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The JOVAN Saga – A Collection of One-Shots

Chapter  8      Lost and Found

Part  3            Found

While Mrs. Williamson visits with Evangeline, Layla and Christian arrive at the hospital.  It goes without saying that they are surprised to see me here.  After explaining to them that I flew instead of driving as they did, they too go in and visit with Evangeline.  Soon after the doctor returns to check on her and all visitors exit her room.  We stand in the waiting room silently waiting to hear what the doctor has to say.  The wait is not long and he returns to tell us that her condition is improving but he does not expect her to regain consciousness tonight and that we should all leave and get some rest and return in the morning.  The doctor does say that if anything should happen before morning that he will have the staff to call Mrs. Williamson immediately.  No one really wants to leave but he convinces us that we would just be in the way and that it is better that we return in the morning.  Without any arguments from us we leave and head for Mrs. Williamson’s house.

Upon arrival at the Williamson house Mrs. Williamson informs me that Christian and I will have to share a room because Layla will not share her room with Christian, not in her house.  I smile at that gesture and nod my understanding.  Tired from the drama of this day I take a shower and head for bed.  Not in the mood for any conversation I quickly fall asleep.  

This night I dream about Evangeline.  

I dream that she wakes up and doesn’t remember anything about what we shared or remembers me at all.  In a way I think that it is good that she doesn’t remember for in that way she does not remember all of the hurt that I caused her and then I can court her and woo her to fall in love with me, John McBain; the John McBain who has come to his senses; the John McBain who loves her and can say it boldly; the John McBain who wants to marry her and have a family with her; and the John McBain who wants nothing more than to make her happy.  

Then the dream changes into a nightmare of her hating me for all of the pain that I caused her, coupled with all of the pain of losing three years of her life.  She yells at me in the dream that if I had loved her she would not have been in Christian’s studio and would have escaped the gassing, but

Then the dream morphs into her crying that she wants to live; she wants to be happy; she wants love; she wants everything.  And in the dream I take her in my arms and hold her and try to take away all of the pain that she has suffered: the pain of not feeling her father’s love; the pain of my not loving her; the pain of the kidnapping; the pain of Todd’s execution; the pain of Christian’s mistrust; the pain of the OPP attack; and the pain of the coma. Like a vacuum I try to pull all of that pain out of her to exhaust it into the cosmos far away from her, far away from me, and far away from us.

Soon my mind calms and I sleep dreamlessly through the rest of the night.  

We arrive at the hospital just as the doctor completes his examination of Evangeline and he has good news for us.  All tests indicate that she may come out of the coma soon and that we can see her now.  Although she cannot respond his medical opinion is that she can hear us so he suggests that we talk to her but not about anything that we know will upset her.  I smile when I think about my conversation with her yesterday. Mrs. Williamson goes in first and the rest of us go to the waiting room.

“John why are you here?  You never seemed interested in visiting Evangeline before now so what happened to cause this sudden visit?”

“Layla I know that is seems odd to see me here now after all of these years but it’s not something that I can explain but it is just something that I felt that I had to do.”

“How long do you intend to stay and when did you decide to do this?  You didn’t say anything yesterday when I asked for time off.”

“As I said Layla it’s not something that I can explain and as to how long I will be here I don’t have an answer for that either. I’m hoping that Evangeline wakes up soon and then I will make plans.”

“Okay John I won’t give you the third degree anymore. I didn’t know that you cared this much for my sister.  Maybe I was wrong.”

“So was I Layla, so was I.”

Mrs. Williamson came out of the room and then Layla and Christian went in.  Looking at me Mrs. Williamson smiled and said,

“You finally realized it didn’t you?”

“Realized what Mrs. Williamson, I’m not sure that I understand what you mean?”

“After all of these years you finally realized that you love her and when Layla asked you for time off you thought that Evangeline was dying and you didn’t want her to die without her knowing that you really do love her.”

