1948 

Mid- January 

Kurashiki, Japan 

    The crunch of snow filled the road, and up above the sky let large snowflakes loose, cold and icy as they fell upon the flesh of arm. Cheeks and noses were deep red and hands were nearly frozen. Up above, the steam of a chimney gave hearts a beat or two more and feet hurried. Sliding thick wooden doors back, two slipped inside. 

    “Ah! Welcome back!” 

    “Tadaima.” 

    “Come in and dry off.” The two followed a woman into the house, sliding off their wet cold shoes for slippers. The house felt warm and cozy, like a comforting blanket. 

    “Minato! Ichiro-kun and his wife are back!” Feet led them to the sitting room and at once, they lowered to sit. The man’s eyes were kind and friendly and he smiled boyishly. 

    “We won’t be here long, Minato-kun. Just until we get settled.”

    “Off the plane and already you’re burdening yourself.” Those eyes fell to her who sat next to him, legs tucked to the side of her. Lifting a cup of hot tea to his lips to blow, Minato grinned. 

    “I didn't think you’d come home with a wife.”

    “Fiancee. We’re not legally married yet.”

    “Who needs a paper when in your heart you are already married?” He watched his friend’s cheeks grow pink. 

    “I understand. And hey, don’t worry yourself Ichiro-kun. You haven’t been home for more than a couple of weeks. Relax.” 

    “You didn’t have to let us stay here… I’m indebted to you.”

    “Stop. You’re family.” He offered no argument and bowed toward Minato’s mother who brought in cups of warm tea. 

    “You’ve always had a place here, Ikki. Don’t forget that you and Mina-chan are like brothers.” Bowing his head lower, the woman gently pat his head. 

    “What is your name, dear?” Blinking at the woman’s question, the woman appeared frazzled as she tried to think of the words to respond. 

    “Ah…Bea-Beatrice. My name is Beatrice.” The older woman smiled at her and beckoned her with a hand. 

    “Please help me in the kitchen, Beatrice-san.” 

    “Of course, madam.” The men watched her get up and soon the women were gone. 

    “How’d you meet her?” Minato asked, lifting the kettle of steaming tea. 

    “It’s…a long story.”

    “We have nothing but time.” 

    “1943. Shanghai. Some jazz club.” Lifting eyebrows in surprise, the man across from him put the cup down. 

    “Shanghai, huh? You were stationed there?”

    “Correct.”

    “What was she doing there?”

    “She’s a singer.”

    “Ah,”

    “My comrade pestered me to go so much that I went just to shut him up.”

    “And, that’s when you saw her.” Cheeks glowing red, he opted not to reply. 

    “With all respect to you, she’s a beautiful woman.” 

    “Hm.” 

    “It’s not every day that a man like you gets with a woman like that.” His eyes lifted to those of his friend. 

    “It’s good to see you pave your own way.” 

    “Things will be difficult for her and I.”

    “They’ll be difficult only if you make them difficult.” He swallowed. 

    “Our country has just encountered one of the greatest tragedies in the modern world. You bringing a black American woman back to Kurashiki is honestly the least of everyone’s worries.” Minato smirked. Scowling now, he lifted annoyed eyes upward once more. 

    “You sound like one of those fucking monks Mina-kun. In your father’s books?” 

    “I’ve reached a moment of enlightenment, yes.”

    “Enlightenment my ass.”

    “Still put off by Buddhism hm?”

    “I’m more of a Shinto man. You know this.”

    “We’ll agree to disagree. No one way is right.” The two friends grew quiet. 

    “She’s good for you. Your Beatrice.” 

    “Is she?”

    “She’s changed you.”

    “Is that a good or bad thing?” 

    “Our fathers and our grandfathers would tell us that women were useless. Their purpose and their destiny are tied to the home. What good is a woman if she can bear no children or please her husband? Remember my father asking yours that?” 

    “Hm.”

