Spock passed a few party guests in the corridor. He tried not to look anxious as he passed several closed doors, unsure which one hid Nyota. Perhaps he had been too preoccupied with his own thoughts last night, causing her to feel as though he did not appreciate her efforts to help him - or worse, that he did not want her near him.

Yonder, McCoy had said. Yonder where? Spock tried opening the mental bond again.

Ashayam (beloved), do you wish to be alone?

"No! No, I do not." Her voice was muffled by the closed door, but Spock heard her answer clearly with ears and mind. He turned the doorknob and entered the room, shutting the door behind him.

Nyota sat on a pillow atop a carpet patterned in deep colors. Spock stood by the door for a moment, watching the warm light from the fireplace panel play over her face and bared shoulders. When was the last time he'd told her how attractive and desirable she was to him? Too long; he remembered the day and the hour, and he realized that he should have told her again earlier that evening.

She gave him a half-smile. "Did you want to leave for the guesthouse now?" she asked, beginning to rise to her feet.

"No. Please stay." Spock crossed the room; Nyota pulled over a large pillow for him, and he sat down beside her, facing away from the fire so that he could give her his attention. "Thank you. Earlier I considered suggesting that we leave, but I would like to remain here with you instead."

"Oh. What for?" She looked at him uncertainly.

"I...have no particular reason. I simply want to be with you."

Slowly, she smiled more broadly. "No plan? No discussion?"

"We may a have a discussion if you wish it."

Her eyes shone in the dim light as though she'd been about to cry, but no tears fell when she nodded. "Let's make a deal, Commander." Nyota turned so that she sat facing him, their bodies in opposite directions. "We give this three minutes, and when we're done we either go back to that party or...do something else. Agreed?"

"Agreed, Lieutenant." The determined set of her chin made him smile.

"You've been very quiet since you returned from the mission, and I'm worried about you," she began. "I read the mission report, so I know what events happened, and when, but is there something else that you aren't telling me?"

"I would never conceal any significant occurrence from Starfleet."

"What about from me? Something emotional? Sweetheart, please don't think you can't tell me if it helps you. Do you want to spend shore leave alone instead of with me so that you can think through what happened? You mentioned a monastery on New Vulcan once --"

Spock touched her shoulder. "Tal-kam (dear one), no. Separation from you would cause a sort of distress that the mission did not. I do not wish to cloister myself in a monastery, nor do I find this party entirely disagreeable. Our hosts are gracious and welcoming. I simply need...a respite."

Nyota touched his cheek. "Perhaps it's too soon for you to spend a long evening socializing and managing Federation diplomacy at a party with over one hundred guests?" She stroked the back of his hand. "You need a little more time to decompress?"

"As you know, I passed the required medical and psychological evaluations, but...yes." Sighing, he turned his hand so that he could clasp hers. "Speaking of what happened will not change things. I have analyzed my own errors in threat assessment and preparation and will strive to avoid repeating those mistakes."

"I understand; that's what you always do." She lay down, still holding his hand. "Why have you spoken so little after we were reunited?"

"Nyota, I did not talk about the mission with you because I prefer to leave it behind. Being with you in our cabin was restorative for me. Last night I needed nothing more than to hold you, or to know that you were no more than one room away from me. I did not want to revisit the possibility of permanent separation from you; such a thought, and the emotions attached to them, are deeply painful." Spock realized that he clasped her hand a bit too tightly and relaxed his grip.

"Everyone on the bridge worked their hardest to get you, Len, and Sulu back."

"You refused to take mandated breaks until ordered away from the bridge, I was told."

"Having you back meant everything." Nyota slid her hand around to his side, feeling the reassuring thump of his heart.

"A full two minutes have now passed. I find that I prefer not to discuss the matter further," Spock said.

Nyota rested an elbow on the soft surface of the broad carpet and leaned back. "Breaking a rule, Commander? You must be feeling a bit wild tonight."

"I feel..." Spock's gaze met hers, then moved down. The bias cut of her gown caused the dark red satin to outline the contours of her body in a most enticing fashion. Of course, he had seen Nyota before the party, but he had somehow not truly noticed how the gown made her look. While Nyota was walking and standing the gown had seemed almost modest, her legs concealed. How could the design of a simple garment be so deceptive? "I am reminded of statues of reclining goddesses of various Earth cultures."

