Sounds of Billie Holiday wafted across the room and for a while, the old woman sat, hunched in the chair. Grey eyes stared at nothin in particular but her feet had begun to tap against the floor. She wished she could get up and dance. 

    “Gam, you hungry?” Turning those aged eyes onto her granddaughter Tangie, she blinked once or twice before answerin. 

    “Hungry?”

    “Yes ma’am. Momma makin some of your favorite stew.” It was starting to grow cool out but then she always found herself cold and made sure to have a blanket about her. 

    “Green tamatah stew?” She asked, pleased in the girl’s nod. 

    “Yeah baby I take some.”

    “Okay.” The girl sat next to her and reached over to grab her hand. 

    “Gammy, I like this kinda music.” Smiling, she laughed some. 

    “Gal this here is Lady Day. Billie Holiday. I saw her perform live coupa times.”

    “Did you?” Tangie girl said, eyes lighting up. 

    “Mmhm shol did. And Ms. Ella Fitzgerald too. Louis Armstrong, Count Basie, Chick Webb, Fats Waller all them.”

    “Where at?” 

     “Why at the Savoy or course.” 

    “The Savoy?”

    “Yeah…it was the place to be. It was the only place I could dance with my June Bug and not be afraid.” 

*** 

    Large bright white marquee lights nearly blinded her and for a moment, she stopped and just stared at the massive sigh. 

    “What’s wrong sweetheart?” Joon asked, pulling her coat collar down to lay flat. 

    “It’s so…grand.” Following her line of vision, he chuckled. 

    “Yeah. The Savoy is the classiest place in the world.”

    “Is that what it says?” 

    “The sign?”

    “Yeah..”

    “Mmhm.” Licking her lips, she nodded and pulled his arm against her chest as they continued to walk towards the flashy building. glittering in golden light. Suh-voi. That was a strange name for a club but then away, she’d never been to one… not even a jook joint back home. Jumping at the sound of a horn, she pressed her hand against her heart as Joon’s hand came up to caress her back. 

    “The city is so different than back home. So many sounds.” 

    “That’s why you gotta stay close to me sweetheart.” They came up to the entrance and once the doors opened, the sweet sound of music hit her in the chest. It was sweet yet foreign. Had a real good melody, beat, groove. 

    “Joon what is this music called?” 

    “S’called swing darlin.”

    “Swing?”

    “That’s right.”

    “Oh.” A male attendance came to them. 

    “Sir, Miss may I take your coats?” She watched as he began to peel his coat off of his shoulders and waited until he gingerly helped her out of hers. 

    “Thank you.” 

    “It’s no problem sir.” Her eyes were tryna take everything in when she felt fingers caress her shoulder. 

    “You look divine Kira.” Blushing, she bit her lip. 

    “It’s not a color I’m used to that’s fa sure.” She wore a form fitting mint green dress that drifted right to her ankles. With short cap sleeves and a delicately fashioned collar, it was elegant and feminine. She’d opted to leave her hair in a down braid, laying it across one shoulder. 

    “I like it.” He breathed against her, pressing a kiss to her other naked shoulder. 

    “I’m sure you do.”

    “It becomes you sweetheart. Really does.”

    “Well thank you. Don’t get too excited. I ain’t fixin to make this a habit.”

    “Such a pity.” Pursing her lips, she tucked a stray curl behind her ear. 

    “That you Joon?” Turning towards the voice, the face of a very excited Negro came rushin towards them. 

    “Mitch boy, how you doin?” They shook hands. 

    “I’m real good. Glad you could make it to the Big Apple.”

    “Yeah it’s good to visit again. Ain’t nothin changed.”

    “Still the same ol same ol huh?” The man’s eyes drifted over to her and down her body. 

    “Who is this lovely little thing?” 

    “She can introduce herself.” Licking her lips, she outstretched her hand to which he laid a kiss to. 

    “I’m Kira. Kira Burnett. I’m Joon’s woman.” His eyebrow lifted and he grinned, taking the two of them in completely. 

    “Well I’ll be damned. You don got you a fine brown thing huh? I ain’t know you liked women of the chocolate persuasion.” Joon returned the man’s grin with one of his own. 

