Kamir ran his hand through his hair as he walked amongst the people. Here he was, alone, in Ōsaka walking the streets when he should have been somewhere in between Sara's legs. Perhaps that was a bit crass. If only she was single. If she was single, she would be wrapped tight around him calling to the Gods in appreciation. However, she was in her apartment alone worried about her son.

Maybe he should have stayed, but really, what was the point if her mind wasn't with them? She was the first woman with a kid he had ever attempted to woo. Even so, that contributed to his respect for her. 

He smiled to himself. If only he had gotten laid! Damn, he was up for it.

"Dubashi-san?"

He turned his head in surprise. She looked startled.

"Kaoru-san? What are you doing here?"

"I just finished a meeting about my business." She looked embarrassed.

"How is that going?" They began to walk together.

"Very well, thank you Dubashi-san."

He leaned closer.

"Call me Kamir, please." She lowered her eyes and smiled in response. "Would you like to celebrate your success?" Again, she appeared startled and her cheeks burned softly. "A drink, my treat. I had plans but they fell through. What do you say?" He could see her wheels turning in thought. She seemed to be fighting something as she bit her lip. Finally, she looked him in the eyes and smiled brightly.

"I would like that, yes."

***

The whole thing was surreal to Sara. She was going to Yuki's flat. After taking a quick shower, she donned a comfortable pair of short-leg pants and three quarter shirt. She messed about with her now shoulder length hair finally slapping on headband and pushing back up on her head. She pushed her feet into some flats and after taking one last look around her apartment closed the door quietly behind her.

It amazed her how there was no need for her to think about which train to take. She swiped her train pass through the sensor and walked through the turnstile to the platform for the brown train. There were already passengers waiting in a uniform line so she took her place as it arrived and waited patiently with the rest of the ongoing passengers as the outgoing stepped off. As soon as they passed, they on filed in, the doors shut and the train lurched forward.

This train was taking her to Yuki's flat. She glanced at the riders who sat as if this was not the monumental event that is was. As if she were totally overreacting to buzz with excitement and nervousness. As if she were going to meet a friend for beef buns instead of her ex-lover and father of her child. As if it was not the first time in eight years she went to his apartment. How time did change things. Who would have thought she would be in this situation. Sara switched trains as if going to his home was the most natural thing in the world and emerged from the station instinctively starting the block and half walk to his building.

She noticed the changes. The trees were much larger now. Some of the stores she remembered were gone and new ones stood in their places. The old street lights had been replaced with new one, no doubt more streamlined and economical. As she entered the building she told the guard her name and who she was visiting. He picked up the phone. In the past, she could walk through to the elevator with a brief wave to the guard. Now he politely detained her as he confirmed approval from Yuki.

As the elevator doors opened on Yuki's floor she looked up to see Shouda waiting with a big smile.

"Mom, you're here." He grabbed her hand and tugged her down the hallway to Yuki's door which was wide open. Yuki stood holding the door nob.

"Oh, hello." She smiled 

"Sarua"

Shouda pulled her into the flat.

"Excuse the intrusion." She half stumbled after her son a bit embarrassed.

"We have not started yet. We were waiting for you." He pulled her to the couch and called his dad. There the three sat with Shouda in the middle. No onlooker would ever believe they were not a family.

They started with Shouda in hospital. Sara stood in a robe and waved at Shouda on the other side of the glass. The camera zoomed in on her worried look and then at Shouda squirming around in his crate.

"Mom, you waved and I was not paying attention. Sorry." He grabbed her hand.

"Do not worry." Sara squeezed it.

Next, the camera focused on a hospital door as it opened and zoomed in on Mr. Shinohara sitting in a chair with his eyes closed. In his lap he cradled a wide eyed Shouda. His head was tucked under Shinohara's chin and his little butt sat in the bends of Shinohara's elbows as he hugged himself. Shouda's hair sat straight up and his little fingers opened and closed a fraction at intervals. The lens turned to Sara as she sat in bed asleep, her head resting on Darren's shoulder as he lounged beside her working a crossword puzzle.

"Shinohara!" Shouda pointed and laughed. "I am so small."

"You were a little small, but you recovered in no time." Sara ruffled his hair.