    “My wife Etsuko has provided a different outlook. Because of her, I’ve changed my thoughts towards the opposite sex.” He was more than intrigued now but kept his facial expression neutral. 

    “It is my belief now that the yin is just as powerful as the yang. Together, when merged, that is when one reaches enlightenment.” 

    “Women are divine you’re saying.” Minato’s eyes teased him. 

    “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”  

    “And what makes a woman divine, Mina-kun?” 

*** 

      Hands dipped into a basin and pulled out stalks of leek. Laying them flat on a piece of teak, a knife began to cut. 

    “You don’t have to be afraid, dear. We welcome you here.” The poor thing stood by the doorway, looking out of place and nervous. She’d been given one of her kimonos from her younger days, dark sage cotton with hand-embroidered cream lilies. Her obi had been tied in a simple yet elegant pattern and her hair had been fashioned into two braids, each hanging down her shoulders. 

    “Thank you for your hospitality, madam.”

    “Auntie Junko.”

    “Auntie?” She appeared confused. 

    “You are special to our Ikki. Therefore, you are now family to us.” She felt her throat grow tight. She had the question on the tip of her tongue but the woman seemed to hear it and responded over the calm steady chop of white onion. 

    “We are a simple and humble people, Beatrice. A people of dirt, earth, and water. What matters to us is the heart.” Stopping the chopping, older smiling eyes glanced around at her. 

    “It does not matter to us what color you are on the outside. Should your heart be pure and call Ichiro its owner, everything else will come easy.” She resumed and finished chopping the onion. 

    “As I’m sure you know, Ikki has lost his remaining family. His father died when he was young. His mother and grandmother were all he had left.” Yes, she was well aware, the memory of his crumpled weeping body graced her mind. 

    “We were deeply grieved to hear that Riko-chan and Granny Yasu were killed by the bomb. So many lives were lost in Nagasaki too. It grieves me still.” Now to carrots and those she sliced nice and thin. 

    “Ichiro has always been a quiet boy. Never one for trivialities or nonsense. Very much methodical and rigid, just like his father.” A small smile slipped up onto the lips of Junko. 

    “He never had a man to guide or shape him after his death and his only hope was that of the military, the one thing left of his father he had. Riko-chan tried but her feminine touch would disrupt the masculine energy within him. Without you, he’d be lost beyond finding.” 

    “Me?”

    “His eyes are empty and cold…lifeless. But, when he looks at you, light and love make them glitter. You breathe life into him.” Speechless now, she watched as the woman continued, cooking and talking as though she was a friend. 

    “In his heart, he desires to be your family. With you now as all he has, I believe he will finally begin his metamorphosis from a caterpillar into a butterfly.” Setting the blade down, she turned to dump the freshly chopped vegetables into a hearty-smelling broth. 

    “You must learn how to let go of the deep crippling fear within you so you can nurture him when he reaches his final stage.” There was something about this older woman… her presence like a warm and deep hug. How was it that she’d just met her and already could see so clearly what she tried to hide? 

    “Your yin energy has been fragmented. But, she is there and she can be saved and made strong again.” Tears welled up in her eyes. 

    “How?” She breathed quietly. Outstretching her hand, she gently took hold of hers and pulled her closer. 

    “Take time to reunite with her. Don’t be afraid or ashamed of her. Let her free.” 

*** 

    Keys jingled and boots crunched the snow. Breath released as mist now in the frozen air and brown cheeks were icy. Gripping her bag, she headed up the familiar pathway. It had been months since she’d been back. Setting the bag on the porch, she lifted her fingers to unlock the door. House warm, she blinked in surprise as she stepped in. Meredith. 

    “Mere?” Though the house was warm, it was empty of life. Placing her keys on the kitchen counter. Everything was in its place as if they had merely stepped out for a winter hike. Feeling her eyes grow teary, she sighed and closed the door behind her. 

