’all in cahoots.” 

    “While you were being adorned, we had time to get to know one another.” His simple and emotionless answer. 

    “I don’t trust y’all.” Finally, a chuckle escaped his throat. 

    “That hurts babe.” 

    “Nah nah nah. You two are trouble together. I shoulda known.” 

    “Listen, ya boy got his head on straight, loves you and wants to worship the ground you walk on. Again I ask, do you gotta friend…brotha…somebody?” Lee asked with a dramatic sigh.

    “Lee stopp…”

    “I ain’t.” She replied, sticking out her tongue out at her.

    “Something tells me you two were just like this in college.” He mused, the biggest grin on his face yet. 

    “Yep. Rae over here actin brand new cause you here. But she just as bad as me.” 

    “Is that so?” 

    “Oh Lord…y’all two…”

    “You got yourself a handful Hiroto. I tell you.”

    “Nothing I can’t handle.” He winked at her, a furious blush spreading through her cheeks. 

    “This been a treat. Sad I gotta go back to Cali.” The mood suddenly dampened a bit. 

    “If you don’t mind me asking..what is it that you do?”

    “I own a private practice specializing in drug addiction and clinical disorders.”

    “Quite impressive. You seem very young to own a practice.”

    “So I’ve heard.”

    “My best regards to you Lee.”

    “Thank you.”    

    “When you flyin back?” Rae asked, a pout on her face.     

    “Early in the morning. Y’all be sleep by the time I fly out.”

    “Aw…”

    “Don’t worry Rae, I come back to visit.”

    “You’d better.” He watched the two women with a smile and soon they finished their coffee. 

    “I’d better gon back to my hotel. Now that you done running from the masses, gon relax. You did amazing up there.” They paid for their respective drinks and stood up. The two women hugged tightly before letting go. 

    “It was nice to meet you Hiroto.”

    “Pleasure as well.” Soon, they parted ways. 

    “She’s a great friend.” He commented as they headed to her apartment. 

    “She really is.” 

    “I have to say..I am so proud of you baby. You were exceptional today.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. 

    “Thank you. Now I wanna get this make up off, let my hair down and get comfy.”

    “Sounds great.” 

    “Stay for a while?”

    “Can’t. Have an engagement tomorrow morning myself.”

    “Aw..okay then.” She sighed as they pulled up to her door. Getting out, she leaned in and kissed him. 

    “Space you later cowboy.” He hummed against her lips. 

    “See you soon.” 

***

    The next morning, he went to a community service luncheon where business leaders met and interacted with the local community. As he went around and observed, he noticed the skepticism surrounding his initiative. Eyebrow raised slightly, he followed other men into the main hall. Whatever doubts remained concerning his move would be brought to an end today. He wanted to make clear that it wasn’t because he had money or knew of people with money. All of this had come from his heart.; it was his heart. When it was his turn to speak about Junsui, he stood and cleared his throat.

    “Good morning ladies and gentlemen. Before I start, I have a secret that I want to share with you.” He faced what seemed like thousands of eyes, all trained on his next words. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. His heart beat against his chest and for a moment, his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. No one outside of Rae and Tobu knew what he was about to reveal. But in this, transparency was a must. It would save so many. 

    “I was verbally, mentally, emotionally and sexually abused by my parents and other influential adults as a child.” The weight of his statement shook the audience and he felt his nerves rattle inside of him. Such young faces…some old…some in disbelief and some in awe. 

    “Being the only son of my very prestigious family, pressures were put on me to be absolutely perfect. Anything that was less than was deemed unacceptable. My parents forced me to have multiple sexual partners with many women… varying in age.” Still, silence. He felt like his heart was going to come out through his chest. Tightly gripping his fingers, he stood still, swallowing thickly. Members of his board were here this morning, associates and partners from other firms. And of course, the kids. They all had to know why Junsui was so important to him. 

    “From the age of 7 until the age of 19, I was prostituted throughout Japan. It was a never ending cycle of torture and abuse and I have just now began to tackle it.” Now began the murmuring. The judging. He, however, stood strong and tall. 

    “I come to you all this morning, having revealed the most secret part of me for a purpose. To all of the children who have come to attend this morning, I thank you personally. Many of you, I look at and see myself. Hurt, broken and searching for something to fill the emptiness inside. I hope that instead of a guy you see on television with lots of glitz and glamour, you see someone who has been where you are and knows the struggle you face. I am so grateful for you and hope that through Junsui, you can one day reclaim the dreams you once had and make them reality.” That was it. This was all he had before he started to grow dizzy. 

    The camera seemed to swallow him whole and yet the next sound brought him back, forcing him straight and steady. Loud roaring applause. Many of the kids had stood up, some with tears in their eyes. Associates and partners… they all received him. He felt tears well up in his eyes and for the children's’ sake didn’t try to stop it. He slowly smiled and bowed before he felt arms enclose around him. Opening his eyes, he saw so many young faces, eyes filled with gratitude. He hugged them back tightly and allowed himself the tears. He hoped they would fight for their lives and fight for their freedom. Like him, they too could have happiness, sanity and good things. God protect each and every one. 

***

    A glass smashed against the wall, red wine splattering all over the white surface. How dare he! How dare he embarrass the Iwase name! He wasn’t worthy then nor was he worthy now of the name. Lungs wheezed and grew tight. She would kill him. If she had to… she’d take him out to protect everything she had earned. She’d be damned if he tarnished the legacy she had sacrificed so much to build. 

***

      The sun had began to set and lit the sky with the richest shades of pink, purples and oranges. He pressed his face against a hip and sighed. 

    “Roto, what’s wrong?” He pulled her closer. 

    “I can’t stop thinking about my mother.” She leaned up and gently slid fingers through his hair. 

    “This is random. Why’d you start thinking about her now?” 

    “She’s far too quiet.”

    “Listen, you had a wonderful day, made an amazing impact on the kids…why even think about her?” He pressed his cheek against her hip. 

    “She is the biggest fraud to ever taint my family and I will expose her.” Her fingers paused. 

    “What?” 

     “She has twisted the truth and deceived everyone around her.” 

    “Whoa okay you lost me…Where is this comin from?” He lifted up, jaw tight. 

    “I found some damaging information that Eri tried to hide. While she was obsessed with you, this secret she let slip through her fingers.” She blinked, taking in the seriousness of his tone. 

    “What secret?” 

    “Something I’m not yet ready to reveal. But, trust and believe… it will be rectified.” 

    “Roto…” He leaned over and gently nuzzled her lips. 

    “When it’s time, I will let you know.” She slid her fingers around his neck. 

    “What are you going to do?” 

    “Nothing.” He breathed against her mouth. 

    “Don’t say that when I know you are.” 

    “I won’t do anything too rash. I promise.” She sighed, pulling back slightly, looking him straight in the eyes. 

    “You mean it?” 

    “I promise.” 

    “Okay..” She laid back against his pillow and turned her eyes onto the sun which had been swallowed up by the horizon, leaving tendrils of violet darkness in the sky. 

    “You look tired.” Her eyes fluttered closed as she felt his fingers glide down her cheek.

    “Yeah with Junsui and everything, ya girl been real busy.”

    “Well, if you feel up to it, you can rest here.” 

    “I’ll take you up on that.” She turned and snuggled against him, wrapping her arm around his waist.

    “See you in the mornin?”

    “Bright and early.” 

    “Kay.” 

***

    The sound of something smashing jolted him awake. He laid still for a moment and listened, his senses on high alert. Soft footsteps traveled through what sounded like the kitchen. Female. His heart sunk into his stomach and he reached up to run exhausted fingers across his face. The only one with information to gain access inside was Noa. Gently flipping the covers back and across Rae, he lightly put his feet on the floor. Pushing his hair back from his face, he made his way into the kitchen. There she stood, cabinets open, reaching for another plate. 

    “Noa, what are you doing?” She froze. 

    “Why are you breaking in my house in the middle of the night?” She turned, anger having made her skin blotchy and lifted the plate in her hand.  

    “You bastard…you cheating scum…” Sighing, he came closer with the intent of grabbing his quite expensive plate from her. To his dismay, it narrowly missed his face as it crashed into the floor. 

    “She’s up there isn’t she? Did you sleep with her?” 

    “What are you doing here?” 

    “I came to crash your little party!”

    “I could have you arrested for burglary. You understand that right?” 

    “This is the only way to get you to listen to me!” 

    “Noa-”

    “How could you choose that insignificant black bitch over me? You’re actually going to allow her to taint your blood? This is all unacceptable! I would have loved you until my last breath!” Another plate smashed by his face and he tightened his fists. 

    “What we had was never a relationship.” 

    “This is not fair! This is not the way it should have been!” 

    “If you have a problem, take it up with Eri. You’ve been cheated at the hands of my conniving mother and for that I sympathize. But I will not sacrifice or apologize for the love I have for Rae. The choice in how you live your life now is up to you. I’m finished with you.” She began to wheeze angrily and ran to him hitting him. 

    “How did she win you? What did she do?” She screamed, pounding his chest. He didn’t stop her. He deserved it. In fact, he deserved for both of them to hit him. He’d prolonged this simply out of dread and it had boiled over. Each hard blow of pain left him gripping the table behind him. He had to let her get this out. She had kept it in far too long.     

    “You’ve followed her all the way here. You’ll go to her until you die.” He couldn’t reply. She was right.

    “Noa,” He suggested once her blows softened. She was crying, her body shaking.

    “Look at me.” Her teary eyes found his. 

    “I’ve been nothing but an asshole to you and unfortunately, I can’t and won’t change that. I cannot give you something that was never yours to begin with.” She bit her lips, tears flowing down her cheeks. 

    “You deserve a man who will love and cherish you for the rest of his life. A man that will give you his heart unselfishly and fully without question. I believe that someday if you are willing, you will find that man.” He swallowed and lifted her face, giving her the tender touch she had been craving for so long at last.

    “I don’t wish anymore harm to you Noa. Learn to provide for yourself and depend on no one but yourself. Be patient and humble. Be free from everything and everyone who desires to hurt you. If necessary, separate yourself from your family until you find who you are and are comfortable in that identity.” This was the only advice he could give her.

    “Why do you sound like a big brother right now?” She sniffed, reaching up to wipe her tears. He let his fingers fall from her chin. 

    “It is something I could’ve been but my mother had other plans for you and I.” 

    “You’re going to her now aren’t you? You can’t be away from her one second. It’s actually kind of pitiful.” He allowed himself to kiss her forehead and pulled away from her. 

    “Love is indeed quite pitiful.” He replied, eying her with an emotionless gaze. She sighed. 

    “Fine. I’m done with trying to make this work. I’ll going home.”

    “I wish you well in your journey.”

    “I hope you understand that…I’ll always love you Hiroto.” He balled his lips, keeping silent. She sighed again and hastily wiped her tears. 

    “Here.” He stood still as she gathered herself and slowly removed the ring that had promised her so many things, things that had been nothing but lies. She placed the ring into his palm and flipped her hair over her shoulder. 

    “Goodbye Hiroto.” Once the door had finally closed, he lost all feeling in his knees. Sinking to the floor, he opened his palm to look at the ring. He hoped that this would be the beginning of a new Noa…one who would grow and flourish. Simply a young girl who had been lied to, he hoped she would overcome that and rise to her own in her own shadowHe gripped the ring in his hand. 

    “May I ask what the hell all this racket is down here?” He turned to find a sleepy irritable Rae standing in the hall, rubbing her eyes. He found strength to stand and swallowed. 

    “Kiko was here.”

    “I figured by this big ass mess.” She replied with a yawn, glancing at the shattered pieces of plate all over the kitchen floor. 

    “I ended it.” 

    “Ended what?”

    “Our engagement.” 

    “You shoulda ended that way before now Hiroto.” Tightening his grip on the ring, he sighed. 

    “You’re right. I should have.”

    “And you didn’t why?”

    “I wanted to deal with her when I was ready to. It wasn’t fair to either of you and I intended to confront her soon.” She leaned down and picked up a piece of plate. 

    “Welp, it happened when it was supposed to I guess.” 

    “Be careful babe. Let me get that.” He gingerly took it and threw it in the trash. 

    “I’m glad you finally ended it with her. That heifer was gon make me catch a case.” He chuckled. 

    “Let’s clean this up and go back to bed.”

    “Mm.” After the glass and porcelain had been swept up, he glanced at the ring that had enslaved him for ten years, gleaming in his hand. 

    “You think she gon come back? If that heifer decide she gon pop back up, I know somethin.”

    “She won’t.” 

    “Hm.” 

    “She’s gone. For good.” Throwing the ring into the trash, he slid his fingers through hers. 

    “Let’s go back to bed hm?”

    “Kay.” She let go of his hand and hoisted herself up on his back. Sighing against his jaw she smiled. 

    “Think we can sleep in extra late tomorrow mornin?”

    “If that’s what you want.”

    “Mmkay.” She reached down and grabbed his hand, ring finger bare and unmarred. Staring at it, she tightened her grip. Finally. As he laid her on the bed, she leaned up and kissed him, fingers tightly intertwined. 

    “You’re a free man now. How does that make you feel?” She spoke softly against the corner of his mouth. He sighed contently, a smirk coming to his face. 

    “It feels surreal.” She looked at him, eyebrow quirked up. 

    “Soak it up cause it’s real.” With a smile on his face, he pulled the duvet over them. Snuggling back in her favorite spot, she closed her eyes. 

    “Good night baby.” 

    “Good night.” 

 

***

    Picking up the phone, Eri Iwase scheduled a flight to New York. It had been a few weeks time, enough to let him get comfortable being away from Miyamae. As expected, she had returned to Tokyo and instantly, her family demanded a return of funds. She’d graciously given it back to them with a smile on her face, deep apologies coming from her mouth. But, inside she felt a rage like never before. Once again, it seemed as if she would have to do things herself. They always got done better that way. The man she called husband had always been too soft on him, leaving it up to her to fix it. She was due to fly in the morning after the next and she would show up to one of his speaking engagements. All of this would end and let her have her way, so would Ebere Marshall. 

***

    The crowd bustled with life and he swallowed thickly. Public affairs always made his stomach flip in knots. But… this one was sure to be the most special one yet. As it stood, today was his baby’s birthday. The day God had brought her into the world and blessed him with her existence. He felt even more nervous about what he had planned for later. Though the conference they were attending would last nearly all day, he wanted to take her out to eat something nice. Friends, family or alone should she choose. Straightening his bow tie, he slid fingers through his hair. He had been in deep contemplation since Kiko had finalized her separation from him and moved back to Japan. Having come to the end of that contemplation, he had decided that he would ask her to marry him. After everything they had been through, he felt they were finally ready to handle marriage. He wanted to set things back to the way they always should have been but first, she had to say yes. Clearing his throat, he pulled shaky hands away from his hair. His throat tight, he balled his fingers into fists and slowly began to make his way out into waiting area. He could feel the energy from behind the door. So many people had come to see him. 

    “Hey.” Turning, his breath stopped. She looked gorgeous, wearing a long sleeved dress, cut just right at her knee. Tights to cover her legs and a slight platform boot, she was stunning. A light feminine color adorned her lips and thin eyeliner graced her lids. Messy curls teased her neck and chin, having slipped from the updo. His palms began to sweat. 

    “H-hi.” She lifted an eyebrow. 

    “Stuttering huh? What’s gotten into you?” 

    “Nothing.” He answered, once again trying to clear his parched throat. 

    “You nervous…”

    “Nervous as hell.” 

    “Come here…” His body came at once without hesitation. 

    “You better at this than me. No matter how nervous you say you are. You never look it.” She said quietly, reaching up to straighten his tie. 

    “Rae?”

    “Yeah?”

    “I need a smoke.” She clucked her tongue, her fingers soon playing in his hair. 

    “Nah you got this. Mr. Calm Cool and Collected.” 

    “You think so hm?” Standing back, she sized him up one final time, a confident smile on her face. 

    “I know so. Come on, it’s time.”

    “O-okay.” She grabbed his hand and squeezed. 

    “Hiroto…you’ll be just fine.”

    “Mm.” Closing his eyes one last time, he inhaled deeply before the doors opened and every eye turned on them. She let his hand go and smiled at the applause as they began to enter into the auditorium.

***

    Eyes watched as they stepped unto the stage. How handsome he looked. Just like his father did at his age. That little twit bowed and soon left the stage. Eyes followed her until she sat down a little distance away. Good. Separated from him. 

    “Hello and thank you for all attending today’s conference! I am Hiroto Iwase and I will be talking about our new initiative Junsui.” Claps resounded throughout the hall and he bowed humbly until they waned.     

    “Truthfully, I wanted my second in command Ebere Marshall to come up here but as you see, she left me to fend for myself.” Chuckles. 

    “If you haven’t heard about Junsui, I’m curious to know what some of you think it is. Would there be anyone to take a guess?” A voice answered suddenly in the crowd. 

    “Perhaps one of your father’s past initiatives that you are continuing.” He lifted his eyebrows, impressed. 

    “My, you are well versed. No, Junsui was not something my father considered at the time. It is an organization primarily focused on providing shelter, employment, food, clothing and other basic necessities to young adults and children who have been sexually abused.” 

    “Where did the inspiration come from?” He swallowed but met the eyes of the person who has asked the question. A young teenager, skepticism tight on his face. Perhaps he doubted him; doubted this entire thing. But alas, it was not a show. 

    “As Ms. Marshall stated, she experienced it as a child and I thought a voice needed to be given to those who have been intentionally silenced.”

    “You talk about Ms. Marshall but what of yourself? If I remember correctly, you told the world that you too were sexually abused as a child. Is this really true?” Fists grew tight. Whomever was asking the questions needed to stop. 

    “Yes. You are correct.” It grew quiet as all eyes were trained on him. 

    “Members of my family subjected me to physical, mental and emotional abuse as well.” 

    “May I ask whom?” She had wanted to wait. Perhaps do this privately. But, now she hadn’t been given a choice. Slowly she stood up.

    “Hello dear son.” The calm over his face never wavered. 

    “Mother.” He spoke calmly, never once taking his eyes off of her. Ruby red lips smiled. Murmurs started amongst the crowd and he stood tall. She drew nearer, not caring about the cameras or the teleprompter that blazed unspoken words.

    “I’m so proud of you for doing these things in your father’s honor.” She spoke smoothly as the chit chat grew louder. 

    “On the contrary, I’ve done this in the honor of truth.” 

    “Truth?” It didn’t matter that the entire atmosphere had changed. Or that most of the people looked on curious to know what would happen next. His answer would determine how things would go. 

    “To my associates, partners and esteemed guests, this is Eri Iwase…my mother.” She warmly smiled and bowed. Awkward applause scattered throughout the room. 

    “If you wanted to know about the origin of who I am or why I agreed to start this organization, here lies your answer. This woman has made it her business to deceive everyone who crosses her path. And now, here she stands in front of you all.”  Now it was her turn to pause. 

    “What are you referring to?” She asked as she lifted. The room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. 

    “Come now mother. Surely, it has grown tiresome having to keep up with the act. I must say that you have played one hell of a part.” 

    “What are you talking about?” 

    “Your true identity.” Again, her lips smiled and she eyed him with the utmost seriousness. 

    “Pray tell, if I am not the woman who birthed you then who am I?” 

    “You’re a murderer.” At his statement, a gasp echoed throughout the room. But, laughter arose from her belly.

    “My, is that what you think?” 

    “Not once have you proven me wrong.” 

    “Come now Hiroto, this is not the place or the time. Must you do this in front of all of these people? Surely, I’ve raised you better than that.” Once and only once did a smirk escape the rather emotionless curtain on his face. 

    “You wanted to be at the center of attention. How could I as you son deny you that?”

    “Then by all means, tell me who it is you accuse me of murdering.” 

    “Eri Hada. 17 years old. Your sister by blood.” Her face grew white and her hands started to shake. 

    “Excuse me?” His glare was fearless and sharp. 

    “You heard me.” Fingers gripped together tight. 

    “Where did you hear of such a claim?” 

    “In the very place you least expected anyone to look. While you had your eyes on other things, you allowed yourself to become less mindful of the secrets you hid. I spent a great deal of time going through letters and other archival material that proves you did ir. Shall I too tell you the reason why you did it?” Silence. Her hand shook uncontrollably. The bastard. He spoke with such calm elegance, confidence not that far behind. He looked just like his father… the cold and emotionless stare that seemed to peer into the very soul. The question now was… how did he find out? She had killed many more in order to keep this one secret safe.  Yes, her hands were stained with blood and she didn’t regret it. In order to survive in a dog eat dog world, she had to be composed. She had to do what she had to. 

    “At a loss for words?” He asked, that damned curling up of his lip setting a fire in her chest. She might as well tell the truth. There was no sense in hiding what had been exposed.

    “Eri was too weak. She wasn’t fitting for the Iwase throne.”

    “You, Mizu Hada, were brash, conniving and callous. Not quite the ideal picture for the family.”

    “The bitch thought she was better than me because she laid underneath your father.” 

    “He loved her. And you couldn’t stand it. Allowing her to have yet again something that you wanted for yourself. After all, you were the ordinary one while she was beautiful. You were the undesired one while every man wanted her, regardless of status.” 

    “That is why she had to die. I couldn’t allow her to one up me. This time, I would get what I wanted.” Finally, anger began to cloud the rather droll expression on his face. 

    “You murdered your sister in cold blood, stabbing her with a hair pin.”

    “More than 50 times. I did.”

    “And while you stabbed her, she fought you.”

    “I had to fix it. So, I strangled her until the last breath left her body.” 

    “As if that wasn’t enough, you left her to rot while you stole her belongings.” 

    “I did.” 

    “The desire to be Iwase was so great that you erased her from your family history. You took her name and identity, in spite of it being a lie. You lied to my father and told him that your little sister Eri had slipped and fell while on a morning walk. In her honor, you would take her name and live to make her spirit proud. And he, grief stricken, believed you. Only a demon could be capable of such cruelty.” She felt the cold iciness of exposure wash over her. He had succeeded in publicly humiliated her in front of the entire world. At long last, the thing she was going to take to the grave had unearthed itself. Fury blazed bright in her belly. How dare he do this…like this.

    “Are you satisfied Hiroto? Having humiliated me in front of all of these good people?”

    “Not nearly as much as I could be.” Little did he know, they both more alike than he cared to admit.

    “Allow me then to make it even better for you.” She slid her hand inside the collar of her quite expensive dress and pulled out a dagger. He recognized it as being his grandmother’s. 

    “Avenge her.” She held the blade outwards towards him. Everything was still. Everyone was still, gripping their seats. 

    “Avenge both of the women that I forcibly took out of your life. An aunt who I am sure would have dearly loved you. And your old decrepit grandmother. As a son of Iwase, it is your right to seek vengeance for them.” The emotionlessness on his face was gone and what stood in the wake was centuries of fury and rage. His hands shook with the desire to spill blood. As was expected. The warrior spirit inside him wouldn’t allow him anything less than that. Nostrils slightly flared, he eased up to her, graceful and calculating. Grabbing the tanto, he gently flipped it and pressed it against the skin of her neck. By now, every one was on their feet, petrified by the heavy revelation. She smiled. Do it Hiroto. Show me what a proper son I’ve raised.

    “If you in your insatiable lust desire spilt blood, spill your own. This is only but a fraction of the punishment you shall receive. You have seen nothing yet.”

    “Are you afraid to do it?” His hand was calm and steady, his gaze so intense it sent chills down her spine. 

    “I will avenge my grandmother and aunt in a different way. They shall be avenged in the children to come. With every breath they take, they shall be paying tribute. And each God forsaken breath that comes from your lungs will be in payment for your sins.” 

    For you, Mizu Hada, I formally disown you as my mother and as a relative of the Iwase estate. As head, I declare that you shall live the rest of your days in solitary exile. As you once damned my grandmother, so I shall damn you to the same fate. You shall be stripped of every asset, benefit and monetary profit you received as wife of Shou Iwase and live as you once were. Sparing you your life seems a much more fitting punishment for the crimes you’ve committed. Don’t you think?”  He dropped the knife and it clattered against the stage floor. Turning his back to her, he addressed the crowd. 

    “To everyone in attendance, I sincerely offer my apologies for the wasted time and quite personal subject matter that came up today. It was not my intention to do this in front of you all or in this way. I will offer reimbursements should anyone be interest-” A loud disgruntled scream pierced the air and before he knew it, a sharp tearing ripped into his body. Turning, he found his mother pressed against him, tanto deep within him. Blood trickled down the hilt and slid across her fingers. She breathed heavily, eyes hidden by her hair. 

    “HIROTO!” That voice. One he’d know anywhere… but filled with such bloodcurdling terror. 

    “You’re just as weak as all the others. I had placed such great hope in you.” As quickly as she had the first time, she struck him again and again until he felt his legs disappear from underneath him. Screams rang out and at once someone pulled her away from him, leaving the knife embedded in his side. Once his head hit the floor, everything grew black. 

 

***

    She pushed. Tears having slid down her cheeks, she pushed against the throng of people. 

    “MOVE OUT OF MY WAY! HIROTO!” She cried, her throat tight. Slipping through a small opening, she grunted as she ran into more bodies. 

    “I HAVE TO GET TO HIM PLEASE! MOVE…MOVE!” Eyes turned to her and instantly recognized her. Soon, they started to break apart, leaving a clear path. There…up ahead she could see his hand which laid on the stage floor. 

    “Oh my God…” She ran as fast as she could and soon knelt above him. 

    “Hiroto…” His skin was pale, a growing pool of blood collecting underneath him. She lifted shaky hands to his face, her tears dripping on his lips and nose. 

    “Oh God…” Hysterical, she curled her fingers around the small blade with shaky fingers. 

    “Don’t pull it out or else he’ll bleed out!” A woman screeched, face ridden with worry. She let go, tears wetting her dress. How could she stop the blood? Already, his crisp white shirt had been bathed in it. Somewhere near, she heard laughter. It sent chills down her spine and she turned her head to find his mother, having been detained, staring at them. 

    “You tried to enter into my family. So I took what you wanted most away from you.” 

    “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR OWN FUCKING SON! HOW DARE YOU!” She snarled, anger hot in her veins. 

    “He should’ve taken the opportunity. He was weak. Just like his father. Just like his grandmother and aunt. It’s inexcusable for an Iwase!” Fresh tears welled up in her eyes and she pressed her forehead against his chest. 

    “Please… someone…help him…”

    “Someone called the ambulance! They will be here in five minutes. Hold on to him until then.” She sniffed and nodded, bunching up his shirt in her hands. 

    “Thank you.” Five. She could see the beads of sweat that had started to bead upon his hairline. She reached up and slid disheveled hair back from his forehead and cheek. Four. 

    “Hiroto…” Three. She pressed her forehead against his, tears gliding down her cheek. 

    “I need you to fight…” Two. 

    “One last time…fight for me…fight for us.” One. Before she could utter another word, the hands inched back as the sound of sirens permeated the building. EMTs rushed into the room, bringing a stretcher.

    “Ma’am we’re going to need you to step back.” She inhaled sharply and obliged, watching as they cut open his shirt and peeled the wet fabric carefully from his flesh. The blade lodged in his body was left alone but they put a tourniquet on the wounds from his back. One of the EMTs checked his heart rate. 

    “His pulse is weak but it’s there. He’s lost a lot of blood.” Her heart beat for the both of them and she gripped her fingers together tight. 

    “Ma’am, we are going to transport him to the hospital immediately.” 

    “O-okay… I’m coming with you.”

    “All right. Ladies and gentlemen, please leave the walkway clear!” They straightened his spine and carefully lifted him onto the stretcher. Hooking him up to a heart monitor, they began to proceed down the stairs of the stage. She gripped his hand the entire time, finding herself running as they wheeled the stretcher out of the auditorium. Outside, they placed him inside the ambulance and helped her inside. She folded her arms around herself and bowed her head, tears flowing. God, please save him.

***

    Hands pressed against him, fingers outstretched, nails piercing the skin beneath. The sound of weeping struck his heart and he heard one word and one word only: Live. Slowly, eyes opened and pupils dilated to adjust to the intense pouring in of light. It was then that he felt the pain all over his body. The most intense in his back and side. He glanced down and found small brown hands on his chest, a face hidden by a cloud of hair.

    “Rae.” She lifted up. She had been crying, her cheeks glossy. 

    “Hiroto! Oh my God…” She lifted and pressed as much of her body against his in a hug as she could. He groaned and couldn’t control his body’s certain urge to lift. 

    “No no no…” Those hands pressed against him again.

    “Relax..” He inhaled deeply and let her voice wash over him. Rae. When he felt he could, he opened his eyes again and this time, vision was clear as they set on her face. Her voice was strong. Just as he expected it to be. 

    “When…did I get here?” He asked gruffly, licking his cracked lips. She reached up to wipe tears from her face, clearing her throat. 

    “Hours ago. Eri narrowly missed one of your major arteries.”

    “How long have you been here?” He asked, looking at her sister who had stood.

    “Bout an hour. Just comforted Rae and prayed a lot..”  

    “Thank you.” She gently squeezed his hand. 

    “I’m just glad you’re breathing Hiroto. God knows what Rae would have done if you hadn’t made it.” The smile on his face faltered as the pain stung him again. 

    “I go get the doctor… hold on.” Amee left them. 

    “How…are you doing?” He asked in between breaths, taking in her face again. 

    “I wanna know how you doin.” 

    “I’m fine now that… I’m seeing you.” She took a shaky breath and looked down. 

    “I don’t know what I woulda done if…” 

    “No ifs. It didn’t happen.” He swallowed the pain and tried to straighten up. 

    “But it could have.” Gently, he brought her gaze upward. 

    “It didn’t.” Slowly, her arms came around his shoulders, fingers deep in his hair. He pressed his face against her chest with a deep sigh. No words were spoken between them and he was glad. He couldn’t begin to vocalize just what he felt in his chest. Her warmth and scent was enough. She pulled away from him, only slightly. Her eyes spoke so many things… how afraid she was. How grateful she was. Just how much she loved him. He leaned up and tenderly pressed his lips against hers. She fisted his hair and deepened the kiss instantly, allowing him to taste her fear and gratitude. Hands slid across her jaw and tears from her eyes wet his lips. She pulled back, biting her lips to try to silence her cries. 

    “Don’t do that…” He whispered before their lips connected again. The cry came into his spirit and he breathed against her neck as her lips created tiny little sparks across his jaw. 

    “I’m so glad….you didn’t leave me…”

    “I wouldn’t dare leave you.” The underlying hunger that lived in her bones called out to him and his body started to grow warm, in spite of the pain. Desire stirred in his stomach and he let his mouth meet hers one last time. Such a pity he could do nothing else. A groan vibrated in his chest and she took it in, fingers gently pressing against his stomach. Before they separated, a throat cleared suddenly. She pulled away from him, biting her bottom lip. Cheeks, warm, he swallowed and let her go. A doctor stood in the doorway, holding a clipboard to his side.

    “Mr. Iwase, how are you feeling?” 

    “I’m in a hell of a lot of pain but I’m alive. For that, I am grateful.” 

    “Yes, you sustained three stab wounds, all very deep. The woman who stabbed you narrowly missed a major artery by an inch. Had it ruptured, it would have killed you. Thankfully, it did not. You fought to live and you won. I’m proud of you.” 

    “I appreciate it.”

    “We’ve stitched up your wounds and should be releasing you in a few more hours. We want to monitor you just a little bit longer.”

    “That’s fine. Thank you again.”

    “You’re welcome. We’re going to give you something for that pain too.” 

    “Thank you.” It was quiet as the doctor left them. Amee stepped forward, arms wrapped around her waist. 

    “Besides the pain, are you feeling better?”

    “Much.”

    “Good. Rae?” 

    “Huh?”

    “You good?” She pursed her lips. 

    “I’m pissed as hell but I’ll be all right.” She took a deep sigh and came to stand on the other side of his hospital bed. 

    “I ain’t know your mama was that crazy Hiroto.” 

    “It’s not a surprise. If she had been given a chance, she would have tried much much more.”

    “What do you think is gonna happen to her?” Amee asked next. He licked his lips and closed his eyes. 

    “I tell you what needs to happen. She need to take her old ancient ass back to Japan before somebody take her out.” Rae growled, sucking her teeth. 

    “Rae! Let the man talk.” 

    “Hm.” He opened his eyes. 

    “She will be deported back to Japan and start her sentence immediately.”

    “So you pressin charges?”

    “You can say that.” 

    “Wait… what you mean?”

    “What I’ve declared is greater than any sentence the authorities can come up with.”

    “And what is that?” Rae asked, crossing her arms. 

    “I’ve stripped everything from her. She is no longer recognized as my family and I’ve sentenced her to a life long of exile, just as she did with my grandmother.” The two women looked shocked and for a moment couldn’t say anything. 

    “As soon as she hits Japanese soil, there shall be federal guards there to take her to a pre-determined destination. These specific guards I’ve chosen come from wealthy families and are well versed with the laws of Old. Replicating the caste system that was once set in place, they serve as a private form of enforcement aside from the police. There is nothing that she can and will be able to get away with.” Silence ensued for just a while longer. 

    “Damn Hiroto. You served that revenge cold.” Amee finally spoke up, an impressed expression on her face. 

    “Just the way she deserves.” He answered simply.  

    “Well, you guys won’t have anything more to worry about then. So, whatever you two decide to do from here… I got y’all back.” He nodded at her.  

    “I’m gon head back to the house. Rae, take care of him okay?”

    “You know I will.”

    “I’m so glad you’re okay Hiroto.” 

    “Thank you my dear.” She hugged Rae and soon they were left alone. She exhaled loudly

    “She’s gotten just what she deserves.” 

    “Yes. She has.”

    “I can’t believe she really did all of that. To kill your own sister because you both wanted the same man?”

    “Jealousy is truly something.” She shook her head. 

    “Roto,”

    “This is the last time she will ever inflict any harm onto me. I’ve made sure of that.” She came to his bedside. 

    “Good.” His hands suddenly started to shake and he pressed them against his side. She lifted them and pressed her lips against his knuckles. 

    “It’s all over now. Now, you can breathe.” She leaned down and gently skimmed his jaw with her lips. 

    “It doesn’t feel real.” 

    “It’ll take a moment…” 

    “Rae?” 

    “Hm?” 

    “Lay with me.” His voice had grown whispery and soft. She shook her head no. 

    “I don’t wanna hurt you.” 

    “You won’t.”

    “Hiroto…”

    “Please.” She sighed. 

    “…Okay.”  Sliding off her shoes and taking off her cape blazer, she slowly climbed into the hospital bed. She pressed her cheek against his chest and slowly, his arms came around her. 

    “Am I hurtin you?” She asked, softly laying a hand on his bandage.

    “No. You’re fine.”

    “Okay..” She lifted and kissed his jaw. 

    “Are you sleepy?”

    “Mm.”

    “Let’s take a nap.”

    “Mm.”

***    

    A light breeze danced across her face and she gripped her fingers together tightly. Glancing back into the hospital room at his sleeping form, she sighed. The weight of what Eri did had hit her like a sack of bricks. Not even sure if she could be called Eri anymore, she didn’t even know what to think of it all. 

    Her mind still reeled from what happened. How could a mother intentionally and viciously attack her son the way she had? Regardless of all of the tradition, that was her son. A child held in her womb and brought into this world. And it had meant nothing to her. It was completely unfathomable.

     As the day turned into early evening, she leaned over the hospital balcony, allowing the summer breeze to greet her. What a birthday. It figured the day she was to turn the big three-zero things would go awry. Now that this had happened, she had been thrown out to the dogs and was given a true look at the world in which he had come from. Did she honestly want part in it? There were complexities that she’d never comprehend or grasp. It was never just about the money. Instead, it ran deeper than that. Something greater was coveted and anyone would do what they had to to acquire it. Power.

    She licked her lips. After everything that had happened to them… still they remained strong and unwavering. Almost everything had tried to break them and yet they refused to be broken. Clearly, it was meant for them to be together…despite being from such different planets. Honestly, she couldn’t imagine life without him. The very thought of losing him sent her into hysteria. Today was yet another reminder of just how much she needed him…and how much she loved him. A choice was laying in the balance and she wasn’t sure… 

    “Rae?” Turning, she found Hiroto attempting to get out of bed. 

    “Roto, what are you doing?” She called as she rushed back inside. 

    “I want to come out there with you.”

    “No…don’t move around too much… you might rupture your stitches.”

    “Help me up…” He was being stubborn and she sighed as she steadied him as he placed his feet on the ground. 

    “Are you in pain?” She asked, expression full of worry. He smirked some, gently gliding fingers down her cheek.

    “Rae, I’m fine.” Sucking her teeth, she pouted. 

    “We gon out here for a bit but then it’s back to bed.” He chuckled softly. 

    “Okay.” Hand at his side, they walked out to the balcony. At the wind, he inhaled deeply. 

    “Refreshing…” He murmured, smiling down at her. 

    “Mmhm.” 

    “You can let me go babe, I’m fine.” 

    “Hm.” Her hands slid away from him and things were quiet. She remained quiet, under the scrutiny of his gaze, her throat tight with unshed tears and unspoken words. 

 

***

    He watched her, observing her body language.  She had been frightened to death and still shook with it. His mother had tried her hardest to make them fall apart. But even on the verge of death, they both had declared that they would live for one another. Frankly, he didn’t give a damn about anyone or anything else. All that mattered now was Rae. His Rae. It had been years since they had given their hearts to one another. It had taken years for them to come back to each other. Like the waves of the sea, they had turned to and fro. He needed her. He wanted her. And most importantly, he wanted to show her that for as long as he lived.  Here and now, he was going to make all of that a reality.          

    “Rae?” Her eyes turned to face him. Bare, brown skin glowed and her hair in all its thick curly glory shined bright as the setting sun, amber showing through the strands. 

    “What are you thinking about?” 

    “Everything.” She replied, eyes at his chest. 

    “Such as?” He asked simply, taking her in as she gnawed at her lips. 

    “What happened today truly scared me. I…I don’t want to keep going through this.”

    “I understand.” Things were quiet for a while. 

    “I never realized just how much of a burden it could be… coming from the world you do…” 

    “It is something I tried to protect you from.”

    “I see that now…” She pursed her lips and turned her face towards the breeze. 

    “Suddenly… everything you did… it kinda makes sense. Because you loved me… you tried to protect me the only way you could think of..”

    “Sacrificing you for my mother was not a wise thing Rae. Regardless of my intention…what I did was wrong.” She sighed deeply and leaned forward a bit, outstretching her arms and hands. 

    “No wonder why you wanted to escape. Having that witch for a mother…enduring as much as you did…”  He came behind her, his fingers threading through hers.

    “We survived because we didn’t have a choice in the matter.”

    “Yeah.”

    “What that woman did frightened you in a way I haven’t seen in a very long time.” 

    “It did..” 

    “Hear me when I say this: There is nothing that she or anyone can do to hurt you or I again.” His voice was quiet but firm, his breath warm on her skin.

    “I…I want to believe you but what if she tries somethin again?”

    “Stop with the what ifs for a moment.” He spoke gently, pressing his lips against her shoulder.

    “Do you trust me?” She turned, bringing her eyes to his. 

    “Of course I do!” 

    “Can you trust me with your fear?” She swallowed and looked back out to the horizon. 

    “Yeah.” 

    “Then do something for me. Close your eyes and take a deep breath.” 

    “Roto…”

    “Close your eyes…” She closed them. 

    “Take a deep breath.” She inhaled deeply, the wind forcing her back against him. 

    “What do you feel?” She was quiet for a little while. 

    “I feel the wind and the sun…”

    “What else?” Her fingers gripped his tighter. 

    “Your warmth. Your presence. It’s all around me.” 

    “How does it make you feel”

    “Calm.”

    “Do you feel free?” His voice now was a whisper. Tears suddenly came to her eyes.

    “Right now…with you…I do.” 

    “It feels good doesn’t it?”

    “..Yeah.” 

    “You’ve been used to something or someone always getting in the way. Fifteen years of our lives have been interrupted by greed, jealousy, hatred and heartbreak. And right now, you’re not used to this feeling.” She breathed, tears threatening to overflow. 

    “You’re worried about me. The wounds I have. Whether we can overcome everything done to us. But, let me tell you this one thing…”

    “R-Roto…” 

    “These are battle scars and I will wear them proudly. They represent the freedom deserved and fought for. You do not need to worry or fear anyone or anything anymore. Can’t you see that we have been liberated from every obstacle that threatened to destroy us?” Her breath was beginning to hitch in her chest. 

    “The choice now is ours. There will be no one to tell us how to love or when. No one to tell us that should we choose to play in the sunlight that we cannot. Should the time come when we allow the love within us to be as colors upon the canvas of our skin, no one but the trees shall see. Only God Himself shall bear witness to the love we make and finally, we have that right. Now, without anyone in the way… the life we choose to live has endless possibilities.” She was quiet, weight of his words stirring her spirit. He could feel it ebb and flow within her and it reached out for his. 

    “Let me be selfish and ask something of you.” She sucked in a breath. 

    “W-what is it?” 

    “If I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you would you let me?” The cry that came from her pierced the sky, the stars above twinkling bright. 

    “Hi-Hiroto…”  The tears came, now smelling of happiness. 

    “Look at me Rae.” She turned to face him, biting her lips.

    “Let me take all the fears in your mind away. Let my hands provide, protect and cherish you. Let me fill your spirit with laughter, tears and joy. Let me give you what you deserve…my love and my heart…irrevocably and without barriers.” He reached up and gently brushed her tears away with his thumb. 

    “I want to you to reign by my side. But first, you have to allow me to be your husband.”  

***

    For a moment, she couldn’t speak, having started to cry, her heart full of emotions. But his lips just kissed the tears that fell until finally she could utter a word. Her heart pounded inside her chest and the feelings coming over her were unexplainable. 

    “Hiroto…” 

    “Hm?” She pressed her face against his chest, her hands sliding up to grip his shoulder blades. 

    “I…I love you.”

    “I love you too baby.” He kissed her cheeks and nuzzled her tenderly. She sniffed and looked up at him.  

    “I’ll…I’ll marry you Hiroto. I want to be yours and only yours for as long as we live.” The atmosphere shifted as he leaned down and kissed her. She lost her center of gravity, falling against him. The taste of him overwhelmed her and the force of his love and desire hit her womb with such an impact it left her breathless. She tilted her head, letting him deepen the kiss in a way that made her toes curl. His hands slid down to grab her bottom, lifting her up into his arms. She wasn’t aware that he had moved until she felt herself being lowered onto the hospital bed. She loosened her legs and let them slide lazily down to his hips. He gently sucked on her bottom lip before pulling away, his lips bruised. Her fingers danced along his side and paused above his hospital bandage. 

    “Careful…you don’t want to overexert yourself…” She whispered quietly. He gently laid her back against the pillows and pressed his forehead against hers. 

    “I could care less about that right now…” She let her arms circle around him, curling her fingers up against his back. 

    “You should..” He snuggled against her and closed his eyes. 

    “I wondered at one time if I’d ever feel this safe again..” He whispered against her clavicle. 

    “Now you don’t have to wonder. Now we can be as birds, the whole sky at our fingertips.” His lips smiled against her. She intertwined their legs, sliding her foot beside his. 

    “Mm…” She kissed his forehead and gently moved his hair out of his eyes. 

    “Do you still want to hide away from the world when it gets too much to handle?” She whispered against his cheek. 

    “If I do…can I stay forever?”

    “Stay as long as you want to.” 

    “You won’t leave me?” Sliding her lips up the bridge of his nose, she replied, 

    “No never.” His reply was the gently puff of breath that came to rest on her chest and she smiled. There he was…her precious little baby…His features calm and at ease. At long last, she’d have this to treasure for the rest of her life. He slightly moved and grunted as pain marred the peace on his face. She ran her fingers across the skin near one of his injuries and watched as he relaxed at once. Reminiscent of when they were children, she smiled to herself. At long last, everything had come to fruition and she was ready for whatever that would come. With nothing to hold them back, all they had to do was spread their wings and take flight. After all, freedom only came to those who were willing to fly. 

End Notes:

 

A/N: Wow. I am at a loss for words. This chapter took so much out of me but it was truly a pleasure to write. I have wanted to come to this moment for a very long while but I didn't want to rush anything. Everything has to feel right and I hope that everything does up until this point. Y'all, I have teared up and cried some writing (and reading) this chapter lol. My precious babies...Theirs is a love that cannot be explained and it has been a blessing to share that with you. One final roller coaster for the road and boy was it heavy. Kiko gon back to Japan, while everything concerning Junsui is starting to gain attention. To top it allllll off, Roto's momma come to the States and stabs him on national television. Oh, and...did anyone expect the secret Eri held on to to be so devious?? Sad that it happened...disgusting for someone to even consider it.  Lastly... the end. My favorite scene so far...Wow.  I wonder if anyone catches a snippet of it...said almost the same as if the past meets with the future Rae/Roto lol. Alas, now the America arc has finally reached its end and now Mr. and soon to be Mrs. Iwase will begin their new life in Japan. 

To be honest, I never intended it to be quite this long but see the thing is the Spirit of God is leadin this whole entire thing so I gotta be obedient to Him. Originally, I had dreamt this all the way through their life span. And I intend to carry that through. I know the novel is quite long already. If you have the patience to continue reading, I thank you sincerely~ <3 I will not rush anything. This has to be completely fleshed out and written in its own time. <3 I look forward to continuing this wonderfully rich and powerful story with you guys! Thank you for reading, supporting and loving my cast. Below, I will attach some pictures of outfits and things :) 

GOD BLESS YOU ALL! <3 Love you all much! Till next time, 

D&L

 

Rae's outfit: 

Hair: 

Yukie Nakama as Eri Hada (RIP) 

 

Tanto- Small knife 

Tanto used:

And lastly, a drawing or two of hands that I think represent this chapter so very well :D

 

 

 

 

Inflorescence by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

** WARNING: LANGUAGE AND A LONG CHAPTER AHEAD!** 


 


Soundtrack: 


Friendship-Ritsuko Okazaki 


Slow Dance-Suneohair 


 


 


 


 

    Fingers held onto hers in a steady grip as they began to walk briskly into Shoutoii. Behind them followed a mob of flashing cameras and reporters. Screaming a million questions per minute, the crowd damn near fought to get into the building. He said not a word as he calmly pressed the elevator button. She inhaled as his fingers came to press lightly against the small of her back.

    “Mr. Iwase! Are you and Ms. Marshall seeing each other outside of Shoutoii?” Ignored. His hand never wavered. 

    “How long has your secret affair with her gone on?” Ignored. 

    “Did Ms. Marshall purposefully come in between you and your fiancee?” His fingers slightly twitched but that question too was ignored.

    “Is it true that your mother tried to kill Rae?” His fingers gripped her back before he let them fall away from her. That could not be ignored. Slowly, he turned to face them, hundreds of flashes and microphones ready to absorb his words.

    “You’ll find out what you want to know with your opportunist digging so I won’t waste my time. When addressing my COO, you will show her respect. You will address her as Ms. Marshall and nothing else. Now, take a swift exit out of the building or I will have security called.” The elevator finally chimed and appropriately, right on time the doors opened and they stepped inside. It was quiet inside as the flashes of lights and hollering voices were cut off by the closing of the doors. For a moment they had peace. 

    “Thank you.” She said quietly, smiling up at him. 

    “Don’t thank me sweetheart.” They stepped out onto a silent floor, the tall glass doors to the main office facing them.

    “Let’s have a good day today.”

    “Mm.” 

***

    He knew they had been plotting and scheming as soon as Rae had rushed up on that stage. For the first time, they had gotten a glimpse of just what he meant to her and the last thing on her mind was public or business affairs. Since they had left the hospital, they were once again hit with rumors and accusations of every kind. Glancing up at her as she filed through some paperwork, he smiled. But they were indestructible. The whole entire world had seen their love and it had shifted perception of everything.

    “Rae, are you almost ready to go?” She looked up, blinking. 

    “Oh snap! Yeah. I was so engrossed in this work I forgot we gotta head out.” He smiled. 

    “That’s all right.” Setting the papers on the desk, she stood up. 

    “Today, we’re both goin to a luncheon huh?”

    “Mm.”

    “I hope they got some good food.” Chuckling, he pushed back his chair. 

    “Rae…” 

    “What? You know they always be tryna be fancy with they meals. All I ask for is somethin good.” 

    “I’m sure they will have something suitable to your tastes.”

    “Hm okay.” Glancing down at her fingers, only one interested him the most. There it stood, still completely bare. How absent minded of him for forgetting. They hadn’t had a chance to be alone since he was discharged. The press had been in their faces and work had been even more demanding than usual. Surely, this had to be remedied. 

    “Babe?” His gaze flickered up to hers. 

    “Hm?”

    “You good?” 

    “Mmhm.” 

    “Okay then let’s go.” 

    “Sure.” He licked his lips and slid a hand around her waist as they left the office, the many eyes that followed not a concern. 

***

    “WHAT HAPPENED??” Pulling the phone away from her ear, she bit her lips. The rustle and bustle of people rushed by her and she gripped the phone tightly, bringing it back to her ear. 

    “A, keep it down. I’m at an important luncheon.” 

    “Screw them people. What happened?” She smiled to herself. 

    “Hiroto proposed.”

    “OH MY GOD YES!” She giggled and pressed the phone closer.

    “Yeah…” 

    “And what did you say?”

    “I said yes..” Amee squealed into the phone so loudly, she had to yank the phone back sharply. 

    “OH MY GOD EBBIE!!!! THAT IS SO AWESOME! FINALLYYYYY OH MY GOD!” She felt her cheeks flush and licked her lips. 

    “Yeah with what his crazy ass mama did, it was the final push we needed I think.” 

    “You don’t know how long I have been waiting for you to tell me this… Ebbie…” She could hear the tears in her sister’s voice and bit her lip, tears of her own welling up in her eyes. 

    “Yeah… it’s… it’s time…” 

    “Did he give you a ring?”

    “Not yet. We haven’t had that much time to ourselves since comin back from the hospital. We jumped back into work.”

    “That’s understandable.”

    “Yeah it’s cool. We both know in our hearts what the deal is.” Amee squealed again suddenly into the phone, making her pull it away from her ear. 

    “You is engaged! YASSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!” Her heart did flips and warmth spread all across her body when she said it. 

    “Y-yeah…I-I am…” She said softly, glancing up at the many faces that passed her. 

    “Ebbie, I cannot deal. Finally. FINALLY.”

    “I know right?” 

    “You HAVE to let me know when dude pops that ring on you. YOU HAVE TO.”

    “I will. No worries.”     

    “Okay gon back to your little luncheon.”

    “Kay.”

    “Bye Mrs. Iwase.” She couldn’t control the squeal that came from her belly and clutched the phone tightly. 

    “Ameeeeee.” They shared a laugh before she hung up. With a sigh, she pressed her phone against her chest. She felt her entire being light up as a million stars and chills ran up and down her spine at even thinking about being ‘Mrs. Iwase’.  With another sigh, she stood straight and walked back into the convention room.

***

    He had been reading through a new initiative plan when he heard a yawn. 

    “Tired?” Smiling up at the woman across from him, he put the papers down. 

    “Yeah. I think it’s time to get to bed. What chu think?” He glanced at his watch and sighed heavily. Truthfully, his body was growing sluggish as well.

    “Yeah. I think we can shut everything down. You can barely keep your eyes open.” She stuck out her tongue at him and he chuckled. 

    “Let’s get out of here hm?” 

    “Thank God.” He folded the papers and put them into a long slender envelope and began to pack up. Soon, they made their way to the elevator. To her surprise, he pulled her against him and sighed against her shoulder. 

    “Roto?” Her voice asked in a question. 

    “Just tired baby…” Her hands came to slip underneath his jacket and slide up his back. 

    “You always the last to leave at night. Course you tired.” She answered gently. 

    “Mm.” The elevator softly made a ding and the small light illuminated the otherwise dimness of the space. 

    “You deserve a good night’s rest.”

    “Mm.” He hummed against her shoulder. He didn’t say anything else but held her close. As the doors opened, they headed to his car. The night was ablaze with streaks of red, yellow, green and white and the sky was clear. Soothing Louis Armstrong played on the ride and before they knew it, he had pulled up to her house. 

    “See you tomorrow… bright and early.” 

    “Mmhm.” He reached across and gently tucked stray curls behind her ear. 

    “Get some sleep babe.” In the lowlight, he could tell she was blushing and smiled. 

    “Y-you too.”

    “I will.” She swallowed before leaning in to peck him on the lips. 

    “Night.”

    “Good night.” 

***

    Her alarm blared, startling her awake. She pressed her face into the pillow, groaning. She had forgotten to turn the damn volume down some. Her heart almost shot into her throat. Sighing deeply, she pressed feet onto the cool floor and made it into the bathroom. Another day had begun and she was determined to have a good one. Yawning, she turned on the cold water and splashed on her cheeks and eyes. After a quick shower, she slid into a crisp white blouse and a navy blue skirt, wrapping a slender gold accent around her waist. Slipping into navy pumps, she headed out. Today, they were supposed to go to one of the centers which she had named Ayako. She was excited because it was one of the first times she would interact with the kids. Smiling, she came up onto her car. Knitting her brows together, she noticed a small note card tucked in between her windshield wipers. Grabbing it, she read it. 

 

 

    Good morning beautiful. I wanted to give this to you in person but decided I’d surprise you. I do hope it is to your liking.

With love, 

 

    She pulled the card away to find a small velvet box tucked into the wiper. Her heart began to beat faster. Lifting shaky fingers, she opened the box and froze. A beautiful diamond stared her in the face. It was cut in a vintage style; feminine curves of the metal swooped around the setting which made her head spin. A demure explosion of smaller diamonds gently adorning the sides of the ring. She felt tears well up in her eyes and she stared at it for the longest time, feeling as if she were walking in a dream. This can’t be real… Biting her lips, she closed the box and got into her car.

    ***

    Nibbling on his lip, his fingers breezed across the keyboard. He sat at his computer, small frames sliding down the bridge of his nose. His eyes lifted and his fingers paused as the door to his office suddenly opened.

    “Rae-” Sliding fingers into his hair, she silenced him with a kiss. He blinked at first from shock but soon, his eyes fluttered closed. She sighed against his mouth and her fingers tightened in his hair. His fingers itched but he kept them pressed lightly against her waist. Sooner than he liked, she pulled back some.

    “To what do I owe this pleasure?” He breathed, his voice whispery and light. 

    “That pretty little box you left in my windshield wiper…” He smiled against her lips. 

    “Ah…”

    “It’s so beautiful Hiroto…I love it…”

    “I was worried you might not like it..”

    “There was no chance of me not liking it.” She whispered against his lips. His gaze met hers.

    “Did you try it on?”

    “I was savin that part for you.” She lifted and reached inside her purse that she has tossed onto his desk. Pulling the box out, she pressed it into his hand. 

    “Put it on me.” He felt his cheeks grow warm. He slowly opened the box. He set eyes upon the ring that had captured him. When he had seen it, he knew it was the perfect expression of the way he felt. It was absolutely perfect. His baby wasn’t materialistic but her beauty was timeless. Picking it up, he turned eyes up to look at her, clutching her hands against her stomach. 

    “Come here.” She inhaled sharply but grew closer. Fingers slid the ring onto her finger, having not shook or trembled. Inside, he felt like a little boy, giddy beyond compare. Tears welled up in her eyes and she lifted her hand, tenderly touching it with her fingertips. Biting her bottom lip, she brought her teary gaze to his. She lifted shaky hands and pressed her palms against his cheeks.

    “Hiroto…” He smiled from ear to ear and slowly stood up, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

    “Hm?”

    “I love you so much.”

    “I love you too.” She wrapped her arms around him and for the longest, neither one of them said a word. She pressed her face against his chest and sighed as his fingers intertwined with hers.

    “I don’t think words can express what I feel right now.” He whispered against her temple.

    “It was a long time comin but… finally…we’re together at last…” He lifted her fingers to press them against his lips. Glancing down at the ring on her finger, he kissed her fingers again. The profession of their love so public and so blatant was so beautiful. He said not a word as his lips met hers. It was a while before physical words were uttered. 

    “If we don’t go now, we’ll never leave.” He whispered against the corner of her mouth. 

    “Yeah…” She breathed, her cheeks painted with a blush. 

    “Let’s go get em babe.”

    “After you tiger.” 

 

***

    The children ran up to them and nearly tackled them before they got in the door. 

    “Mr. Hiroto! Ms. Ebere!” She laughed and picked a small child up. 

    “Hello babies! Are y’all bein good?” 

    “Yes ma’am!” One little boy seemed perplexed by Hiroto and hadn’t stopped staring at him yet. 

    “What’s on your mind little one?” He asked as he crouched down, smiling at him. The boy lifted small hands and squished his cheeks. 

    “My name is Kyouta and I want you to come play with me.” The little boy answered, squishing his cheeks more. At the funny face he made, the kids started to laugh. She chuckled to herself and ruffled the top of his head.

    “I think you got to now Roto.” He pouted childishly, drawing more laughter. 

    “Okay then. You name it, we’ll play.” The boy wrapped both hands around his one, trying to tug him in the direction of the toys. 

    “This way! I wanna play blocks!” He let the young boy pull him and soon they were creating majestic skyscrapers as big as their imaginations would allow. 

    “Ms. Ebere, come play with us.” She slipped off her shoes and came over, sitting next to him. 

    “Wow, look at this! You guys made a really big skyscraper!” The little boy blushed and looked down. 

    “It’s not that big.” Leaning over, she lifted his small chin. 

    “Hey, where’s your imagination? I think it’s pretty big!” His blush grew deeper. 

    “Kyou-kun,” The boy looked up at him, eyes wide. Perhaps it had been a while since he’d been spoken to in his native tongue.

    “Don’t you believe in yourself?” Her expression grew soft at the young boy’s reaction. 

    “I-I don’t know…” 

    “You have so much creativity. Let’s explore some hm?” Kyouta nodded. 

    “What do you see when you look at this?” She asked, smiling at him. 

    “I see a building.”

    “Just a building?” Kyouta nibbled on his lips looking at it harder. 

    “It’s Ayako…” She brightened up and gently rustled the young boy’s hair. 

    “Why’d you pick Ayako?” 

    “Cause this is a good place. And I like it here.” 

    “What else do you feel when you are here?” She asked, glancing at the block building. 

    “I don’t know. I just feel like it’s a good place.” She nodded and glanced at Roto who eyed him with a soft expression. 

    “Kyou-kun, why don’t we build something else? Another place that means something good to you.” The boy was still for a little while but then nodded. 

    “Okay. Why don’t we build a sand castle?” 

    “Okay. We will need water and sand too.” 

    “It’ll be in our head!” He had said it as if it was a no brainer. 

    “Alright then. Let’s get building!” As the two began to build, she watched as Kyou began to laugh and glow. He liked to build things. Perhaps he was a future architect in the making. 

    “You’re building a whole city!” Roto mused, his eyes filled with childish delight. 

    “You’re too slow! I built all of this already!” They shared a laugh. 

    “Mr. Iwase…Ms. Marshall…” The moment was interrupted by an Ayako employee. The playfulness drifted off of Kyou’s face. 

    “We’d like to have you meet some of the other children.”

    “Sure!” She answered with a smile. 

    “Oniisama, will you come back?” At the title, the stoic expression on Roto’s face faltered. 

    “I will. I give you my word Kyou-kun.” The little boy nodded and sighed. 

    “Guess I have to find other kids to play with.” 

    “Kyou, we’re about to eat breakfast. Why don’t we go into the cafe?” 

    “Okay. Bye Ms. Ebere. Oniisama…” He bowed before going with another employee. 

    “What’s wrong with Kyou’s situation?” Roto asked, his eyes following the young boy as he turned around the corner. 

    “I’m sorry?” The woman blinked, following his eye. 

    “The way you interrupted us suggests that there is a problem. I’m asking you what it is.” He turned eyes to the woman who clutched her hands together. 

    “Well… Kyou is one of our more difficult kids here. He’s been through a lot.”

    “Such as?”

    “He was molested by his uncle at the age of five.”

    “How old is he now?”

    “Seven.”

    “That is ridiculous.” She interjected, disgust written all over her face. 

    “What else is going on with him?” Roto asked, sliding hands into the pockets of his suit. 

    “He was recently orphaned.” Her heart dropped. The poor baby… 

    “What happened to his parents?” 

    “They got into a car crash a few weeks ago and his other relatives didn’t want to take him in. They brought him here.” The severity of the situation made him tighten his jaw. 

    “I see.”

    “Ayako is the best place for him Mr. Iwase. We’ll take good care of him.”

    “Is he in one of the dormitories?” 

    “Yes. With two other boys.”

    “How’s he doing?” 

    “He is distant and does not interact much with the others.” He didn’t reply.

    “Before we leave, we can say goodbye to Kyou.” She suggested softly, looking up at him. 

    “That’s all right. I won’t deviate from our arrangements.” The employees were still as his hand came to press against her back. 

    “Shall we go?” 

    “Yes. We have a surprise up ahead.” They began to lead them down a colorful hallway, decorated with beautiful hand made paintings and drawings the kids had created. All she saw was the inner most nature of a child. When you took away the traumatic events, all you saw was light, life and joy. She felt fingers slide through hers and glanced up at Roto, who smiled gently. 

    “What’s up?” She asked, smiling back at him. 

    “Just watching you.” She felt her cheeks grow warm. 

    “Oh?”

    “You’re mesmerized by the artists we have here hm?” She smiled again as her eyes danced across the various colors and textures. 

    “Yeah. These kids are so promising.” 

    “Mmhm.” She squeezed his hand. 

    “You’re unusually passionate about Kyou-kun.” He nodded. 

    “I recognize the same signs of emotional detachment in him that I had as a young boy.” 

    “Wow really?” 

    “Yeah.” 

    “I noticed his gravitation towards you.” 

    “I will definitely be back to visit him.” 

    “I think it would mean the world to him if you did.”

    “Mm.”

    “If you would please direct your attention this way…” They looked at the women who smiled gently. 

    “This is our recreation area. Most of the pieces you saw in the hallways were created here. The children come here to relax and get those creative juices working.” 

    “That is awesome!” She said with a huge grin. Roto showed a small smile. 

    “Ayako has so much to offer these kids. It’s a great thing you’ve done Mr. Iwase.”

    “I had nothing to do with this. Ms. Marshall was the brainchild behind all of this.” She felt her cheeks grow warm again and humbly bowed her head. 

    “Ms. Marshall, may I ask why you named the place ayako?” She smiled at the young woman who had asked the question.

    “Aya means color. Ko means child. Ayako embodies what Mr. Iwase and I desire most…to inspire and bring forth the colorful nature of every child. Such promise we can hope for in these kids. I am very excited about the future.” 

    “I couldn’t have said it better myself.” He said, winking at her. 

    “Speaking of kids, here the others come now to greet us!” As they turned the corner, an flood of children came towards them, holding a handmade sign. 

    “Welcome Mr. Iwase!” They all greeted as they came to stand in front of them. 

    “Hello little ones. You didn’t have to come all this way.” 

    “We wanted to say hello.” One youngster said boldly as she pouted cutely.

    “We appreciate it very much sweetness. What’s your name?” She asked, kneeling down to take her hand. 

    “Amirah.” 

    “It’s nice to meet you Amirah. I’m Ebere.” 

    “You’re pretty.” She giggled and squeezed her hand. 

    “Thank you. So are you!”

    “The kids were all excited to meet you two. They spent a lot of time creating this sign.”

    “Thank you all so much.” 

    “It appears though that our time has come to an end kids.”

    “We just got to meet them!”

    “That’s not fair!”  He chuckled to himself. 

    “I’ll definitely be back! Don’t worry!” They turned to the women who had accompanied them. 

    “Thank you for showing us around. It’s been a pleasure.”

    “We appreciate you coming to visit us!” 

    “It was no problem at all!” She waved at Amirah who grinned. 

    “Bye guys.” 

    “See you later!” She slid a hand across his arm. 

    “Ready to go?” 

    “Mm.” They said final goodbyes and soon exited the Ayako building. As they slid into the back seat of the car, she took off her shoes. 

    “Good Lord.” She sighed as his fingers lifted her feet and laid them in his lap. 

    “Some time soon we need to go somewhere nice and quiet and relax.” Her eyes which were closed opened and set their gaze on him. 

    “Work calls Roto…work calls.” A slight grin came to his lips. 

    “I suppose.” She smirked and closed her eyes again, pressing her head against the seat rest. 

    “How tempting that sounds though. To just run and go somewhere else.” His fingers gently pressed into her aching flesh, bringing a hum from her. 

    “Where would you like to go?”

    “I don’t know… anywhere but here.”

    “Have you ever been to London?”

    “No but I’ve always wanted to go.” 

    “I am thinking of opening an office there.” Her eyes opened. 

    “Really?”

    “Mmhm.”

    “Why London?” 

    “I think it would promote the global vision Shoutoii is striving towards.” She smiled. 

    “I think that would be a good move. Perhaps one in Paris too.”

    “You took the thought right out of my mind.” Slowly, the ache in her feet was being soothed and she had grown more relaxed. 

    “I think you should go Cali. Once you have the major hubs here in the states, go abroad.” 

    “Mm…”

    “You’ve already established yourself as a successful leader of one of the top conglomerates in the world. Cali shouldn’t be a problem.” 

    “You’re the reason I’ve been so successful.” Heat blossomed on her cheeks and she pulled her foot back.

    “Hiroto stop. You were doing fine before me.” 

    “Behind every great man is his woman.” He replied, gently pulling her foot back towards him.  His eyes held her captive and she couldn’t look away as much as she wanted to. 

    I’ve definitely heard that…and t-to answer your question I’d like to go to France.”

    “City or countryside?” He asked, stroking the arch of her foot with his thumb. 

    “Both.” 

    “Noted.” 

    “Noted? For what?” It was then that their ride had come to an end and he gently lifted her foot to his mouth. 

    “Time to go.” He let her free and she sat up. Sliding her feet back into her shoes, she smoothed her skirt. 

    “I guess so.” He opened the car door and stepped out, extending a hand. She grabbed her clutch and grasped his hand, allowing him to pull her from the inside. As they entered, everyone seemed to notice just how close they were, every touch under scrutiny. One woman couldn’t stop staring at the ring which sat so delicately on her finger. Ears peeled for any and every bit of information concerning him, his family… even the two of them. She was starting to think this whole engagement was a set up. 

    “…my father grew ill so I took control of the business in his place. I didn’t intend to develop a love for it but alas I did.”

    “You’ve accomplished so much. All of this at 29 years old? What a talented kid you are.” She thought it would subside but suddenly, she was the target for interrogation. 

    “What a beautiful ring! Are you getting married Ms. Marshall?” The question made her want to vomit. She would have been better off staying with the kids at Ayako.      

    “Ah…well…” The woman who had asked had a thin plastic smile stretched across her face. The old bat was searching. 

    “I’m sorry dear?” She tightened her grip on Hiroto’s arm to steady herself. 

    “Yes.” She grit out, trying to remain calm. 

    “Whoever he is has wonderful taste. I recognize the craftsmanship of the ring.”

    “Oh?”

    “Very expensive. Custom made.” 

    “Ah…” 

    “Whose the lucky bastard? Is he in attendance?” The light touch of his fingers against her back steadied her further. She cleared her throat. 

    “I don’t think it’s any of your business who or where he is.” The woman blinked, the smile turning sour.

    “I see. I didn’t mean to intrude.” She dismissed her with a turn of her head. 

    “If you would excuse us.” He led her away and only then could she let out a breath. 

    “Roto…I don’t like feeling like I have to put on a front around these rich uppity folks.” 

    “I apologize if you have felt you needed to.” 

    “I just want people out of our business. Every little thing we do is considered scandalous.” 

    “We’ve always been the center of attention when we’re together.”

    “It don’t make no type of sense.”

    “We’re an anomaly.” She sighed. 

    “I’m trying to fit into your world…but it’s hard. I don’t understand it.” He leaned in close, his lips a breath away from her ear. 

    “Stop trying to fit somewhere you were never designed to be placed. You’re meant to be somewhere better than here.” 

    “Roto…”

    “We’re creating our own world to exist in remember?” 

    “…yeah…” He smiled as he pulled away from her. 

    “Now, where’s that smile I love? If you aren’t with me, I can’t be my best.” She began to smile and sighed heavily. 

    “I’m here.”

    “Hm?”

    “I’m said I’m here.” Grinning, he intertwined their fingers and squeezed reassuringly. 

    “That’s my girl.” 

***

    Summer was approaching with the quickness and with that meant a nice break up ahead. Even the CEO needed a break and he was allotted a quite generous one. With his trusted group of replacements, he needn’t worry about a thing. However, with all that time off coming up, one day was approaching and she wanted to make it special. He was turning 30 so soon and she had been thinking of the perfect gift. 

    Already, he’d been going to see Kyouta more regularly and in such a short time, the counselors had noticed a significant difference in his attitude. Kyou had attached himself to Roto and the two of them were like peas in a pod. Surprising him with a visit from him was out. What then could she do? The man was rather simple and didn’t ask for much. 

    Not too long ago, she had been talking with Lee and tried bouncing ideas off of her. But, the woman was far too excited with the news of their engagement so she wasn’t much help. Smiling to herself, she bit her lip. Lee had been just as bad as Amee if not worse. But she couldn’t wait to see her. And now ensued the dilemma. What to do for her fiancé? She had to get somethin goin. Clutching her cup of tea, she bit her lips as the noise of a local cafe surrounded her.

    “Babe?” Turning, she found the man of subject approaching her. In a sweatshirt, sweatpants and tennis shoes, he shone with a thin layer of sweat. He’d just come from the gym. Wet slick hair was pulled up into a bun and his cheeks were rosy.

    “Hey.” 

    “Funny I ran into you. I was just thinking about you.” He grinned handsomely, dimples flashing. 

    “What have you been up to?” 

    “I haven’t ran in a good while so I took a jog at the park nearby.” 

    “Ah. You look refreshed.” He nodded and pulled out his phone, setting it down on the table. 

    “Would you like something from the cafe?” 

    “Nah you gon head. I got tea.” 

    “Okay.” He went to get in line. A couple seconds later his phone began to buzz. At first, she left it alone not wanting to invade his privacy. But when she glanced over curiously and saw はな she froze. Glancing up, she spotted him standing in line to order. She swiped the answer button and answered. 

    “Hello?” 

    “Hello?” A confused female voice replied. 

    “May I ask who is calling?” 

    “Ah… I’m sorry…I am Hana.” She felt her heart leap. 

     “Hana?” At the language change, Hana switched slowly. 

    “…Who is this?” 

    “It’s…It’s Rae.” 

    “Rae-chan?!” 

