"In a night, or in a day, in a vision, or in none, is it therefore the less gone? All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."

- A Dream Within A Dream (Edgar Allan Poe)

Golden Girl  Frank Ocean

The Introduction

  Her dainty fingers toyed with her pitch black tresses; for the first time in nearly two years, the young girl had sat down and let her hair stylist flat iron her wild mane of pitch black corkscrew curls, till her hair was pin straight. The only reason that she had under gone the  two day process of straightening her hair was, because in less than forty-eight hours she would officially be a senior at a new high school on the other side of the world it felt like. Getting out of the chair, she walked out the door, having already paid for hair to be done.  The girl walked towards a abyss black Lincoln town car, where an elder man raced to open her door for her. She slid into the back seat and gave the man a soft thank you as she seated into the uncomfortable creme leather seats. She folded her legs and tried to sooth herself, the way her mother use to, before their life had come to this. Raking her hand over her exposed skin, she traced made-up designs on her thighs as a way of detracting herself from her problems and issues. She hated what was becoming of her life.

She missed her freedom, her carefree nature, and most of all she missed the Virgin Islands. She missed the lazy beaches, the buzz of tourist, and the simplicity of island life. A life confined to a private white-collared town wasn't what she had in mind for herself. Yet here she was in Oakwood, California; in the back of an expensive car with her own personal driver. Her hair smelt of jasmine and vanilla, and her nails were long and square, the nail polish was called 'pink champagne' and was finished with some top-coat that made the nails dull.  Just yesterday, she was forced to go through this horde process, called waxing and let's just say there wasn't any hair anywhere other than her head. She'd spent most of the beginning of the week inside of expensive boutiques, until her mother finally caved and let her go to a mall.

It was as if the woman was trying to erase the last seventeen years of her life. Her mother claimed that this was a chance to start over and be someone different. She stated that they were going to have a better life and that was all due to her mom's new husband. Richard Hemming or major dick as the young girl prefers to call him. The man wanted a trophy wife and if she had a daughter then that was a bonus.  So that's where Rosemary, her mother, and her came into play. Even though her mother says this as a way of moving up in the world. The girl is convinced that her mother may have sold their souls to the devil.

She is currently laying in her all white canopy bed, that's basically heaven on earth. Her hair was fanned out over the pure pillows and her legs stood erect as she tried to get them to straighten out as much as they physically could.  Which proved to be difficult, seeing as her thick thighs that supported her naturally plump hips and soft round bottom, her thighs couldn't stay together for the life of her. Huffing, she let her legs drop like dead weight and sat up. Her eyes scanned over the massive space, that she was to call her room. She enjoyed the silence that seemed to fill her room, but the silence made her feel even more alone than before. She felt like she was suffocating in her room, standing from her bed, she rushed over to her window and quickly opened it and allowed the sweet summer breeze to fan over her face. Her cheeks felt moist and her hands kept shaking.

She was crying and it felt so damn good as the salty tears ran down her face. Her hair wrapped around her like a mother hugging her children close. Leaning her head against the window seal, she day-dreamed of what might be happening in the Virgin Islands at this very moment; more specifically, Saint Croix where her mother and her had lived for most of her life.  She missed the beautiful beaches and the humble people that seemed to fill the island. The sun seemed to be the brightest there and the air was so clean and salty as the sky seemed to be sewn from the most expensive fabric in the world. In St. Croix, she was free move around as she pleased, to dress however she saw fit, and express herself freely. She was like a little yellow canary, growing up and moving about where she pleased.

Sighing, she stood up from the window seal as a certain summer seemed to hum through out her mind. She was barely fourteen and the world just seemed so bright and brand new to her. She spent all her time on the sand beaches; in just a pair of cut-off light blue shorts and whatever swim suit she wore that day. Sinking down to her knees, she thought about how each day she'd leave at dawn and bike down to the bus stop, where she meet up with her friends and they'd bike over towards the local beach and spend hours having fun. Her arms now dangling out side the window as her legs were tucked beneath her, she watched the gardener replant the roses and even place a few in a glass vase, that would somehow appear on her night stand. Turning back towards her bed, she through herself back into the first and last time she ever fell in love. 

He wasn't older than fifteen and just seemed to breathe maturity. He was visiting from some where in the United States and was like gold in her eyes. His family was staying at this luxurious hotel and he was always driven to the beach in a car with another man driving it. He was very different from the boys that she had come to know. At first he didn't seem to really pay her any mind and kind of treated her like a little sister, but after many days of chasing she finally weakened him and he let her show him around. She took him to places he'd never seen and in return he gave her a preview into a life she thought she'd never live. He made her stomach flutter and her heat beat faster. All the poems started making sense and for the first time, Miliani was in love. They never kissed, let alone do the dirty, but it was the simplest form of love.

The last day they spent together was bitter sweet and left a bad taste in Miliani's mouth, whenever she thinks about it. His last day on the island, she took him to their place. A look-out spot that gave you the best view of the city and the beach. She made them a picnic and served him the best fruit and traditional dishes, she forced her mother to make for them just the night before. They talked about what they would do when the summer ended and as she rested her head on his shoulder, she felt the mood change. Something in her snapped, she felt like even in day time that all the stars had alined and it was now or never. Looking over at him, she glanced at his lips and before she could control herself, she kissed him with all the passion in her body. She felt sparks fly as their lips moved in sync. Moving back with her eyes still closed, she let out a happy sigh, but he didn't feel the same. His eyes were filled with worry as his jaw clenched. He was angry and confused. After that he didn't say a word and left her at the spot with swollen lips and a broken heart. Then every summer following she would look for him, but it was as if he never had existed. After two wasted summers of looking for her first love, she gave up and closed her heart off from that feeling once again. She was no longer that fourteen year old girl with the skinny legs and naive view of the world.

Glancing at her clock, she got off the floor and went into her bathroom. Pushing the door open, she flicked the lights on and instantly a warm amber lightening filled the space. Walking over towards her tub, she admired the porcelain claw-foot tub; that Major Dick imported in for her from somewhere in Europe. Rolling her eyes at the thought of his name, she turned the nob and crystal clear water started to fill the tub. Going over to the sink, she grabbed a brush and began to push her hair up into a tight ponytail and then twisted it around into a classic ballet bun. Stripping out of her clothes, she placed one foot in first and then fully submerged her body into the boiling hot water with pineapple scented bubbles. 

For just another moment she had peace, she valued it.