Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Less than an hour and a half later, the doctor came out to find the people who were waiting for Cassie. She eyed the waiting room critically, unsure of who to speak with. Though there were only a few groups of people present none of them seemed Afro-American was her train of thought. Dean looked up and saw her just before she would have had the receptionist announce that they needed to speak with Cassie Robinson’s family. Dean moved Megan from his shoulder, where she slept, to Erin’s waiting arms. Megan wiggled around at the disturbance.
“Daddy?” she asked as she raised her head just as Dean got up.
He looked down at her with a smile in his green eyes, he loved her so much.
“I’ll be back Baby Girl I have to go talk to the doctor okay.”
She looked in his eyes searchingly, “K,” she said before she laid her head on her Aunt Erin’s shoulder.
When Dean stood in front of the doctor the tall blonde-haired woman looked questioningly at him.
“Yes?”
“Were you looking for Cassie Robinson’s family?”
The doctor was speechless for a moment as she eyed Dean. She didn’t realized that she was staring but he was so unlike the person she had expected to speak with about Cassie. She cleared her throat, she knew better than to pre-judge people but she was only human and this had thrown her off a bit.
“Um, yes,” she finally said as she switched back into doctor/surgeon mode.
“Is she okay? When can we see her?” Dean asked with hope.
He hoped beyond all else that Megan was mistaken. Cassie needed to be around to raise their daughter. He needed Cassie to be around for Megan.
“I’m sorry, we can only speak with blood relatives,” the doctor said in full professional mode now.
“Well, um, Dr. Grant, I’m her baby’s daddy,” Dean said a bit angrily, “She came to this state to visit us,” he said as he pointed to the little sad group in the waiting area.
“So, no one related is here?”
“Her daughter but she is three, now will you just tell me what the hell is going on?” he almost yelled in the doctor’s face.
She took a step back. Dean’s face was red. He began to breathe raggedly. He felt a panic attack coming on. Why wouldn’t she just tell him what was happening?
“Hey you okay?” Dr. Grant asked as she touched his arm.
He pushed her hand away, before he ran his hands through his longish hair.
“I’m fine how the hell is Cassie?” he asked with a most anguish look on his face.
In his heart he knew. He needed to hear, but he dreaded as much as he had anything since his father had died.
“Mr. Uh?”
“McGillicudy……”
“Cassie has passed on, we couldn’t save her. It was just too late. She…. May have been in pain a while. If she had only….”
“So you couldn’t save her? She was pregnant she didn’t have a deadly disease,” he said angrily in her face.
The doctor took another step back, before Ari approached the two of them.
“Every thing okay?” she asked as he put her hand on Dean’s shoulder.
He turned to her with sadness in his eyes. The last time she had seen that look had been at the cemetery when her father had died. At times, she noticed Dean took on other people’s pain. He was a passionate man despite the measures he took to stay closed off.
“Mr. McGillicudy, the pregnancy was not viable.”
Dean looked at her with a quirked eyebrow, before the doctor continued her statement.
“It was not in her uterus where it should have been,” she said as she looked at Ari with hopes that maybe the woman would continue the explanation with her friend or whoever Mr. McGillicudy was to her.
“Oh,” Dean said.
He was not so much concerned with the details as with the fact that Cassie was gone forever. For just a moment, he began to have regrets about them. Not the kind of regrets that had anything to do with his love for Ari. Regrets that made him reconsider choices he had made. His life was changing again. He promised himself he would make sure Megan stayed with them. He had always wanted more time with her and as much as he had never wanted Cassie to die this was his chance.
While he was in thought the doctor wandered off after she gave them the news. Ari took Dean’s arm before she looked into his eyes.
“I need to call her mother,” he said as he disentangled himself from his wife and went toward the sliding glass door.
Ari stood only a moment as she watched him walk out the door. She bit her lip as he turned to go tell Sarah, Erin and the girls about Cassie.
Outside, the reality of the situation hit Dean. He sat down on the nearest bench. He pulled out the cell phone but didn’t dial right away. No, God I never wanted her to die, you know that I still had feelings for her. He looked up as he saw a couple walk into the front of the door. The woman looked as though she might have her baby at any second. Dean sighed. Life and death or only a breath a part. He laughed to himself that sounded a lot like Sam. He pondered if his brother was rubbing off on him. Then he realized he was stalling.
