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Rating: T, adult situations, profane language. Disclaimer: HBO, Alan Ball, Charlaine Harris owns. I just put my spin on things and posted just for entertainment purposes. Author's notes: Jason at it again. Hope you'll like this. As always, please do leave your comments. Thanks!




Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


 

CHAPTER 11: One Damn Parody

 

“Sorry to be late guys!” Tara yelled above Willie Nelson, On The Road Again playing in the background as she walked in fifteen minutes into her shift. She hated being late. Matt barely able to look up, waved from behind the bar acknowledging her arrival while he busily served drinks to a row of customers sitting at the counter. Sookie was not present as yet as her shift was expected to start in fifteen minutes. Raven who was wiping down a table a few yards away looked up and cried out,

“You changed your hair. I like it!”

“Thanks!” Tara replied as she quickly shuffled on by and headed for the office to put her bag and denim jacket away.

“Yo, Hookah.” Lafayette yelled out to her from the kitchen as he spotted her walking by.

Meeting her in Sam's office, he said,

“Mmm, mmm..look atchew in yo' braids. I can tell Marcy had nothin' to do with this.”

“Yeah, you're right. It was Monique. She's new, hence why I'm late. Why, something's wrong?” Tara frowned touching her micro-braids.

“Ain't nothin wrong hookah. It's tight..neat...looks damn good. She done a better job than Marcy, that's fo' sho..” Lafayette pointed out checking out her do.

“Marcy didn't turn up as luck would have it. Monique may be slower but at least she didn't make it hurt as much. By the way, where's Sam?” Tara said taking off her jacket.

“He stepped out.” Lafayette paused then added, “Jason asked for you this morning.”

“Oh?” Tara brows furrowed as she folded her jacket and placed it and her bag into a cubby.

“He wanted to kno' if you'd be workin' tonight.”

“He tracking me now? The fuck's his problem... ”

“Ignore him. You know he ain't got a lick o' sense. At least you won't have to see his sorry ass for a whole week.”

“Damn right! When I'm stretched all out on the beach, he'll be the furthest thing from my mind.”

“Who'll be the furthest thing from your mind?” Sam asked when he suddenly walked in carrying stacks of laundered table cloths.

“Uh oh. Boss man's back. Well, I got me a shrimp gumbo beggin' to be stirred.” Lafayette said nodding at his cousin before he exited.

“Hey baby!” Tara chirped giving a quick smile once Lafayette was well out of sight. “Look, I'm back in braids!”

“So I see! Just like the first day I laid eyes on you. Beautiful.” Sam said as he closed the distance between them and looked at her with eyes filled with adoration.

Gently grabbing her by her slender waist, he pulled her in close then cupped his hands over her firm rump and kissed her. Wow, she sighed inwardly.

"So what were you and Lafayette talking about?” Sam asked when they ended their kiss.

She answered him with her arms still resting on his shoulders,

“Jason.”

“What about him?” He pressed parking his hands on her hips.

She truthfully replied, “He wanted to know if I'd be at work today.”

Even though from the start they both agreed to to be forthcoming in their relationship, she couldn't help wonder if her answer had opened up a can of bad ass worms. Staring into his eyes, she waited for him to say something but he became quiet. Too quiet, in fact. He'd become so still that it was as if he'd stopped breathing altogether. After a long enough pause he finally said,

“You know what honey? He could ask for you until the cows come home for all I care. What is important is the love we have for each other.”

Grinning, she said,

“Yeah, fuck 'im.”

“Besides, come next week when you're stretched out on the beach, I'll be right under your hot body with my cock shoved so deep inside of you, he won't be the only thing furthest from your mind.” Sam said in a raspy voice while rubbing his growing crotch on her thigh.

“Fuck!” She exclaimed delighted in his vulgarity. Then purred arching one suggestive brow, “Hmm, you promise?” The notion of them having sex on the beach seemed thrilling. Just as he was about to kiss her, she said,

“Wait a minute! How much of the conversation did you hear?”

“Enough.” Sam said smiling while slowly running his hands up and down her back.

“You were eaves dropping.”

“Not exactly. I just have keen ears.”

“On account of being a shifter?”

“Yeah, somthin' like that.”

“Is there anything else I should know about your abilities besides being good in bed?” Tara asked softly.

“That I love making love with you..but, you already knew that.” Sam chuckled then planted a gentle kiss on her soft lips. Reluctantly, they broke away and let out a groan before leaving the cozy office.

***

As the evening wore on, the pace picked up. There was now a sizable crowd of customers and the air became filled with music, laughter and idle chatting. Matt took his break when Sam came over to relieve him at the bar. Taking note of the type of clientele, Raven changed the selection to something more upbeat and country on the jukebox. Carrie Underwood's Undo It echoed across the room enticing most to either snap their fingers or nod their heads to the catchy beat.

“Sam, look at the crowd. What's gonna happen when we're away? How the heck is Matt gonna to manage?” Tara asked while Sookie started to make her way over to the bar toting a tray under her arm.

