Penname: swirly_girl [Contact]

Real name: Ny

Member Since: August 04 2014

Membership status: Member

Bio:

Trying my hand at a childhood dream. Hopefully, you'll like my style.




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Reviews by swirly_girl


Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarhalf-star
[Reviews - 131]
Summary:

 

 

Arranged Marriage- a marriage arranged by someone other than the couple getting wedded, curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship.

It's 2009 and Thea Malebranche could have sworn the archaic practice didn't occur here in America. But Apparently, she was mistaken. 

Definition Courtesy of Wikipedia && Banner Courtesy of the lovely Minx

 

 

 

 

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: None
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Drugs/Drug Use, Original Characters, Sexual Content
Series: None
Chapters: 4
Completed:No
Word count: 6105
Read Count: 9626
Published: November 14 2011
Updated: May 17 2012


Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Ummm... Give a background story or hints to one... That kind of explains one of the character's quirks... Not too much otherwise ur peeps are predictable and boring.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: February 10 2016

Rated: Mature Content
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 121]
Summary:

 

What happens when a player meets the only woman who will make him beg...
This is what Julian finds out when he collides into her...
A story about the perfect synchronocity

This story is my property. Please do not copy or post it or extract it to any other websites. Copyright 2011 VMMckeon

 



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Drama, Suspense
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, BDSM, Character Death, Extreme Language, Original Characters, Racism, Rape, Sexual Content , Spritualism, Strong Sexual Content , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 23
Completed:No
Word count: 54086
Read Count: 259620
Published: November 14 2011
Updated: August 04 2017


Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 17. Damage control

This is truly one of the best written stories on Valentchamber... yeah!



Author's Response:

Thank you!

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: January 28 2017

Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21. Let the truth sting!

Okay, went to Amazon to purchase The One, but like always I read the reviews. I was very disappointed. The kindle price is nearly $10 (given it is over 500 pages) and a few of the reviews state the same issue I had already noted on Valentchamber. I want to purchase the ebook, but I was hoping a published version would have revised and edited the constant and repeated flashbacks, apparently purchased readers said it didn't. Even Mallory Malone and Sienna Minx's kindle versions with their numerous successes and publishings are at least about $5 or $7. Why pay an exorbitant price for a book that is reputed for repeating pages. If this story is revised, i would happily purchase it and recommend it.



Author's Response:

Fisrt off, thanks for reading the chapters.

About the reviews you read, I can only say each person is free to have their opinions, but the chapters are not repeated, the flashback are essentials because they point to each person interpretation of one event and how they act/react according to what they feel to the event. This is why each character have their own voice.

it is not for everyone, but it is what is is, and as a writer I don't change my style of writing or storytelling to suits comments.

And yes, the price reflects the work. a 800 pages book cannot be the same price of a 150 pages novel.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: May 10 2017

Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 23. The heart of the matter

Wow, so ugh drama... I d84;a039; it! Update plz.

see, these r the kind of romances I live for.😜

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: August 12 2017

Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 23. The heart of the matter

Wow, so much drama... I d84;a039; it! Update plz.

see, these r the kind of romances I live for.😜



Author's Response:

Thank you. Glad you enjoy it!

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: August 12 2017

Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 265]
Summary:

Welcome to the city of Baltimore, MD and into the life of Devyn McKnight. Jewelry designer and entrepreneur, Devyn McKnight, thought she was secure in the shell she built around her life, made of family, friends and her jewelry business but an unexpected encounter challenges all that she is and all that she believes she wants to be.  

 



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Drama, Friendship, Romance
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Extreme Language, Original Characters, Strong Sexual Content
Series: Journey
Chapters: 32
Completed:Yes
Word count: 91963
Read Count: 104079
Published: December 11 2011
Updated: January 07 2014


Title: Chapter 32: Chapter 30

Aside from the typos... great story!

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: February 15 2015

Rated: All Ages
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 169]
Summary:

 

 

Photobucket

Christmas is a time of giving and Henrietta Young is about to give the perfect gift to someone who doesn't deserve it.

