"Ms. Miller, may I have a word with you?" Following the doctor into the hallway, she gripped her hands tightly behind her. Whatever it was that he was going to say was not good. Her gut just told her so. 

"As you know, we've been sustaining the progression of Mr. Matsuda's laryngeal cancer with medication," 

"Yes." 

"I regret to inform you that despite this, it has metastasized." The news hit her in the gut. 

"It has spread to his lymph nodes. Respectfully, are you aware of what those are?"

"Yes, sir." Nodding, the doctor swallowed and continued grimly, 

"With cancer spreading to a person's lymph nodes, the survival rate is less than 7%." Though she remained quiet, her eyes had started to grow teary. 

"How..." Clearing her throat, she spoke again, voice stronger. 

"How much time does he have?" The doctor, Mr. Williams, had been the family doctor for years and over time had grown to form a bond with everyone, specifically Grandpa. 

"At best, Sami...six weeks." He dropped the professionalism, the distraught emotion on his face mirroring hers. 

"Thank you for letting me know." 

"Of course."

"Does Grandpa know?"

"I just informed him."

"How did he take it?" 

"As usual. No response. Just a nod." Her heart began to break into pieces. 

"I'll return for my weekly visit next week. Perhaps during that time, we can discuss hospice care." 

"Sure." Lifting a hand to her shoulder, he gently squeezed and left her standing in the hallway, closing the door just as she'd begun to cry. 

*** 

Tears wet her cheeks. Grief crippled her and she could not stop shaking. The ride was bumpy and it felt like she'd been in the back of the truck for hours. Inside the dark, others wept and wailed. The stench of vomit and urine filled the space. With a sudden lurch forward, the vehicle stopped. The sound of heavy footsteps traveled around the side of the boxy cabin and at once, the doors to the truck were pulled open. They began to pull and yank them out, ignoring the screams and protests. They spoke in angry harsh Japanese, some of it she understood. 

"Line up! Hurry up!" Fear sliced her in half and she still couldn't stop that damn shaking. 

"Women over here. Men over there. Now!" They all hurried to follow the instructions and she found herself next to a girl who only appeared to be 14 or 15 years old. She had blood on her face and she assumed that her parents had been murdered before the journey. One of the soldiers stepped forward and began to peruse them. Her heart beat so fast she felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. The eyes of the man analyzed everything about them, reaching for their faces. His gaze skimmed everything from their eyebrows to their teeth. 

"Niu," He called to one of the soldiers who came forward with a salute. As he came to a stop right next to her, he grabbed hold of the girl's face beside her. She openly sobbed, squeezing her eyes shut. 

"This one." The soldier came forward and grabbed her, ignoring her pleas and screams. He tightened his grip and pulled her away from the bunch of them. Some of the others, he ordered to be assembled in a line. Those he had no interest in were forced into a small grouping. 

"I will make this clear to you all only once. If you decide to run, these will be your consequences." The one she assumed was of senior rank said, arms crossed behind his back. The women in the line were forced to kneel and blindfolded. Some of them began to sob and plead for help, others began to pray, voices shaky. Without warning, rifles were aimed at them and fired, silencing them all as they fell crumpled in different directions. As if that wasn't enough, the soldiers advanced upon them and began to hoist up some of those who had not been killed. Their groans of pain turned into yells of agony and pain as bayonets were shoved into their bodies over and over again. She felt her legs grow numb and almost went down, save for one who caught her. 

"Don't give them the victory of seeing you fallen." She whispered against her fiercely, tightening her hold on her arms. 

"Stand up." Tears blinded her vision and when she blinked, all was clear but for a moment. Sniffling, she moved her feet to get feeling back in them and slowly stood up straight again. 

"Niu." The officer called to the soldier, who once again, came forward. 

"Sir!" 

"Demonstrate to the females what else will happen should they entertain thoughts of escape." 