He reached for the phone again. Instead of calling Diane he phoned Sam to give him the news.
“Oh my gosh, Dean I am so sorry. That is so unexpected, I mean all of it.”
“I can’t believe it is so unreal. I really need to call her mother; we will back in a bit, okay. Oh how are the boys?”
“Good basically, John Michael is getting used to me and Braeden is good as usual.”
“That’s good, talk soon,” he said before he determined he would make the hard call.
Inside the hospital, Megan had gone back to sleep on Erin’s shoulder while Amber dozed with her head in Ari’s lap. The three women sat lost in their own thoughts while they, waited on Dean. Sarah for one felt a bit depressed as she got up to go make a call to Sam. She wondered off in the opposite direction from Dean since she thought he would want to make his call undisturbed.
Before he could get the number dialed, Dean lost all control of his emotions. The tears began as only a sting behind his eyes but before he could stop them they were wet on his cheeks. He took a deep breath as he heard the door near him open. He closed his cell then wandered off to take a walk. The further he got from the building the more the tears flowed freely. When he looked up again he realized he was on the other side of the building. He pushed his tears away with the back of his hand as he determined he would get his task done so they could get Megan home. Home, he thought, his and Cassie’s daughter was going to his home. He hoped Diane agreed she should be with him and Ari.
***
That night Dean, Ari and the girls were all gathered in the same bed. The twins were sound asleep after a day of hanging with Anthony and Sam. Megan had taken up the spot on Dean’s chest, despite the fact that she was no infant. Dean hadn’t minded until her sleeping weight gave him second thoughts. He moved to reposition her and she woke up.
“Daddy?” she said sleepily.
“Yeah, Baby Girl, I’m here,” he said as he moved her hair down on her head.
“Don’t leave,” she said with a sad voice.
She was so aware of everything that happened. Dean felt she was too young to experience so much sadness. First her grandfather had died when she was a baby now her mother. He moved his finger over the tiny nose.
“I’m not going any where but you are such a big girl I think we need to resituate here,” he said with a grin.
Megan laughed at the comment. Then she covered her mouth when he put his finger up to his lips to indicate she should be quieter. Her expression was priceless; her big hazel eyes rose as she held in a giggle. Ari watched silently as Megan moved so she could lay her head on her daddy’s chest. Dean’s face was one big smile as they settled back down.
He looked up at Ari and gave her a wink. Amber slept through it all snuggled next to her mother’s side.
Sarah was upset that night as she and Sam snuggled on the sofa. She had never been good with death. Having Cassie practically die in front of here was bad enough but to have to carry the secret Cassie had shared only made it worse. She sighed against Sam’s chest. She considered her options. She could forget Cassie’s confession or she could get advice from Sam. Except Sam might feel he had to tell Dean and that would not be good.
She looked up to see that Sam watched her.
“You okay?” he asked as he reached to touch her lips with his finger.
“I don’t know but I am having a bit of a crisis.”
Sam moved his hand to touch her dark hair. His crisis was rising in his boxers. He tried very hard not to think of how much he wanted Sarah. He knew beyond all reason the time was all wrong.
“You can tell me anything,” he said as his puppy dog eyes settled on her green ones.
Sarah took a deep breath, forgive me Cassie.
“Cassie said she still loved Dean……before……she um went into surgery,” she confessed.
Sam was quiet. He bit his lip before he chewed it for a moment.
“I had hoped she had gotten over him after he married Ari, but it isn’t something that really matters now.”
“I know but……it seems so tragic.”
“Love triangles usually are,” Sam said with sudden sadness in his eyes.
“I suppose they are but there wasn’t as triangle here. Who are you referring to?”
Sam’s lack of response irritated Sarah as she sat up to look at him.
“Who?”
“No one in particular it was just a comment.”
She knew she was being touchy when all she wanted was for him to hold her close. If she could only get the image of Cassie in pain out of her head. Her face crumbled before Sam’s eyes. He leaned up to pull her back down with him.
“It’s okay it will take time to get past this,” he said into her hair.
At the same time, Erin and Anthony spoke in low tones in her room.
“Poor Megan, to have a gift like that at such a young age.”
“Is she still going to go to that school?” Anthony asked.
“I don’t know, Dean wants her to stay her with them. More than likely he has not thought of the school today. It has been a trying twenty-four hours,” she said as she moved her head to Anthony’s shoulder.