The clip switched to the Richard's home. Sara walked passed in mircomini braids cradling a phone between her ear and shoulder. She glanced behind her and smiled. The camera descended to Shouda in a walker smiling up as his mother. He trailed behind her across the floor then they both disappeared. Moments later Sara, still talking on the phone, passed through the living room. Shouda marching behind her looking at the backs of her legs.

Whomever directed the camera switch his position and sat facing the kitchen. Sara walked in view with Shouda following, hands stretched out as if walking a tightrope. She stopped and he ran into her calves. She hooted and dropped the phone. Shouda leaned over as if to pick it up, but over extended himself and toppled over head first.

(Watch'im now) Darren commanded with a chuckle from thin air. Shouda cried and Sara swooped him up as she laughed.

"Its all right Shouda." She cooed. "You better get used to falling right now, there is a lot more where that came from. The important thing is to shake it off," she shook him gently and he smiled with watery eyes, "lift your head up," she kissed him under his round little chin and blew into his baby fat eliciting an eruption of giggles, "and keep on keeping-on." Sara spun him in a circle and put him right back in his walker after turning it upright. 

The camera zoomed in on startled Shouda as he found himself in the traitorous contraption again. Sara's legs walked off the screen and Shouda looked up, took one step then another and picked up speed as he followed his beloved beacons. The camera recorded his half run until they turned a corner.

"Wow! I took a nose dive." Shouda cackled between his parents on the sofa.

"You took all kinds of dives. Nose, swan, back flips, cannon balls, belly flops, everything before you learned how to walk and run properly." Sara laughed. She noticed that Yuki laughed too, but not the laughter of remembering good memories. It was the laughter of looking at someone else enjoy life or pure entertainment laced with longing. Her heart constricted and before she brain sent the ‘abort' signal to her arm, she had rested it on the couch behind Shouda and feathered her fingers through Yuki's hair from his temple to the base of his neck.

He turned to her and she smiled reassuringly. His eyes dropped then met her again. A small smile curved his lips and he gave a quick nod. He then put his arm around Shouda and squeezed him. Shouda looked up.

"I am sure I did the same thing many times as well. The advice Sarua gave is very appropriate. You must remember it always." Yuki squeezed him again and looked back at the TV.

Putting his arm around Shouda is not what Yuki wanted to do at that moment. Sara's touch made his whole head tingle. It made his hands itch and his stomach jump. His feet shifted on the floor and his hips twitch. He had been keenly aware of her since she walked in the door and now it magnified. What he wanted to do was grab her hand and kiss it. To pull it around his neck and settle his head in curve of hers. To wrap his arms around her and let the feel of her sooth his nerves. His aching heart. His battered pride. His guilty conscious.

He want to whisper his thanks into the warm skin at the base of her neck. To thank her for making this scrapbook so that he could catch up on some of the missed moments. Then thank her for allowing Shouda to enter his life. For giving birth to him. For caring for him.

Instead, he squeezed his son with the intensity of emotion he felt for Sara and looked at the television. He stared at it. Bore holes in it. He was afraid to look back at Sara even though he knew her eyes continued to roam his visage. Watching for his weakness and insecurity. Watching so that she could provide strength. She was expert at reading him and he feared that if he looked at her now, she would see that he... He closed his eyes against it. 

***

Kaoru took another look at the lounge to which Kamir had guided her. The interior was Baroque in design. Massive ornate furniture, luxurious textiles, marble and bronze clad walls, woodcarving, plaster work, gilt bronzes, mirrors and oil paintings at every turn. The total opposite of Japanese minimalism and efficiency. Still, she was excite to be in a place she would never normally go, with a man that was nothing like her husband.

They sat at a small table situated just right of one of enormous mirrors. Hand size cherubs floated around the refections delicate, perpetually gilt in bronze. She tried to make herself as comfortable as possible in the large wingback chair, the brightly colored upholstery gave softly under her weight. At her urging, Kamir ordered something for her to try when the waiter inquired as to drinks.

"So, I take it business is going well?" Kamir sat back in his large chair. Kaoru noted that it never mattered where she saw him, he always looked unaffected and immensely handsome.

"Yes, both Yuki and Sarua have been a great help. I feel that it will not be too long before I am officially a business owner." She took the glass that was placed before her and looked at the clear liquid.