 

 

The Gift  is an original work of fiction. Please do not copy or post this story to any other websites. Copyright 2011 BRAnderson



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: Inspirational
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: None
Challenges: The Gift
Series: New Beginnings
Chapters: 1
Completed:Yes
Word count: 3349
Read Count: 5889
Published: December 21 2011
Updated: December 21 2011


Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This is cool, and I noticed the following stories are complete too, yippee... I know that was lame, but whatever! :)

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: February 27 2015

Rated: Mature Content
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 30]
Summary:

 

Adina Rush and Ant Bianchi are back...

 

There's a complication...

 

How far will Ant go to win the girl?



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: Original Character(s)
Classification: General
Genre: Comedy , Drama, Friendship, Romance
Story Status: None
Pairings: Male/Female
Warnings: Adult Situations, Character Death, Dark Fic, Extreme Language, Graphic Violence, Original Characters, Sexual Content , Un-betaed
Series: The Ties that Bind
Chapters: 4
Completed:Yes
Word count: 5354
Read Count: 19321
Published: January 03 2012
Updated: February 19 2012


Title: Chapter 4: Eternal Vows

Enticing 

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: August 10 2015

Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 22]
Summary:

stories/2000/images/PBwaS.jpg

In NYC, all species come together with out fear of being shunned for who they are. Well, unless they got caught up in the Black Market, of course. It's the city where you can be yourself, as long as you have the power to back yourself up. Love and Life. Little Fae, Jacqueline Sabi, has a lot to learn when it comes to the outside world. When being the last of your kind makes you #1 on everyone's most wanted list, who can you trust? Vampires? Witches? Or the race that imprisoned you, werewolves?


 Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

 



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction, Miscellaneous
Characters: None
Classification: Supernatural
Genre: Action-Adventure , Drama, Erotica, Fantasy, Romance
Story Status: None
Pairings: Male/Female
Warnings: Adult Situations, Dark Fic, Extreme Language, Graphic Violence, Original Characters, Sexual Content , Strong Sexual Content , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 4
Completed:No
Word count: 6605
Read Count: 3469
Published: February 03 2012
Updated: February 04 2012


Title: Chapter 1: Cast Pics

Okay, wow...  I like this story and I think I see where it is going, but for right now, a whole lot is going on. Meaning the werewolf hunters, struggling to finish understanding her developing powers, her new acquaintances (Maggie, Cherise, the Twins, and Dominic), not to forget the ones in the cast page. Please keep in mind, this is constructive criticism.

Explain why her village was attacked and she only was kept alive by werewolves, but then in the beginning it sounds as if someone controls the werewolves, but then that is never devolved once she jumps in the river.

Pleases give a little more details (back history).When characters speak, give each their own paragraph break, it's easier to follow the conversations. 

I hope you will continue this story.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: July 26 2016

Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 615]
Summary:

 

When rockstar Adam Brand makes a racist remark during a drunken magazine interview, it becomes an international headline.  Within hours his PR Agent concocts the perfect plan to revive his rapidly sinking career before it’s too late, but will Adam be able to pull it off?

 

**** STEREO has been removed for editing, refining and if all goes according to plan, publishing! I couldn't have finished it without all my readers leaving their words and thoughts--even if I didn't always like them--so THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. <3



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: General
Genre: Drama, Erotica, Friendship
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Extreme Language, Original Characters, Racism, Strong Sexual Content , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 18
Completed:Yes
Word count: 922
Read Count: 90702
Published: March 24 2012
Updated: August 30 2014


Title: Chapter 17: “I just want you to be happy Adam.”

First of all, your story was great! You won so many points with me; #1, being the story was Los Angeles based; #2, I grew up off of Florence Avenue in L.A., #3, I bought my 1st home by myself in Inglewood before I met my husband; and #4, I am A fan of Adam Levin. Besides ur story was very original... Yeah. Some stories on here may be original as well, but I've come to discover many are a snooze-fest. So thank you. 

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: August 17 2014

Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 68]
Summary:

Noah Bianchi has been in lust for his new secretary Eliza from the moment he met her, but how will he introduce her to his dominant lifestlye? By bending her over his desk of course.



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: General
Genre: Comedy , Erotica, Friendship, Romance
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: BDSM, Original Characters, Strong Sexual Content , Work in Progress
Challenges: Chains & Whips Excite Me
Series: None
Chapters: 2
Completed:No
Word count: 7176
Read Count: 8085
Published: July 26 2012
Updated: August 10 2012


Title: Chapter 2: Said the Spider to the Fly

Nice... continue plz?