    “H-hi…Hana-chan.” 

    “Oh my God it’s been so very long… how…how are you?” Tears welled up in her eyes. 

    “I’m… I’m good now that I’m hearin your voice…” 

    “Oh my God Rae… It’s been over ten years…”

    “I know…”

    “I can’t tell you how many times I thought about you over the years. I was so mad at Hiro-chan for hurting you.”

    “He definitely had work to do fixing it.” Hana laughed. 

    “He’s kept me up to date with you.”

    “Has he?”

    “Mm. He told me he proposed to you.” She felt her face warm. 

    “Y-yeah. We just recently got engaged.” Hana giggled girlishly and it brought a smile to her face.     

    “Finally! I have been waiting for him to ask you to marry him. Finally, things are right.” 

    “Hana…how…how have you been?” Hana clucked her tongue. 

    “I’ve been just fine Rae-chan. Do you remember Hisae?”

    “Of course I do!” The two women shared a laugh.

    “She still talks about you. Even after all these years, she remembered and cherished your tenderness.” 

    “How old is she now?”

    “She’s 13! She’s not little anymore.”

    “Oh wow! I know she’s beautiful Hana. Just like you!” 

    “Oh stop it…” She glanced up to see Roto at the counter. She felt a pang of homesickness. 

    “Time sure does fly.”

    “We have more than enough opportunity to catch it.” 

    “You think so?”

    “I know so.” She pressed the phone closer to her ear. 

    “I’ve missed you so much Hana-chan. I wanna come see you.”

    “You’ll see us soon. I promise.”

    “O-okay. Um… really quick…you know Roto’s birthday is coming up…”

    “Mm.”

    “I don’t know what to do for it. You know he doesn’t want anything big or too expensive.”

    “What about a small gathering?”

    “I wouldn’t feel right knowing you couldn’t come…” The sound of a snap tickled her ear. 

    “That’s it! Arrange a video call with me and Hisae! Then, it’ll be like we are all there!” She smiled. 

    “I like that idea! Thank you.” 

    “Mm..” 

    “I have to go now Hana…” 

    “Ah, please keep my number okay? We can’t go this long without talking again.”

    “Okay.” 

    “Ja Mata…” 

    “Ja mata ne…” She hung up the phone and quickly put her number in before he turned around. He went to the condiment bar, buying her a little more time to place it back on the table.  He smiled as he came back to her. 

    “What’d you get?” She asked, smiling back at him. 

    “Matcha.” 

    “Ooh.” He wiggled his eyebrows and sat down close to her. Holding the cup in his hands, he began to blow on the hot tea.

    “Your phone rang while you were away.” 

    “I’ll answer it later.” She watched him intently as he turned to look out of the window. There, etched into his skin was the milky way and the small stars that lit a path to his heart beckoned to her… just as they had years ago. 

    “Days like this make me miss home.” He spoke quietly, his eyes following the crowds of people that passed by the window. 

    “I can imagine…” 

    “I want us to go home Rae. We’ve been here way too long. It feels as if our stay has worn out its welcome.” She gently slid her fingers across his. 

    “I want to go back too.” He turned to look at her. 

    “If I told you I was thinking of moving sooner than later, how would you feel about it?” 

    “I’m ready.”

    “Really?” 

    “Yeah. All I need to do is make some arrangements and we could go from there.” He lifted her hand to press it against his cheek. 

    “Would you be comfortable with a few months time?” 

    “Of course! It’d give us time to find places and finalize everything with the office here in New York.” 

    “Mm.” 

    “I’m down with that.” 

    “Okay then it’s on.” She grinned. 

    “Like Donkey Kong.” He chuckled as he took a sip of tea.

    “Wanna grab a bite to eat after this?” Sure enough, her belly replied with a growl. He smirked. 

    “I think I got my answer.” She pouted cutely and rubbed her complaining stomach. 

    “Yeah…Belly been howling all mornin.” His eyes twinkled with glee. 

    “I have to feed her so she’ll be happy.” She laughed. 

    “You silly.” 

    “Let’s get goin.”

    “Cool.” She gathered her things and they left the cafe, in search of some good eating.

 

***

    “You see somethin you want?”

    “Nope.” 

    “Nothin?”  

    “Mm.” She had been asking him what he wanted for his birthday and he couldn’t quite give her the answer she wanted. On their journey to find food, they had stopped by a small bakery and she had gone inside to browse. At his lack of answers, she pouted.

    “You don’t want a birthday cake?”

    “Nope.”

    “Then what do you want?”

    “Nothing.” She stood with her hand on her hip, lips pursed. 

    “There gotta be somethin Roto…” With his health and his woman, what else could be had? 

    “I suppose I need a haircut.” She blinked, dumbfounded. 

    “You want a haircut for your thirtieth birthday?”

    “Yes. I want you to cut my hair.” She pointed at herself. 

    “Me?”

    “Mmhm.” She licked her lips. 

    “That’s all you want?” 

    “Yes.” 

    “Okay…I’ll give you a haircut.” 

    “Okay.” She shook her head and laughed to herself as they drew away from the bakery. 

    “You are somethin Hiroto.” He grinned. 

    “I know.” She punched him in the arm as they continued on. 

    “Shut up…don’t get cocky.” 

    “I believe it’s called confidence.”

    “Nah that’s straight arrogance.” He playfully stuck out his tongue at her and she bubbled with more laughter. The late spring air rose to meet them and she inhaled deeply.

    “You remember the party we had for you back in high school?” He smiled. 

    “I’ll never forget it.” 

    “You were so happy that night.” Fingers fidgeted with the small chain that was still worn around his neck. 

    “Yeah…I was.”

    “I wanna do somethin that’ll make you that happy again.” He chuckled. 

    “I’m already happy. What more could I ask for?” She sighed. 

    “I don’t know.”

    “Time with you will be more than enough.” 

 

***

    Firecrackers popped in the background and a necklace initialed with young love pressed against his skin.

    “Happy birthday.” Lips, soft and supple, traced a path down the bridge of his nose. Laughter sounded in the distance and it filled his heart with such warm joy. He couldn’t see anything but brown skin and a halo of hair which hid them so perfectly from the rest of the world.

    “Are you happy?”

    “Words can’t explain the way I feel.” The crunch of cracker, marshmallow and melted chocolate would forever mean summer. Just as the waves rushed forward to lap the sand, the eagerness in his fingertips was quelled inside jean pockets. And soon, the taste and force of her hit him as lips met.  That day had been the best day of his life. A day he would always remember. 

***

    This day he too would always remember. Sitting across from Rae’s adoptive’s parents on the eve of his birthday.  She had just let them know of their engagement. But, the reverberating silence that came could have stopped time.

    “What did you say?” 

    “I said we’re engaged.” 

    “I won’t support this. I can’t support this.” The voice of Shaundra was ridden with angry tears.

    “No one asked you to.” Rae replied, looking her dead in the eye. 

    “Hasn’t this man tortured you enough?” 

    “You tortured me more than he ever did.” Rae spoke strongly, her fingers intertwined with his. 

    “Did he get you pregnant? Is this why you’re doing this?”

    “Don’t you dare insult me or him!” 

    “It wouldn’t be first time you got pregnant. You two always struck me as being eager little rabbits.” He felt anger spark inside him. 

    “I can imagine that the news of us getting married is less than desirable. But, to imply that Rae and I have no more self control than rabbits wanting to mate is incredibly degrading.” He interjected, voice calm and clear. 

    “I knew she was a fast little heifer. She couldn’t help it.” The grip on his fingers by now was numbing but he just looked at her, the woman Rae had once called mother. 

    “The hatred you possess astounds me. Even now, you have a chance to repair a relationship between you and your daughter but instead you are hurling insults. I do not care much about your words but one thing is obvious: you’ve assumed quite a lot about us.” That quieted her. 

    “It cannot be helped that you came to your own conclusions about Rae and I. Ten years can make anyone assume a lot. Please excuse my language but you don’t know a gotdamn thing about me or about us.” Both of her parents grew still. 

    “What existed between her thighs was never my interest. Rather, my curiosity laid with what dwelled in her mind. For you to insinuate that we were uncontrollable lust driven children shows that you have quite the imagination. And now, having heard you talk for so long I think I understand just why you’ve always had a problem with me.”

    “Do tell me what that is.” Shaundra snarled, her lips pinched.

    “Your problem is that I am a Japanese man, quite unlike your ideal mate for your daughter.” That took the breath clear out of Shaundra’s lungs and she turned stiffly to look at her husband who had grown red in the face. 

    “The very thought of a non-black male touching your daughter disgusted you and you tried everything to ensure that it didn’t happen after she came back to New York.” 

    “That’s…not true.” 

    “Don’t lie. You know he tellin the truth.” Rae shot back hotly. The color was starting to drain from Shaundra’s face. 

    “It is apparent that you two know nothing about love. You might have married Kendrick for his money or for his career. But, Rae and I are different.” He felt her fingers squeeze his again.

    “All in all, it doesn’t matter. Regardless, Hiroto and I are going to get married and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it.”  Before either one of them could respond, they heard another male voice speak.

    “Y’all finally tyin the knot huh?” They all looked up to find Tre standing in the entryway to the kitchen. Rae smiled at him.

    “Yep.” Tre was quiet for a long while before,

    “Let me holla at you for a minute Hiroto.” 

    “Sure thing.” Getting up, he pressed her hand into her lap and gently teased a loose coil that slipped from her ponytail.

    “I’ll be back okay?”

    “Kay…” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips. He heard the sharp inhale of breath from her mother but the sigh against his mouth sounded much sweeter. He tightened his grip on her hand before he pulled away from her. Sliding his hands into his pockets, he went out onto the back patio with her brother.

 

 

***

     It was a long while before either one of them spoke. The orange glow from a cigarette lit the night on fire. 

    “I overheard y’alls conversation.” 

    “I knew you would.” 

    “Mad respect for how you handled that.” 

    “Thanks.”

    “When did you propose?” Tre asked, voice gruff. 

    “Her birthday. I gave her an engagement ring a few days ago.” He could feel Tre’s eyes on him. 

    “Let me ask you this…Man to man. Why not give up??” He smiled, only briefly but Tre caught it. 

    “Rae’s the kind of woman that only comes once in a blue moon. I’d have been a fool to let her go.”

    “I see.”

    “When you’re in love…you chase her to the ends of the earth. You do anything to make her yours.”

    “What made you fall in love with her?”

    “Her eyes. They mesmerized me.”

    “That’s all?” 

    “The richness of her skin.” Tre exhaled the smoke from his lungs. 

    “Most niggas say it was the ass or somethin.” 

    “And that is their fault right there. A woman is more than just ass.”

    “Real talk.” It grew quiet again. 

    “Mind if I get a smoke?” 

    “Nah.” Tre handed him a cigarette and lit him up. Inhaling deeply, he watched as the smoke vanished in the night air. 

    “My parents are under the assumption that you two fucked. Did you?” 

    “No. She wasn’t that type of girl.” 

    “How you’d deal with that?”

    “I had my ways of releasing that tension.”

    “Other chicks?” 

    “Possibly.” Tre chuckled. 

    “I know how the game go Hiroto.” 

    “I always found myself stepping on egg shells around her.” 

    “Why?” 

    “I respected her way before I wanted her. When desire hit, I didn’t know how to handle it.  She was more than just five minutes, you get me?” 

    “I got you man. You didn’t want to fuck up what y’all had going.”

    “She was beautiful as hell Tre. Mind, body and spirit.”

    “Mm.” 

    “Let me be clear though…your sister isn’t someone you fuck. With a woman like that, you make love.” Tre watched him intensely as he brought the cigarette to his lips.     

    “I’ma be real with you Hiroto. The way my sister was when she came back from Japan made me want to find you.”

    “I’m sure.” 

    “All she did was cry and lock herself in her room. All she wanted was you.” He swallowed and took another drag. 

    “The girl wouldn’t eat. She wouldn’t do anything. When I would ask her what was wrong… all she would do was say that you hurt her. I swore should I see you I would fuck you up for what you did.” He exhaled slowly. 

    “I definitely deserved it.” 

    “Hm.” Silence seemed to be consistent and it wore far longer this time. 

    “Look, I don’t care to know about your past. We both have done shit we ain’t proud of. But, I’m glad you respected my sister enough to keep your dick in your pants. Around her anyway.” 

    “Mm.” 

    “I can’t lie I see the way you look at her. I noticed that shit back at the family barbecue.  You were the first guy I noticed that looked at her like that. I could tell you wasn’t just with her for the pussy.” 

    “She’s much to me than that.” 

    “Yeah I can tell. Rae’s never been this happy…There is somethin about you that stands out above all the rest. She loves you Hiroto.” 

    “I love her too.” Tre sighed. 

    “Somethin tells me you don’t say that often.”

    “Not unless it’s real.” He nodded. 

    “Rae’s the same way. When she loves, she loves hard. It’s hard gettin her to stop.” He smiled to himself.  

    “Well…as far as I’m concerned, you good with me now.”

    “Yeah?” 

    “If my sister been takin up for you for damn near fifteen years then somethin gotta give man. I remember the way you were when them bastards took her while back…. You were a man on a mission and nothing could stop you from getting to her.”

    “If I had gotten my way they would have disappeared. But, for Rae’s sake and only for her sake are they still living.” Tre observed him as he took the second to the last drag of his cigarette.

    “I feel that breh.” He leaned his head back against the house. 

    “Rae told me you also saved her from some punk ass bitch in high school.” He blinked and turned towards him, smoke escaping from the side of his mouth. 

    “She told you about Uota?” 

    “Yeah. Tole me all about how that muhfucka tried to rape her in the storage closet.” He flicking the cigarette butt, his jaw tight. 

    “To this day it still pisses me off.”  

    “I am glad you got to her when you did. You got there in the nick of time.” 

    “He stayed far away from her after that. In fact, I never saw him again. His parents must have taken him out of the school.”

    “That was what was good for him.” 

    “Yeah.”

    “Well, guess we good then. I ain’t gotta worry bout nothin happenin to Rae. You solid Hiroto. You’ll take damn good care of her.” 

    “You know I will.”

    “I just want my sister to be happy so whatever y’all doin, I’m behind y’all.” He turned and bowed in front of him, low and deep. 

    “Thank you Tre.” 

    “Come on man you ain’t do that. It’s all good.” 

    “It’s my way of showing respect. It wouldn’t be proper unless I did so.” He said with a smirk as he lifted up. 

    “My man…all right then.” Tre clasped hands with him and pat him on the back. 

    “Let’s gon back in here and get some food. Ion know about you but I’m starved.” He chuckled. 

    “I hear you man.” Tre clapped him on the back again before they turned and re-entered the house. 

***

    “Everything good?” She asked, a worried look on her face. 

    “Yeah. We good.” Tre said, voice light hearted. She blinked and turned her gaze on Hiroto. He looked just as relaxed. 

    “Roto?” He smiled and gently pulled her against him. 

    “Everything is okay sweetheart.” She sighed and laid her hands against his chest. 

    “Okay.” 

    “What you think I was gon do beat his ass?” She sucked her teeth and glared at Tre. 

    “Boy I ain’t know what you was gon do.” 

    “Tremaine you support this?”

    “Ma, let the shit go for real. You bout to lose more than just a daughter. Stay cool.” A head peeked around the corner. 

    “RAE! IS THAT A RING?” 

    “YES IT IS.” Amee darted suddenly from around the corner and hugged her. 

     “Let me see it!” She giggled girlishly and outstretched her hand.

    “It’s absolutely gorgeous! Oh my God…” She felt her entire face flush with heat and glanced up at Roto who winked at her. 

    “I think it’s time you leave.” The squealing stopped.

    “You puttin her out Ma? Really?” 

    “It’s cool. Me and Roto was leavin anyway.” 

    “Ma, don’t act this way. You can’t even be happy for your own daughter?” 

    “That there is no daughter of mine. As far as I know, she is as good as a stranger to me. And she’s no longer welcome here.” 

    “You can’t be serious.” Amee and Tre watched in disbelief as they went to get their coats.

    “Ready babe?” He slipped his fingers through hers. 

    “Ready.” 

    “I see y’all.”

    “O-Okay then Rae…I call you.”

    “Bye Tre.”

    “Bye Nug. Catch you later Hiroto.”

    “Alright man.” 

    “Aiight.”  The door closed behind them.

    “That was fun.”

    “Actually, I think it went rather well.”

    “Oh yeah, being kicked out of your parents house and practically disowned… that went great.” 

    “I’m not surprised. They have no class or character.” She slowed his gait.

    “How do you really feel about it?” He sighed. 

    “I feel relieved.” 

    “Relieved?”

    “Happy I finally got to talk with your brother.”

    “Me too.” 

    “He’s a good guy.”

    “Yeah Tre rough round them edges but he mean well.” 

    “He’s very protective of you. A man better not get caught looking at you wrong that’s for sure.” She smiled. 

    “Yeah my brother always had my back. Before I came to Japan, no one ever messed with me. He went everywhere with me, him and a few more brothers of mine.” 

    “Good.” 

    “Y’all talked about our engagement?” He nodded. 

    “Mmhm. He didn’t waste any time asking questions.” 

    “Oh yeah I know.” 

    “By the look on your face you were worried.” He commented, grinning down at her. 

    “Look, the last time he saw you he wanted to fight you. I had to make sure he wasn’t gon pop off.” 

    “I can handle Tre. I don’t scare easy babe.” She pursed her lips. 

    “Still.” As they finally made it to the car, she gripped his shirt at the waist. 

    “I’m glad things went well with you and Tre.”

    “I am too. I’ve come to understand him a bit more.” She reached up and traced his jaw with a fingertip.  

    “So the question I’m going to ask you next might seem silly…”

    “Ask anyway.” 

    “Considering the night we had tonight…do you wanna stay over?” His hands finally acquiesced having denied themselves, slowly dancing along her back. 

    “Would that be a good idea considering the topic of discussion tonight?” She pouted. 

    “What do you think?” He leaned down. 

    “Frankly, I don’t care but based on where my hands are headed I’d say no.” She bit her lip in a smile. Alas, his hands had grown bold and slowly but surely inched their way further and further down her body. 

    “I think I recall giving those hands permission to go that way though.” 

    “Ah, yes you did. But…” Finally, they had reached their destination and he lifted her up, fingers tight against her cheeks. 

    “Other places want permission too.” She wrapped her legs and arms around him and he came to gently sit her on the hood of his car. 

    “Is that so? Well, should I allow it or not?” 

    “That is indeed the question.” She slid his hair back from his forehead. 

    “It’d be a pity not to.” He smirked cheekily, his eyes meeting hers. 

    “I don’t want to be greedy and take more than I should.” His voice grew to a low whisper against her lips, 

    “Wouldn’t be fair or nice.” He continued as her eyes fluttered closed. 

    “Roto…” He pressed a kiss to her neck. 

    “Besides, it’s not my birthday quite yet.” Her eyes opened and she felt the heat from within his gaze melt her insides. 

    “You just said you wanted a haircut. Nothin else.” 

    “I’m subject to changing my mind.” 

    “Nope, can’t do that.” 

    “Why can’t I?”

    “Cause.” She teased, a smirk on her face. 

    “You’re being mean.” 

    “And you’re not behavin.” 

    “I was till you mentioned staying over.” 

    “Well…” He chuckled and snuggled against her. His arms enclosed around her, the warmth from his body pulsing into her. She sighed deeply and slid her hands down to the small of his back.  

    “Maybe another time then…” His voice soft and whispery sent chills down her spine. 

    “Right now I should get you home.” 

    “Mmkay.” He lifted her into his arms and she wrapped her limbs around him, not quite ready to be put down. 

    “I love you.” 

    “I love you too.” She slid down until her feet touched the ground and he took his hands off of her. Getting in the car, she put on her seat belt as he got in and started the ignition. As they got on the freeway, she let down her window to welcome the cooler night air.  Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply. Jesus, we’ve done good thus far. Please let us make it to the altar.

 ***

    Strands of hair fell onto the floor. The atmosphere smelled faintly of roses and lavender and it calmed him. Glancing up, he smiled. Rae was focused as she snipped, gently twisting the scissors as she cut. Sighing, he closed his eyes and wrapped his hands around her hips. He had turned around to face her and pressed his cheek against her side. Today, he was 30 years old and truthfully, it felt right. He didn’t feel out of place as he went into work in the morning and he had received so many well wishes. He realized how blessed he was to make it to 30 and silently thanked God for letting him live another year. Fingers brushed the hair on his neck.

    “Almost done.”

    “Mm.” After work, Rae had called him and invited him over for dinner. After getting comfortable, he had come straight away only to find her standing in the door way with a pair of scissors. A few more moments passed and she lifted his chin. 

    “I ain’t a professional but I think it turned out good. Go see how you like it. ” He grinned and hastily got up to rush into the bathroom. Running fingers through the short bangs which framed his face he felt his heart swell. 

    “It looks great. Thanks babe.”  

    “Yeah yeah. I tried.”

    “You did good.” He leaned down to kiss her. 

    “Thank you.” 

    “You’re welcome.” She whispered against his mouth.

    “I’m gon get this hair cleaned up and then I got somethin else planned for you.” 

    “Let me get that. You sit tight.” He gathered the collection of hair on the floor into a pile and swept it up. Once finished, he turned to find her leaning against the archway.  

    “So I know you ain’t want a cake but I bought you one anyway.” She said as she came into the kitchen. 

    “Ah..Rae…”

    “And one last thing…” She reached over and grabbed a small remote. She pressed a button and suddenly familair faces appeared on the screen in front of him. 

    “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” He grew still, shock vibrating through his body. Hana. Hisae. Tobu and Minako. All of them grinned and waved. He turned to look at Rae, mouth slightly ajar. 

    “Happy birthday baby.” 

    “UNCLE HIROOOO RAE DID THIS FOR YOU SO DON’T BE MAD!” Hisae yelled, laughter in her voice. His eyes started to well up with tears and he tightened his jaw. 

    “I’m not mad. H-how are you Saehime?” 

    “Good. I miss you.”

    “I miss you too sweetheart. I miss you all very much.” 

    “Hiro, look up.” His chin trembled but he brought his gaze upwards. 

    “You’re getting old now!” Hana teased, sticking out her tongue at him. He laughed, the sound deep and hearty. 

    “Hey! That’s not nice!” 

    “Welcome to the club Hiroto-kun.” Minako said gently, smiles making her eyes crinkle in the corners. 

    “Thank you…Mina-sama.” 

    “I wanna see you cut the cake!” Tobu chimed in, a big grin the size of Mars on his face. 

    “Me too!” 

    “Come on, sit down.” Rae said tenderly, reaching for his hand. He let her pull him to the chair. Sitting down, he sniffed. 3-0 were set on fire and the voices of those he cherished most began to sing, some in English and others in Japanese. 

    “Blow out your candles…” Hands gently came around his neck and she leaned down with a smile on her face. He took a big breath and blew the fire out. 

    “Yay!” He swallowed tightly and turned his head as his lips met hers. The warm reception from everyone made him high but the lips of the woman above him electrified him. 

    “Rae…”

    “Shh…” She hushed him before smiling against his mouth. 

    “You deserved somethin special so here it is.” Pulling back, she sat down beside him. To his delight, Minako cut into a small cake and soon everyone had a piece. 

    “Ready? On three! San! Ni! Ichi!” Forks delved into the sweet treat. He sighed contently, eyes filled with delight as icing found its way onto Hisae’s nose. 

    “Saehime, you were waiting for this part weren’t you?” 

    “Yes! I wished you would hurry up!” He laughed to himself and glanced at Rae. She mirrored the joy he felt, eyes full of merriment. 

    “How is it?”

    “Yummy.”

    “I’m glad. Are you enjoying yourself?”

    “Very much so.” 

    “Good.” He ate to his heart’s content, drunk with the love of his woman and family. It had seemed as though his birthday had only gotten more sweeter with each passing moment. 

    “Rae-san…” Eyes turned up at the screen. 

    “I haven’t seen you since I was little girl.” Rae smiled. 

    “I know! You’ve grown up so much!”

    “Mama told me you and Uncle Hiro get married.” She blushed and nodded. 

    “Yep it’s true!” 

    “Good! I miss you a lot! I want you to come back here and live with us!” 

    “I’ll be there sooner than you know it sweetie!” 

    “Okay!”

    “We’d better let you two get some sleep! I know it’s late there.” Hana spoke up with a smile. 

    “You don’t have to go.” He replied, putting his fork down.

    “No really. You two have been up working. Rae worked really hard to put this together. She needs rest too.” 

    “Ah…” 

    “We’ll see each other Hiro-chan. Really soon ne?” 

    “Hai.” 

    “Go ahead and get some rest Hiro-kun. I’ll call you soon ne?”

    “Hai.” 

    “Good night you two.”

    “Good night Mina-sama.” 

    “Night Mina.” The screen went black and for a moment, they sat in silence. Then she got up and began clearing the table. Wrapping up the cake, she put it into the fridge. As she was scrubbing the plates in the sink, he came behind her and slid his arms around her. 

    “I don’t know how to put what I feel into words.” He spoke quietly against her shoulder.

    “That’s okay. You don’t have to.”

    “Then I won’t try…I’ll let this be enough.” Before she could reply, he leaned down and kissed her. She grew still as he hugged her closer to him. The plate hit the bottom of the sink with a clink and she lifted her hand out of the water. Cradling it against his cheek, she sighed deeply against his mouth. Her wet fingers drifted into his hair, the bubbly soap sliding down her wrist. 

    “Roto…” He brushed her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb in silence, inhaling her breath. 

    “Tonight I’m staying.” He spoke lowly, lifting his gaze onto hers. Red shimmered in her cheeks. 

    “O-okay…” 

    “You’ve done enough…let me do this.” She smiled softly and bit her lip.

    “Okay…” She kissed him once more before stepping out of the way. He finished the dishes and cleaned the kitchen table. Disconnecting the screen output from her phone, he put it into his sweatpants pocket and turned off the living room lights. 

    After making sure the doors were secure, he came into her bedroom to find her curled up underneath her covers. Smiling to himself, he laid next to her, slowly pulling the covers up around him. Tangling fingers and limbs, he inhaled against her neck. 

    “How do it feel bein 30?” She asked tiredly, turning to look at him. He pressed kisses to her cheek and jaw. 

    “Feels good.” 

    “Mm.” 

    “It was a great day thanks to you.” She smiled and closed her eyes. 

    “Now we can sleep.” He gently pecked her eyelids.

    “Sleep tight my darling.” 

 

***

    Just as the buds on the trees, life required a season of patience. If the flowers bloomed too quickly they would die. If they bloomed too late, they suffered. But, if they waited their turn…. they experienced beautiful inflorescence. Every function of the plant worked in complete harmony and the beauty therefore was worth it. 

***

 

    “Tobu…I have something to tell you.” 

    “What’s up?” 

    “I proposed to Rae.” For a moment, he was quiet but when he spoke, tears were in his voice.

    “You finally did it.”

    “Yeah.”

    “When’d you do it?”

    “Her birthday.” 

    “Man, this is crazy. You finally stepped up to the plate and got your girl.” He blushed. 

    “I’m so proud of you Hiro-kun.”

    “Thanks.”

    “Mr. And Mrs. Iwase. That sounds good don’t it?” His blush deepened. 

    “Mm.”

    “Now, only happiness awaits you two and I’m blessed I get to witness it.”


End Notes:

A/N: Hey Everyone! I missed y'alll! I've been so busy with life that I hadn't gotten a chance to sit down and write! I recently moved from Ohio to Arizona (BIG MOVEEEE) with some family and I've been trying to adjust to that on top of finding a job so things have been busy. This was a very active chapter! I kid y'all not I did not intend on this being almost 40 pages (in document form) lol. I honestly thought about splitting it up but somehow, (in my opinion) it all goes well together. I've introduced a small character by the name of Kyouta. Honestly, I am considering having Roto mentor young boys who have been through the same thing he went through but for now, he will be the first positive male figure in Kyou's life! :) I think that is awesome! Did y'all catch the questioning about locations?? *grin ehehe* I noticed that another thing I think is intimate is hair so I wanted to incorporate touch and hair between these two! Roto did Rae's and now Rae don did Roto's and I think the simple touch of your love's fingers in your hair is darn near spiritual. lol. Can't let everybody touch it!

 

 I must say my favorite parts of this chapter are the conversation he had with Tre, Rae's conversation with Hana-chan and the party Rae threw for Roto at the end. I think the part about Rae trying to "fit" in with Roto's "world" bit was so significant! No matter what, they ARE an anomaly as Roto put it. Not just because of their physical and economic differences but because of their love. Their love is something that most cannot understand but are intrigued by. Despite the playful and sometimes not so playful banter between them, their love is so very reminiscent of God's love for us all and I think THAT is what is so beautiful. Truly reflective of the Father! <3

 

The next chapter is a transitional piece and then guys... the moment we all have been waiting for... Marshall shall change to Iwase and from there a new journey shall begin! *SCREAMS* I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOREVER LOL. I'm excited that I've finally reached this point but at the same time... kinda sad cause it's like... it's kinda getting closer and closer to the end. I don't wanna think about it and won't talk about it again lol. *sentimental author over here lol* Please as always leave your thoughts, comments, concerns and criticisms and I will see you soon! I love you all! I hope that you had a blessed Christmas and may God bless you all in the new year! 

Sunray into the sky, bright and yellow

Be changed by the renewing of your mind!

God bless as always,

D&L <3 

P.S: IF THERE ARE ANY ERRORS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! <3 I CAN'T STAND GOING BACK THROUGH AND FINDING THEM AFTER I UPLOADED LOL. THANK YOU.

Pictures: 

Rae's outfit: 

Rae's Hairstyle:

 

Kyou: 

And last but not least: 

HER RING Y'ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL HEEEEEEEE HOOOOO: 

BAM! 

 

Entr'acte by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

 

 

 

Soundtrack:

Sweeterman- Zach Farac

Ovcoco-Me and You (Feat. Bevy Maco and jeebanoff)

GIIANA-Paradise (feat. Summer Soul)

 

“Welcome to Tokyo Haneda Airport! We hope your flight has been relaxing! Please find your baggage at the baggage claim and please fly with us again!” The busy shuffling of feet sounded, suitcases and zippers hustled by. She stopped walking and for a moment just looked around at all the busy people going to and fro. Small children trailing after their mothers and fathers right behind them.

    “Rae?”

    “Yeah…”

    “How are you feeling?” 

    “I feel fine…I just…can’t believe…I’m here again. Everything is so tangible like I could reach out and touch it.” 

    “You can.”

    “I can?” She looked to find him smiling, cheeks rosy. His hand came up to her hair and he brought her closer to him, his arm gently cradling her head against him. 

    “Rae..” She didn’t reply as she reached up to grab a small portion of his shirt. 

    “Welcome home.” She bit her lip, his warmth exploding around her. 

    “It’s…it’s good to be home…” He smiled as he let her go. Without another word, they got lost in the crowd, suitcases trailing behind them. 

***

    Father,

    I am coming home. I am not quite finished with the mission given to me but I think my progress so far will suffice. As I write this letter, Rae and I are in the process of moving. Everything has been completed with the American sectors and I have promoted Ishimoto Shouichi head over the New York and California offices. I trust that he will take good care of the vision I’ve tried to instill in the business this far. As for myself, it is time I return to the shores of my motherland. With me, I bring the woman acceptable to carry forth our name. I have kept my promise. 

Tears filled old eyes.

    When we arrive, we can finally begin our lives anew. Once we get settled, Rae and I will visit you. It may be unlike me to express this but…I have thought about you frequently as of late. I’ve been yearning for our talks over tea, sakura petals pressing the shoji. More than that, I hope that you have been well. We will see you soon father. Until then, take care and be well. 

    Your son 

    Hiroto 

***

    

    “Hiroto?” He turned around. There in the doorway she stood, her skin mahogany and hair like black silk down her back. She was breathtaking as she held a small clutch against her stomach. She wore a beautiful dress that accentuated her curves just right, the full bodied skirt adorned with an almost dizzying pattern. Up further, black sheer mesh covered her shoulders and traveled down her arms. A tasteful amount of cleavage was seen, just enough to tease.

    “You look divine.” She blushed as his eyes took her in. He slowly stood, fingers having been pressed against light paper, ink having faded. 

    “Did you still want to go? It’s not too late to skip the party.” 

    “That does sound very appealing.” He spoke softly, a grin coming to his face.     

    “Welp we got half an hour to declare the final verdict.” He chuckled as he made his way over to her.  

    “This time I think we should go.” She pouted with a sigh. 

    “I knew you was gon say that.” 

    “It’s important.” 

    “Yeah… I know. It’s our first Shoutoii engagement since we came back home.” 

    “That’s not all.” She looked up at him as he smiled. 

    “It’s the first time you will be introduced not be just as my COO but as my fiancee.” At the statement, her skin flushed and she looked down. 

    “Yeah that’s… that’s huge.” 

    “So?” He asked as he lifted her chin with his fingertips, a teasing smile on his lips. She stood straighter. 

    “We should go.” 

    “I think so too.” He let go of her and reached up to straighten his tie. 

    “You look fine Roto…every part the CEO of Shoutoii.” 

    “I wonder how I appear as your fiancé?” He asked, fingers gripping his bow tie. She smiled and gently took his hand into hers. 

    “You look so very handsome and very nervous. Relax babe.” He exhaled shakily and lifted her hand against his mouth. 

    “This is the first time we’ll be in view of the world… as we really are.”

    “It’s about time doncha think?” 

    “Mm.” He squeezed her fingers before standing back.

    “Shall we go then my lady?”

    “We shall.” 


***

    As they entered the grand ballroom, applause greeted them. He grew still and her mouth dropped open slightly in shock. All around, employees from the central Tokyo branch, acquaintances and business associates clapped and cheered. She let her fingers slide away from him as he bowed in front of them, his back straight and fingers pressed firmly against his sides. She smiled as he slowly rose, happiness radiating around him. 

    “Welcome home Iwase-kun.” A man said as he came to bow before him. 

    “It’s good to be home.” 

    “You’ve brought a lovely lady with you I see. Ms. Marshall, how are you?” At the mention of her name, she bowed slightly. 

    “I am well. How are you?” Though she didn’t recognize the man, she could tell that Hiroto knew him well. 

    “Good thank you. Everyone was so concerned about Iwase-kun after seeing what his mother did to him. Thank you for taking such good care of him.” She bowed her head. 

    “Oh no, it’s no problem.” 

    “You’ve accompanied him as a friend or professional tonight?” She glanced at him.

    “Both…”

    “Ah,”

    “I think it is appropriate to say that she is much more than that Takeuchi-kun.” The man lifted his eyebrow. 

    “She is my fiancee.” At the announcement, several of the other guests paused and eyed them.

    “Fiancee?” She smiled prettily as he gently reached for her hand. 

    “I’ve asked her to honor me by being my wife.” 

    “That’s beautiful…She always struck me as someone who would keep you grounded.” A woman spoke up, friendly smile on her face. 

    “I should’ve known. The way you two would look at each other…” He laughed. 

    “It was that obvious hm?”

    “Dreadfully so.” Takeuchi smiled and gently bowed in front of her. 

    “It is a pleasure to finally meet you Ms. Marshall. It warms my heart to see Iwase-kun so happy. Thank you for being with him.” She blushed, not quite sure how to respond. 

    “No…uh…T-thank you for your support.” 

    “Why don’t we welcome you home the proper way?” She watched as Hiroto grinned boyishly. 

    “I was waiting for the formalities to end.” 

***

    Bottles of champagne traveled throughout the air and glasses were filled to the brim. 

    “How has your transition back to Japan been Iwase-kun?” 

    “Things have been so busy since we moved back here. Business does not cease because of a move. Rae and I have been working non stop. This is our first leisurely outing in a long while.” Kind eyes looked at her. 

    “I trust you are starting to get settled into your place Ms. Marshall?” She nodded with a smile. 

    “Yeah. I’m surrounded by all of these beautiful sakura trees. It’s breathtaking.” 

    “That’s good. I’m glad.” She took a sip of her champagne. 

    “If you don’t mind me asking… how did you and Iwase become acquainted? I know of the dealings with Affinity but something tells me you’ve known each other longer than that.” She looked at him who smirked.

    “I’ve never liked many questions…” Ishida blinked and flushed. 

    “My apologies if I offended you…” She grinned. 

    “It’s okay. Hiroto and I met in high school actually…” The shock that reverberated throughout their faces made Roto chuckle.     

    “You’ve known her all this time?” 

    “Guilty as charged.” 

    “It’s a long story that I won’t get into but…Hiroto and I drifted apart for some time. Life brought us back together and well…here we are.” 

    “That’s awesome! That explains the chemistry between you.” 

    “Mmhm.” 

    “She’s a good woman Iwase-kun…you’re lucky to have her.” He raised his glass at her.

    “That I am.” 

***

    The warm air pulled them along and she clutched the lapels of the jacket he’d placed around her shoulders. He had his hands in his pockets, hair rustled out of the sleek style of earlier. She glanced up at him. He had left the businessman in the building for the night. With his bow tie draped loosely around his neck and a button of two unfastened he reeked of relief. 

    “I think that went well.” She spoke up quietly as they walked down the street, the small lights adorning their path on each side. 

    “Mm. I’m pleased it succeeded.” 

    “I wonder if them folks was prepared for our announcement.” He grinned. 

    “Maybe…maybe not. It doesn’t matter though.” 

    “Right. It don’t.” There was silence before, 

    “It feels good not to have to hide anymore. When the world finds out that you and I are together…I will breathe a bigger sigh of relief.” She nodded. 

    “I agree.” His fingers slid down to grasp hers and she smiled to herself as they continued to walk in silence until they came to his car. 

    “I can’t wait to get in the bed man…these heels comin off as soon as I get in this car .” She mumbled, reaching for the door. To her surprise, fingers gripped hers and she froze, turning her gaze upwards. 

    “Roto?” He didn’t answer but instead pressed his lips against hers. She stiffened only for a brief moment before she leaned into him. His cologne was starting to make her dizzy and she wanted to fold into his warmth. Soon, he pulled away from her and opened the door, allowing her to slide inside. A smile on her face, she glanced outside at the darkly lit petals scattered on the ground. His kiss here… in this place… truly meant home. As he drove her home, she slid her pinky around his and held onto it tightly. 


***

    The familiar hum of the cicadas chirped outside the thin shoji, a sound that brought a smile to his face. Old weathered hands lifted a tea cup, crafted beautifully in jade and gold leaf. 

    “Do you remember who made it?” 

    “Of course I do. Small immature hands molded it into something beautiful.” 

    “This one is special; something that cannot be replicated.” Warm eyes lifted to meet his. 

    “Your Obaa-chan helped you…That’s why this is the one she must receive.”  He smiled and leaned back, hands pressed against the tatami. 

    “No doubt she will love and cherish it Hiroto.” His father set the cup back into its lacquer box. 

    “Mm.” He sighed. 

    “How have you been father?” 

    “I’ve been alright. Better now that you are home again. Even better that you’ve brought Rae back with you.” 

    “It took a long time to return but it is so good to be back.” His father smiled to himself with a sigh. 

    “I am glad that the truth always comes forward. I believe now the spirits of both your grandmother and Eri are at rest.” He looked at the ocha stirring around in his chawon.

    “Father tell me…what happened to the woman who birthed me?” Shou’s face grew serious, eyes intensely dark. 

    “I divorced her.” An eyebrow shot up. 

    “Is that so?” His father tightened his jaw. 

    “That woman was nothing but a manipulative liar and murderer. She deceived me in the highest sense and took away the only woman I ever let into my heart.” He was silent as he listened. 

    “You know how we are as Iwase men Hiroto. You know that our hearts are guarded from the day we are born until the way we die. As it has to be.” 

    “Mm.”

    “Eri was such a pure hearted girl. She had an inner light that spoke to and scared away the darkness I had inside.” He looked at his father who had turned his gaze towards the open shoji, settling on a single bird that had perched itself on a tree branch. 

    “I truly loved her Hiroto. For her, I would have given up even my name.” 

    “Surely the purity within her quickly changed. When did you start to have doubts?” 

    “One thing about your mother is that she is a master of replication. She can copy a behavior or tendency exactly as it is performed from one exposure to it. Though I thought her ruthlessness a bit disconcerting, I found it at the time almost fitting. To be an Iwase woman in those days, you had to be cold and calculating, showing only loyalty and submission, grace and poise. All of these things she exhibited. Alone however, she acted just like the young girl I fell in love with… with who I thought she was.” 

    “I see.” 

    “I did what I thought was right at the time. Now I see that everything wasn’t.” 

    “We’ve all made mistakes.” His eyes landed on his face. 

    “I’ve been lucky to receive a chance to make them right.” He smiled and took a sip of his tea. 

    “Indeed.” 

    “Hiroto.” 

    “Hm?” 

    “Thank you.”  He shook his head a slight smile on his face. It grew quiet for a little while and then his father spoke again. 

    “I have to say, Shoutoii is a much better company in your hands.” He snort. 

    “Is that supposed to be a compliment?” His father laughed. 

    “Take it as one son.” 

    “Ah,”

    “You’re reconstructed the entire foundation and it’s truly admirable what you’ve done with the business. In a way… you’ve put purity back into it.” 

    “…Mm.” 

    “The Junsui initiative…”

    “Rae’s initiative.”

    “Yes. I think that is quite respectable. Shoutoii is more than just a domestic business now. You’ve taken it far beyond anything I ever could have imagined or desired.” 

    “Thank you for passing me the torch.” His father chuckled to himself and pat his knee. 

    “I wouldn’t have passed it to anyone else.”  Things grew quiet around them and it was comfortable. 

    “Father,” Shou looked at him, a small smile on his face. 

    “Did you ever think that we’d be here 10 years ago?” There was a thoughtful pause, the shoji gently rattled in the breeze. 

    “No. I didn’t. I was a different man then. And you were a product of my mistreatment. You were so hurt and abused.” 

    “I never imagined we’d be here either. But…I am glad we are.”

    “Here we are…no longer just Hiroto and Shou. Now we are Father and Son.” 

    “Yes…finally hm?” The two men shared a laugh. 

    “I’d better get going Father. I have something planned with Rae tonight.” An eyebrow lifted. 

    “All these plans and yet I’ve heard nothing about a wedding date.” He chuckled. 

    “My, aren’t we impatient?” His father snorted.     

    “I’ve wanted you to marry that girl for fifteen years. Now that it’s being dangled in front of me, I’m growing greedy. Besides, I want grandchildren Hiroto.” He choked and coughed, bringing laughter to the man who sat across from him. 

    “I’m getting older now. Surely you in your youth possess such vitality and stamina. As is the Iwase way.” He couldn’t help the furious blush that adorned his cheeks. 

    “Father please…” A cheeky chuckle escaped. 

    “Now now, don’t be embarrassed Hiroto. You’re not a child anymore.”     

    “I’ve got to go now.” The sound of his father’s laughter followed him as he bowed and swiftly made his exit.


***


    Her phone chimed softly and she nearly tripped over her shoes trying to get to it. 

    I’m on my way sweetheart. Stopping by my place to change.  She smiled to herself as she put the phone back down on her bed. Tonight was going to be very special and she hoped that they made it a routine thing. At his suggestion, they were going to do something new. The cool kids called it Netflix and Chill…They called it Bible and Chill. They were going to eat lots of yummy food and have bible study. She could hardly keep the excitement to herself and sighed contently into her pillow. Best be gettin our food together then.

    Getting up, she went into the kitchen and started setting out some take out she’d ordered. It was that kinda night. She got two small sake cups from her cupboard. It’d been a long day for the both of them. She knew more than anything, Roto needed to kick his feet up and relax.  Humming to herself, she’d just finished up when she heard the door buzz. Going to the small pad, she saw Roto standing outside. She smiled and opened the door. Upon the sight of her, he smiled in return, a small blush coming to his cheeks. 

    “Come in.” He bowed his head slightly. 

    “Thank you.” She leaned against the wall as he slipped off his shoes. 

    “How’s your night been so far?” He rustled his hair. 

    “It’s been interesting to say the least.”

    “Oh?”

    “Mm. I visited my father.”

    “And? How is he?”

    “He’s fine. He uh…” A curious blush spread into his cheeks and he cleared his throat. 

    “He is enthusiastically awaiting our marriage.” She snickered as she led him into the kitchen, pouring chilled sakura sake.  and glanced at him. 

    “He started that again?” 

    “The man won’t stop until you’re down the aisle.” 

    “Shou is cute.”

    “Cute you say?” She pursed her lips. 

    “He been the only one outchea ridin for us. Been doin that since the beginnin. I think it’s only fair he ask when he gon be blessed with our union.” He laughed to himself and came to slide his arms around her waist. 

    “You’re right I suppose.”

    “Hm.” He pressed his lips against her shoulder. 

    “Your Japanese is getting better.” He noted, watching as she put everything on a small tray. 

    “Thank you. I feared I’d lost all traces of it. But being back is bringin it out some. I still need a refresher course.” 

    “Mm. I can help if you’d like.”

    “Mmkay..” He let go of her as she led him into the living room. 

    “All this looks delicious.” He commented, coming to sit on a small pillow. 

    “Boy who you tellin? I almost smashed waitin for you to come.” He stuck his tongue out at her. 

    “You could barely control youself huh?”

    “You already know how it be when I’m hungry.” He playfully poked her forehead. 

    “Tsk tsk…so greedy.”

    “Hey watch it dude.” They shared a laugh. It was so good to relax and chill after a hard day at work. They dug into the food as a comedy played on TV.  They ate until their bellies were full. 

***

    Soon they opened their bibles, food and sake making them unwind. They dug into Ephesians 5; the topic appropriately titled “Marriage.” Roto had just got done reading a verse. 

    “What’d you think about it?”  She asked, peering up at him as he gently fingered the corner of his page.

    “Hm…” Fingers intertwined softly as they laid against pillowy cushions. 

    “I think it speaks to the love of the Father.” 

    “How so?” 

    “He emphasizes how man is supposed to love his wife, how he is supposed to treat her…how he is supposed to submit to His spirit in order to submit to her…The involvement of the Holy Spirit is not only crucial but it reflects the love relationship God desires to have with us. Everything about marriage is representative of Jesus’ relationship with us…His Bride.” His answer made her spirit soar.

    “Whoa babe. That’s deep.” She wrote down the points he’d made and tightened her grip on his fingers. 

    “I think the bible is deep in and of itself. It’s kinda like a book of relationship. That’s all God desires… evident in His words and his thoughts.”

    “Mm. I used to think that Christianity was just a pointless religion. But, once I actually accepted the fact that Jesus died for me…that God loved me so much He sent His son to do that, I realized that real Christianity isn’t religion. It’s a relationship with God through His son Jesus.”

    “That’s so true Roto! It’s kinda hard to accept at first. Cause you be like how could God possibly love me? Look at the things we did… the way we lived our lives… we couldn’t possibly be called clean or worthy…But the truth is that we are loved. He wants us exactly as we are…”  He smiled, dimples deepening sweetly. 

    “Mm…”

***

    Their study continued longer than they’d expected and soon hours had passed. Through it all, they had grown even closer to one another. They’d grown full in their faith. She laid against his chest and listened to his heart beat against her ear. Sighing deeply, she wrapped an arm around his waist. 

    “That was amazing.”

    “Mm. We should do this again.”

    “Everything piles around us and it be feelin hard to get through the week sometimes.” 

    “Mm.” 

    “Roto?” 

    “Yeah babe?” 

    “Speakin of marriage…we haven’t actually talked about it you know…”

    “About what?” 

    “Our wedding date.” 

    “Ah..” He sat up some, holding her tight against him. 

    “We’ve both been so busy babe.”

    “I know.” 

    “If you could envision the perfect month to get married, when would it be?” She bit her lips and hummed. 

    “I’d wanna do it in the spring cause that’s the season we met in.” He smiled. 

    “I was thinking in the summer because that’s when we were both allowed to be the freest. So many good memories we had in the summer.” 

    “Then again… we could get married in the winter time…member that Christmas kiss under the school mistletoe?” 

    “I’ve never forgotten about it.” She snickered. 

    “Good. Neither have I.” He grinned, glancing down at her. 

    “After all these years huh…” She hit him on the chest. 

    “Hiroto…you gon get out.” He laughed heartily, reaching for her. 

    “Don’t be like that babe…” Pursed lips faced him. 

    “I think we should pray about this weddin date and see what comes up. I’ma get with Lee and Amee and see what they think and you get with Bu.” He nodded. 

    “That sounds good. To be frank, I don’t particularly care about the date. As long as you’re Mrs. Iwase at the end of the day… I’m good.” He yawned and stretched across her bed, sighing into the sheets.

    “Let’s call it a night babe.” She gently slid fingers into his hair.

    “Yeah I’m tired too.” 

    “I’d best be going then. If I’m not careful, I’ll fall asleep right here.” He slowly got up and went into the living room. She soon followed to find him disposing of the food containers and placing the sake cups in the sink. 

    “Roto you didn’t have to do that…”

    “It’s only proper.” He said softly as he washed the cups and put them on the drying rack. Smiling to herself, she came behind him and wrapped her arms around him. 

    “Be safe going home?” He turned and stroked her cheek.

    “I’ll text you as soon as I’m in.” 

    “Thanks for comin over.” 

    “Anytime.” She slowly lifted on her tip toes and pressed her lips to his. 

    “Goodnight Roto.” He smiled against her mouth.

    “Goodnight my darling.”  


***

A few weeks later…

    Screams permeated through the summer air and the smell of cotton candy and popcorn wafted across her nose. Fingers intertwined tightly as the sky rose to meet them. The sun had gone down, leaving the night clear and stars bright. She allowed the wind to drift through her shaky fingers and with a slight smile glanced at the man who held her heart. He had a large grin on his face as he peered down at all the tiny people below.

    “You look like a kid in a candy store.” She mused with a smirk. 

    “This is exciting.”

    “Mm.”

    “I’m proud of you babe…the last time I brought you up here you freaked out.”

    “I’m still freaking out. I still feel like I’m going to throw up…” He squeezed her hand. 

    “It’ll be okay! This is the last time we go around.” She licked her lips and sighed, the mesmerizing colors of the lights swirled around them. Soon as he’d promised, they were on the ground and a young girl came towards them. 

    “UNCLE HIRO! Come with me! I wanna take you guys on this really big coaster!” Rae shook her head. 

    “Nah boo, my stomach can’t handle it right now. Too soon.” 

    “Okay! Come on Uncle Hiro!” She yanked him in a random direction, bringing laughter to the small group. Weeks turned into summer vacation and quite reminiscent of their high school days, the trio had turned into a group of five.

    “Hisae, wait for us!” Laughter bubbled in the night. 

    “She’s so happy you’re back Hiro-chan! She’s been dreaming of this day for a long time.” 

    “I’m glad of that too. But Hime is still going too fast.”

    “You sure you just aren’t getting old?” 

    “Hey!” 

    “You knew she was gon come for you like that Hiroto.” 

    “You women always tag team.” 

    “Oh it’s you women now huh? Tobu, come get ya boy fore he get himself in trouble.” He sniggered and put his hands up in defense.

    “Hey, I’m stayin outta this. I am not tryin to be in the dog house too. Hiro, you on your own.” 

    “Is that so?” He shouted as he lifted his foot and playfully hit him on the bottom. 

    “Ah! Hiro…” 

    “Nope I don’t wanna hear it.” 

    “You’re the one who got yourself in trouble!” 

    “Hm…” 

    “I’m sorry bro but I fear Rae more than I fear you. Look at her.” The two women busted out laughing. 

    “Smart man! She’s little but she is to be reckoned with!” Hana said, face full of glee. 

    “Hisae-channn! Wait for me!” Rae ran up to catch her and they linked arms as they headed towards a smaller less intimidating ride. 

    “Let’s go get some cotton candy! Hiro-chan, come with!” Hana dragged him away from the direction Rae was headed in with a sharp tug. 

    Hands in his pockets, he smiled to himself as childish wonder lit up Hana’s face. 

    “Let’s play that game Hiro-chan! I bet you can’t out shoot me!” 

    “We’ll see about that.” PEW. PEW. PEW PEW! The vendor grabbed the microphone as they battled it out. 

    “THESE TWO CONTESTANTS  ARE GOING FOR THE ULTIMATE GOAL: A LARGE STUFFED RILAKKUMA! WHO WILL WIN?” 

    “Ah!” 

    “OH SHE’S PUTTING UP A GOOD FIGHT! SHE MAY BE THE VICTOR!” PEW. PEW PEW PEW! 

    “AH NO!” The vendor clucked his tongue as Hana yelled in victory. 

    “THE YOUNG LADY WINS! CONGRATULATIONS!” 

    A pout rested on his lips as she carried away her prize, a bear half her size. 

    “Hey, don’t brag.” 

    “Not bragging. I just smell the sweetness of victory.” He stuck out his tongue at her as they moved through the crowd in search of the group. The bright fair lights lit rainbows into the sky and the night was young…much more fun to be had.  

***

    Fingers brushed against paper, neatly written prose starting to dry. The heat from the sun was almost searing and the clouds in the sky danced so delicately across the blue horizon. A window slightly ajar let a gust of breeze into the room. Soon, the sun would hide away and a blanket of night would clothe the earth, a million little lights brightening up the way. Smoke curled in wisps, floating like mystical clouds upward towards the ceiling. 

    “Hiroto?” He didn’t reply, instead let his fingers dance across a picture. 

    “Hiroto,” The voice had grown closer until it came directly behind him. 

    “Is it today?” 

    “Yes.” Is all he said, tears welling up in his eyes. 

    “She would be proud of you. You know that right?” 

    “I’d definitely like to think so.” 

    “She’s watching over you Hiro-chan. Always has and always will. She’ll be giving you her blessing until you travel on from this life.” 

    “Thank you Hana-chan.” 

    “You’re welcome.” 

    “Did you just come back?”

    “Yeah. Rae’s in the car with Hisae. We thought you would be here so we came by.” He lifted his eyes to the paper that sat on the old battered wood desk. Lifting his fingers, he wiped away the tears that had formed. 

    “How was it? It’s been so long since you saw Rae.” 

    “It was as if she’d never left. Hisae immediately recognized her and damn near tackled her to the ground.” They both laughed. 

    “We spent the longest talking and catching up. Hisae invited her to one of her school performances next month.”

    “That’s amazing. I can tell Hime missed her so much.”

    “She did. Rae is like the Aunt she never had. She’s always held Rae in that regard. I’m just glad we got her back.” 

    “Me too. Now you can stop threatening to beat me. I’ve finally brought her back home.” Hana playfully punched him on the arm. 

    “Thank you. Come on, let’s go and get something to eat. It’s been a long time since we all ate as a family.” 

    “I’d like that.” He took her hand and she helped him stand. He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. A soft smile on his face, they left the room, the incense burning out as if someone had blown on it. There still sat on the table the letter. The wind gently picked it up and it wafted to the ground, the breeze letting in three soft sakura petals. There they landed on the paper, sunlight soon following after. 

***

    Grandmother,

     I wonder how you are doing. I miss you so much. I have wondered throughout the years if you’d be proud of me… I’ve tried to keep the essence of who you are in my mind. I’ve never gotten over your death and perhaps I never will. What happened in this very room haunted me for so many years. But now… I feel a peace. No longer do I see nightmares. Now, I see light. Happiness has filtered in through the shoji and made it warm. Father has taken good care of your home and for that I am grateful. He has appeared to be healed here where you resided. Perhaps he too has made peace and even atoned for his wrongdoings against you. You would have forgiven him. It’s only right that I too practice forgiveness. For as you taught me, life is short and should not be taken for granted. 

    The one thing I am sad about is the fact that you haven’t been able to see me grow… the man you helped form with your own two hands…I can rest assured though. For your spirit is with me even now as I write this to you. I feel your warmth and your love. I’m glad it’s still felt the same since then…long ago. 

    Baa-chan, I have some really good news. I’m getting married. Finally I know! Her name is Ebere…Rae for short. I know you would have loved her. She is strong willed like you. You two would have had a lot of common ground. I think you would’ve called her yours right then and there. Rae and I will be getting married pretty soon and the people in my life are all happy…Everything feels right. As for you, I hope you have been resting well. With what has happened, I imagine you are relieved now Baa-chan.   I will write to you again. For now, let the breeze lull you to paradise. 

    I love you. 

     Hiro-chan

     Hibiki 

End Notes:

A/N: Hey my loves!!! It's been so long since I last updated! So much has happened in four months! <3 If I hadn't stated it before, I moved to Arizona with some family! Soon after, I got a job and I've literally just been working this entire time! <3

My hours are so crazy haha so that's interfered with my writing/creating time! I just had two days off in a row so you bet your butt I spent it writing haha. <3 I think this is such a wonderful transitional chapter!!! So many emotions to be felt! How lovely it is to see how Rae and Roto are growing in their relationship with God together!!! Truly beautiful! <3 Settin that foundation is K E Y lol.

My favorite moments of this chapter is the time Roto had with his father, the trio becoming five and at the very end... Roto's letter to his Baa-chan. So heartfelt! <3 My baby!!! Okay y'all... all I can say now is this: They're ready... Catch you soon! I pray you enjoy this update and that I update soon! LOL. 

P.S- I am still in the process of trying to get Accordance published. That take MOOLAH lol so for the meantime, that's a savings goal lol. <3 Thank you guys for your support thus far! I love and appreciate you!!! <3 

Till next time, 

SHINE BRIGHT, sunny and yellow 

Be set free by the renewing of your mind~

D&L 

P.SS-The formatting may be a bit off, I don't know why it is actin weird! <3 

Matrimony by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

Soundtrack: 

Lianne La Havas- Unstoppable 

Kazami-You 

Arnor Dan- Von 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    Water lapped against the waves. The sun was warm, the clouds billowy and white. Her hands pressed tightly together.

    “There you are.” Turning, brown eyes met the man whose name she’d soon take as her own.

    “Hey…”  He smiled and slowly came towards her. 

    “You’re up early.” She turned her eyes back towards the waves. 

    “I couldn’t sleep.” His eyes soon followed her line of vision and he slid his hands into his pockets. 

    “Neither could I.” She licked her lips and glanced down at her finger. She took a shaky breath. She wasn’t sure if she was scared, excited or both. A part of her wanted to run. But a bigger part of her wanted to scream, cry and laugh all at the same time. She felt her heart pull. Time and time again, she had been feeling as though she was in a dream. But, every time she looked at it…it smacked her in the face. Threading her fingers, she gripped tightly. It was real. This was real. 

    “Rae…” She swallowed and looked up at him. 

    “How do you feel baby?” She pressed her face against his chest. 

    “I’m wondering how much longer I gotta wait till I’m yo wife.” He chuckled.  

    “I’d say we’re pretty close now.” His fingers came to skim her cheek.

    “I can’t wait.”

    “Me neither.” She pulled away from him and slowly entered the water, the element teasing her. He watched intensely as she slowly but surely grew a bit deeper, fingers creating circles around her. 

    “Roto..”

    “Yeah babe?”

    “Come join me…” She turned to look at him and all feeling in his body shot to hell. As if by magnetism, he drew into the water. How beautiful she was, the Kyoto skyline growing shades of pink and dusty lavender behind her. 

    
    “Will you rest early tonight?” He asked, pulling her against him. She didn’t say a word just leaned back against his chest, the breeze rustling her dress. 

    “Maybe…” She finally whispered, fingers threading through his. Silence surrounded them and he pressed his lips against her temple. Finally away from the noise of the world, they were able to plug into a different world… their own. He’d freed a good month of his schedule and made sure that in that time they would get some time to relax. They’d taken a trip to Kyoto, his birthplace. They’d never had a chance to visit and he was excited to show her around. They had happened upon some of his favorite spots to eat and now it was growing dark. 

    “Why don’t we head back to the hotel? I’m sure more awaits us tomorrow.” 

    “Mmkay.” Fatigue was heavy on her voice and she let him pull her away from the tide. 

    “Can I have a piggyback?” He smiled but acquiesed, kneeling. She climbed on his back and gently wrapped her arms around him. By the time they returned, he knew she’d be asleep. And that was perfectly fine. It would give him some time to think and reflect. Feet wet in the sand, he made it back to shore. 

    “Rest well sweetheart.” 

***

    Sunlight streamed in through her window and she pouted, turning her face into her pillow. Growing still, she slowly opened her eyes. When’d she make it back here? Yawning, she slowly sat up and rubbed at her eyes. Hiroto. He’d done all this for her… just to make sure she actually slept. Smiling, she shook her head with a sigh. That man there…A gentle knock at the shoji caught her attention. 

    “Rae?” 

    “What?”

    “Are you awake?”

    “Yeah just got up.”

    “Ah, well I wanted to know if you wanted to go on an adventure with me today.” She slowly got up and slid open the shoji, peering into the surprised face of her own personal goofball. 

    “Is that even a question?”

    “Well…” His cheeks grew pink. 

    “I’m comin Roto. I’m in your hometown… there is no way I’d miss out on anything.” 

    “Okay then. We’ll leave in an hour.”

    “Sounds good.” Before he could leave, she quickly pecked him on the lips. He stole another one before he reached up to shut her door. She peeled off the yukata she’d been sleeping in and ran some bath water. Today was going to be good… she just had a feeling. 

 

***

    His chest filled with emotion and he tightened his jaw. Before them stood the home where once his family had lived in peace. His birth home.

    “Oh my gosh… this is beautiful…” 

    “Mm.” Here, his ancestors for a time dwelled. His father and his father and his father’s father were all born behind these walls. His ancestral roots started in this place. 

    “I was born here.” She gently pulled his arm to her chest. 

    “There’s so much history here… I can feel it.” 

    “Yeah. My father and great grandfathers were born here as well. It was a tradition from long ago.”

    “Wow.”

    “Would you like to go inside?” She looked up at him incredulously. 

    “Roto…I wouldn’t want to mess up anything.” He chuckled lowly. 

    “You wouldn’t. I want you to see me.” She tightened her grip but nodded. 

    “Okay. Let’s go.” They walked up the driveway passing through the small delicately decorated arch. As they came to the door, he reached into his pocket and soon opened the door with a key. She peered inside. 

    “Has anybody lived here since you?” 

    “Mm. Mostly the elders live here now.” 

    “Ohhh okay.”

    “Come on.” Pulling her hand, they stepped inside. Taking off their shoes, they stepped onto the raw wooden floors. 

    “Wow look…” Pictures adorned the walls, some old and grainy. Beautiful women in kimono, hair decorated with ornaments. Men who once stood proudly in dojos, bokken at the ready. As she passed by them, one caught her attention. There stood a small boy, his father’s hand on his shoulder. The two looked identical. 

    “Roto…” He smiled as he approached her. 

    “My father and I.” Her eyes fell to the next picture in the small collection. A woman stood by his father, a small reserved smile on her face. She blinked. That certainly was not the woman he called mother. 

    “Who is this?” 

    “Eri Hada.” She glanced at him but his gaze settled on the woman. 

    “From what my father told me she was a kind hearted girl. She wasn’t of noble blood but he fell in love with her anyway. Something the last few generations of Iwase men have seemed to do.” 

    “Why do you think that is?” 

    “I can’t be sure. But with you, I definitely changed the way we’ve done things.” He came closer to her and wrapped arms around her. 

    “No doubt if she had been my mother things would have been different. But then I’m not sure I would have met you.” She looked up at him who had a serious expression on his face. 

    “Even though it’s been hell, what happened to me brought me to you and for that I’m thankful.” 

    “Yeah… me too babe.” They continued to walk along the pictures of his family until she came to a stop. 

    “Hiroto…is this…” 

    “Yes. My grandmother.” The breath was knocked from her and she couldn’t do anything but stare. 

    “She’s beautiful.” 

    “Yeah. She was.” The woman’s eyes were strong and held just the right amount of mystery. However in all of it, she eluded femininity and grace. The sleeve of her kimono pressed delicately against her face, everything about her intrigued her. 

    “I’m speechless baby.” He smiled against her but pulled her hand, bringing her further into the house. 

    “It's said that some of the famed samurai of the Edo period visited here with many of my relatives.” 

    “Oh wow. That’s crazy….” He led her past the open great room and into an indoor garden. The soft trickle of the water from the bamboo instantly calmed her. For a moment, she closed her eyes and allowed the sensation to surround her. All was quiet as the drops of water splashed against the rocks. There in the distance a bird chirped. Even the sunlight that fell upon her neck was warm and delightful. She heard the quiet footsteps of Hiroto come behind her and his fingers ignited an explosion as they gently grabbed hers. She opened her eyes and turned to look at him. 

    “R-Roto…”     

    “Come with me. I want to show you something.” She allowed him to pull her in the way he wanted to go and soon they came to a room, traditional in nature, a small circular window the focal point. 

    “In this room my mother gave birth to me.” Her heart twisted and she viewed it much different now. 

    “This space is special then.” 

    “Mm.” 

    “I can imagine you growing up here running down the narrow hallways.” He laughed, tightening his grip on her fingers. 

    “Back then, my grandmother used to chase me. Because my mother and father would be gone a lot, I spent my days with her and the other elderly ladies.” 

    “There were no other children to play with?” He shrugged. 

    “Besides Tomoya and Takamasa when they came to visit from Niigata or Nara.” 

    “No girl cousins?” 

    “Of course. But they made it a mission to keep me separated from them.” Like that did anything. 

    “Oh.” He sighed, looking around. 

    “There is one other thing I want to show you. But you have to promise to keep your eyes closed for this one.” She blinked, mouth beginning to open in protest. 

    “It’ll be but a moment Rae.” 

    “Okay… fine.” She heard him leave the room. Soon he came back. 

    “Okay…open your eyes.” With the quickness she flipped them suckers open to find him holding out a pretty black lacquer box. 

    “Hiroto what is this?” 

    “Open it and see.” His eyes teased her and she felt her heart skip a beat as she took the box. Slowly opening it, she found a small bowl inside. Carefully hand painted, gold leaf and gorgeous pink flowers covered the side facing her. 

    “This is so beautiful…is this a chawan?” 

    “Mmhm.” 

    “Was this your grandmother’s?” His cheeks grew red. 

    “No. It’s yours.” She blinked, confusion settling in. 

    “Mine?” 

    “This one time…when I was young, my grandmother had me sit down with her and make chawan. She told me to create something for my future wife.” 

    “You were so young then… how could you know…” 

    “I tried all I could to imagine what a girl might like…” She was quiet as he continued. 

    “This tea bowl is so incredibly special to me. It was the last time she was in good health. And it was one of the last things I made with her.” She had looked down at it, tears welling up in her eyes. 

    “Hiroto..”

    “Do you know what she told me as we made this?” Lip trembling, she shook her head. 

    “You want to show her that you are good with your hands…one day these hands will build, protect and guide.” She grew quiet, gently touching one of the flowers. 

    “A man should never come to his wife empty handed she said.” At the thought, he smiled deeply, dimples deepening. 

    “Roto…” 

    “Hm?” 

    “Thank you… thank you so much.” 

    “I was waiting for the right girl to give it to and now it’s found its owner.” 

    “I’ll take good care of it baby.” She slid the lid back on top and came to kiss him, standing on her tip toes. His arms came around her and slowly he lifted her into his arms, her legs soon draped around his hips. A sharp breeze shook them, forcing them apart…much like a time before. He grinned, pressing his forehead against hers. 

    “I think that’s our cue to go.”

    “Yeah I feel like yo grandmama tellin us to behave.” He laughed and put her down. 

    “Mm. But I feel like she would be happy if she knew this bowl was with you.”

    “I would have loved to meet her.” 

    “Mm.” Holding the box tightly to her, she sighed. 

    “I’m so glad you brought me here Hiroto. It means so much.” 

    “It’s nothing…come I want to show you more.” From there they went on to discover many more sights, sounds and tastes of the boy she had wanted to know. He looked so happy and so peaceful… being home. With the chawan against her chest, she too felt at peace. Like in a way his grandma had given them her blessing too. 

*** 

    Streams of white. Golden sun and crystal clear ripples. In the middle of it all…there…fingers intertwined. Beautiful sakura petals and intensity of torii. Green, lush and rich…the sound and smell of simplicity. The city behind us, tall skyscrapers and many yellow taxis fade into nothingness. The words ‘I do’  and ‘Husband and Wife’ so close. Two hearts form into one and two spirits join together…of One woman and One man. 

 

***

    One woman stood on a balcony, a blanket wrapped around her. Lungs inhaled the air and eyes lifted to see the sun rising. The morning buzz of crickets greeted the stillness, tranquility in the air. It was unusual for her to be up quite this early but she found that she couldn’t sleep. Her phone buzzed from inside her room. A message. She wondered who that was. Coming inside, her fingers drifted across the screen. She smiled.

    Are you asleep? Amee. She quickly replied. 

    Nope. I haven’t been able to.

    I figured as much. I haven’t been able to sleep either. 

    Yeah.

    Are you ready? 

    I’m ready but nervous as hell. 

    Can you imagine what Hiroto is goin through? He probably ain’t sleep either. 

    Probably not. He probably spent the night pacing and sweatin. 

    I still can’t believe it! It took y’all hell and high water to get to this point.

    I know…

    I’m proud of you Ebbie! Out of everybody, you two deserve it.  

    Aw!

    You should gon get some rest Ebbie. Big day today!! She chuckled. 

    I will! See you later! 

    Kay.

***

    Feet pounded against the pavement and sweat soaked the shirt of one man, collecting along his hairline. His legs pulsed with energy and he inhaled deeply before turning a corner. The morning sun rose in the sky and it caressed the waterline. Smiling to himself, he finally came to the front doors of the hotel. 

    “You’re the only person I know who runs at 6 in the morning Hiro-kun.” He slowly chuckled and pat his face with a small towel, glancing at the voice.     

    “Sometimes earlier.” 

    “Yeah this is pretty late for you.” 

    “It was very much needed though.” 

    “I was beginning to wonder where you went. I got up and you were gone..” He grinned. 

    “You’re turning into my mother To-chan.”

    “Well…”

     “I’m stressed as all hell. It was either run or smoke.”  Tobu sighed and uncrossed his arms. 

    “It is a big day man. I’d be smoking ten packs by now.”  He pat his face and neck one last time and smiled to himself. 

    “I’m really getting married today….damn.” Tobu grinned.

    “Yeah and it isn’t that damn leech your parents tried to trap you with. You’re getting married to Ebere freaking Marshall.” He laughed out loud and looked at Tobu whose grin was bigger than he’d ever seen it.  

    “You look like a kid who got what he wanted for Christmas.”

    “I got everything I asked for and then some. Santa didn’t skip out on anything this year.”

Laughter erupted from his belly. 

