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twelve. 




Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


 

Eighteen Hundred and Nineteen

Winter 

 

 

 

    A chill ran through her and she lifted hands to try to close her cotton coat. Shivering, she was surprised at a warm fur being placed over her shoulders. Growing still, she turned only to relax. Dark humored eyes looked back at her and rosy cheeks faced her. 

    “You gave me a fright.” She said with a slight pout, it growing deeper at his deep laughter. 

    “I offer sincerest apologies.” 

    “You don’t mean them do you?” He feigned hurt. 

    “But of course I do. What kind of Gentleman do you think I am?” Rolling her eyes, she walked ahead of him, biting her lip in a smile. Her breath hit the air and it came as a cloudy white mist. All around, white fluffy snow blanketed the ground and it looked as if the snow itself shimmered under the sunlight. 

    “What brings you into the elements today Zadie?” He asked, slipping his hands into his pockets. 

    “The Lord and Lady have need of firewood.” She replied with a deep sigh. 

    “And they didn’t do as most do and prepare for it ahead of time.” It wasn’t a question, rather, a statement of disappointment. 

    “That cotton jacket is not nearly enough to keep you warm.” He said, eying how she shivered and shook. 

    “It’s all I have at the moment.” 

    “I’ll buy you a coat. A proper coat.” The two walked in silence for a while, heading towards the woods where a small chopping block lay.

    “God it’s so cold…” She spoke quietly, teeth starting to chatter. 

    “I’ll help you. Here.” Taking off his much warmer coat, he placed it too over her shoulders and fastened it closed. 

    “Kieran…you don’t have to-”

    “I won’t hear a word out of you about it.” He said with a small laugh. Breath curling up in the wind, he knelt to gather some uncut blocks of wood. 

    “You just relax there. Try to get warm.” She stood, lips trembling, Lifting his collar, she tried to cover her nose for a moment. Inhaling deeply, her eyes fluttered closed. He smelled so good. Warm and spicy like a good cider. Inviting. Comforting. The sound of the ax going through the wood caused her to open her eyes. Inhaling again, she felt her cheeks too grow warm as she watched him chop. The sheer force from the ax was enough to cause some of the wood to splinter. But his pace was strong and consistent. Solid. Can he be any more frustrating? Glancing at her, he gave her a grin and put the ax back, kneeling low to pick up the wood. 

    “Will this do?” She went to grab the rest he had chopped. 

    “Yes…thank you.”

    “Don’t. It’s only right.” Smiling underneath his coat, she glanced up at him again. 

    “Christmas is just around the corner.” He spoke with a short huff of air following. 

    “Yes.”

    “What does that look like for you? Around this time?” 

    “The same as it does every other time of year. Christmas is where some of the biggest parties take place you know.” 

    “Ah.”

    “I believe we get one day off during the whole season. New Years is right around the corner so it starts back up again.” Entering the store house, they dropped the snow covered wood into the pile of existing wood. He watched her as she brushed the snow off of it with a makeshift broom. 

    “Zadie.” Pausing, she slowly turned towards him. 

    “Hm?” Taking hands out of his pockets, he came towards her, gently taking the broom from her. 

    “I have a serious question to ask you.” Swallowing, she looked down as if remembering suddenly that she had on his coat. She unfastened it and gave it back to him. 

    “Sure um… thank you. For this.” He took it yet he did not put it back on.

    “If I told you that I wanted to purchase your freedom what would you say?” Her eyes grew wide and mouth ajar… from pure shock. It was then that he put the coat back on. 

    “I….I d-don’t know…I mean…why?” He looked at her and if she didn’t appear to be genuinely confused he might have laughed. 

    “Why?”

    “I mean…I enjoy your company. And…I am thankful for the time we’ve spent together. But…it’s just… it’s not right.” 

    “It’s not right.” He repeated, starting to come towards her.

    “Is it right then for you to be living like this?” Turning from him, she wrapped her arms around herself. 

    “Of course not! This is not right under any moral circumstance.” She didn’t flinch this time but relaxed as he put his arms around her. Holding her tight, he leaned down, pressing his lips against her ear. 

    “Is it not right because you don’t believe you’re worthy?” At that question, she did flinch but he only held her closer. Her eyes started to fill with tears and his warm spicy scent seemed to overwhelm her. God… this was too much. It was too cruel. 