“Terry will help him out. Notice it's Arlene and Terry's night off tonight and we're copin'. So relax. Everyting'll be IRIE.”

Weeell. Ain't he in a good mood. Usually he'd be breathin' down everyone's backs 'specially with a crowd this thick, Tara thought then she shifted her attention to Sookie who began to reel off drink orders to her while standing on the opposite side of the counter. Tara couldn't help notice that her friend didn't seem her usual upbeat self tonight and thought that it was high time she had a little chat with her. After she filled the orders, she said to Sookie,

“Lets take a break when Matt comes back.”

“'kay.” Sookie sighed then took a tray full of drinks with her.

“Sam, is it OK for me an' Sooks to take our breaks now?” Tara asked when Matt returned to his post.

“Sure. Go ahead.”

“Thanks. We'll be in your office.”

***

“Sooks, you don't look yourself today. Did you an' Bill have a fight?” Tara flatly asked as she sat across from her friend in Sam's office.

“No, no.. we're cool.” Sookie replied looking down at her hands folded on her lap.

“Then why the long face? What's on your mind?”

“Just that with you an' Sam goin' off to Jamaica, and don't get me wrong, I'm happy for ya both, but..”

“But, you're thinkin' why it couldn't be you an' Bill.” Tara filled in imagining how hard it must be for humans and vampires to sustain a relationship when they can only see each other at nights.

“Yeah.” Sookie replied with a faint voice.

“Sookie. Have you at least spoken to Bill about the two of you going on a vacation?”

“No. What's the use. We could never do stuff together while the sun is out and you know how I love sunbathing.”

“Girl, what has that got to do with anything? There are normal couples out there who can't even do half the things that you an' Bill do together. Remember Abe?”

“Yeah. The paraplegic doctor.”

“Who is also blind! The fact that he's physically challenged doesn't stop he an' his wife Beverly from vacationing in the Caribbean every summer. Most of the time they end up doing things by themselves, an' you don't hear 'em complainin'. So what if you an' Bill don't go sunbathin' or snorkeling together. There are other things the two of you could do at nights at a resort. For instance you two could still go swimmin', an' there's dancin' and takin' romantic walks on the beach under the stars, and more. Talk it over with him. Maybe there are vampire holiday packages that you both could look into.”

“Yeah...I will. Thanks Tara. I feel so much better having spoken to you.” Sookie beamed and threw her arms around Tara's neck. After they hugged, she went on to ask,

“Aren't you so excited about movin' in with Sam?”

“Yes. I am. Just hope I won't fuck it up.”

“Tara! You won't. Look, we've been on-again-off-again room mates like, forever, and not once have we had a fall out. Doesn't that account for anything?”

“Yeah...but..”

“But nothin'! Quit over thinking. Everything's gonna be fine.”

***

At the end of their fifteen minute break, Sookie resumed waiting on tables and Tara returned to her bar-tending duties. Sam was about to make his way to his office but changed his mind when he saw Dusty and three of his work men walk in. Tara would not have suspected a thing even if she saw Sam greeting the men and ushering them to table five. Being so preoccupied with filling orders, she didn't even notice him leave her side and take some menus with him.

“Hey guys.” Sam greeted the men and exchanged casual hand shakes.

“Nice place you've got here.” Dusty said.

“Thanks. So, as y'all know the first round of drinks are free. So, what will it be?” Sam said while handing them each a menu.

“Beer”

“Beer”

“Beer..”

“Well, it's unanimous. Beer it is. We'll have what whatever you've got on tap.” Dusty anted up.

“Alright!”

Lowering his voice, Sam asked, “So, how are things shaping up over at my place?”

“The cabinetry in the kitchen and bathrooms have been installed and by tomorrow morning the granite counter tops will be in.”

“Nice! I'll come by tomorrow afternoon with the second deposit.”

Sam looked up when he heard familiar voices and saw that it was Jason walking in with Hoyt. From where he stood, he could tell that Jason appeared his normal usual self. Still, he didn't like the idea of him asking about Tara's whereabouts. So, he decided to have a nice chat with Jason. As it turned out, Tara didn't see Jason or Hoyt come in. Nor did she see them being seated at the booth by the window by Raven. Not taking his eyes off of Jason, Sam said to the men,

“I'll send a waitress to take your orders.” and then took off in Jason's direction. Meanwhile, Hoyt got up from the table to chat with his neighbors Tim and Bev Malcom two booths away.

On his the way, Sam met Raven heading in the opposite direction. He knew she had just taken Jason and Hoyt's order and told her to take three complimentary pitchers of beer to table five first. Thinking nothing of his request, she continued her way to the bar.

“Evenin' Jason. What can I getcha?” Sam asked with his jaw clenched when he appeared at his table while keeping his back to the bar.

“Raven already took our order.” Jason replied in a matter-of-factual tone and looked straight into Sam's eyes.

“I know.” Sam growled. Leaning in closer to him, he added with his voice lowered,

“You better not have plans for Tara 'cause she ain't interested in you. She and I are in love. You got that?”