"Yes sir!" He turned on his feet and grabbed the poor girl of before, throwing her onto the ground. She began to scream as he crawled on top of her. Lifting a heavy fist, he began to beat her. In between hits, he ripped apart her dress, popping buttons and tearing the fabric open with his bare hands. 

"NO! NO!" She hollered as her breasts came into view. Licking his lips like a hungry animal, he began to help himself to them, shoving her clawed hands back against the dirt. In this time, the woman beside her had grabbed hold of her hand and the two of them gripped each other with a bruising force. 

When the man was done with her top half, he began to unbutton his pants, shoving them down just enough to reveal his erect member. Raising his fist again, he began to batter her until she became silent. Now no longer fighting him, it was easy to lift open her legs and penetrate her. The man wasted no time, humping her with quick fast movements. The bloodied and bruised girl wailed as he roughly plowed into her. A rough grunt left his throat and he pulled out of her, tucking his member back inside of his pants before lifting up to stand. Taking a provided rifle, he knelt once more, a slight distance between them.

To the horror of everyone watching, he began to stab her with the bayonet, fast choppy blows into her sex organs and stomach. The sounds that came from her are ones that no living person should have ever made and they caused several women in their small group to hunch over and vomit. When the soldier was done carving her, he turned the weapon down to aim at her. In the midst of her screaming, he fired a shot to the head, silencing her for good. All this time, the men had been quiet, their faces shiny with tears. 

"Now, let's deal with the males." 

*** 

Drying her eyes, she sniffled and took deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself. She'd have to let her mother know. 

"Sami? You okay?" The voice of Meredith startled her and she cleared her throat, wiping the rest of the tears from her face. 

"Yeah... sorry. Just had a moment." The younger girl smiled sadly. 

"I know it gets to be too much sometimes. Caring for Mr. Matsuda."

"He's definitely not an easy patient is he?" She said, returning Meredith's smile with a watery one of her own. 

"Nope. But I guess at his age, he's deserved the right to be hankty." She laughed some and shook her head, curls from her updo fluttering prettily around her face. 

"I appreciate you Mere. Truly. You're such a lifesaver."

"It's a pleasure to take care of you both." Linking arms with her, she led her back into the living room, where Grandpa sat watching some black and white program on television. Today had been one of the days he was incapable of speaking and she figured it would be good to just leave him be. With the prognosis clear and defined, she'd do what she could to help make the next few weeks comfortable for him. It was all she could do. 

*** 

"It spread?" 

"Yeah."

"How long does Grandpa have Sami?"

"The doctor said six weeks at best."

"Damn."

"Yeah..." 

"I'll have to cancel my business trip. Seeing him right now is the most important thing."

"Yeah Mom, we'd love to see you." Her mother sighed into the phone. 

"I'm sorry sweetheart...that I couldn't be there more." Sorry that I let all the burden of his care fall to you. 

"It's okay Mom...really. I know you're busy. I can't wait to see you. When are you coming?" 

"At the latest, Thursday of next week. I have to move some schedules around." 

"Sure thing."

"Give Grandpa kisses for me. I'll see you soon honey."

"'Kay Mom." Hanging up the phone, she went to do her nightly routine. Hopping in the shower, she washed her hair, an aloe vera and cucumber scent that calmed her nerves. She had made sacrifices. She'd given up on a masters biomedical engineering degree, given up a nice loft apartment in West Seattle and moved cross country to Essex Junction, Vermont to live as an in-house caretaker for her grandpa. It got to be too much and that's when she'd enlisted the help of Meredith part-time.

God was with her and she was able to get a great job as a medical imaging engineer. When hours began to pick up at work, she had enlisted Meredith full-time. The girl, only 19 years old, had become like her little sister and she cared deeply for her. Whatever it was that she needed, she would be there in a heart beat. Sighing under the warm toasty spray of water, she shut off the shower and got out. 