    “I have been waiting for this day for eons Hiroto.” He lifted a hand to wipe tears that had formed in his eyes. 

    “Mm…” 

    “Now that you’re back, I say let’s get some food.” 

    “You read my mind Tobu..” He grinned. 

    “After you.” 

***

    Outside her window there stood old stone streets, hundreds of years of history right beneath her feet. Besides her, a bible laid open, its pages still warm with the touch of her fingers. She looked up into the beautiful blue sky, filled with clouds. A knock sounded at the door.

     “Rae…it’s Hana…may I come in?” She smiled and went to the door, slowly opening it.

    “Come in!” Hana smiled as she came into the large private room, tatami and green quiet still surrounding them. 

    “I couldn’t sleep last night. I had to come see you hime.” At the title, she blushed and looked away. 

    “Aw Hana… you should be sleepin…” 

    “Nonsense…” She clucked her tongue and came to sit on the tatami, her yukata folded neatly underneath her. 

    “It is such a lovely ryokan we are housed hm?” She nodded with a grin. 

    “Oh yes. I’ve never been to one so fancy. Kyoto is gorgeous…just like the pictures.” Hana watched her with a knowing smile. 

    “I’m so glad he’s sharing it with you Rae.”

    “Yeah I’ve always wanted to come back to his birthplace. We’ve never had the time to make the trip.” 

    “I’m sure so many wonderful memories will be made here…” She winked at her which brought a furious blush to her cheeks. 

    “I-I’m sure…” 

    “Come, let me braid your hair. We are having breakfast like old days…” A wave of nostalgia hit her and she felt like the 15 year old she once was coming to sit in between Hana’s legs. 

    “I thought we weren’t gon see them till it started…” She said quietly as Hana’s fingers gently parted her hair.

    “Hibiki-chan insisted. Personally, I think he still can’t stand to be away from you. So cute.” Hana giggled as she began to plait her hair. Hana’s were the some of the only fingers other than her own that she welcomed in her head and how she had missed them. How gentle and careful she was being, the motions soothing her. 

    “Hi-hibiki-chan?” 

    “A name for Hiroto. It was given to him by his grandmother…” 

    “Oh….”

    “It means echo. Obaa-chan once said that Hiro-chan was her reflection… her echo. They were so close…at hip.” Her heart tugged. 

    “Mm.” She grew quiet, focusing her eyesight on the birds that came to perch on a nearby tree, chatting amongst themselves. Hana silently finished braiding her hair. Placing it around and down her shoulder, she sighed contently. 

    “All done. Now you finish getting ready and we will go to eat.” 

    “Kay.” Hana sighed and pressed her forehead against hers. 

    “I’ve missed being sisters with you. Thank you for coming home.” She said not another word and got up. With a slight bow, she closed the shoji behind her. Her bottom lip quivered as she felt the urge to cry come to her. Hana…her sweet Hana…

    “Thank you Hana.” She got up and began to freshen up, tears of joy meeting both her cheeks and the morning air. 

 

***

    He stood along the wooden ledge of the shoji, fingers tussling his hair. Laughter from within the great room made him smile. Just a moment ago, he had received word that his father would arrive soon to the ryokan. He was thankful that his journey had been safe thus far. Sighing, he turned and paused as his eyes met Rae’s.

    “Mornin.” 

    “Good morning.”

    “I wasn’t expecting to see you until the wedding. This was a pleasant surprise.” He chuckled softly. 

    “I didn’t want to wait until then.” She grinned, her lips in a small purse.

    “This all feels so nostalgic.” 

    “Now that you’re here, everything feels right.” His fingers gently lifted her braid. 

    “I see Hana came to visit you…She hasn’t missed a beat.” 

    “We had a nice talk this mornin.”

    “Mm?”

    “Yeah. Talked bout Kyoto and stuff…” 

    “Ah…” 

    “Thank you Roto…for allowing me to share in this with you.” He pressed his forehead against hers. 

    “I wouldn’t want to share it with anyone else but you baby.” She reached up to loosely grip his collar.     Right then, her stomach started to growl. He laughed softly, pulling her close.

    “Tummy needs food.” Cheeks red, she hid her face in his chest embarrassed as all get out. 

    “Come on, let’s go eat.” 

*** 

    “I always knew we’d meet again.” Sure enough, the famed slickster cousin of Hiroto’s grinned at her as they sat down next to him. 

    “It’s good to see you Tomoya-san.” 

    “Oh no no…just Tomo will do. Anything else from you would be a crime.” 

    “Oh geez… you startin already.” He cackled like an mischievous old lady and sat back some, eying the two of them. 

    “I have to say Rae… it hurts me to know you’ve denied me. I think I coulda made you happy too.” 

    “Boy you was already denied. You never had a chance with this boo.” Roto choked on his food and the chuckle that came from him was deliciously humored. Tomoya winced but the playfulness of his nature hadn’t changed. 

    “Damn she’s sharper now than she was then.” He commented, glancing at him. He only grinned. 

    “The offer of being friends was also denied too I take it. You never called.” Tomo continued with a play sniff. Rae rolled her eyes. 

    “I can’t with you. Y’all Iwases just alike.” Tomoya, as he did in their youth, looked offended and put his hand on his chest, exhaling in exasperation. 

    “Must I be compared to Hiroto again?” At that, he eyed him. 

    “Hey, what do you mean?” 

    “I told you Hiro and I are nothin alike.” 

    “And again I’m tellin you y’all are.”

    “No we’re not.” They both answered, pausing as Rae bust out in laughter. He relaxed and his expression softened. Tomo looked satisfied.

    “I can’t deal with either one of you.” She said in between gasps. 

    “Hm.” Tomo shook his head, that deep grin once again resting on his face. 

     “Is time repeating itself or what?” He smiled. 

    “I think it is.” 

    “I knew then that she was the one for you.” He lifted his eyes from his food to find Tomoya looking at him. His lips turned up into a smile. 

    “I recall you telling me to leave her alone should I not be sure.” 

    “Yeah. Rae was and still is something special. All the shit you have been through and yet here you are ten years later…back together.” So reminiscent of long ago, there she was beside him… looking slightly uncomfortable and out of place. He put his hashi down.

    “Fate had it so it seems.” 

    “That other woman was nothing but fodder. Poor girl. She neither suited you nor did she have the heart to be your bride.” 

    “And Rae?”

    “Still has you whipped as hell.” Tomo commented, his cheshire grin in full effect. 

    “Okay y’all don forgot I’m here again…” 

    “Ah… sorry babe.” He replied, a quiet chuckle escaping. Things grew quiet and he glanced at her as she took in all of the other people young and old who had come to join them for breakfast. She spotted her sister sitting with Hisae and Hana, appropriately clothed in her yukata. Faces unfamiliar to her she skimmed past. He reached out and slid fingers through hers, bringing her gaze back to him.

    “Are you okay?” 

    “Mmhm. Just kinda overwhelmed thinkin bout everything.” 

    “Don’t be sweetheart. We’re in this together.” Smiling, she resumed eating. Breakfast continued on for a few more hours and she felt full in more ways in one. Eating with everyone served to bring the whole family together and she had gotten a chance to glimpse at some of her future relatives. The excitement building within her was enough to make her jump over the moon. She couldn’t wait to officially join this beautiful group of people. 

    “Rae…” Looking up, she found Hana and Amee standing there in smiles. 

    “Hm?”

    “It’s about time you start gettin ready.” At that, Tomoya and Hiroto glanced at her and she felt her cheeks flush. 

    “Okay then.” 

    “Pardon us if we steal her.” Hana said as she bowed slightly. 

    “Go right ahead.” Tomoya replied, returning her bow with a nod. 

    “I’ll see you later then?” She asked, gripping Hiroto’s fingers. 

    “See you soon.” He lifted her fingers to his mouth before letting her get up. 

    “Who is that fine ass man sittin with him?” Amee asked quietly as they began to walk away. She snort. 

    “Girl bye. That’s his cousin.”

    “Oh snap.”     

    “He cool but he flirty as hell.” 

    “He means well though. I can tell he cares a lot for you and Hiroto.” She said with a glance back towards them. 

    “You picked all that up just then?”

    “Girl you know I be observant.” They shared a laugh and headed back towards her room.

 

    *** 

    He stood by the pond, fingers tight around a mild orange glow. Smoke curled in the air and he sighed heavily.

    “You couldn’t resist could you?” Turning, he saw his father approaching. Clearing his throat, he flicked the cigarette he’d just lit. 

    “You are truly my son.” 

    “Oh?” He asked as Shou came to stand next to him. 

    “On the day I married your mother…I did the same thing.” 

    “Stood by a pond smoking a cigarette?” He chuckled deeply. 

    “The exact same thing.” The image of a young Shou lifting shaky fingers to his mouth, doused in sweat made him smirk. 

    “So you too were scared out of your mind.” 

    “Very much so. The way you are tells so much.” 

    “Hm.”

    “You wouldn’t act this way if you didn’t really love her.” His eyes found the koi which seemed to swirl around each other…in union. 

    “I think so too.” The hand of his father came to rest on his shoulder. 

    “I’m so proud of you Hiroto.” He smiled and looked at his father. 

    “Thank you Father.” 

    “I’m ready when you are Son.” He pat him on the back and for a moment he remained still. But soon he turned on his heel and went to his room to get prepared. As he wrapped the hakama straps around his waist, his palms grew sweaty.

    “Hiroto-sama, I just want to keep you aware of the time-”

    “In about a half an hour right?” He interjected. 

    “Yeah.”

    “Understood.” The man at the door smiled. 

    “You’re so nervous your Kansai-ben is coming out. You’ll be just fine.” 

    “Hm.” The man slowly closed the door and he turned back to his reflection. He pulled the straps apart gently until the fabric wafted to the ground. Slipping into something comfortable, he ran fingers through his hair for what seemed the thousandth time. The nervousness sat right in the pit of his stomach and he felt like he wanted to go back to the pond and smoke another cigarette. Another knock at the door brought him away from his thoughts. 

    “Come in.” In came a woman he hadn’t seen since his youth, clad in a beautifully ornate kimono. He stood up at once. 

    “H-Hamako-dono…” The old woman smiled and gently bowed her head. 

    “Hello Hiro-chan.” 

    “W-What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with the other guests?” 

    “Yes. But I wanted to come see you.” She stepped into the room and went over to the hakama he’d had just placed on a chair. 

    “Put these back on. Just these.” He blushed but slowly headed toward the bathroom, reappearing in the hakama. At the sight of him, Hamako smiled. 

    “Ah, my little Hiro-chan’s not so little anymore.” A blush crept down to his neck but he stood still as the woman came towards him. 

    “You look so handsome. Just as your father did and his father before him.” He said not a word as Hamako gently lifted her hands and caressed his face. 

    “Chieko would be so proud of you. To see you now…” He lowered his head and bit his lip. 

    “Hamako-dono…”

    “I knew from the moment I saw that girl that she would be the one you would marry.  She encourages your gentle spirit to soar. Bless the stars I’ve been allowed to see it.” His eyes teared up and he lifted them to look at her. 

    “Now with the clothing passed down the line, you shall have success in your union.” She gently touched the material. 

    “These were specially restored for you Hiro-chan. Even your father didn’t wear these hakama.” He blinked, perplexed. 

    “Who requested these?” Hamako smiled. 

    “Chieko of course. They belonged to her father.” He glanced at his reflection, mouth ajar. 

    “Though they were from the outside, she thought they fit you. Noble as your birthright but simple yet beautiful as is your spirit.” He couldn’t speak and didn’t try to as the tears that had been welling up in his eyes finally released, trailing down his cheeks silently. 

    “My little Hiro-chan…go forth and be like a bird. Take flight and soar… just as Chieko would have wanted…”  He quietly sobbed, emotion spilling over. The little woman much like his grandmother wrapped her arms around him, her warmth and love flowing into him. 

    “Now now sweet child. Let’s get you together so you can meet your bride.”

    ***

    Her fingers shook at her sides and she slowly gripped them. This was it. She could never have anticipated that her life would have ended up like this. In lives like hers only two things happened. You either went to jail or you were killed. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she felt her eyes tearing up. She was getting married to a good man…having once been a hurt abused woman who once thought that the next body was just good enough. Truly, no one but God had done this. 

    “Rae?” Sniffing, she hastily wiped her tears and turned, finding Minako standing in the doorway.

    “Mina-chan…hi.” She came in a soft smile on her face. 

    “You look so beautiful.” 

    “T-Thank you..” She took her in. 

    “What’s wrong Rae-chan?” 

    “It’s um… it’s nothin.”

    “Rae…” She licked her lips and turned to face her reflection again. 

    “I’m just thinkin about my life. What it once was and how it’s changed so drastically.” Minako was quiet for a long while, the quiet sound of her sniffing pierced the room. 

    “Ebere-chan…” She looked up to find her right in front of her, eyes misty. 

    “The blessings of God have been poured on you from the start. He always desired for you to live in the fullest.” At that she began to cry, tears falling down her cheeks. 

    “No doubt what you experienced as a child has been a trial most do not understand. But now you have a chance to live fully and to help others do the same. Good things are happening to you and for you. Don’t doubt them. Expect them.” She wrapped her arms around her and pressed her face against her chest. 

    “M-M-Mina-chan-n….t-thank y-you…” She said in between cries but Minako only smiled, tears of her own sliding down her cheeks. 

    “I love you my beautiful Rae.” She slowly pulled away and went to go blow her nose. 

    “Look at us in here cryin like babies.” She said softly with a chuckle as she dabbed at her eyes. Mina wiped away her tears with an extended tissue. 

    “Yes this day is a lot on us all.” 

    “But I tell you what Mina, I’m glad you’re here with me.” She reached for her hand and gently squeezed. 

    “I wouldn’t be anywhere else Rae-chan.” 

    “Rae! It’s almost time!” She heard her sister call from behind the door. Straightening up, she sniffed and pat her cheeks. 

    “Kay enough cryin. I got a wonderful man out there who wants to make me his wife. I can’t be cryin over the past.” 

    “That’s right.” Mina came to her and rubbed her shoulders. 

    “You are a most fitting bride Rae.” Tucking some loose strands of hair out of her face, Mina pressed a kiss to her forehead. 

    “Are you ready?” She took a deep breath, hands starting to shake again. This time she held them steady and gave her a smile. 

    “I’m ready.” She grabbed a small bouquet and started to walk down the hall. Patrons peeked their heads out of the shoji, whispering, talking, wondering. Up ahead she heard a commotion bringing her to a stop. 

    “Hiroto we have to go this way! Wait a minute!” That sounded like one of his attendants. She paused and pressed herself against a nearby wall. She could hear him growing closer. 

    “Rae…” Her heart began to race at the sound of his voice.

    “Roto…shouldn’t we be makin our way down?” He sighed and she could feel his weight as he leaned against the other end of the wall. 

    “Yeah but I-I had to see you.” She smiled at his stutter. 

    “You’re not…getting cold feet are you Hiroto?”

    “There is no way on God’s green earth I’d ever turn and run.” Her smile grew deeper. 

    “I’ve dreamt of this day for God knows how long…and now it’s finally happening.”

    “I know. It’s crazy ain’t it…” 

    “Something’s missing out of all of this…”

    “What’s that?” She looked down to find that he had gripped her hand, only the wood between them separating them. 

    “Prayer.” She felt her eyes grow misty but she squeezed his hand back. 

    “You’re right.”

    “Let’s do this properly from the beginning.” She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, pushing out all of the watching curious eyes and chattering. Only the feel of his hand secured her. 

    “Dear God in Heaven, we thank you for this moment. Bringing us together in unity for a time such as this. I pray before we take our vows before your presence that you bless our union. Let our marriage be a prosperous one, a unity that is fruitful and blessed. May you pour out your blessings upon us as we become one to do your will on earth. Thank you for giving me this woman. Thank you for being the foundation upon which we have built our relationship. May you continue to be in the center and at the heart of us. May you, O Lord, continue to guide me in the right way that I may guide Rae and our future children. As you have commanded me, let my hands provide and love, pray and heal. Let me love and cherish Rae as you love and cherish me. And most importantly, allow me to do and be right by this woman, proud and supportive of her always.” She took a shaky breath and softly began to pray. 

    “Father, let our marriage serve as an inspiration and testimony to all who encounter us. Help me to be the wife Hiroto needs and allow me to pour goodness, life and blessings into him. Let our love for one another grow stronger day by day, let it never dry out or wan. Even when we disagree and fight, Lord help us to settle our grievances and resume peace. Thank you for sending this man to me. I have been blessed by his presence, his love, his wisdom and his smile. May we always put you first and may we prosper together until the end.” He tightened his grip on her hand. 

    “In Jesus’ name…” 

    “Amen.”  He slowly let go of her hand and she heard him deeply exhale. 

    “I can breathe now…” Heart full, she gripped her bouquet once again. 

    “Hiroto?”

    “…yeah?” 

    “I love you.”

    “I love you too.”

    “Hiroto we have to go! You’ll see her in a moment!” Sighing, he pushed off of the wood. 

    “See you soon?” She swallowed, face warm. 

    “See you soon.” 

***

    The waves crashed against the shore and the sun was shining bright, clouds puffy and white. Off in the distance, the cry of the birds carried on the wind. She felt the wind rustle the flowers interwoven in her hair and tilt her head back, letting it whisper across her skin. All was still. 

    “You look beautiful.” She jumped, turning to find Shou standing behind her, a soft smile on his face. She felt her cheeks grow warm. 

    “Shou-sama… you…you startled me…” He chuckled quietly.

    “I apologize. I didn’t mean to.” Her cheeks grew even more rouge and she bit her lip. Gentle fingers lifted her chin. 

    “I want you to know that you have made me a very happy father-in-law. You are everything I could ask for and I’m so thankful I finally received the daughter I wanted.If you would allow me to…I’d like to present you to him.” She blinked, at a loss for words. 

    “Would that be all right?” She felt tears well up in her eyes and couldn’t contain the whimper that came from her. The man who held her so gently only smiled and pressed his lips against her forehead in a kiss. 

    “I would like that very much.” She said quietly… barely loud enough for him to hear. 

    “Well then my darling. shall we go?” Heart full and love overflowing, she smiled up at him. His kind eyes crinkled up in the corners and she nodded. 

    “Yes.”  He grabbed her hand and wrapped it around his arm and held firmly to her as they slowly but surely made their way towards the first step of her future.

 

***

     On the arm of his father, she slowly made her way towards him. Instantly, his knees grew weak and his breath caught in his throat. Every eye was on her and she looked a bit nervous. The crisp white of her dress caressed her body in silky smooth waves and delicate sheer chiffon clothed her arms. Her hair was swept up away from her face, woven with beautiful white green and pink flowers. Closer and closer she came until they were so close he could reach out and touch her. His father extended her hand. Her hand trembled and she kept her gaze low, her cheeks aglow with timidity. He reached out and lifted her chin, bringing her gaze to his. A pulse of electricity shot through him and he felt his heart race. 

    “Are you ready sweetheart?” She took a shaky breath but nodded. She allowed him to take her hand, pulling it away from his father. He gave her a reassuring squeeze and turned his eyes to the members of their respective families. 

    “I want to thank all who have gathered to join us today. We’re so very thankful.” He bowed deeply. He turned to look at her and for a long while, he didn’t say anything. Licking his lips, he felt his cheeks grow warm.The rush of the water calmed him and his silent prayer to God gave him the push he needed.

    “It’s taken us so long to get here hasn’t it? I don’t know where to start.” He sighed heavily, shaky fingers sliding through hair. 

    “When I saw you for the first time…I thought you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen and I wanted so badly to know you. My monochromatic world exploded into color and from then on, I saw everything so vividly. Where I once thought my life meant nothing, you showed me that I was worth something.” Tears welled up in her eyes and she reached out to touch his cheek with her fingertips.

    “I found myself trying anything and everything to get a glimpse of you. To me, you were an enigma. Your smile was a light and it shined brighter than the pain that dwelled just behind your gaze. But you also were hard on the outside…someone who had seen and lived. You reminded me of a caged bird…much like me. The more I got to know you, I wanted to give you the love and freedom you so desperately needed.” He gently pulled her closer, hand pressed against her waist.

    “In giving you my love, I also gave you heartbreak. Something meant in good intention turned out nearly ending the both of us. For ten years, I was tormented by it, the guilt of what I had done unbearable. But I still loved you. I couldn’t forget you or what we had.” The tears fell down her cheeks and he wiped them away with his thumb. 

    “I had to make it right. I’d do whatever I needed to in order to be a better man to you. And you allowed me to do that and more. You’ve allowed me to heal the broken pieces of your heart and put them back together again. ” He tenderly took her face in his hands. 

    “Our story is one that is ugly and dirty… but beautiful, real and honest. The love I have for you… I can only hope that some day… someone else will experience it.” He pulled her even closer, pressing his forehead against hers.

    “As my bride and the love of my life, I vow before God that I shall forevermore love and cherish you for the remainder of your life. You’ve entrusted me with your heart, mind, soul, spirit and body. A task I am not worthy of receiving. But, I humbly take charge and will treasure all this you give to me.”

***

    Fresh tears slid down her cheeks. Here stood the love of her life, baring his entire soul to her. What would she say… what could she say? You can do this Rae. How will you answer him?

    “At every turn there have been plots to destroy us, voices to mislead us even entities to kill us. Through everything we’ve experienced, you’ve changed me and restored me…you’ve shown that hurt bruised and abused little girl what love is…you’ve shown her that not all men are dirty dogs…. you’ve shown her that she is worthy to be cherished…” She paused as the tears overflowed and he bowed his head, tears of his own breaking free.

    “I remember praying to God one day when I was little…if only He could send me someone who would protect me… that wouldn’t hurt me… and wouldn’t let anybody else hurt me…He answered my prayer when He sent you to me. He never forgot about it even when I wanted nothing to do with you. He created you just for me and I’m so thankful…that we are finally free to live our lives together…as we wanted to all those years ago…” She sniffed. 

    “I remember when you asked me to marry you. It was my birthday and you had taken me out to the pier. Your voice trembled and you started to stutter, face red as a tomato.” She lifted fingers to caress his cheek.

    “I also remember a bitter cold winter night, you and I standing in a freezing solarium. My heart was hardened towards you and when I spoke, anger and hurt came out instead of words. Even so, you stood there, cheeks red from the cold and voice gentle but firm. Still haunted by that little boy on the inside who hurt the only girl he’d ever loved. More and more when I looked into your eyes, I saw less of who hurt me and more of the man I needed to love me. You were no longer that same little boy…the young boy who wanted to hide from the world in waves and booze and cigarettes. Instead, I saw a confident man who faced his demons and decided to live his life for no one else but himself. I saw a man who loved me with his heart and soul; who unashamedly pursued me. Someone who showed restraint even when I wanted to ignore it. You knew the meaning of the word no and with me you abided by it.” She took his hand.

    “Now…now I’m saying yes to you. Yes in all that you desire and want of me. Yes to a lifetime of love, joy and laughter. Yes to happiness. I am willing to submit to you in every way as your wife and as your mate. I know that the hands that touch me provide not pain but love. How warm and gentle they are and I trust them to mold and shape our future. I trust that they will join in prayer to ask for guidance and protection and clarity when the direction of our life is unclear.” She slowly lifted his hand and pressed it against her skin. 

    “I pray that in our marriage, we will be strengthened. That we will grow and learn and love…I pray that the favor of the Almighty Father continues to surround us. I pray that the work of our hands will be blessed and that of our children will be blessed.” 

    “I pray the same also.” His voice was full of emotion but steady and it gave her strength. Shou slowly and quietly approached them. He took her hand and one of Hiroto’s, silent and tearful. He pressed their rings into each other’s hands and backed away from them. Hiroto slowly lifted the ring and placed it on her finger, lifting her hand and pressing a kiss there. She took a deep breath and nervously slid his onto his finger. 

    “May you two now be husband and wife.” Shou said, joining their hands together. He cleared his throat and smiled, eyes watery with unshed tears. Cheers traveled throughout the crowd and he picked her up to her surprise and spun her around, laughter springing up like a well. She held on for dear life but soon the sspinning stopped and he set her back to earth. Slowly lifting her face, he pressed his lips to hers.

    “I love you.” He breathed against her lips, eyes meeting hers. Her heart jumped into her throat and her entire face grew flush.

    “I love you too.” 

    “Rae! You’re finally apart of our family! Yay!” Hisae ran towards her, Hana not too far behind.  Hiroto pulled away from her as the young girl ran into her arms. Se hugged her tightly. 

    “Thank you baby.” 

    “Now you can stay with me and mama.” She smiled down at the girl and kissed her cheek. 

    “I won’t leave you again. I promise.” 

    “Everything about that was so heartfelt. I[m so proud of you two… finally choosing your happiness above all else.” Hana exclaimed coming to hug her.

    “It feels so good.” She said with a soft laugh, closing her eyes as his lips kissed her forehead. 

    “Hiro-chan did good. Now I can have peace. He brought you back home and has done right by you…” Hana sighed happily, holding on to her. 

    “Rae…” Amee and Lee came towards them, pushing folks out of the way that had surrounded them. Arms wide open, she nearly ran into her sister, embrace tight. 

    “I’m so proud of you Ebbie. You did it.”

    “You two are so in love with one another. Damn.” Lee said, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. She pulled away and sniffed. 

    “Love could happen to you too but you steady playin Lee!”

    “Love can’t handle me right now and that’s all there is to it.” Rolling her eyes, she pursed her lips. 

    “Hisae, come here baby. I want you to meet some people. This is your Aunt Amee. She’s my sister.” She bowed her head. 

    “Hello Amee-san.”

    “Hello sweetie! It’s nice to meet you!” 

    “A, this is Hana, Hisae’s mother. She’s practically another sister to me.” Hana bowed her head slightly.

    “Rae has told me so much about you. I’m so glad we’re officially meeting!” The two women gave each other a hug. 

    “You have a good spirit in you like Rae.” The two women started to chat and she observed, grinning. It was always a necessity for her to have them meet each other. Now that they had, it just felt like everything really had come full circle. 

    “Rae where you at?” She could hear the voice of her brother shout over the millions of faces, hands and congratulations.

    “Tre! Over here!” He excused himself around the small group and finally made it over. 

    “Nug, congratulations!” He smiled from ear to ear, lifting her in a bear hug. 

    “This was really dope. Everything was just amazing.” His eyes met Hiroto and he suddenly grinned. 

    “Aye my man! What’s good Hiro?” Hiroto had a grin matching his and she pursed her lips as they joined hands and bumped shoulders. 

    “I’m blessed brother. I’m glad you could make it.” 

    “I wasn’t bout to miss my lil sister’s wedding. Nug, you look beautiful! I know Ma and Pops somewhere mad as hell cause they wasn’t invited.”

    “They shol got they nerve.” He snort and clasped Roto’s hand again.

    “Aye, take good care of my little sister bro.”

    “You know I will Tre.”

    “Um…Rae…who is this?”

    “Hana-chan, this is my brother Tremaine.” He nodded at her. 

    “Tre for short.” She bowed slightly. 

    “It’s nice to meet you Tre.”

    “You too. How you know my sister?”

    “I met her back when she was in high school. We bonded when Hiroto brought her to a family gathering and from there we have been friends ever since. My baby really took to her.” 

    “You have children? You look so young.” Tre inquired, perplexed. Hana laughed, cheeks warm. 

    “Thank you. I have one daughter…Hisae.” Said precious peeked her head out from behind her mother. 

    “Hey there little lady.” Tre smiled at her and she seemed mesmerized by him.

    “H-Hi.”

    “I didn’t know you had such pretty friends Nug.” He grinned, turning back towards her. 

    “Hey. Don’t you start.” He lifted his hands in defense. 

    “What? I ain’t do nothin.”

    “Mmhm.” 

    “Shoo you keep that goin Tre we both gon be kicked out the party.” Lee spoke up, playfully jabbing him. He shook his head. 

    “I ain’t here for nobody but Rae.” 

    “Thank you.”    

    “Well I for one am sad I gotta go. Being around all y’all good folks and these equally fine men is better than bein around old crusty dusty farts back home.” Lee spoke with a pout, crossing her arms. She sighed, sadness sparking on her chest. 

    “Don’t go Lee.”

    “I’m sorry Rae. I have to…” 

    “Rae told me you had an engagement back in the States..” Roto said sadly, a little frown  on his face.

    “Yeah. I gotta convention I gotta go to for my job. I’d rather much stay here with y’all. And uh…meet some of these dudes you got in yo family Hiroto.” She eyed some of them as walked by in their montsuki haori. 

    “Lee you ain’t here to do that anteeway.” Amee said, playfully hitting her. 

    “Girl don’t be acting like you ain’t seen these fineeeeee ass brothas in his family. All I need is one.” 

    “Stop. I beg you.” She replied laughter bubbling up.

    “In all seriousness though…I’m so glad I could come to the wedding. Thank you for inviting me.” 

    “Rae and I are so glad you could come. It means so much to us that you would put work on hold to celebrate with us. Thank you Leah.” She hugged him and flipped her hair over her shoulder, standing up straighter.

    “We gon have to do somethin when I have more free time. All of us.” 

    “Oh hell yeah!” 

    “Sorry to cut this short but I really gotta run. I call you when I’m back in NY.” 

    “Okay boo. Have a safe flight back!” 

    “Love you Rae!”

    “Love you too.” Out of nowhere, Tobu came rushing up nearly bumping into Lee as he pulled her into a hug. 

    “Damn dude…” She heard Lee mutter but the grip on her shoulders brought her attention back to him.

    “Thank you. Thank you for saying yes.” She felt her eyes grow watery and reached up to grip his haori. 

    “Tobu…” 

    “Now that you’ve come back… everything will be okay. I’ll be okay.” She sighed against him and he swallowed tightly, pulling away from her.

    “Now that you are officially married, I say we all go back to the ryokan. I see a hell of a lot of sake being consumed tonight.” Roto chuckled. 

    “Yeah you’ll be drinking most of it.” 

    “You damn right. My two best friends got married. I’m drinking till I can’t anymore.”

***

 

    “You actually did it.” He grew still as a voice spoke behind him. Turning slightly, he saw his cousin Takamasa standing there with a smirk.

    “So you’re here.” 

    Why wouldn’t I be?” 

    I thought perhaps you had something more important to do.” The smirk slid off of Taka’s face. 

    “In the affairs of the Iwase, I always show up.” 

    “Ah,” 

    “I never thought you would have actually marry her.”

    ‘Is that so?”

    “I thought she was just your latest fling.”

    “Guessed wrong.” Taka snort. 

    “It seems I did.”

    “Are you congratulating me…I’m not sure.”

    “Yes of course. You have a beautiful wife and now you can finally start to uphold your duty as Head of the family.” 

    “Finally?” He eyed him intently, irritation sparking. 

    “I figured you two would be out here.” Both men turned as Tomoya slowly approached them, a deep boyish grin on his face. 

    “So you’re here too.”

    “That I am.”

    “It’s a pity you aren’t married yet Tomoya.” Taka mused dryly, a light grin on his face. 

    “One day.”

    “The cat seemed to drag us all here together again… I don’t know why.” 

    "To celebrate of course.” 

    “I suppose.” 

    “Taka, don’t be mad that Hiro finally got married and you’re still single.” Taka snort again, this time louder. 

    “Please.”

    “So… you guys out here havin a mature talk or can we get back to the booze?”

    “Frankly, I’m not sure what we’re doing.” He answered with a withdrawn sigh. 

    “How long has it been since you’ve waited for this?” Taka asked, leaning back against the shoji. 

    “A few years. At last, this man took care of his business and got the girl. There was no way I would miss him marrying my girlfriend.” 

    “Girlfriend hm?”

    “Hiro knows I’m only teasing. Besides, it’s all in good fun.”

    “I’m surprised he lets you get away with that. The last time I was around her he was her security guard.”

    “You intended to get her drunk.” He replied coolly, expression bland. Their eyes met. 

    “I wanted her to partake in Hanami the right way.”

    “Not on my watch.” Taka scoffed, a deep frown on his face. 

    “Are you going to police how much she consumes tonight?” 

    “You are out of line Takamasa. Remember your place and stay in it.” 

    “Guys, chill out.” Tomo interjected, the grin on his face gone. 

    “Look, all I’m saying is that she’s a grown ass woman. She doesn’t need him being her father.” He felt his nostrils flare. 

    “Okay, you’re going to cool it or I’ll make you.” He turned away from his cousin, blood boiling. Not today. Not now. 

    “My intention was to give my well wishes but I think it’s in my best interest if I go back to Tokyo.” 

    “Taka look…I have no doubt that Hiro appreciates your congrats. But all the other stuff is out of line. Leave his wife and how he conducts her alone. Since you’re here, the least you could do is stay for the night.” Tomo said with a sigh, eying him.

    “Good enough. I’ll retire early then. As for you Tomo, you talk big but try not to be all over Rae’s bridal party.” Taka chided before throwing up his hand in farewell. He unclenched his jaw and relaxed as Tomo sat down. 

    “Damn it to hell. You two are as icy now than you were when we were kids.” He shrugged noncommittally. 

    “I was right to keep my eye on him then and damn sure now.” Tomo sighed. 

    “I think we’ve gotten him together. But he holds such an uncanny opinion on Rae.”  He stiffened. 

    “That’s why my eyes will be on him more now than ever.” 

    “You don’t think he’ll do something do you?” 

    “With his character and his reputation I wouldn’t put it past him.” 

    “He won’t.” 

    “Tomoya…have you forgotten what happened so quickly?” Tomo sighed. 

    “I haven’t forgotten. But that was never proven.”

    “With an influential family such as ours it wouldn’t be.” 

    “Do you really think he did it?”

    “I know he did it.”

    “But…Hiro…”

    “Just as Aki abused Hana behind closed doors. The name carried him. It excused him from any consequence.” 

    “Until you came along.” 

    “He has always been the sly one. I’m man enough now to call him out on it.” Tomo sighed heavily. 

    “All of this is making me wanna smoke. Look, forget all of that for now. He’s just trying to upset you. This is your day and if I remember correctly, you’ve got a gorgeous ass woman in there waiting.”

    “Oh shit. Rae…” He nearly tripped over his feet trying to stand. Tomo chuckled. 

    “You are one lucky bastard you know that?” 

***

    “Sake?” She smiled and gently bowed. 

    “Please.” Her cup was filled and she slowly took a sip. She sat by the wall, hands pressed into her lap. Everybody and they mama was here drinkin, eatin and laughin. It was truly beautiful to see. She spot Amee laughing with Hana and Tre not too far from her. Mina-chan and her husband sat in the corner, drinking sake and conversing with some of Hiroto’s relatives. Now the only person missin was Hiroto. Sooner than later, she saw him come in. His eyes soon met hers.

    “I was wonderin where you went to.” She said as he drew nearer. He sat down beside her, cheeks rosy.

    “Sorry I kept you waiting babe…” 

    “It’s okay…” Her eyes fluttered closed as the warmth from his lips brushed across a shoulder.

    “What did I miss?” 

    “Not much. Everybody just chillin.” 

    “Ah.” She smiled inside her cup as his fingers inched their way down her back. She leaned against him as he drank a bit. Something about the way he held her made her glance up at him. His face was slightly stony, not relaxed as it should be. 

    “Hiroto..” He glanced down at her, pausing mid sip. 

    “Hm?” Lifting up, she pressed fingers against his cheek. 

    “Somethin wrong?” He put the cup down. 

    “I’m alright.”

    “Sure?” 

    “Mmhm.” 

    “Girl yo honeymoon bout to be poppin.” Amee peeped, eyes finding them over the top of her cup. Heat flushed her.  

    “Dang where you come from?” She cut her eyes at her but she only pursed. 

    “I been seein y’all all evenin.” 

    “A you just as bad as Lee…quit.”

    “You know yo life bout to be changed.” Roto chuckled, his grin in full effect. 

    “What you grinnin about?” She asked, hitting him on the shoulder. 

    “I have no comment.” 

    “See he know it too.” Amee teased, winking. 

    “Amee, leave em alone. They married now. I’m surprised they still here.” Tre put in as he joined them, a slow grin appearing. 

    “You too? I can’t deal.” 

    “Aye, I’m just sayin. Y’all could be anywhere but here. I ain’t mad at my man Hiro. He feelin up what’s his. That’s aiight.” He lifted his cup and the two men toasted, bringing explosive laughter from the women. 

    “Yo they really toasted like…”

    “Both of y’all officially fired.” A boyish grin sat on Roto’s face and Tre was smug as a mug.

    “Real talk though I’m so happy for y’all. It’s good to see my lil sister so happy.” 

    “I found you!” A voice suddenly cut through the noise. Eyes popped open.

    “Mina-chan!” The woman giggled, eyes teary as she took her in.

    “I hope I didn’t interrupt Tre.” 

    “Nah, you good Ms. Minako.” Her aged hands cupped her cheeks. 

    “You are a beautiful bride.” 

    “T-thank you…”

    “I am blessed I was able to be witness you two wed.”

    “We’re both blessed you could be here Minako-sama.” Roto spoke, eyes gentle. 

    “Now all I have to wait for are the children.” Her eyes grew wide and she glanced up at Hiroto who cleared his throat.

    “Ah… t-that will s-surely come.” He stuttered, face and ears red as a whistle. 

    “But of course.” Minako kissed her forehead. 

    “Enjoy your night my dear. I shall speak to you soon.” She squeezed her hands and left them. It was at that moment that she wanted to retire. Just to be alone. She put her cup down and finished eating what was on her plate.

    “You look tired baby.”  He draped himself around her, his arms loosely hanging at her sides. 

    “Yeah I’m ret to go to bed.” 

    “We’ve had an amazing day.”

    “Yep.” 

    “Ready to go?” 

    “Mmhm.” 

    “Aw shoot here they go. Okay Rae…” Amee teased, sticking out her tongue.

    “Girl. Goodbye.” She slid fingers through his. 

    “We’re hittin the sack y’all. Goodnight!” 

    “Good night you two!”

    “Have fun.” The group grinned ear to ear. 

    “Let’s toast to that!” 

***

    Nothing was said as they laid together, the warmth and silence between them comfortable. In the sticky heat of the summer night, the fireflies hovered a breath away from them. His arms wrapped around her and pulled her against him, burying his face against her hair. Sighing, she eyed the ring that sat real pretty like on her finger. The next chapter of their lives had just begun and she couldn’t wait to write upon the fresh pages. In holy matrimony. Turning to face him, she watched him sleep until her eyelids closed and it too claimed her. 

 

***

    There in the midst of the dark stood a boy and a girl. Hands together, they looked toward the light that was building. Slowly they began to take a step and soon the light fully engulfed them. No turning back. Now their lives were forever intertwined and as long as they had the light to guide, they would be okay. 

End Notes:

  A/N: OMG HELLO MY LOVES! <3 <3 HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?! MY BABIES DON FINALLY GOT MARRIED!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I TELL YOU, THIS CHAPTER TOOK SO MUCH TIME BUT I WANTED TO MAKE SURE IT WAS DONE RIGHT AND FELT RIGHT! IT WENT THROUGH SO MANY CHANGES BUT I THINK IT FEELS R&R NOW. OMG. LOL. Favorite parts of the chapter were: Roto givin Rae her chawan. Seriously.... This is such a beautiful and pivotal part. Truly a piece of his heart and soul. Another part that made me tear up was the scene with Hamako-dono. That prayer bit right before the wedding also was a favorite! <3 Hiroto and Rae were so stinkin cute in this chapter hehehe. I just.... I just have so many emotions right now like.... Their love and their story is truly a blessing to write! I did a wee bit of foreshadowing in here for what's upcoming.. The best is yet to come. Already got ideas for next chapter but for now I just want to revel in the fact that my babies are really married! hehe. OH. I should let you guys know that I have personally contacted this guy here: 

to ask him if he would consider playing Hiroto in real life but see what happened was my Japanese is very limited and uh lol. I hit him up on his instagram and don't know if he ever saw it! BUT! I took the balls to go that far and I really want this to be a thing so I will continue to try to reach him until he finally replies back. Prayers for that guys! I contacted the visual for Rae this beautiful woman here: 

last year and send her the link to Accordance at the time and she read a bit and said she loved it. lol. I freaked out! I was like omg lol. Truthfully though, as much as I would love Natasha to play Rae... in real life she's not as short as Rae is. Sooo if I were to do a casting call for Rae;s character, I'd be looking for a sista that's more along those lines! I would definitely love to involve Natasha in the process however haha. So yes that's exciting hehe, Now I'm gon stop talkin and put a butt load of pictures lol. Please tell me how you liked the chapter, what your thoughts were, etc. I really appreciate them! I love you guys and am so thankful for you supportin my works!!! <3 Let's go till it gets on the big screen! <3 Many blessings to you in Jesus' Name! See you soon! 

P.S- Kansai-ben is the loyal accent of Kyoto and surrounding areas. Kyoto is located in the Kansai region. <3 It is quite a charming accent to hear haha. It differs from the accent heard and spoken in Tokyo.

P.S.S-I REALIZE THERE ARE SOME TYPOS! PLEASE EXCUSE THAT! I WILL GO BACK IN AND EDIT! <3 

~D&L

 

PICTURE TIME: 

Chawan Roto made with his grandma: 

Rae's wedding dress: 

Rae's wedding hair (with more white flower accents): 

Rae's ring:

 

 

Hiroto's montsuki haori (wedding kimono): 

Hiroto's hair:

Tobu's kimono:

 

Hiroto's birth home in Kyoto: 

Eri Hada and Shou Iwase as youngsters (in the picture): 

Iwase Chieko (Hiroto's Grandmother): 

Rivet by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

** CONTAINS GRAPHIC LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT.**

Soundtrack: 

Justin Nozuka- Right by You 

Justin Nozuka-Sweet Lover

Justin Nozuka-Eyes Changing Color 

 

 

 

 

imgbox

 

“What’re you doin here?” Eyes lifted to see the one he’d waited for standing in front of him, hands on her hips. He cleared his throat. 

    “You forgot your bag at school.” Large brown eyes peeked down to find her back pack sitting next to him neatly. 

    “Oh snap…I didn’t even notice.” He smiled, dimples deepening. 

    “Lucky for me to find it.” She sucked her teeth. 

    “How long you been waitin?” Balling up his lips, he shrugged. 

    “Not too long.”

    “Don’t lie.” He didn’t reply but instead took the time to observe her as she reached down to pick up the bag. 

    “Thank you Roto…I appreciate it.” He gently pulled himself up from the stairs and slid his hands into his pockets. 

    “It’s nothing.” For a little while it was quiet before, 

    “W-would you like to come in for a lil bit? You came all the way here…” 

    “Are you sure?” 

    “Y-yeah. J-just for a lil bit.” The blush on her cheeks and stutter on her tongue warmed his heart. He swallowed thickly. 

    “Sure.” Gently, she took his pinky in hers and led him inside. 

***

    Sliding fingers through damp hair, he took a deep breath. The air of the morning was cool, the crisp refreshingly unusual for summer. Fall was on the wind and he could almost taste it. The morning sun and the sky intertwined beautifully and the colors that exploded therein were nearly magical. He heard a soft sigh from the inside and turned towards the woman who still slept, deep and sound. Everything that had happened in the past 24 hours would have worn anybody out. They’d left their loved ones in Japan and made it to France after a 12 hour flight. As soon as they had been taken to their room, she had crashed, her shoes still on her feet. He was surprised that he wasn’t asleep yet. Perhaps it was the excitement of being in a new city, sites, sounds and experiences to be had.  Then again, the time spent watching her was precious and he didn’t want to disturb her. Turning back towards the breeze, he inhaled the clear night air. Just a fingertip away it seemed stood the city’s most iconic symbol, its lights bringing clarity into the dark otherwise quiet atmosphere. 

     Slowly turning away from the open french door, he slowly came to the side of her and gently skimmed her calve. He quietly unlaced her shoes and pulled her feet into freedom. Socks were pulled away and with a smile, he leaned down to press a kiss to the flesh. Letting her go, he lifted his shirt and shook messy strands out of his face as he came to collapse next to her, face first into the pillows. Then and only then did he fall asleep. 

***

    The smell of freshly baked bread brought my stomach to life and now I can’t go back to sleep. I don’t know how long I’ve been knocked out but however long it was, I needed it. Roto and I just made it to Paris and so far, the first day here we are still resting. He’s completely gone and it makes me smile to watch him get all tangled up in the covers. 

    At that, eyes drifted to said man and a smile appeared deep and humored. 

    I am sitting here still in complete shock over all that’s happened. Like…. am I really no longer Ebere Marshall? Am I really Iwase Ebere? Every time I run it over in my mind, I get chills. Mrs. Iwase never sounded better and it fits perfect like a glove. My heart skips a beat and my entire face flushes every time I hear it. That damn twinkle in Roto’s eye engulfs his entire face. He’s a trip. 

    The pen paused as she sighed. 

    It’s nice to be able to get away for a little while. From the wedding planning to Shoutouii… it’s been crazy stressful. For a moment in time, Roto and I can finally exhale. Everybody back home has been so supportive of us and it really means a lot to us. How’s life so far as a married woman? Well so far dear pages, it’s too early to place any insightful experiences. Mostly, it’s been full of emotion. I’m excited to see what Paris has to offer the both of us.  I’ll let you know all about it as the time passes. Till then,

    Rae. 

    Yawning softly, she placed the pen in the center fold of the journal and closed it. It had been a while since she’d last journaled and it felt good to chronicle their new journey. The weather outside looked beautiful but truthfully, she wasn’t in any hurry to head out. Her body still felt like a sandbag and all she wanted to do was be lowkey and chill. Her stomach growled and she silently told it to hush. Since it was being impatient, she might as well gon get somethin to eat. Glancing at her big sleeping baby, she quietly slid on some slippers and headed downstairs. There at an empty table sat a lone couple, what appeared to be the morning news showing on the television. French filled the room and the smell of eggs went right to her tummy. 

    “Ah…hello.” She tightened her fists. Her French was non existent and she severely hoped the couple knew English. The woman turned to her and smiled warmly.  

    “Good morning. I trust you slept well?” Her tone was warm, rich and like butter and it made her instantly feel at home. She nodded with red cheeks. 

    “I did. Thank you.”

    “I am glad. Breakfast shall be ready in a few more minutes. Surely, more of our guests shall join us.” 

    “Mm.” She gingerly pulled out a chair a little way from them and sat down, licking her lips. 

    “I recognize you.” The woman got her attention, eyes intensely focused on her. 

    “Oh?”

    “Yeah. You’re that young man’s business partner.” Dang even in France they know. 

    “Yeah…”

    “You two make nice couple.”

    “O-oh…um..thanks.”

    “I am glad you finally married him.” Her statement made her look at her, cheeks warm as the sun. 

    “I-I’m sorry?”

    “Ah, forgive me. Would you like sausage link or patty?” The woman, kindness and wisdom all over her stood up. 

    “Link please…” 

    “Link it is. I shall return with a feast for you.” She didn’t reply as the woman entered into the kitchen. She wasn’t sure why but the older woman kinda reminded her of Minako. She grew quiet as soon more guests came to fill the tables. 

    ***

    It had to be that damn sienna. Every time it flashed it made her grow weak. Too many times before, she’d almost found herself in trouble. Sure they had established that the mere want… the mere desire was of no harm. But the act of carrying out the mere want and mere desire was something else entirely. Maybe it was the way his fingers caressed hers absentmindedly. He was nose deep in a book. His eyes stayed fixed to the pages but occasionally, his fingers would brush her knuckles. It sent a rush of electricity up and down her spine. Time and time again she wondered… if it were to happen… what would she do? It wouldn’t be the first time she’d seen a man naked… but he was different… he was the love of her life. It could have been the way his lips formed her name or the laughter that came unchained from his belly. Whatever it was, she was certain that when it did happen… she’d never be the same. As far as she knew, the love between them was otherworldly. She’d change and maybe that wasn’t a bad thing. 

    “Rae, would you like to make Hiroto-kun’s plate?” Minako’s voice brought her away from her intense gazing. She allowed her eyes to fall away from him. For the tiniest moment, her fingers would have to forego his. 

    “Sure.” 

 

 

***

    The next morning he had gotten up and washed the long hours of travel off of him. Everything was quiet and still, the sun pale. He’d come back, towel drying his hair to find Rae sprawled out across the bed, traces of drool pooling on the pillow. He grinned to himself and sat down not too far away and just watched her. The simplest things about her, the most mundane things he loved. She was so precious. Lifting his arms to stretch above his head, he felt his legs ache. It was time to go for a run. Sighing, he got up and pressed a kiss to her temple. She moved not. He smiled against the skin before quietly closing the door. His feet began its natural rhythm upon the pavement and he let the sun, wind and surf guide him. 

***

    When she’d finally awakened, it was growing late in the afternoon. She groaned against the pillow and slowly lifted her head, her hair covering her face. 

    “Good morning baby.” She whined and turned over, glancing up at him. 

    “What time is it?” 

    “3 pm.” 

    “I slept that long?” 

    “Mmhm.”

    “I don wasted this entire day.” He chuckled. 

    “Don’t worry about it babe.”

    “I didn’t mean to sleep that long.” 

    “You needed it.” 

    “I guess.” She pouted with a sigh. 

    “I haven’t done much myself.” 

    “Hm…” 

    “Are you hungry?”

    “Boy you know I’m always hungry.” He chuckled. 

    “Want to get something?” 

    “Mm I gotta wake up first…” 

    “Understood.” She yawned and lifted her arms above her in a stretch. 

    “Oh… I got you a plate from yesterday. Did you see it?” He nod. 

    “Mm. Thank you. Devoured it as soon as I got back.”

    “You’re welcome. Where’d you go?” 

    “Run.”

    “Ah…” 

    “I doubt we’re going to go anywhere so I say we get something to eat and watch something on the television. Tomorrow is when the fun will begin.” 

    “Oh yeahh we goin to the Louvre!”  He wiggled his eyebrows playfully. 

    “I think we should save our energy for that hm?”

    “Yeah you right. Let’s go grab some grub and make it back.” Pulling her hair back into a puff, she hopped off the bed and slid into some shoes. 

    “Ready?”

    “Ready Freddy.”

***

    Three days. That’s how long it’s been since we’ve been in Paris, France. In such a beautiful city such as this, I swear all we been doin is lazing around. Tomorrow though, we are actually gonna get out and go do somethin. That flight took more out of us than I think we anticipated. I know this entry is short but I’ll have a lot more exciting things to share with you tomorrow Journal. Till then… goodnight. 

    Rae. 

 

    ***

    Instead of sunshine, the rain met them the next day. Even though it was pouring, she had grown tired of sitting up in the hotel room. Roto with his restless self felt the same so they’d gotten a bite to eat from the downstairs cafe and headed out, umbrellas in hand. A trip to the Louvre had their names on it and she was excited. Glad that she’d dressed real casual, her tennis shoes dipped into the small puddles that lay in the streets. All around, tourists scattered about, forcing her to stay close to him. 

    “Babe, where we meetin this group at?” She asked, glancing up at him. 

    “A cafe up ahead.”

    “Mm.”  They kept walking and he let go of her hand to press it against her back, pulling her with him as they navigated through the throng of people. A myriad of languages surrounded her and she felt nearly overwhelmed until finally they saw a small group of people up ahead. Lightly jogging, they made it to the group which appeared to be departing. 

    “Ladies and Gentlemen welcome! My name is Alois and I will be your tour guide on today’s trip. We will be venturing to the Louvre, which is one of the most famous museums in the world. I hope you are ready to get out of this rain.” The group chuckled and soon they all filed into a shuttle. Soon they made it to the museum. 

***

    Swirling color, marble and dizzying French countryside took his breath away. Depictions of life no longer lived permanently covered the walls but what fascinated him the most was the woman with her face pressed up against a painting. There in the painting was a woman, drawn in such classic elegance. She stood with a quite manly weapon in hand and the expression captured was that of ferocity. A warrior woman. 

    “Is she your wife?” A voice brought his attention away from her to find a couple standing beside them, a smile on their faces. He nodded. 

    “I could tell by the honeymoon shirt she’s wearing. Congratulations.”

    “Thank you.”

    “I knew I recognized you. You’re the famous business mogul right?” He slid his hands into his pockets. 

    “Right now, I’m just Hiroto.” The man smiled and outstretched his hand. 

    “Nice to meet you Hiroto. I’m James. This is my wife Beverly.” Fingers tightly gripped each other. 

    “Pleasure.”

    “We’re from the UK.” 

    “Ah, quite a lovely country that is.” He mused, the tiniest trace of a smile on his face. 

    “Thank you.” 

    “What brings you to Paris?” 

    “Funny you ask. We just recently got married too! Bevy has always wanted to come to Paris so I thought it nice to treat her.” He smiled. 

    “Congrats on your union.” The woman blushed but nodded. 

    “Same to you Hiroto.” 

    “Baby?” They all turned to see Rae slowly come up to them, confusion on her face. 

    “Oh sorry! We didn’t mean to distrupt you!”

    “No you’re fine.” 

    “These are some of the people in our group. James and Beverly.” He spoke against her shoulder, his arm coming to enclose around her. 

    “Oh. It’s nice to meet you two. I’m Rae.” 

    “Pleasure is all ours.” 

    “Well I think we should explore some more. What do you think Bevy?”

    “Yeah, let’s go! We hope to see you guys again… hopefully soon!” 

    “Yeah that’d be nice! Um… Beverly, would it be forward to ask for your number?” The woman gently shook her head. 

    “Not at all. I was thinking the same thing.” The women exchanged numbers and soon they all went their separate ways. 

    “Nice couple.”

    “Mm.” 

***

    The rain pelted against her cheeks, her fingertips spread to catch the cool drops. The sky wept and it hit her throat, soaking into her shirt. 

    “Rae?” The earth beneath her shifted as she opened her eyes towards the voice. There stood Hiroto, the only one worth the distraction. 

    “Shouldn’t we get inside? It’s starting to pour.” She smiled, her skin lukewarm. It once was so warm. 

    “I don’t mind it.” He didn’t say anything else but instead came to join her in the rain, the cool refreshing burst of wetness shocking his system. 

    “It’s beautiful here.” He was quiet but she could feel his eyes on her. 

    “The lights, the warmth…it’s really special here.” 

    “I’m glad you like it so far.” She finally turned her head, away from the sobbing atmosphere to meet an intensity altogether different. The light from the nearby lamp drifted across his face and it suddenly set her skin ablaze, the rain no longer a sedative. 

    “What?” He said not a word but smiled softly, letting the drops to cover his throat. 

    “It amazes me how connected you are with the earth. It’s uncanny.” She swallowed. 

    “In a way deeper than the average can understand… you connect with God Himself through the simplest things.” 

    “I guess I always been like that.” The laughter that arose from him was kind and gentle. 

    “Hey, you two should get in before you catch colds!” They glanced at the person who who had stopped walking past, the suggestion sincere. 

    “What he say?”

    “We should get inside.” 

    “Oh?” The foreign reply that came from him allowed her to drift away from there and once again indulge in the quiet night, the lights and soft pattering against the ground surrounding her. 

    “Let’s go babe.” Strong arms came to close around her. She sighed and leaned back against him. 

    “Okay.”  

***

    The next few days passed like a blur and the time hadn’t waited for no man. They’d made new friends out of the couple they’d met at the museum and had stopped to have drinks with them once or twice. Above all the street food she’d consumed and the local markets they’d happened by, they’d gone to the Eiffel Tower and climbed to the top, despite her scary ass being scared of heights. She’d damn near gripped Roto’s hand off but once they’d seen the breathtaking view of the city, she fell in love with Paris all over again. Pictures could not compare to the way the sun hugged the city, robust and full of history. They’d shared a drink at the bar and once the sun started to set, they made their way back to the hotel. Energy zapped through the streets and it never seemed to run out, even at night. In a way it reminded her of New York but more warm. All this she had recorded in her journal, the wanderlust now at 10. Though it had only been a few days since their arrival, she wanted to see and do more, make more memories. And indeed they had. But one such memory would never be recorded within the pages. It instead would permanently stay in her mind and live in her heart. 

***

 

    That particular day she thought they were going to travel to Luxembourg Gardens and see the River Seine but instead, she was met with a team of photographers and a grinning Hiroto.

    “Um…what is goin on?”

    “I thought it would be a good idea to capture our honeymoon in photo.” She blinked at the smiling photographers.

    “Uh…” 

    “Come on babe. It would be a waste not to. This’ll only happen once.” Clutching her small purse to her stomach, she swallowed tightly. He was right. 

    “Okay.” He pulled her to him and kissed her temple. 

    “You look beautiful.” She felt her cheeks grow warm. 

    “You two are such a good looking couple. It would be our pleasure to take you around for a shoot.” The main photographer complemented as he eyed them, his smile friendly. 

    “Thanks… I guess I’m dressed right.” Unbeknownst to her, when she’d put on the parisian inspired dress she was not expecting a photo shoot. But somehow it all went according to somebody’s plan. 

    “Shall we?” Gripping Roto’s hand, she allowed them to lead her into the city in a way she had never before experienced. Her head spun with the intense beauty of it all and by late evening, she found herself standing on the balcony of a really expensive hotel, gazing towards the city, pink, dark violet and azure hues starting to paint the sky. The breeze picked up and rustled the delicate white lace of her dress.

    “Éthéré…” She grew still as Roto came towards her. Reaching out, he gently brushed her hair away from her back, exposed and bare. Leaning down he pressed a kiss to her shoulder and glided his fingers down the expanse of her skin. Warmth flooded her entire being and his intense gaze held her captive. The click of the shutter briefly sounded. 

    “Je te trouve très belle.”  Her mouth dropped open and she gaped at him as his arm came to loosely drape her hip. She’d never before heard him speak in French and it just about turned her legs to jelly.

    “W-what’d you say?” He pressed his forehead against hers. 

    “I find you very beautiful.” The click of the shutter sounded. His voice was warm and throaty as honey. It sent chills down her spine.

    “Roto…” He said nothing and pressed his lips against her temple.

     The shoot lasted a few more minutes and she was amazed that they had spent the entire day in front of a camera. But oh the views she’d seen…the quiet cobblestone streets and small nooks had been her favorite. She wanted to protest when his touch left her but just smiled and thanked the director as the crew began to pack up. He kissed her cheeks and shook hands with Roto. 

    “Please keep in touch Mr. Iwase. You two are special. ”

    “Thank you Alexandre. We shall.”

***

    When they’d made it back to the hotel, she had hopped in the shower, the day washing away from her. She couldn’t get the way he’d looked at her out of her mind. She knew that look and so many times before they had been forced to separate. But now… the tender and fragile intimacy between them… was it to shatter once and for all? Something about the way his fingers had touched her had her attention and wouldn’t let go.

    The water ran and the steam fogged up the glass. She sighed and pressed her forehead against the glass. Glancing down, she looked at her hand, the beautifully adorned ring sat on her finger. Smiling, she bit her lip. A knock on the door startled her from her thoughts. 

    “Y-yeah?” It was quiet for a while but his voice while soft was clear as day.

    “May I come in?” She froze, instantly growing flush. What a simple question to ask. Surely a husband should be able to share a shower with his wife. But truthfully, all of it… was making her dizzy. Taking a shaky breath, the possibilities of every outcome shot through her head and she licked her lips. Clutching her fingers into fists, she swallowed.

    “Yes.” 

 

***

    He had expected her to say no. But the softly uttered word made his palms grow moist.  For a while now, he’d been turning over and over in his mind whether he should do it. Fifteen years had passed and after all the fighting back and forth, they had arrived at a place where they no longer had to do so. Suddenly finding themselves without inhibition, he wasn’t sure what to do or how to handle it. Taking a shaky breath, he slowly opened the door to the large bathroom. She had her back turned to him and the translucency of the glass gave him a moment to look at her. He felt his knees grow weak and he exhaled slowly. She stood pressed against the wall, face hidden. Water trickled down smooth brown skin and dripped off of ample cheeks. He bit his lips. His fingers itched to touch her. He lifted shaky hands to his clothes and soon he was just as exposed as she was, his very heart on his breath. He gingerly curled fingers around the handle of the glass door and softly stepped in. For the longest time, he couldn’t speak, the reality of what was happening hitting him in waves. Don’t chicken out now. He swallowed thickly and came towards her. 

    “Rae?” She grew stiff and gripped her hands together so tight he thought they might lose color. 

    “Y-yeah?” The nervousness that dwelled in his stomach soon disappeared and he wanted more than anything for her to look at him. He reached out and lifted her cheek, slowly bringing her gaze to his. 

    “Let me see you.” She blushed, gaze dropping. Slowly she turned, breasts covered. He smiled gently, his dimples deepening.

    “Don’t be afraid to look at me.” At that, her gaze lifted and every ounce of fear and desire that radiated from her hit him. She’d been bare and naked before, so many times before and every hand that had touched her had abused and mistreated her. Somewhere that still laid in the back of her mind. He could see it. Though she trusted him… still… she wondered… what if… was there a possibility… 

    He let go of her cheek and held his hand up, palm open, fingers waiting. Touch. Slowly, she lifted a hand from her breasts and intertwined her fingers with his. He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of her hand. She took a shuddery breath and of her own accord, her other hand fell to her side, finally allowing his gaze to see her in all of her flawed entirety. He smiled again and lifted her other hand to tangle their fingers. There resting below her ribcage rested the reminder of their past…the love that still lived. He closed his eyes and took in the steady pour of the water above them, her breath and his heart. He could feel her eyes slide down his body and he let her look. Her breath had grown heavier and it was then that he opened his eyes to find her face blossom in a becoming blush. 

    “R-Roto.…”

    “Mm?” 

    “I…I…d-don’t know what to s-say…”  His lips kissed her cheek and down to her lips.

    “Then say nothing at all.” He breathed against her lips before pulling her into his arms, holding her close. Her eyes fluttered closed and she pressed flush against him, fingers digging into his back. Silence went on but the language that lied between them spoke louder than any words of the tongue. After a long while they stepped out and she shivered as the cool air hit her. He reached for a towel and wrapped it around her, holding her close. She reached up to slide the wet hair back from his face. 

    “Hiroto?”

    “Yes baby?” 

    “I love you.” 

    “I love you too.” Threading their fingers, he led them away from the bathroom, the promise of warm soft sheets ahead. 

*** 

    Is this really happening… She must have repeated the question a million times but the answer was a very real very naked man who was bringing her closer and closer to their bed. Her eyes couldn’t help but stare and she felt dizzy just looking at him. She bit her lip. He had such a strong back, the muscles relaxed.The wet strands of his hair teased the skin on his neck. His waist was slender but his body was deceiving in the strength that lied beneath the almost fragility of his slim build. Lord Jesus help me. Even the cheeks of his ass were supple but firm. By the time they had made it to their bed, her legs had lost feeling and her throat was drier than a bucket of sand. He sighed and collapsed into the sheets, water soaking into the pillow. She stood there in front of him, towel tightly wrapped around her. 

    “I feel a hell of a lot better.” 

    “Me too.” He lifted and came to sit in front of her Indian style. 

    “What’s on your mind babe?” She inhaled and little by little let the towel go until it wafted to the ground. The breath he took and the way his gaze grew intense again made her heart beat wildly but she was quiet as she slowly climbed onto the bed, reaching for him. He leaned forward, his hands pulling her closer. She hid her face against his hair as he lifted her to sit between his legs. The press of him against her was nearly maddening and it took every ounce of control within her not to move. His fingers gripped her cheeks, his breath soft against her collarbone. 

    “What’s on my mind…” Her voice was whispery and light and she wrapped arms around his shoulders. 

    “You.” The simple word brought him to life beneath her and she tightened her grip on his shoulders. 

    “I want you to have me Roto.”  His fingers left her bottom and hugged her back, soft whispers of touch. 

    “I’m not scared anymore.” She breathed against his lips, eyes meeting his. 

    “Rae…baby…” She slid fingers into his hair and kissed him. The groan that came into her mouth shifted her entire being and it crashed into her without warning, leaving her breathless and wanting more. 

    “T-This time…you don’t have to stop. We can do whatever….but make me a promise…” 

    “Anything.” 

    “Promise that you’ll make me high.” His lips collided with hers and from that moment on, her very breath belonged to him. Hunger vibrated through his entire body and the kisses he pressed to her throat left fire in its wake. He reached up and slid fingers into her hair, making their eyes meet. 

    “I promise.”  

    *** 

    The way she looked up at him took his breath away. It was as if the memories he’d held onto in the past had come into living color. So many years ago, the woman had been a girl and the trust and desire that had dwelled in her depths were met with tears and heartbreak. But all his hard work, his prayers and his love had paid off. Their fingers intertwined and he leaned down to kiss her breastbone. She was hot to the touch and smooth as butter. This time, he’d make it right. He nuzzled her cheek, adorning her with soft butterfly kisses. Her chest rose and fell against his and he couldn’t find any words to say. The thumb that glided across her bottom lip was a start. But when he finally allowed them to meet, that was more than enough.

     Reaching up, he gently gripped the smooth soft flesh of her breast before he took her  small hardened bud into his mouth. She moaned softly, arching her back. He suckled for a little while, teasing her with his tongue.

    “Hiroto…” He sighed against her as the force of her consumed him. He pulled away, his lips soon teasing the thin skin across her ribcage and down to her bellybutton. Her fingers slid into his hair and he hummed, her tips massaging his scalp. Further down, raised skin met his hands and he for a moment pressed his face against them. Flashbacks of what once was hit him one after the other, a knife screaming for bloodshed…contact with flesh. But neither the knife or the bloodshed had succeeded. Though she’d carry them the rest of her life, these wounds of victory would always serve as a triumphant reminder. No longer would they represent pain, suffering and hatred. He pressed his lips against the scars and kissed them.

    “Rae…” He whispered, bringing a blush to her cheeks. 

    “Yeah?” He looked up at her.  

    “I wanna taste you. Will you allow me that?” Cheeks red, she slid fingers down his cheek, lightly pressing them against his lips.

    “Y-you’ve been so patient… waitin for it.” She licked her lips and inhaled deeply. Slowly, she opened her legs, keeping his gaze the entire time. Her heart felt like it was gonna come out of her chest but she had grown lost in those eyes. 

    “It’s yours baby…” The blush that had been in his cheeks spread to his neck and his mouth parted slightly. For the longest time he couldn’t move. Her soul was finally bared to him and he would take damn good care of it. Mouth watering, he leaned up and pressed his lips to hers. Pressing their intertwined hands back against the sheets, his hips moved against her and she bit her lip, head falling back against the pillow. Mine. Breath slow and steady, he kissed the skin offered to him. Mine. She wrapped her arms around him and lifted her leg ever so slightly, begging him to touch, to taste, to feel. He slid hands down to stop her hips, breath now panting. Time had passed them but it had been kind. Time had allowed them to pick up the pieces to the love they had tried to forget. With this woman, now he could create the world they both wanted… needed in order to survive. 

 

 

***

     

    The desire that dwelled in his depths made his eyes stormy, arousal flushed in his cheeks. The words that formed on the tip of her tongue had died and she found herself speechless. She gently wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned up to kiss him. All the years they had waited… His fingers inched their way back toward her love, dewy with anticipation. Slowly one dipped into her, teasing her. She moaned softly, her fingers tightly gripping his wrist.His lips instantly took in the sound and he groaned against her mouth, the sound penetrating her womb. All the pain, tears and blood that had been spilt and sacrificed for this…was worth it. Fire fell like rain down her body as he stopped teasing and added another one, thrusting against her sharp and quick, taking her breath. She arched her back, the music that had lived in her spirit finally releasing itself. Her hips tried to keep up with him but soon the fire grew hotter and she couldn’t ride it out anymore. 

    “Let it come…Let it come baby…” He spoke against her, voice gentle. The feelings inside her burst free and it swept her away like a tidal wave, giving her no choice but to surrender. He quieted her moans with his lips, drinking the sounds from her as he rocked against her one last time before growing still. Their breath mingled and once they became calm, she opened her eyes to look up at him, her cheeks blazing. 

    He withdrew his fingers and for what seemed like the longest time, his eyes devoured her, his cheeks rosy and breath deep. She turned her face away, hiding it in the pillow. She couldn’t look at him…it was too much. His breath grew closer and he pressed a kiss to her neck. 

     “Don’t hide…” She bit her lip, glancing up at him. He lifted his hand and gently caressed the corner of her mouth. 

    “You’re so beautiful when you come…” 

    “R-Roto…”

    “I still feel like I’m dreaming. Are you really mine?” Her tongue darted out to swipe his fingertip and soon sucked on the fingers he provided. The almost serious expression intensified, his cheeks crimson.He leaned her back into the sheets and slid those same fingers back to grasp her thighs, gently opening her up. The heat from his nearing mouth threatened to burn her and she whimpered as he lifted her leg, not caring that she sounded so damn needy. Rae.He pressed his face against her curls for a minute, taking in her tenderly erotic energy. I want you. Her fingers hid in his hair. I need you.

    His nose pressed against the covering where underneath a small pearl lived. I wonder…if my tongue was a brush and my love the paint…where would it go? His gaze turned up and their eyes met.It’s free to go wherever. Slowly his tongue came forward to greet the small pearl that no longer wanted to play hide and seek. She slid fingers into his hair and arched her back, the sound that came from her belly a scream…a moan… both. I love you.

    “Oh God Hiroto…” I love you too. His tongue played a game with the pearl until she gave in, the pleasure sharp and swift as it led her into the deep. 

    “Hi-Hiro-roto….”  He groaned against her, fingers coming into her at once. Everything about her… it made him shatter into a million pieces. She sobbed, waves of intensity crippling her. Please. Please don’t…don’t stop…please. He hummed against her, once again using his tongue to paint his heart upon her body. With it, he coaxed her sweetly…Come for me Rae.Surrendering, she released, crying out to him. His fingers grew still and he pulled his mouth away from her with one last little suck, panting. Breath harsh and hair messy and wet, he lifted up by his arms, lips crashing into hers. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and they fell back against the covers. She kept him close, the feel of him heavy, hard and hot against her thighs.

    “I love you.” He whispered quietly,  pressing his face against her breast. She kissed his forehead, down the bridge of his nose and his jaw line.

    “I love you too.” A blush came to her cheeks as he lifted, pulling her up. 

    “You're so fucking beautiful…" He cradled her close to him, fingers drifting down her back. Nestling fingers deep in his silky strands, she pressed her forehead against his. Time moved slowly, second by second. Words were useless so it was quiet. She tilt her head back as he lifted her hair in his fingers, pulling it away from her neck. His lips kissed her offering, taking in every breath she gave. 

