For Fitz, it was a long slow drifting slide back to anything resembling reality. When he was finally aware of himself again, his heart was still beating wildly in his chest and there was an echo of pleasure doing the same throughout his body, right down to his fingertips. 

The scent of passion still hung heavy in the air and a bone deep satisfaction held him still. Overcome by his own orgasm, Fitz couldn’t move; every reason not to stir an inch was nestled by his side. She was warm and soft beside him; her body still quivering softly from the aftershocks of their passionate lovemaking. 

Lovemaking; not since the first time they had been with one another had the word and the feelings behind it held so much special meaning to him. It was more than the physical pleasure, although that had taken him beyond the moon and the stars. It was something that the word really couldn’t encompass - like the word love itself. What was love? Who could dare to define it, that combination of the physical, the emotional and the spiritual? This was as close to heaven as he could ever hope to be. 

After a time, he opened his eyes, slanting his gaze downward. Olivia’s body was curled into his side, the upper part of her body draped across his chest. Her hair was tousled from love-making, half-covering her face.  He moved his hand in a slow caress as he brushed it back and a smile drifted across his face as an answering shiver went through her, knowing that the same lingering echoes of pleasure resonating through him was shared by her. 

It had been so long since they’d shared a moment like this. That thought made him close his eyes again, savoring these moments of quiet and utter, total contentment, not wanting to let a second of it slip away. 

Unable to resist touching her, his fingers played along the contours of Olivia’s jawline. In response she stirred a little; without thinking about it, Fitz’s arm slipped down to tighten  around her and pull her even closer,  an unimaginable happiness spreading through him at the sensation of having her in his arms once again. 

He bent his head, letting his lips brush against the heavy silk of her hair, inhaling her scent. It was a Intoxicating mix of the both of them, his body and hers. Incredibly, he felt himself stirring again. 

“Hi.”   He said it softly.

She raised her face to his. “Hi.” 

Olivia let her hand trail its way upward across his chest and then to his face, to trace the contours of his face. Her fingers lingered against his lips and a tiny smile passed her lips as Fitz closed his eyes and pressed tiny kisses against them. 

There was happiness in her eyes, but it was shadowed by something else. She might try to hide it, but Fitz knew her too well - and had seen that look too often. Even in the dimness of the room and through the haze of afterglow he could see it. He could feel it, a growing unease in his guts.

“What is it?” he asked, even though he dreaded the answer. He knew that look.

Some of his emotion must have shown itself in his voice; Olivia’s eyes went wide with sudden guilt. “Fitz...”

“Olivia - don’t.” That growing unease turned itself into a sudden sinking sensation plunged into him, leaving him shaken for a moment. “Just - don’t.” 

“We should go...” her voice was a half-whisper in the night. 

She made a movement as though to move away from him but Fitz tightened his hold on her, not letting her go.

“Stop running, Liv. Not tonight. Not now - not yet.” Don’t do this to us, he thought. A sudden sense of desperation rose up in him.

“Running?” his words had caught Olivia off-guard.

Fitz rolled over suddenly, taking her with him so that she was lying beneath him.  

“It’s what you do, Livvie. Whenever we get too close - too close for you - you run.” His eyes were relentless and his voice was rough with the pain he tried to hide. “What are you running from tonight? Me?”

Her lips parted as she shook her head with a tiny motion, but no words escaped her lips. 

“Are you running from me, from us - or yourself?” Fitz said, his emotions beginning to churn inside him. He’d always known this much about Olivia - there was a part of her that she always kept locked away from everyone - maybe even from herself. How many times had he told her he didn’t give a damn about anything, anyone else but her? Why couldn’t she let herself believe him?

“We need to talk about this, Livvie.” 

“What is there that we can possibly talk about?” Olivia demanded. But her lips trembled as she said it. 

Fitz wanted nothing more than to kiss all of her fears away. But if she never told them what they were, how could he ever convince her otherwise? 

“Everything - anything...” Fitz began, but halted at the sudden look of pain that crept into her eyes. Something else unreadable in her pulled itself away from him

“The world - the world that exists beyond that door says we can’t be together...” 

