Un-betaed

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Finding My Way

(John McBain decides to leave Llanview. With a new job in a new city he heads out into his future)

Chapter 1

“Liam, come on.  Your mother will be here in an hour and you need to finish breakfast before she arrives.”

“I’m coming Daddy.  Just wanted to make sure that I didn’t leave anything in my room.  When will Uncle Michael arrive?”

“He’s due after your mother leaves.”

“Okay Daddy, I have everything.  What did you fix for our last breakfast here?”

“Something easy, cereal and milk.”

“Yum, yum, my favorite.”

John McBain and his son, Liam McBain, settle down for their last meal in John’s apartment. They quietly eat waiting for the arrival of Liam’s mother, Natalie Buchanan (she resumed her maiden name after years of going by Natalie Vega).  Liam is now 5 years old and lives with his mother.  On weekends, some holidays, and some summers he spends with his father.  He starts school in the fall.  Earlier this year he asked his parents why they are not married.

(Flashback)

“Mommy and Daddy, why aren’t you married? Don’t you love each other?”

“We love you Liam.  Your father and I tried to make a life together but it didn’t work out.  We still care for each other but not enough to spend a lifetime together.  But we will always love you and will do our best to take care of you.”

“Your mother’s right Liam.  We love you and that is what is important. Just because we’re not married doesn’t mean that we love you any less.  Remember that.”

“I will Daddy.  Mommy what will you do when Daddy moves away?  Will you marry someone else some day?  And Daddy will you marry someone else some day?”

“Liam, I don’t know if I will marry some day but I would like to have someone in my life.  We will wait and see what happens.  As to your father leaving, well he has to do what is best for him.  Just because he’s not here doesn’t mean that you can’t see him.  With Skype he’s just a video call away.”

“Liam just because I’m moving doesn’t mean that I won’t be available.  We will talk with each other regularly, okay.”

“Okay Mommy and Daddy.  Even though you two won’t be together I just want you to be happy.”

(End of flashback)

(Knock, knock)

I go to the door knowing that Natalie has arrived.  Co-parenting Liam with her has been less stressful than I anticipated.  Early on and at every turn she insisted that we should marry and provide a stable home for Liam. And each time I would remind her that we couldn’t marry because I don’t trust her.  She carried this child knowing all along that some other man may have been the father and never once told me until our wedding day.  But I can’t put all the blame on her. All of the years that we have been together and have had sex never once did she get pregnant.  I was careless with her and with Marty.  Marty and I lost our child and once again I was not committed to the mother.  I wasn’t ready for a child so I should have taken the necessary precautions. With that said now that Liam is here I treasure every moment with him.  It’s not his fault that I was careless.  As to marrying Natalie I had every opportunity to marry her before Liam was even a twinkle in someone’s eye but I never wanted to.  I loved her that I will not deny but it was not a sustaining love, not one on which to build a lifetime.  Only after she had the baby did I propose to her and she accepted.  Did I really want to marry her or did I feel a responsibility to marry her?  Now it doesn’t matter because we never married and for that I am grateful.  We would have been awful together married.  

Today I’m moving back to the DC area for a new job with the FBI.  A friend of mine in the Bureau suggested me for a new unit and I applied and was hired.  I start in a month and today I move and will take Liam with me for a two-week stay.  I have leased a furnished apartment and since Liam’s not in school I thought that this would be a good time for him to go with me and help me settle in.  This way I can learn my way around and he can share this experience with me.  Surprisingly enough Natalie agreed to let him accompany me and she’s here now to say goodbye to Liam.  Of course I will have him to call her regularly while he’s away.

“Hello Natalie, come in.  Liam’s just finishing with breakfast and is brushing his teeth.  He’s all packed and we’re waiting for Michael so that we can leave.”

“Hi John.  I know that Liam is excited about this trip.  I must say that I’m sorry to see you go but I know that you have to do what is best for you.  Liam will miss you once he returns home but I’m sure that with video calls he will feel your absence less.”

“That’s what I just told him.  How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

They were never good at small talk so they simply stand there looking at anything but each other as they wait for Liam to return.

“Mommy, you’re here!  Daddy and I are ready to leave.  We’re waiting for Uncle Michael.  Daddy says that he will let me Skype you while I’m with him that way we won’t miss each other so much.  I will miss you Mommy.”

Natalie looks away to avoid crying and then turns to face her son and takes him in her arms and squeezes him while saying to him,“I will miss you too.  Behave with your father and have fun.”

“I will.”  She lowers Liam back to the floor and he goes to pick up his backpack.

“Mommy. Look what Daddy got for me to use on the way to Washington, DC, an iPad!”

“That looks like a lot of fun Liam.  Take care of it okay.”

“Okay.  Daddy already showed me the games on it and I played some of them last night.”

 (Knock, knock)

“That’s Michael.  Liam, are you ready to go?  We need to hit the road.  It’s a long drive.”

“I’m ready Daddy.  Bye Mommy.”

“Bye Liam.  John, have a safe trip.”

“Thank you Natalie.”

With that Natalie heads to the door and opens it to leave as Michael McBain enters. They exchange hellos and goodbyes as they both cross the threshold of John’s apartment and with that the three (3) McBains head to the car for the drive to DC.

“Michael thanks for coming with Liam and me on this trip and agreeing to bring Liam back to Llanview after his visit with me in DC.  I don’t think that I could bear having to say goodbye to him again if I had to bring him back. I’m sure that you have a lot to do other than holding your big brother’s hand through this but I really appreciate it.”

“No thanks needed John.  It’s what brothers do and Marcy and I agreed that this would be good for you and me too since we won’t be able to see each other as often once you move to DC.  So it all works out for the best.”

“Well thanks anyway Michael.”

“You’re welcome John.”