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The bright lights were first and they stung his eyes. The stench was what hit him second. 

    “Nakamura? Are you in there?” Groaning softly, he lifted up from the floor. 

    “Yeah… I’ll be out in just a minute.” Letting his eyes find the ground, he felt his stomach knot up. He’d done it again. This time was worst than the last. Lifting fingers to the sink above him, he pulled himself up on shaky legs and ignored the deathly sight he was sure had come over him. Turning on the faucet he began to wash his face, the thick coagulated vomit that once covered it struggling to go down. Once it was all off, he finally lifted his eyes to the mirror. The saving grace was that he’d leaned over the toilet in such a way that it hadn’t stained his uniform shirt. He had gotten good at that. Real good. Lifting wet hands, he sifted them through his dark strands and rinsed out his mouth. This would have to do until he got home. 

    “Nakamura, come on! I have to piss!”  He went to the door and unlocked it. Slipping hands into his pockets, he watched as the boy came into the bathroom, eager to empty his bladder. 

    “Thank God. Move..move move move.” Watching him yank his pants down, he tightened his jaw, eyes finding his empty stall. 

    “Didja hear the news?” 

    “What news?” His voice sounded bland even to him, void and empty.

    “Iwase’s got a new bitch to fuck.” 

    “Oh.” His eyes hadn’t left the stall door. They burned holes into the thick metal. 

    “It’s not just any bitch. It’s Kuribahara Emi.” 

    “Is it?” 

    “Yeah. That son of a bitch is so lucky. She’s fucking gorgeous.” He offered no reply. 

    “I don’t know how you stay his friend. I’d be jealous of him. He gets all the best pussy.” The sound of a zipper seemed to echo in the otherwise silent bathroom and the boy came to stand in front of the sink. 

    “Nakamura-” Turning, he found the bathroom empty. 


    It was like he didn’t have an identity of his own and it pissed him the fuck off. Let these bastards tell it, he was nobody. He was nothing but an insignificant blob that seemed to taint his presence. It surprised him that they even bothered to address him by his name at all. When they saw him, all they saw was ‘Iwase Hiroto’s friend’. Nothing less, nothing more. But, he was much more than that. So much more. Gripping the inside of his pockets, he grit his teeth as he drifted through the halls, pushing past the multitude of bodies. 

     These so called innocent girls were nothing but dick hungry liars. And they all wanted one in particular and thought they’d use him to get at it. They didn’t seem to understand that Hiroto was trying to live in his own truth, not that of his parents. Being the most coveted teenager in society came with a price and it was too heavy for him to carry on his own. Setting eyes up ahead on the subject of his thoughts, he tried to form his lips into a smile, one he didn’t feel was in-genuine. Iwase Hiroto, 16 years old and from one of the most influential families in Japan was his best friend. Had been since they were in preschool. But to him, he was just Hiroto-kun. He was his reason to keep coming to this damn joke of a school. His reason to keep on liv-

    “Tobu, where were you?” He smiled brightly. 

    “Were you worried?”

    “You missed lunch again.” Actually he didn’t. He’d been in an empty classroom stuffing his face, making sure his stomach was full. Full for the bathroom later. He lifted his hand to rustle his hair in a sheepish manner. 


    “Stop doing that.” Hiroto all but ordered him, a disapproving look on his face. 

    “I’ll eat later Hiroto-kun.” His friend sighed heavily and concern replaced the irritation that had consumed his face. Yes, around him, he allowed his mask to drop and the emotionless flesh he clothed himself with melted away. But he had to be careful. He couldn’t be so reckless. There was after all only one of them who could afford it. 

    “You’re growing thin Tobu. You’re starting to look sick.”

    “Nonsense.” He brushed off the statement even though he knew it was true. He’d go so far as to agree with him. He’d seen what his body looked like. Sometimes, he stared at it for hours in the mirror after showers. Where his arms had once held muscle now they resembled thin twigs, formless and fragile. His stomach still held a six pack but it looked out of place with his lanky form skinny and delicate. He could count each rib that jutted out of his skin and it reminded him of a birdcage. 

    “Promise you’ll eat when you go home Tobu.”

    “I promise.” 


    “Tobu?” Opening his eyes, he glanced down into large brown eyes. Taking a deep breath, he licked his lips and gave a small smile. 

    “Morning baby girl.” The woman lifted up to kiss him, pressing her smooth brown body against his. 

    “Mornin’ Daddy…” He nipped her bottom lip before she pulled away. 

    “You was turning and tossin in your sleep again.” She said, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. 

    “Was I?” He reached out to tangle his fingers in her hair, pulling her head back. She inhaled deeply as he came behind her and leaned down to press a kiss to her neck. 

    “Somethin botherin you?”

    “Nothing to worry about sweetheart.” 

    “Sure?” He let her hair go and wrapped arms around her. 

    “I’m sure.” She hummed as he gently squeezed her breast. 