    “Kieran…I…”

    “It’s not your fault.” Damn him….damn the feelings she felt…

    “It’s not your fault that he raped you.” She began to tremble and it seemed that the tears she’d held in started to fall quietly. 

    “It’s not your fault that you stopped fighting. It’s not your fault that you grew tired and gave in.” Audible cries now started to rise from her throat and oh how they spoke of torment. 

    “You’re not to blame for his actions. He alone is to blame for that.” She tried but couldn’t stop herself from turning and crying into his chest. 

    “You’ve held it in for too long. You’ve tortured yourself. Held yourself to blame for all that has happened to you. It’s okay now. It’s okay to let it go.” Loud anguished cries filled the storehouse and he gently pressed kisses to her forehead and the crown of her head, uncovered from the bonnet. 

    “There you are my sweet girl…that’s it now.” She cried and cried until she felt depleted, drawing in short little breaths as she calmed down. Closing her eyes, she didn’t even care that she gripped his jacket. His lips pressed soft little kisses against her ear now and they smiled against her. 

    “Feel better?” She nodded, biting her lip. Finally, she pulled back from him, lifting her hands from his chest to her face, wiping all the tears she’d cried. 

    “I’m so…”

    “Don’t do that. I won’t have it.” She swallowed the apology and came to look at him. 

    “What will giving me my freedom really do for me? Honestly. Tell me. I may be freed but… I will still be a woman. And….I will still be a Negro. There aren’t choices for us like there are for you. What can I offer anyone other than…than this?” Taking hold of her cheek, he caressed it with his thumb. Pressing his forehead against hers, he sighed deeply. 

    “Purchasing your freedom will let you know that you have a way out. You’re not stuck. You’re not trapped. You aren’t destined to live, work, fuck, and die here.” At his harsh language, she blinked but kept quiet as he continued, 

    “You deserve to have a platform where you can do whatsoever your heart desires. I know you have desires Zadie. You’re incredibly intelligent, well versed and hold many talents. Don’t you think you deserve to give yourself a chance?” 

    “Yes but where is this platform? Who shall give it to me?” He pulled her body close until they were flush. Lifting his other hand, he took hold of her other cheek and for a while just looked into her eyes. Taking one of her hands, he pressed it against his chest. 

    “If only you could feel how fast my heart beats when you’re near. I fear it is a condition that will never rid itself of me.” Her cheeks, red from the cold, grew even more so. 

    “When everyone else called me a monster…a beast…a creature…you called me Kieran. When I was paraded around like an animal, abused, beaten and humiliated…you held my hand and cared for me.” Her lips part slightly, eyes shiny with tears. 

    “I haven’t spoken about it. I wasn’t sure if you even reciprocated. Perhaps I was a fool for falling in love with you. For allowing my heart and soul to be weakened by your smile and your tenderness.” For the first time ever, Kieran actually seemed…nervous. It made her heart melt and she too wanted now to hug him instead. 

    “I…I know that you’re worried. I know that you’re scared. But I want to show you that there is another way…I want to show you that your happiness and your life is both possible and worthy.” Smiling, she lifted on her tip toes and kissed him sweetly. 

    “Thank you. For this. For everything… it means the world to me.” He didn’t let her go, in fact, he craved yet another taste of her lips, the wine of love from Cupid’s cup there for him to drink. MATE. BLOOD. MATE. Just as he was to take another drink, he felt a most intense hunger rip through his belly. It made him back away from her and breath come heavy. At his reaction, she grew concerned. 

    “Kieran…what’s the matter?” 

    “It’s…it’s nothing.” But clearly, she could see that indeed there was. Grabbing hold of his hand, she pulled him from the storehouse. 

    “Where are we going?” He asked as she pulled him towards the back of the house. 

    “If we’re quiet, we’ll be undetectable. Come on.”

    “Zadie…” 

    “Come on.” She would not take no for an answer. She saw it…the brief flash of cool blue that danced across his eyes. Fascinating. Frightening even. She could see that he trembled with something. Held something back. Breathing light, she peered around the corner. Lord and Lady Nolan both were away, to visit their in-laws for the week. They would in fact be back just in time for their annual Christmas party. The manor for a moment was quiet and lax. Seeing the hallways clear, she led him up the stairs. Most likely, the maids and other help were in the great room for a quick spell, eating leftovers and drinking cider. Up the stairs she led him and quickly they turned the corner. Heading to her room, she pulled him inside. 

