Spock sat in his dim-lit room, staring at his hands. His thoughts are tormented by his decision, his alone, and now he suffers alone.

He thought it out logically, efficiently it was reason without fail. It could never work out, their worlds were different, as people they were different. He was, in fact, half-human, but lived Vulcan, it was logical. His natures fought among themselves of their compatibility, their desires, and they did not agree, they never agreed. They force him to be alone, "A child of two worlds" still haunts him. Will, they ever be at peace, will they ever get along, Spock slams his fist into his other hand in disgust.

"I HURT HER!"

His mind was screaming at him, and it tormented how he treated her, distant himself and shunned her. Why!?

Feelings he could no longer control, desires he could never have. It pricked his Vulcan heart the hurt he left in her eyes.

It was his deep dark secret, to be loved, wanted, to belonged, she gave that to him. In return, he gave her anguish, resentment, and hurt.

Spock got up and went to his dresser and pulls out a small box, opens it and stares. He sat on the floor in his lotus position to try to concentrate on his situation, that was easy; it never went away. He closes his eyes and sees her dark mocha skin, smooth, vibrant, and gentle to the touch. His hands have touched her skin, and it cooled his thoughts and insight a deep desire of lovemaking. A desire not full filled just thoughts. Her almond-shaped eyes, that often follow him across the bridge, windows to his heart, always full of compassion towards him. The most troubling was her singing; her song struck him to his heart that soothe the beast within.

The one whimsical ditty plays in his thoughts:

"His alien love could victimize and rip your heart from you..." * He did that to her, Nyota own words terrorizing her at this very moment.

Spock lowers his head, trying to calm himself; he wants to forget what he has done. How could he forget how she calms him when humans misjudge him, she did that for him. The longer he sat there, the more he wanted to take back his words that hurt her, left her bleeding for the reasons why. He didn't want to hurt Nyota, the woman who spoke his language and knew his thoughts. Does logic always prevail? NO, not when it comes to her.

Spock went into meditation with the small box in his hands, and he focused as his training began to come forth and drifted off.

When Spock came back to reality,

he despised his logical thinking

he despised his two conflicting worlds

he despised himself for letting Nyota go!

He looked down into his hands and looked in the box. He decided to make peace with the one woman he loves. He stares at the emerald green earrings and will offer his peace to her as forgiveness. He will start again with this relationship and not fail or doubt again about his feelings. Without Nyota, there is no peace, life, or existence for him. He unfolded himself and went to his desk monitor and sent a message to his Ashayam that he is confident.