“Montell, what are you doing here?” I asked, with the feeling of fear and nervousness coursing through my body. The girls and I hadn’t seen nor heard from him for almost a year. Having your children’s absent father randomly appear on a family trip that he wasn’t notified of or privy to was not a good sign, nor did it leave a good feeling. And if his appearance was any type of hint that something wasn’t right, then every siren, red flag and any other warning signal known to man was going off. 

He looked awful. His hair that he once used to take pride in and brushed day and night to have his defined waves was now an unkempt afro and in dire need of a haircut and a shave. His clothes were stained and he smelled of alcohol and weed. It also looked like he lost some weight too. 

I stood up because I didn’t feel comfortable having his 5’11” frame standing over us as if he was in control. After examining him, my intuition was shouting at me to be on guard. This man wasn’t just operating under the influence of alcohol. Something else was in his system, and it was stronger than marijuana. Without taking my eyes off him, I spoke to the girls, “Edie and Pen, why don’t you two go take a bathroom break before the band comes back.”

Knowing better than to argue with me, they simply replied “Yes, mama.” They also knew it was code for go find a safe space and call Callie. 

“Hold up! You two aren’t going to speak to your father? You both are just as disrespectful as your damn mama.” He expressed with disdain. 

The girls stood frozen in place. I could feel their energy. They were ready to attack. I knew that training from Callie was kicking into high gear. I had to gain control of the situation. “Girls, say hello to your father and go to the restroom, now.”

“Hi,” they mumbled and both left together. 

Once they were out of earshot, I was ready to let this dude have it. “Montell, what the hell are you doing here? Are you stalking us?” I asked straight up. 

He laughed with an evil tone. “Don’t flatter yourself. I have just as much rights to my daughters that you do.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Had you not missed the court date two years ago, you wouldn’t have lost what little bit of rights that you did have. Remember you were so high out of your mind that you didn’t show up.”

“The government can’t dictate if I can or can’t see my children!”

“You’re right, they can’t. But I sure as hell can. I told you, you need to sober up before you see them. And clearly you’re under the influence of something right now.”

“Look, I ain’t gotta explain myself to you. I’m just trying to see my kids. Have you given any more thought about putting them in show business?” He asked seemeing a bit more focused yet antsy and at this turn of the subject.

Placing my hands on my hips I sighed heavily, “Like I told you, then and like I’m telling you now, the answer is ‘no.’ They’re not ready for that. Do you know how many vultures are in the industry waiting to eat them alive?! You know what I went through. So why would you think I would put them through that as children? When they’re 16 or 17 I’ll entertain the idea, but for now only school, friends and family is their main priority. Music is just a hobby for now,” I said with finality. 

“Why can’t you just ask the girls what they want to do? It’s not about you. Let them live, Sophia. Damn, you can’t keep them babies forever.”

“Live?! They’re only 12. They don’t need pressure on them to push out record after record or be subjected to comments that will challenge their self esteem. They’re still growing and developing. They’re not cash cows!”

“It’s not about money, Sophia!” Montell said tiredly. 

“Yes, it is. Otherwise you wouldn’t be pushing this so hard. When was the last time you saw them? As a matter of fact, which one was Eden and which one was Aspen? You know, the better question is how much do you owe this time?” I asked. I was tired of beating around the bush with him. He came all this way to corner me. Now it was my turn to find out what he was up to. 

“You have always been an uppity bitch. I hated how you acted like you were too good for everything and everybody, including me.” He remarked, never answering any of my questions. 

“So because I won’t let your 12 year old daughters support your drug habit, I’m uppity? You can miss me with that b.s. And what you’re NOT going to do, is pimp my daughters to the music industry like you tried to do to me. So tell the drug dealer, that you’ve been ducking and dodging, that you’re flat out broke and take your punishment like a man! You thought because I don’t talk to you, you mother doesn't reach out to me?” I snapped. 

All of a sudden, I felt his hand come across my face. He slapped me so hard my ear started ringing. I heard gasps and people yelling at him. But I stood there in shock for a few seconds and snapped out of it. “That’s the last time you’ll ever put your hands on me and today is the last day you’ll ever see the twins.” 

I was ready to walk away leaving the blanket and food. I didn’t bring a purse. My ID, cards and phone were in my pockets. I was willing to be the bigger person because if I stayed, I would’ve killed this man. Turning to walk away, he grabbed my hair in the back of my head. “Where do you think your ass is going? Don’t you dare leave when I’m talking to your ass, bitch!”