    Sliding off her boots, she felt an overwhelming presence, a presence familiar and bittersweet. Grandpa. It was strange that she could suddenly smell his cologne, the one Grandma liked the most. She remembered as a little girl watching her. He’d sit at the table for breakfast, a blend of Japanese and American foods before them. Leaving the stove, she’d wrap her arms around him and press her nose just underneath his ear. It always seemed funny watching her smell him. He’d do nothing but smile, allowing her to do as she wished and when she’d finally pull away and return from the stove, his eyes would glance up at her. 

    So that scent seemed to beckon her and her throat choked with tears, she was helpless to permit restraint. Her feet followed the warm woodsy smell and felt her hands shake as it led her to the doors of his office. Go inside. It seemed to say. 

    “Jii-chan…” Sweaty palms lifted to the doors and slowly, pushed them open. Eyes widening at the scene before her, she felt her knees grow weak. Sitting at the desk was Takeru Ito and he typed furiously, seemingly in a trance of some sort. The room had been cleaned and dusted, the objects and papers once sprawled across the desk surface now neatly displayed or put away. He looked different, once a clean-shaven face now had a short neat, and trimmed mustache and beard. His hair was long enough now past his shoulders and he’d left it as was. She couldn’t lie and say it didn’t look glorious. 

    “Takeru?” At the sound of her voice, his fingers paused. For a moment, both of them stared at one another, it being months since one had seen the other. She supposed she’d changed too in the time away from the house. She’d cut her hair and pressed it, the strands now bob-length. She had gained a bit of weight after the funeral but it still carried well. 

    “Sami…hi.” She didn’t remember his voice sounding so strong and sure before and it made her drop her mouth some. 

    “H-hey…um…” 

    “Long time no see, stranger.” 

    “Yeah… you could… could say that.” He sat back in his chair and smiled at her, his eyes warm as she remembered them. 

    “You cleaned up in here.”

    “I’m trying to take care of what he left us.” 

    “Us?”

    “What’s in here is just as much yours as it is mine. More yours than mine anyway.” 

    “Hm.” 

    “Come on in. I won’t bite.” Swallowing, she slowly inched closer, awe written all over her face. He’d managed to restore the room to its glory days, the wood polished and shiny. He’d had the carpet removed and exposed the original wooden floors, a nice gloss to them too. The clock he’d fixed and the uniforms that had been shoved into crates now were on display, clean and free of dust. 

    “It looks amazing in here, Take.” He smiled so deep that his eyes grew narrow with a smile of their own and crinkled up in the corners. She felt her heart beat faster. 

    “Thanks.” Setting them on her, he sighed. 

    “How’ve you been baby girl?” Spit thick, she tried to swallow it down and not choke, clearing her throat before answering. 

    “Fine…I mean…not fine but fine.” He nodded, understanding perfectly. 

    “I’ve gained weight. My mother would call me fat.”

    “Who cares what your mother would say.” He answered, voice now a bit firm. 

    “You look beautiful.” Brown cheeks turned pink. 

    “You’ve certainly changed. Beard, long hair. What’s up with that?” 

    “What about it?” Crossing her arms, she pursed her lips. 

    “It’s not like you.”

    “I was scared of a lot of things ‘Sami. Scared to be me…scared of your grandfather. I was a complete coward.” Running fingers through those thick obsidian locks, he glanced down at his laptop. 

    “He didn’t leave here without teaching me a few things.” His eyes looked back up at her. 

    “I’ve gone through nearly everything and I want to give them and their stories justice. They deserve to have it told the way they were…unfiltered and raw.” 

    “Take,”

    “By the end of this year, I think I’ll be done.” Closer she came and she glanced down at the manuscript nice and neat on the laptop screen. 

    “You didn’t have to…do any of this.” 

    “I wanted to. I needed to do this for me too, Sami. I’m doing my best.” Sniffling, she wrapped arms around him and hugged him, pressing her face against his shoulder. 

    “Thank you…” Lifting a hand, he gently caressed her hair.