“How did you know, I didn’t know it myself until yesterday?  It was like I was just sitting in a dark room and a sign lit up and all that I had buried deep down inside of me about her flashed on that sign like a neon light.  I just knew that I had to come and see her and talk to her even if she can’t talk to me and so I did.  I talked to her yesterday about a lot of things but there are still things that I have to tell her.  I need her to survive Mrs. Williamson.  It’s like I’ve been walking around for years in a fog and when I saw her yesterday it was like a ray of sunshine cutting through that fog. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize this maybe all of these things had to happen, not saying that I wished any of this on her, you, or me, but I’m just glad that I came.”

“Well John what will you do with all of this information now.  How long do you plan to stay here? You have a job you know.”

“Yes I have a job Mrs. Williamson but that’s not important right now.  Too many times I put my job before Evangeline but for once that will not happen this time.  I don’t know how long I will stay, it really depends on her.  I have time accrued that I can take and I’m sure that I can find an extended stay hotel somewhere nearby, as a matter of fact I saw one as we drove in this morning.  I’ll check on it when we leave.  I can rent a car to get around while I am here so you don’t have to worry about me I will be all right.”

“That sounds like a good plan John and if that is what you want to do you know best, but, you are welcome to stay with me. It’s free and you get meals along with that.  I can use the company if you don’t mind talking to an old lady.”

“Mrs. Williamson you are far from old and that is a generous offer.  Let me think about it and I will let you know.  Oh here come Layla and Christian.  May I go in and see her now?”

“Of course John, that’s why you came right?”

“Yes it is.  Thank you Mrs. Williamson for your kindness.  I know that I don’t deserve it but I thank you for it nonetheless.”

“You are welcome John now go in and talk to Evangeline.  I’ll be here when you finish.  This is how I spend my days so I’m used to waiting.”

Nodding to Layla and Christian as I pass them on the way to Evangeline’s room they do something unexpected, they both thank me for coming.  No, I’m the one who should thank them for allowing my presence. I make it to her room and go in and sit down in what I will now call my chair.  At first I don’t say anything I just look at her.  She has a little more color in her cheeks and not as many tubes.  The breathing machine is gone and the heart monitor beeps a casual rhythm. Looks like either her mother or Layla did something different with her hair.  She looks cute as usual.  I always thought that she was beautiful but looking at her now even being ill she is still gorgeous.  I take her hand and rub her fingers.  Now what do I say to her?  The doctor says don’t say anything that will upset her so what do I say?  She always wanted me to open up to her but can I say all of those things now some of them are gruesome?  So I start from the beginning, I tell her about my childhood before my dad died.  Skipping over my dad’s death I tell her about college and meeting Caitlin and falling in love, not sure that she wants to hear about me being in love with another woman again, but she already knew that I loved Caitlin before I ever met her.  Then I talk about the things that I like.  I like working out, I like reading, I like being a police officer, I like beer, domestic not imported or specialty beers, I like music, a bit of all kinds but not classical or rap, I like football and baseball, and I like her.  I like her as a person because she is a good person.  I like her as an attorney because she is the best that I have seen, I like her as a woman because she is sensual, charming, and oh so sweet.  Don’t get me started on how much I like making love to her because we will be here all day and that’s not what this is about.  It is about talking with her letting her know that I am here for her.  Before I know it the nurses are back in to take her down for therapy.  In that it looks like she will regain consciousness soon they decide to start her on some physical therapy to reduce the atrophy of her limbs.  Leaving her room I return to the waiting room to find Mrs. Williamson, Layla, Christian and Evangeline’s Uncle Clay.  From the expression on his face I can tell that he’s none to happy to see me.

“Look what the cat dragged in.  Lt. McBain what brings you here so many years later? I guess you say better late than never but I would say too little, too late.”

“Clay now don’t give John a hard time.  He came here to see Evangeline and it doesn’t matter why it’s just good that he has.  The doctor said that John’s talking to Evangeline had a major effect on her and they think that she will wake up soon.  I don’t know why I keep saying ‘wake up’ it’s not like she’s asleep but it’s the only thing that I can think of to say.  Anyway she’s breathing on her own and they’ve taken her for physical therapy so that’s a good sign.  Play nice Clay.  All of us are here for Evangeline remember that.  She is important in all of this not our petty squabbles. I won’t have any unnecessary tension around her.  John has realized the error of his ways and is trying to make amends.  Let him do so Clay without your interference.”