    “Learn somethin everyday doncha?”

    “You gotta be the only Oriental I know that’s down with the brown.”

    “That right?”

    “Yeah. It’s uh..it’s nice to see.” 

    “Hm.”

    “S’cuse me but how y’all know each other?” She interjected, confusion all on her face. 

    “Sorry for not makin the proper introduction. I’m Mitchell Wright but everybody just call me Mitch. I work on the same Pullman Car Joon does.”

    “Oh…”

    “Yeah he’s a real good guy. Hard working as hell.”

    “Gotta be in this world right?” He replied with a laugh. 

    “That’s for sure. Listen here, why don’t y’all come join my group tonight? We’re just havin a good time drinkin and dancin. Let loose some Joon. You been workin too hard lately.” He sighed as if to consider. 

    “It’s all up to the lady here.”

    “I’m fine with whatever you wanna do.” 

    “Then it’s settled.”

    “This way.” The man led them further into the gaudy world of the Savoy and she knew this would be a night she wouldn’t ever forget. 

*** 

    That night, I felt June Bug’s heartbeat. It was so close, right underneath my ear. He held me close, fingers pressed against my back as he glided across the floor, pulling me with him. The sweet sound of the horns and the live band gave me a feelin unlike anythin I’d ever experienced before. But it was the way he held me, the heat of his hands…the warmth of his breath on my neck that made me weak.

     I’d closed my eyes long time ago as we swayed to the gentle music, praying that he didn’t let me go anytime soon. My poor knees were sure to give out and I’d fall to the floor like a fool. The woman’s lilting scatting and the way he pressed a discreet kiss to my neck made me bite my lip. Gripping his hand a bit tighter, I finally gathered my guts and lifted my eyes upward to find his already on mine. That different look… the look of before at the watering hole sure and strong. It melted his eyes into a warm toasty chocolate and I couldn’t look away. 

*** 

    “Tani, you up there?” Jumping, she turned towards the voice that hollered up the stairs. Saffron. 

    “Y-yeah Fronnie! I’m up here.” The sound of footsteps ascending rang in her ears, where once she heard one of Gammy’s old time records, playing on a vinyl record player. 

    “How’s it goin?”

    “How you feelin?” She asked first, setting the journal aside. Fronnie sighed, running fingers through her curls. 

    “I’m doin better. Last entry really got to me.”

    “Yeah me too.”

    “I don went through a buncha emotions but now… now I think I’m ready to get back to it. How Gam and June Bug?” She asked, motioning to the journal. She smiled, licking her teeth. Cheeks in a faint blush. 

    “Ah…well…”

    “Gimme that.” Fronnie said with a sudden grin, eyes roaming over the entry she’d previously read. 

    “Oh.”

    “Oh?”

    “I think I’ma read this next one.” She said with a look, pursing her lips. 

    “I’m bouta be 16 in a year for gawd’s sake Saffron. I ain’t no little girl.”

    “Yeah you startin to sound like Gam now.” Huffing, she crossed her arms. 

    “Well…it’s true.”

    “Mmhm it’s true. I’m bout to start.” Uncrossing her arms, she began to play with the fringe on the bottom of her jeans as her sister began to read. 

***

    “Why you look at me like that?” She found herself asking but her voice wasn’t as strong as she’d have liked it to be. 

    “How am I lookin at you?” He asked, voice low. She felt her cheeks warm and swallowed, willing her legs still to move. 

    “It’s…it’s the same look you had at the waterin hole.” 

    “Is it?” He twirled her around, steps steady but light as the female singer crooned her song of romance, of abundant love. 

    “How else is a man supposed ta look at the woman he desires?” He asked, drifting fingers down her back. It felt her breathless. 

    “D-dee-zai-ur you said?” He pulled her flush against him, hands now dangerously close to her hips. Leaning down, he pressed his lips against her ear. 

    “Sweet sweet girl…you gotta lot to learn doncha?” She gasped softly against him as he pulled away from her finally, suddenly as the song ended. Heart racing in her chest, she watched as he lifted her hand and brought it to his mouth. And like that, he walked away, leaving her in the midst of bodies moving to and fro, on time with the next slow ensemble that had started to play. 