"Scotch and tonic." Kamir grabbed his own and lifted it into the air. "To a new beginning?"

"Yes. A new beginning." She took a sip and coughed faintly. It was strong.

"If you do not like it, we can order something else." Kamir sat up attentively.

Kaoru shook her head and pressed her fingers to her mouth. "No, I will drink it." She smiled and took another sip. Kamir laughed lightly at her expression before pitching the rest of his down his throat.

"Shall we get something to eat?" Kaoru nodded and he raised his hand for the waiter. He ordered hors d'oeuvre and turned his attention back to her.

"How is Sarua?" She felt herself begin to relax and pushed back in her chair.

"She is home tonight."

"Perhaps we should have invited her. Yuki is home with Shouda. I like Shouda. He is a very nice boy." She ended a little surprised at her rambling and smiled.

"That he is, and he loves his father. Yuki is doing very well for himself." Did she detect a bit of sarcasm? 

"You do not like Yuki?" She inquired boldly.

"I like him just fine. He is an honorable fellow, responsible." He stole a glance at her, "boring."

Kaoru laughed before leaning forward, "I think so too. But, he is not bad." She watched Kamir's eyebrows rise and a smirk spread across his face.

"So tell me," two plates and a small basket of crispy toasted bread-lets were set on the table as well as a small oblong serving dish of whipped salt cod gratin. Kaoru's empty glass was whisked away and replaced. "Where do you fit into what happened between Yuki and Sara?"

"Well...." Kaoru was at yet another crossroads. She felt a pull between her loyalty to the Umezawa family and her own independence. There was also the new road of friendship she had embarked on with Sara and another path involving the new understanding between herself and Yuki. She was reminded of Sara's honesty when she herself had confronted her about Yuki. To new beginnings. "Yuki and I were engaged before he met Sarua."

"I see."

"It was an empty engagement. More for our parents than ourselves. We both felt we had to comply with tradition. At some point, he met Sarua." She took a bite of her biscuit smeared with gratin cod.

"I think at a karaoke bar. I'd love to see Yuki in a karaoke bar." Kamir laughed and prepared his own finger food.

"Yes." She laughed with him. "She did not know he was engaged though." She reminded him soberly. 

"What about Yuki?" He reached to make anther one.

"I think that is more complicated. I can not condemn him, in fact, I understand very well what he might have been thinking." Kamir glanced at her and she trained her eyes on her drink. She calmly picked it up and took a sip. "I believe his parents became aware of the seriousness of their relationship. Yuki told me that they mention knowing about it for some time, but thought it was a passing affair. His parents demand that he stop seeing her and he did."

"Coward." Kamir announced before finishing off his drink.

"Perhaps. He did not know Sarua was pregnant. They never spoke again until we all met at the marshal arts exposition my husband sponsors. Shouda is a pupil at his training center. They knew each other before Yuki knew he was his son. He found out and you know the rest."

"Sara had no idea of his social class?"

"Yuki said she did not."

Kamir quirked a brow. "You and Yuki have spoken extensively about the situation."

"We are closer than we have ever been." She countered.

"Meaning you are in love?" Kaoru could not help noting the sarcasm in Kamir's voice. She felt she was right in her assumption. Kamir did not think much of Yuki. She wondered if it was because of Sara.

"Meaning we are close."

He picked up his napkin and slid it over his lips before sitting back comfortably in his chair. "So why are you here with me?"

"Because you invited me." She paused. "You have been very obvious in your pursuit of Sarua. Why are you here with me?"

***

As awkward as the situation was, Sara felt strangely at ease. She was again in Yuki's kitchen preparing something to eat. How many times had she done this in the past? This time she was hungry. They had watch about an hour of the videos before Shouda zonked out. She and Yuki had watched a few more together. Yuki was on the couch with Shouda's head in his lap. 

She stirred the miso soup, tofu and noodles. She had also put in shards of cabbage, carrots and chives. The agitated miso swirled around in a cloud before settling back towards the bottom of the small pot. She turned off the heat, ladled a bit into two bowls and put them on a tray with chopsticks and Japanese style porcelain soup spoons. She let it cool while she cleaned up debris and then took the tray to the coffee table in front of the couch.

