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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


 

 


I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone
I don't wanna be that call at four o'clock in the mornin'
'Cause I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home

 

It had taken a while, but they caught on.  They knew she feigned sleep whenever they came to visit or would take a hit from her morphine drip so she could drift off during the visit.  He, of course, called her on it.  Her mother had wanted to, but with everything that happened she just couldn’t.  She milked the hospital stay for as long as humanly possible, but then reality was thrust upon her and she had to leave.  She left, but armed with medication to help ease the pain.  At the time, she hadn’t realized it would become a crutch, but she knew it helped her escape her horrible real life.

She knew he was hurting, but she couldn’t cross the barrier between them to help him.  Instead he concentrated completely on her, nursing her, babying her.  She was suffocating.  With him, her parents, and their family, she couldn’t take a breath without someone asking how she was doing.  After a while, she saw through their constant attention.  Everyone was using her as a way to escape their own pain, their own lives.

When her doctor refused to renew her prescription, she didn’t know what to do.  All she knew was she had to escape.  Showing a side her loved ones hadn’t seen in a long while, she suggested a girls’ night out.  They eagerly agreed and he couldn’t protest.  So out the door she went for the first time in months, but not with him.  It should have bothered her, but she was beyond truly caring.

They were out of place at the club they were too old.  Suddenly they were the cougars.  But for one night, they were all game and thought they would show the youngins how to do it.  For a while, the dancing and the drinks helped, but it was there creeping in.  Abruptly leaving the dance floor, she escaped to the bathroom and found heaven, but what was really hell.

 

 

 


Ah, the sun is blindin'
I stayed up again
Oh, I am findin'
That's not the way I want my story to end


 

She had to get rid of him.  She had to be free.  She didn’t want to see the looks of pity, the looks of pain, and the looks of disappointment.  She could easily see those looks if she ever looked in the mirror.  Getting rid of him and his concern for her was a priority.  And she knew just how to do it.

 


I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside, you're my protection
But how do I feel this good sober?

 

Her plan had worked.  It had worked perfectly so why wasn’t she ecstatic?  Why was she in this dark club with the ground shaking from the pounding of the bass, looking for her dealer?

Why was she doing E?  Why was she trying to forget?  Trying to forget the look of betrayal that crossed his eyes and slowly turned to anger and disgust the longer he stood there.  The longer he watched her writhe around in their bed with some anonymous male.  Well, not so anonymous, she made sure he had the same first name as her husband.  When she heard the door close firmly and loudly, she knew she had accomplished her goal.

So why was she getting high and dancing?  Why was she alone in a sea of people, yet she had pushed away the ones who wanted to be with her?

 


I don't wanna be the girl that has to fill the silence
The quiet scares me 'cause it screams the truth
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation
'Cause I won't remember, save your breath
'Cause what's the use?


 

She could feel the eyes watching her, but she ignored them, as if they weren’t there.  She had moved two counties over where no one would know her.  She lived at a Travelodge.  They didn’t ask too many questions, yet she didn’t have to fear a rat would greet her in the bathroom or worry she’d get a STD if she accidentally lay on the comforter.  She wanted to be free of her past life.  She wasn’t that woman anymore.  And she never could be again.

She had become a vampire.  Ambien helped her sleep through the day and kept the nightmares away.  And her nights were spent at the clubs- - dancing.  When she was high, she was free.  Free from everything, yet something was off.  The freedom the high used to give her didn’t make her feel whole and complete any longer.  Real life was slowly seeping in. 

 


Ah, the night is callin'
And it whispers to me softly, "Come and play"
But I, I am fallin'
And if I let myself go I'm the only one to blame

 


She had been so excited.  They had left extra early and were rewarded with spots right in the front of the parade line.  They were having a great time.  They were full from hot dogs, popcorn, cotton candy, and soft drinks.  It was going down as one of the best days of her life.  And due to a series of fluke accidents, it quickly turned into the worst day of her life.

Later, she was told that a child was playing with a fake snake  underneath the barrier.  The horses riding in the parade saw it and all hell broke loose.  The riders lost control of the horses, some of which ran into the float behind them, causing the driver of the float to lose control and slam into the crowd- - into them.

All she remembered hearing were the screams of those around her.  All she was aware of was that her baby had been in her arms, but was now gone.  Where were her children?  Where were her children - - was her last thought before the pain became too much for her to bear.

She was in and out of consciousness for a few days.  During her in times, she heard conversations around her although she wasn’t able to communicate back.  From these talks, she learned the horrible news though she couldn’t believe it was true yet she knew in her heart it was.  The float had hit her causing her thirteen-month-old baby girl to fly out of her arms.  Deborah died the instant her head hit the ground.  Her eldest step-son and step-daughter had been trampled to death as parade attendees rushed to flee the scene and save their own lives.  Her youngest step-son had lingered in a coma for days before succumbing to the injuries he sustained from being trampled by one of the frightened horses.  Her father-in-law had been pushed to the ground by the crowd and had a heart attack and a stroke trying to find his family.

But it wasn’t until she woke up and could communicate that her husband told her the rest of the story.  Her father-in-law was hovering between life and death.  And as for her, she had been trapped underneath the float for over an hour.  And the pain she had felt while she was trapped was her losing the baby she hadn’t even known she was pregnant with.  Before she could even begin to comprehend what her husband was saying, he told her the bleeding had been so bad and couldn’t be stopped that in order to save her life the doctor had to do a complete hysterectomy.

How did those words, those memories, penetrate her high?  Penetrate the only way she now knew to keep taking breaths.

 


I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside, you're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

 


She couldn’t live like this anymore.  She couldn’t.  Once upon a time, the drugs hid the pain, the hurt, the loneliness, the sadness, the guilt, the helplessness, but somewhere along the line it stopped.

 


Comin' down, comin' down, comin' down
Spinnin' 'round, spinnin' 'round, spinnin' 'round
I'm lookin' for myself, sober

 


He opened the door and found a bag of pills in front of his door.

 


Comin' down, comin' down, comin' down
Spinnin' 'round, spinnin' 'round, spinnin' 'round
Lookin' for myself, sober

 

 

“Yo necesito ayudar.”

 


When it's good, then it's good, it's so good 'til it goes bad
'Til you're trying to find the you that you once had
I have heard myself cry 'never again'
Broken down in agony, just tryin' find a friend, oh, oh


 

She came into his view wearing her alma mater sweatshirt, running shoes, and baggy jeans.  She looked like hell, but for the first time in a long time her eyes were clear, although ravaged with pain.

“We’ll get you help,“ said Michael “Sonny” Corinthos, Junior as he held his ex-wife as if his life depended on it.  “Te quiero.  Te amo.”

 


I'm safe up high, nothing can touch me
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside, you're like perfection
But how do I feel this good sober?

 

Dara Jensen Corinthos sighed and snuggled in closer to the scent that smelled like- - that was home.  Sonny was her home.  She knew it.  She was safe.  And whatever came their way, she knew together they could handle it because- - this was home.

 


I'm safe up high, nothing can touch
But why do I feel this party's over?
No pain inside, you're like perfection
But how do I feel this
good sober?

 

 

 












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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.