Yuki took a deep breath before hitting the chime. He had nervously called Sara a few days before to ask to see Shouda. She had readily agreed. She was making this too easy for him. 

Today they were going for Ramen as promised. His body temperature rose and his heart raced, he was too old to be this nervous. The door flew open and Sara stood in front of Yuki with a smile. He subconsciously eased.

"Hello Yukimoto," they shared an informal bow, she had dropped the honorific. "Come in please. Shouda will be ready in a moment." She leaned closer. "He has changed his outfit four times." They grinned at each other and Sara shook her head. He took his time observing her. This was one of the things he liked about Sara, she was always ready to laugh and enjoy life. He felt guilty.

"Yuki-san!" Shouda ran up and gave Yuki a very enthusiastic hug. He was both caught off guard and touched. He gave his son a squeeze and rustled his hair. Shouda looked very happy to see him. "We will go to eat Ramen, right?" He pointed at Yuki.

"Yes, as much as you want."

Shouda could hardly contain his excitement. He started talking as soon as Sara closed the door behind them. As they walked down the hall, road the elevator and exited out the building, he informed Yuki of everything he knew about living there. When he saw Yuki's car, he expressed all his desires to have one and asked every question possible about Yuki's as they road through the streets. When they parked near the ramen-ya restaurant they were in the middle of discussing the martial arts club tournament fast approaching. Yuki pushed the door open and they walked into the small space.

"Wow, I go for ramen sometimes with sofu Shinohara, but mostly with mom. Sofu Shinohara likes the ramen stand near our apartment building." Yuki guided him to the bar. "Did you know mom really likes ramen? She calls it ‘comfort food.'"

Yuki sat beside his son in thought. That phrase sounded familiar.

The back of Yuki's hand glided across the cold futon and he opened his eyes. Night covered his view of Ōsaka like a dense warm blanked. Stillness pinched at his ears and then movement. He lifted up and walked out into his apartment where he encountered a rich smell that led him to his kitchen. There Sara stood in his pajama shirt in front of his stove arranging something on a plate. Her back was to him.

"What are you making?"  

She jumped slightly then laughed.

"Comfort food."

"Ah, English. Then this is from the West."

"Would you like to try some? They are called pancakes and they taste especially good at this hour." She turned to him with a plate stacked with round thin pieces of bread.

"At this hour?" He glanced at the clock, 1:45 a.m.. He watched her skeptically as she cover each cake in butter and pulled out a bottle with ‘Maple Syrup' printed on it. She poured the dark liquid over the buttered bread, cut through the soft sponginess with a fork and lifted it to his lips. It smelled sweet.

"No?" she put the portion in her mouth and chewed. She then leaned over the table and kissed him softly on the lips. As she drew back he licked his lips and tasted something very sweet. It was quite good. "How about now?"

He mirrored the slow smile that spread across her face, then cleared his throat.

"I think I will try some."

He smiled at the memory.

"Yes, pancakes at 1:45 in the morning."

"You know?" Shouda smiled illuminatingly. "Anything that helps you feel fat and well loved. That is the best time to eat pancakes too. They really do not taste as good at other times. Sometimes when there is no school the next day, mom wakes me up in the middle of the night and we eat them."

"She introduced them to me as well. What do you say we have ramen Tokyo style?" Shouda agreed and he ordered their bowls and two drinks. When he turned back to Shouda, he was regarding Yuki solemnly.

"Yuki-san, you have always been very nice to me, so I am confused." His little brows knitted.

"About what, are you confused Shouda?"

"I don't understand why you left mom. I mean, she says she loved you and wanted to stay with you, but that you did not." Yuki hoped his face reflected a calmness he didn't feel. "I asked her why and she said it was for you to answer."

Yuki could not have been more floored. He was hoping to spend some quality time with his son. Time in which they could create happy memories, become better friends. However, Yuki was his father and Shouda, though eager, was foremost his mother's son. There was an accounting to be rendered. He could side step it with Sara because she was an adult, for how long he was not sure, but he could not with Shouda.

"Shouda, I cared for Sarua-san very much, but I had family obligations. Of course, if I had know about you, things would have been different."