“Lisa I just don’t like his ‘Johnny come lately’ appearance but you’re right everything is about Evangeline and if his presence helps her to recover then I will not interfere, BUT, if he causes her one bit of pain all bets are off.”

“That’s only fair Mr. Williamson and I assure you that I am not here to cause Evangeline any pain and if I see that I am then I will leave immediately.”

“I’m okay with that McBain just make sure that you remember that when the time comes.  Lisa when she returns may I sit with her for a while?  I’ve not been here in a few weeks and I want her to know that I’ve not stopped thinking about her.”

“Of course you may Clay.  She will enjoy that.  I see that they’re returning her to her room.  Let me go and check on her and I will come back for you.”

Three days have passed since I arrived and Evangeline still has not come out of the coma but she improves every day.  I do continue to stay with Mrs. Williamson, at her insistence, and it’s quite enjoyable.  After we leave the hospital each night we stop for food and take it back to her house and she tells me about Evangeline when she was younger, from childhood to college, to her moving to Llanview.  She has me laughing about some of the things that Evangeline and Layla did as children and Layla was none to happy with her for telling those stories.  Christian and I shared a laugh or two at her expense.

Day four and Mrs. Williamson and Layla are in with Evangeline when I notice staff rushing to her room.  My heart feels with dread that something awful has happened.  Trying not to cry I bow my head in prayer asking the Lord for grace in all of this.  Then I see Mrs. Williamson exit Evangeline’s room and I fear the worst but then I see a smile on her face and tears in her eyes.  Layla follows her out of the room and they head our way.

“She’s awake, she’s awake.  She looked at me and said Mom.  Oh thank God, I am so happy she is awake.  They’re taking her down for scans and the sort so they told us to get something to eat because the tests will take some time. She’s awake.”

My legs can’t hold me and I plop in the chair behind me.  I give a prayer of thanks.  She’s awake.  No sweeter words have I heard in some time.  She’s awake.  

----------------------------   

A week after coming out of the coma Evangeline is progressing very well. All the tests show that her mental faculties are intact, she remembers who she is and once told the current date she realizes that she has lost over three years of her life. She cried when her mother told her that but she cheered up when they told her all that had happened in that time and she was glad that she missed all of that.  They will keep her here for a month more for physical therapy and then she will go home with her mother.  When word spread of her recovery everyone was so elated. Todd wanted to come right away but her mother insisted that he not come until she has completed her therapy and not wanting to battle with Mrs. Williamson he agreed.

Finally she and I have some time alone and we talk.  At first she was very hesitant to talk with me because she didn’t understand why I am here but I told her that I would explain everything at one time and so she agreed to talk with me alone.  With no distractions and no interruptions, something that we were never able to have when we were together, I told her everything: from the day I left my office to come to see her; my conversation with her that first day here; and then I told her everything from my father’s death, Caitlin’s death, my involvement with her, my involvement with Natalie, Todd’s son fiasco, everything and then after I told her about the past I talked to her about how I envision the future. My words paint a picture of her recovery, her returning to practice law, and her marriage to me and our having children.  You can imagine at that point she looked at me like I was crazy but I didn’t stop there. This picture involved a lot of work on my part of courting her and taking her on dates and doing things together that we both enjoy.  Carefully I added that I will not make the same mistakes that I made before with her.  I want to know her as she has changed and I would not have sex with her or make love to her until our wedding night.  I don’t want her to ever think that I am with her just for sex.  Never again do I want her to ever think that.

“John why are you doing this now? What caused you to come to this realization after all of these years and do you really expect me to want a life with you after all that has happened?”

“Evangeline all that I ask is that you give me a chance to gain your love.  Give me a chance to woo you to court you and maybe have you fall in love with me.  This John McBain not the brooding, selfish, unfeeling, and callous John McBain.  This John McBain is no longer LOST.”  I want you Evangeline and I pray with all that is within me that one day you will want me too.  I want to marry you, I don’t just want to date you and then have you go home and we go from date to date.  That’s an endless roller coaster ride.  I want to go on dates that lead us to having a life together as man and wife. That the ending that I want.  Please give me a chance Evangeline, please.  I will not disappoint you or me.  Do you remember telling me once that if you knew there was a chance that you would stick with me forever?  Well I’m asking for a chance Evangeline.  If I know that there is a chance for me with you then I will stick with you forever.”