    “Sit tight...I'll be back okay?”  Sliding away from her, he left her for a moment.  She laid still, smiling to herself softly. Turning, she pressed her face against the pillows. Before now, no man had never made her feel this way and it had her at a loss for words. Hiroto made her feel like…like she was a rare gem, something to cherish and something never to take for granted. She relaxed some, cheeks warm. Tonight, on this beautifully lazy Parisian night, she’d show him that she felt the same way.

    She felt the bed dip suddenly, bringing her thoughts to an end. Warmth covered her like a blanket and slow languid lips clothed her in an upward ascent up her body. Lovingly, hands took hold of her cheeks adorning every inch of them he could with kisses. Biting her lip, she inhaled slowly as he began to kiss up her back. He was quiet, choosing to let his touch speak what his words could not.Their lips met at last. Pressing against her bottom, he joined their fingers above her. She breathed against his lips, the feel of him against her awakening the river within. He lifted her up, pulling her back against him. 

    “Baby…” He spoke quietly against her, hands coming to squeeze her breasts. 

    “Yeah?” 

    “We’ve been apart for so long.” His breath was calm and she drowned in the intensity of his gaze as he grazed her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. 

    “Let’s become one… “ Slowly, he came into her, taking her breath. She moaned loudly, gripping his hair. Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh God. He groaned against her, breath now gasping.Those big hands of his sent searing heat into her skin and for a minute, they didn’t move. In that moment she finally understood why all those bitches of his past lined up wantin some. She knew she’d never be the same after this. Never again. Fingers tightly wrapped around him, she couldn't help the tiny little whimpers and moans that came from her as he began to tease her, slowly growing deeper in his dive.

    She answered his hips with her own, asking him for more... begging him for more. His fingers came to mesh with hers and his gentle gait instantly turned rocky, the strength of the tide crashing into her. A half moan, half scream drifted across the airwaves and her body grew weak. He felt so damn good... She leaned forward, bowing beneath him. He paused, holding her still. Fingers drifted to her hair and it overflowed from them. He pulled it up away from her face. 

    “This is how I've dreamt of you.” He leaned down over her, pressed flush against her.            

 “Now it’s real…you’re real.” His lips kissed her shoulder. Crushing her gently into the sheets, he gave her what she had so sweetly asked him for, colliding with her until it left her breathless. Their lips met and she lost touch with time and space, only he mattered. As long as he stayed inside of her she felt she could live, breathe, exist. The force of him literally shook her and she trembled against him as he breathed one request, rumbled against her in a groan. 

    “Come for me sweetheart…” Her body gave in to him, allowing its submission to take her over.     

    “That’s it baby… let me have it.” His fingers slipped across her jaw and he pulled her lips to his as she took in the last few pumps of his hips before he too grew still, groaning against her. She panted against his mouth, desperate for the sweet butterfly kisses he pressed against her. When she finally felt she could move, she looked up at him, cheeks hot as coals of fire. She found his cheeks flushed with color but his gaze intensely tender and loving. Nuzzling her cheek, he kept her close as he pulled them to lay to the side. 

     “I love you.”  He whispered against her, hands around her waist. She welcomed his kiss, moaning her reciprocation.

    “I-I love you too baby…” Arms wrapped around her, keeping her safe and warm. A long leg glided across hers keeping her put. He sighed deeply, shielding his face in her hair. With a gasp, she let him pull himself out of her body.  Fingers tangled in sheets, she barely silenced the want for him to stay. Not yet.He came back and and leaned down over her, kissing her deeply. She reached up to wrap her arms around him and he slid in between her legs. Pressing his face against her chest, he relaxed as her legs held him tight.  The scent of their love lingered on the wind and the lights of Paris blazed through the rainy night sky. Closing his eyes, he smiled against her as she kissed his forehead. The thrum of her heart lulled him to sleep. 

 

***

    “I should go.” Deep brown eyes pulled her in and she could see the fight within them. Her heart pounded against her chest and she gently lifted hands to tighten in his silky soft strands. 

    “I don’t want you to.” His thin shirt had been taken off and a white crew neck shirt clothed him. The cool air from the fan dried the the sweat of the humid day from their skin. Quiet and alone. She knew it was a bad idea letting him come inside. Minako was at work and she had finished school early. But she was weak around him.

    “I have to.” He pulled her fingers out of his hair to her dismay and she slowly sat up, watching as he put on his other shirt. 

    “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have kissed you…That’s what started this…” He pushed his hair back from his face and turned to face her. 

    “If I don’t go right now…if I stay…” 

    “We’ll make a mistake.” He licked his lips. 

    “I know I say that all the time but I mean it. If I have you before I’m meant to, I’ll never forgive myself.” She felt her cheeks grow hot.

    “Hiroto…”

    “The world calls it sex… just meaningless pointless sex…but with you…From the follicles of your hair to the bottom of your feet… I want to love you. I want to take my time. That will take time and by the end of it all, you’ll own me in soul, body and spirit. We haven’t gotten there yet. So…I want us to wait… until it’s time.” 

    “Y-yeah…I…I agree.” 

    “I’m sorry.”

    “N-no….don’t be.” He gripped the sheets on each side of her. 

    “I’ll catch you later…okay?”

    “Mmkay…” Taking a shaky breath, she leaned up to kiss him, fingering the collar of his shirt. He hummed against her lips but pulled away before the kiss could deepen. Without another word, he left her sitting on her bed, tightly gripping the sheets.


End Notes:

** Edited August 1st, 2019. The intimate scene has been extended**

 

A/N: ....WHEW.....I am actually speechless like... I don't know where to start first.... I...wow...I guess I should start by saying that the time a lot of you (more than half of you lol) been waitin for is HERE lol. MY BABIES DON GOT DOWN WITH THE GET DOWN LOL. It got REAL, GROWN and SEXY in here lol. In all seriousness, I paused so many times lol. Like... prayed to God like Lord help me get it together. Had to take breaks, drink me some water and continue on. I wanted this to be special because Rae and Roto aren't just anybody and their love isn't ordinary. Sex is very easy to write and for the longest time, I wrote it well. But, making love... writing love making was something I struggled to do. It required me to involve God in my writing process (Imagine that!!). I had (have) to get with God to keep me in line... keep me focused. I had to come to terms with the fact that love making was not wrong... being a creation of God Himself. But rather, unmarried people "love making" was the problem. Now, I ain't married but I have read Song of Solomon and Galatians in the Bible and when I tell you that marital love and intimacy is the best there is... that's straight Bible. (for real, it says it exactly.) There is a beauty in a husband and a wife expressing the love they feel in a deeper, more spirtual way like this. I wanted Rae and Roto's first time to be and read as poetry...living poetry. 

Okay... now I'm gon get goofy again lol. WHEW. Lawdy lawd I tell y'all....I about cried and melted all at the same time LOL. Roto put it downnnnnnn for a sista and went to WORK! To think I got two more chapters planned! GIRL BYE. Everything about it was beautiful... simply beautiful. I have some pictures/gifs used as inspiration for the chapter and outfits! <3 Man... do y'all know how long it took me to make this chapter poster?! First of all, the site I was using (Photobucket) to edit and copy link to put all the beautiful pictures y'all saw decided they wanted to be a jerk and make it so if I (and anyone else) want to "3rd party host" off they site, we (I) gotta pay $400 dollars (I kid you not folks...ya heard it right) just to be able to do so! I been using Photobucket for YEARS and it really made it hard for me. Until, I can afford to use the site again, I will warn you now... my works may not have pictures or visuals... it hurts cause y'all know I'm a visionary person so I have to SEE IT first. But yeah... <3 I went through gifs and everything else but when I saw the picture of Sakaguchi lookin like this I was like okay that's how I imagine desire looking on Hiroto's face. I hope y'all have enjoyed this short novel of an author's note lol.... I'm tired and actin like I ain't gotta be to work later on today. *sigh* I hope you enjoy the chapter! I'm pretty sure there might be some grammatical errors... I try to be perfect that way but I fail most of the time lol. I love you guys and will see you soon! God bless! <3 

D&L <3

 

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Rae's outfits 

 

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Roto's outfits: 

 

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The So.u.nd by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

 

    It was all a blur. From the touch of hands to the laughter that flowed freely from the stream within. Love never felt like this before. Fresh. Deep. New. Gentle always and never harsh. This was what some people waited their entire lives for and never found. On a level beyond skin, touch and taste, rather sometimes the only thing worthy to describe it was sound.      

 

*** 

    The sound of a streetcar below rattled two still made one by way of limb and breath. It pierced the otherwise subtle quiet within and in the disturbance, fingers still danced across planes of bare skin. So rudely interrupted were the man’s dreams and full of her they were. The radiance that emanated from her being set to consume him once again. In the space, not even the tick of the clock nearby or the sudden horns that occasionally blared in the morning day would be able to separate them. And a blur once again ensued…again and again until it seemed sound and time merged into something quite wondrous. Day turned into night into day once more.

***

    The morning sun filtered in through the doors and fell upon tangled limbs. The woman slowly opened her eyes. Intensity met her gaze as colors blazed around her. She found herself pressed against a warm chest, an arm lazily around her hip, lax and comfortable. Cheeks growing warm, she turned her eyes up to glance at the man who held her. His hair was messy, covering his eyes. Mouth slightly open, his chest rose and fell softly. He was sleeping so deeply. Slowly, she pulled away from him, the soft silky sheets falling away from her body. The cool morning air rushed to greet her and she shivered, wrapping arms around herself. 

     Coming to stand outside on the balcony, she gripped the rails. All of it still felt like a dream. But the yearning that dwelled between her legs certainly wasn’t. Glancing back towards the bed, her cheeks grew warm. What had happened in the past two days was definitely real. In that time love had without a doubt been made. So selfless, he gave her more than she could handle and together they had traveled up into the stars. Finally, their own special place where just the two of them could live. It slightly unnerved her but she welcomed, needed and treasured all of it. 

    Facing the city, she looked down to find the streets below empty and quiet. She now understood just where his sonnets came from. For it seemed nothing but poetry now lived on her tongue. Without warning, arms came around her and pulled her against a solid body. Startled, she grew still with a sharp inhale. 

    “Morning…” Voice gruff with sleep, lips pressed against her ear. At the rich timbre, instantly her heart skipped a beat. So quiet, she didn’t hear him get up. Nearly melting into him, she lifted a hand and caressed his cheek, shock gone. 

    “Mornin sleepy head.”  His lips turned into a smile as the strands of his hair teased her fingers.

    “You’re up early…” 

    “Paris woke me up…” His lips drifted down past her ear to press lightly against hers. 

    “Come back to bed.” The first mistake was meeting his gaze. The intensity within his eyes rivaled the sudden flash of amber as the sun breezed past them. She took a shaky breath and forced herself to look away. The damage had already been done. 

    “I’m surprised you ain’t hungry…” His fingers slowly slid down her stomach and held her close, nestled in between her legs. 

    “Oh that I am. But I don’t want anything but this.” She took a shaky breath, heat flushing her skin.

    “You just plain greedy…” The famed Iwase grin answered her and even in his quite sleepy stupor he managed to bring her dreamworld crashing into real life. Biting her lip,  she turned to face him. Their lips met as he gently lifted her into his arms and led her back to their secret garden where only the two could play. 

*** 

    Eyes stared at the reflection in the mirror and for a while he could do nothing but stare, mind trying to make sense of the glow that seemed to emit from him. He remembered a time when looking into the glass surface brought disdain. Time and time again he had found himself looking and feeling so unhappy. Lifting fingers to glide through much less unruly hair, he smiled to himself. Now the feeling within his heart matched the way he looked. 

     “Baby?” Her voice called from the bedroom. 

    “Coming sweetheart.” He took one last look at himself and smiled before turning to exit the bathroom. Upon setting sight on her, he felt his cheeks grow rosy. Dressed in a comfortable cropped sweatshirt and jeans, he found her incredibly radiant. She too like him glowed like a light bulb and it felt damn good to know he put it there. Her face was bare, fresh and clean and all of that gorgeous hair of hers had pulled into two large puffs, the smell of coconut wafted across his nose.    

    “You ready to hit the town Roto?” 

    “Oui Mademoiselle.” 

    “Lookit you thinkin you fancy withcho French and alla that. Showoff.”  He grinned and playfully stuck out his tongue at her. 

    “Looks like I’ll have to teach you French hm?”

    “Yeah yeah…” Lips pursed, she took him in. 

    “You look really handsome.” 

    “Thank you ma belle.” He came to slide hands around her waist. 

    “I don’t know about you but I’m starving…”

    “Yes lawd…let’s go before my stomach throws a fit.” 

    “Lead the way.”

 

***

    The way he loves me is so pure and each time I think about it it makes my heart soar. His intensity is sometimes too much and most of the time I can’t look at him. The adoration that lies in his heart lives in the fingertips that caress me. It gives me chills that someone could love me this way. He doesn’t hide what he feels and it vibrates throughout his entire body. Love with him is beyond the stars… beyond the planets…it’s transcendent. If his intention is to worship me then I let my voice sing praises of my own right back to him. 

***

    Looking up, she watched as the man across from her lifted a cup of tea to his mouth. A couple hours into their excursion, they had found themselves a small charming cafe in a part of the city she knew neither the name or location to. Fingers stilled, the pen stopping. She hoped Roto remembered how to get back cause she didn’t like being lost as it was. Sighing, she focused her gaze back onto her husband. Deciding it was too hot, he had pulled his hair back from his face, fastened with a tie. He had let it grow quite long… she was surprised he hadn’t gotten it cut yet. Surely, before they returned to Shoutoii, he’d do somethin about it. But, personally…she liked it. All about structure, principle and order, something as simple as his hair growing out meant he was letting loose the way he should. Shoutoii could be so demanding.

    “What’s up babe?” He asked quietly, eyes still on the pages of the book he held. 

    “Nothin.” His eyes lifted, warmth within them.

    “Something’s on your mind.” 

    “I’m just thinkin bout how carefree you look. That’s all.” He pulled the book away from his face and laid it flat against the top of the table. 

    “It’s been a long while hasn’t it?” She leaned forward, gently intertwining their pinkies. 

    “Yeah…” His finger tightened on hers. 

    “I’m glad we’re here babe. The both of us needed to relax some.”

    “Mmhm.”

    “I always know when you’re deep in thought. You stare so intensely.” She smiled to herself. 

    “Sometimes I just like lookin at you. I take notes.” His eyes met hers again. 

    “Of what?” 

    “Everything.” His eyebrow lifted.

    “I see.” She pulled her pinky away and sat up straighter, lightly brushing the pages of her yet unfinished journal entry. 

    “I’ma be honest…. I be writin poetry bout you. And I wonder just how it would sound if spoken.” Neatly folding the book he placed it down.

    “I think it would sound intense.” 

    “You think so?”

    “I know so.” He leaned back in his chair. 

    “I imagine it would sound otherworldly, a sound unlike anything anyone has ever heard before. Deeply emotive, surely it would captivate audiences around the world.” She blushed, watching as he placed his elbows on the table, leaning forward. 

    “For example, take the beautiful notes that arise from your lips when we are intimate. They must be but small parts to a much greater symphony waiting to be made.” Her mouth dropped open. He chuckled at her silence. 

    “I guess you can say I too am taking notes hm?” He playfully winked at her. 

    “Well played homie. Wellll played.” The chuckle was back and he grinned. 

    “Okay enough of that. I’m hungry.”    

    “I know you are.”

    “And I know you ready to eat a cow so I say we go see what they have to eat.”

    “Let’s go.…” As he stood, he couldn’t help stealing a kiss, smiling as the blush warmed her cheeks. Sifting through the delightful smell of coffee and baking bread, up ahead in a small window were many displays of breads, sandwiches and pastries. Time to chow…

    ***

    “Hello! Can I get you anything?” Rae blinked at the young woman who had walked up to them and looked up at him, her face screaming HELP. He bit back a chuckle and cleared his throat. 

    “Hello. Can you help us with your menu? We are visiting from another country.”  She smiled politely. 

    “Sure! On one side we offer freshly made sandwiches, salads and bagels. In the middle we have our coffee drinks and to the left we have our pastry list. We even offer ice cream here!”     

    “Uh….Roto what she sayin?” 

    “Ah…she is explaining the menu to us. On the left they have sandwiches, salads and bagels. In the middle they have their coffee and expresso drinks and on the right they have pastries.” 

    “Ohhh… okay. What you thinkin bout gettin?”

    “I’m thinking about the French Onion soup.” He pointed where it was and she swallowed, clearly overwhelmed by the amount of French on the boards. 

    “Do they have croissant sandwiches?” He skimmed the menu briefly before nodding. 

    “Ham and Cheese, Chicken Salad, Egg Salad, Turkey or Roast Beef.” She hummed, biting her lower lip.     

    “Can’t go wrong with Chicken Salad. I take that one… please make sure they put mayo and tomato on it.” He nodded and ordered their food. Finding their seats once more, she slid fingers through his.

    Sooner than later, a waitress warmly greet them and made sure to pile their entire table with food. He didn’t remember ordering this much but by the flush that had taken to the woman’s cheeks, she had recognized him. With a sigh, he smiled at her and bowed his head slightly. 

    “Thank you miss.”

    “On behalf of our humble cafe it’s the least we can do Mr. Iwase.”

    “It’s kind enough for you to allow us in. Truly.” 

    “If you need anything at all, please let me know. I’m Majorie.” 

    “I shall. Thank you” Rae watched her walk away, lips pursed. 

    “Damn. Even married you get hit on.” He choked on some water and glanced at her, cheeks hot. 

    “That’s okay. We both know who you sleepin next to at night.” With a smirk, he left it undisputed and dug in. 

***

    After hours of play and a nice long shower, they had gotten settled in front of the large picturesque backdrop of the Eiffel Tower. Arms tight around her, he sighed against her shoulder. My, had they had a full day. His legs surely didn’t mind reminding him of that and he knew he’d have to get his morning run in. 

    “Babe?” 

    “Hm?” 

    “What do you think of Paris?” He took a thoughtful breath and looked upon the dusky sky and all the people still blazing with an electrically tangible energy. 

    “It’s simply out of this world.”

    “Mm…”

    “Truly fascinating.”

    “What do you find fascinating?” He smiled against her. 

    “When I was younger, I came here to study. Along with the love of the language came the love of the food and culture.”

    “I see.”

    “Japan has had a long standing history with France so I assume it was influenced by that as well.” 

    “Oh really?”

    “Mm. France had quite a big influence on Japanese life, history, cuisine, everything…even still today…if you pay close enough attention you can see the remnants.” She had turned to look at him. 

    “I ain’t know that… that’s cool.”     

    “I think so too.” He said with a small chuckle; wonder alive in her gaze. 

    “What do you think of Paris? Thus far.” 

    “I think it’s breathtaking.” 

    “Ah..”

    ‘I’ve been in love with this city since I was 15.”

    “What about it do you love?”

    “I know that France as a whole has good and bad influence when it comes to people of color….but….I can’t help but get lost in the dreamy aspects of it… while not denying the other stuff. I just want to enjoy it as it is…free and uninhibited.” 

    “Mm…” He slowly let her go and lifted his arms above him in a stretch. 

    “I’m so glad you’re enjoying yourself baby.”

    “You bet your butt I am! I’m kinda sad we gotta leave soon.”

    “Me too.” She took a deep breath and slowly reached for his hand. 

    “I don’t know bout you but I don’t think it’d be right unless we spent some time in the Word. Whatchu think?”  She yelped as he suddenly grabbed her and hauled her back into their suite. 

    “DANG WATCH WHERE YOU GOIN!” Rich laughter filled the place and soon not a sound but rather the presence of the Spirit of God permeated through the air. 

 

*** 

    The Lord had steered them different, a book never before explored and she began to understand why.  Song of Solomon. Glancing up at her husband whose cheeks had grown a boyish pink, she bit back a smile. Now that they had both tested the waters in the area of intimacy, it was only right that they be grounded in the marital love between them. As he read the some of the first chapter, his fingers gently teased hers. 

    “Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth, where thou feedest, where thou makest thy flock to rest at noon: for why should I be as one that turneth aside by the flocks of thy companions? If thou know not, O thou fairest among women, go thy way forth by the footsteps of the flock, and feed thy kids beside the shepherds' tents. I have compared thee, O my love, to a company of horses in Pharaoh's chariots. Thy cheeks are comely with rows of jewels, thy neck with chains of gold. We will make thee borders of gold with studs of silver. While the king sitteth at his table, my spikenard sendeth forth the smell thereof. A bundle of myrrh is my well-beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts. My beloved is unto me as a cluster of camphire in the vineyards of Engedi. Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes. Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green. The beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters of fir.” 

    The sound of his voice made her insides warm and her spirit catch on fire and she determined that for the rest of the study, he would be the one reading. Such a melodic voice, his timbre made the poetry within that much more poignant. She hadn’t even realized that she had closed her eyes, a soft smile on her face or that he was now speaking to her. 

    “Rae?” Eyes snapped open and she looked at him, humor radiating in his eyes. 

    “Huh?” 

    “Were you listening?” 

    “Oh heck yes! You made it sound like a dream.” His blush deepened and he cleared his throat. 

    “A-ah…I have a question…”

    “Shoot.”

    “Why is there something like this in the Bible? It’s almost erotic.” She squeezed his hand. 

    “Is that bad?” He looked up at her. 

    “Hm?” 

    “Is having something sexual in the Bible bad?” He shifted his legs and took a deep breath. 

    “I…I am not sure… I never thought anything like it would be in the Holy Bible.” 

    “Lemme ask you this… If God created man and woman…created the very act and intention of what we know of as sex… why do you think it wouldn’t be in His Word, breathed by His very breath and Spirit?” For a moment, he blinked and thought about it, the gears in his mind turning. Indeed, it was something to think about. 

    “I never thought of it like that before.” She giggled and sat up straighter. 

    “I wondered why the Holy Spirit led us here… to this book. But now it makes sense.”

    “Mm?”

    “Mmhm. When you think about it…in the beginning before the fall of Man there was just Adam and Eve…and the two of them were free and connected so intricately with their Creator. He made them to be naked and with that came a reason only He knows. In their nakedness, I believe it reflected their relationship with Him… open, loving and hiding nothing. Their love, affection and devotion for only Him to see. With this all, He gave them a gift, another creation of his to be shared and experienced alone by the two of them.” She looked up from her Bible to meet eyes and ears that were all hers. 

    “Go on.” She squeezed his hand again. 

    “I think that this time and this moment is made even more special because we’ve allowed ourselves to accept the gift. It just makes me more appreciative and grateful of the Lord.” The soft smile that came across his lips was radiant and the light within shined through. 

    “I couldn’t agree more. I’m even more excited to learn more about the Father through His word. He’s definitely surprised me thus far.” Happiness lit up within her and she lifted his hand to her lips. 

    “He’s definitely got a lot more in store for us… believe that.” 

***

 

 

    Face pressed against the deep line that traveled down her back, he sighed as the morning while still dark beckoned him to awaken. She was so warm and he didn’t want to get up. Sighing again heavily, he brushed his nose against her skin and slowly pulled away from her. Deeply frowning, he dragged himself out of bed and with a lazy hand ran fingers through messy bed head. He’d been indulging in both his wife and the city affairs and his body had no problem scolding him. Right. He wouldn’t feel completely together unless he had. Heading into the bathroom, he got ready despite his desire to crawl back into bed. Pulling his hair up into a small ponytail, he tightened up his shoe laces. Time to go. 

 

    *** 

    Her alarm clock blared, making her jump nearly to the ceiling. With a loud frustrated sigh, she grabbed her phone and quickly shut it off. Groaning, she sank back into the warmth of the duvet. She’d forgotten to turn off the damned thing and it had nearly gave her a heart attack. Tossing the phone away from her, she yawned. Rubbing her eyes, she sat up, covers sliding away from her. Room was empty but she could smell the faint scent of his shower gel. Stretching, she slowly got out of bed and made her way into the bathroom. He must have gone out runnin.         Sliding fingers through her hair, she got up and stretched. There wasn’t no point in lazying around so she might as well get up. So early in the morning, he stomach wasted no time in growling and she glanced down at it with pursed lips. Greedy. Just plain greedy. Hadn’t even let the rest of her body wake up. That was a damn shame. 

    Sighing, she went into the bathroom and started the shower. Inhaling the scent of Roto’s gel, she smiled as she lifted fingers to scratch her scalp. It was bout that time again. She’d need to wash her hair again. She closed her eyes and let the warmth of the water soothe her. She wondered when he’d be back. A warm pool flowed between her legs instantly and she bit her lip. Okay she knew that this intimacy thing was brand spankin new between them and all but she found it sad that the mere thought of him made her go coo coo for cocoa puffs. Smiling to herself, she lifted hands to hug herself loosely. Even so, what existed between them was beautiful and she knew she’d never get enough. And that was all right. 

    From the looks of it, it looked like it was gonna be a bright sunny day and she was ready to do some more exploring so she hoped he made it back before then. 

 

 

***

    Quietly, he opened the door and stepped in. Was she still asleep? Licking his lips, he turned the small corner to find her very much awake, leaning on the balcony of their suite. The morning breeze drifted in through the open doors and he took a deep breath of it. 

    “Morning.” At the sound of his voice, she turned. 

    “Mornin baby.” He smiled, slowly coming to stand next to her. 

    “How do you feel?” She blushed but met his gaze. 

    “I feel alright. Glad you’re back. How was your run?” He tousled his hair. 

    “Lovely. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Her blush intensified. 

    “Yeah that makes two of us.” His fingers glided across her hip. 

    “Did you sleep well?” She turned and pressed her face against his chest. 

    “Mmhm.” 

    “Good.” He closed his arms around her and she lifted her fingers and balled them up in his shirt. 

    “Are you hungry?” She asked, her voice light and airy. 

    “Starved.” 

    “Well, it’s still early enough to grab breakfast.” He pressed a kiss to her temple. 

    “Why don’t you get dressed and we’ll go see what we can get.”

    “On it now!. Mama needs some eggs.”

 

***

 

    Visions of her seem to haunt me. What once was a dream… designed to torture me in cruelty now has become sweet reality. The rich and smooth texture of her and I create a very complex and yet delicate piece suitable only for the two of us. How strange that I too feel now like Solomon, every breath and sign that escapes her a litany which I must time and time again recite until it becomes permanently inscribed on the surface of both heart and body. Oh, this woman in whom the sun delights, the moon adores and owner of the authority to bring me lovingly into submission. No wonder Death tried to claim her, even I. She has a force can move mountains, shift seas and encourage life, peace and change. Coupled with mine, we are unstoppable. 

 

***

    “Damn, you forgot all of us back home huh?” Chuckling, he stood alone on the balcony, phone in one hand, small glass of wine in another. 

    “Trust me, you are the last people I’m thinking of currently.” Tobu chortled. 

    “You don’t have to say any more my man. I read you loud and clear.”

    “Mm.”

    “I  have been waiting for this day for God knows how long. Now that it’s happened, I can say that now I can die a happy man.”

    “So dramatic To-chan.”

    “I’ll take whatever you wanna call it. Dramatic or not, I can live with it.” The two men shared a laugh. 

    “How is she?”

    “She’s doing fine. We both are.”

    “You sound good Hiroto-kun. You sound different.” He blinked. 

    “Do I?”

    “Yeah. Can’t explain it but you just sound changed…fresh.”

    “Ah..thank you..”

    “That good lovin did it.”

    “Tobu…” 

    “How’s Paris?”

    “You’ll have to come with me next time and find out yourself.”

    “Soon as I can get away from the job it’s a date.” He sighed and leaned against the railing. 

    “How long have you been working for that company To-chan?” 

    “Too long and still I feel like I’ve gotten nowhere.” 

    “Have you considered a company like mine?” 

    “I thought I explained to you that business world and I don’t mix Hiroto…”

    “Yeah and it all sounds like excuses. You don’t think you can succeed?” His friend sighed deeply into the phone and it was a little while before he spoke. 

    “I don’t know Hiro.”

    “You will never know unless you try Tobu. You’re a talented guy who has a lot to offer the world. Frankly speaking, the company you’ve been working for has under appreciated you and you deserve better.” He could almost see him run fingers through his hair and smiled to himself. 

    “You’re right. I don’t wanna be in the same place forever. I’m not getting any damn younger and I want to make a life for myself and for the future I want.”

    “Alright then. That’s the Tobu I know. When Rae and I come back, we’ll talk more about it. Even if you decide Shoutouii isn’t the company for you, we can most certainly work something out for you.”

    “I don’t want you doing me any favors just because we’re friends. I wanna earn my shit Hiroto-kun.”

    “Heard.”

    “Alright then it’s settled. I guess I should let you go.”

    “Talk to you soon mm?”

    “Mm.” 

 

***

 

    Outside the same cozy little cafe they’d come to the previous day, she read through her little translation book she’d purchased right before the trip. She was determined this time to ask for herself; not depend on Hiroto to do it. Even though she understood that he was fluent in more languages than her, it bugged her that everywhere they went she couldn’t speak for herself. Alone, she read through some suggested phrases in the food section. Roto had decided to go meet some friends he knew in the city and she stayed behind to get some experience. It was a nice change of pace being by herself. Yes, this was their honeymoon but being all up under and over each other 24/7 wasn’t something she wanted to do. She liked that he respected her need for freedom and she gave him his as well. Comfortable enough to be apart and wise enough to know when to come back together, they paired real nice. Perhaps it had to do with their age but the younger couples seemed to suffocate each other with the constant need for attention. 

    Smiling to herself, she flipped to the next page. She definitely could understand it. There once was a time when she only wanted to go to school just to see him, breathe him and be by him. She couldn’t imagine life being apart from him. What a pure hearted puppy love. 

    Her phone ringing was what drew her attention away from the book. Glancing at the number, she blinked. Amee? She answered, hoping and praying nothing was wrong.

    “Hey A…what’s wrong?” 

    “Nothin! I hope I haven’t interrupted anything!” She put the book down on the table.

    “No…I’m just chillin at a local cafe.” 

    “Oh…where Hiroto?”

    “Meetin some of his friends.”

    “Oh… why you alone?”

    “Cause Roto and I ain’t bout to be smothering each other just cause we on our honeymoon.”

    “Oh.”

    “What’s up?” 

    “Well I been thinkin bout y’all and wanted to see how y’all was doin. Y’all enjoyin y’all trip?” 

    “Yesss. Paris is perfect… like in the movies.”

    “Word?”

    “It’s truly beautiful.” 

    “Aww….”

    “You and Tre make it back home safe?” 

    “Yeah. Things are back to the same ol same ol.”

    “Good. I woulda thought you and Tre woulda stayed in Kyoto another day or two.”

    “Can’t say we ain’t think about it. But see the way our funds set up neither one of us could afford to change the flight date so we hopped on that big bird back to the Big Apple.”  She laughed, bringing a small cup to her lips.

    “I’m glad y’all made it back safe. I been meanin to call and check up on y’all but you know…”

    “Mmhm you ain’t gotsta explain.” She felt her cheeks grow warm and cleared her throat. 

    “Ma and nem still pissy bout the no invite thing. “ She pursed her lips. 

    “They got their nerve. They ain’t got nobody to be mad at but themselves.”

    “I’m still not over that mess. Tre don’t want anything to do with them and neither do I. Since we been back, we only been over they house once or twice and that was for Erica.” 

    “Hm.” 

    “Speakin of Tremaine here he come now.” She grinned as the voice of her brother could be heard. 

    “IS THAT NUG?”

    “Yeah boy keep it down! Gon blow her ear off!” She snickered loudly. 

    “Ebbie you should see him, he cheesin mad hard.” 

    “Hey Tre!”

    “AYE WHAT’S GOOD BABY GIRL? TELL MY MANS I SAID WHAT’S UP!” She pulled the phone back and sucked her teeth.     

    “Tre you gon blast my ear off with all that yellin. Chill out.”

    “My bad…” 

    “I think it’s ironic that you love you some Hiroto now.”

    “That’s my nigga aiight?”

    “I member just yesterday you wanted to beat his ‘Japanese ass’” Tre coughed, bringing a chuckle from Amee. 

    “Aye that’s in the past now. I found out he a good dude. Therefore, Nug, Hiro and I cool now.” 

    “Mm.”

    “He gon have to come back to New York and everything so we can chill man to man.” 

    “I’m sure he gon be lookin forward to that.”

    “Look here I gotta run but in all seriousness…I’m glad y’all together.” Her heart warmed. 

    “Thank you Tre…”

    “Aiight. I’m gone!”

    “Bye!” Soon Amee returned solo. 

    “Girl he happy he got him a bomb ass brotha-in-law. Hiroto and him bouta be like brothas from another mother in a minute watch.”

    “Yeah add Tobu to the mix and that’s a brotherhood for ya.”

    “Oh yeah that fine friend of Hiro’s. Yeah he can come to New York too. I show him around real nice.”

    “Nawl you won’t. You gon stick yo claws in him and I ain’t gon have that.” She could almost see the pout she was sure was on Amee’s face. 

    “Damn you such a mother hen over that man. Can’t do nothin.”

    “Ya damn right.”

    “Hm and to think I called tryna be a responsible sister since somebody forgot how.” She playfully sucked her teeth. 

    “Listen, I been busy okay? I gotta man to spend time with and a whole city to digest.” 

    “Mmhm and I trust that quality time been aiight with my mans?” She grinned. 

    “See there you go bein nosy.”

    “I ain’t bein nosy! I’m just askin a question…” 

    “I ain’t givin no details. But know this… it’s special.” 

    “I dig and respect that Ebbie! Do ya thing!”

    “Thank you.”

    “And uh I’m sure you know them paparrazi folks back in Japan gon be all up in ya grill when they find out y’all jumped the broom. You prepared for that?”

    “I’m as prepared as I’m gonna get. Them folks gon learn to stay out married folks business.” 

    “Ayeeee.” 

    “Enough of that…when you and Tre comin back out Japan’s way?” Amee sighed. 

    “I don’t know yet. I gotta plan and save for that. We come up with somethin. Maybe try to get Lee back out that way too.” 

    “Yeah I miss both y’all already.”

    “Hana in too. I like her. She a cool chick.” 

    “Now we talkin. I’m down for that.” Her phone buzzed and she glanced at it. Roto. 

    “Hey A, Roto on the other line… I call you back.”

    “Okay I ain’t want nothin… you gon back to enjoyin your honeymoon.” 

    “I will babe.”

    “Love you.”

    “Love you too. Have a great night.”

    “Night.” Clicking over, she answered Roto. 

    “Hey babe.”

    “Hey. Are you all right?”

    “Yeah I’m cool. Chillin and readin.”

    “Ah…”

    “You was worried?”

    “Just a tad. I have to make sure mon amour is okay.”

    “Aw yeah I’m just fine sug. What you into?”

    “Nothing much. Catching up with a friend from college.”

    “Oh snap how is he doin?”

    “Good! Perhaps a business merge could come of this little meeting.”

    “OOH! I smell expansion yet again!” He laughed deeply, bringing a smile of her own to her face. 

    “So uplifting…thank you Rae.”

    “That’s what I’m here for bae. Gon handle yo business.” 

    “Mm.”

    “In a little while I’m gon head back to the spot. Text you when I’m back.” 

    “Okay. See you later on.” 

    “Kay babe.”

 

***

 

    It was all moving so terribly fast and the ride was proving to be worth it. Their future bright as the sun, she wondered if the world they were creating for themselves could merge with the existing one. Even a bit. In such a short time, they had grown even more and she wondered if the world would appreciate it… appreciate them. Sighing, she began to pack up her belongings. Maybe as time went on they could merge. For now, she wouldn’t think too much about the outside world. For now as always, she would allow God to lead Roto and her in the right path… in the right way. For now, she’d let sound speak louder than her voice. After all, le son est tout simplement un accord d’un seul esprit à un autre.

End Notes:

 

A/N: This chapter was inspired by musicality and one of (many) favorite books of the Bible... Song of Solomon. I never thought a book like that would be in the Bible and it amazed me how beautifully poetic it is. I tried if you will to almost create R&R's own S of S with their poetry haha. Rae and Roto are literally like..... MY FAVORITE COUPLE EVA LOL! OMG I JUST ADORE THEM! THEY SO CUTE OMG! SO SO SO CUTE! Okay *ahem* lol. This note gon be real short and brief cause I didn't get much sleep last night and I need to sleep lol. SO! lol. Translation to the end is as so: (the sound is simply a chord of one spirit to another). I have more planned for these two...Anywhoo, I'm going to stop rambling and go to sleep...If there are errors PLEASE LET ME KNOW! I love you all and it was truly a pleasure to write this chapter! Rae and Roto are my BABIESSSSSSSSSS and they are growing together so beautifully. Sonnets await...

Till next time, 

God bless you! 

Sunhalo17 <3 

 

PICTURES: 

Rae's outfits (I REALLY wish there were more pictures of Natasha Kalos available lol)

 

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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

 

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

 

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Roto's outfits: 

Sakaguchi Kentaro in one of his looks: 

 

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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

A/N: Reflection by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

Very random little note lol.  

Why I feel like sharing this is beyond me but I feel led to. Okay so here goes... *takes deep breath* (btw, this is EXTREMELY personal, I’ve never shared it with anyone and yet... here I am bout to type it on a global platform 😣)

 

I am scared to date. I’ve never physically dated anybody before (online once and it wasn’t a bad relationship but it was steeped in sexual things so it didn’t last long) and I put up the CITY OF JERICHO wall around myself any time a man expresses interest.

 

Why you may ask? Well...simple. I don’t want a man to ever get SO close to me that he has the chance to hurt me the same way or worse than my biological father did. Him not being there crushed me as a child and I grew up not trusting men at all.

 

So...*takes another breath* Yeah. There it is. I’m scared of being hurt so I don’t allow myself to be open and vulnerable. But... the beautiful thing is... even though I am scared of men in the world hurting me... I never EVER fear that God the Father would ever hurt me. So... I’ve gotten to know Him and pray I never stop.

 

Who knows why I’m typin all this and now I feel like cryin lol. Sooo.... hope that helped someone. I love Jesus Christ yes. I am a Christian unashamedly yes. But I am NOT nor will I ever be perfect. Yes, I struggle too. And YES I hurt too.

 

Soooooo yeah y'all might be askin "Uh... so what does this have to do with the story and GIRL WHERE IS MY UPDATE lol. If you haven't noticed, writing has remained a therapy for me and through it (and other things) I believe that God has healed me of a lot. <3 Rae is an extention of me and in a lot of ways I have related to her story in some ways personally. The fear of letting Hiroto back into her heart after such a crushing betrayal....finally allowing him back in and as of now almost at the end of her honeymoon (oops did I spoil that LOL) So, not only are the characters healing for me to write, this AMAZING God Given story is a source of healing as well. I trust and believe that God WILL work out my knots and kinks too so I too (if in His will) can have an everlasting love <3 Just wanted to share.

 

2, I AM WORKING ON A DOUBLE UPDATE Y'ALL LOL. OKAY lol. I got one chapter down and am having THEE hardest time writing this next one. It seems as though as with Accordance, there were times where it was like pulling teeth and it was so hard to write. I wanted to, needed to but just couldn't.

As always, you all are like family to me so I want to include you in as much of my process as I can. What would you like to see/read in the coming chapters? Keep in mind that your suggestions are very much welcomed and that our beloved story will YES be coming to an end unfortunately... *sob*

 

Okay that's enough rambling for one post! Keep me in y'all prayers, goin through intense warfare in the personal life and I will be praying for you all as always! Love you ladies (and gents should you be reading)! *KISSES* <3 

P.S- If you notice the formatting is awkward, misplaced or just plain weird, please know that is it NOT my own doing. When I transfer my work here, perfectly edited to my liking, the site messes the handiwork up LOL. Which frustrates me highly. BUT... some formatting issues, I just simply cannot work around guys. Thank you for understanding <3 

 

End Notes:

LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU (AND GOD DOES TOO) 

Au Revoir by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

 

 

 

Soundtrack: 

Life's Good- Namuuna 

 

A sharp gust of wind sliced through the peaceful ambiance and the briskness of it made him shudder. A sign of change. The seasons were shifting and soon the leaves would change color and snow would fall. The last drops of summer fell from the sky and he wanted to soak it all in. It was the last day in France and on this day, he had surprised her with a trip to the beautiful French countryside. Old forsaken farm houses and war ruins told stories the land would forever carry. But, the people were so humble, kind and generous…simplistic and rich in both land and heart. Closing his eyes, he sighed deeply. So many things had happened in this trip and for that he would be eternally grateful.

    “Hiroto?” Turning, he found his lovely lady leaning against the door. 

    “Hm?”

    “You ready to go home?” 

    “Yes and no.”

    “Yeah…me too.”

    “But, the time here had been so special. It certainly will not be the last time we visit.”

    “Yeah but still…” He smiled and reached for her hand, bringing it to his lips. 

    “Don’t mourn over our leaving.” She pouted cutely. 

    “Okay…” Snuggling up against him, she wrapped her arms around him as fireflies lit up the sky, crickets chirped and the setting sun painted beautiful colors across the expanse of the clear night sky. 

***

    Earlier in the day, she had found herself on lush land, rich in green and life. Literally. Soft fur drifted through her fingers and she smiled as a small lamb beneath her nestled his head against her breast. They had ventured far from their hotel and after several trains made it to the home of a quaint woman and her robust sons. 

    “That one has never been so comfortable with strangers…” Said woman said with a smile,  coming up behind her to lean against the arch of the small barn. 

    “His name is Addix.”

    “Aw…where’s his family?” She asked, blushing as the sweet little creature softly baa’ed and closed his eyes. 

    “All here. His mother and father are somewhere in the fields. All of his brothers and sisters are playing just there beyond the bend.” She pointed off into the distance, small forms seen. 

    “That’s awesome.”

    “Yes. In the spring, we shear them and later use the wool to make blankets and other things to keep us warm during the colder months.” 

    “Ah.” 

     “Here we prefer simplicity to the rather busy life in the cities. We are humble and don’t ask for much.”      

    “Same.” The two women looked out to see Hiroto grooming a mare, his gentle smile and tone of voice endearing. His cheeks were rosy and he leaned down to press his cheek against the mare’s mane. 

    “He hasn’t changed.” She turned to look at the woman who had later identified herself as Winona. 

    “You know him?” Winona smiled, clutching her hands together. 

    “When he was a boy, his grandmother allowed him to stay with me and my family. She and I were friends from long ago in her own travels.” By the look of surprise on her face, she continued. 

    “I know the Iwase family very well but I choose not to be associated with them… outside of dealings with Hiroto.” She lifted her eyebrow. 

    “Why?” The woman turned her eyes back onto her husband. 

    “He is the only kind blue blood left. His grandmother was like me… ordinary and homely. His family tried to break her but she was unrelenting. She raised that boy the best she could and he too has not allowed them to break him either. That I can respect. For that and for his kind soul, he will always be welcome here.” She swallowed thickly.

    “I’m pleased to see that he has married a good strong woman like his grandmother.” That was all she wrote as soon the woman grew quiet. Smiling as their gaze met, her heart skipped  beat. 

    “Rae, have you ever been horse back riding?” Her eyes near bugged out of her head and she shook her head no with the quickness. 

    “Aw nawl. What I look like doin that?” Dimples deep, he grinned. 

    “Come on, I’ll show you how to ride.”

    “Nuh uh.” 

    “Hiro’s a pretty good rider Rae. He won’t let you fall.” Winona encouraged, a small smile on her face. Pursing her lips, she sighed. 

    “Fine. Let’s get this over with.” Humored, he ignored her frown and lifted her to sit sideways on a horse, quite bigger than the more delicate mare of before. He smoothly lifted himself up in the saddle and held her close as he lifted the reins. She screeched as they began to trot, nearly clawing his arms off. 

    “Bruh….oh my gosh…” She felt like she was about to die, being so far up off of the ground and Roto thought he was slick with them low cackles of his. 

    “Loosen your legs a bit babe.”

    “Easier said than done, you tryna kill me…” With a gentle movement, the horse slowed down. 

    “Breathe Rae…” She lifted her death grip from his arms and tried to take a shaky breath. The smell of the nearby ocean drifted into her nostrils and the green of the land swirled together. Lungs full, she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to settle her queasy stomach. Soon, nausea passed and the horse neighed as if to laugh at her. 

    “Oh you laughin at me huh?” The horse grunted, bringing a laugh from behind.

    “Look at you bonding…” She cut her eyes at him.

    “You tryna die today…got me bout to fall off and this horse makin fun of me. Y’all both cancelled.” Another laugh and the gait became nice and slow, steady and comfortable. 

    “I think Abel is more pleased than anything.”

    “Oh yeah?”

    “Mm. You’re a trooper.” 

    “That right Abel?” She asked, lifting a shaky hand to glide through his mane. Said gelding grunted. 

    “Rae, look.” She looked up and suddenly grew breathless. In the distance, there sat rolling hills, bales of hay piled as high as the sky. Smoke from chimneys and sets of small glass windows opened calmed her. She could imagine that a gentle breeze rustled the curtains. 

    “It’s beautiful…” Looking up at him, she smiled. 

    “Why don’t we go to the beach…one last time.” 

    “Mm.” Commanding the horse to a stop, he got down and carefully helped her down.

    “Thank you for letting us ride you Abel.” Petting the horse in thanks, he smiled as he nudged him with his nose.     

    “Seems you’ll be leaving hm?” Winona said, coming to grab the reins from him. 

    “Yes. We should be heading onward.” 

    “I understand.”

    “Thank you for allowing us to come visit you.” She piped up, a smile on her face. 

    “Thank you Winona.”

    “Please, you are welcome here any time Hiroto. You know that.” He hugged the woman and kissed her cheeks. 

    “Rae, it was so nice to meet you.” 

    “Same here. Thank you for allowing us to enjoy your company and that of your family.” 

    “Anytime.” Hugging the kind woman, her heart beat soundly as she pressed something into her hand. 

    “Look at it later okay? Enjoy your last day in France.” The woman whispered into her ear before pulling away. Suddenly, as if knowing they were leaving, even the animals seemed to say goodbye, even little Addix. He came forward, baa’ing his little heart out right until he pressed against her leg. 

    “Aw…bye bye little one…” She said, petting him. 

    “He’ll miss you.” Roto said with a smile.

    “I’ll miss him too. We’ll come back to check in on him and the others…” 

    “Come on babe.” Fingers pulling her away, she sighed as they soon left the farm, headed towards the sea. Upon sight, he grinned.

    “Just like old times…” He took off, laughter high on the wind. Chuckling at his freedom, she bit her lip. Indeed. If they were to survive this world, the least they could do was continue to embrace the child-like joy still within them. 

    “Come on Rae!” He called to her, already ankle deep in the element…smile as bright as the sun. She could feel that same sunlight travel through her, illuminating her from the inside out. The mist in the air chilled her hot skin and she was glad summer was still with them. Taking off her tennis shoes, she slid out of her socks. 

    “Here I come!” Setting eyes on him, she felt her heart grow warm. On this last day…he had reverted to a style she hadn’t seen since they were teenagers. In a sleeveless grey shirt, the toned and tight muscles of his biceps and upper chest were on full display, the product of hard work and determination. His hair had been pushed back from his face by the wind and his equally firm legs were clad in light teal shorts, now wet. It meant so much to see him like this… comfortable and uninhibited. He turned to her as as she walked towards him. 

    “Ready?”

    “Ready Freddy.”  They rushed at the waves. Laughter bubbled up in her throat and in a flash they were running back towards the shore, water lapping at their feet as if to tease them. Running again, they tried to race the waves but this time were a bit too late. The water crashed into them, soaking their clothes. She screamed as he picked her up and spun her. Laughing deep and rich, she swat some water at him with a playful pout.  It hit him in the face and he grinned at her, shoving his hair back from his face. A million suns lit up in his smile.

    Closing her eyes, she let the waves lap at her knees. Deeply sighing, she tilt her head back, inhaling the air. Heading back towards more shallow water, she kicked her feet, making little tiny ripples. She grew still as he came behind her and slowly wrapped his arms around her. 

    “I’ve truly treasured every single moment we’ve had here. Now, I’m ready to birth new things.” The sun began to set slowly and for the last time they watched it go down over the Parisian horizon.

***

 

    Time in Paris has come to an end. Her shores and soil have loved me tenderly and I can’t wait to be reunited with her. As I write now, we are packing up our belongings. An early flight and we should be back in Japan by the next day. It’s been fun. For now, I bid you sweetly adieu. 

 

    ***

    After a nice dinner, they had gotten settled on the small couch, watching the television. Disturbing the peace, his phone began to ring and at a glance, he pulled away from her. Stepping out briefly onto the balcony, he answered his phone with a small smile. 

    “Hello Father.”

    “Hello. I trust you are ready to return?”

    “Yes. Rae and I are all packed up.” 

    “Ah…has this time been transformative for you Hiroto?” 

    “Mm. Rae and I have seen and experienced so much. It means a lot to me that she’s broadening her horizons. I want to take her to more places in the future.” His cheeks grew warm with color and the feeling in his heart was that of contentment. The voice of his father laughed heartily. 

    “Ah that pleases me…our little Rae has so much more world left to see.”

    “Mm.”

    “It seems like your honeymoon has been productive in spurring growth…have you taken the time to also grow intimately?” He coughed some, the sudden shift in conversation taking him by surprise. 

    “A-ah…Father…”

    “It is an innocent question.”

    “Ahh….”

    “Roto? Somethin wrong?” He looked up as Rae came to lean against one of the doors, arms crossed. His face felt like it was burning, much to his embarrassment. 

    “A-ah… n-no.” Her eyebrow lifted. 

    “You couldn’t have waited until we got home to ask that?”The man chuckled. 

    “I’ve been waiting enough time. Besides, it is healthy to inquire you know.” 

    “….” 

    “Judging by your silence I will assume you consummated. Good.” 

    “Father-” 

    “You did well, saving your body for her. I’m sure you two were relieved.” 

    “…I suppose you could say that…” Is all he could stand to say.  His father chortled in a quite unbecoming way. 

    “The Iwase virility has continued to be unsurpassed. I wish it much success in the future of your union.” The blush that had been in his cheeks slowly crept into his ears.

    “You sure you okay babe? You all red…” Rae asked, bringing his attention back to the very embarrassing topic at hand. Before he could answer, his father replied. Leave it to him to have the ear of a hawk. 

    “Is that my lovely daughter-in-law?” He didn’t think his cheeks could grow even more red but somehow they managed a way to. 

    “…would you like to speak to her?” 

    “Please.” He handed her the phone suddenly, a look of surprise on her face. 

    “He wants to say hi.” She blinked before slowly taking the phone from him. 

    “Okay…” Licking her lips, she answered softly. 

    “Hi Shou-sama.” 

    Hello my dear. Your Japanese has gotten so much better since the last time we spoke.” A blush came to her cheeks and she meekly bowed her head. 

    “I have been practicing real hard and everything.” 

    “It sounds lovely with your voice.”

    “Thank you…it’s good to hear from you Shou-sama…have you been well?” 

    “Oh yes. I haven’t heard from you two but that’s to be expected and all. From what Hiroto told me you two have had a very nice time away.”

    “Yeah. I swear this man be spoilin me more than what is necessary.”

    “Naturally, he should. You are his wife.” 

    “I guess…” 

    “Never forget that you have inherited a royal decree now Rae. Though we live in more present times, there are laws and ways that are still followed of old. Just as he is no ordinary man, now by law neither are you. You must learn to walk in that authority.” She licked her lips and glanced up at him. Yeah all y’all keep sayin that… but to me he’s just Roto…

    “Mm. I-I appreciate that.”

    “You’re very welcome.”

    “What have you been up to while we’ve been away?”

    “I’ve gotten in touch with some colleagues of mine from the past. It is good to check in with them once in a while now that we are all older.”  She lifted her eyebrows and glanced at him again who, by the way, seemed relieved to be off the hook. 

    “That’s nice.. how are they?” 

    “Here and there… some are well and some are not. What matters is that I keep in touch.” 

    “You’re right.” Things were silent as it sounded like he was shifting positions in a chair. 

    “Did Hiroto take you by Versailles?” 

    “He did. He surprised me with a beautiful tour.” The man softly chuckled. 

    “I am glad he showed you around.” The man cleared his throat.

    “I wanted to check up on you two. You’ll be in Tokyo by tomorrow?”

    “Yep!” She could almost envision his eyes crinkling in the corner with a smile. 

    “Good then. We’ll have to have tea and wagashi before it grows cold. May I speak with Hiroto before we go?”

    “Of course.”

    “Rae?”

    “Yes?”

    “It is okay to call me father now. You are family.” Cheeks warm, she nodded. 

    “O-okay. Um…get a good rest and we’ll see you soon…”  She handed the phone back to him and with a kiss to his cheek, left him alone once again. 

    “Father, I will call you when we reach Tokyo.” 

    “Good enough.” 

    “Be well Father.” 

    “You as well son.” Hanging up, he licked his lips before slipping into the room, quietly closing the French doors. 

    “We should be getting ready for bed babe. Our flight leaves early tomorrow morning.” He spoke quietly as he came up behind her, hands coming to caress her bare shoulders. Cheeks warm, she looked up at him. 

    “Yeah guess so huh?” 

    “You look tired.”

    “We had a hell of a day.” Leaning down to kiss the skin, he smiled. 

    “Tell you what, before we go to bed, how about I run a bath and you join me?” She ruffled his hair with a grin.

    “Sounds good Mister.”

 

***

    Small wafts of vapor drifted up into the air and she inhaled deeply. Head back against his chest, she closed her eyes. They both had been treated so kindly and she wasn’t quite sure if it was because of who he was or if it was natural to the people of France. Since they had married, it seemed everybody made it their mission to remind her of who he was by birthright. Honestly, it was starting to bug her. She didn’t care anything about his supposed blue blood or anything of the sort. She supposed it was to be expected as she had to remind herself just what family she had married into. Glancing up at him, she smiled to herself. His eyes were closed, his arms loosely around her underwater. Here, in this moment…it was quiet and a sense of peace filled the room. Here, there was no city hustle and bustle, here life traveled slower. Here reminded her of home. 

    Most times she forgot about all the rhetoric. But it all seemed to hit her in Versailles. That day, a whole new world had opened up to her and she learned that sometimes, it paid to be wife to a prince…

***

    Dust from the road rose up in tiny little clouds and brushed against the glass of the moving vehicle. Up the long winding road that seemed to span for ages a grand chateau came into view. Past the lush greenery, perfectly coifed topiaries that would make the fingers of a certain woman itch. Rich in decadence and plenty in splendor there stood the palace itself. And she was breathless. 

    “Monsieur and Mademoiselle…welcome to the Palace of Versailles.” The door to the car opened and a hand helped her step out. In the pale light of the morning, she felt nearly overwhelmed as she set eyes on the massive grounds. So….this was Versailles. So opulent, it made her head spin.

    “Shall we head inside?” We shall indeed…

***

    In the empty corridors, laughter filled the air and daringly, feet, open and bare touched the lush carpet that still appeared as if the very monarch Himself had only stepped out for a moment. At his insistence, the guides had let them explore alone. Lengthy history lessons and longwinded speech didn’t interest him much. He already knew the history of the ground on which he stood. But, his beautiful wife had no clue. He leaned against the wall, observing her. She stood in front of a large throne, some would say had been off placed. It didn’t look as though it fit where it was but she however did. Smiling, he pushed off of the wall.

    “What does it say?” He asked quietly, coming to lay his chin on the top of her head.

    “Says it belonged once to Louis XIV’s father.” 

    “Ah…” She welcomed his arms as they slid around her. 

    “I think it’s beautiful… everything about this place…”

    “There’s so much more to see.” She looked up at him. 

    “You’ve been here before huh?”

    “Mm.”

    “Any of your family come here?” He smiled. 

    “Yes.” Her eyes grew wide. 

    “Your family knew Marie Antoinette and Louis XIV?!” 

    “Mm.”

    “That’s crazy.” He squeezed her hand. 

    “In my time of study here, I found out all about it. In our archives, there is correspondence between the King himself and members of my family. It’s kinda cool.” 

    “Kinda….man bye…”  With a sigh, she looked up at the ceiling. 

    “I be forgettin I’m with the Royal Son over here sometimes…” He stuck out his tongue at her. 

    “Hey…” She grinned, poking his chest. 

    “Your bloodline go back farther than the history of the Sahara. Now I remember why yo mama threw such a fit over us.” He chuckled, tightening his grip on her waist. 

    “She’ll be throwing a fit until she dies and that’s just fine.” 

    “Hm.” He let go of her and slid hands into his pockets. 

    “This place is so big you can get lost so I say we head down the Hall of Mirrors first.” She lit up, squealing. 

    “Boy stop playin for real?! Yes, let’s go!” 

    “Mmkay. Race me.” She nearly snapped her neck trying to to look at him incredulously. 

    “You ain’t serious. We might get in trouble.” He grinned playfully. 

    “What can they do? Kick us out?”

    “Uh… YEAH.” 

    “Do you think the royals sat around stiff necked all day long? With a hallway as big as that?” She bust out laughing and hit him on the shoulder. 

    “You off the chain today Hiroto. Gon get me in trouble..”

    “A little of it can’t hurt.”

    “Nah nah nah…not in these heels.” 

    “Well then we’ll fix that.” He wiggled his eyebrows in such a goofy manner that she doubled over. 

    “You straight wildin right now…” He grinned and knelt, gently lifting her foot. 

    “Oh my God… get up fore somebody see us. I don’t think by lettin us alone they gave us permission to wreck shop.” He ignored her and slowly unclasped the shoe from her foot. Without a word, he soon grasped both of her heels in his hand and stood up. 

    “Profitons de la vie ma belle.” 

*** 

    By the time they had gotten back to the hotel, they had been on they last leg. Being nearly blinded by the Hall of Mirrors, they had attempted to cover every inch of the Palace as they could before her feet craved the dirt. Lifting her dress, the color of the sun, she imagined herself as Queen, frolicking with her mischievous husband instead of attending to more important affairs. Getting lost in the gardens, they had collapsed by one of the various fountains. 

*** 

    Chest heaving, she pressed her hands back against the soft grass, eyes intent on the man that hovered above her.  

    “If only for a day, you finally get to imagine what’s yours.” She licked her lips. 

    “And what is that?”

    “Our Kingdom.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her exposed breastbone.

    “There is no limit to what I will do to ensure that you are treated the rest of your life as the Queen you are.” She lifted her leg slightly. 

    “And what of you…are you not to be treated the same as my King?” He slowly kissed the revealed skin and with his nose, trailed a path upward until his lips teased hers in such cruelty. 

    “You matter more than I.” Lifting her hands, she hid her fingers in his hair as finally their lips met.

    “We found you! Finally!” Separating abruptly, she couldn’t help but pout as slowly he placed her leg back on the ground. Clearing his throat, he gave a nod. 

    “We’re grateful to you for allowing us free reign.” Eyes averted, the tour guides kept quiet until the both of them stood, shoes not too far away from them. 

    “It is our pleasure Monsieur Iwase. After all, Versailles was home to many of your ancestors. How could we deny an heir?” 

    “Even with that said, you’ve pulled a lot of strings to make this happen. Had Iwase not been behind my name, we would have been rejected. My wife and I greatly appreciate it.” He bowed lowly and she followed suit, hands pressed delicately against her thighs. 

    “It is no trouble. Please, if you will come this way. We will escort you to your car.” Going to grab their shoes, they quickly slid into them before heading to an awaiting car. And just like that, they slowly drove away from the place where the land was soaked in blue blood. 

*** 

    The view of the stars above her made her nearly dizzy and all the more breathless. She wanted just for a moment to imagine it was just them two, the rest of the world not welcome. Kisses traveled up her back bringing a smile to her. She turned her head to kiss him and he sighed contently against her mouth.

    “We best be gettin to bed. You fallin ta sleep and everything…” He pouted cutely, arms tightening ever so slightly.

    “I suppose…” She lifted a hand and rustled his hair. 

    “Come on sleepyhead.” Lifting from the bath, she pulled him for the final time to their temporary bed. Snuggling close to him, she couldn’t help but indulge in his warmth. This is so bittersweet. Closing her eyes, she let herself be pulled against a solid chest, leg lazily entrapping her. 

    “In the morning, we’ll be back home…” He spoke tiredly with a yawn. 

    “Mmhm.” And like that, the both of them fell asleep like babies, excited for the morrow. 

***

    Paris. A land of my dreams, one I could never have imagined making reality. I hope that in the coming years I can visit again with my love. Au Revoir bien-aimé la France.

    Rae

 

End Notes:

A/N: Hey y'all! It has been the hardest time getting this baby out lol. WHOO! Our babies' honeymoon has now officially ended and oh what awaits hehe. I do severely enjoy writing scenes of our babies being peaceful and enjoying each other's company!! Gotta love Shou man lol. He like when. y'all. having. chil'ren. lol. I WANT MA GRANDBABIES LOL. So cute! I'll leave some pictures of course and some translations (to the best of my non-French speaking behind's ability LOL. 

P.S- Are you ready for what's comin?? Cause it's gonna be a ride haha. Please as always leave your comments and gon and click next to the next chapter update!! <3 My gift and apologies for writer's block and a long wait lol. 

 

TRANSLATIONS: 

Profitons de la vie ma belle- Roughly means take advantage of life my beautiful 

Au Revoir bien-aimé la France- Good bye beloved France 

 

Rae's outfits this chapter: 

 

 

 

Roto's outfits: 

 

 

Return by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

WARNING: SCENES OF SEXUAL NATURE AND LANGUAGE AHEAD! <3 

 

Soundtrack (DEEP ONE): 

 

FKJ-Vibin' Out with (((O))

I'm Not Afraid- Jill Scott 

Billzegypt-Bring It Back 

 

 

 

 

"Hello Hiroto." Looking up from his desk, he froze, documents and folders in hand.

"Mitsugi Aiko." Her lips drew into a smile. 

"Long time no see stranger." He grew cool, his face reflecting a neutral calm.

"What brings you?"

"It's been a while and I wanted to come by and see how you were doing." 

"Where's your half sister?" 

"She's somewhere in Germany visiting a friend." 

"I see."

"She was really heart broken about your dumping her but hey, what can you do about it?" 

"I am sure you never thought your plan would have failed."

"Look, that was fifteen years ago Hiroto-"

"Iwase to you." She smiled. 

"Iwase...I came by to apologize. We're all older now and it's time to leave the past in the past." 

"Mm."

"I was young and stupid and I admit plotting to set you up with my half sister was a dirty thing to do. It was the only way I could surmise to still somewhat be with you."

"We were never together." 

"Well, I thought it appropriate to come make amends with you anyway. I'm married now with a son on the way so I wanna fresh start ya know?"

"It's not me you should be apologizing to. Rae's the one who deserves your apology." She smiled to herself. 

"You haven't changed one bit."

"..."

"...Well, at least I tried to come by. I guess I better go now. It was really good to see you Iwase-kun." In the blink of an eye, she turned and left through his doors, leaving him to exhale rather loudly. She had some balls to come see him after what she had done. Steeped in teenage jealousy, her actions could have destroyed them. He wasn't so sure if Rae would be as forgiving or nice as he.

Glancing outwards towards the street, he sighed as he spotted her getting into a car way down below. How strange for her to visit after all this time. He hadn't seen Mitsugi Aiko in over fifteen years and so easily she had been able to come to see him. What was the purpose of this little visit he wondered. Not one ounce of her appeared too terribly remorseful but for that he could care less. He had done his job and tried to warn Kiko of her ways. As long as she stayed out of their lives, he determined that there would be no problem. Licking his lips, he slid on his glasses, sat back down and began to read some paperwork.

***

 

 

"Rae-san?" 

"Yes sweetheart?"

"Is Oniisama coming by today?"

"Would you like him to?" 

"Mm." She reached up and rustled his hair. 

"Okay. Let me call him." Getting up, she stepped into the hallway. Calling him, she waited until she heard a rich hearty voice.

"Iwase speaking." 

"Hey babe." The monotone instantly turned warm. 

"Hey pretty lady."

"Busy?"

"I always have time for you baby. What's up?"  She blushed and smiled to herself. 

"Well, I'm here with Kyouta and he was wonderin if you wanted to drop by later on." She could practically hear the smile in his voice as he laughed softly. 

"I'll try. No promises though."

"Kay."

"Everything else there is going well?" She nodded. 

"Mmhm. All of our kids are doing so well at Ayako. More of them have been able to attend school and connect with loving families."

"That's amazing!" 

"Yep. Thought that'd make you smile." He sighed into the phone. 

"The sooner I get done with all of this, the sooner I see you." 

"Trust me baby, I ain't goin nowhere. Handle your business and I'll be there when you walk through the door."

"Mm."

"I better go. See you later?" 

"Mm. I love you." She smiled to herself. She loved when he said I love you in Japanese. The way his voice grew soft and whispery always sent chills run down her spine. 

"Love you too." The line clicked and she was met with silence. Licking her lips, she cleared her throat and re-entered into the main playroom. Coming to sit by her favorite little munchkin, she grinned at him. 

"So, guess what?" He looked up, lips in a small smile. 

"Oniisama said he'd try to come by." The boy's eyes lit up and he hugged her, forgetting about the toys or colored pencils he'd been occupied with. 

"Thank you Rae-san!" She wrapped her arms around the boy and held him tight. 

"Don't thank me honey.." Soon, he let go of her and began to play again, asking her to help him color. Looking up at his small face, she felt her heart melt into a thousand suns. She didn't want to say it or admit it... but she found herself falling in love with this boy. In the little world that they had created, she kinda wanted a part of it to be only his own where he too could create worlds too. 

***

"Mr. Iwase, why don't you call it a night?" Face aglow by the light of his laptop, he continued to type. 

"Mr. Iwase..."

"Thank you for your concern Ninao-chan." The woman had peeked her head into the office as she found herself doing out of habit. Always around this time, she kindly reminded him to put work to bed until the early morning. But, there were always more things he could get done before the first light. Sleep could come later. 

"Mr. Iwase..." He sighed and slowly removed his glasses. 

"Okay. Alright." She sighed in relief and stepped in gingerly. 

"Um... Mr. Iwase?" Getting up from his desk, he looked up at her. 

"What is it?" 

"Um..."

"What's wrong?" She shyly avert her gaze. 

"Do you think it would be possible to take me home t-tonight?" His brow furled and he stood straighter, sliding hands into his pockets. 

"What happened to your transportation?" She swallowed audibly and took a breath before looking up at him. 

"I don't have any. I've been walking." He blinked in surprise. 

"Walking? That's not possible."

"If it's an inconvenience, I'll go now. I'm sorry I a-asked." He swallowed and tightened his jaw. 

"Wait a minute." Nearly out the door, she paused. 

"I can't let you walk home. I will take you."  In the dim light of the office, he could see shiny eyes turn to look at him and slowly, she bowed. 

"Thank you...thank you so much." He smiled to himself. 

"It's no problem. Let's make our way down okay?" 

"Mm." 

***

Snow softly covered the streets, the quiet fall soft and peaceful in the dark night. The night was unusually clear; different shades of azure and indigo. Above, tiny white lights twinkled across the expanse of the sky. Soot from chimneys and exhaust from the cars traveled through the air. It was far too quiet but it was welcome.

After dropping off Ninao, he got on the freeway and took the long way home. Sighing heavily, he slid fingers through his hair.  The appearance of Aiko bothered him the more he thought about it. There was absolutely no reason for her to have shown up. The topic of Kiko left a bitter taste in his mouth. For now, let it go. Pulling into the private driveway, he shut the car off and groaned. So tired. Straight to bed it was. Shivering, he quickly headed upward. Opening the door, he stepped in to the smell of meat cooking. His stomach growled loudly and he blushed. 

"Hiroto?" She called from the kitchen. 

"I'm home..." The sound of her small feet coming towards him made him smile and she threw herself at him, arms around his neck. 

"Welcome home baby." He sighed against her hair. 

"Good to be home." Gently, he kissed her before letting her down. 

"I thought you'd be sleep by now. It's really late." She shrugged with a small smile. 

"The very least I could do was make you dinner right?" His stomach accepted her answer gladly and he smiled to himself as he slid off his shoes into house shoes. The smell of food beckoned him and he came into the kitchen.

"Smells delicious."

"Mmhm...gon get comfy. I have it ready when you come back."  

"Yes ma'am." He replied with a grin. The tv droned on in the background as he went to change. Taking off his wet clothes, he hung them out to dry put on warm bed clothes. He put a headband on, sliding the hair back from his face. Sighing, he came back into the living room. 

"Babe?" He heard her call from the kitchen. 

"Yeah?"

"Could you help me please?" He obliged, coming to see her on her tip toes, reaching for some seasoning of some sort from a cupboard higher than her. The sight melted his heart and he couldn't help but chuckle. 

"So cute..."  She sucked her teeth and pursed her lips. 

"Shut up..." He bust out laughing, drawing a deeper purse from her.

"See who gon be sleepin by himself tonight." 

"Aw don't be like that..." Sticking out her tongue at him, she huffed and tried again but to no avail. He came behind her and reached up above her to grab a bottle of spices. Handing it to her, he sighed with a small smile as she thanked him, purse in full effect, before seasoning her food.  

"How was your day?" He asked, bringing his arms around her.

"Good. Saw Kyouta and went to chat with some ladies from other up and coming businesses." 

"Ah... Kyou-kun! I forgot about him today...I was so busy!"

"That's okay. He understood."

"Hm..I'll have to make it up to him." Things grew quiet between them. 

"Rae?"

"Yeah?" 

"Aiko came to visit today." 

"What?"

"She wanted to apologize for what she did." 

"For?" He pulled away from her.  

"Being a conspirator in the match between Kiko and I." Anger blossomed on her face but she kept quiet as he continued. 

"She had been in cahoots with my mother and Kiko's family. If we had married, Kiko being her half sister would have brought her along for the ride and made her Iwase by association." 

"Aw hell nawl. That bitch grimy." 

"Rae," 

"If I see her, she ain't gettin nothin out of me but a punch to the throat."  He lifted hands to caress her shoulders. 

"I knew you wouldn't be as nice as I." 

"Damn right. Okay enough about her insignificant ass. Dinner is done. Ready to eat?" He found himself grinning suddenly and at that, she pursed her lips. 

"Don't know why I even asked. You greedy as hell. Come on man, let's go to the table." 

"Yes ma'am."

 

***

"Hiroto Iwase was my lover." The face of a woman showed on the television screen, her lips painted the deepest shade of ruby. 

"I loved him in my youth and even now...feelings still remain." The woman looked down at a few sheets of paper she held before continuing. 

"Though he is now with another woman...I've waited so long to revisit the feelings in my heart. While I knew him physically, I would like to think I knew him in every other aspect as well. The other woman will not stop me from rekindling what we once had." Placing the paper down, she cleared her throat. 

