I really like this story, especially the leading cast who are multi-dimensional people with intriguing life-stories so, let’s start with Arianna…she’s witty, intelligent, feisty, she has diva-potential but she’s humble, almost shy or timid about her appearance even though she masks her insecurities well. When she tenses as Colin innocently touches her back or tells Jennifer she has no family and that she’s ‘not worth’ ruining Colin’s reputation were quite telling about who she is. And as their journey progresses, we learn snippets about her past and why she’s emotionally challenged…at that point one realizes she’s much more than a pretty façade. (btw, I like the image you chose in the banner to represent Arianna.) Somewhere along the way there was a disconnect with Arianna’s character- so-much-so that I had to start from the beginning to reevaluate and appreciate the complex nature of the material and as I absorb her diverse persona, I feel strongly that Arianna remains ‘intact’, a virgin. Yes there’s mention of abuse, however, below the exterior of brazen attitude…there’s an underlying innocence about the way she reacts to men, to her spouse- an unconsummated farce their union may be- but her husband none-the-less.
Which poses another question…why didn’t they consummate their marriage on their wedding night? Did she divulge something about herself or her past that neither can remember due to excessive intoxication? Makes ya go mmmmm
Colin is an aloof, open-book piece of sexy! LUV the strong, silent types yet he’s charismatic, approachable, accomplished, knows how to have a good time- an undercover nerd and a genuinely nice guy. The way he dotes on his wife without being overwhelming or sappy is adorable: he dropped whatever he was doing to give her and her ‘sisters’ a ride, he called Kay and Maya to accompany them to the party just so Aria wouldn’t feel out-of-place, he spent the night watching movies with her and hell…buying a total stranger an expensive ass ring says a lot about the man he is. The fact that he’s not afraid of her ‘issues’ nor is he willing to walk away from their potential future endears him to me.
Love your writing, grammatical errors are virtually nonexistent…my only complaint is that it would be nice to include scene continuity between chapters every now and then. For example: Aria and Colin’s beach scene should’ve – imho – continued in the subsequent update. I know this is hella long and I apologize for that but I had to share my thoughts with you. Looking forward to the next installment. Great job! J
Author's Response: Oh.My.God.
You have no idea how big a smile I had on my face when I saw your review. Ironically, I was on the phone with my co-author when I read it. I was beyond estatic and so was she. This has to be the most thorough and detailed review I've ever had. Than you a million times a million. I'm always questioning this story, my writing, the plot, etc. But it's people like you and reviews likes yours that always seem to keep me going. Yes, Aria is an extremely complex character. She's not always likable and that's what I want. In the past, I've struggled with making my main characters too Mary Sue-esque. (lol). So, I'm attempting to make this one the complete opposite. No, she's not the antagonist, but she's not always so pratagonist-like. I really like Colin. His character is so chill and nonchalant. He's probably the easisest one to write for. It's funny though, I ususally have a bad habbit of making my stories drag on. So, I've been trying to keep things going, but I will definitely start alternating with continuing certain chapters and mini time-jumps. Oh, and as far as my grammar......THANK YOU. That's another thing I'm also double-tripple questioning all the time. You have to admit though, I do tend to make a lot of simple mistake. They bug me to no end, but that's one of my weaknesses as a writer: effective and thorough proofreading. Okay, I'll wrap this up now. Again, thank you!!!!!
The next chapter should be up in a couple days.
:)
Thanks for reading and REVIEWING!
-Amby
