I’m shivering inside the dark pickup truck. Not from the cold, but from the sort of fear that settles into your bones when you have just told someone a secret that may change the way they view you from this point on. It’s a painful fear, and I’ve been fighting myself for weeks to just spit the words out. Praying that when I did, it would make everything better.  But rejection kept me quiet and fear kept me in check. Until know that is. I can’t keep it a secret anymore. I had to tell someone. I had to tell him.  It’s been eating me up inside and I can’t take it anymore.

Dominic Slater sits with his back firmly against the driver side door and his tall muscular body angled towards me. His expression is empty but I can tell by the faint line of tension in his jaw that his teeth are clenched. He’s upset. I did this and I’m not used to seeing him this way. His black hair is still wet from his shower after tonight’s football game. The Warriors had just barely escaped defeat from our rivals The South Lyon Hornets. It’s always the game that every student looks forward to each year. None more than the seniors. Tonight was no exception. If it wasn’t for the fact that Dominic was an amazing quarterback, and his perfect Hail Mary pass at the last second we would have lost the game.

The headlights of another vehicle approaching spreads across our bodies and down over his dark blue and white letterman jacket. The vehicle makes a turn to find its own dark corner of make out peak. Admittedly, it was the wrong place to do this, but I wanted to be someplace where no one would bother us. My cheeks start to warm as I look around at all the cars parked knowing that everyone is no doubt doing exactly what make out peak is intended for. 

I curse under my breath slightly embarrassed for even mentioning this place earlier when we were deciding where to go. Dominic was more than eager to bring us here and if we weren’t such good friends, I would dwell on the meaning behind it.

“How long?” Dominic breathes breaking the silence and the tension that plague us for what seemed like hours. He brings my chin between the padding of his fingers so that he can fix my gaze to match his. Even in the dim moon lit lighting of his pickup truck, I can see his brown eyes are fixed on me. From the way his eyes search mine, and the overwhelming sound of my heart beating against my chest, I try to prepare for what he would say next. It’s not every day you tell someone that your step-father Chuck has been sneaking into your room at night to touch you.  It could be worse. It could always be worse. I’ve try to remind myself of that, whenever I caught him watching me around the house. Or whenever I’d wake up to his hands roaming across my body.

Shivering at the thought, I respond. “For the last few months.” My voice is nearly a whisper but by the way his eyes widen I know he heard me. “His drinking has gotten so much worse since the police department started cutting down his hours and he-,” The sound of the truck’s horn sounding off takes me by surprise. From the corner of my eye, I see him level another fist onto the steering wheel.

“Jesus! Layla. Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

The question digs into my heart and sends a wave of disappointment throughout my body. He couldn’t possibly know how many times I wanted to tell him.

I swallow back tears and shift in my seat so I could face forward again. I can’t take the way his eyes watch me. It only makes me feel worse.

It is rare to see this Dominic. This side of him he hides well from me, kept together because he never liked to talk about his past. His anger is the child of that past. He protects me by only telling me that his father was an abusive asshole and his mother was even more worthless than him. If it wasn’t for his father’s mother intervening and petitioning for custody of him when he was five, only God knows what he would be like now.

 “Dom…,” I begin to speak but I let my voice trail off. I’m afraid to answer him. I’m afraid that he’ll only see a weak girl that brought all of this on herself. I mean how could he not think that? It’s the only thing I’ve ever seen looking back at me. I don’t recognize this person I’ve become.

As if he can read my mind, he shakes his head and pulls me into his chest. His arm pulls me against him so that his body heat warms me. I feel safe. It isn’t a new feeling. Since we noticed each other out on the playground during a first grade recesses we had become inseparable.

“It’s not your fault Layla. You know that right?” He urges. I don’t answer him. I want to believe him. I want to know that this isn’t my fault. I take in his soft words and try to let them soothe my aching body and set my mind at ease. For a brief few moments, it does. But when my eyes find the time on the dashboard, it’s immediately erased.

The clock on his dash is always off by four minutes which meant I had only an hour before I will need to be home to make it in time for my ten o’clock curfew. If I’m lucky mom is still awake and Chuck is at the local bar drinking himself until last call.

