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The search for Todd's son take some unexpected turns and impacts so many people.




Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


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All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 

The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots

 

 

 

Chapter 12    If at first You don’t Succeed

 

 

“Todd I can help you in your search for your son.  I know my way around Chicago.  Let me come with you.”

 

“No Evangeline it is too dangerous.  I don’t know what awaits me there and I will not have you jeopardize your career again for me.  Now I have to leave.  I will contact you when I return.”

 

“I don’t like it Todd but if you don’t want me to come I won’t add any more to your worry. Bye.”

 

We hug and he leaves and I stand here disappointed that he doesn’t want me to help him.  Big-mouthed Layla had to add her ‘no’ cents to the conversation and then the death certificate clenched him not wanting me to go with him.  So let me unpack my bag because I’m not going anywhere but before I can pick up my bag to head to my bedroom I hear a knock at my door.  Maybe it’s Todd and he’s changed his mind.  Slinging open the door hoping to see Todd but instead here stands John McBain.

 

“John what are you doing here?  What do you want?”

 

“Are you going somewhere?”

 

“What I do and where I go is none of your business so why are you here?”

 

“I just want to talk with you.  Do you have a minute?”

 

“A minute is all that you have so start talking.”

 

“I want another chance with you.”

 

“Are you drunk?”

 

“No I am not drunk.  I want another chance with you Evangeline.”

 

“Oh I get it now, you’re on the outs with Natalie and you think that you can come to me as your rebound girl.  You have some nerve.  We ended over two years ago John and there is no going back.”

 

“No I’m not on the outs with Natalie and no I don’t want to go back I want to go forward. The only time that I have really been happy since Caitlin died is when I was with you.  I want that back.  I want to feel that again.”

 

“I can’t help you John.  I’ve moved on from you just as you so quickly moved on from me.  Let’s not have this conversation again.  Now your minute is up and I have things to do so if you will excuse me and leave so that I can do those things I would appreciate it.”

 

“What can I do to change your mind? Is there anything that I can do?”

 

“NO!”

 

“Okay I have your answer.  So when are you leaving for your trip?”

 

“It looks like I’m not leaving.  I planned to go with Todd to find his son but he left without me.”

 

“What if I go with you and help you to help Todd will that prove to you that I am serious about having another chance with you?”

 

“John you don’t even like Todd so why would you do that?”

 

“Because you want to help him and I want to do something for and with you.”

 

“But don’t you have to work? You’ll take time off from work to go with me to Chicago? You never take time off from work.”

 

“I will now if you let me go with you.”

 

“John you couldn’t stay away from your job long enough to have an uninterrupted conversation with me when we were together so I don’t believe that you will take time off to go with me.”

 

Just as John is about to respond his phone rings and I look at him and smirk waiting for him to answer the call.  To my surprise he turns off his phone.

 

“Why did you do that John?  It might have been important.”

 

“Nothing is more important than this conversation with you.  So may I go to Chicago with you?  Give me thirty minutes and I will meet you back here and we can go to the airport.”

 

“I don’t believe you John.  I will leave here in thirty minutes without you. Bye.”

 

John hurries to his apartment, packs, and returns to Evangeline’s apartment in twenty-five minutes.

 

“Are you ready to leave?”

 

“Color me surprised that you made it back in time.  Well let’s go.”

 

We make it to the airport and to Chicago.  We meet up with Todd and it is no surprise to me that Blair hitched a ride on her broomstick to be in Chicago also.  John does prove helpful in getting information at the police station and suggesting that perhaps the child was placed in foster care.  Using his police credentials he found the agency that handled the child’s care and adoption placement.  To our bewilderment the child is in Llanview right under our noses.  Todd, to say the least, is furious.  Blair and I try to calm him down and John is just as confused about this revelation.

 

We four return to Llanview prepared to confront those responsible for this mess and to get Todd his son.  Before Todd can cause injury to the person who has his son I get a court order for blood tests and to place the child in foster care until paternity is legally established and Todd can claim his parental rights.  Todd demands that John not handle this case and to my surprise he does not object to Todd’s request.  

 

The social services worker, a police officer and I arrive at the residence to collect the child and take him for testing and then placement in foster care until the court decides the case.  The police officer takes the lead so that when the door opens the house resident sees the police officer first.

 

“Dr. Michael McBain this court order demands that you relinquish custody of the child ‘Tommy McBain’ to this social service worker until paternity is determined for the child.  Failure to comply will result in your arrest.”

 

“Michael what is happening, why do they want Tommy?  Why is Evangeline here?”