I didn’t scream or yell, I just went into self defense mode. 

Because he was holding me by my hair, I stopped moving forward and put both of my hands behind my head and grabbed his hand that gripped my hair, with both of mine. I pulled my elbows down and bent forward at the waist and began to spin out of his grip. This motion ended up twisting his arm, causing him to yell out in pain. Making me happy on the inside. 

Because I still had his arm twisted, he let go of me as I now faced him. He turned his body to the side, slightly to get some relief, but moving quickly, I brought my knee up and stomped down on the back of his knee joint, bringing him down to the ground. 

I straddled him and started firing blow after blow on his face. “Don’t you ever in your life touch me again. Or I will kill you!”

He was screaming and crying, begging me to stop while trying to cover his head. “I put up with a lot because you’re the father of my children, but I’m done with this shit.” I wasn’t letting up on my assault. “You have no kids. Those two are mine and mine alone. They aren’t for sale. If you try anything else. I will end you myself. We don’t owe your ass a damn thing. Be a mother fucking man, for once in your life!” As I was about to wrap my hands around his neck, I felt arms wrap around my waist pulling me up and away.  

“Let me go!” I screamed and started kicking at Montell’s body. 

“No, you did enough damage.” The voice calmly spoke to me. 

“The hell I did. He hit me and he’s still alive. I need to finish him,” I answered. 

“Don’t worry about it, he’ll be taken care of,” the voice said with finality. 

For some reason that calmed me down. They must have felt it too, because they let me go. I turned to face the owner of the voice. My eyes widened. “Please don’t tell him.” Then I began crying my eyes out once I realized what had taken place.

The man wrapped me in his arms and I heard the twins asking if I was okay, but I couldn’t answer them, because my tears wouldn’t stop. I was so angry about a lot of things and it was all coming to a head. The man asked the girls to show him where the car was, they told him we walked here so he said to follow him as he carried me bridal style to his pickup truck. 

The girls hesitated before they got in looking at the man warily. “Trust me,” he smiled. “I may not look like it, but I’m the good guy.” 

“Mom,” Eden called out to me, ignoring his words. 

I nodded to let her know that we were safe. 

“Just so you know, if you try anything, our auntie taught us three forms of martial arts and we are not afraid to use them,” Eden warned. 

“That sounds fair,” he stated. 

I was placed in the front seat, mute and staring at nothing. I heard the voices of my daughter and rescuer, but I couldn’t get myself to focus on their conversation. Never in my life have I ever been hit by a man. My own father never slapped me. Sure, he spanked me when I was little because I was out of line, but NEVER had my father or any man I dealt with put their hands on me to belittle me, until today. 

I feel like I'm having an outer body experience. Oh my goodness! Did the girls see what happened?! I can feel my breathing pattern changing again. It was now heavier and more labored. What if the girls saw what happened? They had to have seen their father laying on the picnic blanket bloodied and crying like the little bitch he was.

“I. Can’t. Breathe.” I croaked. 

“Calm down, Soph.” The man said. 

“Mommy, what’s wrong? Why are you breathing like that? Do you need a doctor? Should I call Auntie Bianca and Auntie Leslie this time? ” Aspen asked in a panicked tone. 

Oh shit, I hadn’t considered my sisters finding out about this! “Can’t. Breathe. Girls… Saw... What… Hap… Pened… Sisters… Will… Be… Mad.”

“The driver must’ve known what I was talking about, because he answered my concerns, “Your sisters will be upset, but not with you. And the twins didn’t see anything. Everything was cleared up immediately”

Still fighting to find my breath, I looked over at him strangely, and asked “What… Do… You… Mean?” 

Everything went black. 

******

I woke up in a bedroom that was unfamiliar to me. With a slight headache and great thirst for water. Everything that happened this evening came flashing back. How could such a beautiful moment turn so ugly? Montell unleashed a side of me that I work hard to keep and check, but when you cross my boundaries the gloves come off and I will do what I have to in order to protect myself. 

I was glad it was Theo that stopped me from going too  far, because I was dead serious about killing Montell. I didn’t forget that I instructed him not to tell Gunnar. I needed to keep my distance from him as well, something was off about him this entire time I’ve been back to Laurel Springs, the random questions and the two-timing was throwing me off. 

I could take care of myself. His interference would only complicate things and I don’t want to get between him and his girlfriend’s relationship. 

I decided to get up from the bed and find the homeowner and my children. Walking in the hallway I heard voices talking about the history of music and how it changed throughout the years. I followed the sound of the voices. 