“Tell me you know that?” His voice cracks and I know he wants to cry. The strong all-star high school jock is hurting and I’m to blame.

“I-I know.” I’m lying to ease his pain. I owe him this much.

He places a kiss on the top of my mop of curly black hair and inhales a bit. I sink into him enjoying our closeness. The truth is, I’m in love with him. I often try to explain it away as teenage hormones, but when he’s near me it’s like my body is on fire. Even so, I won’t risk our friendship over an over active imagination.

As he starts to pull away, he drags his lips down to my forehead and plants another kiss firmly there. My eyes begin to water as the warmth from his lips spreads throughout my body. I can’t take the closeness anymore, and so I create the distance we so much need. I need. Dominic sees me as a sister. He’s never actually said it but I can feel it by the way he treats me. It’s only natural that he wants to protect me.

“Let’s go to the police.”

I can’t help but let out a low disgusted laugh. I have thought of doing that a million times. It would never work. Chuck’s a cop. All cops stick together. There’s a not so secret code that they have amongst each other. Never rat out your fellow brother in arms.

“They’ll never believe me. Chuck’s made sure of that. He has everyone believing I’m just some spoiled teenager that has an axe to grind with my mom. Even my mother wouldn’t believe me.”

“So what then? You just wait until he’s so drunk that he rapes you.” The last part is said with so much anger and frustration that I brace myself to hear his fist meet the steering wheel again. He doesn’t, instead he rakes another shaky hand through his hair.

“It won’t come to that. I-I just have to keep my distance as much as I can until graduation and then I’ll be eighteen and free to leave.” I want to drive this point home as much as I possibly can. It’s all I’ve been holding onto and I need him to believe it as much as I do.

“You’re asking me to just-just do nothing! Layla I lo-.”

Three knocks on the driver’s side window causes us to both nearly jump out of our skin.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

My heart instantly skips a beat. From the fog it’s hard to make out the large figure behind Dominic. It’s not until Dominic wipes down the window with his forearm that I see the letterman jacket behind him. It’s another member of the football team and my breath starts to return to a normal pace.

“It’s Kenny,” he sighs looking back at me and then again at the window. Kenny motions Dominic to roll the window down and he’s hesitate but does so only enough to hear what Kenny has to say. I shy away from the window and turn away from them. The last thing Dominic needed was for anyone to get the wrong idea about us. His reputation would survive. Mine wouldn’t.

“Dom, you know I hate to bother you and your girl, but a few of us are going to head to Jake’s house for some drinks. It looks like his parents are out of town. You wanna come with?”

“I don’t know. I’m sort of busy at the moment.” From the tone of his voice, I know what he’s implying. It doesn’t bother me. Dominic is far from what people expects him to be. I also know that he’s only trying to get Kenny off his back as soon as possible.

“Of course.  Do your thing.”

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the way they went back and forth with each other. Dominic would call it my feminist personality, but I wanted to grab Kenny by the ear and smack him hard across the face. The entitlement of some men never fail to surprise me.

“Maybe when you’re done here you can meet up with us. I know there’s some people that want to meet you.”

I scoff louder than I intend to. By people, Kenny means girls that want a taste of Dominic. Kenny’s poor attempt at code is almost laughable.

“We’ll be there for a while anyway.” Kenny finishes. I don’t have to look at Kenny to know that he’s wearing a huge grin on his face. I can hear it in his voice and it disgust me.

“Alright. I’ll see you later.”

Once I hear the sound of the window closing and I’m sure that Kenny is gone, I turn back to face him. Clearing his throat he sits back in his seat and begins to stare up at the ceiling. He tucks one hand under his head and sighs. I watch closely. His usually happy face is plagued with a heavy frown and I can’t help but wish I could hear the thoughts running through his mind. 

The run down Buick next to me begins to rock back and forth. I let my attention sway towards it. I recognized that car. It belongs to the Warriors field goal kicker Alex Wilson. After a win like tonight, it didn’t surprise me that he would be getting some action as well. In fact, I’d be surprised if the entire football team wasn’t up here with some woman or another.