“The world isn’t here.” Fitz’s voice roughened with his own hurt as he bent his head to hers.  He whispered his next words against her lips. “It’s you and me alone - together - loving one another. We love each other - you can’t deny that - and that’s all that matters.”

“You’ve told me you don’t trust me anymore, so why am I here?” Olivia was trying even now, to regain some sense of sanity, but it was a losing battle. The scent and feel of him was invading - no, overwhelming - her senses and she could barely think, not when her emotions were so strong and Fitz so close; not when his lips were searing a path along her jaw and throat and his body was so very close to hers...

“I don’t trust me any more.” Fitz’s words came quick and hard on the end of her own. “I can’t - I won’t - trust anything but this.” 

Before she could say anything else, Fitz brought his lips down to hers; there was a taste of desperation in his kiss. Damn reality, damn the world - they were here together and nothing else mattered. 

“It’s you. And it’s me. This is the world - all the world I want. All the world I need.” he said aloud, just before he brought his mouth down upon hers. 

As if she sensed his desperation, a tiny moan of that matched his own emotions escaped Olivia’s lips as she reached up to cup his face in her hands. Her soft lips tasted him, softly at first, then her kiss deepened,  drinking in the taste and feel of him as though he were an oasis in the desert and she a soul dying of thirst. 

Suddenly, with an effort, she tore her lips away from his. “And tomorrow?” 

Fitz’s mouth followed hers, leaving her no way to escape him. “I don’t give a damn about tomorrow.” he growled just before he recaptured her mouth in a searing kiss that battered down her flimsy defenses, rejoicing inwardly as he felt the barrier between them fall.

Fitz sensed her helpless surrender and needed no further prompting; he was already  hard and ready for her again, his need as vital as the air he breathed. His urgency matched hers as he moved over her and drove himself deeply into her softness. 

Holding one another so close that their hearts beat as one, their lovemaking took on a new urgency - an almost desperate intense joining of heart and mind that went beyond their bodies. There was no thinking now, no more room for doubts or fears, only this rising crest of pleasure that they could only find within one another. There were whispers of love and promises of the heart exchanged, forgiveness asked for and given, some with words -

“You hurt me...”

“I’m so sorry...”

She stilled then, for a moment, lifting up her hands to caress his face and then his lips. “I know...” Olivia said, gazing upwards into his eyes as something inside her eased. “I’m sorry too...”

He loved her - she knew this. He loved her with everything he had. His past and painful actions had been born of that pain but even still, he loved her. Seeing the depth of emotion in his eyes, Olivia felt something she hadn’t even known was present in her surrender and crumbled baring her heart to his. It was followed by a rushing wave of new-born emotions - her love couldn’t resist his any longer and she couldn’t wouldn’t fight it. Instead, she tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled his lips back down to hers.

- some things were expressed with only a kiss, a touch, a tender caress, a moment when gazes locked and their eyes held the world between them. 

Fitz saw a new look come into her eyes, while he couldn’t name it, he could feel it and felt that something new was born between them in that instant. It drew them together into a deeper connection filled with a passion more fulfilling, encompassing than anything they could ever remember experiencing before; one that seemed for a time to go on endlessly , stripping everything from them except the rawest of emotions. But as always, what went on for endless moments also ended far too soon, leaving them breathless and almost mindless, atremble in one another’s arms. 

When at last passion was spent,when the only sound was that of their breathing as it made its way back to something resembling normal, they lay entwined with one another, unwilling and unable to part. The strength of their loving had stolen all senses from them; for long moments, all they could do was cling to one another gasping. Even when they could, there were no words to say; there were never any words for the magic that happened between them. Words were never enough. And it was never as true as it was right now. 

Lost in quiet bliss, Olivia and Fitz lay like that for a long time after,  but  eventually the time came when they knew that they had to leave, to step beyond that closed door and back into reality.

He knew it all to well, but Fitz didn’t want to leave this place, didn’t want to let go of these moments where he was holding Olivia in his arms - not after being so long without her. They hadn’t had time like this since their time together at Camp David when they were hammering out his State of the Union address. 

They hadn’t had this time together ever since he had pushed her away. So maybe they were both guilty of running. But not any more, he swore to himself. 

Never again.