"You mean responsibilities." Shouda nodded. "Sofu Shinohara says they are very important, but you had a responsibility to my mother. She loved you."

Yuki squirmed, "At the time I thought my responsibility to my family was greater." he looked down at his bowl of steaming ramen, "I am sorry Shouda." He felt a warm hand touch his shoulder.

"I understand...I think." Shouda turned to his own bowl and picking up his chopsticks twirled them in the noodles and lifted a big knot of them to his mouth. "Your mother is different."

Yuki turned to him in surprise, but Shouda only slurped the long stringy noodles into his mouth bit by bit, keeping them contained with his chopsticks.

"My mother?"

Shouda swallowed a cheek full of noodles. 

"She would have other things she wished for you to do and would be noisy until you did them." Yuki laughed and Shouda looked embarrassed. "I am sorry, was that mean?"

"No," Yuki laughed some more. "Perhaps a little disrespectful," he scolded playfully, "but not mean." He ruffled Shouda's hair. "It shows a great deal of insight."

"Please do not tell mom, but," he leaned closer and Yuki followed suit, "grandma Richards is a little like that too though not as bad."

They shared a conspiring laugh.

"Yuki-san?" 

They were walking through Dōtonbori looking in the touristy shops.

"Yes, Shouda."

"Do you mind if I call you dad."

Yuki put his arm around his son's shoulder.

"It would give me great pleasure for you to do so."

πππππππππππππππ

Sara eyed the numbers neatly written in the ledger. She really should be running the embossing machine. She had one hundred and fifty birthday invitations to finish. This reminded her she still had yet to finish the drawing for the embossing stamp she wanted to have made, not to mention the paper dye needed to be mixed and... What all this really meant was she hated doing bookkeeping or at least would rather be crafting.

She sighed.

"President, you have a visitor, M___-san."

Sara looked at her watch. She knew she had an appointment but she didn't recall it being M___-san. 

"Thank you. I will be there shortly." She did a double check in the mirror and left the clinic. 

M___-san was the principle lawyer in the firm which launched her into the public eye. He stood in her showroom with another man pointing to some of her displays. His companion definitely was not Japanese. He had a healthy physique and shaggy brown hair. She took a quick look at her appointment book at her assistant's desk. No, he wasn't her next appointment. She looked at her assistant who looked back and shook her head discreetly.

"M___-san, welcome." She gave a low bow. He returned it and introduced his associate.

"Richards-san, please allow me to introduce my colleague Kamir Dubashi. He is here from Mumbai, India." His cell phone began to ring. "You will excuse me while I take this." Both Sara and Kamir nodded.

"Do you speak Japanese?" Sara asked cautiously.

"Only enough to get by, but M___-san assures me you speak English very well." All of this he said in English, Sara switched over.

"Yes, I'm from America."

"Excellent." He extended his hand and she shook it. "I have been in Japan for three days and feel like Alice in Wonderland." 

"How long will you be here for?"

"I'm not sure. The company I represent has business with the company he represents so it depends on negotiations." He looked around at the showroom. "This is a nice shop you have here." 

"Thank you. If you don't mind me asking, how did a company from India and a company from Japan get together?" Sara took in his rather handsome appearance. 

"Mumbai is a sister city to Yokohama. The company I represent is broadening its reach."

M___-san joined them with many apologies. An appointment was made for lunch and they left.

***

The small sushi bar was more like a hole in the wall than a restaurant. It wasn't one of those large bars with the conveyer belt that rotated dishes in oblong, square or other form of polygon. It was an authentic sushi bar. Upon entering, there was a maître d' stand to the left, hooks to hang jackets and coats to the right along the wall, and a few steps in a semi-short bar with ten stools. All the ingredients sat in square tubs behind a protective plastic partition hooded by another flat piece of plastic. The pokerfaced cook stood behind the bar awaiting instructions.

A chain of signs mounted on the wall behind him informed the customer of all the delectable items he could serve over rice.

Yuki sat down with Sara beside him.

"This is an interesting place to figure out what we will do about Shouda." 