I spin around in my seat to see as much as I could through the fogged windows. There had to be at least fifteen or so cars and trucks with heavy fogged windows, and movements that matched Alex’s. Everyone is enjoying themselves except Dominic. The thought brings a frown to my face. It shouldn’t’ be me alone in here with him, it should be Jemma or one of the other beautiful cheerleaders that swooned whenever he even gave them so much as a smile.

“You can drop me off and-,”

“No.” he interjects still looking up at the ceiling.

I lick my lips hesitant but not deterred. “I’m just saying you should be out celebrating with your teammates.”

“I’m exactly where I want to be.”  He places his wrist in front of his arms to see the time. “I don’t have to drop you off for another thirty minutes. I’m not ready to take you home.” I can sense there’s something he wants to say but doesn’t.

The best part about Dominic is that he valued friendships among everything else. Even when our roads started to differ in middle school, he never made me feel less than. It was clear that Dominic was destined for popularity.  He became a jock, and I kept being the quiet nerdy best friend that kept to her books and studies. Popularity didn’t matter to me, and in all honesty, it didn’t matter to him either. It just came with the territory when one becomes an all American quarterback, and had the looks of a Greek God to back it up. He’s nowhere near being the man that he wants to be but it is his determination and the fact that he oozes dominance and power that makes all the girls at our high school want him. There was no way that Dominic Slater was going to be anything less than extraordinary.

I lean back in my own seat but I don’t stare up at the ceiling. Instead I close my eyes and almost instantly a wave of exhaustion hits me. Before I know it, I’m drifting off to sleep with the thought of kissable olive skin on my mind.

“Layla,” Dominic’s soft voice shakes me until I flutter my eyes briefly. It takes a few moments for me to register where I am. Oh shit, I fell asleep! My eyes fly to the clock on the dashboard as I panic. I’m not late. I exhale saying a quick prayer as I grab my purse and book bag, remembering my lie to get out of the house tonight was that I was tutoring one of my girlfriend’s.

“Thank you,” I whisper before placing a quick kiss on Dominic’s cheek. He’s silent and I can sense the tension begin to build up.

“I’ll be fine,” I say forcing a smile.

“You’re lying.” He points out. “You always scrunch your nose when you lie.”

I’m suddenly aware of my facial movements and try to relax under them.

I begin to pull away when he reaches for me, placing a hand on the back of my neck he pulls me into a kiss. The kiss is so unexpected, for a brief moment, I think he meant to kiss my forehead like before, but somehow misses. When he doesn’t pull away, I let my purse and bag come sliding out of my tight grasp.

“Shit. I didn’t want to do it this way.” He breathes against my lips. His breath warms me while my inexperience has me shaking. The taste of his lips on mine is earth shattering.

“I-I didn’t know you wanted to at all.” I try to contain my smile but I can’t.

He chuckles as he nuzzles his nose into my neck before placing a kiss right in the crock of it. I gasp I can tell that he’s please by the sound when he nibbles a bit. I’m unsure of what to do, but I know I don’t want it to stop.

“It’s what I hoped you wanted to meet me at make out peak for. But if not there, I would have told you when I announced the college I’m going to during my graduation party. Seeing as though we’ll both be attending Perdue.”

I pull away, not able to contain my shock. “You accepted the scholarship?” He could go anywhere in the world. Why on earth would he put his football career at risk to attend the same college as me? I knew the answer, I just didn’t want to accept it.

He nods grinning from ear to ear.

“Dominic there are colleges out there that are willing to start you on the field right away. Perdue isn’t one of them. You can’t risk that for just anyone.”

“You’ve never been just anyone.” He argues.

My heart skips a beat and in my excitement I find his lips with mine. If it wasn’t for the annoying fact of my curfew, I wouldn’t even dare pull away from him. But I needed to go, mom would be home any minute from her shift at the hospital.

“I-I have to go,” I reply reclaiming my things.

“Say it. Say, you will attend Perdue with me.”

I glance at the clock one last time before looking up at him. “Fine. I will attend Perdue with you.”

He plants a quick kiss on my cheek and I hurry from the truck and inside the house.

It’s dark. Mom rarely leaves any lights on, but I don’t need them. I know the house like the back of my hand.

