CHAPTER 5: Apologies and Chances Lost

"Hey Sookie." Recognizing the ring-tone, Tara answered her cell just as she pulled into the gas station close to home. She was on her way to meet Morgan at the fabric outlet warehouse and decided make a quick stop to top up her tank.

"Tara. Where are you?" the voice on the other end asked.

"Gas station. What's up?" Tara inquired as she eyed a parking spot.

"I'm so sorry about Jason. He's such a moron." Sookie said apologetically referring to her brother's inappropriate behavior at the bar last night.

"Let me guess. Arlene, right?" Tara figured right. Arlene, the known carrier of news be it good, bad or indifferent. Tara positioned her car at the parking spot facing Montgomery Drive then killed the engine and engaged the emergency brake.

"Of course. She called me early this morning and told me everything. My dick of a brother. I can't believe he did that. I know he can be forward around women, but what he did was down right disgusting. I gave that ass wipe an ear full. Just to let you know, he came by looking for you fifteen minutes ago."

Then Tara saw a familiar looking black truck roar by on Montgomery Drive before making a sharp turn at the gas station's entrance.

"Your dick of a brother just found me." Tara said as she watched Jason park his four wheel drive Ram Charger 1500 next to her Pinto.

"Good. Talk to you later." Sookie said in closing before hanging up.

"Um, hey Tara." Jason said nervously when he hopped out of his truck and slammed the door shut behind him. He could see that she wasn't smiling. She had her arms tightly crossed under her breasts. Barely acknowledging his presence, she remained seated and stared straight ahead. The old rusty hinges groaned as Jason opened the car door and plunked himself down into the passenger seat next to her and closed himself in.

"What d'ya want Jason? I got things to do." Tara said sounding pissed. She knew what was coming next and wasn't in the mood for it.

"I want to apologize 'bout last night. I was out of line."

"Out of line!” Tara was livid. “Goddamn it Jason, you practically felt me up in front of everybody on top of which you spoke to me like I was some kind of ten dollar whore. I've never felt humiliated in all my life."

"Tara, I'm sorry. I...I shouldn't have treated you like that. You're like a little sister to me. What I did was wrong. I'm not tryin' to make excuses but, that wasn't me last night. I was on V."

"V? So you dealing in V now! Jesus Jason. Why?"

"Last night was my first time. I heard that...that it's a good aphrodisiac so..so I got some."

"Aphrodisiac. The fuck! Since when you needed help in that department?"

"I..um.."

Cutting him off, "You know what, I don't wanna know. Jason, let this be a warning, and this is for your own good. You gotta stop that V shit right now. I mean it! I read that that shit can fuck you up. What would Gran think if she were still alive."

"You're right, Tara. I won't ever touch it again. I've learned my lesson. To think that I almost lost a good friend over it. Tara, will you ever forgive me?"

"Yeah. I forgive you...this time..." Tara warned then gave him a tiny wink and a reassuring smile.

"So, does this mean we're still friends?"

"Yes Jason...we'll always be friends."

Jason threw his arms above his head, smiled and wrapped them about her and hugged her tightly. She hugged him back and didn't notice when he smelled her hair while his cheek was pressed up against hers. Of the many times they hugged playfully in the past, he'd never noticed it before but at that instance she felt wonderful in his arms. Warm, soft and sweet. He didn't know what had come over him but he became aware of how exquisite she smelled. That her hair and skin smelled a blend of citrus, lavender and vanilla. A nectarous scent that spelled innocence and seduction. Oh God, what is she doing to me, he thought.

For a brief moment as he held her, he closed his eyes and wished that they could go back in time. To a time before that blue-eyed mystery man, Sam, came to Bon Temps and stole his Tara away from him. He blamed himself for not jumping at the slightest chance she'd given him and paid more attention to her back when she smiled at him and hanged on to every word that fell out of his mouth. Instead, he ignored her and indulged himself into meaningless relationships and one-night stands. All along he'd looked at her through brotherly eyes but now as he looked at her, he saw a beauty, a light and a sensuality in her that he regretted not seeing before. Alas, it was too late. He'd lost his chance.

When he'd finally broke their embrace, he asked her as he rocked back into his seat, "So, you an' Sam datin'?"

"Yes. We are. Seriously now for four months." she answered truthfully while looking down at her hands resting neatly on her thighs.

"Does he love you?" Jason asked quite frankly as he remembered her and Sam kissing in front of him last night.

"Yes, he does." Tara admitted with her eyes raising slightly upwards that her gaze hovered blankly somewhere at his chest.

"And you...do you love him?" It hurt him to ask, but he had to be sure.

"Yes, I do. I love him. Very much." she softly and slowly replied and lifted her gaze to meet his brown eyes.

She smiled realizing that she was able to freely admit her love for Sam to him, unattainable-Jason whom she had a crush for for years. She smiled because she could make such admonition without feeling guilty and without feeling anxious. For years she carried a torch for Jason and thought that her feelings for him were so deeply ingrained in her that it was going to one day turn against her. But, she was wrong. As she looked at him sitting mere inches from her, she knew without a doubt that her love for Sam was certain and true.

Jason then dropped his hand on top of hers that were resting on her lap and said while giving her a light squeeze, "Well, he... he's a lucky man."

What he did next surprised her even more. He reached up to touch her cheek. But the reaction she gave, he didn't expect. She recoiled sharply and did so without so much as giving it a second thought. That hurt. When she'd pulled away from him, though it was only by no more than a few inches, it might as well had been a thousand inches. Her reaction was like a slap to his face. It yanked him back to a crushing reality. With his hand frozen in mid-air, he came to before quickly pulling it back to its home base. He wanted to touch her and feel her soft skin, but, she was in every right to react the way she did. She wasn't his and would never be. She now belonged to Sam.

Realizing he'd overextended his stay, he suddenly turned about in the brown leatherette seat, leaned to one side, pulled the lever and swung the door open. Partially out of the car, one leg in one leg out, Tara said to him, "Jason, he makes me happy. My life is wonderful."

With his back to her, he paused contemplating her words. Then, he looked over his shoulder and smiled weakly at her before getting out of her car and firmly shutting the door on the way out. Standing between the vehicles, he stooped down and looked at her through the window then waved good-bye before hopping back into his truck. While she watched him drive away, she flipped open her pink razar and called Sam and when he answered, she said,

"I love you."

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