Yuki watched her take in the little place with a smile. He knew she liked things like this.

"This is the best sushi bar in Ōsaka, plus I called this morning and everything is fresh. We should share an Asahi as we used to?" 

Sara nodded her approval.

An older gentleman came and placed two small bowls into which he pour a little soy sauce, two short glasses into which he divided a bottle of Asahi beer and chopsticks. First Yuki ordered snapper. The cook arranged it on a square of shari and placed it atop the plastic hood. 

"Itadakimasu." They said together. They picked up their chopsticks, plucked the sushi from the hood, dipped it in soy sauce and took a bite. They tasted salmon, clam and eel before finally getting down to business.

"How will we proceed, Sara? I am unsure of what to do." Yuki finished his beer and ordered another.

Sara felt the ridiculous urge to run her fingers through his hair. A vulnerable Yuki was something she was not used to.

"Well, you could take him on the weekends, or if you want real experience at parenting, he could stay with you during the week. Though I'm not sure about him spending too much time with your mother." Frankly the idea terrified her. The last thing she needed was that overbearing woman confusing her son.

"I have thought of this too. I plan to stay at my flat. Obviously my mother and father will want to see Shouda. Perhaps we can restrict it to weekends. Shouda has expressed to me his feelings about my mother. I do not wish him to be uncomfortable."

Sara wondered what her son had disclosed, but was not sure Yuki would tell her if she inquired.

"He did not say anything unkind, did he?" She could venture this far.

"No, nothing, but it was not hard to understand this point. I do not blame him." He hesitated. "I know her ways, I have felt her oppressiveness and let it dominate me to my detriment. I will not subject Shouda to this. He is an open, happy carefree boy and I wish that he should remain so." Yuki looked at Sara. "You have done well despite me. Thank you."

Sara's emotions were bouncing silently around the room like a ping-pong ball. She had to look away, she did not want him to see. She felt a mixture of compassion, anger and relief. Annoyance, forgiveness and self-loathing. She was happy that he would do this for Shouda, even if he did the opposite regarding herself. But this wasn't about her, not anymore.

"You are welcome." She looked up at the cook and ordered omelette and shredded ginger. She picked up a few pieces with her chopsticks and shook them onto the sushi then pulled it of the hood. She felt his intense gaze.

"So, I would like him to help me prepare his room and if he will stay, perhaps we could begin the arrangement every other weekend."

"It is a good idea not to disrupt his routine too much while he is in school."

"Speaking of school," Yuki sighed. "Out of all my mother's requests, I have agreed to mention the Academy. Mother feels Shouda should attend."

"How do you feel Yuki?" Another round of beer was poured.

"I studied there as did my father and grandfather and his father. It is a family tradition. I have thought much about it and I would like him to enroll, but it must be something we both agree on."

Sara had to admit not knowing what to do in this case. Shouda was happy at his present school, but preferred to be with herself or the Shinoharas. It wasn't as if he had developed any important friendships yet. Also, she had to admit that Yuki's inflation of pride, as slight as it was, when he spoke, made her happy. If only things had turned out differently. 

She stilled. Then she might have Mrs. Umezawa for a mother-in-law.

"How much would it cost?" she needed to come back to reality. "Do you think his grades are high enough? Where is it located?"

"Yes, the cost is covered under my families donations. We will not have that to worry about. I think Shouda is a very intelligent young boy. He tells me his grades are good and I am confident he will rise to whatever academic challenge that is presented. The location is not far, and I can arrange to have a car pick him up if you wish." Her face must have registered her displeasure. "He can ride the subway as well."

"No, only, I take him to school and pick him up. My parents did the same with both me and my brother Ward."

"I understand. Then if he goes to the Academy, we shall do the same. I will arrange for you to take tour. We will go together so you can see for yourself." 

She could feel him doing it again, getting inside her head. Sara repeated to herself that this was for Shouda.

"I would like that."

He smiled.

"Very good." 

She tried not to observe him as he ordered octopus and wasabi for them.