"That's quite an explosive way to end this evening's episode of Letters of Truth...considering Iwase-san recently got married to his high school sweetheart...I do hope the unnamed woman respects their decision to be together if in fact she desires more. In the end, we should all remain truthful. Will you? Good night and see you tomorrow night. I'm Ayu Sanaka."  Smiling, eyes watched as the program went off. It was almost time to make the move.

 

***

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen." She licked her lips nervously and smiled, urging herself to press through. 

"I wanted to bring before you a new proposal. With so many new and exciting things happening for Shoutoii, I think it is time for us to take off and soar with our mission." She laid individual presentations before the small board. 

"I'd like to introduce to you a proposal for Shoutoii's newest sector: Hinansho. Like the name implies, this goal is to provide a haven for our young people. Specifically, my role would be with the young girls and women. Hinansho will enable those who have been abused or discouraged to receive counseling, medical treatment free of charge and an opportunity to attend school. Also to be noted, Hinansho will be a global initiative, aiming to shelter in need children from all walks of life. What say you on this proposal?"  Everyone was silent as they continued to look through the informative pamphlets she had prepared and she resisted the urge to shift her feet as they finally looked up at her. 

"What purpose would it serve to separate the genders?" The door to the office opened before she could answer, in walked Hiroto. They all stood and bowed. He said not a word, only bowed and took a seat, fingers crossed. She swallowed and stood straight. 

"I believe that there are things that only a woman can teach and show other women and girls. Narratives that are uniquely our own. In a way, I would like to think that by my mentorship of these future businesswomen, scholars and intellects, I hope to have a direct impact on their foundational molding. It is my desire to guide them to a better path, a fruitful path of healing, restoration and increase." 

"And do you have the direct support of our CEO?"

"She does." Hiroto spoke, fingers steepled.

"May we ask why you support?" 

"Don't we all need a safe place to run to when we are lost?" Some of the executives started to take notes while others sat stone faced. 

"Mr. Iwase is fully on board and is open to serving as a mentor if you will to the young boys and men..."

"If I may ask Mr. Iwase...are you not showing favoritism to her because she is your wife?" She froze, glancing at the woman who had dared to speak. He too turned to look at her, calm and neutral. 

"My approval has nothing to do with the fact that we are married. My wife works just as hard as the rest of my staff and she is a very valuable part of Shoutoii. She has earned her position of COO all by herself and should be respected for her contributions. Has she not done right by this company? Has she not changed lives?"  All was quiet. 

"Instead of criticizing her, we should be thanking her. She has a heart for both the Japanese people and that of the world. It is my wish that you approve this, I truly believe that it can and will inspire change and growth not just here but abroad. Meeting adjourned." The members stood and bowed before filing out of the office. He slowly stood and smiled at her as she took a large sigh of relief. 

"I knew they was gone do that."

"Do what?"

"Bring up the fact that we're married. All they seem to do as of late is underestimate me."

"If they never accept you it is their loss. What is important is the heart you have and how you allow it to touch others. That in itself will speak louder than the other things you've mentioned." She blew some of her hair up from her face. 

"I guess..."

"I'm proud of you Rae. You did well today."

"Thanks..."

"Your Japanese is getting so much better too..."

"Aw shucks...well I got an amazin teacher." He blushed then, cheeks delightfully rosy. 

"Let's go sneak away and grab a bite to eat."

"Kay. Wanna see if  Tobu wanna tag along?"

"Mm. His complementary training course should be over by now."

"Leggo."

***

In the cold night, there sat a long car, unmarked and black as the blanket of darkness that covered it. A lens quietly extended outside the window, located specifically on a man. Eyes watched as the hands of the man came to wrap around a woman, much smaller than him. Not only was their size difference significant but so was their physicality. Not common but not extremely rare, the man leaned down to whisper something into the brown skinned woman's ear and she proceeded to playfully hit him on the shoulder. She started to laugh and he grinned before lifting her easily into his arms. So, this was the infamous son of Iwase Shou? Quite a peculiar mate he had chosen. But, as eyes watched their lips meet, the lens grew closer. Soon, the watching would have to end for tonight but perhaps this would prove entertaining after all.

***

Lights flashed as feet headed towards the vehicle. Tie loose, the man sighed as he made his way across the employee parking deck. Another night late at the office and he was more than ready to get in the bed. As he walked in the near empty parking lot, something soon caught his attention. The sound of heels was loud, echoing throughout the enclosed lot. Dim from the above lights, he came to a slow stop. The heels stopped. Fists and jaw tight, he looked around. Nothing. Swallowing tightly, he continued to his car, every sense on alert. There, the heels started up again and he knew he was going to meet the owner sooner than later. As he came to the door, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Bringing one to his mouth, he brought it to life and slowly exhaled. Unlocking the door, he slid inside. Waiting. Soon, a black figure approached his car and the door opened. Sliding inside, eyes turned to his and he grew still. 

"After all this rime...you still smoke."  

"What are you doing here?" The woman smiled and reached across to grab the cigarette from his fingers. Bringing it to her mouth, she inhaled deeply. 

"You know why. I'm here to finish what we started."

"Prison hasn't taught you anything has it?"

"Not when all my thoughts were consumed with you." 

"I was waiting until you showed up. It was only a matter of time." Her smile was slow and calculated and she leaned over to place the cigarette back in his mouth. 

"It's been such a long time Hiroto." He was quiet as she climbed over into his lap, wrapping arms around him. 

"I missed you." Anger lit his veins on fire and he wrapped her wrists, pushing her back against the steering wheel. 

"Let me make something very clear to you Emi." He looked her dead in her eyes. 

"If you harm Rae, I will end you." She laughed softly, pulling his gaze to hers.

"Enough with those same old threats."  He lifted the cigarette and tossed it out of the window, blowing the last remaining bit of smoke in her face. Reaching up, he gripped her hips as they had started to move. Lifting a hand, he encircled fingers around her neck. Slowly squeezing, he brought her face closer, air in her lungs now limited. 

"Whatever my parents told you about me was a lie. If you want an re-introduction to who I really am, I'd be glad to make that happen." He squeezed her neck tighter, making her gasp for air. He didn't let up, reaching to the side of her to open the car door. 

"Touch a hair on her head and I promise you...prison will be the last thing you will worry about. If you're wise, you'd let this be the last time we see each other. Go crawl back into your hole like the dirty little rat you are." He shoved her out of the car and slowly closed the door. Starting the engine, he drove away, leaving her gripping the ground. 

*** 

The way he kissed her was different. His whole demeanor was different. The minute he'd walked through the door, she could tell something was off. But, what bothered her the most was the smell of perfume that wafted across her nose as he took off his jacket. Watching him pull off his shirt as he walked into the bathroom, she licked her lips. He smells like a woman. A woman who wore a scent she didn't own. Opening the door, she stepped into the bathroom and leaned back against the wall, watching him as he showered in silence. 

"You ain't speak when you came home. Somethin up?" He sighed tiredly and pushed his hair back from his face, letting the water pelt him. 

"I don't want to talk about it. Not right now." Lips in a purse, she crossed her arms. 

"You awfully tired tonight." She observed, bringing her eyes down the length of him. 

"I've been at work all day. I should be." 

"Came home later than usual too." 

"Rae, don't sound so suspicious."

"I will if I want to." 

"What is there to be suspicious about?" She ran her tongue over her teeth but when she spoke, it made him grow still. 

"You smell like a bitch." He turned to look at her from within the shower. 

"Excuse me?"

"I ain't stutter." He turned off the water and slowly stepped out of the shower, gaze intense

"Run that by me again." She looked him square in the eye, cheeks flush with anger. 

"I said you smell like a bitch." 

"You want to know if I fucked her right?" 

"Don't get that tone with me."

"No, I'm just curious to know what conclusion you've come to Rae." 

"Tell me what to think Hiroto. You come in here smellin like another chick and the first thing you do is hop yo happy ass in the shower. Don't speak or nothin. Tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to think." He grew closer until he had pressed her back against the wall, hands flat behind her. She stood tall, even as he brought his gaze eye level. 

"You should know me and where you stand by now." She rolled her eyes and turned her head, focusing on nothing in particular. 

"Look at me." Seriousness radiating off of him, she tightened her jaw but slowly brought her gaze back to him. 

"Don't ever do that." 

"Don't ever??"

"To think that I would ever cheat on you is insulting and frankly, it's pissing me off." She looked down but the fingers that caressed her cheek were gentle and once more he made her look at him, the gaze within angry but tender. 

"When I vowed that you would be the only woman I'd ever be with before God I meant it. Don't let silly jealousy get in the way of you and I. Do you understand me?" She sighed heavily, the last remnants of anger turning into tears that welled up in her eyes. 

"Yeah...I-I understand."

"There are going to be nights when I come home smelling like perfume Rae. Accept it. But know that you're the only one I have eyes for. I shouldn't even have to say this shit."  She lifted her arms to pull him closer, fingers gripping his back. 

"I'm sorry baby...I just...I see what been goin on. Bitches comin out the wood work ever since we got married and I don't like the shits. I don't be knowing how to handle it." He kissed her temple and lifted her face, fingers curled underneath her chin. 

"Worry about how you're going to handle me." Anger quickly left her and his touch seemed to travel through her veins to her womb. He felt it too and kissed her, softly groaning against her mouth. Pulling her towards him, he lifted her into his arms and slowly began to lift her pajama shirt. 

"Let's try again..." He breathed, lips trailing down her neck. 

"Roto..." 

"How was your day..." 

"Good...h-how was yours? 

"Thought about you all day." 

"Yeah?"

"Mm."

"What'd you think about?"

"The way your hair comes out of your bun in the break room. The way your lips form my name when you speak. The way you sound like you're singing when you laugh." Her fingers found their home in his hair and drowned in his deep chestnut eyes. 

"No one can compare or come close to you and they shouldn't even try to. You're the only one who can turn me on and piss me off at the same time."

"Shut up!"

"See?" He grinned against her, coming to grip her cheeks. 

"You irritate me so much Hiroto. Damn."

"What else do I do?" He breathed lowly, coming to kiss a breast. 

"You already know..."

"Apparently not. So tell me." She slowly moved her hips against him, bringing a rumble from him.

"I'd rather show you." His fingers tightened on her cheeks and without another word, he pulled her from the wall and made his way back into the shower. 

*** 

Chills flooded her body and she stared at herself in the mirror. He still radiated power and it was enough to bring her to her knees. Something about the fact that he could break her into a million pieces sent heat straight in between her thighs. That always had intrigued her. He had the face of an angel and yet was so deep, intense and dangerous. Slowly, she fingered a picture of him from long ago. Still in his high school uniform, he stood straight and formal. That little whore stood next to him, her arm around his waist. There, the makings of a grin began to take hold of his mouth. She knocked it off of the table. Now that she was freed, she'd risk going to hell if it only gave her one last taste of him. It was time to go to war... for the last time. 

 

 

***

"Mrs. Iwase, would you like me to take you back to Shoutoii?" 

"Yes, I would appreciate it." 

"Right away." The door opened and she stepped inside. Having finalized her preparations, she was ready to get to work on her new initiative. With the counsel's approval, she was eager to start. She had carried it like her baby and as excited as she was, she was also hella nervous. Running her fingers down her braid, she looked out of the window as they passed green fields and city cars.  Maybe Kyou could benefit from this too and her heart could stop breaking every time she had to leave him. Glancing down at her watch, she sighed. By now, Roto should be wrapping up his meeting and she hoped that they could grab lunch. As soon as they pulled up, she stepped out. 

"Thank you."   Stepping into the building, she pressed the elevator button and waited until the doors opened. Pulling out her phone from her clutch, she didn't look up as another person stepped in. A few more floors until the elevator stopped. Glancing up, she stepped out and looked around, not sure of the floor. Damn. Shoulda been payin attention. She turned around and pushed the elevator button but the light turned off. Frowning, she swallowed. 

"Hello? Can anyone help me?" Strange that it was so quiet on this floor. Huffing, she went in search of someone. 

"Excuse me? Can anyone help fix the elevator? The lights have turned off." Still nothing. A feeling of dread started to work its way into her stomach. Now, it was starting to get creepy. 

"...Hiroto! Wait for me you jerk!" Hearing what sounded like her voice, she froze. What the hell? 

"...you're a slow poke! Come on...hurry Rae." Where was that coming from? Eying behind her, she saw a source of light come from one of the offices. Tightly gripping her purse, she followed it as the sounds changed drastically. 

"I hate you..." His voice hissed in a quite uncharacteristic tone. Throat tight, she came into the office and felt chills go through her entire body. There, displayed from a projector, Emi  moaned underneath him as his hands tightly gripped her strands. 

"Show me...show me how much you hate me..." Eyes took everything in, the brutal way he came into her, the wild sounds that erupted from her, the emotionless zone he had existed in. All of it so different than now. The scene changed. A woman she'd never seen before laid underneath him, her hands pinned above her head. He rocked against her in an almost robotic motion before it changed again. Yet, another scene with that filthy ass bitch. But this time, it was different. Instead of no emotion on his face, pleasure had worked its way into his cheeks. Emi glanced up at him, a disgusted look on her face. 

"You're imagining it's Rae aren't you?" Heat flushed her but she couldn't help but look on as he grabbed her throat. 

"Shut up." 

"If it'll make you come, imagine it's her. Fuck me like you'd fuck her." She inhaled sharply as he came into her nice and slow, a groan coming from his lips. Soon, he crashed into her and for the first time, he grew still as he released, breath heavy. 

"That's...the first and last time...I ever do this." He quickly separated from her. 

"Rae's not like you." He leaned down and pulled her up by her hair, ignoring the whimper that escaped her. 

"You deserve to be fucked like the dirty whore that you are." Shoving her away, he went to grab what she guessed were cigarettes. Leaning back against his desk, he lit one and inhaled deeply. 

"Get the fuck out." 

"Even while he was deep inside me. I knew he wished it was you." Fingers balled up into fists, she turned to face the woman she never thought she'd ever see again. 

"I couldn't understand why he found you worthy. Worthy of tenderness and grace. You didn't deserve shit." 

"You put this little show on? You shouldn't have, I'm flattered Emi." 

"My my, arrogant aren't we?" 

"Even way back when then my man knew knew the difference between me and you." 

"The difference was that you sucked his dick a little bit better than me." She sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes so hard she couldn't see. 

"I ain't have to suck his dick. You did. You tried to get him to fall in love with you through sex. As you can see, that wasn't required of me." Those lips same as in the past were painted red, her hair still glossy and bone straight. But, her soul was gone and she looked lifeless. 

"How's it feel being his bedwhore?" 

"I should be asking you that." Emi grew quiet and turned eyes onto the scenes playing back to back. 

"I'm not giving up."

"You should."

"No.." 

"Ain't nothin else you can do that's going to break us. You've been put on wash rinse and repeat and now boo all you are is washed up. Hella washed up."

"You talk a good game but we'll see if you can back it up." 

"We're not doing anything. What you're going to do is walk away. You already lost the fight. Don't know what's with y'all chicks out here but y'all be doin the most." She turned to look at her. 

"Little street rat got a taste of privilege and now she thinks she's the Queen of the World." 

"Call me whatever you want ho. I don't give a damn." Sighing, she couldn't do nothin but shake her head. 

"Have fun with your pornos down memory lane. I have to find my husband." Smoothly grabbing her clutch, she glided right past her into the hallway. Suddenly, the lights came on to the elevator. Getting in, she waited until the doors were closed until she felt her knees buckle. Shit. Her head began to spin and she swallowed, trying to gather herself. The strangest thing happened. Those scars that rested on her belly began to sting. Something that had never happened before. The elevator dinged as it brought her to the top floor but she stood still as the doors opened. She heard voices talk and laugh, typing and the smell of coffee but still, she was stuck. 

"Rae?" Looking up slowly, she peered into Hiroto's face, his friendly expression soon growing worried. 

"What's wrong?" 

"N-nothin..."  

"Takahashi-kun, pardon me for a moment." He bowed. 

"Baby, you look pale." He stepped inside the elevator just as her legs decided to finally give out. He caught her tightly and scooped her up into his arms, cradling her to him. 

"Mr. Iwase, should we call an ambulance?" 

"Will Mrs. Iwase be okay?" 

"Yes, thank you. I will take it from here. Should I need assistance, I will let you know."   He carried her down the hall until they made it into his office. Closing the doors, he set her down on a small couch. The stinging intensified and she gripped her stomach. 

"Talk to me baby... what's hurting?" She swallowed and lifted her gaze. 

"Those wounds Emi gave me...they stingin for some reason." He knit his eyebrows. 

"Stinging?"

"Hiroto, that night you came home smelling like perfume...was it from Emi?" He grew still. 

"Rae,"

"Was it?" He swallowed thickly. 

"Yeah. She followed me to my car and tried to come on to me."  She inhaled through her nostrils, though flared and glanced past him. 

"Now I get it." His hands brought her gaze back to his. 

"Get what? I'm lost..."

"Bet you ain't know she filmed y'all all them times y'all had sex." His cheeks grew red but his eyes held a mixture of shock and anger. 

"What?" 

"Yeah. I just had a front row seat. Bitch grimier than I thought." He stood and tightened his hands into fists. He said nothing as he went over to his desk.

"Tanaka, send security around the building." 

"Yes sir."

"Anything suspicious report to me as soon as possible."

"Yes sir." He slid fingers through his hair. 

"What'd she say to you?" 

"She still thinks you're some living blow up toy."

"I'm not surprised."

"She said every time y'all used to do it, all you thought about was me." He grew quiet, listening intently as she continued, 

"She clearly hasn't grasped the fact that you are a human being and were very much tortured at that point in your life. I know you didn't mean it... bein so rough with those girls Hiroto... all of it... was a cry for help. And nobody answered." Their eyes met. 

"I could see past it all...it was like your heart was coming through the film and it was weeping...screaming." Lifting shaky fingers to her hair, she gripped her stomach. 

"I told that bitch I ain't have to trap you between my legs to make you love me. I'm damn proud of that." He came from around the desk and gently curled his fingers under her chin. 

"That's something she'll never understand. " 

"I could see how much you loved me... even then." He smiled softly, pulling her against his stomach. 

"I'm glad that spoke louder than everything else."

"Hiroto..." He leaned down, brushing his lips against hers. 

"Yeah babe?" 

"I love you." 

"I love you too." Lips softly kissed her and she devoured his breath. Emi was a hating ass ho and she'd let her stay one. 

"Let's go home early today...call it quits..."  He pulled back from her, fingers sliding away from her chin. Clearing his throat, he pressed on the intercom. 

"Haruki-kun, I'd appreciate it if you took over. I'm going to take Rae home."

"Is she all right?"

"Mm. Some rest and I think she'll be just fine."

"Take care of her Iwase-kun. I can take over for you with no problem."

"Thank you."

"Mm. Have a great rest of your day."  Standing back, he smiled. 

"Let's get you home babe."

***

 

"Oniisama?" Eyes turned down to see a young face peering up at him. 

"Mm?"

"What is it about Ms. Ebere that makes you smile?"  

"Hm?" Those same eyes drifted to the woman in front of them. 

"She's different than everyone else...that I know. But, for some reason...I haven't minded any of it." 

"Ah..."

"She always has something good to say even when I don't feel that way. She's really girly and pretty. Her laughter is nice and her hands and hugs are always warm." He smiled and gently placed a hand on top of the boy's head. 

"Kyou-kun...what do you know about love?" 

"Love?"

"Mm."

"...I don't know much."

"How do you feel when you're around her?" 

"...I feel warm and safe." His smile grew deeper.

"I see." He knelt down and made him look at him. 

"My heart once hurt a lot... like yours. I felt alone, useless and abandoned. But Ms. Ebere helped me see that I was worth having happiness. With her, I learned I never had to be alone again. She's very special to me." The boy opened his mouth to speak but instead declined. The two of them watched as the woman of their discussion laughed as she stood amidst a small group of girls. 

"I see."

***

"Found it!" He looked down, arms and body draped over her, chin on her shoulder. 

"Found what?"

"Our next place...for now."

"Oh?"

"Mm. It's a perfect compromise. It's located 40 minutes away from Kyoto and is still within reach for us to get to work." Interest peaked, he looked on as she went through pictures of the place. 

"I knew we was gon find it. I was tired of arguing with you over this."

"More like demanding me."

"I was not." He grinned as she continued to go through the photos. 

"I don't have a problem with staying here. But as you know, my father is growing older and I want to be able to take care of him." She lifted fingers to rustle his hair. 

"I know baby. I want to make sure Shou is taken care of too."

"Let's make a date to go check it out."

"You want to?"

"Mm. Why not?" She let out a yell and turned to tackle him. 

"YES!" Laughing against her hair, he opened his eyes to settle them on her face. 

"Rae..." She met his gaze, red starting to paint her cheeks. 

"Yeah?" 

"I've been thinking..."

"About?"

"Adopting Kyouta." That got her attention. 

"Wow...that's...that's a big move."

"I see the way you interact with him and it's obvious you love him."

"Well...yeah. I love all our kids at Ayako."

"Not like that." She nibbled on her bottom lip for a while before sitting up. 

"How do you feel about him?" Getting up, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 

"I don't see him as a child at Ayako. Honestly... as of late... I've started to see him as a son." She turned to look up into his eyes. 

"You're all he talks about Roto. He's madly in love with you."

"And you."

"Nah..."

"Believe me... you have the love and tenderness he is both lacking and needing." She lifted her fingers to drift them through his. 

"Okay...we both think he would be happy here... with us. But, the question is when do we go for it? I mean... Hinansho hasn't taken off quite yet and with you about to go to Paris, it don't make sense to rush it." 

"True." He spoke against her temple. 

"I say we play things out by ear and see where it goes. Either way... no matter how long it takes... Kyou will eventually become apart of our family."

"Mm."

"You ready to share our world with him?" He glided his lips down her cheek. 

"Our world will always remain with the two of us. Now, we have to create another one in which he exists. For that day, I'll gladly wait." 

"Kay." 

*** 

Fingers drifted across the pages of an old aged letter. If there was any chance of finalizing the work she couldn't complete, she'd take it. Time and time again, she had failed and he'd put her in her place. But, perhaps if she teamed up with her, things would turn out better. Two were better than one. Smiling with a sigh, eyes drifted upwards to the most recent picture from their latest photoshoot. Quite an odd couple indeed. But hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

***

"Onii-sama?" Eyes found young but beautiful brown ones looking at him. 

"Hm?" 

"You look sad..." Licking his lips, he smiled and lifted to place a hand on the top of the boy's head. 

"Mm..." He shook his head, eyes gentle. 

"You are sad about something... Is it Rae-san?" He looked at Kyouta, smile struggling not to falter. 

"Why do you say that?" 

"Onii-sama...I might be young but I'm not stupid. I see with my eyes..." Pulling the boy against him, he chuckled softly. 

"Yes indeed you do. Okay...so Onii-sama is sad... why do you think that is?" Kyou sighed and shrugged. 

"I don't know...but I don't want you two to be sad." 

"Don't worry about any of that Kyou. Rae and I will be just fine." He pouted and nodded. 

"Okay good. Now, let's go have fun today... you and me. Hm?" 

"Mm." Helping the boy into his coat and his winter boots, they left Ayako into a car. 

*** 

"I'm home." 

"Hey babe." Stepping into the foyer, he slid out of his shoes and came into the living room, briefcase hanging behind his back. 

"I'm tired as hell." Smiling, she got off of the couch and went to pull the briefcase out of his hand. 

"Gon get settled and comfy. I wanna hear about your day."

"Mm..."  He disappeared into their bedroom and soon re-appeared and sat down next to her on the couch. 

"So?" 

"I spent a couple hours with Kyou-kun."

"Oh really?"

"Mm. He is quite the inquisitive child."

"What he do?" 

"He asked about you." He said, gently laying a hand on her knee. 

"Me?" She blinked, uncurling her legs to place them across his lap. 

"Yeah. He said I looked sad."

"Aw babe..."

"Yeah. I told him not to worry." 

"He's too young to think about adult things."

"Yes that is true."

"Are you sad?" He sighed heavily and lifted his hand to drift through his kempt hair. 

"Far from sad."

"Then what?" 

"Angry."

"Emi?"

"Yeah."  She licked her lips. 

"Truth be told, I'm mad as hell about the fact she really tried it. But, what can we do?" 

"I have an idea but you have to hear me out on it."

"Shoot."

"Without question, I am going to up security. I don't want to let the rat wander where she's not supposed to. I want you safe." She nodded at the passion in his voice. 

"I thought about postponing my trip to Paris. But, I've decided against it." Her eyebrows lifted. 

"Word?"

"Kuribahara Emi doesn't deserve that much control and influence in our lives. She's watching us so let's give her something to watch." She was quiet as he lifted her foot to his mouth. 

"I want her to watch you and I be successful. I want her to witness the great things we are and will do together and I want it to destroy her." Breathless, she could only nod again. Kissing her arch, he put her foot back onto his lap. 

"My idea is that while I go to Paris, you resume business as per usual. I don't want you to think that I am acting as if I am your father but I will not allow her to harm you. That's out of the damn question." Clearing her throat, she schooched closer and played with his hair. 

"I ain't complainin baby. You gotta do what you gotta do and so do I. Whatever decision you think is best, I'll support it." He relaxed some, leaning his head back against the couch cushion. 

"Then it's settled." 

"I'm glad you got to enjoy time with Kyou. He really appreciated it I'm sure."

"Mm. Seeing him is truly a pleasure." She smiled and leaned in to press a gentle kiss to his lips.

"Welp, now that that's what we doin, I guess we can relax some huh?"

"Mm." 

*** 

Everything carried on as per usual and it was driving her crazy. It was if her actions didn't mean a damn thing and it was infuriating her. She thought she was so fucking perfect bcause she had gotten him. It was beginning to feel as though she was losing her mind. If it was for Hiroto, then so be it. 

*** 

The next couple days before his departure from Japan had been some of the busiest yet and she wasn't ready to let him go just yet. But all the while those damn scars man... they had been burning her something fierce. Quite strange that after her ambush they had started up. Never before had they burned and it was alarmingly growing more and more intense. She snuggled against Roto's back, bare and warm. Sighing, she smiled and lifted fingers to touch the deep line that rested down his back. Her big sleepin baby...he'd been working mad hard.  

After everything that had happened with Emi, there had been a noticeable change in him. Ice had crept back across his heart completely and unless they were alone... he was cold and emotionless. It made her sad. She knew that he tried to keep composure and that he did very well. But the emotional distance just made her heart ache. Emi didn't deserve that either. She wanted the warmth to come back... just a little bit. Sighing, she kissed the smooth skin underneath her. She was right to want it to be only them two. The world still was not ready for them. 

She swallowed and slid away from him. Truth be told, Emi was all she could think about lately and it was driving her nuts. It didn't make any God given sense. A part of her wanted to track the bitch down and dump her in a remote lake. But then again, she understood that Emi would probably consider that triumph. Fingers eager to touch, they reached forward and pressed against his skin. She'd pretty much kept quiet about it all... she didn't protest as he upped security and made sure someone was with her at all times while at work. She kept quiet as the media outlets started buzzing once again, tryna get the next big scandal out of them. But, inside she was brimming with emotion and sooner than later it was going to explode. 

Getting up from him, she slid into one of his shirts and left him to sleep. There was something she had to do about all this cause it was going to make her go crazy. Keeping it together for the kids was one thing. But, she needed to let it all out. A good cup of tea and phone convo with Amee was straight ahead and long overdue. 

 

***

His day had been going well. He didn't know why it had to be ruined in such a cruel way but it most certainly had been and there was no going back from it. Having from lunch, he had just gotten settled in his chair when it happened. 

"It's been a long time Hiroto." Looking up from the documents he was reading, he felt his blood grow cold. The woman formerly known as Iwase Eri stood in front of him, a devious smile painted on her face. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"I can't come to see my own son?" 

"You know as well as I that you are not welcome here." 

"I missed you Hibiki." He slowly stood from his desk, smoothly sliding hands into his pockets. 

"Don't call me that. It's not your right." Her eyes traveled down him. 

"You look identical to your father in his younger years. I've done well." He swallowed tightly, the faintest trace of annoyance on his face.

"You are wasting my time Mizu Hada." The woman laughed mirthlessly. 

"So now I am simply Mizu Hada. Frankly, you could call me an old bitch for all I care.  However, no matter what you call me, I will always remain your mother. Don't you dare forget that." He was quiet as she looked around his office. 

"You've done so well for yourself Hiroto. I'm so proud of you."  

"Surely, I am making Obaa-chan proud." Not what she wanted to hear, she twisted up her lips, settling eyes on the ring on his finger. 

"I see you finally married that little black girl."

"And you are still alive to have heard about it." 

"Kiko wasn't enough?"

"She didn't deserve the crown or the throne." She snorted, rolling her eyes. 

"You are a man of your word." 

"The promises I made you I will fulfill." She laughed, clucking her tongue. 

"My, what bite you have in your voice Hiroto."

"Enough. If you are done, I advise you to swiftly return to your point of exile."  The woman smiled once more. 

"Spoken like a true Iwase. It's sad things had to come to this point...but I want you to know that everything I have done as your mother....everything I have sacrificed... it was all and only always for you. You are my son and I love you."

"You forfeit that title when you tried to murder me." The woman he observed had grown frail once again but dressed in a rather fashionable skirt suit. She hadn't lost her touch nor grace. Hair salt and pepper, it had been pulled up into an elegant coif. For a moment, it seemed as if exile had never happened and she had never left his side...a fragment of a reality built on lies. 

"Hiroto...son..."

"We're done here." His gaze didn't waver as he met hers, the expression within his cold as ice.

"I am not sure who allowed you to roam free but rest assured it will never happen again. Return to your sentence."

"Before I go I would like to say this to you: Proceed very carefully in the near future."  He frowned deeply, eying her as she sighed, once more looking him over. 

"Excuse me?"

"Goodbye Hiroto. For now." Without his knowledge, his hands had curled into fists and they began to shake. What did she mean by that? What was she planning? 

End Notes:

A/N 5/21/18: HEY FAM! I DIDN'T LIKE HOW THIS CHAPTER WAS WRITTEN SO I TOOK IT DOWN AND EDITED SOME! I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

A/N 10/4/18 I took the intimate scene out for now. Onwards we go! D&L

 

A/N: WHEW! HELLOO LOL. IT GOT GROWN AND SEXY IN HERE LIKE THAT *snaps fingers* A lot has happened in this chapter! First and foremost, not only has AIko popped back in the picture, but the two chicks we never wanted to see again... Emi Kuribahara and Mizu Hada otherwise known as Eri Iwase! It was only a matter of time before Emi showed back up being that she has just got outta jail and all. Her time was up. Mizu Hada shoulda stayed locked away so I wonder who is helping her. And just who is this dude outside being a total creep takin pictures of our lovely babies?! R&R finally start talking about adopting Kyouta!   And in the time that has passed since their honeymoon, Rae has created something new and wonderful that is sure to change many more young lives ahead! I wanted to upload this on Valentine's Day but I can't and won't rush any of my creativity so I (as always) took my time. <3 When Rae and Roto make love, I want it to read and move, flow and groove as poetry...like a beautiful intense and sexy dance, like you are getting a getting a peek into their special world that they have created. The thing I love most about R&R is that they are not afraid to butt heads. In reality, I think that having such an attractive husband, chicks would and will flock to him BECAUSE he IS married. You know how that go. That scene clear as day gave me chills. Hiroto is a very strong man. He's half her height and angry yet he doesn't do her the way he did Emi. (Even though he very well could but we all know Hiroto would NEVER put hands on Rae.) It's an intentional contrast between the two, further to prove Rae's point in talking with Emi's trifling ass earlier. 

By the way, who the HECK does what Emi pulled? Like how freaky and obsessed are you to record you doing the do with him? And then as if that proves something, manipulates the suroundings to get Rae to walk right in to see it. That's crazy as hell LOL. Trust and believe, I have the perfect ending for her ass lol. Okay enough of that for now family! I am continuing to write and thinking of you all! I hope that you are well and that God blesses each and every one of you reading! Love you all! Take care, God bless and until next time, 

Sunhalo17 <3 

 

OH! Here are some pics/gifs inspiring the chapter: 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nucleus by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

“Hurry up Roto! Bundled up in her big winter coat, earmuffs on, Rae looked up at him as he came to lay a hand on her big gorgeous hair. Smiling, he eyed his father who stood on the engawa, a thick kimono adorned his body. He felt the smallest shred of excitement thrum through him.

“Why don’t you go inside with him and warm up?” 

“‘kay.” Nose red as Rudolph, she lifted on her tip toes for a kiss. He pecked her sweetly before watching her head inside, sliding the shoji shut. Sliding hands into his pockets, he lifted his eyes to the dark night sky, snow falling quietly from above. The air was clear and crystal, the stars twinkling as always. The next few weeks were some of the longest what with an abrupt move to another apartment. It had been so long since he’d visited the grounds. Since they’d visited together. He could feel his grandmother’s warmth instantly upon setting eyes on the house. Baa-chan….we’re home. Sighing heavily, he stepped up onto the engawa, soon melting into the heat of the hearth.

***

Off in the dimly lit room, she stood a blanket around her. An old kamado faced her and upon glancing at it, she smiled. Not too far away were her love and father in law. Shou was adamant about them staying with him for the last remaining weeks until the new year and she was glad that they both acquiesced. Being in his grandmother’s home, she felt a sense of peace and calm while everything around her bust apart at the seams. Only this place could have such an effect. Sighing, she came to stand in front of the shoji, the winter air crisp and chilling. The sound of shoji opening drew her attention away from her thoughts. 

“Rae, why are you still up?” Turning, she found Roto in cozy pajamas, an off grey haori covering him.

“I don’t know…I just can’t sleep…” Arms came around her and lips pressed against her jaw. 

“Want me to tuck you in?” Smiling softly, she looked up at him, lifting her finger to poke his forehead. 

“You bein funny and Ion appreciate it.” He chuckled. 

“I’m not being funny. I mean it.”

“Okay then…fine. Maybe then I go to sleep.” He led her to a plush futon, blankets and pillows ready to be attacked. Sighing, she fell on top of said pillows and curled up into a ball. 

“What’s on your mind babe?” He asked, coming to sit beside her. 

“Are you feeling okay? I mean… I know we just suddenly came to Nara.”

“Yeah! I’m excited… it’s been so long since I’ve been here.” 

“Yeah I know. It’s good for you to be home again.” She blushed and nodded. He bit his lip and came close enough to sit in front of her. She lifted fingers to a small emblem that rested right below his shoulder. 

“This is new. What’s this?” Smiling softly, he pressed her hand flat against it. 

“It’s my family crest.”

“Whoa…” 

“In Japanese, we call it mon.” She glanced at the other one on his other shoulder. 

“It looks like a bird…” 

“Mm. There are three cranes.” 

“Oh…”

“Do you know what the crane means?” She shook her head, her cute expression of cluelessness making him chuckle again. 

“Cranes are fabled to live a thousand years. With three, it is to say that my family will live on forever so to speak. Luck, happiness, good fortune… all of these things also apply.” 

“Cool.” He pulled her to lay down beside him. 

“I’m tired of talking about all of this.” Looking up into his eyes, she felt warm as he leaned down to kiss her nose. 

“Want me to sing you a lullaby?” His voice was quiet and warm and she melted instantly. 

“Mmhm…” Her eyes closed as he softly began to sing, lips kissing her temple. His mellifluous voice soothed her, calm and comforting. His fingers lovingly caressed her hair, in a way that reminded her of pure love. Feeling herself drift to sleep, she felt one last kiss reach her lips. 

“Sleep well beloved.” 

 

***

“Flight 0239 scheduled for Paris, France now boarding.” She felt heavy in her chest as she watched him lean to pick up his bags. The past few weeks had flew by and she wasn’t sure if she could keep up. Holding her face in his hands, he leaned down to kiss her not once…not twice…but three times and the last one was the sweetest one. 

“Roto don’t go….” His eyes held sadness but he just wrapped his arms around her and pulled her as close as humanly possible. 

“It’ll only be for a little while baby.” Eyes grown watery, she pouted. 

“I know but still…” Wiping her cheeks, he smiled gently.

“Don’t be sad Rae…where’s my smile?” The waterworks were about to break free but she held it together… barely. Giving him a little smile, the pout was back right after. His laugh sent flutters across her skin. 

“There’s my girl.” Crossing her arms, she sucked her teeth, pout enlarging. 

“Gon get on ya plane and call me when you get there.”

“I will babe.”

“Okay….””

“Gimme another kiss.” Lifting her chin, she stood on her tip toes and kissed him… not once.. not twice.. but three times. At the end, she watched him get on the plane and once it took off, then and only then did she cry. She supposed it was a combination of a lot of things that had transpired in the past few weeks. With Roto damn near closing up and acting funny towards the people around them, to the impending tasks that was stacked up on her desk.. all of it was overbearing. 

A feeling of uncertainty bubbled in her chest but she pushed it down as she lifted a hand to wipe the tears away. It was only two weeks. She could handle that. Turning, she made her way back through the airport, heading towards the parking lot. Now wasn't the time to boo hoo about Roto. She had a larger task that needed all her attention. And God help her, she was sweating bullets about it all. 

***

Admist the nervousness, three days had past since Hiroto had been gone and she’d been uncomfortably trying to fit into her newest role. Iwase-san. Madame President. Titles she’d never before been called. To say she felt intimidation wasn’t quite accurate. Rather, a sense of inability smacked her in the face. It frustrated her. She didn’t know where the uncertainty was comin from all of a sudden. She knew she was more than capable of doing what needed to be done. She’d done it before. 

It was something about this time though. The pressure was higher. The stakes were higher. She was Iwase Rae, a business woman. She was Iwase Rae, wife to one of the most influential men in the Eastern world. So folks kept reminding her. She felt all of the pressure and it didn’t feel great. But either way, she had to regroup. She had to get herself together because she didn’t have time to start doubting herself. She wanted to prove to all the haters that she didn’t need Hiroto to hold her hand. She could and would do this and she’d do it all on her own. 

“Iwase-san?”

“Yes?”

“Your next appointment is ready for you.”

“Ah, thank you.”

***

She had awakened to a bare chest and a sliver of pale sunlight. Warmth surrounded her and she indulged in it a little longer before pulling away from him.  Smiling to herself, she watched as he groaned and turned into her pillow, nuzzling the pillow sheet.  Slipping into his haori, she quietly left the room, carefully shutting the shoji. Coming to pause on the engawa, she felt herself grow breathless. Snow covered the beautiful ornate stones leading up to the deck and the many trees and lovingly cared for schrubs. She sighed  in contentment. Surely, this was just a sliver of heaven. That God could create such beauty. She tightened  her arms around herself. 

Being here was healing. It was everything she needed. His grandmother’s home would always be a space where she could just be. The wind picked up as if to say “Welcome back.” The events leading up to this break was bound to make her head hurt if she dwelled on it long enough so she wouldn’t. For now, she’d just enjoy her time like this. When she was a teenager, this place had been full of people and she’d only gone where Hana or Hiroto had gone. But now, with him sleeping and Shou probably off somewhere privately, she could explore some. Grinning to herself, she began to walk down the engawa, curious to see what all was to be found. 

***

Chatter surrounded him and he stepped out briefly into a small enclave, the beginnings of snow flittering from the sky. Christmas was right around the corner, fall had come and gone and now the world had been left with an almost bitter cold. Sighing, he balled his hands into fists and the urge to smoke hit him in his stomach. He missed Rae. It hadn’t been but three days and already he missed her. 

He knew she was nervous to be on her own. But, he wasn’t a fool. Rae was a beast and she had a way of getting things done that made even the most seasoned businessman shiver. Everybody wanted to see what Shoutoii would do next and was so excited for the works being planned for the future. Here in Paris, he was trying to expand their territory. Sighing, he slid fingers through his hair and stepped back into the boardroom. 

“Hiro, glad you’re back! We have a plethora of questions!” He found an executive sitting across from him, hands tightly pressed together. Clearing his throat, he straightened his posture.

“I thank you for your questions and I am glad to answer them.” 

“Great! What exactly is Hinansho composed of? And…is this a creation of your wife in its entirety or is it a collaboration?” Standing, he went to the projector screen and began to present. Mindful of the sometimes unequal circumstances dealt to women in the business realm, he made it his business to give her her due credit. He knew the assumptions and the misconceptions. By the time he was done, he’d have these fellows ready to partner.

***

Staring at the electronic model on the computer screen, she pinched the bridge of her nose. Sooner than she’d liked, the week had breezed through with the quickness and she couldn’t seem to get any of it the way she wanted. She wanted Hinansho to be perfect. So much yet to do, she took a deep breath before stretching, lifting her fingers above her head. Bringing her vision to life was harder than it looked. 

Blowing up a few loose curls away form her face, she sighed. She had to get on the phone with some prominent leaders in the major hubs of the country and see if they would like to promote the latest chapter in the media and on the television waves. Coming to stare at the model again, she slowly stood and gathered her things. this would be amazing when it was all finished. So many souls lost would come to be found.

Yawning, she closed her computer and gathered her things. It had been a long day. She needed to go home and soak in a tub full of bubbles and epsom salt. Stepping out into the hall, she began to make her way towards the main lobby. 

“Good night Mrs. Iwase.” Smiling to the other retiring employees, she bowed her head. 

“Good night.” When she finally made it downstairs, she kindly thanked the security that had escorted her. 

“Thank you for accompanying me tonight.”

“It’s our sincerest pleasure Mrs. Iwase.”

“Please…call me Rae.” 

“We will escort you outside to your vehicle.”

“Sure.” Once she’d locked up everything, she bowed before them. 

“I appreciate you.”

“Have a wonderful night and please be safe.” With a friendly smile, she waved as she took off.

***

After the latest meeting had adjourned, he headed towards the next meeting on his agenda and finally after a long days’s work he leaned against his car door and lit the prize of his labor, glow orange. Sighing in relief, he lifted his eyes towards the sky, the stars bright and white. The large expanse reminded him of home… a home he wanted to fly back to. In awe, he watched as it began to snow, large puffy petals drifting from above. Winter’s first snow. The crisp cold in the air spoke of a long bitter winter on the horizon. But oh how beautiful it was. Breath formed in the air and he took another long drag on his cigarette. I wonder what Rae’s doing right now. Opening the door, he slid inside and reached for his phone. Dialing her number, he licked his lips as the phone rang.

***


After a nice long soak in the tub, she had just turned on the television when her phone rang. Taking a breath she answered.  

“Hello?”

“Hey baby.” Smile instantaneously on her face, she laid back on the bed. 

“Hey.”

“What are you doing?” 

“Laying on our bed, fresh from the bathtub.”

“Is that right?” 

“Mmhm.”

“Mm.”  His voice sent flutters of warmth right in between her thighs. Biting her lips, she squeezed them together.

“What are you doin?”

“Currently on my way back to the hotel. Been a long day.” 

“Same here.” She heard a car door shut.

“I miss you Rae.”

“I miss you too baby.” 

“I’m ready to come home.”

“Aw…is it that bad?” 

“No, I’m just being a whiny brat.” That brought a chuckle to her and she tsked.

“Aw baby…you’re cute.” She could practically see his pout and turned to press her face against his pillow. 

“How’ve you been? I know you’ve had a lot on your plate as of late babe.” She sighed deeply. 

“It’s…getting there. Not quite where I want it but it’s going. I always had respect for what you do but damn bae. You make it look easy.”

“Don’t start underestimating yourself. You can handle this Rae.” 

“…”

“You’re the hardest working woman I know baby. Take your time and don’t frustrate yourself.” Feeling her heart swell. she took a shaky breath before inhaling his scent.

“Thank you babe.”

“We’re in this together Rae. If you need anything from me, you tell me.”

“O-okay….” She felt her cheeks grow warm. 

“I appreciate you…so much Roto.” 

“That’s what I’m here for.”  She bit her lip with a smile. 

“How’s it going in Paris?”

“Everyone loves the idea of Hinansho. They can’t wait until you finish preparing it. As of now, it’s safe to say that we have future partnerships here in France.” 

She shot up in bed, grin ear to ear. 

“That’s awesome… oh my gosh!”

“Contrary to what you may believe, the people here adore you.” She felt her cheeks grow hot. 

“Wow.”

“You’re not just anybody Rae.”

“Yeah…”  She was quiet and nibbled on her lip. 

”I know at a time like this it’s hard not to…but don’t let my name swallow you up Rae. Regardless of what others might think… you were somebody before you met me and your greatness speaks for itself. With or without me.” 

“I love you babe. You just so damn inspiriin.”

“I love you too. Keep that head and chin up.”

“I will…”

“Promise?”

“I promise. I’ll be all right.”

“Good. That’s my girl.” She sighed, a long dramatic breath. 

“I guess we should be gettin to bed now huh? It’s growing later and later.” His warm chuckle heat her heart. 

“Unfortunately…”

“Talk to you soon?”

“Talk to you soon anata.” 

“ Love you.”

“I love you too babe. Sweet dreams.”

 

***

He groaned into the pillow and slowly, his eyes opened. He sighed, seeing that she was gone. Grateful she hadn’t waken him, he curled up into the covers.  He’d worked his ass off lately and his body reminded him brutally that he needed rest. He wanted to get up but his body stayed put. There was no rush… not here. He could indulge in sleep as long as he wanted to. Here he gave himself permission. Rolling over to his other side, he yawned and slowly went back to sleep. 

 

*** 

She’d gotten lost. Down the long narrow hallways in his grandmother’s home, she had found herself in a room, staring at a life sized picture of what appeared to be his grandma holding a a long slender pole, a large curved blade sat at the top. Stepping gingerly into the room, she quietly closed the shoji. Whoa. Roto never told her that his grandma was a real live badass. Smiling, she sighed as she came closer to the picture. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree so she was far from surprised. She looked to be only 15 or 16 years old. Dressed in dark hakama and a white gi, her hair had been pulled up and away from her face, in a large topknot. The expression on her face was one of the most intense seriousness and focus. 

Glancing to the right of her, she eyed the weapon she held encased in glass next to the picture. Drawing closer, she pressed her fingers against the glass, the handwritten script below neat and prompt. She quickly discovered the name of the fascinating weapon. Naginata. Interesting. Warmth flooded her and she pulled away, looking at the woman in the picture. In what would come, she had to be strong. Like she did before her. She had no other choice. 

Just as she closed the shoji, she looked up into the face of Shou. How did he always seem to know where they were? It was kinda uncanny. At her surprised expression, he bowed, apology in his face. 

“I did not mean to startle you my dear.”

“Oh…”

“I was just watching the snow fall.” 

“Yeah it’s been snowing a lot as of late huh?”

“Want to join me?” She smiled politely. 

“Sure.” They went to the edge of the engawa and sat down, her a slight ways from him. 

“I’m glad you two decided to visit.” She smiled. 

“Me too.”

“Have you fared well? The last time I saw you was at the wedding.” She blushed. 

“Ah… yeah…I’ve been good Shou-sama. Working as usual. Hiroto’s been working as usual. We’re just really busy.” He nodded a bit. 

“Rae,”

“Yeah?”

“What’d I tell you about ‘Shou-sama’? Call me father…” She blushed a deeper shade of red. 

“O-Oh…uh…yeah s-sorry. It’s a habit I guess.” He laughed and the sound of it was musical. 

‘I’m teasing my dear. I know it will take some time. It doesn’t bother me.” 

“‘Kay…” 

“I understand you two have been working a lot. But have you taken time for yourselves?” 

“Ah…N-no…we’ve been too busy.” Shou clucked his tongue. 

“Nonsense. You must find time for yourselves. Work will kill you if you indulge in it too much.”

“Mm…”

“Have you two…had a lack of imtimacy?” At that, her face grew cherry red and she felt her mouth grow dry. 

“Um….”

“Father stop embarrassing my wife.” They turned to find Roto standing against the corner wall, arms crossed and chiding frown on his face. 

“Aha…I wasn’t embarrassing her Hiroto. I asked an innocent question.”

“No…you want to know when you’ll get grandchildren.”

“Naturally! I’m not getting any younger and you’re a fool if you prioritize work over a beautiful woman such as this.” At that, his cheeks turned red. 

“I-It’s not…like that Father.”

“No?”

“We’ve been through a lot over these past couple months…Rae and I have a lot we’re trying to do…”

“Hmph. Well…you should try to do each other more…” The embarrassment flushed her face and she looked up at Hiroto who equally had grown red as a whistle, mouth gaped open. 

“Father!” 

“What? We’re all adults here.” Shou said with an unapologetic grin. 

When Rae and I are ready for kids, trust me… you’ll be the first to know.”

“Good. Practice enough and you’ll be ready.” 

Oh my God…Roto get yo daddy.” Shou snickered like a mischievious child before getting up. 

“Since we’re all up, I’ll make breakfast.”

“I was going to do that Father.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Pursing him lips, Roto watched his father cackle as he disappeared down the hall. 

“I swear Shou be getting more and more bold….” 

“Tell me about it.”  He came to sit beside her. 

“Have you been up long?” He asked, sliding a couple strands of hair away from her face. 

“Maybe an hour tops. You was sleepin so good I ain’t wanna wake you.” 

“I appreciate that.” He said, pressing lips against her temple. 

“You ain’t get no time to rest…”

“You either.”

“Yeah bein out here don made me sleepy again.”

“Well, after you eat breakfast sleep the whole day if you want to.”

“Mm.”

“This is our time babe. Our time to relax and unwind.” She sighed deeply, a big smile on her face. 

“That sound so nice.”

“You deserve it.”  He kissed the top of her nose and she lifted her face to let him kiss her on the lips. Yeah…she deserved it. They deserved it and so much more. 

*** 

With his trip starting to wind down, he mussed his hair with a sigh. It was good that things were quiet back home.  He enjoyed the silence but a part of him couldn’t help but feel uneasy. The words of his meddling mother and Emi stuck in the back of his mind and he couldn’t ignore it. After being married almost a full year, you would think they’d surrender. But then they never could just surrender. That was not who either one of them were.  

Sighing, he slid hands into his pockets as he headed towards the exit. If he were being honest with himself…he felt guilty. In fact, it hit him in the stomach like a punch to the gut. Why? Because sometimes he felt he came on like he owned Rae and he didn’t want her to think that. She hadn’t said anything about it… never complained. He came off too strong sometimes…he knew that. She was his priority and he wanted to protect every cell in her body. Too many people are trying to weasel their way into our world. That he didn’t like. 

He hadn’t said anything to her yet…about just how much everything was bothering him. Emi bothered him like nobody’s business and he hated that she brought up old feelings and old ways. The old Hiroto…the one who wanted to crush her into pieces. The one who do just that and not give a shit. He hated the fact that his mother still made his mind run miles on minutes. This is why we need a break. I need a break. 

Having made his way back to the hotel, he made his way upstairs. He needed to unwind some, relax a little bit. Undoing his tie, he licked his lips. There was a nice hotel bar on the penthouse level so maybe he’d go for a drink. It was that or smoke and as of late he was doing that too much entirely. So, drink it was. He needed to call Tobu. It’d been a hell of a time since they’d spoken. He stayed in a completely different department and oftentimes traveled to other branches during his work day, so yeah that’d be the best way to end his evening. 

After a quick shower, he put on some sweats and a t-shirt and headed upstairs.With drink in hand, he reached for his phone. After a little while, he answered. 

“Hello?”

“Tobu,”

“Hiroto-kun! What’s up man!” He chuckled, a slow smile soon appearing. 

“Nothing much. How are you?”

“I’m good bro. Good to hear from you!”

“Yeah man you know how it gets.”

“Hell yeah..” 

“How is everything coming along? Seems like you took well to your position.” He could envision Tobu’s boyish grin as he spoke. 

“You set me up Hiro-kun. But that’s all right. I like it. I’m sure you already knew that though.”

“I’m not saying anything but good. Glad you like it. Glad you stayed.” He knew Shoutoii would be where Tobu called home… eventually. It provided just the right amount of challenge for him and he was brilliantly discovering and rediscovering new things… already. 

“Mmhm…where are you?”

“Paris.”

“Where’s my little lady?” 

“She’s back home being boss lady.”

“Oh shit..okay. I’m loving the power couple vibe you two got going on.”

“Yeah. Gotta be on top of our game.”

“And you do it so well. Expansion time I take it?” 

“Yeah.”

“Alright then. I like the sound of that.” He grew quiet as he took a drink. 

“What have you been up to To-chan?” 

“Nothing much. Just busy rearranging the files that are all messed up by the way. Whoever handled these before me didn’t know what they were doing.” 

“I figured. My father didn’t have the patience to go through them all so he abandoned it.” 

“Well, it’ll take me a while but I’ll get it all in order Hiro-kun.”

“I know you will and I appreciate you.”

“Other than being busy, I still have no girlfriend, am not married and my parents are being a major pain in my ass about it.” He snort. 

“You’re young yet, why are they still nagging you about it?”

“They have this idyllic vision of a nice proper Japanese wife who comes from money and raised right. But I’m trying to figure myself out first you know? I’m trying to get my shit together first.” 

“I totally understand man. Believe me.”

“They are gonna have to wait. That’s all there is to it.”

“Mm.”

“Say Hiro-kun…is your family having their annual Christmas gathering in Nara this year?” 

“Yeah.”

“I see.”

“Why?”

“Well, I kinda wanted to do something with you me and Rae this year.” 

“Ah… what about New Year’s? My family doesn’t usually do a big gathering for New Year’s.” 

“Alright then…perfect!”

“It’s a plan then.”

“Mm.” Things were pleasantly quiet between the two but the need to release the pent up events of late bubbled on his tongue. Truth was, he needed Tobu’s advice. It had never failed him. 

“To-chan,”

“Mm?” 

“I have to tell you something…some things that have happened as of late.” 

“…okay.” 

“Emi showed up again.” There was a loud scoff on the other end and he could hear Tobu swearing underneath his breath. 

“What’d the hell she want?” Lifting fingers up to massage his temples, he exhaled greatly.

“Take a guess.”

“A whole bunch of stuff that’s too exhausting to go through.”

“Mm.” 

“She has to be stopped by any means necessary.” 

“I know that.”

“I won’t tolerate her harrassing you two anymore. That’s out of the question.”

“It’s too late for that.”

“And you haven’t called the police?”

“No.”

“Why Hiroto?”

“If she wants to play one final game with me, I’m definitely down to play with her.”

“No man, no…that’s what she wants. Don’t you get it? She gets off on your anger. She’s a sick twisted bitch.”  Eyes glanced down at his glass, almost empty of its whiskey. 

“However that may be…I promise you this Tobu. If anything happens to Rae because of her, I’ll squeeze every ounce of life out of her.”  Tobu inhaled deeply. 

“I know Hiro. But you must come up with a better way to dispose of her. Think how unhappy Rae would be if you did something stupid like that. Do you think she would forgive you?” Closing his eyes, he tightened his jaw. 

“No…she wouldn’t.”

“Okay then. So, we need to do something else.” 

“Like?”

“I don’t know yet but we’ll figure it out.”

“What of my mother then? She has made her appearance as well…”

“What?!”

“She came to Shoutoii, dressed how she used to.  It was unsettling.”

“Did she say anything to you?”

“She warned me to be careful.”

“Be careful? What is she talking about?”

“That’s the thing. I don’t know and it’s driving me insane. Somebody helped her visit me and I want to know who. I want to know what the hell she has up her sleeve.” 

“Enough is damn enough already. You two have been through too much to let this shit set you back. Listen to me Hiroto. Right now, you need to focus on your wife. Focus on her and focus on you. Everything else will fall in place.” Lifting fingers, he slid them through his hair. 

“You’re right.”

“Your job is to make Rae happy okay? Fuck the rest of them.” 

“Yeah…”

“You know I’m here for you and for Rae.”

“Thanks Tobu. I’ll let you know what we decide.”

“Please do.”

“Thank you To-chan.”

“No problem brother.” 

“I guess I’ll talk to you soon then.”

“Okay. Take care of Rae and most importantly, take care of yourself Hiroto-kun.” 

“I will.”

“Catch you later.”  Hanging up, he finished what little drink he had left and sighed heavily. He needed that conversation and Tobu didn’t disappoint. For now, he needed rest and a clear mind. Standing up, he slid some money on the bar and headed downstairs. He definitely had a lot to think about indeed. 

 

*** 

“Ooh! This looks good Otou-sama!” Shou waved the compliment off with a gentle smile. 

“Come let’s eat.” The three gathered around a kotatsu, the warmth underneath it pleasantly melting the cold away. 

“Itadakimasu!” The two men said eagerly before digging in. 

“Itadakimasu! And bless the hands of the cook.” Rae added with a wink. 

“Amen babe.” Roto said with his mouth already full. 

“Boy…” She said with a laugh before picking up her hashi.  

 

***

“Madame President, should we turn down this street?” 

“Yes. Please.” 

The urge to see Kyouta had grown more and more over the past couple sayd, enough to the point where she traveled to Ayako as much as she could just to see him. Yes, the other children were a priority of hers too but that there boy made her heart flutter. He always seemed happy to see her and she was proud to say that she had seen an even bigger change in his behavior than before. Teachers told her that he was focusing better in their classes and even scored with passing marks on their science and math tests. 

Feeling her chest swell with pride, she asked the driver to stop at one of the nearby toy stores. Done with her tasks for the day, she left work a tad early just so she could surprise him. 

“I’ll be right back.” Stepping out, she hurried into the shop. She knew he liked to build things. Greeted by the attendant, she helped her select the perfect gift. Smiling to herself, she purchased and got back into the car. She thought about him and how he would spend the upcoming Christmas season. She’d run it by Roto but she’d love to have a special gathering with the three of them. Maybe take him to eat and play in one of the winter wonderland parks around town. Kyou was so precious to her and she wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone. He was loved and he was valued. 

Once they pulled up to Ayako, she quickly entered the building. Peeking into the great playroom, she caught him amongst some other kids. He looked a bit awkward as the other children laughed and joked around him but he was trying…He pointed at a childish sculpture he’d made. 

“If you like that, look at this. I made it.” The kids turned and some of their eyes grew big as saucers. 

“Wahhh! Kyouta, you’re cool!” The boy’s cheeks grew warm and red but he only nodded meekly. 

“Kyouta, there is someone who is here to see you.”  One of the adults interrupted gently, pulling his attention away from the kids. Turning, he met her eyes. 

“Rae-san!”  She smiled and opened her arms as he ran into them.

“How are you Kyou-chan?”

“I’m happy you’re here.” She felt her heart combust into a million butterflies and laughed softly. 

“Me too! I’ve missed you.” He pulled back, cheeks rosy. 

“I missed you too Rae-san.” 

“I missed all of you guys! How are you doing today?” She greeted the other children with a beaming smile. 

“Good Rae-san! Thank you for coming!”

“My pleasure!” 

“Where is Onii-sama?” He asked, looking around. 

“He’s working in another country right now.” 

“Ah…”

“Kyou-chan…I have something for you.”

“Me?” He pointed at himself. 

“Mm.”

“Why?” If he didn’t look so cute asking she would have felt a real way. Why shouldn’t he receive good things?

“Because you are special to me. And to Onii-sama.” 

“Oh…” Taking his hand, she led him out into the hallway. 

“I know how much you like to build things… use your hands and all. So, when I saw this I thought it was the perfect thing.”  His eyes lit up and he slowly approached the large decorative bag sitting on a bench. Looking back at her hesitantly, she urged him on. He gingerly grabbed the bag and reached inside it to find a large box. 

“Whoa…” She’d bought him a 480 piece building set with all the bells and whistles. Sure to last him quite a long while, she was tickled pink at his reaction to it. Holding it up, he gawked, mouth wide open. 

“Rae-san…you…you didn’t have to buy this for me.”  Coming closer, she gently laid a hand on the top of his head. 

“I wanted to. Besides, the look on your face is everything. Do you like it?”

“Mm.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

“Thank you.” Turning, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. 

“You’re welcome Kyou-chan.” 

***

“Mrs. Iwase?”

“Yes?”

“A Mr. Takamasa Iwase is here to see you.” Blinking, she sat at her desk mad quiet. Takamasa? What in the world…

“Mrs. Iwase, should I let him enter?” A million things ran through her head but she swallowed tightly and nod. Clenching her fingers tight, she waited until he gave a ginger knock. 

“Enter.” Peeking his head in, he smiled. 

“Rae?

“Yeah….how can I help you?” He stepped into the room fully and bowed. 

“Wow…busy lady you are. I thought I was going to have to make an appointment.” She didn’t laugh or smile, her eyes taking him in curiously. 

“Ah…how rude of me. Hi.” 

“Hi.”

“Your Japanese has gotten so good… you sound fluent.”

“Thanks…” There was a long awkward silence that ensued and her mind was racing tryna figure out why Takamasa was here. 

“Would you like to converse in English?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

“What makes you come by? It’s been a long time since we last seen each other.” He slid his hands into his pockets and balled his lips, the dimples akin to his cousin’s deepening. 

“I wanted to see how you were doing…I mean like you said it’s been a long time since we last saw each other.”

“Mmhm…”

“With Hiro out of the country, I just figured I’d reach out to you and see how you’re holding up.” 

“I’m fine…doing just fine…”

“Ah…”

“Is…is that all you wanted?”

“Ah…no. Actually…I wanted to ask you something else…”

“What is it?”

“On a day when you’re not quite as busy… I want you to have lunch with me.” At that, she grew mad quiet, mouth open. Lunch? With him? What for?

“Uhh…”

“I can’t take you to lunch?”

“I didn’t say that…”

“Do you need to ask Hiroto’s permission first?” Before she caught herself, she sucked her teeth. 

“Look, you showing up in my office on my time. Don’t start irritating me.” Lifting his hands, he waved them in a truce, smile sliding into a slight grin.

“Okay okay… sorry.” Balling up her lips, she looked away from him, well aware he was staring holes into her. His whole entire appearance was weird. No phone call, no nothing. Why now did he want to come here…with Hiroto being gone? 

“I find it funny you pop up as your cousin takes a trip outta the country.” 

“That’s the exact reason why I want you to go.”

“Excuse me?”

“I know how hard this kind of work can be. No doubt without Hiroto here, it is overwhelming. I just want to take your mind off of work. For an hour at least.” She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

“Okay…whatever. Thursday. Miki’s.”

“Two okay with you?”

“Sure.”

“Great! I can’t wait to see you then.”

“Yeah.”

“Have a great day Rae.”

“Yeah you too.”

***

Full from breakfast, he curled her up into his arms and headed back to their room. Tucking her into the warm blankets, he kissed her forehead and left her. 

*** 

Eyes watched as the exiled woman formerly known as Eri Iwase sat in front of a camera demurely, a deceivingly coy smile glued to her lip. All that was seen was plain tatami and closed shoji. The place of her exile. An interview there of all places.

“I understand that your son has exiled you Iwase-san. However, we’ve yet to gauge your feelings in the matters that have unfolded. If you could, please give some responses.”

“Hiroto is doing only as he has been groomed to do. For that, I do not fault him. Rather, I am proud of him for remaining true to the blood and law within his veins. His father and I tried to ensure that he grew up aware of his identity and all that accompanied that.” 

“How then do you feel about his union to an American? I’m sure the news came as a shock to you…being from the world and the family you’re in.”  There. The smallest crack in the otherwise flawless smile. Soon, her whole entire demeanor changed. 

“She’s less than insignificant to those of us who know better. She’s a worthless whore who seduced my son into giving her his money and his love. He’ll never realize the scheme and for that I feel most sorry.” The woman blinked at her use of harsh language and swallowed. 

“The majority of Japanese citizens view her favorably. While she looks different, she has what they call a heart for the Japanese people. What say you on that?” 

“How can she have a heart for the Japanese people when she herself is not Japanese? What does she know of us or of our identity?” The woman was silent. 

“Their relationship has spanned nearly 16 years and in that time, I tried to get him to see reason. He fell in love with her in high school and I thought it was just a phase. As is the way with Iwase men, they have their phases and then they bore and find accompaniment elsewhere. But, she became like an ugly black disease that never went away. All he seemed to talk about was her. For her, he’d have given up his entire inheritance, his identity and his self worth. I could not and would not allow it.” 

“You couldn’t support your son’s happiness with this person?”

“Absolutely not. She wasn’t the one I wanted him to marry. I did not want her in our family and even now I will never accept her or their children. To me, she is illegitimate and provides a disgrace to our family history.” 

“Iwase-san…does your problem lie with the color of her skin?” The woman laughed humorlessly. 

“I shouldn’t be surprised. Hiroto in many ways favors his ancestor Lord Haruyuki.” 

“Haruyuki?”

“Never heard of him?” They didn’t but the one watching it did. All attending the little interview were quiet and she took that pause to tell them. 

“Lord Haruyuki was the nephew of one of many great daimyos in our family tree. One night, on his way to Yoshiwara he stumbled onto a particular brothel. Unlike any of the others he’d visited, he noticed they specialized in exotic bodies. Interest piqued, he browsed the selection and came across a tayuu by the name of Kurohana. They said she had eyes like the bluest sea and skin as black as the night. Even more so, her hair fell down her back like a waterfall. He became entranced by her and soon after visiting her fell in love with her.”  Eyes turned to look into the camera, lips curled into a smirk. 

“Born a slave in Arabia, the poor girl ran away from her captors and found solace in Japan. Desired for her unusual beauty, she was captured yet again and grew up knowing only red lights. However, she didn’t know the man she’d serviced was of grave importance or the duty he held to his country. When Haruyuki went to his father to proclaim his desire to marry the girl, he was instantly threatened with disownment of all he’d known… all he was entitled to. Unlike Hiroto, Haruyuki abandoned her and sent her away, marrying a daughter from another influential family.” The woman sighed. 

“With this girl, Hiroto forgot all reason and it is a consequence he will have to live with.” 

“Perhaps now in this changing time and changing Japan, unions like this should be more acceptable. Your son loves her so openly and unashamedly…I think it goes far beyond ancestral tales and color of skin. Ebere-san has also helped Shoutoii grow substantially in the past year or so since she joined the company. These things mean nothing to you?” 

“They are indeed void.”

“Iwase-san, tell me…what is the reason you tried to assassinate Iwase Hiroto on national television?” She’d been well behaved but that too had to run its course at some point. She sneered, eyes growing dark. 

“Someone has to uphold the law. If he wants to be reckless and abandon it then I will make sure it is respected. In a world such as ours, I’m afraid my dear that you would never understand. To you, it may have appeared as though I was a murderous mother on a rampage but I assure you, even in that moment, I wanted nothing but the best for him. I still loved him.”  Though in exile, she existed as though her authority had never left. 

“Well, thank you for your time Iwase-san. I hope things are going well for you.”

“As well as they can be.”

“Well, this concludes our interview. Thanks for watching.” The program cut off and a lone person sat in the room, the fuzz from the empty television flashing on the screen. Laughter began to trickle inside and soon it loudly clung to the walls. The old bitch was crazy but she was determined and for that she couldn’t be faulted. She lived up to the Iwase name, even as an outside wife. It was a pity that she had more honor than the man of discussion. He was a weak pussy controlled son of a bitch and the faster he was brought down the better things would be for him. After all, he had his sights on something outside his destruction, a rare jewel that he’d been itching to claim. Licking cracked lips, the man lifted a cup of tea to his mouth. This was going to be a very Merry Christmas after all. 

*** 

“Madame President?”

“Yes?”

“A Mr. Takamasa Iwase is here to see you.” 

“Ah, thank you.” Sighing, she looked down at her hands before clenching them up. Time and time again, she had debated whether she should just call the entire thing off. For some reason, her stomach tangled up with unease. But damn the curiosity that nagged at her. She wanted to see what he wanted. Look, do it or don’t do it. Make up ya mind. Standing up, she gathered her things and with a breath exited her office. Standing there in a way so reminiscent of his cousin, he smiled as he set eyes on her. 

“Hello there beautiful.” Her eyebrow twitched but she managed a polite smile. 

“Hi.”

“Are you ready for lunch?”

“More than ready. I’m starved.” 

“Sounds good! If it’s okay with you we can skip Miki’s today. I want to take you somewhere else today.” Biting her lips, she nodded. 

“Okay cool whatever. Let’s go.”  The minute they began walking down the hall, the eyes started lookin and she knew they were asking questions to themselves. Whatever it was that he wanted, it had better be worthwhile. As they exited the building, he kept his hands politely pressed to his sides as they entered the awaiting car. 

*** 

“So uh…what have you been up to?” He sat back comfortably in his chair and smiled, those damn dimples appearing. 

“I have been busy building up an engineering company.” Her eyebrows shot up. 

“Oh really?” 

“Yeah.”

“What made you want to do engineering?”

“It’s always been a passion of mine. Besides, everyone in my family has to have something to take up.” 

“Oh…” 

“I’ve been watching Shoutoii.” 

“Have you?” She asked, leaning forward on the table. 

“Yeah. I’m very impressed.”

“Well, Hiroto’s done an amazing job with it.”

“Let’s not forget your major contributions as well Rae.”

“Yeah…”

“It was never like this before and without you it wouldn’t ever be.”

“Thanks…”

“You deserve just as much credit as Hiroto…perhaps more.” 

“Hiroto and I are partners… we share the responsibility as well as the credit. One of us is not higher than the other.” He hadn’t taken his eyes off of her yet so she reached for her cup of water. 

“Nice place you brought me to. What’s the name of it?”

抹茶.” 

“Matcha?” 

“Mm. Look around…” All around the cosy spot, there existed greenery, shimmers of gold and clear glass; even their cups translucent and handled with gold leaf. 

“It’s a really beautiful tea shop. Artsy.”

“I thought a change of scenery would be welcome no?”

“Yeah, it’s lovely. My kind of place.” He smiled to himself, reaching for his own cup of tea. 

“To be honest Takamasa, I was very shocked when you came to Shoutoii.” He looked up. 

“Mm?”

“Yeah I mean… we’ve never hung out before and our last interaction wasn’t that good.”

“You mean when we were kids?”

“Yeah…”  Sighing, he placed the cup on the saucer and leaned forward, hands pressed together. 

“Listen Rae…I  can’t fault anybody but myself. The first impression wasn’t exactly the best and for that I apologize.” She looked away. 

“In all honesty, Hiroto and I have always bumped heads ever since we were little. So, perhaps you just got caught in the middle of it all.” 

“Why don’t you two get along?” Turning to look sideways, he sighed again. 

“We’re complete opposites. He was the reserved quiet one and I was the rambunctious one. There were a lot of things I could do as a kid that he couldn’t. Perhaps he envied me because of it.” She was quiet as he continued, 

“There were of course a lot of things I too envied about him. He was the favorite child, the golden boy and nothing or no one could come before him. I watched how my mother and father bowed at his feet. It puzzled me.” He finally lifted his eyes. 