 

“Mrs. McBain we must take the child now.  Please do not interfere.”

 

“Evangeline what is this about?  Why are you here?”

 

“Marcie I am here representing my client.  That is all that I can say.  Please relinquish the child to the social service worker.  The court will decide the rest.”

 

“I don’t understand but I will do it.  I don’t want to commit any crime.”

 

The social service worker takes the child and returns to her car. The police officer and I return to our respective cars and he heads back to the police station and I head to the hospital.  The blood tests to determine paternity will take place now at the hospital.  Margaret Cochran’s DNA is on file from the time that she was in the hospital after Todd’s execution.

 

After a few hours we obtain the paternity results and the judge holds an emergency session to resolve this matter.  He does not want to delay his ruling.  Upon determination that Todd is the biological father of the child and he never renounced his parental rights the judge orders that Todd is the legal father and has all rights to the child.  The judge orders that social services release the child to his father, Todd Manning.  Todd takes the child with him to his home.  He knows that this won’t be easy because the child has spent so much time with the McBains but Todd will make the best of this situation. He now has his son and that is all that matters.  Todd Manning of old would have been out for blood that is no longer the way that he handles things.  The McBains losing ‘their son’ is pain enough.  Todd knows the pain of not knowing if his son was dead or alive and now the McBains have the pain of knowing that ‘their son’ is alive but no longer their son.

 

Tired and wanting a shower and something to eat I make it back to my apartment.  After the shower and dinner I sit down with a good book.  Knock, knock.  Now who is at my door?  

 

“Who is it?”

 

“Evangeline it’s John may I come in?”

 

Opening the door I am not prepared for what I see. John looks like he has lost his best friend.  He looks haggard and tired.

 

“John what’s wrong?  Did you talk to Michael and Marcie?  Is that why you look so bad?”

 

“Yes I talked with them Evangeline and I can’t for the life of me understand why Michael did this.”

 

“What did he say?  Oh come in, we don’t need to have this conversation in the hallway.”

 

“He said the craziest thing but it sounded like he believed what he was saying and some way or another he thought that justified what he did.”

 

“So how did he explain what he did as if there is an explanation for doing such a thing.”

 

“He said that he found out that Tommy was Todd’s son but he thought that Tommy would have a better life with him and Marcie.  After all the bad that Todd has done he didn’t deserve to have Tommy.  Todd never did anything bad to Tommy. Margaret Cochran forced Todd to create Tommy.  Didn’t he suffer enough from that and add to it that the man was unjustly tried, convicted and executed for killing Margaret and Tommy.  He has every right to his son.  How could Michael live that lie?”

 

I just stand there and look at him.  In a way I feel sorry for him for knowing that his brother could do something so cruel but I also remember that John himself did something similar.  No he did not keep a child from his parent but he did keep a man locked in prison without everyone knowing all of the facts.  My lack of response causes him to look at me and the look in his eyes let’s me know that he knows what I am thinking.

 

“I did a similar thing to Christian Vega so how can I condemn Michael for his error in judgment.  We are screwed up aren’t we?”

 

Again I make no reply for my answer to that comment will only exacerbate the situation because yes I think that they are both self-righteous and selfish in what they did.

 

“After talking with Michael I’ve decided that I have to make a change in my life.  I think that what I did with Christian may have allowed Michael to think that what he did was right and in a way that’s what he told me.  I can’t ruin my brother’s life the way that I have ruined mine so I’m going to counseling.  Dr. Crosby has agreed to take me on after work hours for sessions every day.  He’s says that it will take some time to work through all of my ‘issues’ but as long as I remain serious about changing then it will happen.”

 

“That’s good John, I hope the best for you.”

 

“You say that like you don’t expect to see me again.  I still plan to pursue you but not until I am better so the reason that I came by is to tell you that you won’t see me for some time because other than work I will be in sessions with Dr. Crosby, except weekends of course. But even with the weekends I won’t approach you until I am better.  Will you wait for me?”

 

“No.”

 

“Okay that’s only fair.  Will you give me a chance when I’m better.”

 

“I don’t know what the future holds John so I can’t answer that but I will not wait for you to get better.  I hope that you have a good life and work through all of your pain and confusion that has held you captive for so many years.  I’m not interested in any romantic relationships and neither am I in to bed hopping.  There are some changes that I too must change and so I will concentrate on those things.  Plus I am helping Todd get things in order for his care of his son.  I’m not providing the care just so you know but I am putting him in contact with agencies that can provide the services that he and the child may need.”

