Cant wait till you add more I love this story
I am so in love with this story hey u should put it up on wattpad omg I love it
I really like this story, but I have only one constructive criticism... some paragraphs where one character speaks, maybe stress that character that is to talk or who is about to do an action. It is somewhat confusing (maybe just me) Example: "Wanna do it again?" She giggled, then pushed him to the other side of the bed...
Who suggested that DeLeon or Kendra? Because you mentioned her giggling right after he spoke, it comes across that she giggle as she dsaid "Wanna do it again?" Instead it could be, DeLeon gave her a devious smile as he asked, "Wanna do it again?" Kendra's giggle was answer enough for him.
Cool story, don't want to put it down, but it's after midnight and gotta get some sleep for work.
yes, i realized there was some confusion in my placement of responses vs. actions. i'm a growing writer and i started this story in 2010. since then i've made changes in how i write. this is a first draft. i write directly to the Chamber. so it's a continuous process. further along in the story, you will see that i've improved upon that.
Team DeLeon here.
I love these carzy people!
I have so enjoyed this story. From the first chapter to the last. Rare that I laugh out loud while reading but found I did so often wth this one. Fabulously done!
So the suspense was killing me, and I did a bad thing. I read this story back to front if you will. I'm glad I did. Kendra and D. Omg! Smoking. The voice in this story...the setting. It's everything. Really good.
Not ready for this story to end...but I know that it must.
Please don't let her die...
swoon. love your characters so much - I'll be sad when it's over but it's been quite the journey!
Yay! So happy for these two! They've been through so much and I'm glad they are finally getting their happy ending, even Prince!
So glad things are looking up for you and that you've gotten your groove back:) Welcome back!
I.T. you have made my Monday morning fantabulous!! Kendra and De Leon are one of my favorite couples and I am so happy that she lived so they can continue to love. Love thec conversation between Prince and De Leon it shed some more light into Kendrea. K and D both deserve love and happiness. So good!! Thank you I.T.!!
So glad your back. Love the update as usual.
Please enlighten me...what was wrong with Kendra? I read and re-read the chapters but still don't understand what happened to Kendra and why she needed surgery.
These are some interesting characters you've cooked up for this story. I must say that I was wrong about Pa. I thought this story was headed in one direction, but I'm glad I was wrong. The Halperon's (however you spell it) ain't half bad. I'm going to call it quits with this chapter for tonight. Unfortunately, I have to go to my soul crushing job, otherwise, I'd stay up all night to finish this story. Good stuff. Yes. Very good stuff.
I can't tell since it's so early into the story, but I wonder who will end up with Kendra. Dax or DeLeon? Hmmm?
Pa is alright in my book. That Cat person must die a slow death. Your voice in this story is so genuine. OMG!
Not feeling Chase. Nope. Not at all. He should have bought Kendra a ticket. But that doesn't even matter because he's a tool.
Dax is smitten. Aww
Negro gal? Really,Pa? He's from the boonies in VA. He's from the boonies in Va. I have to keep reminding myself. Ok. I won't shut the door in Pa's face just yet.
So, you just gave me something to do on this boring, lonely Sunday night. Thank you!
It's been awhile since I read this story. I really needed to catch up. It's just as good as I remembered.
So. My emotions are running full speed. Karma better be a bitch to those people. More, please?
I found the beginning very confusing and had to stop reading for a while, there didnt seem to be any flow to it like you have in your previous chapters... But it all came together for me in the end.
Love this story. I hope finish it.
Submit a Review