Yuki tried not to wipe the stray rice from her bottom lip. He was a mixture of conflicting emotions, shame, happiness, fear and excitement. It had been so long since he sat comfortably with someone eating sushi and drinking beer. The bar was neither hip nor trendy and neither one cared.

They eased out of the bar into the crowed street.

"Yuki do you feel that? It is a feeling one can only experience in Japan."

He observed her form as she took in the people and signs, the hustle and bustle and the night sky.

"Overcrowding?" he arched his brows.

She laughed. "No. There are crowds in New York and crowds in Rome, people run around the streets of London and São Paulo." She stepped towards him. "Only Japan has this kind of noble energy, this mixture of confined freedom."

"You love Japan."

"I do."

Yuki caught her chin in his thumb and forefinger and leaned it. He really wasn't doing it on purpose. Even as he did, every bell, light and whistle in his head was telling him he shouldn't, he had no right. Sara was not his, he had a wife.

Sara was being totally stupid. She felt good and free, because of the beer most likely. They had drunk their fare share. Somehow it had made the situation more tolerable, or maybe less complicated was a better description. Now this.

The moment his lips touched hers she missed them. The moment she felt his nose rub against her cheek she remembered. She used to love these things. Eight years ago she would have cupped his face, forced his mouth open. 

Eight years ago...

Eight years ago he wasn't married, he was engaged. Engaged to Kaoru. He dumped her like she meant nothing. Never a call, never an apology, an explanation. She was totally stupid.

She pushed away from him her head and he body totally at war. He looked hurt and apologetic his lips glistening in the street lights.

"Yuki, no. How could you?" She backed away from him. "I will not, not again. You are married." She turned, all she could think about was running away. Putting as much distance between him and her as she could. She hurried past people as she heard him call her. She started to jog. Sara ran down into the subway and jumped on the first train she saw. She cared not where it was going, she just needed to get away.

This was about Shouda. For Shouda she would endure his presence and his family. For Shouda she would speak to him and work with him, for Shouda. Her feelings and emotions long repressed were to complicated, she rubbed her forehead.

Still, the lingering feeling of his lips moving against hers played the key, the key that released other memories. Wonderful memories of Yuki.

Matsushima had to be one of the most beautiful spots in Japan, though it never quite matched its artistic renditions. On the northern coast of Japan, Matsushima was a small town famous for its tuft of islands that dotted out into the sea. They were the subject of many drawings and paintings, even poetry.

"They are always drawn more dramatically than they look." Sara sat in a small fishing boat with Yuki behind her manipulating the ores.

"Ah....that is because....the beauty is more in the production.....than the....product. It is more the feeling....than the reality." Yuki huffed as he took a break from rowing.

Sara turned around and snickered, then straightened her face.

"You are right Yuki. The feeling of beauty and appreciation is evident in the drawings and matches ones feelings exactly when they look at the reality." He nodded. "You know, we could call the rental stand and have them send someone out to retrieve us Yuki." She leaned over and dipped her fingers in the sea. Yuki grunted. He had been trying to row them back to the shore for the last half hour. Sara had been trying to ignore the fact that they were going around in circles. "Are you sure you are rowing correctly?"

"Sarua, I should be able to get this little boat back to shore without difficulty." His voice was more calm than usual which meant he was irritated. 

She stood, stepped over to him and sat down. "Yes, Yuki." Taking his face in her palms, she kissed his lips, then his cheek, then his neck at his jaw.

He pulled out his cell phone.

A half hour later and they were being pulled to shore by men rowing two similar boats to their own. Yuki sat hunched over with Sara hugging him from behind.

"Thank you for bringing me here." She whispered in his ear.

He sighed and she smiled.

Sara began to cry silent tears. Yuki was a bastard!

πππππππππππππππ

Sara put a piece of foam in the bottom of the medium size decorative paper bag and placed a fiftieth anniversary scrapbook and matching guestbook side by side over it. The clients had loved what she did with their keepsakes, photos and whatnots in the album. It was to be displayed at the anniversary party along with the guestbook. She gently pressed tissue between the two items and closed the top of the paper bag with sticker of a soft fluttering yellow butterfly. She walked out of the clinic and opened the panel to Kamir milling about the showroom. They smiled to each other and she lifted her hand before stepping into her office.

