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IT'S ALRIGHT TO CRY

"Rhett!"

Explosions went off sending dirt and sand flying in all directions and Marshall was running around frantically looking for his friend.

"Marshall over here!"

Rhett was running towards him relief washed over Marshall but it was short lived

"RHETT NO!"

BOOM!

Marshall quickly jerked up from his sleep. His heart was racing, his chest and face dripped from sweat as if it were a hot summer's evening instead of a chilly late fall. Wiping his forehead with the back of his hand he looked over at the clock on his bed stand.

It was six in the morning and the sun would be up in less than two hours so Marshall knew he wouldn't be getting much sleep at this point. It was always the same dream. It was always the same nightmare.

Picking up his phone Marshall saw that he had gotten several text messages and missed calls from Jenna. She just couldn't see that their relationship was just physical and nothing else and whatever type of relationship that they had prior was gone.

Besides it wasn't as if Jenna wasn't fucking other guys, which is why Marshall always wore a condom with her. He didn't need an STD or play the "but you're the father I just know it game" if she happened to get pregnant game. Marshall didn't understand why she was so damn attached to him.

Marshall peered over at the calendar on his closet door. November 11th it was Veteran's Day and ironically enough it marked six months since Rhett had been killed in the line of duty back in May.

A few tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. Damn he missed Rhett so much and it was all his fault. Maybe he shouldn't have called out to him if he hadn't perhaps he would still be here. Perhaps he would still be here.

Marshall quickly wiped his eyes and was conflicted.

His mother Helen God rest her soul always used to hug him close as a little boy if he started to cry and soothed him.

"Jake sweetie it's alright to cry"

"But Daddy said boys aren't supposed to cry" he'd managed to say between sobs

"Jacob don't listen to your father there are grown men that cry and I don't want you to ever feel ashamed about that"

Fuck that bastard Gordon Marshall the man was only his father by biological definition. Marshall didn't given a fuck that death took him but why did it have to take the people he loved the most.

His mother and Rhett should still be here it wasn't fair then again life wasn't fair so he really wasn't all that surprised.

Marshall got up from bed to go into the kitchen to see if he could scrap up something for breakfast but was frustrated to find he had very little breakfast food. Even his Frosted Flakes were almost gone maybe Nicolette was right. It was time for him to go food shopping.

The phone rang again and Marshall had it up to here and he finally picked up the phone.

"What do you want Jenna?"

"Marshall?"

Shit it was Rhett's wife well widowed wife now Kendra Stone

"Oh Kendra I'm sorry" he quickly apologized "I thought you were someone else"

"No that's fine is this a bad time for you it's still very early"

"No you're fine I was just getting up anyway"

"I was just calling to wish you a Happy Veteran's Day"

"Thanks Kendra it's much appreciated" Marshall said feeling a little guilty now

"Is everything okay?" she asked "you haven't been returning my calls I haven't seen you since the funeral"

"I'm fine Kendra" he lied

"Are you sure?"

"Yes the better question is how are you and girls doing?"

"Grace is eight so she understands that her daddy's in heaven but Penelope just turned two so she keeps asking when he's coming home"

"And you're due pretty soon?"

"November 30th which is also Rhett's birthday" Kendra confirmed "it's a boy this time you know he always wanted a son"

"Right" Marshall replied recalling how happy Rhett was when he told him the gender.

Rhett loved his daughters very much anyone could see that but he was really looking forward to having a son and Marshall teased him back saying that he finally "putting the stem on the apple" this time.

However because of him Rhett would never get to hold his little boy.

"I appreciate the car seat you sent me Marshall I really do" Kendra said "aside from clothes and toys I was going to re use most of the things that girls had as babies anyway"

"You're welcome"

"Also you're more than welcome to come over our place for Thanksgiving dinner that is of course if I haven't gone into labor yet"

"I'll think about it"

"Marshall there's something I haven't told you," she said a little softly now "I'm not sure how you're going to take this though"

"What is it Kendra?"

Kendra sighed "You how close you and Rhett were before you two got called overseas back in April we were already discussing baby names"

"You see Rhett wanted to name the baby after you and call him J.J. for short and wanted you to be his godfather"

Marshall was shocked to hear this and didn't know what to say it was a lot to take in considering Rhett never told him that. Hopefully it would just be Jacob Joseph Stone and not Jacob Joseph-Gordon Stone he would hate for the little boy to have to carry the name of his deadbeat father as well.

Hell Marshall was still trying to research how he could drop his second middle name legally himself. As far as being the child's godfather Marshall just didn't believe he'd be a good candidate for that. What the hell was he supposed to tell the kid when he eventually got old enough to ask about Rhett?

"Marshall?"

"I'm still here"

"You can think about it and you'll have time after he's born too" Kendra insisted "we didn't baptize the girls until they were each six months old so we'll be doing that next May anyway"

"Actually yes I would need time to think about it"

"Take all the time you need"

"Kendra he'll be your son just as well as Rhett's are you sure you want to name him after me?" Marshall asked "Jacob's kind of a dated name there will be little boys his age with the names like Aiden, Noah, and Liam he'll stick out like a sore thumb"

"Oh Marshall stop" Kendra chuckled "Jacob's a fine name and it's what Rhett wanted and I want to respect my husbands wishes even though he's not with us anymore"

"Yeah"

The two of them were silent for a minute until Marshall heard little Penelope in the background asking if her mommy was talking to "Dada" and it tore at his heart.

"Marshall I have to go make breakfast for the girls talk to you soon?"

