Lynne rolled over and unconsciously slid her hand over to the left side of the bed.  Saul’s side.  When her hand didn’t meet the warmth of his body, last night came flooding back.  She rolled back over and curled into the fetal position.  

Cameron entered the room carrying a tray carrying breakfast.  

“Mom, I brought you toast, a poached egg and tea”, her daughter said.

“Oh, Cammie.  I don’t think I could eat right now.  I just don’t have the stomach for it.”

“You have to have something, Mom.  I know you don’t feel up to it, but you haven’t eaten anything since last night.”

“Cammie-”

“Just have the tea and toast then.  Mom...please.”

“Alright, honey.  Thank you, I love you.”

Lynne sat up and began nibbling on the toast.  This wasn’t how her life was supposed to be.  She was never one to see any problem as insurmountable.  She’d look at the big picture, devise a plan, and conquer the obstacle head on.  She had no idea how to conquer this one; her heart was broken into a million pieces.  Lynne didn’t know if she could divorce her husband, she loved him.  She didn’t know if she could take him back either.  That just seemed like silent acceptance.  She couldn’t do that, she was NOT her mother.  Lynne had watched her mother turn a blind eye to her dad’s cheating and she swore she would never, COULD never be that woman.  What was worse was that she knew that each time her mother found out that her father had strayed, it destroyed a piece of her mother.  She’d sometimes hear her crying in the bathroom.  Part of her had hated her father for the pain he caused her mother.  If she was honest with herself she had to admit that part of her still harbored some animosity towards her father, even though he’d passed away several years ago.  

She loved her mother, but she didn’t want to put herself through that kind of pain.  There was just no going back now that her trust in Saul was gone.

******************

Cameron went looking for Malachi.  He had withdrawn to his room and became non-communicative.  When she went to his room, he wasn’t there.  She went to the only other place he could possibly be.

Malachi asked for his first guitar when he was four years old.  Their uncle Todd, their mother’s brother, was a musician and Malachi would watch him play his guitar with rapt attention.  By the age of six he was proficient.  By the time he was nine, Uncle Todd was inviting him to jam sessions with his band.  Eventually, he learned to play the piano and the drums.  He was passionate about music and his life’s goal was to make music.  When he was 13, their parents surprised him by soundproofing a room in the basement so that he could practice his music without anyone complaining about the noise.  Cameron was pretty sure where Malachi was.

She walked towards the music room and opened the door to find Malachi aggressively playing his drums.  His eyes were closed and he was drenched in sweat.  At some point, he opened his eyes and saw his sister and stopped his furious playing.  He bent his head and took deep breaths in order to steady his breathing.  Cameron walked over to him.

“Feel better?” she asked.

“No”, he grumbled.  He sat as if lost in thought then angrily threw his drumsticks across the room.

“Hey!  Mal, I know how you feel.  I’m angry at Dad too but lashing helps no one.  Talk to me, tell me what’s going on in your head.”

“How could he do this, Cam??!!  You didn’t see Mom, that night.  I’ve never seen her so hurt, so angry.  You only had to look into her eyes to know that her heart was broken. How could he DO that to her?  I HATE him!!”

“No you don’t and you know it”, Cameron said gently.  “You’re angry and hurt, believe me when I say that I am, too.  You don’t hate him, though.”

“Feels like hate to me.  Whatever it is, I don’t want to EVER see him again!”

Cameron didn’t see the point in arguing the point.  Her brother was allowed to feel how he felt about their Dad.  If he wasn’t feeling in the forgiving mood right now, who was she to protest?  She didn’t have much forgiveness to offer her father at the moment either.

****************

Lynne decided that she needed to take a few days off from work considering the events of the past weekend.  She didn’t think she’d be any good to anyone in her current emotional state.  Lynne was an english teacher at Arbor Mills Middle school.  She loved her job and she loved the kids she taught, but she didn’t think she could handle dealing with them just now.  She called in to the automated system an advised that she’d had a family emergency.  Lynne always had a contingency plan in the event that she had to call out, so she advised that she had a detailed lesson plan and where the sub could locate it.  She didn’t like the idea of her kids getting behind in their lessons because she couldn’t make it to school.

After she finished making the call, Lynne leaned against her headboard, her legs pulled to her chest.  She rested her chin on her knees and looked around the room she’d shared with her husband for 20 years.  They’d bought this house 5 years into their marriage.  She was pregnant with Cameron and their little one bedroom apartment just wasn’t big enough for 2 adults and a baby.  This was the only home her kids had ever known and it was always a happy place.  Saul had tainted that.  The more Lynne thought about the upheaval of not only her life, but the lives of her children, the angrier she got.  Her eyes settled on the closet.  The doors were open and she could see her husband’s clothing.  She got up and started pulling his things out and tossing them onto the floor.  She’d initially started pulling the clothing out one piece at a time, but as her anger began to build she began to pull the clothes out of the closet more frantically.  She began to pull armfuls of suits, shirts, sweaters...everything she could get her hands on and throwing them violently on the floor.  

When she finished emptying the closet of his things, she went to the cherry wood high boy to continue her manic purging.  She pulled out the drawers that contained Saul’s belongings and upended the contents on the growing pile.  She went to the bathroom and cleared all his things from the counter and drawers in there.  She emptied his nightstand as well.  

Once Lynne was satisfied that she’d removed all of Saul’s things from every nook and cranny of the room, she went down to the laundry room and retrieved a box of clear lawn bags.  She shoved the contents of the pile on the floor into several bags, then dragged them down the stairs and unceremoniously dumped the bags on the front lawn.  Once she’d completed her task, she grabbed the house phone and dialed her husband’s cell phone number.  

He answered on the first ring.  Before he could complete his greeting, Lynne curtly said, “Come get your shit.” and disconnected the call.