Chapter 7: Granny Smith Apples
I like the story so far, and I find your writing clear and entertaining!! Your depiction of Loki is both endearing and frustrating. Endearing because Loki clearly needs support and comfort and his knowledge of relatioships is so limited. Frustrating because Loki also is super arrogant. I can tell he has a lot of growth to do.
My only complaint is Noni's reaction to Loki. It seems a little strange that she is able to accept him as is. Perhaps, a little too accepting. For instance, she seems only midly shocked that Loki can conjure up magical balls of light. Most people would flip out. And while it is nice that Noni avoids asking Loki about his past, it doesn't seem very realistic. If you discovered the person you saved and let stay in your house was not human, you'd have every right to be curious and cautious--untill you determined they weren't a threat. You'd be curious and cautious about the person anyway, considering they are a stranger, but this reaction is especially expected since there is a lot of evidence that Loki isn't human. It's strange that Noni sleeps with a gun under a pillow, yet, she trusts Loki enough to largely avoid asking questions about his origins. Nor is she very ambition in finding out the answers on her own--not researching Loki's origins because the library was closed also seems like a kind of half-hearted and unbelievable excuse. Like...why didn't she just use the internet?
OMG, this turned into a dissertation. I'm not criticizing your story to be spiteful, nor to offend you! If this is the case, I apologize. I really enjoy your story so far, and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Not at all! I appreciate you looking more deeply into the story. But that's the beauty of only giving the audience one chapter a day; you gat tp sit back and enjoy their suspense while you may or may not have all the answers piled up in a file somewhere. ;)
But don't worry, your questions will indeed be answered, my dear! Thanks a lot for your review. ^_^
Reviewer: Botnic1 Signed
Date: April 16 2013