*** 

    “It was nice to meet you little lady.” Eyes watched as the good friend of his took Kira’s hand and pressed a soft kiss to it. Her cheeks grew lively with color and she nodded some, lips in a small smile. 

    “You too now.”

    “Such a pretty lil thing she is ay Joon?” Exhaling the smoke from his cigarette, his eyes drifted down her body. 

    “Pretty indeed.”

    “I hope y’all come back to dance with us again. I for one enjoyed meetin you.” Two of girls in the group said, coming to give Kira a friendly hug. 

    “We Southern gals gotta stick together here? Don’t be a stranga now.”

    “Where you from?” Kira asked, eyes lighting up. Outta the multitude of light gals in the group, these two were the only brown ones. 

    “I’m Dottie Mae from Mississippi and Carlotta here from Alabama.” 

    “What a worl.”

    “And you?”

    “Joon and I from Georgia. Smyrna.”

    “That explains that thick country boy accent he got on him huh?” 

    “My, I ain’t know they had Orientals that way.”

    “You’d be surprised now wouldn’t cha?” He said, snuffing out the cigarette, boyish grin on his face. 

    “I ain’t mean no offense now Joon.” She said, putting up her hands. 

    “None taken sweetheart.” 

    “I’ll see you tomorrow June Bug my boy. I’m gunna take my dames on now.”

    “It was nice meetin you ‘gain Kira.”

    “Yeah y’all two.” 

    “We should be headin back now too Kira girl.” He said, slipping hands into his pockets. She nodded, a hand wrapping around his arm as they set off, a sense of urgency all about them. It was well after dark and he could taste the nervousness and apprehension all around her. Back home, they couldn’t do this. But here in the grand ol city of New York, there existed a freedom that he yearned for. He wanted to be with her. Together. In public. At night. Period. He didn’t want to hide her and he didn’t want her to hide him.  

    “Relax suga, nothin’s gonna get you up here. Not while I’m here.” He said, slipping an arm around her waist. But then, his heart yearned for something that would never happen. They’d always be forced to be in the dark, be in private, be in hiding. It pissed him the fuck off. 

    “Joon?” 

    “Yeah pretty gal?”

    “I…I had a good time tonight.” She said softly, bringing a smile to him. 

    “I’m glad of that. You deserve it and more.”

    “Can we do it again? Come back to the Suh-voi?” Chuckling, he held her close as they came in sight of their train car. 

    “We most definitely can. If it’ll make ya happy.”

    “It would.” 

    “Then we will.” He said, lifting her up onto one of the steel steps. 

    “Joon?” Turning, they found one of the porters who appeared to have stepped out to sneak a cigarette. 

    “Yeah it’s me.”

    “Oh thank Gawd. I thought it was one of the white folks.”

    “Nawl you safe. Fa now.”

    “How was y’all time out?”

    “Good.” Is all he answered, letting her pull him up the stairs by his hand.  The man watched the two with a smirk on his face and cleared his throat. 

    “Well, y’all enjoy y’all night now.” He opened the door, leaving their private entrance open for them. 

    “Gon in now. I’ll be there shortly.” He said, kissing her temple. 

    “Don’t be too long.” He waited until she closed the door to pull out another cigarette. Striking a match, he inhaled the nicotine and leaned over the banister, eyes on the sky up above. The stars weren’t visible like they was back home and he sorely missed it. They’d be so bright, they’d shine a path of light upon the ground and you could see the night in a different light… a different way. Running fingers through his hair, he sighed heavily. He wanted to be selfish and keep her with him…keep her by his side where she belonged. It didn’t matter which city the train rolled into next. He wanted her with him. He didn’t want to let her go. 

    Tonight, he’d held her close… close enough that he could’ve tasted the softness of her skin had he been bold enough to. She felt so fuckin right…so soft and warm. But his Kira girl had things she needed to learn should she stay with him. Staring out into the darkness now, he stood there until the cigarette was nothing but a stub. Tonight, he’d give her her first lesson. Emboldened by the New York air, he pushed off of the rail and began to enter into their private car. She called herself a woman. His woman. Tonight, he’d show her a little bit of what that looked like. 

