Rituals

He sat on the edge of his bed waiting. It was 10:30, if she was coming she would have been here by now. They had developed a routine the past month. She was usually there every day by 8:45. Always after work, after she had been home to eat dinner and change out of her work attire. Lana would lightly knock on his door dressed in a cami and shorts or yoga pants. He figured it was the only chance she had to wear something halfway normal. Admittedly he liked the look of her relaxed on his bed in comfy clothes. He remembers telling her one day that she can shower here and they can have dinner together. She said something along the lines of ‘That would be crossing a line and would make her uncomfortable' while slipping her hand into his jeans.

He never understood her or what this was between them. It was sex; which had been the agreement from the start. But he always figured sex would evolve to friendship. Because how could you have sex with someone you weren't even friends with? That was his logic. Lana didn't see it that way. Pardon him if he thought getting to know the woman who rides his cock almost every night was a sensible idea.

He doesn't know her birthday but he knows she likes having her nipples rolled between his teeth. He isn't sure where she grew up but he knows she likes to bite him when she's about to come. Hell, he doesn't know where she lives now but he knows how to make her moan. He doesn't complain because this was what they had agreed on. Sex was their arrangement.

Lucas was pacing the room. Stopping to switch out a full bucket with an empty one under a leak at the far end of the building. He didn't fuss about it because this is the only place that would rent to him by the month and you get what you pay for. It's a studio with brick walls, metal columns and decent wooden floors. The kind hipsters would shit bricks to own. Even once they learned about the chop shop downstairs. Yeah it would sound cool to them at first until they realized that the shop only operates at night. And there is nothing to muffle the sound of cars being dismantled. He's the only person that could handle this ‘apartment'. It really wasn't in bad shape. Just the small leak and a few creaking floorboards. His place was big but scarce furniture wise. He didn't need much. All he had was his bed, a futon and a dresser. Never bothered him considering he works best standing or on the floor. But now he thinks maybe Lana would like it if it was homier. Maybe put up some drywall, get a rug or two. She always looked slightly out of place this run down warehouse.

Lucas would walk to the bed, recall the last time she was spread out on it, turn around in a huff and walk to the front door. It was a sad cycle. It was 11:15 and he was tired. He'd been up since 5am working on a few commissions due next week. Between painting and handling a few business calls it had been a long day that had taken a surprising amount of energy from him. He was hoping Lana would show up so he could relieve some stress. He could call her. He never called her, it wasn't a rule or anything but he felt like it was overstepping a line. She always came to him when she wanted to. Regardless of the mood he was in or what plans he had. He dropped everything for her. He should be able to expect the same from her right? He should call her and tell her to come over because he needed her, now. And it shouldn't be a problem because that's how it's been on her end for the past 7 months.

"Fuck it" He mutters as he begins stripping and heading towards the shower. Once in the bathroom he stares at himself in the mirror asking when exactly he got to be this stuck on a woman. When exactly he started waiting up for Lana. A woman who probably wasn't even thinking about him. If he could just let it go. Let her go, maybe he could find a real relationship. Someone that wanted him for more than a plaything when they were bored. A person that wanted to talk with him and occasionally leave the apartment for public outings. He wasn't asking much. He stood under the hot stream trying to remember his commitments for the month. The things in his life that mattered and didn't involve Lana. Lucas wasn't much for calendars. The majority of the time his agent had to call him and remind him of things the night before. Next month he had a show in Seattle and he'd be gone at least 2 weeks. That's 2 weeks without Lana. Should he even bother telling her? Maybe she'd ask to come along, use some of those vacation days she has saved up. Wishful thinking as always. She'd probably tell him she didn't care, that she had things to work on anyway. He wishes his mind didn't always wander back to her. Wrapping a towel around his waist he strolled towards the fridge for a cold drink.

Lana was sitting on his futon in black panties and bra with her head down staring at her phone. Startled him a little bit, Lucas forgot about the key he had given her a few weeks ago. She never used it, she always knocked.

"It's midnight" He mumbled as she approached him. He didn't see any of her clothes around the room, made him wonder if she had walked here in her bra and panties.

"Work ran late." She ran her fingertips up his wet chest gently brushing a nipple. He wanted to tell her to go away. It was late and he was tired and she should have been here sooner. Or called. They both have phones why the hell did they never use them when it came to this.

"I'm tired" He simply said.

"I had reports to file" She kissed his collarbone "and meetings to go to. I got promoted." Lana placed kisses on his jaw and at the corner of his mouth.

"And that means what? Longer hours?" Like she needed to work harder.

"Plus higher pay and a company car." He couldn't stop his hands from stroking her back as she pressed her body closer. "Don't you want to congratulate me?" And even though he was still slightly upset with her, his hand found the back of her head and guided her lips to his. Lana's small hand moving to loosen his towel and letting it drop to the floor. Deepening the kiss Lana led him back to his futon and happily lay under him. Then it became like every other time. No words, just soft moans, heavy breathing and panting. She was submissive tonight. Lucas ran his fingers down her spine loving how the gesture made her shiver. He liked her like this, anxiously waiting for him. These were the nights he looked forward to, when she would come over tired from work and let him have his way with her. Too wore out to fight on how the sex would be. He could lick and kiss up her body, take his time exploring her. Fuck her slowly and watch her eyes flutter closed. Afterwards she would curl up at his side and let her fingers run up and down his chest. She'd whisper in his ear about how much she appreciated him and what he did to her. She'd kiss his jaw and run her fingernails over his scalp. Made him feel like there was a chance of more between them. These nights she would stay until one or two in the morning then go home to sleep and get ready for work. He didn't bother suggesting she shower here.

Then there were the days when she needed to feel powerful, when she wanted to assert her dominance over him. Those were the days when she was dealing with male egos all day. When she needed him to submit to her. Those times he wasn't allowed to touch her or cum until she said so. Afterwards she would lay next to him with her back to his front for an hour or so. Lucas would wrap his arm around her in an attempt to pull her close but she would stiffen. She would leave soon after without saying anything. Leaving him wondering when he would see her again.

He preferred her this way, relaxed and content. It felt more like something they both needed. And something she was giving to him, a gift.

Lucas watched her doze off on the couch. Slowly and carefully he lifted her and carried her to his bed. He may or may not have stared at her for a while before putting on shorts and heading outside for a walk. Because he had failed again. Every day he tells himself he'll work out whatever this is. That he'll stop her advances and make her talk to him. Yet here he is walking the streets smelling like her and thinking about her taste. He first realized he wasn't happy with their arrangement nearly two months ago. When he started waiting up for her. When he began having trouble painting because he couldn't focus on anything but her. When in his head he started thinking of it as making love rather than fucking her. It couldn't go on like this. Lana never showed any signs of wanting change. She always seemed perfectly content with their arrangement. But it physically hurt him.