Though I was nervous to talk to my daughters and see how they were doing, I couldn’t put it off forever. They were in the kitchen, but before I made my presence known, something told me to wait. 

“So, is anyone going to tell us what’s going on?” Aspen asked aloud. 

There was silence for a second, “C’mon, Auntie Callie, we know something went down when our dad showed up. I know our mom and Grandma Evelyn tried to cover up his absence, but our father is a bum!” Eden said. 

“Eden!” Callie scolded. 

“What?” She asked. “He used to text and email us asking for money.”

“He did what?” Callie shouted. I could tell she was getting angry. I was too. 

“He asked us for money. At first we thought it was a joke because he kept telling us we could be music stars and make a bunch of money.” Eden further explained. 

“Yeah, but don’t worry, we never gave him anything. We talked to Grandma Evelyn about him, because we figured since she probably saw her son more than we ever did, we thought she could help us,” Aspen added. 

“Did she?” Theo asked my girls nicely, but I could tell the nerd was upset too. 

“Yes,” Eden admitted. “When we told her, she said to send her screenshots of what he sent us. We could tell she was mad, because she started cursing under her breath. She apologized and told us to block his number and email address and she would take care of him.

We did what we were told. And we didn’t hear anything else from him.”

“You tell your mom?” Theo followed up. 

“No,” Eden answered. “We thought because Grandma Ev took care of it, we didn’t have to worry any more and plus we love her and we didn’t want mom to make us stop seeing her.”

“I get it,” Callie replied, “But you should’ve told somebody something. You can’t leave stuff like this unspoken. And I know Ms. Evelyn didn’t tell your mom because I know she would’ve told me,” she answered with finality. 

The front door opened and slammed. “Where is everybody?” A voice called out. 

I rolled my eyes. I thought I told Theo not to tell. Snitch! He lost a few cool points with me. 

“Hey! You’re the one that kept staring at our mom when she was singing at Auntie Bianca’s wedding!” Eden exclaimed. 

“Wait, don’t you have a girlfriend? It’s kinda late, you should be home with her,” Aspen declared. 

That's just like Aspen to be the one that tries to keep everyone in their place, I grinned to myself. Tell him baby girl, so he can go home and I can continue to avoid him. 

“Her name is Alexandria, and she’ll be fine. And for the record, I wasn’t staring,” he responded. “I was paying attention like any good audience member would do.”

The girls and Callie started laughing their heads off. “Really, bro?” Theo asked. 

“He’s funny. He’d be good for mama. Too bad he has a girlfriend though. She’s not a home wrecker and she won’t start now either.” Eden told her twin.

“Wait, what makes you two think that your mom would be interested in someone like him,” Callie asked, trying to get them to spill some tea.

“She would kill us if we told,” she was quiet for a few seconds, but decided to continue on. “One day we asked her about having crushes and her first love. And though she didn’t mention any names, the guy she described looks just like him, just older and because this town is small and probably hardly gets any new people we figured it might be him.” Aspen dished. 

“So are you our mom’s first love?” Eden asked. I could tell she knew the answer. She only needed him to confirm it. 

Before he could answer. I had to stop it. This was not The Parent Trap. And they were not Hallie and Annie or Sharon and Susan, (you pick whichever version you like best). And most importantly I wasn’t going to fall in love with him again. 

“Hey, y’all.” I said, stepping into the kitchen. 

“Hey, sis. How do you feel?” Callie asked. 

“Small headache and really thirsty,” I answered honestly. 

“Come sit here, mommy,” Aspen tapped an empty bar stool between her and her sister. 

I went to join them. “Mr. Theo made some—”

“What did I tell you about that ‘Mr.’ stuff?” Theo asked. 

“Fine, I just had to do it in front of my mom so she wouldn’t think we were being rude,” Eden responded. “Okay, Mom. Theo made some sandwiches for us and there’s one left over for you.”

“That sounds nice sweetheart.” I replied. 

She went to get the sandwich and bottled water out of the refrigerator. 

“I’ll go get the medicine,” Callie offered. 

“Do you even know where my medicine cabinet is?” Theo asked. 

“No, but I can figure it out.”

“So you can roam freely through my place? No thanks. Come on,” Theo took Callie’s hand and left the kitchen. 

“I feel like watching tv,” Aspen said. 

“Me too, let’s go!” Eden said. They both left the room.

And then there were two. 

“If you’re going to ask what happened, I’m sure you already know, Detective. I’m not in the mood to think or talk about it.” I switched the bottle of water from one hand to the other.