Nyota welcomed the suddenly warmer climate of the room. "Oh?" She rolled from her side onto her back. Light from the fireplace gave the cloth over her thighs a slight gleam, and cast patterns of brightness and shadow over the soft hills and valleys of her body.

Spock groaned and pulled ineffectually at the high collar of his dress jacket. "Our discussion of emotions has weakened my control."

Nyota patted the soft carpet. "Lie down with me and relax. Nobody's likely to come looking for us." Spock did, without mentioning that his dress trousers also felt tighter. He would lie down on his back for a brief time to ease the pressure while he compartmentalized his thoughts and feelings. Their bodies lay in opposite directions, but her lips were close...

Nyota looked at the shadows below his eyes, more noticeable when they lay so close, and frowned. Three days and too many hours since they'd lain this way while awake.

"Promise me that you'll rest during our leave time," Nyota said. "Spend time alone if you want to. Read. Meditate. Walk around with me. Or just sleep. You've been through a lot lately."

Spock turned his head towards her. "You have also experienced much."

"Unlike you, I'm not carrying heavy responsibilities for protecting the lives of an entire crew."

"Adun'a (wife), if I may differ, you do care for their well-being in the interpersonal sense."

Smiling, she moved closer. "That's very sweet, adun (husband), but I'm still a little worried about you."

The faint perfume she wore smelled good, with a hint of cinnamon. The subtle scent seemed to flow upward from between her breasts. A warm feeling that had little to do with the fire flowed through him. Although she wasn't looking directly at him -- her eyelids, outlined by an artful sweep of some cosmetic preparation, were lowered - Spock felt her keen awareness of him.

Grateful for his presence, his warmth, Nyota breathed him in. Spock rarely used colognes, saying that they were nonessential, but he did enjoy some practical, sensual comforts. Sandalwood soap tonight? Yes -- it was from a good, unglamorous, well-made brand she'd bought for him during an Earth visit: a simple gift for her bondmate on a previous anniversary.

They lay on the soft pillows and carpet, each waiting for the other to make the first move.

"You need not worry. I will pursue restorative activities during our shore leave. May I distract you?" His warm fingertips smoothed over her temples, rested there.

"Mmm." He'd touched her hand as they entered the party, but there had been no other physical contact until they entered this room. Under the caress of his fingertips, she moaned helplessly.

"Your visual presentation of yourself tonight is both graceful and alluring, Nyota. Please forgive me for not telling you earlier; I know that it pleases you to hear it."

"Thank you," she murmured as Spock pressed light kisses over her forehead, the bridge of her nose, her chin. Nyota felt as though her body floated in a daze of heated anticipation; she could hear the music from the party, ever so faintly.

Spock pulled away. "Ashayam , I will say one more thing about the mission. Despair is in opposition to basic tenets of Vulcan philosophy. You know that I spent those three days developing escape strategies in collaboration with Mr. Sulu and Dr. McCoy. Also, my awareness of a certain date strengthened my resolve."

Nyota watched him, fascinated by the emotion plainly visible in his dark eyes.

"Each day since our bonding has taken on a different level of meaning, Nyota. If I am honest...each day since our meeting has made my life different. ‘I have no other star. You are my replica of the multiplying universe'."

She recognized the quotation from Neruda, the ancient, beloved poet, and smiled.

"You are mine, mine, woman with sweet lips and in your life my infinite dreams live." His fingers stroked her temple.

"What it takes on this planet, to make love to each other in peace." His voice, so deep,  was enchanting.  All tension between them long gone, Nyota felt their mental bond open again and accepted the image Spock showed her:

A private cottage some distance away from the guesthouse, waiting for the two of them; Spock had already requested that their bags be moved. The cottage was more elaborate than the room she'd wanted to book for their shore leave. Its garden seemed to overflow with colorful flowers. She saw a small pond with a bench at its edge. Inside the cottage, a food storage unit in a tidy kitchen held some of her favorite things to eat. A bedroom contained a large, comfortable looking bed. There was more - she got an impression of a concert, plans for socializing with their friends among the crew and diplomatic corps, and completely unscheduled time to do anything they wished.

It was enough to tell her what she needed to know. Here they were, lying down in yin and yang position. Somehow they'd moved back into orbit together. Nyota reached out and stroked Spock's dark hair.

"I did not forget," Spock whispered against her lips, and kissed her. Nyota kissed him back.

I knew you wouldn't.

The End