*** 

    “Okay I think that’s enough.” Fronnie said, quickly pulling the book away. 

    “YOU BETTA NOT!” Tani screeched, coming to hit her. 

    “Nawl I think it’s gettin x rated.”

    “Fronnie I sweat ta gawd if you don’t keep readin I’m gonna swat you ‘gain.”

    “Girl if you don’t calm down!”

    “If you don’t keep readin I swear I’ma hit you Fronnie.” She sucked her teeth. 

    “Fine. You nasty lil girl.”

*** 

    She sat at the vanity, combing through her hair. It had felt like sucha relief to get them pins out. She’d hung up her beautiful dress, one that Joon had sent her last year while away. Sighing, she began to wipe off the lipstick from her lips when she heard the door open. Freezing, she turned, relaxing once she saw him come into the car, tie already undone, hanging on each side of his neck. 

    “Have a good smoke?” She asked, her voice light as she focused back on her task. 

    “Yeah. I did.”

    “I was thinkin bout what we could do tomorrow.” She said, wiping a moist towel across her bottom lip. 

    “Maybe see the Statute of Liberty.” He suggested, eyes dead set on her. She was mighty comfortable and bold, sittin there in only her undergarments. Licking his lips, he began to remove his tailcoat and pull his bowtie from around his neck. 

    “That sounds mighty fun!”

    “Or maybe we could go for a coffee. See a play. The options all endless up here.”

    “Yeah there’s…so…so much to do.” She made the mistake of glancing up him in the mirror and saw that he was starting to undress…hence the stutter. Forcing her eyes back down, she took a breath. 

    “Or perhaps we could stay here.” He drawled, accent abundant in all that Georgia goodness, the buttons to his shirt coming undone nice and steady, fingers calm. 

    “Stay here? An do what?” The shirt fell down them thick bronzed shoulders of his and she tried to look anywhere but at the now shirtless man who approached her. 

    “I’m sure we could thinka somethin.” She quickly wiped her top lip and grabbed another rag to wipe her face entirely. His hands slipped across her shoulders and she grew still, his heat, his breath, lips…everything too close to ignore. 

    “Y-you t-think so?” 

    “Aw come on now Kira girl. You always did have a big imagination.” Fingers starting to shake, she swallowed a lump in her throat and tried to focus…focus on the task at hand. What’s tha last step of cleanin ya face? Rosewater. Right. She spritzed some rosewater and vanilla infused water on her skin, hoping the spray would make him pull back a bit more. But instead, he leaned down and kissed the juncture between her neck and shoulder. Somethin warm and wet came to lick the drops of excess off her skin and she melted against him, breath now panting, heavy and slightly shaky. 

    “J-Joon what…what you doin?” 

    “Helpin you clean up.” He replied, lips kissing her shoulder. 

    “I…I got it mighty fine thank you…” His lips turned into a grin and his eyes lifted from her shoulder to meet hers in the mirror. 

    “You thinkin about tuckin tail and runnin ain’t you?” 

    “What?” 

    “I know you lil girl.”

    “I…I just…just-”

    “You just don’t wanna face or accept it. Or perhaps you don’t know what to call it. What you’re feelin.” He said, fingers reaching up to grip her jaw. His plump lips took the breath away from her as they pressed firmly on hers. She felt her heart beat wildly against her chest and felt moisture saturate her down below. He didn’t give her a chance to recover, forcing her to look back at her reflection. 

    “That right there is called desire.” She bit her lips and closed her eyes as the thin straps to her brassiere were pulled down her shoulders. 

    “Look at me Kira.” Warm flutters waved across her skin as the air teased her now exposed chest. Licking her lips, fingers gripped tight together, she slowly opened them, staring at their reflections in the mirror. 

    “I want you to say it.” 

    “What?”

    “You heard me.” His hands suddenly dropped from her shoulders, slowly coming to take her breasts in his hand. She felt her cheeks grow red but the warmth within them was no match for that of his big rough hands, hands that held her nice and gentle. 

    “D…Dee…zai uh….” His fingers squeezed her.