Seeing Yuki watch the video had filled her with a certain melancholy. She wanted to comfort him, support him. Let him know that she appreciated his efforts.

"It really was the cutest thing." Sara handed him a bowl and chopsticks. "Whenever I would talk to him, he would smile. So, I would lift the spoon to his mouth and he would open it and then I would talk to him and he would look at me and smile. I would move the food to his mouth again and he would concentrate and open his mouth, but when I told him to ‘open wide' or ‘eat up', he would smile. It got to the point that he would look between me and the food as if he had no clue what to do next." She chuckled and popped a cube of tofu into her mouth. Yuki slurped his noodles while his shoulder's shook.

"You always did add a mass of noodles Sarua." He said after wiping his mouth.

"I know, sorry." She shrugged.

"It is very good." Shouda's head stirred in his lap and he lifted the bowl. A few seconds later he looked at Sara and smiled. She adjusted herself and hooked his knees over her thigh. "From the video, the delivery was not easy. You stayed a few days in hospital."

Sara regained eye contact. "There were complications, I almost lost him. The doctors said I could have died as well. After the birth I was very weak. It was all I could do to nurse at first. Then I would take short walks to see him."

"I should have been there."

"Yes, you should have." Yuki's head shot up. "I wanted you there more than anyone else. But the Shinohara's were there. They saved both our lives. Mother and father came shortly after and the medical team was very competent. I was in good hands."

"I am sorry Sarua..."

"I did not say that because I wanted an apology or to make you feel guilty. I said it because it is the truth. For the longest time after we parted in this flat," she looked around, "I wanted you to come to me, call me, send me a note. When I found that I was pregnant I want to run to you and tell you. I imagined that you would come back to me. That we could be together. But I did not come to you because I was afraid your family would tell you not to acknowledge the baby and you would obey or that they would want me to get rid of him. Worse case scenario, you would reject me again. I did not think I could take it. I knew I had the means to raise Shouda on my own and I did." Sara was surprised to find a lone tear gliding down her cheek.

"I do not blame you for those feelings Sarua. In rejecting you, the way I abandoned you I belied the very principles I was trying to follow, that of honor, responsibility, decency and tradition. No one could blame you for the way you handled it." Yuki held her gaze and smeared the tear across her cheek with his thumb. "I would not have rejected you. I am not sure that the result would have been better though."

Sara understood. In accepting the situation there would have been a mountain of other challenges that both of them may not have had the maturity to weather successfully. The main components would still have existed. He was engaged, an engagement that she may have broken up, his family would not have been accepting, she would still have been subjected to the original rejection and therefore detrimentally insecure perhaps. Sara nodded her head and lifted the bowl to her mouth. The soup was warm and soothing as it swirled down her throat.

"Meeting you, I realized that I had my head buried in the sand all of my life. I enjoyed the happiness and freedom; the feeling of standing on my feet, instead of kneeling on all fours, that came with being with you. My legs were shaky, however, and when my parents confronted me that evening, I was knocked down. I was unsure that if I tried to stand back up I could accomplish it and remain so." Sara watched Yuki gaze down at his son and caress his cheek and forehead. He moved some of his curls around and taking Shouda's wrist in his hand, lifted it to his mouth. 

He kissed it. "I should have tired."

"I would have helped you."

"I know. Molded by eight years of guilt, heartache and having you here now, I know."  

He had allowed himself to wipe her tear, but no more. He would not make the same mistake twice. He was carried away with his emotions perhaps. He kissed his son instead. Caressed his skin. He had told himself in the beginning, he would pour all the love he had not given to Sara, with his own, into his son. He would stand by Shouda. He would love Shouda and care for him, support and comfort him. He would be all the things he could never be for Sara.

She had been quiet for a few seconds longer than normal. 

"You have every right to be angry with me, at me. I am thankful that you let me be a part of Shouda's life."

"I was very resentful, angry and hurt. But these negative emotions accomplish nothing. They erode the soul and rust the heart. They make us bitter and unreasonable. I do not like feeling that way." She sighed, "the fact of the matter is that you are married to a very kind intelligent woman. I am moving on with that part of my life. What you and I had, Yuki, is over. We have to concentrate on Shouda, give him the best we possibly can. I am committed to this."