    “Zadie…what…what are you doing?” 

    “Sit there.” She pointed to her bed. For a moment, he took in her room, the bed where she lay…the vanity. Swallowing thickly, he removed his coat which she took and slowly sat down; watching as she went to hang up the wet cold coat. 

    “What are you up to?” He asked, fingers clenching the bedding beneath him. She turned and for what seemed like hours to minutes said not a word. You’ve helped me. Now let me help you. 

 

*** 

 

    She still hadn’t bloody said anything and the silence was starting to drive him mad. MATE. BLOOD. FEED. NO. No…he couldn’t… he didn’t trust himself right now. So many things were happening. So many foreign emotions ran through him and he struggled to place and sort them. He hadn’t realized he had looked down but upon looking up, his mouth dropped some. She had removed her shawl and now was taking off that useless cotton coat. 

    “Zadie, what in God’s name are you doing?” She still didn’t say a word as she unpinned the dress on the side. Watching as it flowed nice and pretty to the floor, he felt his groin twitch. MATE. FEED. She slowly unlaced her short stays and he could feel her nervousness. Her fingers trembled with it. Her fear. But she was brave, biting her lip as she too shrugged out of them. Left in her chemise, she sighed.

    “Why did your eyes change?” 

    “What?” At last, she brought her eyes upward. 

    “Why did your eyes change color?” Swallowing, he gripped the bedding a tad bit harder. Already his claws had started to surface and his fangs were in position. 

    “It happens. When I am angry. When I feel very strong emotion.”

    “And?” She asked, seeing through his bullshit. Tell her. 

    “…And when I require a feed.” That seemed to be what she was looking for and she nodded, starting to come towards him. 

    “You’re hungry?” She asked softly and the innocence within the question made his member twitch most impatiently. BREED. Short hard pants came from his mouth and he looked down. For the first time in a long time… damn it to hell… he felt…like a child again. He felt like he was losing his hold on himself. It took so long to master the beast within him…and yet one fucking glance from her made it take hold. Small fingers slipped into his hair and that one touch had him about to explode…BREED. CLAIM. 

    “Kieran…” Her voice was erotically soft and soothing and it fucked with him. Drawing his face upward, she made him look at her. She looked into his eyes, now fully blue, bright and quite pretty. 

    “I’m here…have my blood…” She hushed and he squeezed his eyes shut, turning his head away from her. 

    “No.” 

    “Why?” 

    “Because….I’ll….I’m..I might hurt you.” He confessed with uncertainty in his voice. 

    “You won’t.” A gentle kiss pressed against his forehead. 

    “You won’t hurt me.” Yet again, another one to the bridge of his nose. Taking a deep sigh, he lifted his hands from the bed and slid them around her waist. 

    “Zadie please… this one time… I beg of you…let me go.” 

    “You won’t hurt me.” She repeated, this time a soft kiss against his lips. He now held her tight, seeming to plead with those beautiful blue eyes. But it was for naught. She smiled softly and reached up to pull at her chemise. Down to expose her shoulders. He shivered and licked the corner of his mouth at the abundance of gorgeously rich brown skin. 

    “It’s okay. Anywhere you’d like.” She assured gently. God…she stood in front of him like a lamb to slaughter and so willingly she stayed in place. Not knowing that in fact…he could kill her. He could drain every last bit of blood from her body. As much as he wanted to go right for her carotid artery… he forced himself to settle…on her wrist. He had to settle on not giving in to his desires. But a hair’s length away, her beautiful body was and how he wanted to indulge…plunge into her over and over, until he couldn’t feel where he started and she began. He wanted to make the sweetest of love to her…slow…steady. And yet he also wanted to fuck her…fast. Rough. So hard and so deep that she cried tears. Until…her body could not take any more pleasure… Bloody fucking hell. 

    He felt like an animal, the way his tongue eagerly tasted the thin fragile flesh of her wrist. A low growl escaped his mouth as he kissed the offering, feeling the healthy thump of her heartbeat against his lips. He could feel the change…the minute her heart started to beat faster and smirked. Yes. Good. He wanted to arouse her until the nectar of her desire bled through her drawers. That too he wanted to taste. Lifting eyes, he found her gaze already glassy and mouth parted. Yes my sweet. I want you just as much. 