 

“What about Blair, she’s a mother, can’t she take care of the boy?”

 

“Todd has finally come to his senses about Blair and will not have her as a part of his son’s life.  For reasons that I’m not at liberty to divulge Todd wants to make a change and Blair is not part of that change.  He will share custody with her of Starr and Jack but Sam, that’s what he named his son; will be in the sole custody of Todd.  So with my job and helping Todd my hands are full.”

 

“Well although you said no to waiting for me you did not say no to giving me a chance when I’m better so I will take that as a ‘maybe’.  I won’t give up on us Evangeline.  I did that once before and it was the worst thing that I have ever done in my life.”

 

“Good night John I am really tired and need my rest.”

 

“Good night Evangeline.”

 

He leaves and I return to my book for a few hours and then head to bed.  If he had put as much thought into us when we were together as he is doing now we might still be together but he didn’t and we are not.  Let me go to sleep and forget about this.

 

---------------------------------------  

 

Months later Todd, Sam, Starr and Jack are making themselves a family.  Blair still tries to insinuate herself in Todd’s life but he holds fast to his resolve and that annoys her.  She even had the nerve to accuse me of influencing Todd to keep her out of his life.  Why would I do that I asked her.  She said so that I could have Todd for myself.  I said to her that I had not thought of pursuing Todd but since she mentioned it maybe that’s a possibility.  She was none too happy.  I will not pursue Todd.  We are friends and that is all.  I’d rather have his friendship than anything else.  Friendship with him is more precious to me than trying to be his lover.  

 

The thing that Todd told me some time ago about why he stayed with Blair and why he now has to stay away from Blair was very illuminating.  Todd saw himself as worthless.  For all of his braggadocio he thought that since he was a rapist that no decent woman would want him and since Blair seemed to want him he thought that she was his only option.  But when he and I were on the cusp of having a romantic relationship he realized that he was worth so much more than he ever gave himself credit for because if I could love him then that meant that he was worth something.  My friend is worth so much to me and I try to show him that every day and to boost his morale and confidence.  So if he wants to eliminate Blair from his daily life then I will help him all that I can.

 

During these months, true to his word I do not see John but each day he sends notes to me telling me about his day and how things progress with his therapy.  Also once a week I receive a present from him like flowers, candies and even jewelry.  Last week he sent to me a very pretty charm bracelet with two charms on it, one a scale of justice and the other a police badge.  My work and Todd keep me extra busy so I really don’t have much time to think about much of anything.  

 

This weekend is all for me.  Let me go for my run in the park that should perk up my spirits. At the end of my five-mile run I stop to rest on a park bench and up walks John or should I say up runs John. All of the time that I have known John I have never seen him out running.  Yes I’ve seen him in the health club and I know that he goes to Rourke’s boxing gym but I have never seen him out actually jogging or running. He sees me and stops.

 

“Hello Evangeline are you finished running or are you just taking a rest?”

 

“No I’m finished.  When did you start running John, is this something new?”

 

“Fairly new but I started a few months ago.  I figured that I needed to add to my fitness regimen and running is good for the body.  I like it.  It’s relaxing and sometimes I think while I run and other times I don’t and I find that invigorating.  So if you are finished would you care to have lunch with me I’m finished too?”

 

“I don’t know it that’s a good idea John.”

 

“It is just lunch Evangeline I’m not asking you to marry me, not yet anyway.”

 

“What do you mean not yet anyway John?  You know how I feel about marriage.”

 

“Well feelings can change Evangeline.  What about lunch?”

 

“All right let me go home and shower and change and I’ll meet you at Roadie’s.”

 

“Okay I’ll meet you there in an hour.”

 

When I arrive home I think about John’s response about marriage and wondered from where that came.  He knows that I don’t believe in marriage.  Too many marriages end in divorce.  Besides it wasn’t like he was actually asking me to marry him, we aren’t even dating.  But why does one date but to find out if you are compatible with that person but compatible to do what, marry?  Do I want to live the rest of my life alone or do I want to be a perpetual dater.  Sounds a bit like bed hopping and I said that I would not do that.  What do I want?  I don’t know.  I want to fall in love but to what end.  To fall in love with someone and that someone loves me and what do we do with that love?  Do we just date or does our relationship move on to marriage and having a family?  So what if fifty percent of marriages end in divorce?  That means that fifty percent of marriages last.  Why can’t I be in that positive fifty percent?  Seems to me that I need an attitude adjustment.  Let me think about this.  Look at the time I need to shower, change and get out of here if I expect to arrive for lunch on time.