*** 

    My conversation with Minato was strange. I felt like another world had opened up to me. The idea… no the thought of women being divine beings was something I couldn’t understand. As he spoke, I listened, not forming opinions or assumptions about anything. 

*** 

    “My father gave this to me and I think it would serve you well in your married life.”

    “We’re not married yet.”

    “So you’ve said before, friend.” Minato had gotten up and went over to a chest. Unlocking it, he reached inside and pulled out a paper book. It was old from the looks of it, the binding to the pages needing rework. 

    “It wasn’t until Etsuko and I shared our first night that I finally believed.”

    “You were that horny, huh?” Grinning, the man came back to the table and placed the book in front of him. 

    “When you and Beatrice share your first night, you’ll understand too.” Fingers lifted the cover and flipped it back, freezing at what was beneath him. A drawing of a female sex organ stared back at him and he lifted his eyes, mouth deep in a frown. 

    “You’re fucking kidding me.” Minato sipped his tea, a smirk on his face. 

    “The female orifice serves as a portal. The place you wish to go and the heaven you wish to find is inside of her, Ichiro-kun.” Throat tight, he glanced back down at the drawing. Ornate and beautiful the woman’s genitals were depicted as flowery. To add to the emphasis, flower petals surrounded her. The image was drawn inside of what appeared to be a traditional mirror and a poem of reverence was created near the left-hand side. 

    “Take it with you. Read. Study and learn. Consider it an early wedding gift.” Closing the book, he placed it down by his leg. The shoji slid open and in stepped the two women, carrying a large pot. Kneeling down carefully, they placed it on top of a burner filled with hot coal. 

    “Dinner is served.” Schooching next to him, Beatrice gave him a smile. 

    “It looks delicious. Ms. Beatrice, you helped?” Cheeks girlish and pink, she nodded. The sight of her was so irresistible that he lifted her chin and made her look at him, her blush now deepening. 

    “She did well for her first time. She’ll be prepared to feed you in no time, Ikki.” Eyes now warm, he took those same fingers and brushed her cheek. 

    “I’m sure she will.” Smiling to herself, she began to lift the ladle, spooning fresh broth, meat, and vegetables into pretty decorative bowls. 

*** 

    Our stay with Minato and his mother was pleasant in the months to come. It pleased me to see Bea grow accustomed to our daily life and routine. In the mornings, she’d rise with Aunt Junko, and together, they’d go to the forest, heavily bundled with coats and baskets. They’d pick fresh winter berries, fingers cold and red from rubbing the snow from them. She seemed to enjoy foraging and would proudly show me what she’d discovered upon their return. 

    Minato and I would rise early also and we took to chopping firewood and cleaning. When we were done, I would go into the village center and offer blacksmith services. I’d been scouted by the owner back in February and it gave me a chance to start earning an income. When I’d return and see her there waiting for me, I’d lift her hands, take them into my own and warm her fingers with my warmth. I’d steal a kiss from her lips and she’d push me away playfully. As blissful as this was, as much as I wanted to stay…I knew that the time to leave was approaching. 

*** 

Mid-March 

    “Will she stay with us?” 

    “I don’t know.” The smoke of a pipe drifted into the air. 

    “It would do well for her to stay and let me prepare her properly.”

    “If she wishes to go with Ikki then she is free to.” 

    “Of course. I just miss having female company.” Lips smiled and a head leaned back against an open window. Winter still clung to the air but spring was on the horizon. 

    “I know, Mother.” 

    “She will make a good wife to him already. She just needs more time to heal.” 

    “What happened to her?” Another female voice asked, head now against the chest of her husband. 

    “Her innocence was taken and her spirit was violated.” 

    “She confided this in you, Mother?” The woman nodded and with a solemn expression took another inhale of the sweet tobacco. 

    “Her aura is heavy and it weeps as though it is grieving.” 

    “Gods…”

    “She has left her family in America and she misses her mother greatly.”

    “Poor girl,”

    “Etsuko, you’ve done well taking her under your wing. She needs a sister to mind and keep her.” 