It was funny but after everything winded down, laying in bed and reading her grandfather's diary entries, his letters to his mother, even some that hadn't been sent to Grandma... it was something that she'd slowly but surely been starting to enjoy. It hurt her, yes, to read the suffering he had caused. It pained her to read his own torment. But what gave her hope was the fact that even in his oppression, the love her grandparents had once shared had healed his heart for a time. Getting into bed, she reached for the journal.

***

1944 

Burma

It had been a year since I'd been deployed from Shanghai. Over that time, I'd seen enough carnage to last a lifetime. 

*** 

At long last, he had finished burying his fallen comrades. In the hearts of the living, they would be forever regarded as gods. 

"Matsuda," Turning, he faced his commanding officer. 

"When you're finished, come with me."

"Yes, sir." Heaving the last of the soil over the mound, he wiped the sweat off of his forehead. Putting down the shovel, he had started to head back towards the campsite when a smell stopped him in his tracks. Meat. After a long day of shoveling, his stomach growled ferociously. Hurrying, he came to see comrades sitting by fires, eating a healthy meal of rice, meat, and pickled vegetables. 

"Come sit down Matsuda! Eat." It was pure luck that out of all the battles they'd been in, the garrulous Takahashi said with his mouth full. Scowling, he sat down, a plate handed to him. Digging in, he soaked some of the juice from the meat with the rice. 

"I'm surprised you're still alive." Takahashi spoke, spitting rice into the air. 

"You as well you rambling bastard." He replied, annoyed eyes cutting into him. 

"Don't be like that Matsuda. You're my buddy. I'm your buddy." 

"Fuck you and that stupid system. We're not cadets anymore." The man grinned as they continued to eat.

"All I need now is some pussy and I'd be a happy man."

"That is really all you think about."

"Don't tell me your little pepper didn't grow into a bigger pepper when you saw that Negro bitch on stage." He started laughing and so did others. But he wasn't laughing. 

"I don't know why you didn't fuck her when you had the chance. I hear Negro females like it rough. And we all know you like it rough too." By now, he'd stopped eating and his glare was frosty. 

"If the white baboons don't like them, something clearly is wrong with them. They're all diseased as far as I'm concerned. They all can go to hell." Yamano said, pulling apart the tender piece of meat he had in his hands. 

"Matsuda," Looking up into the face of their commanding officer, he swallowed down his food and saluted him. 

"Sir,"

"This meal you're sharing has deep significance." He waited until he continued, 

"It solidifies the strength of the Empire of Japan. It solidifies the sovereignty of our Emperor." 

"Yes sir!" When he left, they finished eating and prepared for sleep. 

"What did commander mean earlier?" He asked, laying down on a tarp. The temperatures at night were just as warm as during the day and already they were flushed and sweaty. 

"You remember those Burmese prisoners we captured two days ago?" His silence urged Takahashi to continue, 

"We sliced them up and cooked them." He shot up, feeling his heart pound against his chest. 

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not. That meat you had on your plate was from one of their loins. I should know, I cut it off." Immediately, he felt lightheaded. Getting up, he inhaled harshly through his nose, touching the trees to mark his way. 

"Where're you going?"

"To piss." He answered, making it far enough away before he couldn't hold it any longer. Sticking his fingers down his throat, he forced himself to vomit there amongst the slippery leaves and rough vines of the forest thick. Retching violently, he forcefully spit out a mass of saliva and phlegm, sweat streaming down his neck and arms. 

*** 

It had never occurred to me that we were capable of eating human flesh. And even though a part of me felt disgusted... there was that part of me that felt proud to have literally consumed my enemy...no... OUR enemy. It made me wonder what kind of sick twisted bastard was I. Surely, the intensity of the dank humidity had taken the last of my conscience. I was no longer the Ichiro Matsuda that struggled with weakness.

 No, I was stronger with no conscience. I was now able to do the will of my Emperor just as my father had before me. He'd gone to his death bed with "Tenno heika banzai!" on his breath. Long live His Majesty the Emperor. Though I had vomited, at that moment I felt that being amidst the blood and mutilated bodies power and firmness. And so, I'd stay so that the rays of our sun would shine upon me.