 

At Roadie’s John already here waiting for me.  I am hungry so we waste no time in ordering.  

 

“John, thank you for all of the presents and notes.  It is really great that your therapy is progressing so well. How much longer do you expect to attend?”

 

“Dr. Crosby thinks that since solving my father’s murder that resolved some of my issues but there are just a few more things that he thinks that I should confront. I’m glad that you asked me about therapy because I need to ask a favor of you.”

 

“What is it John?  How can I help you with your therapy?”

 

“Would you be amenable to attending the next session with me.  One of the things that I must address is the failure of my relationship with you and it would help a great deal if you could attend the session with me.”

 

“I don’t know John this is your therapy why would I need to attend?”

 

“In order to move on from the guilt that I feel about the failure of our relationship I need to confront the reasons for that failure and I want you there when I confront them.  Please come.”

 

“All right John where and at what time?”

 

“The session will take place in Dr. Crosby’s office at 6:00 p.m. on Monday.”

 

“I will be there John.  Do you want to play some pool?”

 

“Sure.”

 

I have no idea why I asked him to play pool.  With intentions to leave right after lunch now I’m playing pool and on Monday will attend a therapy session with him.  I feel like I’m in the Godfather IIImovie when Michael Corleone says, ‘Just when I think I’m out they pull me back in.’ If my attending his therapy session will help him it would be mean of me not to attend.  Now to the pool table where we tie in games won.  Saying goodbye I head to Todd’s for a visit with him and Sam.

 

Monday evening comes and here I sit in Dr. Crosby’s office listening to John talk about the things that prevented him from committing to a relationship with me.  My goodness how did he function carrying around all of that guilt? To find out that the night of his birthday party he told me that he was falling in love with me but found out that I was asleep while he was saying it and then he never said it again. Or that he kept Christian’s secret not because he wanted Natalie but because Christian asked him and he felt that was the least he could do for all the harm he caused Christian by getting him involved in the sting operation that resulted in what we thought was Christian’s death but in actuality was his kidnapping and brainwashing.  But I still don’t know why I am here.

 

“Ms. Williamson although this is John’s therapy session do you have anything to say or do you have any questions?”

 

“Yes Dr. Crosby I do.  Why am I here? I understand that John has carried around a lot of guilt which prevented him from fully functioning but how do I fit in this, what do I have to do with any of this?”

 

“Ms. Williamson you are here because John wants you to know why he could not commit to you in the past and now that he has removed those impediments … Well I think it is better if he says it.  John?”

 

“Evangeline I asked you here so that you can hear me admit to the things that kept me from you and have Dr. Crosby confirm that my release of those things now allow me to live freely without those impediments.  I want a life with you Evangeline.  I want to marry you.  I love you.”

 

“Why now John? I don’t know if I can go through another failure with you.”

 

“But we won’t fail Evangeline.  I now know what kept us apart and those things are no longer a part of my life. Can we try again?”

 

“This sounds all very clinical to me, ‘impediments, fully functioning, release’ what does this mean in layman’s terms Dr. Crosby.”

 

“To put it plainly Ms. Williamson, John was a cad and treated you badly because he didn’t want to admit that he loved you more than anyone he had ever met and that scared him so he ran.  He hid behind his so-called issues instead of facing you like a man.  Now he’s grown a set and wants you for himself because now he realizes the great mistake that he made when he treated you badly and lost you.  Is that plain enough for you?”

 

“Is that true John?”

 

“Yes.  I was a coward and for years I blamed my cowardice on my mental issues and now that I’ve handled those matters I’m ready to claim my life.  I want a life with you.”

 

“Well you’ve given me a lot to think about.  Is the session over, may I leave now?”

 

“Yes you may leave Ms. Williamson but I think John will stay for a few more minutes he looks a bit put out that you didn’t readily agree to a new relationship with him.”

 

“Well we can’t always get what we want now can we?  Good night gentlemen.”

 

I leave and head to my apartment.  Now that was quite an eye opener.  How do I respond to all of that information?  

 

Meanwhile back at Dr. Crosby’s office.

 

“What just happened?  I thought that when she heard about all the guilt that held me back that she would agree that we could move forward.  Was I wrong to think that we have a chance at a life together?”