“One thing about Hiroto that proved consistent throughout our growing up years was this: if he found something or someone he liked, he would do his damndest to protect it. Even if that meant becoming overbearing.”   

“Mm.”

“That’s why I couldn’t get to his behavior when it came to you. He became…possessive in a most unbecoming way.” 

“Look Takamasa…I’m sure you know what your Aunt and Uncle did to him as a kid…right?” 

“Yes. It’s rather unfortunate but it is the way things have been done in our family for generations.” 

“So you’re excusing his suffering for tradition?”

“He constantly had girls vying to be with him and his parents hooked him up with anything that had money and a pair of legs. To a teenage boy, what is that but pure bliss?” She swallowed and kept her lips pressed together as a waitress placed their food down. 

“My, this looks delicious.”

“He’s not overbearing or possessive. I want to make that perfectly clear.” Glancing up from the food, he eyed her in that intense Iwase way. 

“With you, he is most incredibly suffocating. I imagine his love must feel the same way.”

“Takamasa-”

“Has he ever allowed you to be free Rae? Just once?”  

“I don’t need him to allow me to do anything. Let’s get that straight right now.” His grin deepened but he just continued staring at her as she continued,

“I don’t need him to give me freedom. I was free before him.”

“I see.”

“I’m done talking about this. Let me ask you this Takamasa since you’re so full of questions…what’s your deal with our relationship? It’s mad creepy that you always stay in my business about me and mine.” He took a sip of his tea, grin fading only slightly. 

“If I can be honest?”

“By all means.”

“Hiroto doesn’t deserve you.” She bristled, muscles tight. 

“Excuse me?” 

“When I first met you, you reminded me of a butterfly. The most heartbreaking thing is to see a butterfly caged. It’s very nature is to be free, to fly wheresoever it chooses. Hiroto doesn’t allow you that.” 

“How dare you!” She hissed, fingers tight underneath the table.

“I’ve struck a nerve. I’m sorry.” She pursed her lips, food untouched. 

“I will not sit here and let you disrespect my husband Takamasa. You don’t know what my relationship with him is like. Your opinions are entirely inappropriate and they need to stop!”  He had lowered his gaze but brought them up to hers, emotion within unreadable. 

“You’re right. I apologize for offending you. In no way am I trying to impose on your relationship or voice an opinion I am not entitled to.” She inhaled sharply, inwardly telling herself to calm down. 

“I wasn’t aware that this lunch was going to be used as an avenue to talk about a man who isn’t even here to speak for himself.” Takamasa sighed and regret began to pour into his eyes. 

“Forgive me Rae. Please.”

“Give me a reason to.” 

“Look, I just want to get to know you… uninterrupted. We never got that chance. Excuse me for projecting quite personal opinions of my cousin on to you. From now on, it won’t happen again. Let’s talk about something else shall we?” Slowly picking up her fork, she eyed him as he smiled and took another sip of his tea. She kept quiet as she began to eat, shoulders and back still tight.

***

As soon as he turned the key into the door, his phone vibrated. Wet from a run, he sniffed and sat down on the chair near his bed. Taking off his shoes, he reached into his pocket and upon seeing Rae’s number, he smiled. Opening the message, his body instantly grew warm. Oh. She’d taken a little photo of herself, skin clad in a brand new lingerie set, hair sprawled across the pillow. The words I miss you written underneath. Licking his lips, he took a shaky breath. Damn. She looked like a beautiful gift, one he couldn’t wait to unwrap.

Biting his bottom lip, he was just about to reply when his phone buzzed with another message. Going to open the message, he froze. There was a video with what appeared to be his mother as the thumbnail. Drawing his brows together, he clicked on the video. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he grew still. He felt like he’d been punched as he listened to her speak, fury spreading through his veins. This was a whole new level of disrespect. How she was able to do something like this…on national television…Gripping his phone tightly, he tightened his jaw. He needed some explanations and he needed them now. Sliding hair back from his face, he slowly stood, body tight. He’d shower and try to relax. There were definitely some calls that needed to be made tonight and he didn’t care if he had to stay up all night. Something had to change. Even if he had to force it.

***

Sweat drenched his neck and face but still he stood, bokken steady in hand. He’d been practicing for a couple hours now and his legs begged for rest. Inhaling slowly through his nostrils, he closed his eyes. No. Not yet. He’d grown lax and because of that, his body had grown lax. One more time and then he’d take a break. Feeling pure energy drift through his body, he exhaled, allowing the elements to sharpen around him. He ignored the stinging cold that shot through his hands and struck, one final time, quick as an arrow. Letting the bokken fall against the snow, he closed his eyes and let the large puffs of snow melt against his skin. It’d been years…years since he’d practiced budo. But it felt so good. To release everything that had ben pent up inside. Inhaling nice and slow, he took another breath before focusing. Lashing out, he struck the wooden post again.

***

Standing on the sidewalk, eyes drifted up towards the large window, hidden by curtains. He wondered where the lovely little woman was. His gaze drifted back towards the driveway, two cars sitting comfortably therein. Liar. He knew that Iwase Hiroto was nowhere to be found. He knew she was alone. For the moment. Visions of the past sights flickered across his mind. If he didn’t do it now, he wouldn’t ever get this chance again. Besides, he had a payment to collect so this was more than just a personal pleasure trip. Sliding hands into his pockets, he glided across the street, nice and slow. Tongue out, they licked dry lips. Now. Or Never. Pulling out a thin screwdriver, he lifted it to the door’s lock and once he got it open, he quietly opened the door. Acting quickly, he disarmed the security system and with a quiet breath of relief, he smirked. Game on. 

*** 

“Hiroto!” Jolting awake, he grabbed his phone and answered grumbly. 

“H-Hello?”

“You need to come home. Right now.” Tobu? What was Tobu doing calling him at three in the morning?

“Tobu? What’s going on?”

“Some guy broke into your house.”  Awake now, he gripped the phone tightly as he shot out of bed.

“What?!”

“Yeah…he tried to get to Rae.” Shit. This couldn’t be happening.

“Where is she?” He growled, hastily pulling some nearby sweatpants on. 

“Right here… wait a minute.” There was silence and then her voice came into his ear, panicked. 

“Hiroto?”

“Baby, are you okay?” 

“Y-yeah…I’m…I’m fine.”

“I’m coming home as soon as I get a plane ticket. Okay?”

“Y-yeah…”

“Did he hurt you?”

“No…Thank God. I smacked him with your baseball bat. Knocked him out.”

“Thank God.” Good girl.

“I can’t deal with muhfuckas breaking in our house Hiroto. You hear me?”

“Loud and clear babe. I’m coming. Don’t worry.”

“Okay…”

“Stay home today. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Shoving his hair back from his face, he felt his cheeks burn with anger. 

“Looks like we’ll be moving sooner than we anticipated.”

“Tell me about it. At this point, I’m ready to go.” 

“I’ll see you soon sweetheart. I love you.”

“Love you too baby.” The phone was given back to Tobu. 

“Tobu,”

“Don’t even have to ask. I’m on it. I’m not going no damn where. Not till you get back.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me.”

“See you tomorrow?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Hanging up, he cursed under his breath. It was high time to cut this trip short. 

*** 

By the time he stepped off the plane, his phone was going crazy with notifications and alerts. It didn’t take the media outlets long to catch wind of what happened and he hoped to God that they hadn’t been harassing her. He was slammed with jet lag and fatigue but the thought of being with Rae gave him the energy to move briskly through the busy terminals. He needed to see her, feel her, breathe her. 

“Mr. Iwase, welcome home.” His company driver greeted with a bow once he got outside.

“Thank you. Take me straight home please.” Ride quiet, he played with the collar of his coat absentmindedly, relaxing only when they pulled up into the driveway. 

“Need you any help Sir?”

“No. I got it. Thanks.”

“Of course.” Bowing his head, he got out and retrieved his bags. Pulling them to the door, he felt a rush of relief as the door opened. Tobu faced him, a serious expression on his face.

“Hiro-kun.”

“Hey.”

“Welcome back.” He clapped his back in a hug.

“Good to be back. Where’s Rae?” He asked, looking around him. 

“Bathroom. She’ll be right back.”

“Ah,”

“Let me help you with those.” Grabbing some of the bags, he carried them into the house, leaving his hand free to close and lock the door. Gliding fingers across the nearby security system, he tightened his jaw. He’d requested someone come and install a new system, one more advanced than the first. Whoever this guy was, he had to be pretty smart to disarm a complicated system like this. 

“Relax Hiro. She’s okay.” Tobu pat his shoulder and he breathed a big sigh of relief. Sitting down, he groaned and let his eyes close. 

“You look exhausted Hiro-kun.”

“I am exhausted…”

“You weren’t going to hop right back into work were you?”

“I don’t know. I can’t say right now.”

“Mm.”  

“Hey Tobukins?” At the newest nickname shouted from the bathroom, he lifted an eyebrow. Tobu just grinned with a shrug. 

“Yeah?”

“Roto almost here?”

“He’s sitting right here in the living room little lady.”

“WHAT?” 

“Yep.” He chuckled as the door swung open and little feet ran towards him with a screech. 

“Rotooo!” She jumped on him, knocking the breath out of him. 

“H-Hey b-babe…” Arms came around him and she sighed with relief. 

“Welcome home.”

“It’s good to be home.” 

“I missed you so much baby.” She whispered the words quietly against his hair. He inhaled her clean fruity scent and slid hands around her waist.

“I missed you too.” 

“Well, looks like it’s my cue to go.” Rae’s cheeks grew red and she pulled away, getting off him. 

“Tobukins…” She came to his side and grabbed some of his shirt. She wasn’t looking at him but he could feel the emotion welling up inside. Tobu smiled gently and pulled her to him in a hug. 

“I’m glad I was able to be here for you.”

“Me too Tobu…” 

“I’ll always be here for you Rae. Anytime you need me.” 

“Mm.” He kissed her temple and let her go. 

“I’ll see you guys at work. Maybe.” He winked at her and the seriousness combust in an instant with that boyish grin of his. 

“Get out.”

“Eh? Y-you’re kicking me out?”

“Yup cause you being nasty now.” He couldn’t help the laughter that rippled through his chest as she attempted to push Tobu towards the door, failing miserably. 

“Hey hey we all know why you’re kicking me out. You two aren’t slick.” Tobu teased playfully, laughter bubbling in his throat. 

“Bye Tobukins….out!” 

“All right already! I’m going…” He let out a chuckle as he closed the door behind him. Huffing, she leaned back against the door. 

“Damn that was a workout. Whew.” He grinned and slowly got up from the couch. 

“How are you feeling Rae?” He asked, coming closer. 

“I’m good now that you’re home.” He was in front of her in no time and gently slid arms around her waist. 

“I’m glad you’re okay…”

“Yeah I’m a tough little cookie.” She lifted her arms and wrapped them around his neck and he fell instantly into her big brown eyes. He didn’t say a word as he lifted her up into his arms and made his way to their bedroom. Absence had made the heart fonder and he wanted to show her how much he missed her. 

 

*** 

It was like that was the beginning of a trickle down effect. Once that happened, they had rush jobbed their move into a new space which was still hadn’t been fully unpacked. Safe and away from many prying eyes, it was a quaint little place for just them two. Satisfied that Rae liked it, he tried to move them forward but then the coup de gras had to come and when it did, it hit them full force. 

 

*** 

 

Eyes watched as the tiny little woman lifted her shirt. So he had returned. It didn’t surprise him. He’d been a fool to leave a beautiful thing like her home alone anyway. A tongue licked lips and waited in anticipation as it finally came off. Hands shook as they reached for the door handle. He had to get a shot of her…His gut had told him to call the whole thing off. But he couldn’t stay away. Stepping out of his car, he swallowed tightly and headed up onto the curb. He needed one good money shot and then he’d leave. He had to make sure all of this had been worth his while. Surely, the hit to the nose and face should’ve made him throw in the towel. But he’d make him pay his hospital bill for that. It was his fault after all. Lifting the camera hanging from his neck, he was just about to take a picture when all of a sudden he felt an arm come around his neck, knocking the breath out of him.

“Who are you?”  A low voice hissed against his ear.

“I-I can’t breathe…”

“Who are you?”

“Let me go and I’ll t-tell you…”  He was released and coughed, gripping his throat. Turning, he found Iwase Hiroto standing there, fists tight, ready to strike. 

“You’re the one sending me these pictures.” Not a question but a statement. He rubbed his neck, trying to regain his breath. 

“She’s beautiful, what can I say?”

“I won’t ask you again who you are.” He spoke, voice quiet. 

“The name’s Ichikawa Tomoaki.”

“Why are you taking pictures of my wife?” He coughed, again finally gathering breath enough to speak. 

“If I tell you that, I’d be out of business.” 

“I’m not giving you an option.” 

“I can’t tell you that.” He glanced up towards the window with a grin. 

“I tell you what Iwase Hiroto…you’re one lucky son of a bitch. Wifey’s got a great little rack.” He wiped the grin off of his face with a swift punch to the jaw and he went down hard, hitting the ground. He groaned and rolled over, eyes finding the enraged man.

“T-take it easy….okay…you wanna know who is behind it all?”

The business mogul lifted him up by his jacket collar, eyes black and voice rough. 

“Speak.” The tiniest slice of fear traveled through him.

“Iwase Takamasa.” The blood drained from his face and he let him go, allowing him to touch his bruised jaw. 

“He is your cousin right?” The man didn’t speak for quite a while, gaze far off into the distance.

“How long has he employed you and for what purpose?” Coughing again, Ichikawa crossed his arms. 

“A couple months now. Why else but for his own collection?” His eyes flickered to his. 

“Collection?”

“Yeah. He’s got all kinds of pictures of her. He’s obsessed with the bitch.” That earned him a kick, this time to the chest and fire scorched his entire abdomen. 

“I want you to give them all to me.” He wheezed, breath short. 

“M-Make me an offer I can’t refuse.”  Iwase Hiroto pushed his foot on top of his chest, drawing short pained breaths from him. 

“The pictures for your life.”

“O-okay…yeah…fine.” 

“I want you to meet me when all of the pictures are gathered. It will be at a location I will disclose. Are we clear?”

“Y-yeah.” 

“I have eyes everywhere. Follow my instructions and you won’t get hurt. Is that clear?” He nodded and licked his bloody lips. For the first time in a while, he was uneasy…gravely uneasy. This guy…this Iwase Hiroto wasn’t like his cousin. No, he was far more deadly and dangerous. 

“What about Iwase Takamasa? He’s expecting me to come back with something.” The voice of the man sent an even deeper chill down his spine. 

“Let me worry about that.” 

 

***

”You’re going to freeze to death out here.” Turning, he met large brown eyes.

“Rae…”

“Come here…” Smiling, he slowly made his way to the engawa. Plopping down, he sighed heavily, his body grown stiff with fatigue. 

“You overdid it…” Her tiny warm fingers brushed cold wet hair back from his face and gently pulled his head back against her chest. 

“I been lookin for you.”

“Mm?” He hummed, her warmth seeping into him. 

“Mmhm.”

“Glad you found me.”

“You’re so cold Roto.” In the quiet snowfall, breath met the air, cheeks, neck, arms and hands cherry red. 

“You were thinkin about him weren’t you?”  

“Who?”

“Takamasa.” He grew stiff and opened his eyes to look up at her. 

“How can I not?” 

“I don’t want there to be a rift between the two of you Hiroto. He is your cousin.”

“Who has no business desiring you or taking pictures of you. Point. Blank. Period.” He finished, his tone angry. He pulled away from her and curled his hands into fists. 

“Takamasa and I have always seen things differently and we have never got along. There are many things I have forgiven because we are family.” Turning, he looked her in the eye. 

“You are and will not be one of them.”  She bit her lip and gently caressed his cheek. 

“Your desire to protect me…I understand. But you didn’t marry a weak woman Hiroto.” His jaw grew tight. 

“If you goin into this with a sword then I’m gonna be right next to you with a naginata slashin bitches.” At her analogy, he smiled handsomely, dimples deep. 

“Naginata hm? Do you even know what that is?” 

“No but it’s a weapon so I’ma use it anyway.” Laughter broke through the silence and he pulled her closer by her hand. 

“You’re so cute. You are my little warrior woman huh?” 

“Ya damn right.” 

“Takamasa doesn’t stand a chance does he?” 

“Hell nawl.” A series of chuckles lightened the once angry mood and he sighed, pressing her hand against his frozen cheek. He let her wrap her warmth around him and sighed against her chest, body shivering.  

“Rae?”

“Yeah bae?”

“I love you.” Blushing, she met his gaze, tenderness and desire adorning his features. 

“I love you too Iwase Hiroto.” He smiled before pressing a kiss to her lips. Sighing against her mouth, he suddenly forgot about the cold or the impending bath. Pressing her back against the engawa, he deepened their kiss, nice and sweet.

*** 

Old eyes watched the two kids frolick about, cheeks warm and rosy. Lifting an equally old cup to his lips, he observed as his son pulled her against him, their mon unashamedly on his back. Smiling, he sighed. Good. Only she could calm him in such an effective way. 

“Christmas is almost upon us.” The two separated at the sound of his voice. Rae bit her lips, cheeks a delightful rose. Clearing his throat, his son eyed him as he came to stand next to the two of them, watching as the snow fell, the cold winter air swirling all around them. 

“I’m glad you two came to stay with me.” 

“It’s no problem Father.”

“Surely, you kids could have chosen to reside elsewhere but you decided to stay with this old man.” 

“Oh stop Father..we came because we love you and wanted to see you.” Rae piped up, a cute pout on her face. He grinned. 

“Such a sweet child…” 

“We wouldn’t rather be anywhere else.” Hiroto input and he smiled.  

“Since I have you two, I might as well spoil myself with your company. I will go make tea.” As he made his way down the hall, he smiled to himself. He preferred they be here with him for many reasons. He knew that the two of them could hold their own but call it fatherly concern…he wanted to protect them in his way. It made him happy to see the immense joy Rae brought to him.. still after all this time… after all these years. Coming to stand in front of the kamado he gently touched the top, still warm from the morning. 

“Father.” He turned to face his son, who came into the kitchen, eying him with a soft expression. 

“Yes?”

“Are you worried?” Sighing, he could only nod and to his surprise, Hiroto came up to him and lifted a hand to his shoulder. 

“Don’t be.” Just as quickly, he removed it and instead went to grab some wood from the corner. 

“How will you remove the threat to your happiness Hiroto?” 

“Whatever the decision is, no blood will be spilt. There is enough of that in our history.” He stood and threw the wood underneath the old kamado

“With my mother, we will handle this just as we would in old times. She has too much pride to allow further humiliation beyond what she has already endured.”

“What you have suggested… do you think it will erase her blood from your hands?” 

“It will be something she will inflict upon herself…at the behest of herself. She will more than likely do it anyway.” He swallowed tightly and nodded. Grave crimes she had commit against the family she had married into and for that she indeed had to pay. 

“I trust your decision on the matter. After all, when I am dead and gone, I shall live through you and through the generations to come from you.” He smiled fully bringing him to a halt. He hadn’t smiled like that in such a long time… Teeth showing and free, his entire face lit up with emotion. 

“Indeed Father.” Things grew quiet between them and soon an old tea pot was placed on the top and soon hissed, full of hot water. 

“Why don’t you go sit with Rae? I’ll bring the tea in.” 

“Mm.” 

*** 

 

Since finding out that Takamasa was behind these pictures taken of her, she at first had no clue how to react…anger first finding her. But now in the stillness, she felt different. Slightly. Instead of anger, she felt pity. A deep overwhelming sadness swept over her and she swallowed thickly. It was all so unfortunate.

 

***

She glanced back at her man who unconsciously outstretched his hand for her in his sleep. Somethin wasn’t right. Grabbing a robe, she made her way into the kitchen. Pursing her lips, she went to get a glass of water. He was actin weird. Two nights ago, he said he was stepping out for a ‘walk’. When he’d gotten back in, she could feel deep intense anger vibrating through him. It had hit her smack dab in the face as soon as he’d kissed her. He’d been mad quiet and hadn’t said much since then. His behavior was concerning the shit out of her. He never seemed relaxed and his eating habits were starting to decline. That was a definite no no. Sighing, she washed her hands and began to fix something. By the time he woke up, she knew he’d be hungry.

“Rae?” Sleepy head was up after all.

“In the kitchen!” Feet light, she didn’t even hear him come into the kitchen but smiled as lazy arms came around her. 

“Howlongyoubeenup?” He asked, face pressed against her shoulder. 

“Not long. Thought you’d be hungry so I’m makin you somethin to eat.” He grumbled and tightened his grip on her. 

“Wehaveworktoday…”

“Yep. In a couple hours.” The grumble turned to a dissatisfied groan. 

“Let’sstayhome.” Smiling again, she cracked four eggs and went to the rice maker, scooping out two fresh hot wads of rice into a couple bowls. She hadn’t had an opportunity to make Japanese food back in the States so her skills were more than rusty. With practice, she knew she’d be back on it. This morning was a tamago kake gohan kinda morning. Whipping the eggs into the rice, she sprinkled some nori, soy sauce and left over vegetables from last night’s dinner together. Turning, she found her husband yawning, sleep fresh on him with a bed head somethin serious. He was so cute, the big baby.

“Come eat sleepy head.” 

“Mm.”  They skipped the table and went to sit on the couch. Pulled in between his legs, it was quiet as they ate. 

“Roto?” 

“…Mm?”

“You want seconds?” He pulled the bowl away from his mouth. 

“Do I need another bowl?” She swallowed but looked at him head on. 

“Well…you haven’t been eating much lately.”

“I haven’t been hungry.”

“Hiroto…”

“I’ll be fine baby. Don’t worry.”

“I’ll always worry about you.”  He sighed heavily and put the bowl down on the nearby table. He let go of her and pulled away. 

“Roto, look at me.” He swallowed, his eyes tired and angry.

“What’s wrong?”

“There’s nothing wrong.” Pursing her lips, she turned around and poked his chest.

“Don’t lie to me.”  He tightened his jaw.

“…It’s a… combination of a lot of things.”

“Like what?” 

“My mother…first of all.”

“What’d the old crow do now?” 

“She came up to my job. Right before I left.”

“Say what?”

“Yeah.”  

“To do what?”

“Give me a message. Be careful.”

“Be careful. Be careful of what?” He laid back against the couch cushion, arm strewn over his face.

“I’ve been trying to figure that out.”

“And there’s more?” She huffed loudly. 

“Yeah…” 

“What the hell else has been goin on?”  

“There’s a man who has been so curiously located outside our window over the past few months.” 

“What man?”

“Whoever he is, he has sat outside our window for hours at a time.”

“Aw shit… it never stops. Why…why can’t people just let us be happy…”

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to scare you.” He lifted. 

“Okay…” 

“I finally caught him.” She relaxed with a groan. 

“Thank God…” 

“He was being paid to take pictures of you.” Her brows scrunched together and a frown came to her face. She licked her lips and crossed her arms.

“Who the hell would do something like that?” Jaw tight, he answered without hesitation.

“Takamasa.” She looked at him like he had grown three heads. 

“Takamasa?” His nostrils flared and he swallowed thickly. 

“Yeah.” 

“Waaaaiiit. Wait. Wait. Wait…”

“All this time I was right about him.”  She sighed heavily, now understanding where his anger came from, her own spreading through her chest like wildfire. Licking her lips, she looked up at him before lifting her hands to caress his face.

“Hiroto, do you think Takamasa would be happy if he saw you like this?” His cheeks red with anger, he scoffed.

“I don’t give a damn about his feelings.”

“Listen to me.” He inhaled roughly but stayed quiet. 

“He wants you to act this way. You know that and I know that. He wants you to deteriorate and right now you’re fulfilling his wishes.” At that, he stiffened.

“You have to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Don’t give him what he wants.” She pressed her face against the top of his head. 

“If we lose sight of what we’re doing or where we’re going… it’s going to mess everything up.”

“….you’re right…” He leaned down to lay his forehead against her chest. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight to her. 

“We’ll figure all this out bae. But in the meantime, I need you to do something for me.”

“Mm?”

“I need you to eat. I need you to stay focused and I need you to not shut me out. Okay?”

“Okay. I’m sorry I’ve been so distant.” He pressed lips against her collarbone and with a deep heavy sigh, he relaxed. 

“Gon dig in to that breakfast, I know you hungry.” Smiling against her, he laid against her for a while before lifting up to meet her face to face. Kissing her deeply, he thanked her with no words, making her body turn to jelly. 

“Thank you baby…” He breathed against her mouth before kissing her again. 

“Welcome…”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.” As he grabbed their bowls, the goofy ass man baby returned with a slight wiggle of his eyebrows. She couldn’t help but laugh and lifted her foot to playfully kick him in the butt. 

“Gon goofy butt!” Laughing, he headed into the kitchen. Watching like a hawk, she felt a surge of happiness as he got a big second helping. Atta boy…She’d do anything to ensure that he wasn’t once again pulled into the deep dark place lingering somewhere off in the distance. She’d keep him together so that they could still reign, even under uncertain and dreary circumstances. After all, being Iwase meant learnin to adapt and quickly.

 

***

 

“What are you doing to do about all of this?” Sitting across from him, his father looked at him cup in hand. His expression was of extreme seriousness. 

“My rage forgets he shares the same blood as me. If he were anyone but Iwase, I would kill him.” 

“The ancestral blood is strong in you so that does not surprise me.” 

“Takamasa does not respect our name. He has abused the sacrifices our ancestors made to bring us into the eras of past and present. He does not respect anything his family has done for him.” 

“Agreed.” His father sighed heavily before putting the cup down. 

“The one weakness to Iwase men above all else is their women.” She hadn’t expected them to include her in this quite intense conversation but it made her happy that they did. She reached over and took his hand, gently squeezing it.

“He’s not worth it Hiroto. You know it and so do I. You’re on a dimension he couldn’t ever dream of being on.” He squeezed her fingers and pressed a kiss to her hand. His father swallowed tightly and looked down at his hands which were clasped so hard they had grown white. 

“Hiroto, listen to me. Through you, our family will continue to succeed and prosper.” He looked away for a moment, quiet. 

“You’re right. And part of our family prospering is ensuring that Rae is kept safe. Takamasa…my mother….even Emi…they don’t understand love nor do they understand what it means to protect what you hold most dear. She is our future. She’s my future.” He tightened his jaw but came to look into his father’s eyes. 

“Through Rae, our family will continue to live on. It is not an act of mine alone.” Shou nodded, an intense expression of his own on his face. 

“This is true. Rae is strong just as she is beautiful. She can hold her own no doubt. But it is in the Iwase nature to protect their women fullheartedly. I don’t object to that. No matter what happens, she will always stay by your side.”  His father reached for her other hand and smiled suddenly, breaking the intensity. 

“Focus on her and how you can continue to build our empire Hiroto. Takamasa will eventually fail. When that day comes, simply carry your head high and keep moving.” 

“Mm.”

“It’s obvious he needs help. Help that we can’t give him. If he doesn’t decide to change his life around then I can’t help what happens to him. That I leave up to God.” He lifted her hand again and kissed the back of it. 

“I think we need some more tea so I’ll be right back.” She grabbed their cups and quietly let herself out, shutting the shoji behind her. Sitting back, his father sighed again, much heavier than before. 

 

“Now that Rae’s gone, I must ask. What are you going to do about your mother?” 


End Notes:

UPDATE 2/12/2019: Hey y'all. I re-uploaded this chapter because I didn't like how the former one read and flowed. It didn't feel right. SO. I have completed re-edited it. Hope you like it! OH! And I have created a second trailer for Accordance, the first part of this series! Please check it out here: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-ay1gPXFO8

LOVE Y'ALL! WE ALMOST THERE Y'ALL. TRANSCENDENCE IS ALMOST DONE. *cry face*

D&L 

 

 ORIGINAL AUTHOR'S NOTE: 

A/N: HELLO FAMILY! OMG IT'S BEEN FOREVERRRRRRRRRR! WHEW! So much has happened and it's really almost been a y e a r since I updated. WOW. How are you all? Y'all still hangin in with me here? Man oh man. I tell you... Life. On a personal tip, I had a major cross country move BACK to OH with family due to a death in the family so I've been trying to write while start over again back here at home with work and everything. This year has been the most challenging one yet for me creatively and it's been disheartening at times. Like... I'm so close to finishing and everything but sometimes, I just literally COULD. NOT. WRITE. Here I am though moving strong ahaha! Glad God gave me the gusto! 

Okay, chapter time! A LOT HAS HAPPENED IN THIS CHAPTER. lol. Like a lot. Not to mention that it was super de super long lol. I have so many thoughts... first... Rae being overwhelmed in Hiroto's absence. Completely relatable. Like I think anybody would react the way she did initially! Kay next... Hiroto's fear of being possessive. BRUH. Listen. Let me get me a man who would be down for me like this lol. First of all. lol. I think his fear is cute but not based in truth ya know. Kinda like his own slight internal paranoia. Rae spelled it out for bruh man... like babe stop. No. You ain't and uh... quit. Yeah.. quit. SOOOO LET'S TALK ABOUT TAKAMASA's A**. Y'ALL. Y'ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. He. NEEDS. TO. SIT. DOWN. BEFORE. HE. GET. THEM. HIROTO. HANDS. CAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE WORKING HIMSELF UP TO. UGHHH. Like Emi's character, having to write Takamasa just gives me the creeps because he's SUCH a creep. 

I love the scenes with Shou and the bits within Roto's grandma's home. My favorite parts this chapter by far hehe. So, my question to you is this: Why do you think I named this chapter Nucleus? What do you think is going to happen to Takamasa? Emi? Eri? Do you know who the mysterious man is? Love y'all and thank you for supporting and reading! I personally feel it's getting way longer than I originally intended but it's not complete yet. lol. So, as long as God blesses my fingers, I will continue until R&R's story is completed! 

OH! I MADE A TRAILER FOR ACCORDANCE Y'ALL. IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT, I WILL POST THE LINK HERE! PLEASE WATCH, SHARE AND LIKE! I WORKED REALLY HARD ON IT AND IT BEING MY FIRST EVER EDIT VIDEO, I WAS HECKA NERVOUS LOL. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE VIEWS SO FAR! I COULD CRY! Y'ALL ARE AMAZING!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zivFoYq65o

 

Love you again! And see you next time! Here's to 2019, MY Y E A R Y' A L L L L L L L L L! Thanks again for riding with me and I truly can't wait for ALLLL that God has in store for me. I'm READY to receive it. I'm READY to experience my HARVEST! 

-D&L

Harvest by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

WARNING: LANGUAGE AND EXPLICIT/TRIGGERING SUBJECT MATTER.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Harvest

 


Rain pelted the window as it fell from the sky. Nervous feet tapped against the floor, surrounded by florescent lights and cold air condition. 


    “Iwase Ebere.” At the sound of her name, she grew tight with anxiety. 


    “Iwase Ebere.” The woman called again, looking around. A gentle hand slid across hers. 


    “Babe.” Swallowing, she turned to look at her support, who had loving eyes on her.       


     “I’m…I’m n-nervous about this Hiroto. W-what if-”


    “No what ifs. I’m right here. I won’t leave you.” 


    “Last call for Iwase Ebere.” Lifting her hand, he kissed it. 


    “We won’t know until we go Rae.” Taking a shaky breath, she swallowed tightly and nodded before standing slowly. The woman smiled and beckoned her to approach her. 


    “U-um, is it okay if my husband comes with me?” She asked, licking her lips. The woman appeared a bit shocked as he stood, hands in his pockets, waiting patiently for an answer. Something she wasn’t used to seeing on an every day basis she was sure. 


    “Of course. We would never refuse him from accompanying you.”  She reached for his hand. 


    “Please follow me.” 


 *** 


 


    A year had come and gone in the blink of an eye. In such a short time, associations with trustworthy and credible foster agencies had been made; the United States, Japan, United Kingdom and Australia were just a few partners. An after school program had been established with some of the middle schools and high schools in the surrounding area, their alma mater being one of them. It still amazed them how far God had taken them so quickly. She’d traveled to conferences across the globe, her first being in London. Things were getting surreal as they entered into their second year of marriage. So much had happened and the new journeys they were embarking on were both beautiful and frightening. 


 


*** 


 


 


    “I present to you proudly…Hinansho!” Hands cut a large ribbon and applause ripped through the air. Fingers threaded together and together they welcomed the public to enter into the beautiful building, large and spacious as far as the eye could see. 


    “This has been a labor of love for years and thanks to my wonderful husband, he’s allowed me to bring it to fruition. I’ve put a lot into this and I hope and pray that it changes lives for generations to come.” Fingers took hold of hers and tears welled up in her eyes. 


    “Shoutoii is going to be elevated beyond anything we could ever imagine.” His voice was warm and deep and never failed to send shivers down her skin. 


    “I couldn’t have done it without you baby.” She smiled as he pulled her against him, wrapping an arm around her. Looking deep into her eyes, he spoke softly. 


    “Thank you Rae.” Feeling a blush come to her face, she gently lifted her palms to lay them against his chest. 


    “D-don’t thank me…we did it together.”


    “Show us around Rae, we’re desperate to see all the goodies you’ve got in here!” Her closest commentators said with grins on their faces, some familiar and some not. She pulled away from him, not before he kissed her though.


    “Alright since y’all so eager, lemme show y’all around.” 


 


***    


    “What brings you in today?” A friendly woman sat at her desk, leaned in to listen. 


    “Ah… well….um..” She smiled gently as the woman stuttered and took a deep breath. 


    “M-My husband and I….um…we…we w-want to um…to con-conceive and um…” 


    “You are frightened.” Rae finally met her eyes. 


    “Yeah.”


    “Is this your first time trying to conceive?” 


    “Well, we actually haven’t…. done it yet.” The woman blinked, as politely as she could, the look of understanding still in her expression. Hiroto kept quiet for he felt it wasn’t his place to speak. He simply kept her hand close and occasionally glided his thumb across the back of it. 


    “You haven’t tried to conceive yet or you haven’t been intimate yet?” Her face grew red. 


    “No… we’ve been intimate but um…” 


    “Mrs. Iwase…may I call you Rae-chan?” 


    “Sure.”


    “If you haven’t even tried to conceive, how do you know you won’t be able to? That is your fear isn’t it?” She let go of Hiroto’s hand and gripped her jeans instead. 


    “I guess it’s just…been a fear in the back of my mind since I was young.” 


    “Where did it come from?”She looked up at the woman. 


    “I was severely abused sexually as a child. There were a lot of unmentionable things done to me s-so I figured damage had been done.” The woman grew quiet for a while, just looking back and forth between the two of them. 


    “I see.” She stood up and came around to the front of her desk. Leaning back, she clasped her hands. 


    “Mr. Iwase, what are your thoughts on your wife’s concerns?” He sat up straighter, glancing at her.


    “Rae and I have been through a lot. That’s really an understatement. Her concerns are…very valid and I completely understand them. We suffered the same thing as children and while we’ve been very careful as of now not to conceive… it’s still very frightening to think about to be honest.”


    “Aha. So the both of you are scared. That’s normal. Many young couples and newly married couples experience this fear. You’re not alone.” They were quiet as the woman continued, 


    “Mr. Iwase, why do you want to conceive with your wife?” He grew pink but his voice was strong when he spoke. 


    “I love my wife more than anything in the world and I want to make her happy however I can. Rae’s everything I envision and want for the mother of my children.”


    “Aw Roto…” The woman turned to look at her. 


    “Why do you want to conceive Rae?” 


    “I love Hiroto so much…and simply put… I want to give him the most beautiful gift a woman can… fatherhood.” The woman was smiling extra hard and pushed up from the desk. 


    “Well then, there is nothing else left to say but this: let’s get started. Rae-chan, we’ll schedule a day and time for you to come in for fertility testing. Mr. Iwase, I’m sure you don’t need any testing done. With your family and the reputation that proceeds you, you’re fine.” At that, he grew red, which brought a laugh from both women. 


    “Yeah Roto ain’t got no problem.” 


    “I’ll go fetch our appointment papers. Give me one moment.” 


    “How are you feeling babe?” He asked, grin forming on his face. She playfully pursed her lips.


    “A bit better.” 


    “Hopeful?”


    “God’s calling the shots baby. We just gotta keep goin right?”


    “That’s my girl.” 


***


    It’s been a while since I’ve wrote in you dear journal. How have things been? Things are moving so fast and I’m tryna catch up. I’ve launched my dream… my baby… Hinansho and it’s been skyrocketing. I have a trip to London coming up and I’m excited! 


    I’m sure you’re wondering how Roto is doing. We’ve definitely had our highs and lows within this first year of marriage but we’ve stuck to each other like glue and that’s all that matters. God is with us. He lights our way.  


    Funny that lately, I’m really starting to think about kids… finally. A year in and I kinda wanna start something new and beautiful with him. Is it too soon, Journal? I mean… I think I’ve always wanted to have children with Hiroto… something I knew even as a teenager. It just felt right then and it feels so right now. A part of me is still scared. Scared of getting pregnant. We’ve been so meticulous and careful to ensure we don’t conceive. But…when the time comes…will I truly be ready? All the fears I’ve carried still linger and I can’t seem to shake them. I want to give Hiroto a beautiful family but…what…what if I can’t?


*** 


    Old withered hands gripped piles of thick blankets. Off in the corner there was a machine that steadily beeped, monitoring heart rate. There on an elegantly crafted nightstand sat a letter. The addressee written in neat prompt kanji: To Hada Mizu, my mother. Eyes of the woman were watery and bitter. 


    “Mrs. Iwase, it’s time for your bath.” A kind nurse entered into the room and began to lift up the ailed woman from the bed. As she was lifted up, she opened her mouth and spoke one word, angry and cold. Bastard. 


 


***


    He sat at his desk, going over paperwork for a new sect set to open in Germany. Late evening, he’d undone his tie and taken off his jacket. Unbuttoning a button or two of his shirt, he sighed as the words below him started to jumble together. Sitting back, he slid fingers through his hair and glanced at his watch. It was time to go home. Getting up, he stretched deeply. It had been one hell of a ride and he hadn’t quite gotten off at a stop yet. Reaching for his belongings, he began to assemble them in his briefcase. 


    It had been a full year and a half since he and Rae had gotten married. Birthdays and happy days had come and gone, swallowed up in the drama and bullshit that had surrounded them in their first year. Everything had threatened to fall apart. But his wife was a strong ass woman and he was damn proud of her for not allowing his family to defeat her. They had made it their mission to continue on and push through, even at their lowest, they held on to each other. And now… now it seemed all the faith, tears, hurt and pain had been worth it. 


    His phone began to ring and he pulled it from his pocket. Rae. 


    “Hey beautiful.”


    “Hey handsome.” 


    “What’s up baby?”


    “Nothin. Just wanted to know if you was leavin work soon.”


    “Yeah, in about five minutes. I’ll be home soon.”


    “Okay. Good. Did you eat?”


    “I ate a big dinner so I’m not hungry. Stay out of the kitchen okay?” He could hear her pout. 


    “But, I like makin you dinner and stuff.” He smiled as he headed to the door. 


    “And I love enjoying those dinners. But you need time to rest too Rae. You work just as hard as I do. You need to be cared for too.”


    “Hmph.” 


    “Thank you for all you do for me baby. I can’t express how appreciative I am.”


    “Aww….suga…”


    “I’ll be home soon okay? I’ll see you soon.”


    “Okay.”


    “Love you.”


    “Love you too.” Sighing, he made his way home. 


 


*** 


    “This is all of them?” He fingered through envelopes of pictures stacked in rubber bands.     “Yeah this is all of them.” Slipping a couple out of the pristine white folder, fury was a word too kind for what he felt in that moment. Limbs tangled, lips caught in kisses, the pictures depicted moments no one but he and Rae should have known about. Taking in his face, Ichikawa Tomoaki backed up from him a little, his posture uncomfortable. 


    “So, now that I’ve give you everything… what do I get in return?” Sliding the pictures back, he clasped them shut. 


    “It’s only natural that I give you money right? There’s 3 million in a briefcase buried behind the ficus by your door. It should be enough to keep you sustained.” The man grinned but faltered as he met his gaze. 


    “H-How’d you know where I l-live?” He ignored his question and clasped the man on the back of the neck.


    “It’s been a pleasure doing business with you Ichikawa Tomoaki.” 


    “Wait. Before you go… I-I found something else.” The man went to his car and retrieved a small box. 


    “You’ll find what’s inside very interesting.” Getting into his car, he watched the man drive off. Standing alone in the parking lot, he opened the box and felt his blood grow cold. 


    *** 


    A recompense was due to them all. He often reflected on it, still quite pissed off about it. He hadn’t gotten answers as to why his very own cousin thought it appropriate to do what he did. Not just to her. But to him by way of her. The whole thing was still such a big problem.


***


    Keys turned into a lock and a door opened. Takamasa Iwase stepped into the foyer, closing the door. Kicking off his shoes, he quickly slipped into his house slippers and ran fingers through his hair as he stepped up into his great room. Throwing his keys up onto the kitchen counter, he sighed loudly before reaching into his pocket to pull out his phone. 23:55 pm. He’d been up since the crack of dawn and his body wanted to collapse. Going over to turn on his light, he jumped as a pair of eyes identical to his stared at him from across the room. 


    “Hiroto?! What the hell are you doing in my apartment?” He appeared comfortable, reclining on the loveseat, his legs crossed. He got up and slipped hands into his pockets, silent. He said nothing. From his past experiences, when he said nothing something was more than off. 


    “You could’ve called or something.” He remained quiet, just staring at him. 


    “Well, aren’t you going to explain yourself? You’re lucky I don’t call the police. Are you a burglar now?”  Takamasa replied irritably, crossing his arms.


    “You’re a pathetic piece of shit.”


    “Excuse me?”


    “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”


    “Find out about what?”


    “Ichikawa Tomoaki.” Takamasa instantly lost color but he tried to keep some sort of composure. 


    “Who the hell is that?” The tension and unease in the room was enough to rumble the stomach and Takamasa felt like he was going to throw up.


    “You’ve never learned your place. Ever since we were kids, you’ve always had to learn the hard way.”


    “Hiroto, tell me what the hell you’re talking about or get out of my apartment.” Before he had a chance to react, he punched him hard in the jaw, sending him back. He picked him up and slammed him against the nearby wall. 


    “Let’s see if this refreshes your memory.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture, holding it up to his face. Takamasa grew even more pale, starting to look sickly. It depicted actions only he and Rae should have known about.


    “H-H-Hi-Hiroto look…it-it’s n-not what you t-think.” 


    “What the fuck is it then…” The calm in his voice had expired and it shook with audible rage. Takamasa croaked nervously as he reached down and grabbed him right between the legs.


    “H-Hiroto…I-I promise you…i-it’s not what it looks like…I s-swear…” 


    “Iwase blood can wander if not caged. Remember Father always telling us that?” Takamasa tried to speak but found himself unable to. Sweat started to bead on his forehead and he gripped his arm as he gripped him tight enough to hurt. 


    “Yours has wandered for a long time. Free to do whatever you liked as long as our name saved you.” Drawing close to him, he pressed his lips against his ear. 


    “You deserve to be caged like the animal you are.” He gripped hard, invoking a loud pained cry from the man he called cousin.  


    “The only reason I’m going to walk away is because of my wife. Let that be reason enough to finally stay the fuck away from her. And from me.” He let go of him and watched as he crumpled to the floor. His face held an intensity Takamasa had never before seen and it sent fear all throughout his body. Without saying anything else, he straightened his posture and left the man on the floor, who had begun to sob.


*** 


    It had taken every ounce of God given control not to kill him that night. He was trying, honest to God he was to be everything Rae needed. He was trying to be everything God called him to be. Surely, he couldn’t call himself a Christian and a good husband and commit murder. Takamasa had gotten off easy and he had to be fine with that. He’d gotten his point across more than clearly. Since that night, he’d fallen off the grid and there was no sight or mention of him.


    Pulling into the driveway, he shut off the car and quickly made it into the apartment. He wanted out of these clothes and to be next to Rae. Slipping off his shoes, he laid his briefcase by the door and quietly came into their bedroom. A smile spread across his face like wild happiness and he bit his lip to keep a chuckle from escaping. She was curled up in a ball, her phone still in her hand. She slept quietly and deeply, mouth slightly open. He went to put his bed clothes on and after he was done preparing for bed, he gingerly got into bed. Her hair smelled good as he pressed his nose against the curls. She must have washed it earlier. Still slightly damp. 


    “You’re so cute. Were you trying to stay awake for me?” He mused quietly against her ear. She sighed in sleep and stirred briefly, welcoming his arm that slid around her. 


    “Okaerinasai baby…”


    “It’s good to be home.” He gently caressed her jaw and turned her head to bring her lips to his in a kiss. 


    “Sorry I woke you.”    


    “Mm…it’sfine…” Kissing her again, he felt her relax and drift off to sleep again, their fingers intertwined. Inhaling her hair once more, he fell asleep soon after. 


*** 


    In her dreams, they played in the rain. They ran outside and splashed in the deep puddles. She screamed as the water splashed up to soak her clothes. He grabbed her from behind and twirled her around. She heard his deep laughter, her favorite kind. It came deep from within his stomach. She called it her special laugh. When the playing would end, they’d stand in the rain, now pouring heavily. 


    “I feel like I’m five again.” He’d say and lean his head back to let the rain pelt his face. She  would copy him only to find him staring at her. 


    “What?” She’d ask. 


    “I want to play another game.” He’d say, tangling their fingers.


     “Mmkay.” She would reply, drowning in his expression.


    “It’s called the Bee and the Flower.” She would knit her eyebrows together every single time. 


    “The what and the what?” He’d laugh and slowly slide his hand down to rest on her belly. 


    “Maybe we should wait until the rain stops.” He ‘d stick out his tongue and catch raindrops. And just like that, they’d be back playing in the rain, jumping in huge puddles. A never-ending warm rainy summer day, filled with almost childish abandon. 


 


*** 


    This season, even in its richness and fruition also brought much awaited recompense. 


 


***


    “Has he impregnated that little bitch yet?” 


 


    “Watch your tongue!” 


    “Shou, you protect her like she’s one of us.” It had taken everything in him to come to this little arranged gathering. Sitting across from the woman he used to love, he found her repulsive now. 


    “She is the wife to our son Eri. The least you can do is show her some respect.” The woman laughed, a condescending chortle. 


    “I’ll do no such thing! She will be a baby factory for our future generations. Nothing more, nothing less.”


    “Enough!” At his loud slam against the low table, she kept her lips closed, pursed. 


    “If you have questions as to their martial life, I suggest you ask Hiroto yourself. I did not come here to play gossip.”


    “Then what did you come here for?”


    “I’m sure Takamasa shared the news with you as to the opening of their newest sector Hinansho.” She grabbed her cup of tea. 


    “Perhaps.”


    “He’s behind it all isn’t he? The television time, the interviews, the visits to Shoutoii. He’s helped you this far right?”


    “Someone has to be loyal. The poor boy has had to grow up in the shadow of Hiroto, obviously superior to him. It’s only natural to hold so much resentment.”


    “Eri.” The woman looked at him. 


    “For the sake of our future grandchildren, I implore you to stop this. Let it go. Once and for all. Let Hiroto be his own man. Let them be happy.” The woman turned to look outside, the shoji open. The now spring air was still a bit cool but refreshing. With it brought the scent of freshly blooming flowers. 


    “Never.”


 


***


    But soon after that meeting, she’d grown ill once again and for the first time in a long time, things were peaceful and quiet. Takamasa had disappeared and she was being cared for by the best doctors in the country, at his order. He had promises of his own to keep and he wouldn’t let her die until she had seen them. 


***


    “Iwase Ebere.” She gripped his hand tightly. 


    “Come on babe. Let’s go.” As they got up, she sent a quiet prayer up above. Please let me be wrong Abba. Let me be wrong. Years of physical trauma had scarred her and the fear of having another miscarriage haunted her in other dreams other nights. Standing up, she let Roto walk her to the open door, the woman from before standing there with a gentle smile. Nervously, she approached the small office. 


    “How are you feeling today Rae-chan? Iwase-san?” 


    “Anxious as hell.” She replied, that infamous death grip on his hand. He swallowed but looked calm as always. Inside, his heart was beating wildly in his chest.


    “Good, all normal emotions.” She grabbed a stack of papers, documents she assumed were her results. 


    “Rae-chan, I have your results here. Are you ready to hear them?” She swallowed tightly but nodded. 


    “Y-yeah…” 


    “ Okay.” She opened the envelope and then glanced up at her. 


    “Your ovaries are perfectly healthy Rae-chan. There was no reproductive damage done. We did take a look at your cervix as well and the good news is there is no signs of cervical cancer. It does however seem like it has taken a bit of a beating. With what you’ve told me about your childhood, repetitive rough intercourse makes sense. Do you experience any abnormal pain during your monthly cycles?”


    “No…nothing abnormal.” 


    “Good. Though it’s been bruised in the past, everything is perfectly healthy for a 31 year old woman.  I’m very sorry that you’ve had to experience all that you have. Woman to woman…I deeply sympathize with you.” She put the papers down. 


    “You’re able to be a mommy Rae-chan. All the fears you’ve held in the past can be let go now.” She couldn’t control herself in that moment and bust out crying. 


    “You’ve told me you’ve been pregnant before but miscarried. I want to reassure you that the likelihood of you having another one is less than two percent. Please don’t worry. You and Iwase-san are at the perfect age to reproduce.”  She squeezed his hand and glanced up at him with teary eyes. 


    “That makes me so happy. So freaking happy…Baby? How you feel?” He leaned down to press his forehead against hers.     


    “I am so relieved. And thankful that everything is okay.” 


    “Now, my work is done. I’m so happy for you two. You’re a beautiful couple.” She stood, giving Rae a hug. 


    “Go get started on that little bundle of joy. Have fun. Safe fun.” Both of them grew red and Hiroto coughed, making her smile. 


    “Thank you…” Coming to her, he gently took her face in his hands. 


    “Are all of your worries eased?” She inhaled deeply. 


    “Yeah…I’m…I’m not scared anymore.” He pressed a soft kiss to her lips.


    “I’m glad we could experience this together babe.”


    “Yeah. It…It makes me happy that we can get pregnant.”


    “I’m more than happy about that.” A small grin spread across his lips. 


    “Okay you bouta be nasty. Let’s go.” Chuckling, he let her go. Slowly their fingers tangled and they began their way out, that little smile still on her face.


 


***


    Only the pages of her journal knew the struggles, frustrations and problems that had made up the past year. She felt like they were finally at a stand still. Everything was quiet. The way they’d asked it to be from jump street. Hiroto had told her he’d taken care of Takamasa. Very vaguely. She knew he’d probably did somethin more than talk but she ain’t feel one ounce of pity for the bastard. She leaned back against the couch. She’d finally gotten the chance to squash the feud with Emi. Since their conversation, she hadn’t heard of her popping up anymore. 


*** 


    Red claws tapped against the table and little by little it was starting to give her a headache. 


    “I'm surprised you wanted to see me.” 


    “I’m surprised my damn self.”  The woman smiled nice and slow, calculating. 


    “My Rae, you never were much for niceties hm?”


    “Considering our history…nawl.” Eyes looked up at her. 


    “Afraid I’ll finally steal him from you?” She allowed herself to laugh, all and none of this funny. 


    “Heifa please. That ain’t even up for discussion.”


    “Then what is? Why am I wasting my time?”


    “I call myself trying to approach you like a real woman should. Anybody else I know would have beat the hoe out of you.” Kuribahara Emi laughed mirthlessly and pursed her lips, also the same shade of red.     


    “That’s real classy of someone who is married to one of Japan’s elite.”


    “This me and you right now bitch. Fuck the dumb shit.” Emi smirked and licked her teeth. 


    “I told you that I wasn’t going to give up on Hiroto. Obviously, you have a hard time hearing.”


    “And obviously, you have a hard time understanding when you’re not relevant anymore. So, I’m going to spell it out for you. The man don’t want you. He never wanted you. He ain’t gon ever want you. So, you tryin to sabotage our marriage ain’t gon do nothing but get you hurt.” Emi reached for her glass of wine, a deep luxurious red of course. She was quiet as Rae continued, venom in her voice.


    “Why did you show up to Hinansho?” Taking a sip, she gently placed the glass down. 


    “It wasn’t because I wanted to see you. You’re insignificant. I did it because of Hiroto. For Hiroto.”


    “Hiroto didn’t spend hours upon hours making Hinansho come alive. So, try again. What was your point in coming?” 


    “I have to ask your permission?”


    “It’s my business so yes. You do.” Emi laughed, lips in a sneer. 


    “I see the Iwase name has gone to your head. Without Hiroto, you wouldn’t be or have anything. Show him the respect he deserves.” 


    “I earned his last name trick. Don’t get it twisted.”


    “Earned it how? By being different?”


    “I didn’t have to fuck him to get him to fall in love with me. I told you that before. Seems you forgot.”


    “Bitch…”


    “Bitch what? You know I’m right. You never even had his body let alone his mind so I don’t know why you thought he’d love you. Being young and naive I guess.” 


    “Hiroto was promised to me. Regardless of if his parents lied or used me… he was supposed to be mine. Everything would have been fine if you hadn’t existed.” 


    “You’re so selfish you don’t even see that he was in pain. He was hurting and you wasn’t doing a damn thing to ease any of it.” Emi tapped those fingernails again, absentmindedly. 


    “I guess I can now admit it. I was jealous of you.” She brought those eyes up to hers, her expression unreadable. 


    “Still am. You’re living the life I always wanted.” She held her breath.


    “I couldn’t understand how someone foreign, someone so different.. someone so unconventional could come and swoop up the one man desired by every woman in the world….including me. Being in prison made me think… once and for all… I’d give it one last shot and try to gain back what I had.” She was quiet as the woman continued, stopping for occasional sips. 


    “I knew he loved you and it made me hate you even more. Every time I threatened to hurt you… every time he forced himself to sleep with me on your behalf I counted it as a victory.” Emi fingered the rim of her glass. 


    “I loved his body and how it made me feel. But, his heart was like stone, hard and unturned towards me… towards everyone except you. You were the only girl he ever smiled around. Ever laughed around. It made me fucking sick.” Rae was stone faced, holding her hands together to keep from jumping over the table and slapping the bitch. Jaw tight, she inhaled slowly.  


    “I came to the opening because I wanted to see what you two had built. It made me relieved to be honest. I never would have been able to do any of that. It would have bored the hell out of me.” Lips pressed to the wine glass and yet another sip went down.


    “Another sign that you wasn’t good for him. And you still tryna get with him?” She pinched the bridge of her nose.  


    “I don’t fucking know anymore.” 


    “Okay, since you don’t know, I’ma make the decision for you. You done. Once and for all. And you gon leave me and mines alone for good this time. Got it?” Emi began to look irritated, her cheeks red with intoxication. For the last time, she put her glass down on the table and licked her lips. 


    “At this point, I’m not even sure if it’s worth the effort. Hell isn’t worth that big ass mouth you’ve got.” 


    “You finally get it.”


    “And you can calm your non existent tits Rae.” 


    “Fuck you.” Emi laughed to herself and sat up, glaring at her. 


    “You got your answer so what’s next? I have no choice but to leave him alone now.”


    “Sure don’t. Not if you don’t want my foot up your ass.” She watched the woman she had considered her nemesis for going on sixteen years stare at her, gaze intense.


    “This is the end hoodrat bitch. Feel proud.” 


    “Sure do hoe.” She pushed her chair back from the table and grabbed her purse. 


    “Gon feel even prouder when I’m with my man tonight.” Without another word, she smoothly exited the cafe, a company car waiting for her. 


*** 


    Somethin told her Roto had somethin to do with that as well.Cackling to herself, she fingered the stem to her wine glass. She’d left the bitch speechless and if she wasn’t her enemy, she woulda found the shits funny. Now, the only thing still an issue was Roto’s mama. She’d been mad quiet and with a woman like her, that wasn’t good. She didn’t even want to get into it with her anyway… not anymore. She was getting up there in age and she shouldn’t even be having it in her to put up a fight with her old ass. Cozying up in the blankets, she relaxed laying her head back against the couch cushion. 


    She heard the key turn in the door and smiled as she heard Roto’s quiet footsteps enter. 


    “Rae?”


    “In the living room bae.” A couple seconds later, she felt his fingers tease her throat. 


    “I’m home.” His cologne drifted across her nostrils and she bit her lip as those same fingers came to gently wrap around her jaw. 


    “Welcome home baby…” His answer was a soul searing kiss and it sent warm flutters right to her womb. 


    “Rae..” His voice was low and throaty and it instantly made her moist. 


    “Y-yeah?”


    “I’ve had a shitty day and I don’t want to do anything but make love to you. Now.” A small moan came from her throat. Well damn. 


    “Okay…” His fingers left her jaw as he kissed her bottom lip. He began to remove his suit jacket and she damn near broke her neck tryna get up off the couch.Coming around, she pulled his tie to bring him closer. He didn’t waste time, kissing her until she melted against him. Gripping her cheek, he pulled her up until she wrapped her legs around him. Slipping fingers into his hair, she sighed against his jaw as he headed towards their bedroom. 


    *** 


    


    “Rae-chan, let’s play another game.” When she dreamt now it differed. He stuck out his tongue and caught some raindrops. She would slide her fingers through his and press herself against his side.


    “Mmkay. Shoot.” She would say, taking in his mischievous expression. 


    “It’s called the Bee and the Flower.” 


    “What is that?” She teased pursing her lips. His lips grinned deeper. He slid his other arm around her waist. 


    “Wanna find out?” His voice purred and she felt her legs tremble. She smirked. 


    “You up to no good Roto.” He kissed her bottom lip. 


    “Maybe…maybe not.” She could never resist him for long and those damn eyes of his made her so weak. 


    “Whatever it is, I think I can be down.”


    “Alright then. Let’s play babe. Follow my lead hm? On three you’re gonna run.”


    “And what you gon do?”


    “Catch you.”


    “That’s it?”


    “You’ll be the flower and I’ll be the bee.” For some reason, her cheeks grew warm and she bit her lip. 


    “Okay then. On three.” 


    “Ready or not… here I come.” He whispered the last part against her mouth and she shivered. He wasn’t teasing any more. She pulled away from him and started running. She watched him grin and soon he came after her.


 


***


    “Is she pregnant?”


    “What concern is it of yours?” His mother had decided to surprise his good day with a brutal interruption in the form of a phone call. He heard her laugh and it sounded weak. 


    “I’m getting old Hiroto. Perhaps I’ve had a change of heart.”


    “Bullshit.” That brought another weak laugh. 


    “She’ll serve as a receptacle for your seed. That’s all. We need heirs and we don’t have room to be picky anymore. However they come out is what we will have to settle for. Your poor choice in women is the result of that.” His cheeks flushed with anger.


    “You will give my wife some fucking respect. Hold your tongue.” His voice growled, low and filled with rage. His tone drew an audible breath from her. For a moment, she was quiet. He, however, shook with deep anger. 


    “I do not have the time to go back and forth with you.. This conversation is pointless.” His head was beginning to hurt and he was not going to tolerate her foolishness anymore. Not today. Not ever. 


    “Goodbye Mother.” Hanging up, he slammed the phone down on the desk. The urge to throw something hit him in the gut. Before he did anything reckless, he grabbed his jacket and swiftly headed to the elevator, leaving his secretary stunned. A cigarette would have to do. For now. 


***


    She watched him sleep, gently fingering his silky hair. Biting her lip, she pressed a kiss to his forehead. Something was wrong. She would feel it. His body was tense, even in sleep. He had been tossing and turning now for the past few hours. Right now, he was still. relaxing some under her touch. Taking the opportunity, she carefully lifted and climbed on top of him, pressing her hands against his chest. Leaning down, she covered him with her hair, glancing at him from underneath her eyelashes. 


    “What’s bothering you so much that you can’t sleep?” She asked quietly, taking in his every breath. 


    “Tell me what’s wrong.” He sighed deeply against her mouth. 


    “…Rae…”


    “Talk to me baby…” 


    “…talk?”


    “Mmhm…” He groaned softly before slowly opening his eyes, gaze sleepy but intense. 


    “Talkaboutwhat?”


    “Your tossin and turnin.”


    “Was I?”


    “Yeah.”


    “Sorry…” Taking his face in her hands, she kissed him nice and sweet. His hands came up to slip around her waist and he sighed deeply. 


    “I heard from my mother yesterday…”


    “I knew it had to be somethin with ya mama.”


    “Yeah…”


    “I don’t wanna know what she said do I?”


    “It’s not worth repeating any of our conversation.”


    “Alrighttt…so…” She sat up a bit with a slight pout. 


    “Whatchu gon do?”


    “For now, keep her alive.”


    “Babe.”


    “I promised her some things before I came to New York to find you.” He leaned down to kiss her collarbone. 


    “You know I’m a man of my word Rae.”


    “Don’t I know it.” He pressed his face against her breast and sighed heavily, welcoming her arms around him. 


    “When I do what I’ve promised I’ll finally wash my hands clean of her. For now, I’m keeping her around on purpose. When she gets out of place, I will simply put her back in it.” She observed him as he yawned and yelped a bit as he suddenly turned, forcing her underneath him. 


    “I’d rather much focus on you this morning…” There was that husky tone of his and she wasn’t gon ever lie and say it didn’t turn her the hell on. Lifting her leg up his waist, she teased him with a look…the look. 


    “We can definitely change the subject.” Grinning, he pecked her bottom lip. 


    “Good.” 


    *** 


    “Mr. Iwase, her health is declining.”


    “Keep her alive.”


    “But, sir…”


    “That’s what I’m paying you for. Keep her alive. Do whatever it is you have to do.” 


    “Yes sir.”Sighing, he sat back in his chair. That woman was going to live to see it all. She’d tried to destroy everything in his life and since he wouldn’t physically kill her, what better way than to force a life sentence on her? It tortured her every time he sent her a letter announcing good news. It would kill her should she find out they were finally ready to have children. That news he wanted to personally be there for. 


*** 


    Off in a dark corner, a man sat with his head in his hands. His life had been ripped apart at the seams and he didn’t see any saving grace. 


    “Takuya Abe!” His life was over and there was no going back. 


    “Takyua Abe, your coffee is ready.” All around, the darkness closed around him and he stopped hearing everything, a swift white noise covered his ears. 


*** 


    He’d never forget it. He’d been on his way to his first meeting with a highly successful engineering company, foreign and popular. He’d looked every bit the part of the Iwase family and he knew his connections would bring him far. 


    As he’d entered the board room, he found the CEO sitting in the chair, fingers steepled. He looked very upset. Stepping into the room, he offered a friendly smile. 


    “Good morning my friend.” 


    “Takamasa.” The way he said it made a sharp stab shoot through his stomach. 


    “Where’s everyone else? Shouldn’t the meeting be starting in five minutes?”


    “Yes but I’ve asked everyone else to exit the room.” That stab grew bigger. 


    “Why?” The man finally moved, coming to stand up. 


    “I think this will answer your question.” He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a small box. Shoving it down the long amber table, he watched as he slowly went to retrieve it. 


    “Giancarlo, what is this?”    


    “You tell me Takamasa.” A cold sweat broke out over his body as he lifted the top. Instantly, he grew white. Newspaper clips were neatly assembled and filed, faces stared up at him in small polaroids, some whose lips were parted by a thumb. Throat tight, he looked up at the man who was red and needless to say, furious. 


    “Explain it to me.”


    “I…I don’t know what you’re referring to Giancarlo…really.” 


    “Bullshit!”  He couldn’t speak, his eyes traveling down to the pictures again. All of them were explicit in some nature, limbs twisted one way, beautiful little pink petals captured in film. Some, just like the lips covered with a clear translucent dew. 


    “I’ve looked through it all and I must say that it is fucking disgusting.” He was quiet, his eyes roaming over the other contents in the box. A small snippet of rope was placed inside, delicately wrapped in a piece of very expensive tissue paper. Next to it, pieces of pure white fabric, all stained with what looked to be blood. Neatly and meticulously placed between microscope slides. 


    “There’s footage in there too. As if it wasn’t enough. You had to film it.” He gripped his fingers together into a fist and embedded his nails into his palm.


    “Giancarlo…I assure you… this…this isn’t me…” 


    “I just want you to explain how you thought you weren’t going to get caught. You’re a serial fucking rapist and you thought you were never going to get caught.” He eyed him, expression cool and emotionless. 


    “I am not a rapist. Don’t call me that.”


    “Tell me what it is then. You engaging in acts with young girls against their will. What would you call that?” He bit the inside of his cheek. 


    “I’m done talking to you. Get out of my firm.” 


    “Giancarlo-”


    “Get the fuck out before I call the police!” He bellowed, bringing him to a halt. Silently, he placed the top of the box back on and walked out, all the while, tendrils of fury snaking all throughout his body. 


*** 


    Giancarlo had called the police anyway but before they could come to his residence, he’d long since moved. He left Tokyo for a while and moved into one of the Iwase properties in Kyoto. He’d been there for a couple months now, staying really low key. He hadn’t been able to find work and constantly stayed covered up when out in public. 


    Getting up, he went to the counter and silently retrieved his coffee, not making eye contact with the clerk or anyone else. Coming back to the table, he took a sip. All of it screamed one person and one person only. Hiroto. 


*** 


    Tears filled the girl’s eyes and she quietly begged him to stop. Leaning down, he cupped the girl’s jaw. 


    “You weren’t begging him to stop fucking you right?” She cried loudly, reaching up to grip his wrist. 


    “I…I told you… we didn’t… do anything.” He grasped her jaw so hard she stopped crying, gasping instead. 


    “Don’t. Lie. Every one of you always wants him over me. It’s like we’re not good enough for you. Look at you now, he’s left you for another girl and you still defend him.” Shoving her away, he grabbed her hair and pressed her face against his erect member. 


    “Suck.” She shook her head no. 


    “I-Iwase-sama… please stop…” But he didn’t stop. Full of rage and jealousy, he shoved his member into her mouth forcefully, keeping her head still. 


    “I’ve always wanted you Sachiko. Always…” She squeezed her eyes shut and the sound of her gagging made him groan. 


    “You’ve always paid attention to him. As if he’s better.” The girl didn’t speak, she couldn’t with her mouth so full. He pulled her hair back, forcing her head back. She coughed, gasping for breath. 


    “Takamasa…” Finally, the first time she’d ever called him by his first name. Without an honorific. Finally, she saw him on the same level as she did with him. 


    “You’re so beautiful. That’s one thing I have to thank Hiroto for. Picking such a beautiful girl.” 


    “T-Takamasa….” He ignored her and prodded her with the tip of his member. 


    “I know he’s called you beautiful too. Right? Well…you’re going to look even more beautiful covered in my come. Not his. But mine. Maybe then you’ll understand who’s better.” 


***


    She was the first he’d ever taken. Hiroto’s plaything when they were boys. He knew she was lying when she said they’d never done anything. And that was alright for him. She’d never paid attention to him and it infuriated him. He was just as good as Hiroto. His dick was just as big. He proved it to her that night. He’d given her the best fuck she’d had in her young life up until that point. Wanting…needing to show her that he was Iwase too. He was better than Hiroto in ever way possible. He hadn’t stopped until she was covered in his seed.  From head to toe, he’d marked her in the best way. She had lost her voice a long time ago, the cries for him to stop became cries of pleasure and he rewarded her by marking inside of her, covering her insides with his very identity. 


***


    “You’re a good little whore.” He whispered against her cheek, stained with a mixture of his release and her tears, tears that hadn’t stopped flowing. 


    “I knew you’d come around.” Licking said cheek, he grinned. Inhaling her deeply, he reached over and grabbed the camera. Prying her legs open, he took a picture of those gorgeous pink blossoms now written with his name on them.


    “So pretty Sachi-chan…” Taking a fistful of her hair, he yanked her upwards, a loud pained screech coming from her. 


    “You’re going to be very quiet about this aren’t you?” Sobbing, she nodded, broken and exhausted. 


    “Good girl.” Leaving her crumpled up on the bed, he stretched and shut off the camera. Going over to the small journal, he neatly wrote ‘Iwase Takamasa. 13 years old. First love. Kiritani Sachiko.’  Turning back, he appreciated his art work, grinning to himself.


    “Let’s get you home ne?” 


*** 


    He’d made it a habit of getting what he wanted and most of the time it involved taking anyone that had been with Hiroto. The man made him sick and he hated him with an intense passion. He hated living in his cousin’s shadow. He wanted to be recognized too. He wanted to be found worthy too. Call him crazy but he had kept meticulous record and account so that he never forgot. He’d done his fair share of paying the girls and their families hush money, more money than the’d ever see in their lifetimes. His good ol’ Aunt, the crazy old bitch, had given her own sum to the police, paying them off. All charges had been dropped and he was in the clear to resume life as a normal teenager. However…


    Taking another sip from his coffee, he swallowed hard. The only one who was missing from his collection was the beautifully maddening Ebere Marshall. He’d almost got to have her. He had been so fucking close. Rae was a conquest that had challenged him for fifteen years and he had almost won. Eyes fluttered closed as the pictures he’d had taken surfaced in his mind. For such a short little woman, she had quite the body. She always had. Voluptuous and curvy, he’d wanted her from day one. Never imagining having a black girl before, his curiosity got the best of him and if it wasn’t for Hiroto’s interference, he’d have satisfied his tickling that night at the Hanami celebration. She was perfect and no other woman before her could quite compare.


     He’d fantasized so many nights about taking those small brown breasts into his mouth, sucking those little buds until she fell apart. He’d fantasized about grabbing handfuls of those massive mounds she had behind her and hitting her so deep she’d melt into the palm of his hand. He’d have made her forget everything about Hiroto. He’d have forced her to submit to him and worship him, her body being the most welcome offering. 


    Taking a shuddery breath, he got up from the table and left the little cafe. But now, he couldn’t do anything. Now, he was ruined. He couldn’t work. He couldn’t be free in public anymore. Not even his parents or his Aunt could help him this time. His face had been publicly displayed and headlines of his multiple offenses had scarred him. 


    “Asshole motherfucker.” He cursed under his breath as he put his hands in his pockets. Hiroto had finally won this game. He had to give up. He had to settle. He had to surrender. He didn’t have any other choice in the matter. Hiroto without a shadow of a doubt would kill him if he tried something again. And a part of him couldn’t blame him though. He’d kill anyone who put his hands on Rae too. She was just that worth it. Head low, he walked through the street, avoiding people and making sure he got home quickly. 