“I can’t answer you now John but I will think about it.  Will you give me time to think about it.  This is a big decision.  Don’t you have to get back to work anyway you’ve been gone for over two weeks now?”

“No you don’t get to put me off using my job little lady.  I talked with Bo and he faxed me the paperwork for a leave of absence that I completed and faxed back to him so I have time.  So I will give you time to think about what I said.  Your mother has been gracious enough to allow me to stay with her but I don’t want to overstay my welcome.  Tell you what I will do.  You’re in therapy for the next couple of weeks so I will stay until the end of your therapy and hopefully you will have made up your mind by then. I won’t pressure you because once you tell me that you will allow me in your life I’m in it forever, no taking it back, understand?”

“Yes I understand John.  I will think seriously about this and will give you an answer when I have one okay.”

“Good.”

The doctor rearranged Evangeline’s therapy sessions and allowed her to do them as an outpatient.  The weeks go by and Evangeline’s therapy goes very well and not giving her any time to think about rejecting me after her therapy sessions I take her on mini dates, nothing too strenuous, but nevertheless they are dates.  This surprises her to no end but she thoroughly enjoys all of it and so do I.  Not having received any answer from her and with her therapy ending tomorrow I am fearful that she has rejected my offer.  With her mother out for the evening and Layla and Christian returned to Llanview soon after Evangeline awoke from the coma, she and I are in the house alone tonight.  I am nervous that this night she will tell me to leave and to never return.  Evangeline decides to cook tonight so I am upstairs taking a shower and changing into sweats so that we can sit and talk comfortably.  The dinner is already prepared and Evangeline’s also showering after working hard preparing dinner.  We both meet downstairs in the kitchen and I set the dining room table.  Tonight she wants to eat in the dining room instead of in the kitchen. 

We sit down to eat and something is odd about the food on the table.  These are my favorite foods.  I remember telling her about my favorite foods during one of our conversations when she was in the hospital.  Not knowing what to say I put the food on my plate and start eating.  She doesn’t say much during the meal and then we clear away the dishes, clean them, put them away and then retire to the living room to sit.  Not much of a television watcher we usually just sit and talk after dinner but I must say that I’m not sure what to talk about tonight.

“John you seem nervous tonight, what is wrong?”

“I don’t know Evangeline.  First of all thank you for dinner as everything was delicious and some of my favorite foods.  I appreciate that but I must say that I am a bit nervous about that.  Did you make my favorite foods tonight to ease the blow of you rejecting me?”

“Oh John evidently I didn’t do something right because on the contrary, I made your favorite foods as a way to say that I would love to have a life with you.  These last few weeks have shown me that you are sincere in your desire to be with me and you have convinced me that it would be an adventure that I just can’t pass up.  So woo me and court me to your heart’s content and let’s travel this road to matrimony together. But how do we do this John? I’m still in rehab, you live in Llanview, and my law practice is closed, how do we do this?”

“Well not knowing if you would accept me or not I made inquiries hoping that you would and I have this news:

-You can continue your rehabilitation therapy in Llanview.  I’ve already found a facility that can provide all of the services that you currently have here.  Your mother helped me on checking whether your insurance will cover the services in Llanview and it will.

-Nora wants you back as Assistant District Attorney.  So all that you have to do is renew your credentials and you have a job.

-You can live with me until you find a place of your own.  I’ve already viewed online two apartments that will suit us and are available for immediate occupancy.  Just so you know they both have two bedrooms so we will have separate sleeping quarters.” 

“Well it seems that you have thought of everything Mr. McBain.  What would you have done if I rejected you?”

“I would have left you alone as I said but I would be a very sad man for the rest of my life.  I am so glad that you decided to take a chance on me Evangeline.  We will have a good life I know it.  There is one thing that I do ask to seal this agreement.  May I kiss you?”

“Yes you may John.”

And I do kiss her pouring in to that kiss all of the love that I have for her, the relief of her giving me another chance, and the joy of knowing that she is again in my life.  I am now FOUND.