Jason Stackhouse, former Bon Temps High quarterback whose passing record was still yet to be broken, had a competitive streak about him. It didn't matter that Tara and Sam were in love. All he cared about was being beaten to the punch. Although he had no interest in Tara from the beginning but after they shared a hug that day at the gas-station, he felt something that he couldn't explain. Right now, he didn't appreciate Sam coming up into his face one damn bit.

Keeping his browns fixed on Sam's piercing blues, he said,

“Listen buster. I can protect her better 'n you can. Been doin' that since we been kids. Me an' Tara, we have history.”

“History, huh? And who's bed is she keepin' warm? Not yours.”

It certainly didn't take much to silence Jason and he pretty much kept his pie hole shut after that which was probably a wise thing for him to do as otherwise if things escalated between he and Sam, then he risked ending up once again in Tara's bad books. In the middle of their stare-down, Hoyt returned and sat down across from Jason.

“Hey Sam.” Hoyt said oblivious of the heightened tension between the men.

“Hey Hoyt, I was just telling Jason that I'll be sending you guys a pitcher of Budweiser on the house.” Sam lied.

“Awesome! Thanks Sam!” Hoyt said and didn't see Jason giving Sam an overtly fake smile.

“Yeah, thanks.” Jason sneered and watched Sam depart. Sam realized it was a complete waste of his time approaching Jason. Clearly no matter what he or Tara did, neither of them were going to get the message through his thick head. So, he turned and left to do more important things waiting for him in the office.

***

Sookie left early when it was only a couple of hours before closing. Tara began to feel the effects of a long and busy night. Worn and tired, she looked forward to curling up in bed with Sam. She was happy with the purchases she made earlier in the week in preparation for moving in with him. For starters, she bought bath towels and mats and bed linens that were on sale at Penny's. The next thing she wanted to do was buy fabric to make curtains. But, before she could do that she needed to at least take measurements of the windows. “I'll ask Sam to take me to the rental in the morning, that's what I'll do”, Tara said to herself.

Now that the crowd had finally begun to thin, there were still the occasional one or two late comers who meandered in. A slender blond woman in her early thirties came in all by her lonesome. She wore a short mini skirt and a blouse that was two sizes too small. From the way she strutted in her red cowboy boots and wiggled her hips to Mickie James' Hardcore Country, it was obvious that she wasn't leaving Merlotte's without a man.

“Weeelll, looks like somebody is ready to have her some fun..” Tara said and placed two bourbons in front of Terrence Grady the retired statistician who had a thing or two to say about the woman.

“Melanie Leblanc, Mel L., Renard County's floozy is always up for a good time.” Terrence said as he gave the woman a glance over his left shoulder.

All eyes were on Mel L., as she stood before the jukebox wooing and bumping her hips whilst combing her fingers through her limp yellow hair.

Turning his head back around and picking up his glass of bourbon, Terrence went on to say,

“Yep. Her mild mannered husband came home early from work one day to find two men screwing the living daylights outta her in their matrimonial bed. So he loaded his twelve gauge and shot at them leaving a gaping hole in the wall. The following week, he had her served divorce papers.”

“No shit!” Tara exclaimed as she watched him knock back his drink.

“Yessiree. And you know what else? She's goin' home with the blond buck sittin' right over there by the window.”

Looking past Terrence, she saw whom he was referring to. Jason. There Jason was lustfully eyeballing the gyrating blonde from his booth. Fully cognizant of his reputation with women, and not just the females from this bum fuck town, Tara wasn't about to disagree with Terrence.

“No arguments there.” She said with certainty.

“So you're sayin' she has a thing for blond men.” Tara said keeping the conversation going while clearing empty bottles from the counter.

“Yeppers. She likes 'em young, handsome, stacked, and...”

“Dumb.” Tara finished with a chuckle.

“Exact-a-mundo!”

“You seem to know a lot about this woman. What's your association with her anyway?” She asked out of curiosity while she dried shot glasses with a towel.

“She was married to my son.”

“Ah.”

Lafayette took a break from the kitchen and stood next to Tara then helped himself to some vodka.

Leaving Hoyt to nurse his beer, Jason got up and walked over to Mel L. Without so much as introducing himself, he came up to her from behind and casually bumped his crotch against her buttocks while laughing and snapping his fingers away. In response, she leaned back and rubbed her body heavily against his.

“Uh oh.. here we go.” Lafayette said looking on while sipping his vodka from a mug.

“I'm glad Sookie ain't here to see this.” Tara said with disgust in her voice also watching Jason's antics.

Turning around, Mel L. boldly grabbed Jason's buttocks and whispered something no doubt lascivious in his ear. Before you knew it, they both headed out the front entrance.

“Told ya.” Terrence said raising his second glass as if it were a great revelation.

“That boy is sex on a stick.” Lafayette said laughing and lightly tapping his mug against Terrence's glass.

“He's one damn parody of himself that's what.” Tara chuckled shaking her head while wiping down the counter.

**0**












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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.