“Okay then, why didn’t you tell anybody that you knew he was in town?” 

I froze and looked up at him. Busted. Granted, I may or may not have been in denial about the amount of times Montell has contacted me, but it was always on some get rich quick scheme b.s. or him cursing me out because I kept ignoring his messages and calls, but in my defense I never responded.

You see, the thing is that even though I’m very much independent and love challenges. I had a knack for either turning a blind eye or downplay situations that make me highly uncomfortable. Case and point: Montell. His unpredictability, his rage and his desperation terrifies me. So I brush off a lot of what has been really going on. I just don’t want everyone worrying about me. Because worrying turns to pity and judgement. Two things I could do without. 

“He harasses me all of the time and 99.9% of the time he’s all talk. Do you honestly think that I would volunteer information to someone I don’t want near me?” I answered him nonchalantly. 

Ignoring my question, Gunnar pressed on. “Harass you?! Hold up, so you were lying to me at the hotel bar when I asked when was the last time you’d heard from him. You said it was when he snapped on you for not letting the girls do music publicly. So was that really the last time?”

“Am I under investigation or something?” I asked, getting defensive, moving uncomfortably in my seat.

“No, but your well-being matters to me. Why did you lie to me?”

I laughed. “Stop being so dramatic. I omitted some things, but I didn’t lie to you. Montell talks to me. I, on the other hand, never responded to him since that time he went off. And if I mattered to you, then let’s figure out why you tried and failed to start something up with me knowing you had a girl at home?” 

“What does Ally have to do with this,” he sighed. 

I leaned forward with a smile. “A lot.”

Ignoring my attempts to deflect from the subject at hand, he continued on with his questioning. “Sophia, quit playing. Why did you omit, as you put it, the truth?”

”I’m not playing and most importantly you’re not my man. I don’t owe you a rundown on my life. Did you really expect me to come back home and spill my guts to you? But I’ll admit this, it was cute how you thought you could butter me up to get some info. And now all of a sudden my well-being matters… to you. 

I literally haven’t talked to you in years and it’s like the minute you saw me at Bianca’s wedding, you were interested in me again. Since I’ve been here I can’t get you to stop talking to or eyeballing me whenever we’re in the same room. And there may be some tension between us, but don’t try to cheapen what we had for a case you’re working on. The least you can do is be upfront. 

You haven’t called or emailed me since I told you to make a choice to either stay or go. You left, came back here and started a whole new life without me. You couldn’t even bother to send a damn reply to a simple ‘happy birthday’ text I send to you every year.” It's scary how fast a woman’s intuition works. 

“I also know that you’re not the type to sleep around or cheat on whoever you’re with. Just admit that I am a job to you. I happened to come into town for a wedding where you know the groom,” I put up one finger. “I stayed longer than expected.” I added another finger. “We travel in the same circles so that’s easier access for you so I wouldn’t have a clue on what you were up to,” I put up a third finger. “It was the perfect opportunity to get what you needed. No wonder you kept asking me about what Montell was up to and if he and I tried making things work every time every time you see me. He must be a part of one of your cases.”

No response, but his silence told me I was right about two things. Montell was in trouble and Gunnar saw me as an opportunity. 

“Well, Detective Brock. You’ve managed to not only be my first and only love, but you also managed to truly break my heart more than Montell did tonight.”

“It’s not like that, you know you mean more to me than any job I’ve ever had.” He finally spoke. 

“Quit lying to me!” I hit the counter top. “You think Jacqueline wasted anytime telling me about you and Ally? Even though my sisters are gung-ho on me getting back with you, the whole town knows about you two, just like I’m sure they all know about my incident today. You tried to get me to fall into the trap of those blue eyes and smooth talk all for some clues about a crackhead that I’m trying to avoid like the plague? Is this what we’ve come to? You pump me for information, then you get to go back to your perfect home with Miss Universe and you both can live your perfect lives. 

No outside kids, no baby mama or baby daddy drama to deal with. I really wish you had been honest with me from the minute you came up to me at the hotel. I probably would’ve told you everything, but now You're a stranger to me now, because the Gunnar I knew and loved wouldn’t have dared to come at me like you've been doing lately. I don’t know you, so I don’t trust you. You led me on and used me. I’m all for personal growth, but I don’t like this new you.”

I left my food and water andi went to the living room to watch tv with my daughters. At this moment anyone outside of my immediate family could not be trusted. Absolutely no one. 

Only one good thing came out of this night. New lyrics. Every album needed a good heartbreak song.