    “Do you feel it?” She lifted her hands to his, fingers lightly brushing the skin of his hands. 

    “Yes…” She breathed as he kissed her on her neck again. 

    “Good girl.” His hands suddenly let her go and she felt like a fool for how she missed them. 

    “Now I’m gonna teach you about pleasure.” 

*** 

    “Gammy and June Bug was uh… very um…”

    “Passionate?” Fronnie suggested, lips pursed at her little sister’s red cheeks. 

    “Yeah you could say that.”

    “Mmhm.”

    “Ya know what… I um… I think I will gon downstairs. Help Momma or somethin.” 

    “What was all that talk from before? I thought you wanted me to read it?” Fronnie grinned at her sister’s embarrassed face. 

    “Well, right now I might wanna take a break. I been readin all mornin.”

    “That you have.”

    “I’m sure Gam’s hungry so I help Momma fix her somethin.”

    “Okay then.”

    “You stayin up here?” Fronnie grinned again, eyes teasing her sister. 

    “I’m old enough to read the rest so yeah I’m stayin.” Pushing her, she left Saffron up in the attic and little did she know, she was eager to continue. Before she continued, she glanced at another photo of the two that had fallen out of the journal. In the vignette, the two of them appeared to be dancing. Obviously shorter than him, she stood on his shoe covered feet, hers bare. She had her eyes fixed on him and his on hers, a charming smile on his face. Even from the picture you could see the adoration in their eyes. 

    “Gammy you had you quite the June Bug.” She said softly to herself as eyes found right where she left off. 

*** 

    In every woman’s life, there comes a time when she must learn certain things. When she’s a girl, she learns of her body changing…small budding breasts and blood that comes from in between her thighs…marking her for womanhood. Once she finally becomes a woman however, the lessons become not as painful. Should you have the right teacher, they become…moments of ecstasy. 

*** 

    She arched her back, fingers gripping the sheets behind her. Soft mewls sprung up from her throat and she tried to keep them muffled, fearing there were those who could and would hear her. Large slender fingers gripped one of her breasts while he lovingly attended to the other, pulling the tasty little morsel into his mouth. He soon let go of it, lips closing around a dark little berry, hard and puckered. 

    “Joon…” She moaned softly, pushing the bud further up into his mouth. He suckled for a little while yet, eyes feasting on her reaction. She was so beautiful, his little Kira girl. Her head had been thrown back, those succulent lips of hers parted and melodic saccharine moans of his ministrations had his cock throbbing with eagerness. He slowly licked the bud, watching as she lifted her hand to muffle her mouth. No no, that wouldn’t do. Pulling away with a soft pop, he reached up to grab her hand, pushing it away from her mouth. 

    “Don’t do that sweetheart.” She whimpered against his lips and allowed him to taste her, tongue stroking hers. Pulling away, she panted for breath, biting her bottom lip as he kissed her jaw before dragging his tongue up the length of it. 

    “I wanna hear how good I’m makin you feel baby.” Drawing her bottom lip into his mouth, he sucked before letting her free. Entangling their fingers, he knelt down to shower attention to her other lonely breast, pleased in the louder unrestrained moans that bubbled up from her mouth. Once he had her squirming, he lifted her up into his arms. Forcing her to bend over onto the vanity table, he took her jaw in his hands, making her look at them in the mirror. She wheezed, taking in the way her body trembled underneath him, begging for more. 

    Mouth open and lips parted, grey eyes roamed across the hand that gripped her breast, the intense chestnut gaze that had darkened until they were almost black, misted with desire and with love. His lips were bruised and rose colored and he dwarfed her, his body big, hard and heavy, fingers on her jaw warm. 

    “That there darlin is pleasure.” 

*** 

    Fronnie licked her lips and shut the journal, carefully marking the place where she’d left off. She pushed herself up from the floor. Her Gammy more than deserved every bit of pleasure she was sure she received from Joon. He adored her. By the end of it all, her hope was that Gam saw herself just the way June Bug had. She hoped that his love and his passion for her shut up and shut out all the self depreciating thoughts and opinions she and others held of herself. After all, that’s what she defined real love as. Smiling, she began to head down the stairs, closing the attic door behind her.