Many bows were exchanged as the satisfied clients took the bag and she gently guided them to her assistant who discreetly reminded them of the remaining balance on the purchase. Sara approached Kamir.

"Hello." She bowed slightly as her clients left. 

"They look very happy."

"I believe I can say that they were." She looked at him quizzically.

"You're wondering why I am here."

"Yes." She smiled.

"Lunch."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Lunch. I seriously don't think I can sit through another lunch in Japanese." He put his hands together and his head wobbled slightly. "Please help me."

Sara laughed, "They let you go out alone?"

"I told them I had plans and I did. I had plans to come here and beg you to have lunch with me."

She had eaten lunch together with M__-san and Kamir as planned, an interesting experience with her playing quasi-interpreter. He was a happy fellow, very considerate and open. Nothing like Yuki.

"Okay, let me check." She walked over to her assistant and checked her appointment book. She was open. Great. She needed a distraction. Yuki had called to apologize for the other night and they had toured the Academy. Both situations very tense. She found suppressing her feelings of hurt and betrayal harder each time they spoke. This upset her because she desperately wanted an amicable working relationship with him, for Shouda's sake. That was why she was jumping at this opportunity. She needed balance.

"Are you serious?" Kamir turned in a circle. The ramen-ya reminded him quite a bit of some places back in India, only everything was Japanese. It was small crowded together and warm. There were two or three tables in the middle and a bar that wrapped against the outer walls. Sara sat a table.

"You haven't been to a ramen-ya yet?"

He sat down and looked at the woman across from him with a smile.

"Just wasn't what I was expecting."

She looked startled.

"Would you like to go somewhere else?"

"No, this is great, fantastic. What do we eat?" He shrugged out of his suit jacket and placed it over the back of his chair.

"Ramen noodles. You can get them thick or thin in miso, which is a fish paste," his brows lowered, "but its soupy. In a pork or chicken stock with mushrooms, egg, cabbage, tofu, pork slice and nori, that's seaweed."

"I take it they don't have goat."

"What?" She laughed. He liked it.

"Or lamb?"

"No lamb, nor batata vada, nor naan, which is absolutely to dye for by the way."

"Ah, you know Indian cuisine?"

"A very little, I accompanied my younger brother Ward there once. He is a international model." She ordered for them both at his request.

Kamir leaned forward, "Tell me your favorite part of India." He watched her screw her lips up and lower her brow in thought. She was too adorable for words. He had learned from the Japanese firm he was currently dealing with, that she had appeared at their door when they were in dire need of help. She had recently started her business in Ōsaka and was showing some samples to garner clients. They had been impressed with her. One, because she spoke Japanese very well for a foreigner. Two, because she carried herself with dignity and grace. Three, because her samples were excellent and four, because they were in dire need. Sitting across from her, he had to agree that she was very unique.

"The tea gardens in Munnar and cruising the Kumarakom Backwaters. Though the Himalayas are nothing to baulk at."

"How long were you there?"

"A week or so. He had several shoots and we took some extra time to sightsee."

"I'm impressed."

"You shouldn't be, I initially had no desire to go. My parents wouldn't let my brother go alone and neither one could manage it, so I went. It was a good opportunity for him. I couldn't deny him and it turned out to be an amazing trip." The two bowls were brought out and placed before them. 

Kamir picked up his chopsticks and fumbled around with them. Sara laughing made him raise his head.

"Here, let me help you." She rearranged the thin strips of wood in his fingers. "Put the bottom one in the cradle of your thumb, like this and grab the top between your pointer and middle finger and your thumb." She held his wrist. "Now, move your top two finger up and down."

He followed her instructions clumsily, but noticed an instant improvement.

"You're a good teacher."

"My son, I have plenty of practice." She let go of his hand and began moving her own in her ramen bowl.

It dawned on him there was a lot he didn't know about Sara.

"What do you say, after this, lets ride in a rickshaw? I want to see how they compare to the those in Mumbai."

"Hummm?" Sara looked at him round eyed with a mouth full of noodles.