 


*** 


     Standing in front of a floor length mirror, she looked at herself, her breath caught up in her throat. Dressed in a breathtaking floral tomosode, a white lace cardigan covered her, making her look elegant and oh so feminine. Hana had taken such sweet care of her and patiently straightened her hair, gently plaiting and twisting it around her head to appear as a crown. Deciding on minimal makeup tonight, a natural face and clear glossy lip were the only other accessories other than some small diamond earrings. She wanted to keep it super simple and demure. 


    “Rae-chan, you look beautiful.” Hana spoke behind her, placing hands on her shoulders. 


    “Thanks to you Hana-chan. You always take such good care of me. Thank you…” 


    “Nonsense. We are sisters right? I have to take care of my little sister hm?” She playfully nudged her chin, bringing a smile to her face. Biting her lip, she swallowed thickly. Tonight was the most important evening of her life yet. Not only was it their first full year anniversary but it was the biggest socialite event of the year. She was hella nervous. The visit to the fertility center had been but weeks ago and the high from the news was starting to come down. Instead she felt like she was gonna throw up. Oh God… I can’t stand these things. Why the hell did we agree to this? 


    “Let’s go. Everybody’s waiting.” Taking a shaky breath, she clutched her purse and turned. 


    When they came up to the building, she saw Roto standing outside clothed in a sharply pressed and slim fitting suit, hands in his pocket. The air picked up his hair, rustling the strands. Lawd Jesus he was fine. The car door opened and she was helped out. 


    “Mr. Iwase, your wife is here.” The driver announced with a polite bow. Turning to face her, he gawked. 


    “Rae…you look…you look incredible.” Feeling her face grow warm, she bit her lip. 


    “Do I look like the wife of an Iwase?” He lifted her chin.


    “Anyone can look like the wife of an Iwase. But, you look like my wife, my beautiful little treasure. There’s a difference.” Her heart swelled so big she felt like it was going to come out of her chest.


    “I’m so proud of you baby.” She tugged on his tie a bit, causing him to kiss her nice and sweet. 


    “Thank you babe.” He kissed her again before they were interrupted by one of the lead coordinators for the event. 


    “Excuse me but you two should head inside. The esteemed guests will be arriving shortly.The media will also set up their camps. Mrs. Iwase, you’re okay with being filmed?”


    “Yeah, it’s fine.” 


    “Okay, let’s go! Make sure everything is in place!” The man shouted out at the other attendants, leaving them alone. 


    “Roto, I’m gonna throw up.” He took her in his arms and pressed kisses to her temple. 


    “I’m right here anata. I’m not going anywhere.”


    “But…”


    “Breathe Rae.” Taking another shaky breath, she swallowed tightly. 


    “Everything will be all right. Remember why you’re doing this.” 


    “O…Okay..” 


    “Ready?” Licking her lips, she nodded. 


    “Yeah.” Tangling fingers together, the two walked into Hinansho, a flash of lights soon following. 


***


    Glasses clinked and snooty aristocratic laughter travelled through the air.  His arm kept her close and his warmth comforted her. A few drinks in and she knew she’s loosen up. She’d impressed many European business moguls already and the group approaching them made her grow stiff. Take a breath Rae. You got this. Think of the kids… all the good you’re doin. Remember what you’re here for.She smiled and bowed politely as they came up to them, impressed expressions all around. 


    “Rae-chan, Hinansho is gorgeous! The architecture is out of this world.” 


    “Thank you.”


    “Had you always had this idea?”


    “I think so. I just didn’t know it yet.”


    “Ah..”


    “Everything I’ve experienced has been for a reason and that reason is Shoutouii and every initiative to come. My mission has been to help children live, succeed, heal and grow.” 


    “Such a beautiful mission indeed. Hiro-kun chose well with you.” At that, they both blushed some, his fingers lifting to slide some hair behind her ear. 


    “I did didn’t I?”


    “How long have you been married to Rae-chan Hiro-kun?” 


    “A year tonight. It’s gone by so fast.”


    “Oh my God! Happy Anniversary!” 


    “Thank you!” 


    “The first year is the hardest year. If you can make it past the first couple years, you’re good.”


    “You think so?” The small group laughed.


    “Marriage looks good on you both.”


    “Thank you…” A kind older woman glanced at Rae.     


    “Rae, you’re as beautiful as I’ve heard.”


    “Oh…um…thank you.” She replied, a pretty blush on her cheeks. 


    “I’ve also heard such wonderful things about what you’ve done for Shoutoii.”


    “For the world I’d like to think. It’s my way of paving the way for the future generations.”


    “Well said.” 


    “Okay enough talk! More eating, drinking and good times! This is all about the two of you! Rae, congratulations again!  Hiro-kun, I propose a toast to your endeavors and longevity in your marriage!” Everyone lifted their glasses and Roto’s arm pulled her close. 


    “I am honored. Thank you.”


    “To a fruitful union, plenty of kids and a happy wife!”


    “Here here!”


 


 


 


 


*** 


 


    The night was exceptional and she couldn’t have wished for better. She had invited many young girls to the gala, those who had each experienced what she did. They’d been of different ethnicity, nationality and background but they all spoke of forgiveness and unity with such maturity. Already, she was jotting down ideas for a mentorship program. When everything was all said and done, she’d found herself surprised in a fancy restaurant at a loss for words. She’d changed out of her tomosode and instead opted for a cute vibrant yellow dress, a beautiful empire waist and long full skirt that fell right to her feet. She’d had it custom made being she was so short but it fit perfect. A deep slit went up the side of the dress and a generous view of her leg came with each movement. 


    Licking her lips, she’d come out of the bathroom to find three very familiar faces sitting at their table. One of them couldn’t keep their mouth closed as usual. 


    “Oh my Goodness…look!” All eyes turned on her and she felt her face flush. 


    “Amee?” Her sister cheesed mad hard, coming to stand. 


    “Happy anniversary babe.” She felt her eyes water as she came to give her a hug. Tre, who cheesed more obnoxiously than Amee came to swallow her up in a hug. 


    “My God baby girl…you look outta this world. Hiro’s a lucky ass nigga.” She laughed against him and soon he let her go. 


    “I’ve missed you Tremaine.”


    “I’ve missed you too Nugget.” He lifted her hands and kissed them. 


    “Happy anniversary.” 


    “Thank you… oh my Goodness… when y’all get here? Y’all ain’t tell me y’all was comin…”


    “That’s the point of a surprise.” Amee said with a grin. 


    “They flew in this morning.” Roto spoke up, bringing their attention towards him. His gaze ignited her like a flame and she grew warm all over. 


    “Rae, you’re a vision.” Tobu said with a boyish grin, cutting the contact. 


    “Thank you Tobukins.” He came to kiss her gently on the forehead and took her hands. 


    “I’ve known Hiroto-kun my whole life and he’s definitely become a better man because of you. I can’t stress this enough that I’m so damn glad you two are together. You make him better and I think in his way, he adds to your life as well. Always stay together okay?” 


    “You’re such a sweetheart Tobu… thank you suga.” He led her to the table and she let go of his hand, coming to stand in front of Roto. 


    “Happy anniversary King.” He stood up and his gaze made her knees weak. Full of desire, love and respect, they drowned her. He lifted a hand and with his fingers, caressed her cheek. 


    “Thank you for being by my side. Happy anniversarymy love.” She felt tears well up in her eyes as he leaned down to kiss her. The room started to spin and she felt like she was going to melt into his very being, his cologne, heat and hands making her even more dizzy. She felt his hands leave her face and press against her shoulders, drifting down leaving warmth everywhere they touched. For a moment, she’d forgotten about everyone else there, immersed in her husband’s touch, lips, everything. He playfully teased her tongue as his hands reached their final destination, grasping her by the bottom. She lifted fingers up to get lost in his hair and he gripped her firmly, lifting her up a bit. 


    “Aw shit.” Tobu. 


    “That’s my nigga.” Tremaine goofy ass. 


    “It just got really real.” No doubt Amee was grinning from ear to ear. Pulling back, she bit her lip as he licked her earlobe. 


    “We’re definitely finishing this when we get home.” He whispered into her ear, making her hum a bit. 


    “‘kay.” Is all she could muster and soon, he put her back down on the earth. 


    “Well damn y’all.” She took a breath and tried to regain herself but it was hella hard. After a kiss like that, she wanted to go straight home and get it poppin. 


    “Yeah…um…shit.” She mumbled, bringing laughter from Amee and Tobu. Tre simply dapped Roto up real good. 


    “My mans…my mans.”


    “I say we get us some food and get outta here. These uppity folks in here actin like they ain’t ever had a good time before.” Amee said, reaching for her drink. 


    “I second that notion. When’s the last time y’all went out and danced and shit?” Tre asked, sitting back in the booth. 


    “A very long time.” Roto replied, taking a sip of his Chardonnay. 


    “We ain’t gettin no younger so I say we grab the grub and gon party.” 


    “Whatchu say Rae?” 


    “I’m totally down.” 


 


*** 


    She leaned back against Roto as they hopped into the limo. She pressed kisses to his neck as he wrapped an arm around her. 


    “I love you.” She whispered into his ear, kissing his jawline. 


    “I love you too.” 


*** 


    They found themselves in the parking lot of an empty store. Roto and Tre shot through the lot, attempting to race each other. Roto bein the winner came and spun her around in a victory twirl. 


    “You so goofy I swear…” He laughed against her, dimples deep. 


    “Yeah but I’m your kinda goofy.”


    “Yeah…that’s true.” For a moment, she felt like they were kids again, carefree and unbothered. Without warning, he grabbed her and hoisted her up over his shoulder. 


    “HIROTO! PUT ME DOWN!” She screeched in mid laugh as he neared a cart. Placing her inside the cart, he leaned down and kissed her. 


    “Let’s ride a bit.”


    “Boy what I look like ridin in some cart like a two year old…” 


    “Come on baby…please…” She looked to see Amee in another cart, Tobu manning it, at the ready. 


    “Tobukins, be careful with my sister you hear?”


    “I promise. I’ll be real gentle with her.”


    “Shiet, take me home withchu too while you at it.” Amee replied, drawing a deeply humored laugh from him. 


    “No the hell he ain’t. You ain’t goin home with nobody but Tre.”


    “You no fun Ebbie damnnn.” Tobu grinned deeper. 


    “She’s just like you Rae.”


    “Mmhm. You go home with my sister I’ma beat yo ass.”


    “Well Amee looks like that’s a no go.” Tobu said, playfully shrugging his shoulders at Amee. 


    “We wasn’t gon go home together no way shoo. Since you can’t take a joke, that’s why me and Tobu gon beat y’all.” 


    “Nawl nawl nawl. Me and Roto gon win.” 


    “Enough chattin let’s get with the racin shit.” Tre interject with a grin big as Jupiter.


    “On ya mark…get set…GO!” 


*** 


    The sound of a telephone shot through the night like a needle injecting skin and the words spoken still blindsided her. 


    “Rae, your mother has cancer.”

End Notes:

A/N: HELLOOOOO MY LOVESSSSSS!!! IT HAS BEEN FOREVER AND A DAY! Y'ALL WHEN I TELL YOU THAT AS I DRAW NEARER TO FINISHING THIS BELOVED STORY, IT BECOMES SO HARD FOR ME TO WRITE. LIKE NO JOKE. MAN OH MAN. I STARTED THIS CHAPTER A MILLION DIFFERENT WAYS BUT IT NEVER FELT RIGHT BUT THANK GOD IT DOES NOW. JUST GOTTA WAIT TILL I GET THAT RIGHT BURST OF CREATIVITY. Okay... lemme stop screamin at y'all. A lot has happened y'all. I time skipped about a year and we open the chapter with R&R sitting in a fertility office. Why you may ask? Member Rae expressing so many times before of her fear of getting pregnant? she unconciously felt like Peter or any of her other abusers had damaged her. Especially after her miscarriage as a teenager. RAE AND ROTO ARE FINALLY READY TO START A FAMILY Y'ALL!!! I AM SOOOOOO EXCITEDDDD HEHE. Finally right? I kinda dealt with Emi, Takamasa's (CREEP PUNK PERVERTED A**) and Roto's mama all in one which is how I intended it to be. The title is called Harvest y'all. 


 


Let's get to Takamasa for a minute. Member wayyyyyy back in Accordance when Roto was telling Takamasa he knew his history and that he wouldn't leave Rae alone for him to get to? HE WAS REFERRING TO THESE INCIDENTS DECRIBED IN THE CHAPTER. Takamasa has always been jealous of Roto and when it came to it that he wasn't receivng the same attention that Roto was with the girls, somehow in his stupid little brain he decided he was going to take them by force. When I tell you that his parts were VE R Y hard to write I meannn.... I cringed in and out and in again. WHEW. Finally, his animal a** has been put down and SHOUTOUT TO MY MAN HIROTO FOR GETTING HIM TOGETHER. YOU BETTA PROTECT YA QUEEN BOY! 


 


Last but not least, their anniversary. I understand someone along the lines, I made it seem like Rae is older than Roto but she's not lol. I gotta go back and fix that. Roto is a year older than her. That had absolutely nothing to do with the anniversary part but I figured I would put that lol. How have y'all been doin? I quit my job working in food service and guess what y'all? I'm about to start working as a NURSE ASSISTANT! I am so excited!!! I've been in orientation for about three weeks now and I am loving it! ALSO! I published Accordance finally for those who didn't know!! I have removed the chapters and everything so I hope and pray that you guys will go out and support me just as much as you have here! I love y'all! I've got some pictures to add and everything...later though cause phtobucket is being a butt. I have a feeling I'll be writing some more before the weekend is up so YAY ME! <3 


 


I love y'all and thank y'all for everythin! Till next time, 


D&L 


 


ACCORDANCE IS AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE ON AMAZON


---> https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07T9SFZPV


I DO HAVE A PRINT VERSION COMING UP AS WELL! STAY TUNED! 


WATCH MY TRAILERS HERE --->  


Trailer 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zivFoYq65o&t=36s


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Trailer 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3yZ089YDOI


 


(7-6-19) Pictures uploaded 


Rae's dress 



 


Inspired the come home scene with Roto:



 


Hinansho: 


Mother(Okaasan) by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:

This chapter is dedicated to my father. 

 

 

Cancer. That word should have crushed her. Would have crushed any other loyal faithful daughter. Instead, she’d pushed it to the back of her mind for the time being. 

When all was said and done, she had face planted herself into their bed, shoes hastily ripped off. Then and only then did she allow it to resurface. Your mother has cancer. God forgive the first thought that hit her mind: She deserved it. All of the pain and suffering she’d dealt with as a child was manifesting itself in her mother’s body… finally after so long.

God help her, she knew it wasn’t right to think like that… but then again… she didn’t have no holla for a woman who chose to abandon her…who chose to give her up like she was nothing. Why should she feel sympathy? You have to go to New York. You have to see her. As much as her mind told her so, she felt the stubborn sting of rebellion rise in her chest. 

“Baby?” Turning, she locked eyes with Roto who had gladly switched out his suit for some sweatpants.

“Yeah?” 

“How…are you feeling?” Sitting up, she sighed. 

“I don’t even know right now to be honest…” He came to sit next to her on the bed, reaching for her hand. 

“We’ve had an evening… that’s for sure.” 

“Yeah…to be honest…I don’t wanna think about it.” She pushed off of the bed and came to stand in front of the mirror. 

“I don’t wanna ruin our night. This is about you and me tonight…”  Getting up, he came to stand behind her, gently caressing her shoulders. He didn’t say anything as he began to unzip the back of her dress. She closed her eyes and relaxed into his touch.

“Roto…” His lips kissed her neck, drawing her breath.

“I had so much planned for tonight,” His fingers drifted across her back, now bare. 

“But I’ll be patient.” Biting her lip she inhaled, body screaming for him. She turned around, lifting her hands to gently push the hair back from his face. The rest of her dress fell in a pool around her feet. 

“Baby…” He gently took hold of her cheeks before pressing a kiss to one. He looked up at her, gaze intense. 

“This is the final thing we have to face before we can go forward.” He slowly lifted up, pulling her into his arms. Heading to the bed, he lowered her gently. He kissed her deeply, possessing her breath for a sweet moment.  Pulling away, he soon left her alone, laying on the bed, fingers tight on the sheets. After a while, she slipped into some shorts and a tank top. Mind clearer, she went into the bathroom and for the longest, she just stared. One last hitch in the road to tackle.

*** 

When the morning came, they found themselves packing a suitcase and getting ready for their flight, set to depart in a few hours. 

“Ready babe?” He asked, coming into the bedroom. She put her hair up in a high puff and nodded, smiling up at him. 

“Ready Freddy.” He pecked her on the lips and like that, they were headed to New York, Brooklyn in their sights.

***

It had taken 14 hours but they’d made it. They’d gotten into a company car and the whole ride was quiet. They were beyond exhausted. She looked out of the window, the warm air rustling her curls out of her face. She could feel Roto’s hand slide across her thigh and give a reassuring squeeze.

***

The next day after some rest, they’d headed to the hospice, having been woken up early in the morning by the front desk assistant. Everything was moving too fast for her already and she wanted it to slow down. It seemed to grab hold of her and force her until she found herself inside of a chilled quiet place. The space where the woman who’d abandoned her was currently dying. 

Doors upon doors surrounded her and yet only one mattered. Room 315. White. Plain. Behind this door laid her mother.

“You don’t have to go in if you don’t want to.” Warm almond brown orbs stared into her, compassion and understanding within. Hiroto. Her gaze grew teary. Swallowing tightly, she pressed her face into his chest, welcoming his warmth as he surrounded her with his strong arms. 

“I feel like a horrible person…cause I don’t want to see her.” He kissed the top of her head.

“I know baby. But you’re not.” To their surprise, the door opened without warning and a man stepped out and froze, looking dead at her. Roto grew stiff and his grip on her tightened ever so slightly.  The man blinked and looked at her far longer than she liked. 

“Are you relatives?” The man asked, glancing up at Hiroto. 

“No. We’re just passing through.” She quipped up, gripping his hand. 

“Oh.”

“Come on.” She pulled him along quickly until they were around the corner. 

“Rae…”

“I’m not ready… I’m not ready…” He didn’t speak as he let his fingers caress her back as they made their way to the exit. 

***

All of this was so discombobulating. Lifting a cigarette to his mouth, he sighed, blowing smoke up into the night air. He stared into the black sky, no stars or anything adorned the obsidian clouds.

“Roto?” He heard the balcony door open and he froze, turning to see Rae in one of his t-shirts. 

“Damn.” Flicking it over the balcony, he cleared his throat as she stepped out, coming beside him. 

“I know you don’t like being around me when I smoke baby. I’m sorry.” She sighed, waving her hand in dismissal. 

“I ain’t carin bout that right now babe. Really.” He relaxed some.

“Did you just come from the shower?”

“Yeah.” She answered, gaze distant. He pushed himself off of the railing and came to wrap his arm around her, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. 

“Wanna talk about today?” 

“We can…” Smiling against her, he pulled her into the hotel room. 

“Lemme get the day and this smoke off of me okay? Stay put.” He whispered against her, leading her to the couch. 

“‘kay babe.” He lifted his shirt and pulled it off, heading towards the bathroom. Few minutes later, he came back into the living room, towel drying his hair.  Sitting down next to her, he sighed in relief.

“Okay babe. I’m all ears.”

“Well… um…I don’t know where to start per se. It’s all happening at once.” 

“Yeah. It’s not enough time for you to process what’s happening.” 

“That’s what’s messing me up Roto. Like.. everything was so good and then… then this.”

“Mm.” He came to take her hand, slowly pulling her closer. 

“I think we should end this night right.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhm. I think we need to spend time in God’s Word. Hm?”

“Sure, I’d love that…maybe it’ll help me sort through my nerves and my emotions.”  Slipping an arm around her, he gently led her to their bed and went to grab their bibles. 

***

Her heart beat against her chest and she swore she could hear herself swallow. Her palms began to sweat and fingers trembled. Here she was again, standing in front of that damned white door, plain and unmarked. Nothing to show the life that dwelled behind it. Voices merged up and down the halls, silently delicate. Inside, she was furious. It’s like they were trying to force her to be here, be around her and it was more than pissing her off. She wanted to be anywhere but here. Everyone kept talking to her like she was unable to comprehend what was going on. But she was more than aware. The woman inside the room was dying. Yet, they wanted her to pity her. 

Mustering up a breath, she lifted shaky fingers to the knob. You already here so you might as well. Get it over with. Turning the knob, she opened the door quietly. The faint beep of a medical machine grew more and more intense as she silently stepped into the room. No one else was here but there was a faint smell of perfume. Someone had just left.

Coming down the narrow little hall, she pressed her back against the wall nearest to the opening of the room and clutched her fingers together. It’s too late to go back now. Clenching her jaw, she slowly peeked around the corner and laid eyes on a woman. Eyes closed, mouth slightly ajar. She froze. The woman was frail, literally nothing more than bones and skin. Her hands fell over the edge of the bed, nails brittle and bare. Before she could stop herself, she grew closer, inch by inch, eyes stuck on her face. What once was a full and lively countenance was now emaciated. Brown skin covered bone but even that was grey. When she couldn’t stand to look at her any longer, she eyed the room. Child-like pictures adorned the walls, pictures sat on a nearby bedside table. But, one caught her attention. 

It was framed and kept nearest her. Something she recognized. Her handiwork. It was a drawing of a stick figure woman and a stick figure girl. They held hands, faces shaded in with brown colored pencil. Big happy smiles completed their look. One simple sentence written below. This is me Ebere and this is my mommy. Tears welled up in her eyes and she felt a cry form in her throat. Turning, she looked at the woman for the longest time, anger spreading through her chest. Without another moment to spare, she went as quietly as she came, leaving the woman to sleep. Too many emotions felt to process. 

***

It is unfair. So terribly unfair. Why now is it that I must sympathize? Why is it now that I must put aside how I feel in the name of illness? No, I deserve to be allowed to be human and I deserve to feel nothing but rage. I am the victim. And she simply got what she deserved. 

***

“How is she Hiroto?” Stepping out into the cool morning air, he sighed into the phone. 

“She’s doing the best she can Father. Her birth mother abandoned her when she was a child. It’s something she’s never healed with.” Shou was quiet on the phone for a moment. 

“Poor child.” Is all he could say. 

“I’ve been trying to be there for her but sometimes, she pulls away.”

“That’s normal I think. Leave her alone to sort out her thoughts and be there for her when she needs you.” 

“Mm.”  He knew all too familiar the look that rested beneath her beautiful brown eyes. He knew it very well. This process was making her uncomfortable in the worst of ways and it was one that she’d tried to push to the back of her mind, to forget. But he knew better than anyone else that it always resurfaced. Her emotions were raw and open and she had spent most of their trip crying. 

He wished he could take the pain away… the unhealed scars, all of it. Inhaling deeply, he let the changing skyline direct his way for a moment before he heard his father speak to him.

“People are fragile. They break but they can also bend. Their lives are not promised forever so they must make the best of it.”

“Mm.”

“If I remember correctly you did tell me you two had a conversation about children yes?” Turning, he viewed the subject of their discussion. She was currently putting her hair up into a large puff. 

“Mm.”

“More fragile than people are parents themselves. We are not promised to our children forever. We only are allotted one mother and one father Hiroto. It’s of upmost importance to value and cherish what we do have when we have them.”  He was right. 

“I have no doubt that Rae will reach the place where she determines just what kind of mother she will choose to be. Regardless of how her mother has been in the past. She has the choice to decide how she wants to carry on not just our legacy but her own as well.” 

“Everything you are saying makes so much sense….truly.” He said with a small smile, running fingers through his hair. As Shou had grown older, he had become like a treasure chest of wisdom and life experience. Even though their past had been full of pain, he had become one of his most trusted confidants. 

“I want nothing but happiness for you Son.”

“Mm.”

“Allow the spirits to guide you and give my beautiful daughter in law a kiss for me. Tell her that she is strong enough to overcome this too.” 

“I will.” Hanging up, he turned around and made his way towards her. 

***

“You should write an autobiography.” Turning, she found Roto standing in the doorway, hands in pockets, observing her. She’d been sitting down journaling. 

“You think so?”

“Mm.”

“You think my story would be worth reading? Title would be ‘Daughter Won’t Forgive Cancer-Ridden Mother’. Sure that’d be a bestseller.” 

“Hey now…”  He came into the room and leaned down to press a kiss to her neck. 

“Remember what I told you about being gentle with yourself.”

“Yeah but I can’t be. I feel horrible Hiroto. I am so angry but yet I know she’s at the end of her life…it’s like I feel heartless and justified all at the same time.” He softly caressed her shoulders. 

“I felt the same way… when my mother first began to grow ill.” She looked at him, eyes widened a bit. 

“Really?”

“Yeah. A part of me wanted her to die. All of the pain she’d caused me…still tries to cause me is inexcusable.”

“I haven’t asked how she’s doin.”

“She’s doing as best she can. Her organs are failing her.”

“Damn…”  

“To me, it doesn’t much matter. She will live long enough to watch us grow and live the life she never wanted us to have.”  His voice was soft and quiet and she glanced up at him.

“Hiroto,”

“Rae, you and I are on the same journey. Remember that.” She was quiet, taking in the weight of his words. He lifted his hands and caressed her face and warm toasty brown eyes captivated her. 

“You deserve to feel the way you do. Just like it took time to repair you and I…when you are ready, you will forgive your mother.” She bit her lip. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her, pressing his face against her hair. 

“We have to forgive them baby. Not because they deserve it but because we are called to do it.” He lifted her chin to make her look at him. 

“One day you’re going to be the mother of my children. They deserve to know that you and I gave it a chance.” Her eyes grew teary but she welcomed the press of his lips against hers. She offered a reply full of unshed tears.

“You’re…you’re right.” She swallowed tightly as he let go of her. Damn him when he made sense.

“I’m going to run you a bath and make something for dinner okay?” He called, heading into the kitchen. 

“O-Okay.” Glancing down at what she’d wrote, she felt her heart twist. 

*** 

Caught up in her own pain, she didn’t stop to think about what her actions could mean for their future. She’d always vowed to never be like her… but what if she passed the same pain down the line? Pulling her fingers together in fists, she let the tears slide down her cheeks. But her eyes filled with a strange determination. She had to face her. Not as the hurting little girl she’d left in the train station but as a woman determined to end the cycle. No matter how much it fucking hurt, she had to.

*** 

Eyes were trying to look anywhere but at him. Because he held sense. He had the sense and all she wanted to do was run. Standing in front of that damned white door again and she was feeling nauseous.  

“Babe…”

“…I don’t want to.”

“Rae, look at me.” Eyes turned to look at a gentle gaze. 

“Don’t run from this.”

“But…”

“No buts.” He caressed her shoulders. 

“Let’s do this together okay? I’m right here with you.” Slipping fingers in between hers to stop the nervous fretting, he gripped them. Lifting her fingers to his mouth, he kissed them. Taking a shaky breath, she nodded. Holding on tight to his hand, she began to open the door.

*** 

 

She was sitting up today, in a chair far off by the window. They’d entered quietly so she hadn’t noticed them. For the longest time, she stood there, gripping Hiroto’s hand until she was sure it was going to come off. Yet, he didn’t complain or wince. He stood straight and close, her support. 

“Ms. Harris?” Slowly, the woman turned and grew still. Eyes wide, she couldn’t find words to say. 

“Do you know who I am?” Her voice sounded bitter. 

“Of course I do. You my baby girl.” 

“No I’m not.” The sunken eyes grew sad. 

“Yes you are! You are my one and only daughter. Ebere Lenae Harris.” She couldn’t speak and the overwhelming urge to cry hit her in waves. She stared at her for the longest, lost for words. This is not the woman who abandoned me. The woman in front of her was unrecognizable and only fragments and pieces were left. The cancer had wiped any and all trace of her mother away, leaving a shell behind. 

“Who this man with you?”

“He’s my husband.” The woman stared at him and some trace of maternal protection wafted across her features. 

“What’s yo name?” His throat grew tight but he licked his lips and forced himself to speak. 

“Hiroto ma’am.” 

“You bein good to my baby girl Hiroto?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Good. That’s all I can ask for.” She eyed the room to find those pictures still up on the walls. 

“Ms. Harris, I gotta question.”

“Ask it.”

“Why’d you abandon me?”  She once again grew still and for a moment seemed like she was pondering over the question. 

“I did you wrong Lele. I know I did.”

“That’s all you have to say for yourself?” 

“Rae..” At that, she ripped her hand away from his. 

“After everything you did, you can’t say nothin else Ma?”

“If I explained myself would you understand? Would you accept it?”

“Whether I accept it or not is my decision. You abandoned me at that train station and you didn’t give a good damn about me! I deserve to know the reason why!” Her voice had grown loud and heavy with anguished anger. 

“I…” Before she could continue, she began to cough and wheeze. 

“A-Are you okay?” He asked, stepping towards her. 

“I can’t do this with you today baby. I’m too tired. Too tired.” Not satisfied with her answer, she turned on her heel and walked out, leaving them alone. He slowly inched towards her. 

“Ma’am…”

“Go after Lele.” Fist closed, he nodded and soon left her in the wake of another coughing fit. 

*** 

“Rae!” Nothing. 

“Rae, stop!”  Not one flick of the head or sound. She kept going, ignoring him. He quickly caught up to her and took her arm, turning her around.

“Stop it! Just…” She didn’t say anything else because he’d pulled her into a tight hug, his scent invading her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked quietly, chin pressed against the top of her head. She didn’t reply and that bothered him. 

“Rae, talk to me.” 

“What do you want me to say Hiroto?” Her tone of voice was biting.

“Anything.”

I have nothing to say.’” 

“You have to let it out. Don’t keep it in.” She pushed away from him. 

“I don’t want to talk about that evil bitch. I don’t want to even think about her. She left me in a train station and can’t say a damn thing when I confront her about it. She might as well have aborted me. At least I wouldn’t have had to experience this shit.” At that, he grabbed her and shook her, bringing her to halt. 

“Don’t say things like that Rae. Don’t.” Instead of being angry she suddenly fell apart in his arms, her emotions overwhelming her. 

“I told you…I couldn’t… do..do this shit…..” She sobbed against him. People glanced at them as they passed but he didn’t care. His hands shook and his throat was so tight it hurt to swallow. Tears welled up in his eyes but he held them back… barely. Sighing against her weeping form, he spoke quietly.

“It’s okay…let it happen, let it come.”  For the longest time, they stood in the hallway, outside room 315, letting years of pent of pain flow through. 

*** 

“Mama,” Little brown feet stood in shallow water, letting the tide tickle the toes. 

“Yeah?”

“How come you always send me to grandmama?” Her mother was quiet, eyes locked on the rolling waves that were soon to come in. Sighing, she reached down to splash her feet in the water. 

“Lele.” Looking up, she found her mother’s eyes, filled with an emotion she’d never seen before. 

“You don’t like goin to see granma?” She shook her head. 

“No mommy I love granma. I just like bein with you. That’s all.” Offering a weak smile, her mother took her hand. 

“We gon have to go soon baby girl. Gon getcha fun out.” Before she could control herself, she yipped and ran off across the beach, hearing her mother’s soft humored laughter. 

*** 

When she had awakened, she woke up with a resolve. She’d gotten up and showered. Pulling her hair up and away from her face, she got dressed. When she turned around, Roto was awake, sitting up yawning. 

“Headed out?” He asked, sleep still in his voice. 

“Mmhm.”

“Going to see your mom?” 

“Yeah.” Finally, he opened his eyes and slowly crawled to the edge of the bed, pressing his face against her stomach. 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Sliding fingers into his hair, she wrapped arms around his neck. 

“Nope. I wanna do this by myself. I gotta do this by myself.” Lifting his face, he searched her eyes and when he didn’t see any uncertainty, he lifted up, pulling her against him. 

“I’m proud of you Rae.” She welcomed a peck on the lips. 

“I’ll be here when you get back.” 

“Mmkay baby.” 

“I love you anata.” 

 

*** 

The tension in the room was so palpable you could cut it with a knife. She sat once again in the chair closest to the window. Her heart monitor beeped and the sunlight seemed to mock them both as it shined brightly into the room. 

“You came back.”

“I had to get my answers. Once I do, I’m leaving.” The bald head that was once covered in full thick coils turned and their eyes met. 

“Sit down Lele.” At the name she’d tried so hard to forget, she grew stiff with anger. That little girl had died, thanks to Peter Lugiano, Anthony Rossi and all the countless random others. Lele was gone. Even so she obliged, sitting as far away from her as possible, she eyed her as she began to cough. 

“I-I owe you some explanations don’t…don’t I?” Her voice sounded tired and weak.

“You sure do.” Her biological mother turned as best as she could so she could face her. 

“Baby, first lemme say this to you…I’m sorry.” That cut her to the quick and she gripped the chair. 

“I am so so sorry…for what I did to you. It wasn’t right and you didn’t deserve it.” Instantaneously, she began to tear up. Those words she’d ached to hear for so fucking long. They dripped in intense regret and sorrow. 

“I had a problem baby. I had a problem and it destroyed me.” 

“What was it?” 

“Heroin.” The weight of her words hit her like a sack of bricks. 

“I didn’t mean to get hooked on it but it happened and I can’t take that back.” 

“What’s that got to do with me?” She interjected, voice hard. Those sunken eyes looked at her, taking her in her entirety. 

“It had everything to do with you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“When you was a little girl you asked me why I sent you to stay with your grandma. You went there for two reasons. One because I wanted to get high. And two… because…because I felt like a foolish woman for raising you the way I did.”  She had no choice but to keep listening to her as she continued, 

“I tried my hardest baby but I knew I couldn’t provide for you the way I wanted to. So, you went with my mother. It was either that or the city was gon take you from me and I didn’t want that.” The reality of her information was starting to make her head spin. She had been a drugged out single mother with no help and no support. That shook her. It disgusted her. 

“That man you was with that one time in the car. Who was that?” Her mother swallowed and it sounded like it was a struggle. 

“He was yo daddy.” 

“My-My daddy?”

“Yeah. I was beggin him for some money cause I couldn’t feed you.” She remembered only certain bits of the large tall man who seemed to dwarf her mother. She remembered her mother’s head disappearing from the view of the window and the man make a low throaty sound. She was too young to realize what was happening. 

“Did he give it to you? After you slept with him?” 

“Yeah…it was enough for a month.”

“What else he give you Ma?” 

“A month’s worth of heroin. That was my payment and it was enough for me.” She hadn’t ever thought she would speak with her mother about any of this and the raw emotion pouring from the woman was too much. 

“I knew when we went to the train station that I was gon leave you. I hadn’t had any choice baby. They was gon take you from me. Ya grandma had told me I couldn’t bring you around anymore. What was I supposed to do? Give you to foster care?” Sadness hit her in the gut. Like so many women in the Black community, she had fallen prey to the system… she’d become a stereotype… the stereotype. It hurt to see it happen so close to home. 

“I was gon come back for you Lele. I promise I was… after…after I got my fix and got some more money… we was gon get us a place and I was gon try to work and put you in school. By the time I came back to the station you was gone.”

“Yeah I was taken by a perverted mobster who began to pimp me out. That’s how my life started after you forcefully pushed me out of it.” Her eyes grew wide and an intensely painful cry came from her, sending chills all over her body. 

“My baby…. I’m so sorry…. I’m so so sorry…” She began to weep, skeletal hands lifting to cover her face. She stared at her for the longest, tears of her own welling up in her eyes. She didn’t stop them as they fell down her cheeks. Her heart crumbled into pieces and she slowly got up from the chair. 

“I wanted to do right by you baby I swear. I wanted to give you a good life.” She didn’t stop until she stood over her, getting as close as she could tolerate. The smell of death surrounded her and she was beginning to look gray. 

“I’ve wondered for so many years… I thought you didn’t want me.”

“No baby girl… I wanted you more than anything. Even the heroin. I stopped after I couldn’t find you and went to get help. I wanted to find you, I wanted to be a better mother to you Ebere.” She couldn’t stop herself from wrapping arms around her thin fragile frame. 

“Mama…” 

“I never stopped lookin for you. I never gave up.” She began to cry, holding her as tight as she could. In that moment, despite the anger… relief and an overflowing abundance of love flushed her from head to toe and for that moment… she didn’t….couldn’t hate her. 

“D-Don’t cry Mama…” But she did, enough that it forced more tears to come from her. 

“I missed so much…so much….” Her forlorn gaze drifted up to hers. 

“You’ve grown into such a beautiful woman Lele…” Swallowing tight, she spoke. 

“T-Thank you…” Letting go of her, she stood back as the woman began to cough again, more intensely than before. 

“I been…been waitin for you…” She wheezed out, starting to grip her chest. She turned and went to push the call light, eyes heavy with tears. Soon, a flood of nurses came into the room and asked her not to kindly to leave. She found herself looking at the door and guilt stabbed her in the heart. She’d gotten answers and they weren’t ones she were ready for, she had gotten what she’d came for. Throat tight, she left and once she reached her car, she wept. 

***

He lifted his hands to gently caress her cheeks. 

“What do you need from me?”  She was quiet for a while but the overflowing love in his eyes made all the emotions she felt come to the surface. She began to sniffle, a sign tears were sure to follow. Upon coming home, she’d been an emotional wreck and instantly, he was there, dropping everything he had been doing.

“I don’t know…” He pulled her into his lap and covered her with warmth as she began to sob against his chest, bringing hands up to grip his shirt. Pulling her close against him, he kissed the crown of her head. 

“Let me take care of you.” She welcomed his thumbs as they wiped the tears from her cheeks a bit. 

“‘kay…” He leaned down and kissed her. She sniffed and bit her lip, slowly pulling away from him. He didn’t let her get far, slowly lifting her into his arms. Heading towards the bathroom, he put her down. 

“Take your off clothes babe.” He spoke softly as he began to fill the tub with water. 

“‘kay.” Once the temperature was just right, he stepped back and turned around, finding her naked, looking off in the distance. Coming to her, he gently took her face in his hands. 

“Stay in as long as you like. I know you’re hungry so I’ll make us something to eat.” She offered a weak smile and pressed against him, letting his arms come around her. 

“Thank you Roto…” He smiled against her lips before kissing them. 

“Don’t thank me baby.” It amazed her how clear his gaze was. She wanted to dive right into them.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” He left her to get in and came into the kitchen. Running fingers through his hair, he sighed deeply before washing his hands. Tonight was a Miso Salmon and Broccolini Gomaae kinda night. Something comforting but something that would give her the energy she needed. Just as he got started, his phone rang. Tobu. He answered, giving the salmon another flip. 

“Mosh Mosh?”

“Hiro-kun…”

“Hey Tobu-kun.”

“How’s Rae?” 

“She’s not all that great right now but she’ll be back soon.”

“Her mother has cancer?”

“Yeah.”

“Damn. I was never told about any of it. I thought her mother in New York was her mother.”

“It’s a long story, one that Rae will have to tell you.”

“I gotcha.”

“What are you doing?”

“Sitting up worried about you two.”

“Don’t be To-chan. We’ll be all right.” 

“How do you feel about everything Hiro-kun?” He licked his lips. 

“Whatever Rae needs is what I’ll be. That’s it.”

“That’s real.”

“Mm.”

“Please tell her I’m thinking about her. I want you guys to be okay.”

“I will. Don’t worry. We’ll recover from this just we’ve done everything else.”

“Mm.” 

“Baby?” He turned towards the sound of her voice and shifted the phone, reaching to drizzle glaze over the salmon. 

“Tobu, I’ve gotta go. I’ll let you know when we leave New York.”

“Yeah man, do that please. Take care of yourself too.”

“I will.”

“See you later.”

“See you.” Hanging up, he grabbed some plates. 

“All done babe?” He called, starting to put everything together. 

“Yeah.” Her voice was right behind him and he turned, taking her in. She’d washed all the dried tears from her face and donned a cute pajama set, pink and feminine. 

“Good. Dinner’s done.”

“Roto you ain’t-”

“Hush. Don’t.” He replied with a small grin. She pursed her lips but otherwise stayed quiet. 

“I go turn on the tv.”

“Yeah go do that.”

“Smartass.” She said under her breath as she went into the living room. He chuckled, grabbing the plates. Coming into the small great room, he watched as her eyes lit up at the abundance of goodness right in front of her. 

“Dig in sweetheart.” He said with an amused grin, watching as she practically began to inhale the food. As he ate, he glanced down at a piece of paper by his side. Glancing down at the words, he felt his heart swell. 

 *** 

Abba God, help me not to be bitter. As much as she’s hurt me… after today… after today…I don’t think I can hate her. Help me to forgive my mother…please. 

*** 

Their stay was approaching the end and in such a short amount of time, she’d experienced a myriad of emotions. She wanted one last time to see her before they left. This time with Hiroto. Holding to him tight, they entered the hospice. Coming to her room, she knocked quietly before opening the door. 

“Ma?”

“Here baby…” Her voice sounded even weaker than it had before. 

“I brought my husband with me.”

“Okay.” He bowed deeply, not caring that she’d look at him funny. At the end of her life, he would show her respect… no matter what. This woman had given him Rae and he would be eternally grateful for that. 

“Ebere,”

“Yes?” 

“Take all these pictures down baby. They belong to you.”

“Don’t you want to look at them some more?”

“Give them to my grandchildren. Tell em they grandma loved them.” Her throat got tight but she obeyed, taking down every picture she’d made of her mother, pictures of her mother in her youth, everything. This was her mother’s legacy, the only thing left she had to offer. Cradling them to her, she swallowed. 

“It was nice to meet you Hiroto.”

“It has been more than a pleasure.”

“Nice young man…you’re good to her. You love her. Good. Lele needs a strong man to protect her.” 

“Yes ma’am.” The woman took a long extended breath. 

“I can’t visit long today Lele. I’m tired.”

“We goin back home so today is our last day.”

“Thank you…for givin me the chance to speak. Thank you for being such a good daughter and not abandoning me… you’re still such a good sweet girl. Mama’s baby…” She swallowed thickly and clutched the pictures to her. 

“Ms. Harris?” They turned to find her nurse peeking her head in. 

“Time to go?” Her mother seemed sad and glanced at her. 

“You can always come back tomorrow.” 

“Gon get outta here Lele. Member what I told you.” Handing the pictures to Roto, she went to hug her mother one last time. Holding on to her, she felt her heart fill with love as her mother lifted to press thin lips against her cheek. 

“Love you baby…” Feeling her throat fill up with tears, she spoke quietly against her. 

“I love you too Mama.” 

“Go head.”

“Okay..” As they left the room, she began to cry. Roto pulled her close and held her until the tears stopped. But, the tears continued to fall in her heart. 

*** 

A few days after they’d touched back down in Tokyo, she’d gotten the call that her mother had finally passed away. She’d just got out of a meeting and stepped into the hallway. 

“If you’d like Ms. Iwase, we can send you some of the things she requested as her last will.” 

“S-Sure.” 

“We’re sorry for your loss. She could only talk about you. She really loved you.”

“Thank you. Have a great day.”

“You try to take it easy Mrs. Iwase.” Hanging up, she took a deep breath and went to the elevator. Going up to the rooftop lounge, she was glad no one was there. Reaching down, she took off her heels and sat down in one of the comfy chairs. Leaning back, she stared out into the beautiful day that was below her. The sunlight shined radiantly and it cast a golden glow over the entire city. The news wasn’t as much of a surprise as she thought it would be. Last night, she had had a dream about her and right now, it was all she could think about. 

 

*** 

Feet dove into wet sand and water lapped at skinny brown legs. Screams and childish laughter filled the air and arms came around a little girl. 

“Mama, I thought you was gon get in the water with me.” The little girl grinned up at the woman, a woman who was beautiful. Her skin was a smooth Godiva brown, her short kinky coils cut short in a small afro. Her eyes gleamed with humor and love. 

“I ain’t gettin in but I watch you. Gon run Lele!” She let her go and she took off. As she ran, she began to change into an adult form. Childish smile still on her face, she panted and turned as the woman came behind her. 

“Rae,” At the different name, she looked up. The woman was now dressed in a beautiful white dress, it seemed to ebb and flow away from her like the waves of the water. She still had that beauty and now they glowed as bright as the sun. 

“Thank you for everything.”

“No Ma… I… I wanna thank you.” Her mother came closer to her and took her hands. 

“You gave me a chance. The chance I was waitin on and for that I love you evermore.” She pulled her into her arms and her touch was warm and full of love. 

“Treat those babies right here?” Pulling back, she blinked quizzically. 

“Babies? Ma I don’t have no babies…” The woman smiled and slowly let her hand skim her stomach. She inhaled and tears began to fill her eyes. 

“Be the kind of mother I wasn’t Rae. Be better than me.”

“No mother is perfect Ma. You…you tried…” 

“Not hard enough. Promise me you ain’t ever gon give up on them babies.”

“Never…I won’t.”

“Promise me you gon love them no matter what and do whatever you have to to ensure they live good lives.” The intensity of her gaze was starting to unnerve her but she found herself promising. 

“You’re gonna be a good mama baby. Just don’t make the same mistakes I did. Be better than me. Do things better than I did.” She took her hands away from her stomach. 

“I love you baby girl. I’ve always loved you and I’m always gon love you.” The way she spoke suggested finality and when she hugged her again, she pressed a kiss to her forehead. No words were said next as she stood there hugging her mother and little by little, she reverted back to a little girl. She heard the sound of the waves, sand and sunlight and it grew still. 

*** 

She knew immediately when she woke up what it was. Her mother had said her goodbyes. She wasn’t sure how she felt… her emotions too many to name just one. Grief, anger, pain, sadness and love. She hadn’t said anything to Hiroto about it and didn’t plan to. No, this was something she had to deal with alone. 

With her mother passing away, it had gotten her thinking about so much. What kind of mother would she be? What legacy did she want to leave her children? Don’t make the same mistakes I made baby. Her mother’s words resonated in her spirit and she sat up in the chair. She’d finally come to a decision. 

 

She would be a mother who didn’t abandon her kids. NO matter what. She’d never leave them. She’d decided long ago that she wouldn’t ever be a baby mama and she’d kept her word to herself. She’d always desired to bring her children up in a house with a mother and a father. But, it was even better that Hiroto wouldn’t just be a father. A father could be anybody, a faceless body. No, Hiroto would be a daddy. Married to mommy. In love with mommy. A man who would sacrifice anything to make sure they all were taken care of. And her? She’d give her soul to protect them… to make sure that they were loved, knew they were loved and were created out of love. Bending to put her heels back on, she took a deep breath. A mother’s love was never to be doubted and sometimes it made women do stupid things. But, after all, wasn’t it eternal?


End Notes:

Hey y'all! This was a chapter that was very very personal for me. It's exactly what I felt when I went to see my father before he passed away from cancer. It was difficult to write in some spots but I thank God I went to see him even though I didn't want to. At the end, after all the anger had subsided, I was able to turn into a little girl again and tell him I loved him. It was beautiful and I will never forget it. I am writing writing writing family and I'ma try to roll with it because it's been forever since I've written this much LOL. Hope you enjoy! 

P.S- I will upload those pictures to my previous chapter since Photobucket is deciding to work! hehe. Have a wonderful weekend! See you soon and love you! 

D&L 

Transcendence by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:


WARNING: EXPLICIT LOVE MAKING LIES AHEAD SO PREPARE YASELVES. RAE AND ROTO HAVE SNAPPED. GET COLD BATHS TOGETHER IF YOU NEED EM CAUSE AIN'T NO GAMES BEEN PLAYED THIS CHAPTER. THANK YOU. 

Soundtrack: 

(LISTENING TO IT WHILE READING IS ENCOURAGED)

Sabrina Claudio-Belong to You 

 Sabrina Claudio-Stand Still 

 Sabrina Claudio-All to You 

Sabrina Claudio-Orion's Belt

Jill Scott-I'm Not Afraid 














 






    The smell of lush green and wood drifted into their nostrils and the sun was still so bright as it bared down on them. It was mid June and they’d traveled down to Kyoto for her first Iwase celebration of the season. Summer Solstice. Apparently, it was a big thing; reason why everybody and they mama had gathered here. 


    “Baby where we goin?” She asked, blowing hair up that had fallen from her braid. 

    “Just a bit further anata.” The pounding of the feet against stone made her swallow and she pitied the man who carried them on the rickshaw. Soon, they came upon massive torii, brilliantly red. Her mouth dropped open and she was at a loss for words as the man slowly lowered them. IWASE carved in stone sat outside the torii. Looking up at him, she watched as he smiled and got out of the seat, helping her out. 

    “Roto…this is your family property?” He smiled handsomely with a brief nod.  

    “Mm. It’s one of our original family homes.” She’d never seen this place before. The beauty of it all was making her dizzy. Turning, he bowed before the man and paid him. Thanking them, he took off. Coming to smile handsomely, he nodded his head towards the huge house. 

    “Ready?”

    “Yep.” 

*** 

    It was a bit of a walk from the main entrance but once they’d arrived, he let out a breath. All of it screamed home. Coming to help Rae up onto the small bridge leading to the main house, he took in her expression. Water surrounded them, lily pads and flowers floated so delicately up top and still she hadn’t said a word. 

    “Rae?” Turning eyes onto him, she took a breath. 

    “I’m… speechless baby. It’s… it’s so beautiful here.” Feeling his cheeks warm, he pulled her closer. 

    “I’m glad you feel at home here.”

    “Of course.” 

    “Hey, you made it!” They turned to find Tomoya walking up the stone path. 

    “Tomo, good to see you.”

    “Yeah, same here. Rae, oh my God you’re a vision!” Pursing her lips playfully, she crossed her arms. 

    “Still flirty as hell I see. You ain’t ever learned.”

    “We Iwase men like to do things the hard way if you haven’t already found that out.” He replied with a flirty wink. 

    “Getcho cousin Hiroto.” He grinned while Roto smirked. 

    “Ooh hoo hoo. Still feisty as ever too. Damn.” 

    “You’re going to get punched Tomo.” He said, laugh deeply humored. 

    “Tomoya, leave Rae alone.” The sound of Hana’s voice made her squeal and she ran past him to engulf her in a hug. 

    “HANA!”

    “Hi Hime.” 

    “It’s been forever!”

    “Mm. Hiroto’s been taking good care of you. I can tell. You’re still glowing bright as ever.” She blushed becomingly, bringing a grin to his face. 

    “Yeah, he’s… he’s been amazing.”

    “Good… Hiro-kun.” She said with a cheese as big as the sun. He came to her and took her face in his hands. 

    “How are you sakura?” She leaned into his touch with a pretty smile. 

    “I’m fine. Good to see you.”

    “Same.” 

    “UNCLE HIRO!” A young girl ran towards them, face bright with excitement. She ran all the way until she smashed into him, knocking a breath out of him. 

    

    “Saehime…”

    “Yes, it’s me.” He stood back and took her in. 

    “My have you grown up.” She blushed. 

    “How are you my little bird?” 

    “I’m well. I’m out of school for summer break.”

    “Ah. Have you been studying?”

    “Yes.”

    “Are you leaving the boys alone?” She giggled. 

    “Yes Uncle Hiro.” He grinned and laid his hand on top of her head. 

    “I will come by to visit you.”

    “Why, so you can scare off them off?”

    “That’s my exact reason.” They all laughed and she pressed her face against his chest. 

    “Uncle Hiro…I’m being a good girl. I won’t disappoint you.” His heart melted and he pressed a kiss against the crown of her head. 

    “You’ll always make me proud princess. Mind your books and stay away from the boys hm?” 

    “Mm.” 

    “Hi Rae-chan.”

    “Hi baby girl.” The two hugged tightly. 

    “You’re blossoming into such a beautiful little lady Hisae.”

    “Ah…t-thank you.” 

    “Okay we’ll all here so I say we get settled and grab some food.” Tomoya announced to the crowd, pulling them apart. 

    “Rae, let’s go put our things away.”

    “Okay babe. Hana, Sae…we’ll see you two in a bit.”

    “Mm.” Leading her down the ancient narrow hallways, they came into a massive suite filled with luxurious finery. All around, plentiful gardens surrounded them, opened by shoji.  The leaves seemed to speak, wisping with the gentle breeze.

    “This is our room?” He chuckled, bringing in her suitcase. 

    “Mmhm.” 

    “Damn.”

    “It’s been modernized over the years but pretty much everything has remained the same, save some elements.”

    “You ain’t kiddin.” He sighed once he got everything in. 

    “Did you want to go look around?” 

    “Boy yes! You kiddin?” Grinning, he reached for her hand. 

    “Let’s go while things are still relatively quiet.” 

*** 

    Men dressed in samurai regalia were by the door, made of stone, their stares hard and unwavering. Junhitoe were displayed in large clear cases, drawings of women they belonged to next to them. Breathless, she went up to one of them, placing fingers  on the glass of one.    

    “This is beautiful…” 

    “Ah, mm.” Hands came around her waist. 

    “The Court Ladies used to wear these. They were very heavy I’ve heard. Some of upwards of 14 separate robes worn.”

    “Whoa…”

    “Mm.” Coming to stand in front of a woman who looked much like the men, she lifted fingers to drift across her helmet. 

    “Roto, who is this?” 

    “Onna bugeisha.” 

    “Onna…bugeisha?”

    “Mm. This is a statue of Tomoe Gozen. She is regarded as a woman who shaped Japanese history. The women in my family, most of them were female warriors and they fought alongside Tomoe-dono.” She stared in awe. Whoa… 

    “This family just keeps getting better and better.” She said with a grin, eying him as he smirked. 

    “Indeed.”  Slipping fingers through hers, he continued to lead her on an adventure around the property until quite remeniscent of their early years, Shou announced dinner in the great room. When everyone had gathered, he stood up and cleared his throat. 

    “Thank you to all who have joined us this year for the solstice celebration. It’s good to see you all are well.” Sitting next to him, she slipped a hand around his arm, pulling it against her chest. 

    “I would like to inform you all that this year will be a bit different. There is something that must take place before we are to engage in our usual festivities.” The serious tone of his voice grew chatter to a close. 

    “It has come to my attention that one of our own has violated someone in the family, a slew of sins that must not be tolerated. For now, I will leave them anonymous. However, being that we come from a warrior family, a noble family.. it is only right that we settle this matter the way we’ve always done so. There will be a battle a day from now. Both parties are required to abstain from any distractions and mentally prepare themselves.” She grew cold as Shou glanced towards them, his eyes locked with Hiroto. 

    “At midday it shall commence. For now, enjoy dinner.” As he sat down, she turned to look at Roto. 

    “Why was he lookin at you?” She asked, letting go of him. He grew stiff but was careful not to let any emotion show on his face. He wasn’t fooling her. 

    “Let’s talk about this later Rae.” 

    “We’ll talk about it now.” Hana turned to glance at them, Tomo not too far behind. He tightened his jaw, avoiding her gaze. 

    “Later.” Annoyance all over her, she poked him in the chest. 

    “I said now.” His eyes drifted up to hers. 

    “Rae, what’s going on?” Tomoya said, coming up to their little table. 

    “Ask Hiroto.” He sighed, irritation starting to blend into his features. 

    “I will talk about this when we are in private Rae. Sit down. Please.” She sucked her teeth loudly and crossed her arms. Not happy about it, she sat down, eyes glaring at him.  Tomo exchanged looks with him but he said nothing, calmly eating as if there wasn’t any tension between them. She couldn’t wait for dinner to be over. Her stomach wouldn’t stop rolling and turning and she needed answers.  


*** 

    “What the hell was that?” She hadn’t waited until the shoji was closed at least. Sighing heavily, he closed them. 

    “Rae,”

    “Nah, don’t ‘Rae’ me. Answer me Hiroto.”

    “I will engage in a battle with Takamasa.” Her face grew incredulous. 

    “Are you serious?”

    “Dead serious.”

    “And you didn’t think I was important enough to tell me about this?” She growled, growing closer, anger blazing across her. 

    “It’s not like that.”    

    “Well how the hell is it? You was just gon up and fight this man and not tell me!”

    “Rae, it’s tradition. I won’t forsake that.”

    “Hiroto…” 

    “No. That’s the end of discussion.” She gathered up all of her anger and pushed him, radiating pain through his chest. 

    “Don’t you dare talk to me like that! I am your wife!” As she turned around, he grabbed her by the arm, pulling her back against him. 

    “What do you expect me to do?” He breathed against her, breath warm with anger. 

    “Consult me first! I deserved to know about this!” He loosened his grip on her arm and instead, brought his around her, holding her close. 

    “You’re right.” Angry tears welled up in her eyes. Even though he vibrated with emotion, his touch was gentle as his fingers skimmed her cheek. 

    “I was wrong for not telling you Rae. I apologize for that.” 

    “Yeah? And what of this stupid ass battle?”

    “That will still happen.” Sucking her teeth, she pushed away from him, the tears now starting to fall. 

    “So I have been rendered voiceless on this matter.” 

    “Baby… look at me.” 

    “No…” Coming behind her, he brought her gaze to his, touch light. 

    “I am your husband and I am undeniably an Iwase. I can’t ignore this and I will not let it go.  I will protect you. No matter what.” She sniffed and bit her lip. 

    “What if he hurts you Hiroto?” 

    “Don’t worry about that.” 

    “Promise me you’ll be okay.” He wrapped her up in his arms and lifted her, bringing her to rest against the thick wooden wall. She sucked up her tears, breathy inhales against his mouth. He didn’t say a word, not yet. Bringing his fingers up to tease her braid, he gathered it in his hands and pressed his lips against hers. Moaning softly, she gripped his gi tightly with her fingers. 

    “Promise me this Rae…” 

    “Yeah?”

    “After it’s over…promise that I can have you for my reward.” Fingers tightly grasping her bottom, he had come alive against her thigh and how he hungered. Licking her lips, she hummed softly as he came to kiss her neck. 

    “You can have me over and over again.” Opening her eyes, she held his gaze. 

    “Only if you don’t get hurt.” Licking her bottom lip, he pulled it into his mouth before speaking, voice low and throaty. 

    “I promise you that.” 

*** 

    The sound of a match sounded in the quiet room. Lighting candles, she quickly blew out the flame. Shadows cast on the walls and the smell of bubble bath wafted through the air. Sighing, she sluiced fingers through the water one last time. Putting her hair up and away from her face, she headed into the bedroom. Cool tatami chilled her feet and she came to sit down in front of the low mirror. Staring at herself, she examined herself from head to toe. Slowly, shoji opened. 

    “Mrs. Iwase, they’re ready for you.” Nodding, she licked her lips and stood up. Outside, her husband was preparing to spar. It wasn’t practice. This was the real deal.             Standing up, she checked herself one last time from the ornaments in her hair to the red paste that had been spread across her lips. It was time. Pressing her hand into the offered gentleman’s he slowly led her down the long narrow hallway. The shoji had all been opened and the heat from the summer was sticky and moist.

     Coming around the corner, all eyes fell to her. But, only one gaze rivaled that of the sun. He sat in hakama, brilliantly red. He didn’t have on a gi so his chest, abdomen and arms were on display. She swallowed thickly and bowed low, almost coming all the way to the floor in a curtesy but pushed back up on her legs and began to walk towards them. It had taken her a while to master that, thanks to Hana. 

    Lush green and stone gardens surrounded them, easily viewable by the many open shoji. His father Shou sat beside him, clothed in a formal kimono. He soon spoke. 

    “Thank you all for joining us. Today is a day that will be marked in our family history.” He motioned to the man she had prayed she would never see again approach them. Eyes cutting to the face of her husband, she watched as he instantly grew tight, intense anger forming in his features. 

    “Our Takamasa Iwase has committed a grave crime and it is up to us to rectify it.” 

    “What has been his crime?” An older couple demanded, sitting off to the side. She pursed her lips. Those must be his parents. 

    “Not only has he maliciously harmed a multitude of young women but he has coveted the wife of my son. These crimes are unacceptable.”

    “Shou, be reasonable here. Wanting another woman is not unordinary of Iwase men. That is our way.” Takamasa’s father reasoned. His mother, however, sat demurely behind him. Mute. 

    “It is not mine.” Hiroto spoke, voice low with thinly veiled rage. 

    “You are of the newer generation Hiroto-sama. It-”

    “When your son decided to go after what was mine, he made a grave mistake.” She grew warm and bit her lip. 

    “What have you to say for yourself Takamasa?” Shou hissed, looking at him like he was but a speck of dirt on the ground. 

    “I thought we settled this Hiroto. I haven’t sought you out since you almost dismembered me in my apartment.” 

    “It would have been a knife instead of my hand if I had it my way.” Hiroto shot back, anger making him tremble. 

    “We shall make this brief. As is our tradition, we spar to resolve our issues. As head of our family, you have not only wronged Hiroto’s wife but you have wronged us all Takamasa. You must atone for that.” 

    “He’s no fucking better than me! He’s been on a pedestal for far too long and I am fucking sick of it!” Takamasa snarled, pulling his gi out of his hakama hastily. He threw it to the ground and rushed out to pick up a katana. 

    “Let’s get this over with!” He called out, assuming a stance.She wanted to go to him but it wasn’t her place. She gripped her kimono at the knees as she watched him slowly get up, the anger inside of him making him look dangerous. He turned towards him. 

    “Will you not apologize to my wife? She deserves that much.”

    “I only apologize that I couldn’t take her when I had the chance.” He cracked his knuckles and started to descend on him. Takamasa didn’t wait and charged at him, swinging the katana. She began to get up but Hana grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. Gripping her hand tight, she watched as her heart beat into her feet. 

    Hiroto swiftly swerved out of the way and ran towards the rack that held weapons of choice. Quickly picking a katana, he unsheathed it and blocked another attack. 

    “You’re a fool Hiroto. You’ve brought her right to me.” 

    “As long as I’m breathing, you won’t touch a hair on her head.”   

    “We’ll have to change that then.” Hiroto charged at him and he grunted as he parried his blow. Everyone grew deathly quiet as they watched them fight. Takamasa started to pant and came to circle him. Hiroto didn’t move but his eyes followed his every move. 

    “If you had offered to share her, we wouldn’t be here. What kind of Iwase are you?” That didn’t get a reaction out of him and it pissed him off. 

    “I’m tired of always having to bow to you. The only one meant to bow underneath you is that pretty little wife of yours.” There. He said not a word but came towards him. He put up his katana to block and barely moved in time. Hair in his face, he glanced down at his hakama, now a gaping hole in them. He had still made contact and that unnerved him.

    “Parading her around in front of me is cruel Hiroto.” Hiroto said nothing, staring at him with enmity. He took the silence to laugh.

    “I don’t blame you. I’d boast too if I had that tantalizing little body underneath me.”

    “That’s always been your problem. Always wanting what was not yours to have.” His voice growled, low and full of venom. Her breath caught in her throat and as much as she didn’t want to in this moment, she couldn’t help growing moist. 

    He glistened with a thin sheen of sweat and his biceps rippled as he moved. His hakama clung to him like a second skin and drops of sweat moved their way down his chest in rivulets. He danced around Takamasa, moving with elegance and grace. Gripping her hands together, she licked her lips. Kick his ass Roto.

    As if he sensed her eyes, Takamasa met her gaze and the desire she felt quickly left her body.

    “You’ve forgotten your way Hiroto. You’re nothing now but a pussy controlled bitch.”  He grinned, sliding his eyes down her body. 

    “But then I can’t say I fault you too much. If I stayed buried between those cheeks of hers, I’d be lost too. Terribly lost.”   

    “Shut your fucking mouth!” Hiroto barked suddenly, making the hair on the back of her neck stand up. 

    “Choose your words about her carefully. They might just be carved into you.”

    “Now you see what I’m talking about Rae.” At the use of her name, she glanced at him, sick to her stomach. 

    “He never lets you do anything. Never lets you be free. I’d liberate you. I’d let you roam as freely as you wished.” She twisted up her mouth to reply but at a swift shake of the head from Hana, she bit her words back with her teeth. Her reply might make it worse and Hiroto looked like he was done playing with him. Now, he wanted blood.He inhaled deeply and crouched low, waiting for any sort of movement from Takamasa.  

    “I bet she’s dripping wet right now watching us fight like dogs over her.”Hiroto charged, twisting on his foot, bringing his katana down from above. The grin on Takamasa’s face quickly fell away as he tried to block it. He was too busy being distracted and hadn’t been fast enough.  The blade sliced his face, bringing blood to splatter across the ground. He grew hysterical clutching his face.

    “You motherfucker!” He shrieked, coming towards him. Yet, Hiroto didn’t move. She had started to sweat, her fingers gripping each other tightly. Move out of the way Hiroto. Still, Takamasa came until he swung at him. He drew an audible gasp from them as he caught his arm with almost lightening speed. Snapping his wrist, Takamasa screamed in pain and attempted to kick him. Before Takamasa could make contact, Hiroto caught his leg and pushed off of his feet, turning to cartwheel kick him. Once he landed on the ground, he grabbed his wrist. Hiroto lifted his katana and slowly approached him like a predator would his prey. Lethal. Face emotionless. 

    “My wrist! You broke my wrist!” He hollered at him, tears starting to well in eyes filled with hatred. Pulling a tantoout of his hakama, he leaned down quietly. Pressing the blade against his scrotum, he took in the fear that came over his face. 

    “N-no… w-wait…”

    “Where’s all that talk now you son of a bitch.”He flicked his hand and nicked him, the small incision making him yelp.  

    “H-Hiroto I-I take it back! I d-d-didn’t mean it!” 

    “Apologize to my wife.”Doused with sweat, Takamasa glanced towards her with panicked eyes, who in turn looked at him with disgust. 

    “I-I’m so-sorry R-Rae.”

    “Fuck you and your fake ass apology.” She spat, anger on her breath. 

    “You’re nothing like Hiroto and you never will be.” Pulling the blade away from in between his legs, Hiroto shoved it in the ground, right between his fingers, bringing a quite unbecoming scream from him. 

    “As of now, you will be barred from any and every Iwase property except for that of your parents. Consider the money we’ve given you cut off. You’ll no longer receive anything from the estate. All the sins you and your parents have committed will not be tolerated by anyone else in the Iwase family.”He turned eyes onto his parents. 

    “You’ve been given a strict budget that you must adhere to as of today. Every transaction you make will be monitored and given as report to me. Is that clear?”His father started to protest but his wife finally mad a move of her own, yanking him back down. 

    “Of course Iwase-sama.”She bowed before him, face pressing against the wooden floor. His father bit his tongue and soon bowed below him. 

    “Thank you for being so gracious with us. Our son has brought us disgrace and we stand by your disownment.” Shou stood finally and came over to where they were. 

    “Hiroto has been named victor of this sparring. We may now retire. Shouichi, help Takamasa off the premises.”The large foreboding man came and yanked him up, bringing a pained cry to him. 

    As the family started to disperse, she remained. Watching as he knelt to grab the katana, she swallowed as he struck the dense wood of a practice pole.

    “Hiroto,” Breathing hard, he turned to face her, his jaw tightened. 

    “Come here baby.” Lifting hands up to his face, she welcomed his arms that came around her.

    “It’s okay…you’re okay.” He was still tight with anger, muscles tight. 

    “No. It’s not. The way he talks about you…” He lifted, eyes meeting hers.     

    “He deserves to have his tongue cut out.”

    “I know babe.” Smoothing his hair back from his face, she kissed his cheek. 

    “You proved your point though. You did good baby.” Swallowing thickly, he pulled away from her.  

    “Rae,”

    “Come with me.” She stood and outstretched her hand, smiling softly at him. His gaze softened and he sighed, lifting her hand to press a kiss to it. 

    “Mm.” 


    


***

    Inhaling deeply, he relaxed under the gentle touch of small fingers as they deeply massaged his shoulders. Tonight had been draining. The whole process had been draining. But, all in all he was relieved. Up close and personal, she’d seen first hand what happened when you tried to come for what belonged to him. Feeling his chest swell a bit, he felt vindicated and he was sure she did too. Shou as well. He had grown furious upon hearing of what Takamasa had done. As her husband, he had to defend her honor. As his son, he couldn’t have let it slide. Sure, he’d made his little visit before hand. But the demand to fight hadn’t taken him by surprise. It was the Iwase way. They’d both taken the oath to defend their women, honor and tradition.

    “Relax Hiroto.” Her voice washed over him, lilting and soothing. Taking another deep breath, he opened his eyes to look up at her. Bringing a hand from the water, he slipped them into the heavenly mass of hair, now cascading past her shoulders. 

    “I am calm.”

    “No you’re not. You’re still tense from anger.”

    “Who says it’s from anger?” He spoke quietly, lifting up to kiss her bottom lip. 

    “Cause.” 

    “What if it’s not?” Relaxing her fingers against his shoulders, they drifted across his chest. 

    “Look, you need rest.” He pulled her closer, gaze growing dusky. 

    “I need you more.” Humming softly against his lips, she nipped his lip. 

    “And you’ll get me. After you get some rest.” He breathed her in, glancing up at her, gaze intense.Tonight she smelled like moon lilies and chamomile. Intoxicating. Inhaling deeply, he let her slip away. The cicadas chirped just beyond the shoji and he withdrew from the bath, stretching deeply. As much as he wanted her, he needed to take her advice. He still trembled with anger and his fingers itched to choke something or someone. It wouldn’t be fair to Rae to unleash all of that on her. He’d been damn careful not to hurt her and wouldn’t start now. When he was clear of mind, he’d come back to this little promise of hers. Yawning, he exhaled and dried off coming into their room. She laid stretched out on the plush futons which she had pushed together. Coming to lay down, he pressed his face against her. 

    “Feel better?” She asked sleepily, welcoming his arm around her. 

    “Mmhm.”

    “Good.”

    “Thank you for the bath.” He said quietly, kissing a shoulder. 

    “You welcome baby.” He snuggled closer  against her and closed his eyes. The rhythm of the cicadas soothed him into sleep. 

*** 

    She awakened face pressed to a bare chest and a sliver of sunlight. Warmth surrounded her and she moved closer. Already it was hot and sweat was making her juban stick to her. Forcing herself to get up, she yawned, stretching deeply. The sight of him always took her breath away and she soaked him up, eyes roaming from head to toe. There was a storm brewing up in the both of them and she knew sooner than later, it was going to explode with thunder. Pulling the juban up over her, she sighed deeply. Coming to sit at the low vanity, she grabbed her yukata and draped it over her shoulders. 

    There was a greater gladness in her heart. Even though she had fought tooth and nail to get him to not do it, she had had no choice but to surrender. It was tradition they said. She couldn’t dare deny them that. So, she went along with it, biting her teeth the whole way. But victory was truly hers. He had stayed true. He hadn’t gotten hurt, not even a scratch on him. Takamasa was sloppy, too caught up in his maniacal fantasies to really be a match for him. His words made her skin crawl and she wanted to punch his teeth down his throat. Eying her man who still slept soundly in the mirror, she smiled to herself. She’d been impressed and turned on and she had a feeling he knew it too. He was indeed a man of his word wasn’t he? Biting her lip, she began to comb through her hair. 