    “She’s a sweet girl. I don’t mind at all.”

    “And Minato, you as a brother figure. It’s important for her to see that she is worth protecting.” He bowed his head. 

    “We must allow these two to grow apart for a while. In order for the marriage to be harmonious, they require separate time.” 

    “If that is the will of the gods then it is so.” 

*** 

    Sweat beaded on her forehead and her legs were about killing her but she remained crouched, fanning the old fashion stove. In a floral shirtdress, she’s tied up her hair with a scarf. Ichiro had surprised her one day with a few dresses from back home. 

    She had gotten used to the kimono but there was something so special and sweet about wearing her own clothes. Deciding that the fire had been stoked enough, she lifted to stand. It was still quite chilly outside even though April was approaching so she thought a stew would be appropriate.  

    Lifting the blade, she slowly cut the carrots. She was nowhere as good as Auntie Junko but she liked to think that she was getting better. Her hand was still clumsy but she was getting it mighty fine. 

    “Little Sister,” Looking up to see Etsuko, she placed the wide blade down. 

    “Hi,” 

    “What are you doing?”

    “What’s it look like?” Grinning, the older woman came to her side and hugged her. 

    “Ah, we’ve got carrots hm?”

    “Mmhm.” She’d found out that Etsuko knew English a few weeks ago and from there, they mostly always conversed in that manner, easing her homesick heart. 

    “I think this is about right hm?” 

    “What?” Glancing over, she found Etsuko holding up a carrot. 

    “Um,”

    “This might be Minato’s size.”

    “Etsuko, what the hell are you doing?”

    “I’m cooking with you, silly.” 

    “No, you’re waving a carrot in my face.” The older woman grinned. 

    “I’m trying to help you here.”

    “By waving a carrot in my face?” Turning to her, she lifted the carrot, a nice and thick one. 

    “Have you heard of yin before, Bea?” 

    “Who?”

    “Yin.”

    “No. What’s that?” 

    “It’s what makes us women.” Swallowing, she watched as Etsuko took hold of the carrot with both of her hands. 

    “It’s what makes us divine, Bea. The femininity inside of you.” 

    “O-okay and… what does that carrot have to do with it?” 

    “This is how you dwell in your power.” To her horror, she began to move her fingers up and down, making her eyes grow wide. 

    “Etsuko, stop…”

    “A married woman must know how to please her husband, Bea. I’m showing you how.” 

    “No…” 

    “There you are, fighting it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not a filthy thing.” Feeling her heart pound, her downcast eyes slowly lifted. 

    “This is a sacred act, little sister. It’s holy.”

    “I-I’ve never seen it like that.” She stuttered as Etsuko moved her hand faster, the water from the basin slipping across and down her fingers. 

    “He’ll do anything you ask and desire because you please his body and spirit. When our men become far too hard and unyielding, we must make them soft again.” She felt a tingle below her waist and watched the woman now with sparked curiosity. 

    “Start slow as before. It depends on what he likes, whether your hand is wet or dry. Starting out, I wet my hand to provide slip. Enjoy yourself. Listen to his breath, the way he groans, the way he responds to your touch.”  Her tongue licked her lips. 

    “When you feel ready, you can take him into your mouth. Take your time with this part and be careful of your teeth.”

    “M-my teeth?”

    “They’re sharp. We don’t want to hurt them.”

    “Oh.” 

    “Like this,” Lifting the carrot to her mouth, she slowly licked the top of it, dragging her tongue up the side of it. Gently she pushed it into her mouth. 

    “Etsuko… I think I got it…” The woman pulled the carrot out of her mouth. 

    “If I made you feel uncomfortable, I apologize. It was meant to be a teachable lesson.” She said again, now putting the carrot aside in the scrap bin. 

    “Embrace your desires and be confident in them, Bea. It’s okay to get lost. He’ll find you.” Smiling gently, the woman gave her a nod in farewell and left her once again by herself.