"Sure"

"You take care then"

"I will you do the same"

Click.

 

Nicolette arrived back at his house three hours later around nine with more groceries than she had yesterday. This time she filled his whole fridge, freezer, and cabinets to the brim.

"I'm guessing you didn't eat breakfast yet," she said, "I'll make some French Toast then I brought some fresh fruit and cream cheese to stuff it with"

"Sounds good" Marshall said although looking at her right now he wanted to stuff her up real good, fill her up with his cream and make her body cream. Nicolette was fucking killing him.

"In the mean time I found some therapists that you may be interested in seeing" she said placing her laptop in front of him "take a look and we'll make an appointment"

"I'm not crazy Nikki" Marshall said "I just want to be left alone it's not like I can bring Rhett back so what's the point?"

"Jake I know you're not crazy and trust me none of these therapists will think you are either" she insisted as she began to mix the batter for the French toast "I think Rhett would have wanted you to get help"

"Rhett would have wanted to meet his son who is due to arrive any day now but he won't now will he?"

"Kendra's pregnant?"

"Nine months"

"I talked to her this morning before you got here" Marshall said noting the look of confusion on Nicolette's face "she told me Rhett wanted to name the baby after me and to be his godfather"

"Oh Jacob that's wonderful news"

"Is it though?" Marshall said not optimistic at all "if Rhett knew that I would be responsible for his death I'm pretty sure this would be a different story"

"You know I think you'll be able to make a big difference in this little boy's life"

"I'm not his father" he said, "I never will be"

"If Kendra wants you to be in her son's life it is saying a lot Jake don't take that for granted"

"Well hopefully the kid looks like Kendra like the girls do I don't think I'd be able to handle it if he looks like Rhett"

"Well I think stepping up to the plate for him would be very big of you Jacob" Nicolette said pouring the batter into the slices of bread "it might even help you come to terms with Rhett's death"

"Oh so I don't need a therapist then"

"No you're still seeing a therapist" Nicolette insisted "you're not getting off the hook that easy"

"You want bacon or sausage?"

Marshall wouldn't mind giving her some of his sausage and he smirked "I'll take bacon"

"It's a nice day today" Nicolette went on to say as she put a few slices in the frying pan "70 degrees is pretty warm for the second week of November do you want to go sit in the park or something?"

"I don't know" Marshall said, "I don't really want to go anywhere"

"Jake I think you should get out the house it's not good for you to be cooped up in here by yourself and no your sexcapades with Jenna don't count"

"You're not letting that one go are you? Sex is healthy for you Nikki"

"I bet it is" she smirked at him

"Actually now that you mention it there is somewhere I should go"

 

After breakfast about an hour later Nicolette sat on the passenger's side as she watched Marshall drive and she was holding the bouquet of flowers he brought. She had a pretty good idea where they were going but didn't want to upset him by asking.

"I haven't been to see him in six months" Marshall said reading her mind "it's Veteran's Day so I guess it's fitting funny thing is Rhett fucking hated flowers"

Nicolette smiled underneath all the hard and sarcastic exterior Marshall was a sensitive and caring man.

"I'm sure he'll appreciate the gesture"

"Yeah I guess" Marshall said, "he had to be cremated since he was literally blown to pieces his ashes are buried under the cemetery's oak tree it's what Kendra wanted"

"That sounds peaceful"

"After the way he died he deserves a peaceful resting place"

Pulling up into the cemetery's parking lot there were many other families to pay their respects as well.

As they made their way to Rhett's resting place Marshall stole a few glances over at Nicolette.

She was wearing a light blue sweater with light gray jeans. The sun made her skin glow and shine. The bridge of her nose and the tops of her cheeks seemed to smile when she smiled. Her brown eyes so open, trusting, and loving. God he had forgotten how beautiful she was.

"Do you want me to hold your hand Jake?" she asked as she caught him admiring her

"If you don't mind" Marshall muttered and his heart skipped a little as she slipped her little hand in his much larger one

The oak tree where Rhett was buried at was gorgeous, strong, and majestic. The light breeze went through the branches gently tickling the red, orange, and yellow leaves.

Nicolette placed the bouquet of flowers at the base of the tree and the wind blew a little more and Marshall chuckled sensing Rhett's presence within the wind.

"Yeah, yeah buddy I know you don't like the flowers what did you want me to send some a box of Corona?"

Nicolette giggled too "I'm not sure the cemetery would allow that one"

The two of them stood in silence for a few minutes the only things they could hear was the soft wind, leaves, and the murmurs of other families visiting their Veteran loved ones.

Tears rolled down Marshall's face now and Nicolette gently squeezed his hand. No words needed to be said the two of them just enjoyed each other. They spent about an hour with Rhett and as they turned to leave Marshall broke the silence.

"I'm not really sure if I want to go back overseas but I'm not sure what else I can do I've been in the military since I was eighteen and now I'm thirty I don't have anything to fall back on" he said "hell Rhett didn't even get to see thirty"

"Jacob don't talk that way" Nicolette said "I mean if you still love the military I'm sure you can find a different position then being on the front line if not there's nothing wrong with taking your career in a different direction"

"I guess I really should see a therapist then"

"I want you to get better Marshall I don't like seeing you this way I li-I care about you"

Marshall stopped walking and turned to look at her and noticed she was blushing now and giving him a little smile.

He was amused by her bashfulness now since she was pretty much taking charge earlier. Her confession was something he never heard Jenna say that's for sure.

"I haven't had anyone say that to me in a long time"

"It's true" she whispered her old feelings rekindled.

 

 












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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.