Yuki's brow pinched faintly in response to her words. They hurt, but held truth. Especially now they hurt that he... He clinched his jaw. 

"I am too." He glanced up at the clock and frowned. Kaoru was not home yet. It was late. "It is too late for you to return home. You should stay." He watched Sara's eyes round. "In Shouda's room. He can sleep with me. I often does when he stays." He roused himself carefully and placed his empty bowl on the tray before pulling Shouda into his arms.

He stopped in front of a door, "This is Shouda's room." He watched Sara slowly rise off the couch, glance at the clock and walk to Shouda's room. He place Shouda softly on his bed and pulled a large T-shirt from a drawer before leaving the room. At Shouda's bedroom door he observed Sara looking at a photo of she and Shouda before clearing his throat. "For you to sleep in. The bathroom is..."

"Across the hall." She finished for him and eased the shirt from his hand.

***

Kaoru tightened her grip on the edge of the mattress as Kamir pounded into her from behind in a short burst of divine agony. He lowered himself fully on her outstretched frame. Her legs lay between his, he rocked upward against her petite ass sweat leaking from the pours of his skin. His hands slithered slickly under her chest and cupped her breasts. Kaoru turned her head to the side and panted. He kissed her shoulder, her neck and her face, licking the sweat from her cheek.

He continued his ministrations, rocking his weight against his elbows and knees and he stuffed his cock into her wetness slow and easy. He pivoted his hips from side to side.

"You like this?" He whispered before latching onto her earlobe.

"Yes"

"Yeah?" His tongue flicked over the lip of her inner ear. He breathed heavily into it and she squirmed.

"Yes"

Reaching between them, he pulled both her legs up to the side. His cock stayed firmly implanted inside her. She turned on her side and he eased up and sat back on his heels. He push one leg up bent at the knee and the other he lifted and tucked under his arm.

Sliding himself further inside her he grunted before driving into her fiercely. Her porcelain skin glistened in the moonlight. Her body gave to him. God he was up for it tonight! He bent over forcing the leg under his arm wider. If she were in pain, she said nothing. She cried in pleasure amid the sticky slapping of their two bodies colliding. He bent closer and she turned her head toward him, grabbed him by the nape and pulled his lips down to hers.

Kamir lay on his back, chest heaving with his hands above his head. He felt Kaoru lift and turned his head.

"It is too late to go back home. You do not mind if I stay?" She held the sheets covering her breasts.

"I do not mind at all." He watched her turn back over, her back to him. After closing and opening his eyes, he ran a shaky hand down his face and wondered what the hell he was doing.

***

Yuki turned his head and peeked at his digital clock again. He had not heard Kaoru come home. He decided to check and eased out of bed with one eye making sure Shouda was undisturbed. He opened his door quietly and after shutting it, approached Kaoru's. He knocked lightly, then stepped back. There was no light. He tried the knob and it opened. The bit of light from down the hall sent a lone ray across the floor and up over the comforter of her bed. It was empty. He stared at if for a few seconds then shut the door. 

As he turned he noticed a light coming from Shouda's room. His feet stood heavily planted to the floor. He looked back at his bedroom door with the full intension of crawling back under the sheets but his legs propelled him forward. He studied the light as it licked the front of his toes and his chest rose and fell abnormally. He lifted his hand and knocked lightly on the door. There was no answer.

His hand clenched into a fist and his heart rate sped up. Slowly he reached for the knob. He gripped it palm sweaty and slowly turned until the latch gave. He stood poised for a few seconds. His mind careening through the possible scenarios that could take place once he opened this door. His mind kept saying he did not want to hurt Sara, but his heart wanted to rip her to shreds as long as she opened up to him. He placed his free hand on the door frame and bowed his head, partially in shame for his desires and partially for strength to combat them.

He leaned on the door swinging it open and lifted his head. 

Sara lay on Shouda's bed on her side. Her hair fanned out over the pillow. One hand tucked under it, the other into her chest. Her legs where drawn up like a fetus. She was sleep. He watcher he body rise and fall rhythmically and he eyes darted across the hem of his shirt as it lay on her thighs. Her underwear exposed. She was totally and completely innocent.

Yuki's heart calmed, his mind quieted and before turning out the light, he smiled then shut the door.