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: February 15 2016

Title: Chapter 2: Said the Spider to the Fly

Pretty good, too wordy at times, but can't wait to read the updates.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: September 18 2014

Title: Chapter 1: Come Into My Web

Please, please limit your paragraphs to no more than about 8 or 9 sentences. Your paragraphs are too big, it's a bit much to read... Gives the impression the dialogue will go on forever. I hope you don't mind the constructive criticism.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: February 25 2015

Rated: Members ONLY:Mature Content
starstarstarstarhalf-star
[Reviews - 36]
Summary:

Playboy and U.S. gold metal swimmer, Ryan Lochte had everything he wanted until he saw the one woman he couldn’t live without in teammate and arch rival Michael Phelps’ arms.  Friday Jones was not his type but he wasn’t going to leave London without making her his girl Friday.



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: General
Genre: None
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Dubcon, Extreme Language, Original Characters, Sexual Content , Strong Sexual Content , Un-betaed , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 1
Completed:No
Word count: 1771
Read Count: 718
Published: August 10 2012
Updated: August 10 2012


Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I liked how this started off. Anticipating the following chapters.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: August 09 2015

Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I will rate when there is another chapter. I like what you have so far.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: November 02 2015

Retired
Rated: Mature Content
starstarstarstarhalf-star
[Reviews - 286]
Summary:

stories/2209/images/To_Love_the_Devil__copy_Fotor2.jpg

 

 

Loving a man is hard enough try loving the devil?

 

How do you love a man that doesn't want to be love?

 

How can you care for a person who could careless about you?

 

How do you try to find a soul mate from a soulless man?

 

Jacqueline finds herself sold to devil she try's to unfreeze a heart that seems untouchable.

 

The harder she try's to love him the more lost she gets into the battle of loving the devil.



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: General
Genre: Drama
Story Status: None
Pairings: Male/Female
Warnings: Adult Situations
Series: None
Chapters: 16
Completed:No
Word count: 58549
Read Count: 113968
Published: September 24 2012
Updated: March 31 2016


Title: Chapter 16: 99 Problems

I like this story, but I just realized, you don't do love scenes... Do you? It's okay, I guess with all the erotica out there as a reader you kind of learn to expect it. But it was confusing at times when it was implied they did something, I wa back reading chapters trying to locate where Jack finally physically accepted him. I know she interested and aroused, but never found when she actually became intimate with him. It has been awhile since I read this 11/2015. Oh well, can't wait for the ne t chapter.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: April 02 2016

Title: Chapter 16: 99 Problems

I like this story, but I just realized, you don't do love scenes... Do you? It's okay, I guess with all the erotica out there as a reader you kind of learn to expect it. But it was confusing at times when it was implied they did something, I wa back reading chapters trying to locate where Jack finally physically accepted him. I know she interested and aroused, but never found when she actually became intimate with him. It has been awhile since I read this 11/2015. Oh well, can't wait for the ne t chapter.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: April 03 2016

Title: Chapter 15: Tell'Em I Said That

I like the story, and I'm sure I am not the 1st to say this.... Plz proofread or get a beta reader. I am not saying this as a put down, I love the plot... but the gazillion typos take away from the story.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: November 02 2015

Retired
Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 776]
Summary:

 photo ad464306-f024-4736-9783-e93fc6a1e338_zps94f086eb.jpg

 

Jayden made the biggest mistake of his life when he let the love of his life slip through his fingers.  Could he make it right and start anew?  Tamaeya had been burned by Jayden once and had no intentions of being burnt a second time, but it seemed that the heart had it's own mind.



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: None
Genre: None
Story Status: None
Pairings: None
Warnings: Strong Sexual Content
Series: None
Chapters: 1
Completed:No
Word count: 4965
Read Count: 108478
Published: February 06 2013
Updated: April 19 2017


Title: Regret

Interesting update, I didn't like Nancy at first (of course), but then this tale is an excellent example of truly erasing prejudices. Now that I know Nancy's background story, I really feel sorry for her.