“That is an understatement,” he replied before he kissed her forehead as they settled down for the night.
***
A week later, they all gathered in Cape Girardeau for Cassie’s funeral. They spent the night at Cassie’s mother, Diane’s home. She didn’t want to be alone so close to time for the service plus she insisted her sister was driving her nuts. She had agreed with Dean that Megan should live with him and her brothers.
“You know you’re welcome any time,” Dean said as they readied to go to bed that night.
“Oh believe me, you never know I might move to Chicago instead of with my nagging sister, I plan to be around to visit my only granddaughter,” she said as her voice broke.
Ari reached to hug the older woman as she tried to hold back her tears.
“I’m glad that Cassie met you Dean. I know it may not have worked out like it could have but, you are a good man,” she said before saying her good nights and leaving the room.
The twins were set up in the portable cribs in the guest room with Dean and Ari while Amber was with Megan in her room. Sam, Sarah and Erin were downstairs on the sofa bed and the day bed. Anthony had stayed at the house with Chet since they were only going to be gone a couple days he decided to get some of his work done from the home office. He reasoned with Erin that he would be able to focus better while she was away. Erin had reminded him he was supposed to be relaxing not working, before she had grinned at him before she dragged him off to the bed the night before they left.
When all was quiet Dean went out so sit on the patio and found Sam already there.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Sam asked.
“No, looking for an alone spot,” Dean said with a half smile.
“Yeah, No, you won’t be alone for several years now,” Sam answered as he looked at his brother.
Dean had been a rock for Megan over the last week, Sam was certain if his brother had ever cried. He did wonder about that but it wasn’t something he could ask. Dean had everyone fooled except himself. He had wondered off to consider him and Cassie’s time together, more than once while the kids and Ari napped or when Sam and Sarah had gone off to do who knows what together.
“I kind of got that impression,” Dean replied.
Sam expressed how he still had a hard time with the situation. Cassie’s death had thrown them all for a loop. She was so young and vibrant one minute then no time later she was gone. Of course, they recalled how the doctor suspected Cassie might have known something was up before she had visited them. Obviously, she had not understood the levity of her situation. Dean wasn’t so convinced since he knew she would not knowingly have put Megan or herself in danger. They sit quietly for several moments before Dean goes back up stairs.
On his way to the guest room he decided to take a look into Cassie’s old room. He stood at the door with a sigh. It smelled of her slightly floral fragrance she loved to wear. It made her stubbornness easier to take at times. She was so delicate but sassy he recalled. He stepped into the room tentatively. When he saw her laptop he couldn’t resist a look at what she was working before she left. He touched the center pad and the screensaver disappeared only for several small shot of him and her together to appear in its place. She had used an old photograph of them on her desktop.
Dean was stunned he had not considered she would not have a picture of Megan or Vince or she and Vince together. Of course he was unaware of how that relationship stood. He could only stare at the computer. The picture was of the two of them that was taken in a photo booth not long after they first met in Ohio. He had known she wasn’t totally over him or he thought that was a possibility until Vince had shown up on the scene. He shook his head as he sighed again just before Ari made her presence known.
“You okay?” she asked as it seemed to Dean she was going to come in the room. Since the desk was faced to the wall he realized Ari was unaware of what was on the screen so he got up to meet her halfway.
“I’m doing well,” he said as he took her hand and they went to the room.
***
The next morning Dean dressed the boys while Ari went to do the same for the girls. He gave her a shaky smile before she left the room in her fitted black buttoned front dress that hit her just below the knee. John Michael and Braeden wore matching one piece navy blue short sets. Not that it was necessary for them to wear a dark color to the funeral it was just that it blended in with the rest of the family. Dean dressed himself when he was done with boys. He was in the midst of tying his tie when Ari came back to the room.
“Done so soon?”
Diane wanted to dress Megan this last time I left Amber to keep them company. Here let me do that,” she said.
Dean raised his neck for her to complete the knot on the tie but when she was done he pulled her into his arms.
“I love you so much,” she said with a bit of fear in his voice.
He leaned down to kiss her waiting lips without hesitation.
Ashes to Ashes
Dust to Dust
We are born to die
From the day of our birth we are dying
Each day is a step toward the grave
From the earth we were born,
To the earth we return.
Why are we afraid to die?
When it is our destiny.
All we can do is our best,
Everyday do your best.
Tomorrow is not promised
Amen
TBC
Pls leave feedback