*** 

    The smell of perfume roused him. Groaning, he turned into the pillow for a bit. 

    “Mornin sleepy head…” 

    “Morning.” Lifting, he rustled his serious bed head and opened eyes, setting them on her. 

    “You hungry?” Yawning, he stretched. 

    “Yeah.” She turned around in her chair and chuckled as he slowly got up. He came over to her and plopped down behind her, pressing his face against her neck, spritzed with that maddening scent. 

    “How’d you sleep baby?” 

    “Slept good.”

    “You feel rested? Maybe you should sleep some more.” He shook his head and lifted up, pressing lips against her jaw line. 

    “I feel just fine.”

    “Mmkay…” Kissing her, he leaned in as she encircled him with her arms. 

    “Roto?”

    “Yeah babe…”

    “About last night…” His gaze penetrated her and his voice still laden with sleep replied in all seriousness. 

    “What about it?” She kissed his brow.

    “I…I wanted to…thank you.” 

    “I’d do it as many times as I needed to.  You know that.” Biting her lip, she watched as he lifted, yawning again. He reached up to rub his eyes, melting her heart.

    “Why don’t we go see what’s for breakfast?” 

    “Okay…” After a short while, they made their way into the great room, where all his relatives feasted, a million and one dishes covered the floors. At the sight of them, Tomoya waved them over. 

    “Morning Tomo.” She said with a yawn. 

    “Good morning Rae-chan. Hiro-kun.” He nodded, holding her hand as she sat down. 

    “Sleep well?” 

    “Mm. You?”

    “Like a baby.

    “Good.” She took in all the food around them and whistled. 

    “I forgot y’all be super duper extra around holidays and festivals. This much food is gunna make me sick.” Tomo grinned. 

    “Just another day in the life of an aristocrat my dear. After all this time, you’re still not used to it?”

    “I never will be. Y’all spoiled. It’s simple as that.” She said with a laugh. 

    “Dig in princess.” She pursed her lips at Tomo who teased her with his eyes. 

    “Don’t get hit.”

    “What? I can’t call you princess?”

    “No.”

    “So mean Rae.”

    “Hmmph.” Chuckling, Roto began to eat, small grin on his face. 

    “So Hiro, how do you feel after giving Takamasa the ass kicking of the century?” Tomo asked with a large obnoxious grin. She bust out laughing, tryin to cover her face. Bruh. 

    “Nothing. Glad it’s over.”

    “Aw come on. You feel somethin. Feels good doesn’t it?” Roto stayed quiet, save for a small little smirk. 

    “I knew it.” Glancing around, she saw that Hiroto’s inherited appetite spanned throughout the entire family, women included. Trying to withhold a very unbecoming laugh, she shook her head as Mr. Eat-Em-Ups damn near inhaled everything in sight. It almost made her the tiniest bit jealous how he could eat so much and remain so slender. 

    “You’re not hungry babe?” He asked, taking a drink of tea. 

    “Nah, just watchin you go to work.” His cheeks grew pink and he chuckled. 

    “I do that best don’t I?” He said with a wink. Pushing him, she began to eat, ignoring his soft cheeky chuckle. Rolling her eyes, she bit her lips in a smile. It brought a smile to her as she watched his relatives eat heartily. 

    “What are you two doing to do today?” 

    “Mm don’t know yet. Roto and I haven’t talked about it.” She hummed in thought. 

    “Well, I think we’re going to Kiyomizu-dera. We go every solstice.” Tomo said, taking a bite of egg. 

    “Ooh, I don’t think I’ve ever been there!” She piped up, wonderment in her eyes. 

    “Yeah, it’s pretty awesome if you’ve never been.”

    “Roto, what do you wanna do?” 

    “I have something in mind but it doesn’t involve Kiyomizu-dera.”    

    “Oh?” 

    “Yeah. It’s a surprise.” That got her attention and she peeked at him over her tea cup. 

    “Surprise?”

    “Mmhm.” 

    “Well, whatever it is, it should be good. Hiroto doesn’t surprise often.” Tomo replied with a shrug. 

    “You got me wonderin now.” She said with an eyebrow raised. He only chuckled. 

    “Gather around! We will be leaving in 15 minutes for Kiyomizu-dera! Please gather your belongings and your children!

    “Better go tell Jii-sama Princess. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you and Hiro-kun sneaking away for a day or two.” 

    “Call me princess one mo time.” 

    “I wouldn’t do it.” Roto said with a chuckle, glancing down at a piece of egg that Tomo was reaching for. She grabbed her hashi and picked up the piece of egg, bringing the two to protest.

    “Rae!”

    “Look, y’all two are dumb for this. I can’t with y’all.” Eating the morsel, she couldn’t help the laugh that came from both of their defeated faces. 

    “That was mean.” Tomo pouted, sticking out his lip like a two year old. 

    “That’s what you get for calling me princess.” 

    “I was just playing.” He shot back with a whine. 

    “Well…”

    “Rae…that was the best part… the last piece.” Roto came in second, pout bigger than the moon. 

    “Fix ya face. Don’t pout.” She said with a grin, squeezing his cheeks. He grumbled.

    “Okay pull yourselves together. Y’all over here actin like y’all ain’t never ate a day in ya life. Come on.” She said with a laugh, kissing Roto’s smushed lips. 

    “I want my surprise.” She politely bowed her head to everyone else and stood, quietly exiting. 

    “Your day is going to be so much better than mine.” Tomo said, reaching for his cup of tea. 

    “Shut up Tomoya.” 

    “Go after her.” Grinning, he stood up and with a smooth bow, brought the shoji to a close in pursuit of her. 

*** 

    “So, you two wish to leave the celebration hm?” Shou sat out on the engawa, cup of tea in his hand. 

    “I-If it’s okay with you Otou-san.” Rae said, bowing lowly before him. He glanced towards them. Hiroto sat straight, his posture formal and rigid. 

    “We’ll still be on the property. Just…away for a while.” He spoke calm as ever but he detected a bit of nervousness. Smiling to himself, he gently touched Rae’s back. 

    “Lift my dear. You don’t have to bow.” He was quiet for a while, staring between the two of them. 

    “You may go.” They sat there for a minute, blinking. 

    “We can?”

    “Mm. Hiroto, please make sure that you two make it back before we go to Gion.”

    “Mm.” As he watched them walk away, he chuckled to himself lowly. He could see the storm that had been brewing inside the two of them this whole time. He knew the rush of testosterone and desire, feeling a woman’s eyes on him. Your woman. He knew very well that reminding her just who she belonged to was just as satisfying as the battle. Smiling against his cup, he sipped slowly. Something told him he’d very well be hearing good news soon. News he’d been waiting to hear for a long time. 

*** 

    “Baby where we goin?” She asked, blowing hair up that had fallen from her bun. 

    “Just a bit further anata.” Pulling her past the dizzying scenes of summer, she followed him into a large hidden garden, away from the house. Flourishing green trees shot up as far as they could go and butterflies flitted around the water. Everything about it sent her on a high.

    “Hiroto…oh my goodness….” There at the edge of the large lake sat a private little lake house. Eyes smiling, he took her by the hand and led her closer until her feet crossed over the the small bridge and stood at the shoji.

    “Do you like your surprise?” He asked, balling up his lips. The smell of the flowers around them and the gentle lap of the water against the bank intoxicated her. 

    “It’s beautiful Roto.” Fingers teased her pinky. 

    “I brought you away for a quite selfish reason to be honest.” Looking up at him, she felt her legs turn to jelly as she got lost in those eyes. 

    “I wanted to make sure we would exist in absolute privacy. That way I wouldn’t have to restrain or restrict what I feel.” She could’ve broke down right there but swallowed, standing tall.     “It’s perfect baby.” In the moist heat, the shade brought much needed relief and the breeze picked up. 

    “Being around my family can be so exhausting sometimes.” She took in the tweet of the bird song and the lilting crash of the water against the bank. He smiled, dimples deepening as he sighed, sliding open the shoji. 

    “I know you’ll be hungry so I’ve arranged for a little picnic for us later on.” He spoke quietly, stretching out his long legs on the tatami. She came into the small abode and fell across the tatami, cool to the touch. 

    “Whose house was this?” She asked, face down, eyes closed. At the sound of rustling, she opened her eyes to find Roto taking off his yukata.

    “It served as a guest house for visitors and other members of the nobility.”  At the sight of him, she grew hot as the sun. He slowly came closer.

    “Come swim with me baby.” Her mouth grew dry and she felt a blush come to her face. 

    “Swim? You sure it’s okay to do that?” Laughing, he leaned down over her. 

    “Of course it is. The water’s fine Rae.” 

    “Yeah but…”

    “Who is here to stop us?” He whispered into her ear, making her eyes flutter closed. His voice sent shivers down her spine and his touch suddenly set her aflame. 

    “O-okay…” She prayed she had enough strength in her legs to stand and once on her feet, she slowly removed her gorgeous yukata. His eyes watched every move she made and it made her bite her lip as she kept going, removing the second robe. Letting it waft to the ground, she stood in her juban. Sheer and moist with sweat, it stuck like glue to her body, outlining every curve she had on her. 

    Liquid heat flooded her between her thighs as he admired her from head to toe. He came closer until he had kissed her deeply, hunger and desire slipping down her body in the form of his fingers. She moaned softly into his mouth as he part the thin sheer fold of her juban with tender fingers and skimmed her ribcage. The wind blew her hair and it whipped around her.

    “You’re so beautiful…” He said, his voice throaty and low. Intensity made his eyes darken and she lifted hands to press them against his chest.His hands came up to grab her cheeks, pressing her flush against him. 

    “I want my promise fulfilled.” Moaning under her breath, she melted against him, skin and body yearning. Love was going to be made so beautifully here, she could taste it. She didn’t say anything as he lead her towards the water bank. The breeze blew the thin juban and it tickled her all over her body, slipping down her shoulders some. 

    “It’s yours baby.” He licked his lips as she started to inch closer to the ripples that promised to cool them. Before he could catch her, she jumped into the water. 

    *** 


    He kicked his legs, close to the translucent white, close to her. She’d come up for air but he held his, swimming deeper. A peek of brown just within his reach, he coasted up, pulling her body against his as he came to the surface. Gasping against her shoulder, he slid arms around her waist, the current nice and gentle. Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply, the heat from the sun disappearing for just a moment. Fingers curled in his hair and she turned to face him. She had tried so hard to hide it but he’d seen it. The desire had been so plain on her face and it had turned him on. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist and those same fingers pulled his head back. He hummed as she licked the droplets of water off of his jaw. 

    “Rae…”  She pressed soft sweet kisses against those maddening little stars that littered his neck in delicate constellations. Cheeks warm, he opened his eyes to meet hers. There was a change that was here, a shift that seemed to rock them and he wanted it with everything in him. He licked his lips, cheeks growing a faint scarlet. 

    Pulling away from him, she captivated him with those sleepy brown eyes, hooded with desire and love. She took a breath and fell beneath the calm easy current, suddenly disappeared under the water. Pushing the water back from his face, he drifted deep in the depths, desperate to find her. Coming up, he found her waiting for him on the bank, hand outstretched. Slowly, he swam towards her and lightly gripped her fingers as he stepped out of the water. She didn’t speak as she pressed against him flush, lifting on her tip toes to kiss him. He deepened the kiss, lifting a hand to her hair which had come out of its braid, tangling in the curls. Her fingers slowly glided down his chest, dancing across the hard muscles of his abdomen. She met his gaze. 

    “I’m gonna do somethin that night that I haven’t done in a long time baby…” She spoke, kissing his jawline. 

    “What’s that?”His Japanese was throaty and low and those damn eyes of his were making her turn into a puddle of goo. Despite the slight nervousness, she kept going. Slowly, she knelt below him, pressing kisses here and there on her way down, fingers now gripping the straps to his hakama. 

    His breath grew still and he felt his body grew warm with sweat, his blood pounding right beneath her. She looked up at him, cheeks deep red. His fingers part her lips. 

    “I’ve wanted to do this for a long time but… I’ve always backed out in fear. What would you think of me. Would I look the same as every other girl whose been here in this position… on their knees ready to bring you to heaven?”  Pressing her face against him, her arms came to hug his hips. 

    “But…right here…right now I’ma do it…cause…cause I want to. You deserve it baby.” He felt his knees grow weak but surrendered to her touch. He felt like he was floating, dreaming. Fingers slowly untied the straps to his hakama. They slackened and finally they fell to the ground. She moaned softly at the sight of him, the ache between her legs instantly drenching and her hands itched to touch him. 

    Lifting fingers, she gently reached for him and held him for a moment, biting her lips. Before he could breathe, she teased him with her tongue. Hair lost in between his fingers, he gently grabbed a handful. A groan ripped through him, causing the hair on her skin to prickle. She took her time, licking at him almost playfully, kissing him gentle, always loving. His fingers tightened in her hair and his head fell back, the blush that had been his cheeks now in his neck.Without warning, her lips covered him slow and sweet knocking the wind out of him.

    “Fuck…”  She moaned softly lifting her eyes to meet his. 

    “Baby…” His words died off as he groaned, pulling his lip in between his teeth. He tried to stop himself but he couldn't resist the smooth glide of his hips, asking and wanting…needing. She took more of him, allowing herself to be lost in the moment. She dipped, moaning as he moved against her, fingers deep in her hair. She could feel him grow tense and flushed, wanting him to let it go. Breath panting, his hips came to a slow stop. She dipped one final time, her love vibrating through his veins. Breath heavy, he lifted her up and away from him and she let him. Lips crashed against hers and he pulled her up into his arms. Pressing her forehead against his, they disappeared into the grasses, littered with abundant flowers.

***

    Eyes slid down the expanse of her, from head to toe and still his breath had not come back. How quickly he had become trapped in the exquisitely captivating femininity of her. Those gorgeous brown eyes looked up at him, thighs opening, asking… begging him to feel, touch, taste. Cheeks flushed, lips parted, she wore the hunger for him well and it matched his. The delicate white juban had been parted with his fingers and her breathy inhales had him throbbing. Leaning down, his lips drifted across her collarbone. Fingers intertwined and he was determined to adorn her body with his love, no matter how long it took. Somehow, they’d gotten lost in the calm tranquil waters, the sunlight blazing down to bathe them. Down he breezed, taking a small little bud hidden by the fabric into his mouth. She arched her back with a moan, drawing him out into the depths.

    “Roto…” She breathed against him, lifting to envelop his hip. 

    “Yes little flower?” He replied, moving his hips against her nice and slow, a tease. 

    “I-I’ve d-decided somethin…”

    “What’s that?” Pushing up, she twisted her body, coming to get on top of him. 

    “Whatever you want me to be for you I’ll submit.” He groaned against her mouth. 

    “I’ll be your whore. I’ll be your slut.” She began to move her hips against his with every sentence. 

    “I’ll be your bitch. Whatever. I’ll be it.” He lifted hands to her hips, the look in his eyes made her breathless. He lifted up, bringing them to a halt. 

    “A whore doesn’t make me feel the way you do.” He ran a thumb across her lips, his gaze dark and intense. 

    “A slut doesn’t stimulate my mind, soul, spirit…body.” His lips glided upwards, her head falling back. 

    “A bitch doesn’t turn me on.” Leaving her hair, his fingers wafted down her back, pulling the juban away from her skin finally. Skin moist with sweat, droplets slid down the canvas of glistening mahogany skin. He licked them off of her skin, as many as he could. She moaned, fingers coming to seek solace in his hair. He took a bare breast in the palm of his hand, gently squeezing before taking her nipple into his mouth again. She began to move again and he followed her, creating delicate friction between them. She threw her head back and bit her lip as he undulated against her.  Lips crashed against hers, the kiss hungry and deep. Lifting her arms, she wrapped them around his neck as he forced her underneath him. Time stood still for a while, his breath slowing against her mouth. 

    She felt like a volcano had erupted inside of her and it consumed her with its heat, forcing her eyes open. He held her gaze as he pulled away, within her touch’s reach. Gingerly, he came towards her, reaching to lift her ankle. Tiny butterfly kisses sprinkled across her lower leg and she slid fingers down his heated abdomen. He continued his ascent, drawing nearer to the dewy galaxy that seemed to twirl, commanding his love. 

    “Roto…” He said not a word, instead letting his mouth speak louder. Sensation made her dizzy and she couldn’t control the wail that pierced the atmosphere. He took his time, voraciously devouring her until she was a needy little mess, fingers buried in his hair. Lapping the sweet nectar that flowed from her, he lifted breath falling on her chin. 

    “Allow me to exist inside you… in a new way.” She moaned softly, drowning in his gaze. His cheeks and neck flushed with his arousal but his eyes…she’d never seen the level of intensity before in them as she did now. Desire overflowed from them. She couldn’t look at him and turned them away, heart beating wildly against her chest.

    “A new way?”

    “I want to plant seeds in the garden of your soul.” She moaned, taking in his implication. He teased her dangerously close and yet he didn’t.

    “Hiroto…”

    “If you’ll let me. Only if you’ll let me.” He brought her gaze back to him and gently kissed the corner of her mouth. She gyrated against him, giving him the answer he needed. 

    “Water and nurture me until little flowers grow from me.” Gripping her hip, he came into her nice and gentle, taking her breath. 

*** 

    Ecstasy. Pure and unadulterated. It caused butterflies to surround the two bodies as they moved against one another, desperate to merge, to become one. Her fingers clawed the dirt and she moved her hips along Orion’s belt, trying to find the Milky Way. He held her hips still as he came into her, making her cry out. Hiroto.Fingers came to entrap her hair. Hiroto.The large curly mass drifted away from her neck like a black sun.Hiroto. Those same fingers owned everything they touched, drifting across her breasts. 

    "Hi-Hi-Hiro-Rotoo..." Their bodies seemed to transport them up, up into the clouds, past the stars. There, they could touch nebulas and float upon Andromeda. Slowing, he pressed his forehead against hers and she swore time stopped. In the midday summer sun, droplets of sweat had formed and the heat was almost unbearable. But the breeze from the water cooled their burning flesh. Opening her eyes, she met amber orbs. 

    “I love you.” Spoken against her lips, he thrust into her once, twice, deliciously deep. His mouth swallowed her moans, sending one of his own deep into her. 

    “I love you…you too.” Those lips of his bruised and rosy claimed hers and began the space travel once again. Gentle at first, tender and soft. His breath panted against her, hair wetly pressing against his forehead. Their fingers tangled and he brought them up above her head, tightly holding on to them. He began to plunge, the momentum in his hips driving her right into the center of the sun. Her voice carried across the waters and up into the sky. She wanted more, wanted him… right there…like that. 

    The feeling inside him was strong, white hot and dangerously close to bursting apart. She begged for release, her face contorted with agonizing rapture. How could he deny her? Pressing their hands deeper into the grass, he reached down and curled fingers around her jaw.

    “Come for me my little flower.” Her cry was melodious and her body obeyed the softly spoken request, pleasure possessing her. Groaning, he took her lips. It seemed to spread like a wild fire and he pumped into her a few more times before growing still, his release hitting him hard. She hummed against his lips and panted harshly, wrapping her arms around his neck. For the moment, time stood still and he gasped against her, soul still coming down to body. They shifted until her back met the earth and he pressed his face against her breasts. She kissed his forehead, leaving tiny butterfly kisses across his jaw. They laid there in the lush quiet as the day carried on, those rainbow colored butterflies flittering oh so prettily around them. 


*** 

    She smoothed his hair back from his face, coming to kiss his cheek, jaw next and neck last. The clouds up above were pillowy and magnificently white and she sighed against him. The events of what just happened sent heat blossoming in her cheeks. Turning her eyes onto her husband, she pressed her nose against him. He defined a new meaning to love making; its definition simply didn’t exist in the human language. It was so special, so beautiful, so full of surrender. It was the first time… their first time ever… letting go. Completely. For real. The grasses swayed around them, electrifying them with a cool burst of wind. Taking a deep breath, she bit her lip, heart full of love. He slowly lifted up, blush in his cheeks. She slipped arms around his neck as he shimmed up her body and nuzzled her hairline. Welcoming his kiss, she drifted back into those clouds. With a sigh, he began to pull away from her as she slowly spread her legs, catching his gaze. Arousal made him flushed and warm and he feasted on her fingers as they dipped inside her. She arched her back, moaning as a wave of pleasure shot to her toes. Come to me baby. Take me again baby.

    Groaning, he pulled her closer by her anklecurling fingers around her wrist. As if he had heard her thoughts, he brought those fingers of hers to his mouth, licking them with a soft groan. Biting her lips, she watched as he took them into his mouth, lost in the moment. Fingers came to gently lift her up, holding her against him. The sticky humid sun and lazy breeze carried on as they once again entered into their little world. 

    

*** 



    So many emotions coursed through him and he couldn’t place just one… just yet. He felt every bit of vulnerable and open and it felt good to share that with her. By the time they returned, their love would be sprinkled all over, worked deep into the ground of this property. It would symbolize love…of the past present and future. He felt her legs rise up his waist, a sigh exhaling from her lips as the blood she awakened drifted down to the most prominent part of him. Leaning down, he kissed sticky skin. He’d developed an almost animalistic desire for her and he didn’t think it’d go away any time soon. Drifting eyes up across her, he throbbed against her. Deep in the sleep of their afternoon nap, she pressed against him comfortably, limbs lazy, bottom unconsciously poked out. Smiling to himself, he kissed her shoulder and forced himself to pull away from her. He wanted to make love to her until he couldn’t move and he intended to do just that. 

    Here, they were covered with privacy, more than satisfactory distance from the familial activities going on. Here, he could be him, unfiltered and unapologetically. Sitting up, he leaned his head back, soaking up the sun. He’d never surrendered before…never surrendered to a woman before. Like that. And now, now he had, most beautifully, almost artistically and completely. He was just like the flowers that surrounded him now…blossoming so beautifully under love and care. In their secret garden, he never wanted to come out again. He wanted to stay hidden by the grass, flowers and trees, letting his body be his voice. Pushing up off of his legs, he went to a small basket that he’d requested be brought out. She’d be hungry by the time she woke up and he wanted this day to continue to be perfect. 


    *** 

    Her dreams were sweet and they were full of him. Turning, she opened her eyes and set her sights on the swirling flowers, arranged in every color as they swayed with the breeze. Smiling to herself, she slowly lifted up. A needy throb settled there and she bit her lips, eyes searching the grasses. The smell of food started her belly up like an engine and she found him kneeling by a large willow tree. There. Getting up, she gingerly slipped arms around herself. It was kinda unnerving to be so naked but he seemed quite comfortable, confident that they could exist like this. Breeze drifting across her skin, she came closer and closer until she pressed her face against his strong broad back.

    “Found you…” She spoke softly, glancing up at him. The look of surprise turned tender. 

    “Found me.” Blushing, she slowly let him go, hands coming to his waist. 

    “What’s all this baby?” 

    “Ah…well I knew we’d be hungry so I arranged this for us.” A blanket had been laid out, pillows comfortably creating a cosy little picture. Small plates filled with food made her stomach growl. Blushing, she looked down at it. Laughing richly, he turned, taking her face in his hands. 

    “Let’s eat babe.” Taking her hand, he pulled her down to sit. She eyed him as he began to eat. 

    “Roto?”

    “Mm?”

    “Where our clothes at?” He pointed upwards and found their yukata and his hakama hanging from a branch, directly in the sun. 

    “Oh.”

    “They’ll be dry in a little while.”

    “Mm.” Licking her lips, she reached for a plate and began to eat, the flavors mixing deliciously. 

    “Mm… this good.” Eyes smiling, he winked, mouth full. 

    “Don’t tell me you made this.”    

    “Mmhm.”  Such beautiful eyes he had, they stared into the very soul. 

    “I…I don’t know what to say…”

    “Don't say anything. Bask in the glow I gave you and eat as much as you want." She sucked her teeth and hit him on the chest, rolling her eyes. 

    “You have got to be kidding me. Bask in the glow you gave me huh?” She threw a pillow at him. 

    “You get on my nerves." She pursed her lips, her cheeks hot. He laughed before tossing the pillow back at her. 

    “Well.”

    “Ain’t no well.”

    “You are glowing… pretty damn bright.” 

    “Yeah and what about you?”

    “I want to electrify you until you shine brighter than the sun.” Fingers curled up under her chin and he brought her lips to his. 

    “…And I will. Much much later.”  She melted against him and soon he pulled away, a small smirk on his face. 

    “Jerk.” She said with a grin as he began to eat again, taking in the way sweat glided down his chest. Eat Rae. He ain’t goin nowhere. Taking her plate up again, she began to indulge in the food he’d prepared, the love he felt translated so nicely with the wine he’d poured. It was easy to forget everything and she was gonna immerse herself in everything, all so tangible and within reach. For just a little bit, she would imagine that they were the only two in the world, lost in paradise. 

*** 




    He stood over the large tub, filling it with water crystal clear. Licking her lips, she blushed and felt butterflies in her stomach as he reached for her hand. Helping her into the tub, he sighed as the water covered them. 

    
    “What a day…” He spoke, head leaned back against the rim of the large wooden tub. 

    “Yeah, it’s been special.” He sighed and welcomed the press of her lips against his forehead. He pulled her against him a hug and she smiled against him. 

    “You spoil me too damn much.” The fingers that were on her back stroked her skin and soon slid up to tease her strands. 

    “It’s my job.”

    “Yeah but…”

    “I told you I would spoil you for the rest of your life. I meant that baby.” He murmured, leaning up to kiss her chin. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she let his lips pull her out of orbit. She began to flit above him ever so slowly, commanding his very breath. Slow and sweet she teased taking in the groan that rumbled against her lips.

    “I wanna stay here…with you…forever.” Her hands slid up into his hair. 

    “Me too baby…” He whispered against her lips…coming to grip her underneath the water. She kissed him again just the way she felt, passionately, deeply, lovingly…words deeply embedded on her tongue. He drew them up out of the water, water rippling beneath them. Stepping out with ease, he didn’t stop moving until they met the plush futons. 

*** 

    In the garden, they didn’t need words. They didn’t need fear. Here they were allowed to exist as organic beings, naked beings, love written with each breath and sigh upon the stars. They could leave it all behind and be free. 

*** 

    Sweat prickled her skin but she felt… no…she needed to keep going. The drinking had grown with fervor and she had developed an insatiable thirst. Hands lit her back up with trails of fiery love and her nails left his chest as she arched her back, fingers instead gripping his legs. He cursed, the string of Japanese mixed with English writing itself over her body as she moved above him, the cries lighting up the night sky with a light of their own. His touch drifted across her breasts and down, down her stomach until it settled on her hips, bringing them closer. She let his hands stop her as he lifted, panting against her collarbone. No words were needed. They bodies said everything. Fingers crushed the strands of her hair in between them and he lifted those dark feverish gaze upward and she immediately grew weak. His breath came closer and then his lips devoured hers. Turning, he gently let her back meet the lush futon. Lifting her legs, he held them at the knees and slowly pulled out, causing her to whine. Leaning down he kissed her, lips burning her. 

    Coming to lay beside her, he tangled one of those long legs in between hers. Holding her close, he pressed tiny little kisses down the bridge of her nose. Lifting her fingers, she caressed his jawline as he continued his journey, kissing her hairline and down to her cheeks. She opened her eyes and looked up into his. Euphoric tendrils snaked through her body like veins as he slowly came back into her. Loudly moaning against him, she fisted his moist silky hair.  He groaned into her mouth, stroking lazy and deep, making her toes curl. She begged him with her breath…her body trembled against his, needing release. 

*** 

    The body of a man is a powerful thing, much like his hands. It has the ability to breathe life into you or beat every inch of it out of you. Warm. Heavy. Powerful. He takes me up far beyond the earth, the muscles that lie beneath his smooth skin hard and tight. They too want what I want. He makes me feel safe but small, his obvious stature apparent. But I love it. I love that he can make me feel small and big at the same time. I’ve waited my entire life to experience a love like this and I fear I’ll never recover, never get enough of it for as long as I breathe. 

***

    

    Fingers gripped her thigh, having brought it up over his hips. Now, now he no longer played in the stream. No, now he dived with intent…with purpose. Fulfilled with each breathy moan and sob that came from her. Reaching up, those large vessels of adornment covered her breasts and he finally let the sound that had been building inside him travel across the airways. The trees seemed to sway in tune with the rhythm of their writing hips, the soil that dwelled beneath them wanting so desperately to be watered. Turning, he lifted her leg to hang over his shoulder, pressing flush against her. Hair waved across their pillows but it fisted in his hands with abundance. Pressing his body against hers, he brought her other leg up and balanced her hips with his biceps. Hands deep in her hair, he slowed a bit. This new position set her world upside down and she couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything but submit to the will of his hips. Nails dug into the skin of his back as he rocked against her.

    “Come for me baby…” She shattered into a million little pieces, rewarded with delicious sharp thrusts. 

    “That’s it. Good girl…” He breathed against her, holding her tight. Pleasure possessed him too and she pulled him into the sun with a groan. They grew still, surrendering to release. He shuddered against her and let her go, reaching up to entangle their fingers. 


*** 

    We float up above, he and I. Lost in the throes of love, of sweat, passion and ecstasy, our spirits leave our physical forms and enter into another world. Our garden. Paradise, the very  earth screams his name. My lips are so thirsty and I ache for more of the life sustaining water that flows from him in overabundance. It’s the only thing I need. And he too hungers for the liquid gold, such sweet honey that pours from in between my thighs like shimmers of starlight. Here is home and I never want him to leave. I want him to stay inside of me always and forever. In such delightful transcendence. 


*** 

    “Where the hell have you two been?”  The silence from Hiroto wasn’t abnormal but the growing blush that was spreading through his cheeks told a story, one he wanted to hear. Glancing at Rae, he found her completely flushed, the feminine blush making him smirk. Ah. So, that’s what they’d been doing. He cleared his throat after a chuckle or two, brining their gaze upward. 

    “Lucky bastard. Nobody but you would be allowed to do this.”

    “Do what?” Rae piped up, but her voice told it all. Soft, it was so much more breathy than it had been at the start of their gathering. 

    “Hiro.”

    “Tomo.” He replied monotonously, effortlessly reaching for his cup of tea. 

    “You’re going to make Jii-sama a very happy man.”

    “What are you talking about?”

    “You know what. Seems you’ve got in enough practice now.” Coughing on her tea, Rae grew red as he chuckled. 

    “Don’t make me hit you.” Though his reply was flat, there was a small boyish smirk on his lips and it too confirmed everything. 

    “Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it. You two are glowing like Christmas trees. My guess as to what you have been up to.”

    “It’s none of your business.” Grinning at his cousin, he lifted his hands in surrender. 

    “Right you are.” 

 

End Notes:

 


A/N: Whew. Okay y'all that took a lot out of me lol. I was bothered and every darn thing writing this lol. BEING HONEST. I went back and forth on if I wanted three intimacy scenes like I originally dreamt and decided to follow through with them. This is a spin on the Garden of Eden a bit only, it's Rae and Roto's Garden of Eden. I tried to make this as beautiful and R&R-esque as I could, poetic and erotic and spiritual all in one. I hope you can feel the rawness of it all. I think it is so beautiful and speaks volumes of the depth of love Rae and Roto feel for each other... the level of surrender and submission is meant to be...well...transcendent.


 


I think y'all know what's comin after this lol. This is a special treat for you guys for hanging in there with me through all these chapters. I hope you haven't fallen out of love with these two as I know it's been forever since I've updated consistently. For that, I ask apologies. A lot has gone on and I'm just finding my groove again. Love you guys! Let me know your thoughts on the matter. *side note* So... normally I kinda think the whole "daddy" kink thing is lowkey freaky but here... I think Iwase Hiroto 100% applies and I'm totally freaking okay with it lol. She ain't even have to call him that. He just OOZED it didn't he? WHEW. YES MA'AM. Pictures and gifs will be included. 


I will see you all soon! Love you and thank you! God bless! 


D&L <3 


 


 


Roto's family home in Kyoto: 



The little lake house: 



Their room in the main house: 



Room in the lake house: 



Picnic:



Other misc gifs: 









 


Here's what junihitoe is: 



 


LAST BUT NOT LEAST I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS: 


​​​​​​​

Floret by DarkandLovely

Ragged coughing seemed to echo in the small room and soon it filled with nurses. One of them pulled out her stethoscope and pressed it to her chest while others tried assessing her other ways. 

    “Iwase-san, are you feeling light headed or dizzy?”

    “Are you short of breath?”

    “Can you tolerate sitting up some to allow more air to enter your lungs?”  All of it… all of them proved to be irritating and she snarled up her lips to talk back but instead another series of coughs came forth, tearing at her insides. Pain flushed her face and she wheezed, ignoring the concerned expressions. Her eyes time and time again found the letter that was repeatedly put back up on her nightstand. No matter how many times she knocked it off. Bastard. Shutting her eyes, she tried to inhale deeply, pain causing her to ripple and quake. After reading a letter like that, she found she’d never forgive him.  And perhaps he wouldn’t ever forgive her too. 

 

*** 

To Hada Mizu, 

    There are so many things I could say about you. So many emotions come up when I think about you. It has taken me a long time to even process them all and right here and right now, I will fully express myself to you. Not as your so-called heir. Not as CEO of Shoutoii. Not even as an Iwase. Right now I’m writing to you as your son. Allow me to re-introduce myself to you as Hiroto. 

 

*** 

 

    It was around late November that it had been decided. A woman came rushing out of the tall crystal castle as the boy called it, apology written all over her face. 

    “I’m so sorry you two! I tried getting out of there but I had some things to finish up.” The boy blushed as her fingers came to tickle him underneath his chin. 

    “Are you boys hungry?” 

    “I’m always hungry.” The voice of her husband replied, a boyish grin on his face. She sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. 

    “I already know about you. Kyou-chan, are you hungry?” Kyouta nodded his head. 

    “Okay then let’s goooooo. It’s cold and y’all standin out here like it’s 70 degrees.” They began to walk towards the car and glancing up at the two of them, the boy’s expression finally changed and a small but visible smile was seen on his face. It was then that he decided that he wanted to finally be apart of them. Whatever them was. As they sat in front of burgers and fries, he watched the two of them intently, feeling laughter spring up as his Onii-sama stuck some fries up his nose. Rae-chan as she liked to be called doubled over in laughter, tears beading at the corners of her eyes. 

    “ROTO. YOU A STRAIGHT FOOL OH MY GAWD.” A laugh came from him before he had time to control it and the two adults turned to look at him. Surprise written over their expressions. 

    “Onii-sama…you look really funny with potatoes up your nose.” The man’s eyes seemed to twinkle with mischief and he stood up, coming behind him. 

    “I’m not your Onii-sama. Who is this person?” He smirked at the goofy tone of his voice. 

    “You look like him.”

    “Ah but I’m not. I’m the fry monster.” He giggled, spitting out his pop. 

    “Fry monster?”

    “Yes and you look really tasty. Maybe I’ll turn you into a kid sized fry!” He couldn’t contain the laugh that escaped him as he began to tickle him, leaning down to pick him up from the chair. 

    “O-ONII-SAMAA NOOO. I DON’T WANT TO BE TURNED INTO A KID FRY!” He briefly heard the tinkling laughter of Rae-chan before the deeply humored laughter from his Onii-sama rumbled against him. 

    “Okay I’ll have mercy on you this time.”  Putting him down, he took the fries out of his nose and grinned as he caught his breath on their couch. 

    “Why don’t you go and get ready for bed hm? We’ve got a busy day tomorrow.” He sat up and pouted. 

    “I don’t want to go back to Ayako. I want to stay here with you.” Rae got up and hugged him from behind. 

    “Kyou-chan…”

    “I mean it…I wanna stay with you and Onii-sama.”

    “Do you not like it at Ayako?” The boy shook his head. 

    “It is empty without you. All the other kids have families. I want a family too.” Rae looked up at his Onii-sama and for a while, he listened to her heartbeat thrum against his ear. 

    “We’ll talk about it in the morning okay?” Rae pulled away from him and let him get up. 

    “Promise?” Onii-sama smiled deeply and gave a gentle nod. 

    “Mm. For now, I think we should all head to bed.”

    “Okay..” Familiar with their home, he left them in search of the the bathroom, running small fingers through his hair. He had grown to be selfish and for the moment, he didn’t care. He wanted a mom and dad too. He wanted a room to call his own. He wanted love and laughter too. And he wanted it all with the two of them. But, what if they didn’t want him? Sighing, the boy closed the door behind him and sat on the floor, pressing his face against his knees. 

 

***

    

    From the time I was little, I wanted to be everything you wanted me to be. I wanted to make you happy. Make you proud. But now I know the truth. You never loved me the way I loved you. You only wanted to use and exploit me. An innocent child. Your child. 

 

*** 

 

    “Mr. Iwase?” Looking up, there stood one of his secretaries. 

    “Yes?”

    “Kyouta is waiting for you in your library.”

    “Ah, thank you.” He got up and cleared his throat. Soon, coming into the expansive room, he found the boy sitting there, once nervous and fidgety. Now, he was comfortable, gripping his fingers together as he waited. 

    “Kyou,” He looked up, expression bright. 

    “Onii-sama!” A hand lifted and gently plopped down on the boy’s head. 

    “You know you can call me Otou-san now.” He mused, an amused grin on his face.     “Ah…mm.” Pink was starting to enter the cheeks of the young boy and he smiled, coming to sit beside him. 

    “O-Ot-tou-san…”  He smiled again, saying nothing, just observing. Kyouta took a shaky breath and said it again quietly under his breath as if trying it out to see if he liked it.

    “I know everything is so new right now so there is no rush Kyou-kun. When you feel comfortable addressing me as such, you can.” Kyou said nothing more but allowed him to put his hand on top of his head again and pulled him until his head laid on his arm. 

    “Are you hungry?” The boy nodded, feeling his stomach growl. 

    “I’m sure there’s something yummy waiting for us at home ne?” 

    “Mm.” His mouth began to water. Rae-chan’s cooking was really good and he had a few favorites over the time he’d been acquainted with them. 

    “Okay then. Let me close up and we can go.” Watching his Onii-sama stand and begin to pack up everything, he licked his lips before balling them up. Onii-sama…Otou-san…It was all new indeed. 

    “Come.” Onii-sama said with a small smile, waiting for him to stand. Together they exited through the glass doors and into his car. The ride was quiet, the gentle tap of Onii-sama’s fingers to the playing music against the stirring wheel making him smile some. The sight of their home filled his chest with an indescribable emotion and once he got his shoes kicked off in the foyer, he felt giddy.

    “We’re home!” He called out excitedly, feeling a grin come to his face. It felt good to say that. 

    “Okaeri!” They heard Rae shout from the kitchen. 

    “Why don’t you go get your pajamas on.. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.” Onii-sama said with a grin. 

    “Mm.” Loosening his tie, he came into the kitchen to see his lovely little wife placing a big pot with what looked like sukiyaki on a small burner in the middle of the table. 

    “Smells delicious.” He said quietly, lifting hands to caress her shoulders. Blushing some, she smiled. 

    “Thank you.” Softly pressing a kiss to her lips, he lifted fingers to push his hair back from his forehead and loosened his tie. 

    “How was work?” She asked, replacing his hands with hers as she undid the knot around his neck. 

    “I’ve gone over the plans for the chapter in Russia so many times now I can’t see straight.” She chuckled, now unbuttoning a button or two of his shirt. 

    “Well now you can take a nice break for a little while. Gon get comfy so we can eat.” Kissing her again, he smirked against her lips. 

    “Yes ma’am.”

 

*** 

 

    Through all the hell you’ve put me through and the myriad of emotions you’ve sent me through….I think now I’ve come to the place where now I have true courage. Courage to stand up to you once and for all.     

 

 

*** 

    “Otousan,” Eyes lifted as a woman came into the room, fingers fidgeting. 

    “Yes?”

    There’s… there’s someone I would like you to meet.” Lips drew into a smile and he lifted his hands from the garden below him, flowers having been spritzed with water. 

    “You’ve brought me a visitor?” The woman gripped her fingers tighter. 

    “Yes…” Shou smiled deeper, dimples appearing in the same place much like his son. 

    “Well, let me meet them.” Turning towards the empty hallway, she spoke softly, 

    “You can come out now.” A young boy suddenly came from around the corner, face nervous. He came to press against her, fingers reaching to pull her nervous ones apart. 

    “Otousan…I’d…I’d like you to meet Iwase Kyouta. Our son.” 

 

*** 

    I won’t drag this on any more than needed. As many times as I’ve envisioned standing above you while you’ve slept and slitting your throat, I’ve simply grown tired of the energy it takes to bring up any more thoughts of the sort. As hard as I’ve tried to be your perfect son, I think now it’s important for me to close that chapter. It will not happen. Not the way you want. My attentions now are being focused somewhere else. And of course, what kind of first born would I not be to bring you along for the ride? After all, it is in part thanks to you that I am the man I am today. 

 

*** 

    “Rae?” 

    “Yeah?”

    “You writing?”

    “Yep.”

    “I’m super happy that you finally took Hiroto’s advice and started an autobiography. Your story needs to be told.” She smiled up at her sister who grinned behind her. 

    “Yeah. The man was insistent.” 

    “I can’t wait to read it when you’re done.” Amee winked, playfully squeezing her shoulder. Smiling, she turned back to the computer screen. It hadn’t been hard to start. After all, she had never realized that all along she had been writing her story this entire time. All it needed was to be compiled and put together. 

*** 

    I’ve devoted 31 years of my life to you. And in that time, I’ve wondered what the true definition of love was. What being a real man was. I’ve wondered if I was doing it right. If I could prove worthy to finally gain the love of both mother, father, family and wife. But, it doesn’t matter anymore. Rae’s love is all I need. She is all I need. 

 

*** 

 

    The waves lapped on the shore of the beach, the black sand mystifying and gorgeous. The wind blew her hair and it whipped around her intensely. They had flown to the beautiful island of Dominica and in less than 24 hours, she’d fallen deeply in love. Smiling to herself, she turned eyes to her big goof ball, leaning back against the small outdoor bar, vision on the waves. 

    “Rae!” Turning, she found Tobu, Amee and Tre approaching them and she waved them over with a smile. 

    “Hey y’all!” Amee gave her a tight hug. 

    “You look stunning Ebbie!” Blushing, she tightened her grip on her hands. 

    “Thanks babe. You too.”

    “Sooo…..are you excited?”     

    “Yeah…I can’t believe that I actually wrote it.”

    “I’m so glad you went for it and stuck with it!” Glancing at Roto, she bit her lip. 

    “I definitely had help.”

    “Mmhm don’t we know.” Cutting eyes at her sister, she sucked her teeth. 

    “What’s that supposed to mean?”

    “Look, when y’all gon bust out the babies?” Tre asked, smirk on his face. 

    “Tremaine!” 

    “Aye look…my mans got to be puttin that shit down and Amee over here naggin me about bein an auntie so when the kids comin?” 

    “We’re working on it.” Roto’s voice was humored as he came to join them, slipping hands around her waist. Amee drifted eyes between them. 

    “I’m sure you are.”

    “Amee shut up.”

    “Look, you ain’t gotsta act all shy and stuff. You getting sublimely dicked down and ain’t a damn thing wrong with it.” 

    “Oh my God… I’m done with this conversation.” 

    “She’s not lying you know.” Roto said with a Cheshire grin, wiggling his eyebrows.  

    “Shut up you.” She said with a grin of her own, hitting him on the chest. Rich laughter drifted up from his stomach and she pouted as he draped himself around her, body relaxed and loose. 

    “You’re so cute baby…”

    “Mmhm cute my ass…”

    “Rae! Hiro-kun!” Turning, they found Hana headed their way. 

    “Hana-chan!” The two women ran to each other and engulfed each other in a big hug. 

    “I’m so happy to see you my sweet sister.” Hana said with a smile against her temple. 

    “Me too love. So glad you’re here. Now we can officially get started.” Pulling away, she pulled her in the direction of the small group. 

    “Hana you remember my sister Amee and my brother Tre right?” She blushed and extended her hand towards him. 

    “I remember you very well Tre.”

    “Same here beautiful.” 

    “Aw shit. Lookee here lookee here. What’s gon go down tonight on this tropical island?”

    “Amee keep talkin and you gon find you some-what was it you so eloquently said- sublime dicking down? Yeah somma dat.”

    “I sure as hell hope so! Shiet!” 

    “So it sounds like you all are ready to party.” Tobu said with a handsome grin, hands in his pockets. 

    “Hell yeah, turn up time. Rae don got her book picked up by a big time publisher and shit. We gotta drink to this!” 

    “Don’t get Hana started! She’s the biggest drinker out of us all!” Roto joked, winking playfully at her. 

    “I can’t help it if you guys are lightweights. What can I say? I like to drink.”

    “Ain’t nothin wrong with that sweet thing.” Tre rasped, a roguish grin on his face. 

    “Enough chit chat! I’m ready to get shit faced!” Amee declared obnoxiously, tugging a protesting Rae towards the bar. 

*** 

 

 

    I no longer ask you for anything. Any acceptance. Any favor. Any grace. Any attention or any recognition. All I’ve wanted was to experience my own happiness, one that hadn’t been ripped from me. And my desires have come true.

 

*** 

    “Rae…” 

    “Are you sure?” Her throat was tight and her palms were moist with sweat as the three women stood in the oversized bathroom. Her sense of smell had been acting up something serious as of late and this morning she’d thrown up at least three or four times BEFORE breakfast. 

    “I don’t know… I don’t know guys…”

    “When was your last period?”

    “It’s…it’s late. Hella late.” At that revelation, Hana squealed and hugged her. 

    “Hime…oh sweet hime…” 

    “Do you want this? I mean… right now you’ve got Kyouta and Hiroto. You really ready for another big journey like this?” Six pairs of eyes watched in anticipation as the long narrow stick sat cozily on the counter top. 

    “I do A….I want this so bad…so bad…” She whispered, tears in her shaky voice. Amee took her hand and Hana took her other hand, damning the sweat on her skin. Squeezing tight, they held their breath as slowly a result began to form. Two pink lines showed up and a loud screech travelled through the bathroom as the women all began to cry and hug each other. 

    “Aye, y’all aiight? Y’all been in there forever. What’s goin on?” Tre’s voice boomed on the other side of the door. 

    “We alright Tre. Just… give us a minute aiight?” Amee shouted back, tears falling down her cheeks. 

    “Congratulations hime.” Hana whispered against her, bringing a series of body wracking sobs from the woman she held. 

    “Oh God… Oh God…..I’m…I’m really….”

    “You’re gonna be a mommy Rae. You’re going to be a damn good mommy.” Amee cried, pressing loving kisses to her temple. 

    “Come on now. We gotta find a way to tell Hiro-kun.” Hana said, a large watery smile on her face as she pulled away. 

    “Mmkay.” 

 

*** 

 

    I offer one last thing to you Hada Mizu. An opportunity. A simple one. I give only two options. One is to undo every wrong you’ve committed against my family. Should your pride be too much for you to humble yourself and I know that it will be, I offer a solution. Seppuku. 

 

*** 

 

    “I propose a toast.”

    “To?”

    “To Rae’s book deal. I’m so freaking proud of you.” 

    “Thank you Tobukins.” He winked at her and took a sip of bubbly. 

    “Andddd what’s next?” Amee said, shoving her elbow into Rae’s side. 

    “Ow.”

    “Do. It. Stop. Being. A. Punk.” She mouthed silently, laughing awkwardly at the confused stares of Tre and Hiroto. Tobu however just sat there with a knowing grin on his face and humored eyes. She took a shaky breath and stood up. You got this Rae. Just tell the man. 

    “Roto, there’s somethin else we’re celebratin tonight.” 

    “What’s that sweetheart?” Feeling her cheeks blush, she slowly approached him and welcomed his hands that slid around her hips. 

    “Somethin that’s gonna make you hella happy.” He knit his eyebrows together. She didn’t say anything at first, pressing kisses to his forehead and down to his nose. At the sight, Hana began to giggle like a little girl, a sight that would have been unnerving if not for the moment at hand.    

    “Rae…what is it? What’s going on?” Smiling, she couldn’t control the tears that began to well up in her eyes. Biting her lip, she took hold of one of his hands on her hip and moved it upwards, laying it on her belly. 

    “Hiroto…you’re…you’re gonna be a daddy.” For a moment, he was dumbfounded, mouth dropped open and eyes wide. 

    “Say something homie.” Tre chuckled, slapping him on the back. That knocked some life back into him and he stood, bringing her closer. 

    “You’re…pregnant?” 

    “Yeah…I’m pregnant…”

    “OH MY GOD….RAE…” He exclaimed in a loud excited shout and lifted her up into his arms, twirling her around until she in mid laugh begged him to stop. 

    “Oh my God baby…oh baby…” He took her face in between his palms tenderly and pressed his forehead against hers. 

    “I’m…so happy. So fucking happy…” She giggled as he pressed kisses all over her face, setting a big loving one right on the lips. 

    “I love you…I love you so much.”

    “Love you too Roto….” She said in between tears, lifting to wipe them from her cheeks. 

    “I say we toast to that.” Tobu finally spoke up, shit eating grin growing deeper by the second. 

    “Screw that. I’m gettin drunk to that.” Amee blurted out with a teary laugh, lifting her glass. Reaching for their glasses, hers with water, his sparkling champagne, the couple softly allowed their glasses to clink and took a sip. 

*** 

    It’s your choice. How you choose to live your life from here on out is up to you. I wash my hands officially clean of you with this letter.    It does pain me in some way…to admit that they will never know you. It could have been different had only you chose wisely. And now you will live with the consequence of your choice. May your spirit eventually find rest and peace Mother. 

 

Hiroto

P.S- You’re a grandmother.      

*** 

 

    At the bottom of the letter were a set of pictures attached, pictures that she looked at until she cried. The outline of a baby. Her son was the cruelest after all. Just... just like his father.

End Notes:

 

A/N: HELLO MY BEAUTIES! It is with great pride and thankfulness that I share this chapter with you! If it's too much too fast I apologize for that. I hope it's not. But the way this chapter was set up in my brain, it literally was like a movie and happened still by still...scene by scene. I have to say a couple things. One...I am proud of my baby Hiroto for having enough courage and bravery...MATURITY to know when to walk away from Eri and her schemes. With our lovely lady revealing her pregnancy (Y'all I literally teared up writing that), Roto is like I've kept my promise like I said I would. Now, I'm done with you. *washes hands* SUCH A POWER MOVE BRUH LOL. SO PROUD OF MY BABY.

Secondly....how exciting is it that Rae's pregnant? ALL THAT LOVE MAKIN GOT BABY MAKIN IN MOTION FA SHO LOL. THEY PROBABLY WOULDA MADE FOUR OF EM THAT DAY IF IT WAS POSSIBLE WHEW LAWD LOL. *covers face with my hand and cracks up* Family.. we've got two chapters left. TWO. Can you believe it?! 

I've worried that Transcendence has dragged on too long. I've worried that you, my readers, have gotten bored and tired. I've worried that you all would not find Hiroto and Rae interesting anymore. But you know what, with all of these worries I've had, I'm PROUD to say that at the end of the day... if no one else is happy with the length of it... I AM. I'm happy with this masterpiece and I pray you've enjoyed the ride this far! 

I've also FINALLY created a trailer on my youtube for Transcendence! Please head over and check it out! Don't be shy! Leave a comment too y'all! 

I'll be seein y'all very soon! hehe MUCH LOVE! 

D&L

P.S- Photobucket is being a butt as per usual so when it's back up and running, I'll upload my chapter banner LOL

 

TRANSCENDENCE TRAILER: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InBw3-HFERI

 

Shin Sei Katsu by DarkandLovely
Author's Notes:


 

    “Baby?” 

    “In here bae.” She heard him get up, feet sliding onto the floor. A slight yawn approached her and arms enclosed around her. 

    “How’s it goin?”  

    “Welp, just getting all my junk into these boxes.” He smiled against her, his chin resting on the top of her head.

    “We’re really doin this…” 

    “Mm…”

    “Kinda feels unreal.”

    “Mm…” She sighed and entangled their fingers. 

    “You didn’t have to get up babe. Why not sleep a bit longer?” He shook his head and pressed his face against her neck. 

    “Mm…I wanted to…” Biting her lip, she closed her eyes and leaned back against him. Alas a new journey was underway. Their apartment was now too small for their growing family. She had spent the early morning packing up her life little by little and piece by piece. Each step of the way, it had been bittersweet. Blame the hormones but she’d cried here and there putting her things in boxes. She wasn’t sure if it was purely out of sadness or uncertainty. Maybe it was all out of pure excitement. The television droned on in the background as Roto pressed a kiss to her neck and came around to sit besides her, ready to help her. 

 

*** 

    “I have reports that claim to have seen the Royal Couple of Japan the ‘Prince’ of Japan as he’s fondly called Hiroto Iwase and his beautiful wife Ebere Iwase out and about in Manhattan last month. Reports from a credible source says that they shared kisses and very open PDA on their outing but what has folks talking was the suspected baby bump Ebere seemed to be sporting. If you’re like me, you’ve been patiently waiting for the two to start a family and it seems they have finally gotten on board. Sources tell us that they are declining any public interviews right now and have not confirmed or denied the rumors. Either way, the public is going wild over these photos. If Hiroto and his wife are indeed pregnant, I wish them all the congratulations.” 

*** 

 

    A chuckle from next to her brought her attention towards him. He looked real pleased and slightly humored. 

    “What’s your problem?” She asked, a purse beginning to form. 

    “It’s just funny to me. The media’s been waiting for this moment haven’t they?” 

    “Hell yeah they have. They’ve been bugging me about kids the minute we got married.” He grinned. 

    “I remember that interview.”

    “Mmhm. Thirsty bunch of folks I tell you.”

    “And now, they have what they want. They just don’t know it yet.”

    “Yeah and they ain’t gon know till I get good and ready to tell them.”

    “It’s all up to you babe. If they never know that’s fine too.” Wrapping herself up in his warmth, she sighed against his chest. 

    “Tell you what? I’ll finish this up hm? Why don’t you go take a break? Maybe a nap?” Her mind had been running all day and night it seemed, excitement not allowing her to rest. But, she’d allow it to be put on hold if only for a little while. 

    “Mmkay.” Standing, she lifted his face in her hands and kissed him nice and sweet like. Smiling, he lowered a hand to her growing belly. Blushing, she tucked some hair behind his ear and pulled away, heading towards the bedroom.

***

    “Otou-san?”

    “Mm.” Small feet shuffled out of shoes and a backpack was placed by the door. 

    “Careful. There’s boxes everywhere.”

    “Mm.” Smiling, he soon peered into the face of Kyouta, who was red cheeked as he met his eyes. 

    “Okaeri.” He said warmly, standing at the stove. 

    “T-Tadaima Otousan.” He slowly came towards him and hugged him. Ruffling his hair, he laughed at the boy’s still apparent shyness. 

    “How was school today? Did you make friends?” 

    “Mm.”

    “That’s okay Kyou-kun. You will. Don’t rush it hm?”

    “Mm. Where’s Okaasan?” He asked, glancing around. It had taken him the longest yet to call Rae ‘Mom’. But when it happened finally Rae had cried, heart overflowing with love. 

    “Resting.”

    “Ah. The baby?”     

    “Mmhm.” 

    “Ah.” The boy smiled and nodded in understanding. He had taken the news well and seemed excited to welcome another member of their new and growing family. 

    “Can I help you cook dinner?”

    “Of course you can. Wash your hands and get into something comfortable. We’ll surprise Okaasan with something yummy hm?” 

    “Okay!” Eager, Kyou rushed off towards his bedroom. Chuckling to himself, he felt his heart grow full as he felt a finger poke him in the back. 

    “Alright, roll up your sleeves. Start cutting up those leeks for me. Take your time and be careful.”

    “Haiiii.” 

 

***

    The months passed them by and with it so many amazing things continued to happen, things that she could only stand in awe of God for. As her belly grew, her book continued to sell and eventually became an international best seller. Shoutoii was a continued success. Ayako, Junsui and Hinansho were booming. So many people wanted to interview her and at first she didn’t want to but at the promise of Hiroto being there with her, she agreed. She knew that this would be more than just an interview for her book. It’d be an official pregnancy announcement. She paced in the front lobby, only to walk into Roto’s chest. 

    “Baby…breathe.” 

    “Roto…I’m so nervous….”

    “I know sweetheart.” Wrapping arms around her, he kissed the crown of her head. 

    “You are in control of this Rae. Whatever you don’t feel comfortable with, you can put an end to it. Okay?” Taking a nervous breath, she tried to calm down, dropping her hands to her stomach.

    “‘Kay….” 

    “Let’s go.” 

 

    *** 

 

    “So… this is it huh? We’re just gonna fucking give up like that?”

    “You know we don’t have a choice. You know him better than anybody.” Frustrated fingers brought a cigarette to lips. 

    “You’re so fucking pathetic. I see why he dumped you.”

    “And I see why you could only touch her in photos. She was entirely too much woman for you. Your pride wouldn’t allow you to submit when needed.” The man snort and blew out the smoke from the side of his mouth. 

    “So, what is this? What are we doing?”

    “I have no intention of ever getting into a serious relationship.”

    “So I’m basically a fuck toy then.”

    “As I am to you.”

    “Can’t give up that Iwase dick huh? Fell for my cousin’s and now you’ve travelled over to my bed for a try huh?”Lips usually painted red were bare, save a clear gloss, something unusual for her. 

    “I didn't hear you complaining last night. You seemed pretty…happy about our little arrangement.” The man grinned suddenly, dragging eyes down her body. 

    “I guess so.” 

    “Hm.”

    “What happened? Honestly. You were pursuing the little bitch and then all of a sudden you stopped. Why is that?”Nails tapped against the glass table top. 

    “I had no choice.” 

 

*** 

    He sat across from two faces, faces he’d never had time to become familiar with. But faces that would perhaps finalize the end of a long torturous journey. 

    “Thank you for meeting me here Mr. and Mrs. Kuribahara.” The older woman smiled politely and bowed her head. He was sure in her younger day she had been just as beautiful as her daughter…perhaps more. 

    “As you are aware, your daughter has been very unruly as of late.”

    “We apologize for her behavior. Since she’s left prison, she’s been a bit of a loose cannon.”

    “We can all agree that prison is what was deserved of her.” 

    “O-Of course Iwase-sama.” 

    “I’ll get right to the point of why I’ve called you two here. You need to control her before things get out of hand.” Her mother paled and her father couldn’t look him in the eyes, instead choosing to stare at the table. 

    “I-I beg your pardon?” He leaned forward on the table. 

    “She’s been interjecting herself in matters that don’t concern her. Wandering too far can lead to trouble.”

    “Are…are you threatening us?” Finally a reaction from the slump that called himself her father. His face had grown red and bulbous, his lips thin and white. 

    “It’s not a threat. It’s a warning.”

    “How dare you, arrogant Iwase bastard!”

    “Kosuke!” Her mother exclaimed, lifting a hand to grip his arm. He though only sighed, a bland bored look on his face. 

    “I have questioned you two as parents in the past, wondering how you could sell your daughter for wealth. Perhaps I am too much of the new generation, perhaps it is not my place. In the world in which we live, things such as selling bodies is but a typical thing. It’s a generational initiation, a birthright.” The two looked uncomfortable as he continued, 

    “Emi has been allowed to stalk, harass and attempt murder since we were teenagers. You’ve allowed her to roam free, hiding behind your money and your prestige. Even now with her showing up to the very place still supplying your funds, you remain silent and do nothing. Accepting money from my family is long over and the police can no longer be bought to save her.”

    “The child is sick Iwase-sama. She’s ill and there is nothing we can do to save her. If she does not want to be saved, what can we do for her?” Her mother asked, fingers tightly glued together. He sat up and relaxed his fingers, flexing them. 

    “These things are of no concern to me. What you do with your daughter is up to you. Put a leash on her. If you do not, I will take back every cent you’ve borrowed from my family. By force if needed.”

    “You can’t do that! These agreements were put in place before you were ever a thought or apart of your father’s seed!” He laughed briefly, the action making the two grow still. 

    “That may be true Mr. Kuribahara. But as I am the sole owner of the Iwase estates, I can do whatever I damn well please. I don’t need your permission.” Kosuke Kuribahara slammed his hand on the table as he stood up. 

    “Don’t forget we’ve loaned your family money too, money that you gladly took as payment for screwing our daughter!” 

    “Kosuke! Stop it!” 

    “Those damned Iwases are the biggest whores to run amuck in Japan! Before him, it was his bastard father Shou. It’s a wonder he hasn’t screwed the entire female population!” He inhaled deeply to calm himself. They wanted to upset him and he would not give them that satisfaction. 

    “Say what you like but it doesn’t matter.” Reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose, his bored expression resumed.  

    “I am extending this one and only opportunity to you. Keep your daughter on her leash away from me and my wife. Should you not, every penny, dime and nickel we’ve loaned you will be taken away and all agreements rescinded. Is that clear?” By this point, her father was bubbling with rage but he kept his tongue silent. Her mother started to cry, her hands shaking. 

    “We can’t afford this Kosuke! Not now… not after all these years…” He said nothing, just stared holes into him. 

    “I trust I will hear your final decision in a few days. Make your choice and make it well. Your livelihood and where it stands is up to you. You know where to find me.” Getting up, he slid hands into his pockets and left them behind, the sound of her mother wailing growing more and more distant. 

 

*** 

    “Ah.”

    “Tell me… are the rumors true?”

    “What rumors?”

    “Rumors that you raped underage girls who slept with Hiroto?” 

    “If it is?” The woman laughed humorlessly, reaching into his pocket to pluck a cigarette out and put it in-between her lips. 

    “God… we’re both nut cases.”

    “But that makes the sex so much better doesn’t it?” Looking up into his eyes, she smirked some. Indeed. After all, she supposed she should count it as repayment. The money that the Iwase family had borrowed had been put towards completely erasing every shred of evidence surrounding his cases. Providing hush money to the police officers, the girls involved, the judges to absolve him of any and every charge he had gained. The money the old crone had borrowed from her parents had in fact silenced whispering mouths and eyes. For she would not have anything or anybody stain the Iwase name. Inhaling the nicotine deeply, she slowly exhaled. 

    “I didn’t know you smoked.”

    “Surprise.” The twisted fate was that at the end of the day, the money she borrowed was technically Iwase to begin with so she was receiving what was only hers… only theirs. And now with that bastard having threatened to take every penny and cent they had, gained all by way of association with them… she had to. Had to stay away. Had to give up. Had to hold on to whatever shred of wealth she could. 

    “You see their interview the other day? He knocked her up.” She didn’t reply, only shrugged and took a nice long drag on the cigarette. Deep inside though, the tendrils of anger stroked her belly. She’d… she’d have to live with it. Have to live this fucked up life yet another day when all she wanted to do… all she wanted to do was die. 

 

*** 

    

    “Mrs. Iwase?”  Looking up she found her secretary standing at the door. 

    “Yes?”

    “Mr. Iwase is waiting for you in the lobby. Whenever you finish, he’ll be there.”

    “Thank you.” Standing, she gathered her things and hurried up to get to him. It was beginning to become hard to get up and walk and she felt like she waddled more than walked now. She found herself out of breath so easily nowadays and the baby constantly pressed on her bladder, making her have to pee every two seconds. As she stepped outside the elevator, her breath caught in her throat. He stood up ahead, back turned to her. Hands in his pockets, his suit jacket was removed and his hair had been pushed back from his face. 

    “Roto?” He turned around and smiled some. 

    “All ready baby?”

    “Yeah…I got everything.”

    “Okay then let’s go.” Go where she didn’t know. Her feet said go home and soak me and her body said get in the bathtub but she picked up her feet and followed him outside the building. Stepping into one of their company cars, she watched as he got in, eyebrow raised. 

    “What are you up to Hiroto?” She asked, lips pursed. He blinked innocently. 

    “Up to what?” 

    “All of this smells like conspiracy. We ain’t goin straight home are we?” His mouth began to smirk and he coughed some before clearing his throat. 

    “I never can get anything past you can I?”

    “Nuh uh.” He chuckled. 

    “Well…I know it’s late and you’re probably tired but…I figured a nice dinner out would be welcome.” She gawked.

    “A nice dinner huh?”

    “Yeah… it’s been a while since we’ve been on a date.” Smiling, she reached across and took his hand. 

    “Aw baby…you wanna go on a date with me?”

    “Always. We just haven’t had the damn time lately.” He answered, lifting her hand to his lips. 

    “Yeah…I been busy with promotions for the book and overseeing Ayako. I’ve even been coming up with more initiative ideas.”

    “Busy busy girl.”

    “Yessir.” Lifting one of her feet, he pulled it into his lap and gently slid off her shoe. 

    “Roto-”

    “I want you to lay back for me baby. Lay back and relax.” His tone breached for no argument but it was soft, gentle and throaty. Licking her lips, she leaned back against the seat and closed her eyes as told. 

    “When’s the last time we had a moment to just pause?” He asked, massaging her foot. She sighed in relief and smiled some. 

    “Since Nara.”

    “A while ago then hm?”

    “Yeah…”

    “I’ve sent Kyou to Otousan’s for the weekend.”

    “You’ve planned this entire thing out huh?”

    “Damn right.”

    “And what do you think will be your reward Mr. Iwase?” She asked, opening her eyes. 

    “You know the answer to that.” He grinned with a wink. 

    “You know you have an increasingly pregnant wife now.”

    “And that’s gonna stop me because?”

    “Nasty ass.” 

    “I haven’t spoiled you the way I’ve wanted to in so long baby. I intend to starting here and now. 

    “Guess I have no choice but to comply then huh?” 

    “Nope.” 

 

*** 

    She still slept soundly and he couldn’t help smirking to himself. She looked satisfied and warm, tucked against him. Leaning down, he softly kissed her lips. His fingers gently traced her side, one long curve with a few grooves and indentations. He loved her body in every way; even though she needed reminded of that more often now. Petite and small, everything from her smooth brown thighs to the round cheeks of her derriere made him hot. 

    Gliding fingers across the stretched skin of her belly, he quietly stroked the stretch marks and other imperfections that she complained about. The woman in his arms was such a little warrior and she was carrying his child… their child so well. Even though her back hurt like a bitch, her ankles grew swollen and she often said she was bigger than a hippopotamus, he wanted to be there to support and take care of her when she needed him. 

    He gently reached for her wrist and brought it to his lips. Pressing her hand gently into the duvet, he leaned down to press a kiss to an exposed breast, now full engorged and heavy. Something about seeing her swollen like this did something to him and he found her even more desirable than ever before.

    “Roo…too…” He said not a word, only sprinkled kisses up her neck and across her jaw line. 

    “Roto…”

    “Yes beautiful?” She was slow to speak. 

    “Wha time isitbaby?” 

    “Mm…about 8 in the morning.”

    “I should get up and makebreakfass…” She pouted cutely. Chuckling, he kissed her sweetly. She turned her head. 

    “Nooo…. I got mornin breath…” His shoulders shook as he laughed softly. She was too cute. 

    “I don’t care about that… come here…” He playfully kissed her cheek and tried to kiss her lips but she moved her head, giggling. 

    “Roto… no…I stink and you know it. Lemme brush my teeth first..." 

    “Baby… I’ve seen every part of you. I’ve touched every part of you. I’ve kissed every single part of you. Hell, I’ve massaged your stomach on more than one occasion when you were on your period and let you use me as your own personal bed when you wanted to cuddle. Morning breath is not going to top that.” He felt her cheeks grow hot and a smile against his chest.

    “….. fine….” She slowly lifted her head and he caressed her cheek.

    “Gimme a kiss stubborn little woman…” She closed her eyes and kissed him gently. 

    “That wasn’t so hard mm?”

    “Oh hush…What do you want for breakfast?” She asked, reaching up to smooth his hair back from his face. 

    “I’m going to cook for you.” She bit her lip but this time she didn’t argue as he kissed her again, deeper this time and yes with tongue. 

    “You gonna let me take care of you today princess?” He asked, a slow smirk forming.

    “…Yes Daddy…” She murmured softly watching as he pulled away, sliding into some loose pants. 

    “Good girl.” He winked at her and slowly closed the door behind him, leaving her in their bedroom sighing in giddy contentment. Rubbing her belly, she looked down at her protruding stomach. 

    “Your Papa is something else but he’s so good to Mama. And he’ll be so good to you.” 

End Notes:

 

A/N: Allow my to officially start the tears and water works. It's truly been a pleasure being able to bring Hiroto and Rae to life. They are special to me and I know they've grown special to you as well. They've gone through so much, so many ups and downs. But the thing that remains the same is their love for each other. No matter what, Rae got Roto and Roto got Rae. 

On their Shi Sei Katsu...on their new journey in life, they'll always have one another. It has truly filled me with joy, pride and satisfaction to give them the happiness they fought for for so long and more than deserve. As a writer and as a creative, I've never written something with this much magnitude and depth nor have I grown so attached to my characters before. I knew that when God told me to write this story that it would be life changing. I knew it then in 2015. I prayed long and hard because at the time, I was trying to adopt another writing style, one not as pornographic in nature and idol centered.

I remember after I had the series of dreams of a Japanese teenaged boy, troubled and rough around the edges and a foreign African-American girl abandoned in Japan, I prayed to God like... Lord....Hiroto is doing really graphic things sexual in nature. Are you sure? Lord, Hiroto's cussing up a storm in the dream and conducting very destructive behavior. Are you sure? I can reveal it to you now but in my dreams, Rae was not only raped as a child but she was raped brutually as an adult, pregnant with their first child. I remember the dream very vividly. She was walking home from the store, (in the dream she had stepped down as COO and desired to be a housewife...of which Hiroto felt guilty for.) and three or four thugs came out of no where and gang raped her. Hiroto was on his way home from Shoutouii and upon traveling on the path to home, found her bloodied and abused on the side of the road. In the dream, Rae miscarried because of the rapings.

That morning after I dreamt it, I literally cried y'all. I cried so hard. I felt Rae's pain and for a while after that, I was very sensitive. I've never experienced anything like that before... quite like that. I did not write any of it. And thanks to God I didn't. I decided that once again, I would deviate from my original dream. I would not force Rae to endure more misery, pain, heartbreak and brutality. I chose to give her a happy ending. I chose to give Hiroto a happy ending. Because in the original dreams, he went after the men who raped his wife and killed them... All of them. And it traveled all the way through their life span until they died. I dreamt of their death and once again woke up crying.

Okay, we have one more chapter family. And this one is final. I'll see you next week hehe. 

Sunhalo17

 

Cute Rae maternity shoot (even though I didn't write it but it don't matter cause here is the vision ANYWAY and just general Rae being pregnant stuff JUST BECAUSE:

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