The second I plant the foot on the bottom staircase the lights in the living room flicker on.

“You’re late.” A deep and threatening voice echo’s behind me. I spin around instantly and find Chuck sitting in his favorite recliner with a glass of whiskey in his left hand while the other is gripped around his erect penis. A rush a bile makes its way up the back of my throat and I gag to push it away.

Darting my eyes away, I grab a hold of the railing to steady myself. “I-I’m sorry, my tutoring session ran late.”

He scoffs then takes a swig of his whiskey before setting it on the table beside him. “Is that so? You see, your mother told me some of the gals around town saw you with that boy Dominic after the football game. Let me guess, they won and you’d thought you’d give Dominic a little victory fun”

Crap. I’d forgotten about are early run in with one of my mother’s friends. “W-where is my mom?” Chuck would never be so bold with my mother around. She may never admit to the abuse but seeing it right in her face would be different.

He let out a nasty chuckle that sounded like a heavy smoker trying to catch air before giving me a sinister grin. It sent chills down my spine, and I instantly knew she was gone. Probably out drinking with her friends after work.

“What does it matter baby girl, you and I need to spend some quality time together anyway.” Chuck let out a low groan as he continued to stroke himself.

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” I reply hoping for the distraction.

He stops momentarily and I can sense his annoyance. They must have cut his hours short tonight and the very realization lets me know, I’ve struck a nerve.

Chuck reaches for his glass again then brings it to his lips. I calculate my next move. He’s drunk and barely able to keep himself hard. I could run past him, with any luck he won’t try to stop me. If not, the bathroom would another area of protection. He had already convinced my mother to remove the locks from my bedroom weeks ago. Claimed he caught a boy in there, when really he didn’t want anything getting in the way of me.

“I-I just realized I dropped phone outside.” I reply slowly making my way back towards the door. He doesn’t move. He only watches me through low lashes as I make my way across the room. The smell of his whiskey finally hits me. In my hurry to make it up stairs, I miss it the first time.

It’s only when my hand reaches the door knob that he gets up and closes the distance between us.

“You never answered my question Layla baby. Were you out, giving that white boy Dominic some victory fun?”

He leans into my back. His penis growing harder by the second.

“N-No.” I stutter as his left hand moves up my backside. He settles his hand at my hips and pull me against him letting out a heavy groan. His breath makes me want to gag and I find myself frozen as he places a kiss on my neck where Dominic’s lips had been only moments ago.

“Cuz he’s not good enough.”

It’s not a question. It’s a statement. I don’t say anything. I just want it to be over. I know what he wants. He wants to touch me and in his drunken state, it will all be over soon.

“Give me your hand,” he whispers in my ear. I don’t do it so he reaches around me and pulls away from the door knob and forces me to wrap my hand around him.

“AH that’s it.” He groans. “Now stroke it.”

I close my eyes and do as I’m told trying to put my mind anywhere but here in this moment. It’s hard to do. The louder he moans the more that picture fades. I’m nearly knocked off balance when he spins me around and slams my back against the door. This was unlike him. Unlike what he usually expected of me. If he forced me on my knees I’d fight it, but he doesn’t. Instead he cups my sex through my jeans and I cringe in horror.

“Oh c’mon Layla, you know you like it. You’ve developed so well. That ass, is just begging for me to touch it.”

I push at his chest and he stumbles back. I won’t go through with it anymore. I’m stronger than this. He doesn’t stumble far enough that I can make it out of the front door so I head straight for the kitchen. He swears loudly as he follows me right on my heels.

“Stay away!” I yell back at him hoping this would call him off.  It doesn’t and when I feel his arm wrap around me and yank me against the island of the kitchen, I’m almost knocked out of breath. He’s angry. My fist pounding into his chest are no match for his strength.  He scoops me onto the island and tears at my jeans yanking my underwear down with it. It’s at this moment, that I know what he intends to do.

I land a single blow against his chin but his hard swung back hand knocks me nearly unconscious. Whatever strength I had left was all I could must to carry me through his next round of assaults. The pain of him entering me, sends my mind into a distant haze where I knew Perdue would never become my reality.