 

 

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: April 26 2017

Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 49]
Summary:

 

We all have that special someone. It just takes some a little longer to find theirs. 

Mila was always a happy girl, and her friends and family always said she was beautiful.. So why couldn’t she find a man?

Mac was a playboy (How cliché right?)! Tall, tan, and extremely handsome. He didn’t need a girlfriend or a love at the moment. He needed to make partner at the firm. 

Mac and Mila are two people who just happen to cross paths but can their interest in each other surface? or will it be another disappointment to Mila. Only time will tell. 

 



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: General
Genre: Comedy , Drama, Erotica, Friendship, Romance
Story Status: Active
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Extreme Language, Graphic Violence, Original Characters, Racism, Sexual Content , Strong Sexual Content , Un-betaed , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 8
Completed:No
Word count: 18172
Read Count: 12151
Published: February 10 2013
Updated: July 08 2015


Title: Chapter 8: Are Charity Events Fun?

Your story is good, but some things that are mentioned (Because hun, you made your bed and it's time to lay in it) okay that came out of nowhere... What is the backstory on that comment and their relationship? I can see where the tale might be going, but it needs some... Hmm, help. Sorry if my opinion annoyed you. That was not my intent.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: August 12 2016

Title: Chapter 8: Are Charity Events Fun?

Your story is good, but some things that are mentioned (Because hun, you made your bed and it's time to lay in it) okay that came out of nowhere... What is the backstory on that comment and their relationship? I can see where the tale might be going, but it needs some... Hmm, help. Sorry if my opinion annoyed you. That was not my intent.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: August 12 2016

Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarhalf-star
[Reviews - 72]
Summary:

starved photo art_gallery_zps67afe175.jpg


Lana and Lucas have an arrangement. Something that works for the both of them. At least Lana thought it did.



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: General
Genre: Drama, Romance
Story Status: Active
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Original Characters, Sexual Content , Un-betaed
Series: None
Chapters: 6
Completed:Yes
Word count: 8868
Read Count: 11846
Published: March 12 2013
Updated: April 13 2013


Title: Chapter 6: Is that all it takes?

Nice and I got her from the beginning. She had many layers and it was nice that Lucas was so patient and determined to see them through.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: July 24 2016

Rated: Mature Content
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 192]
Summary:

stories/890/images/NLMGBanner.png

Chance. I don't believe in it. Everything that happens in our life happens for a reason. I've always believed that. But, it's funny. Who would have thought a night of clubbing could result in my marriage to the tattooed quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers?    



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: General
Genre: Drama, Romance
Story Status: Active
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, Drugs/Drug Use, Extreme Language, Graphic Violence, Original Characters, Racism, Sexual Content , Un-betaed , Work in Progress
Series: None
Chapters: 29
Completed:No
Word count: 88367
Read Count: 172802
Published: March 16 2013
Updated: March 14 2016


Title: Chapter 21: Birthdays and Letting Go

Wow. Nice twist added. Can't wait for more.

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: February 18 2015

Title: Chapter 22: Changes and Firsts {Part 1} {Fixed}

What is with the inserted linguistic "O's?" 



Author's Response:

I have NO idea. It's beyond frustrating though. No matter what I do, they won't seem to go away. So sorry for the inconvenience ! 

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: April 07 2015

Rated: 17 and older
starstarstarstarstar
[Reviews - 70]
Summary:

Masks

 

“We understand how dangerous a mask can be. We all become what we pretend to be.” 
 Patrick RothfussThe Name of the Wind

 

 



Table of Contents
Categories: Original Fiction
Characters: None
Classification: General
Genre: Comedy , Drama, Family, Friendship, Romance
Story Status: Active
Pairings: None
Warnings: Adult Situations, BDSM, Character Death, Drugs/Drug Use, Extreme Language, Fluff, Graphic Violence, Original Characters, Racism, Sexual Content , Spritualism, Strong Sexual Content
Series: The Masquerade
Chapters: 4
Completed:Yes
Word count: 6636
Read Count: 8475
Published: May 14 2013
Updated: July 08 2013


Title: Chapter 4: Betting On The Losing Team

More please...

Reviewer: swirly_girl Signed
Date: October 08 2016

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.