    Kissing up her arm, he took in every breath, every hitch, every exhale as he adorned her shoulder with soft sweet pecks. Using her wrist, he pulled her closer, reaching down to lift a leg of hers onto the bed. She allowed him to pull her into his lap, her free hand on his chest. Brushing noses, she allowed a kiss to her mouth, a sweet, slow fire to burn the flames already sitting in her stomach. She moaned softly as he invaded her mouth with his tongue, their fingers intertwining. Wetly sharing one last kiss, she bit her lip as he lifted her wrist to his mouth. With one last lick, he exposed his fangs.

She watched in slight horror and slight excitement as he gently bit down, piercing the skin. She gasped and tried to yank her arm back…simply by reflex. The pain radiated up her arm but she forced herself to stay still. Amazingly, the pain began to lessen and a warm feeling began to travel down her arm. Taken aback, she felt it travel down her entire right side. When it came to her hip, it seemed like a match struck and her whole nether regions instantly became dewy, soaking through her drawers. She moaned a little louder than before, wondering what manner of witchcraft this was. Her entire body felt..hot…light…like he had fingers, hands and lips all over her. She bit her lip and leaned her head back, her breathing labored and heavy. 

    “K-Kieran….” He took a few more thirsty gulps before detaching from her. MATE READY. BREED. Using his tongue, he licked at the wounds, making her wiggle on his lap a bit. Letting go of her wrist, he pulled her body down to lay on the bed. 

    “What…what happened?” She tried to ask, eyes still glossed over. Kissing her forehead, he smiled, teeth and fang on display. The action caused her to reach up and tease one of them. 

    “Pretty…” Taking her hand, he kissed her fingers and soon pulled her to lay beside him. 

    “Thank you…Zadie…” She couldn’t explain why she suddenly felt sleepy and tried to answer him, instead falling asleep nice and sound. He held her close, stroking her arm, pleased in the healing already taking place where he’d punctured her. Her blood told him everything he needed to know. Sweet, fulfilling and smooth, it felt like a warm pleasant confection slipping down his throat. Though he needed no sleep, he closed his eyes against her, ears taking in each and every sound around them. 

 

 

***

 

    “Father.” Turning, identical eyes looked at each other. 

    “Ciarán…what troubles you.”

    “How do you know when one is your mate?” The bold blunt question made the man laugh and he lifted a hand to his silky black hair. 

    “Her blood will tell you.” 

    “Tell me what?”

    “If she desires to be mated to you. If she is willing to take your seed. If she will be faithful to you for the rest of eternity should you two wish it.” Young fascinated eyes blinked. 

    “One’s blood can tell you all of that?” Smiling, his father nodded. 

    “Yes. You also will know by another thing.”

    “And that is?”

    “The blood of your mate will be the most pleasant thing you’ll drink. It will be sweet to the taste and will fill you quickly. It will not be required to take much of it to fulfill a feed.” 

    “Really?”

    “Indeed.”

    “So Mother…”

    “Everything I have told you… it was this way with her. That is how I knew.” 

    “Hm.” Rustling the boy’s hair, he grinned. 

    “This isn’t something you can rush. When it is time.. no matter how long or how old you get. When it is time… it will be time.” 

 






Chapter End Notes:

 

A/N: This chapter made me feel a lot of emotions. For Kieran to tell our Zadie that it's not her fault for anything that happened... that did something to me. This whole chapter gave me Abel Nightroad vibes *swoon* The tender way that he confessed his feelings for her...down to the scene where she lets him drink her blood. It all gave me butterflies. Another highlight of mine is when he asks her how she would feel if he purchased her freedom.

When I tell you the LOVE this man has for her. He's been gone for four years. Entirely too long I know. I had someone in the comments ask me why it took him so long to come for her. Ideally, I think it would have. He would not have just been able to storm the Nolan Manor and grab her. lol. Even with the amount of money he had and the connections he re-established. Good things take time. And he, dears, had wanted to make sure everything was in order before he made that move. He has a plan. Trust and believe. hehe. See y'all next chapter 'kay? Love y'all! 

D&L~







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Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.