    “You gon make me late for work.”

    “Good. I don’t want you to go anyway.”

    “Unlike you, I have to work.” He let her go and watched as she disappeared into her bathroom. Sighing, he cursed underneath his breath and lifted an arm to cover his face. That’s right. He wasn’t that kid anymore. No, he was now 28 years old and in New York on a vacation. Well, it started out as a business trip but somehow he’d stumbled upon the pretty little thing currently in the bathroom and it quickly turned into a vacation of sorts and he wasn’t complaining. He knew it had to come to an end though. He couldn’t let her get her feelings attached. Pulling the sheets away from him, he stood and slowly began to search for his clothes. She’d thrown them all over the place in her haste to get them off of him last night. His boxers were the first thing he found and he slipped them on. His pants he found a little ways away and the door opened just as he had them zipped. 

    “You leavin?” She’d emerged in a pink bra and lacy pink panties. Despite the jolt of blood that shot between his legs, he leaned down to grab his shirt. 

    “Yeah. I should go too.” She watched him button his shirt and chewed her lips, bruised and red from his kisses. 

    “You gon stop by later on?” The throbbing against his thighs said yes but his mouth said, 


    “No?” He could hear the hurt in her voice. Fuck. She’d done exactly as he’d feared. Coming to her, he lifted her face in his hands. 

    “Look, after a little while I’m not going to be what you want. I’m going to fade from your mind and you’ll move on.”

    “What does that mean?”

    “Exactly what it sounds like.” Letting her cheeks go, he sighed. 

    “We’re both grown ass people who knew what we were getting into. It wasn’t supposed to go beyond this Kay. You know that and I know that.” He slipped hands inside his pockets. 

    “You were curious about being with an Asian man for the first time and now you’ve got your curiosity fulfilled.”

    “Yeah and what about you? Finally got to fuck your first black chick?” He almost laughed in her face. She was not the first and most definitely wouldn’t be the last. Besides, his sleeping with her wasn’t based on her being a Black woman.

    “I was very clear on my intentions with you before we got into this Kayla. You know damn well it was not a race thing.”

    “You can’t just lay life changing dick on me and then leave. It’s not fair Tobu.” He pushed fingers through his hair, lifting the strands back from his eyes. 

    “Life’s not fair sweetheart. Don’t make me be an asshole this morning. Let’s just part ways okay? You got what you wanted and so did I. Alright?” She didn’t say anything as he started to walk past her but when she did speak, he grew still. 

    “Every time I try to get closer to you, you push me away. Please….just…just let yourself feel somethin real for once.” Tightening his jaw, he gripped his fingers into fists and continued his exit until he sat in his car, door slammed shut. 

    No. He couldn’t let a woman back in. He wouldn’t. The last time he’d done that she’d fucked him over. She’d played with his heart and tried to use him to get at Hiroto. He hadn’t been vocal about it but it had fucked him up for a long fucking time. He promised himself that he wouldn’t ever be vulnerable like that again with someone so undeserving. The only woman he trusted to be open with was his long time friend and sister Rae Marshall. He’d long since given up the childish crush he had on her because he knew he couldn’t ever make her happy the same way Hiroto did and that was perfectly fucking fine. She was the first person outside of Hiroto to make him feel like he was valid. Like he was a human being. Like he was cared for and appreciated. She’d stay the only one. 

    Turning the key into the ignition, he started the car and pulled out of the driveway. Reaching into the drink holder, he pulled out a cigarette and waited until he got to a red light to light it. She’d also been the first Black girl he’d ever seen in person and from then on you could say he had developed a type. A type he couldn’t find in Japan. He wasn’t a playboy or a womanizer by any means and was damn proud of that fact. With everything that had happened to Rae, he made sure to never be like the men who had treated her like shit. Too busy most times, he didn’t sleep around all that often. But when the opportunity presented itself, he put it down. End of story. Exhaling the smoke from his lungs, he groaned as he felt a headache start to form right between his eyes. He needed to eat and sleep this damn hangover off. Jumping onto the freeway, he hightailed it back to his condo, ready for a shower and the silk sheets that awaited him. 

Chapter End Notes:

A/N: Hey beauties! With Transcendence so close to being finished, I decided to add an intro to Tobu if you will! I have decided to change his visual (SADLY) only because there aren't enough pictures and gifs of Yuzu-kun in photoshoots and such that fit my visual for Tobukins. Most of them understandably so are of him skating. So I can't really use that because it doesn't fit into the story. So... *long sad sigh* while Hanyu Yuzuru will ALWAYS AND FOREVER BE MY NAKAMURA TOBU, I'm updating his visual to the handsome Yokohama Ryusei. He aesthetically fits Tobu both in appearance, body and in character.  Plus I have a lot of room to work with as far as gifs, videos, etc. 

I hope you like the intro! <3


Yokohama Ryusei as Nakamura Tobu:

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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.