 

“John be serious, you didn’t really think that just like that she would welcome you with open arms.  You hurt her badly and for everyone to see.  She has not sat around waiting for you for as I understand she had a relationship with Christian Vega which seemed a bit odd to me seeing as he was the ex-husband of the woman that was between you and her when you two were seeing each other.  Maybe she needs some counseling too but that’s another matter.  What I find interesting and should be encouraging to you is that she did not reject your offer totally.  She said that we gave her ‘a lot to think about’ so she just may consider your offer but my suggestion is that you not allow her to think too long about it because that is not in your favor.  Show her the new you.  Take her out on dates and do things that she likes.  Show her that she is important to you now.  Time is running out for you John.  Ms. Williamson is a lovely woman and she would be good for you.  From what you said about your relationship she wanted what was best for you even if that meant without her.  Show her that she is best for you.  Any questions John?”

 

“No Dr. Crosby I have somewhere to go.  Good night.  I will see you tomorrow.”

 

“All right John, go forth and conquer.”

 

John heads straight for Evangeline’s apartment.  As soon as he knocks on the door she’s there to open it.

 

“I knew that you would come.  Come in and sit down.”

 

“How did you know that I would come because I didn’t even know it.”

 

“You’re a bit predictable to me now John.  You want to know why I didn’t take your offer of another chance once I knew all of the reasons why we didn’t make it the first time.  Many things have changed since then John.  I have changed and what I want has changed. I want someone to fall in love with me and I want to fall in love with him.  But then I ask myself how does that happen if I don’t put myself out there for that to happen.  I’m scared John.  I’m scared of being hurt again.  RJ hurt me, you hurt me, Christian hurt me and I’m a bit gun shy.  No one can promise me that I won’t be hurt again I know that but I’m still scared.  Hearing you talk this evening I know now that you were scared of love and that prevented you from committing and I don’t want to do what you did John.  I don’t want love to pass me by because I was scared.”

 

“But I’m not scared anymore Evangeline.  I offer you myself fully and freely.  I love you.  I want you to love me.  I will do whatever you want me to do to make that happen.  Just tell me what I have to do.”

 

“That’s just it John I don’t know.  But I do know that I want to feel love again.  Once you made me feel.  I remember saying to you that when you take me in your arms you make me forget about the rest of the world.  I want that feeling John.  I want to feel passion, not just lust, but passion.  I want to make love, not just have sex.  I want to know what it feels like to join physically with someone, to make love to someone who loves me, Evangeline Williamson, a woman imperfect but striving for perfection, a woman who has made mistakes, a woman who doesn’t give her heart easily, a woman who loves hard and long, a real woman, not a woman put on a pedestal but a real woman.”

 

“I want to be the one that you love Evangeline.  Me, John McBain, a man of many faults but one who owns up to those faults and who works to eliminate those faults, a man who has lost love but wants to feel love again freely, a man who sees a woman for the person that she is and strives to be and will help her to reach her goals, a man who will give his heart to the woman that he loves, and a man who asks for the chance with the woman of his dreams so that they can make each other’s dreams a reality.”

 

We sit there just looking at each other.  After all that we’ve said to each other and all that was discussed at Dr. Crosby’s office it comes to this moment.  I know in my heart that I want to love again.  I want a life with love in it.  John and I changed in the years that we have been apart, some good changes and some bad changes.  He’s making an effort to do better and I admire him for that. I loved him once can I again? At least with him it’s not starting from scratch it’s more like chapter two.  If we both go into this with the goal of marriage then we know that we have to work hard to make it work where as before we were just going along for the ride.  This will be different.  

 

 “John I know in my heart that I want to love again. We’ve both changed since our last time together and so I am sure we won’t make the same mistakes.  If we both go into this relationship with an agreed upon goal of marriage then we know that we have to work hard to make this succeed.  You do still want to marry me right?”

 

“Yes I do. Are you saying that you are willing to give me, give us a chance to have a relationship that leads to marriage? Not just dating but doing things together to feel comfortable again with each other to prepare us for marriage is that what you are agreeing to do?”

 

“Are you willing to put in the time and effort to make this work John?  You do realize that not everyone will be happy about this.  So are you ready to take on the world?”

 

“If it is you and me against the world then yes I am?  Evangeline you will not regret this I promise.”

 

“Don’t promise John, just do.”

 

 

“I will Evangeline. I will do what I said.  You will not regret giving me another chance.  What’s the old saying, if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.  Here we go Evangeline, trying again.  But not just trying, we will succeed.  Be prepared to soon respond to my proposal.  You will marry me Evangeline Williamson. You will be my wife.”






Chapter End Notes:

The stories in this collection are based upon actual scenes from the  One Life to Live television series but with added scenes provided by this writer.  Enjoy the read and do leave a review.







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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.