Cameron and Della were making their way through the grocery store picking up ingredients for the supper she’d planned.  Once they’d gathered all of the ingredients needed, they headed to check out.  While they were standing there Della realized that they’d needed some staples from the dairy aisle.

“Cammie baby, I forgot that we need eggs.  Run and go get some, honey.  Make sure the eggs are-”

“Extra large.  Not large, not jumbo.  Extra large.”  Cameron had been hearing her grandmother’s “egg rule” since she was a little girl.

“Don’t sass me, yungin’.  Just run and go get them eggs.”  Della watched her granddaughter trot off and smiled.

Cameron moved quickly to the dairy aisle and grabbed the carton of eggs.  As she turned to run back to the check out line, she stopped short.  Her father was standing four feet away from her.  They both gaped at one another for what felt like hours.  Saul began to walk slowly toward his daughter like she was a bull that would charge him if he made any sudden movements.  When he was about a foot away he spoke.

“Hi baby. H-how are you?”  He asked, softly.  He knew that she would light into him, and he knew he’d deserve every bit of whatever she’d unleash on him.  When she spoke to him, however, there was no venom, no anger.  It shocked him and it made him feel even guiltier than if she’d unleashed on him.

“I’m okay, all things considered”,  she said evenly.  “How are you?”

“I’ve been better”, he replied.

“Yeah, so has mom.  And Mal.”  

“I know...I-”

“Why’d you do it, Daddy?”  Cameron said, interrupting him.  “Was it that you just weren’t happy at home?  How could you do that to Mom?”

“Cameron, it’s a complicated issue and now is not really the time or pla-”

“What’s complicated about it?  You had an affair and shattered your family.  Seems pretty simple.  But you’re right, now’s not the time or place.”  Cameron was surprised at how calm she was, considering her heart felt like it was about to pound out of her chest.  “So what’s a good time and place to talk?  Because I REALLY need to know why this WOMAN was worth the risk to your marriage.”

“If you want to stop by the hotel tomorrow afternoon, we can talk then.  If you want.”  

“Yes, let’s do that, then.  Oh...at some point you need to talk to Mal.  He’s really angry and he’s hurting.  He may not be receptive to talking to you at first.  In fact, I know he won’t be, but keep trying.  Oh, and if you really want Mom back, you’ve got some heavy duty ass kissing to do.  There’s no guarantee she’ll forgive you, but you still need to start groveling.”

All Saul could do was nod.  His daughter had always been level-headed and pragmatic, but it was like she had aged 10 years in the past week.  There was a loss of innocence and he was directly responsible for it.  He hated himself for taking that innocence from her.  He hated himself for ruining his family.

“Well, I’m gonna go now, Dad.  Don’t forget to reach out to Malachi.  Maybe next week you should just come to the house.  Take your lumps like a grown up.”

Before Saul could respond to that, Cameron walked past him and headed to the check out counter.

***************************

When Cameron got back to the check out counter, her grandmother had already paid for the other groceries, so she just paid for the eggs and walked to the bench Della was sitting on.

“Well that took a long time.  I thought you went to the farm to collect the eggs ya’self.”

“I ran into my dad.”  Cameron said, her voice tinged with sadness.

“Oh Lord.  I didn’t hear no yelling and screaming so you must notta talked to him.”

“No, I talked to him.  I’m kinda surprised I remained as calm as I did.”

“Well, what did he say? Did he explain hisself?”

“No, but what could he really say in a few minutes?  He said that it was a complicated issue and that he’s been having a tough time of it.”  Cameron said, with undisguised sarcasm.

Della barked out a humorless laugh.  “HE’S having a hard time???  Well poor, precious baby.”  

“Yeah.  Let’s get out of here, grandma.  I don’t want to see him again.”

****************************

Saul sat in his car in the parking lot of the grocery store, staring blankly out of his windshield.  Cameron’s words were echoing in his head.  “Come to the house.  Take your lumps like a grown up.”  She was right, he was avoiding facing his wife and kids and their hurt and anger.  If he wanted to save his marriage, he had to face the fallout of what he’d done.  He pulled out his phone and dialed a familiar number.  His call went directly to voicemail.

“Hello, Lynne.  I know I’m probably the last person you want to speak to right now, but I was hoping that we could talk.  I’m not push you, but...I just want to talk to you.  I miss you and I just want to try to work things out.  I’ll understand if you don’t want to see me ever again, but can we please just try?  I love you, please call me.”

Saul disconnected the call.  The next number he dialed was his son’s.

“Yeah”, Malachi said when he answered the call.

Saul had to admit to himself that he’d expected a much worse reception.

“Hey son.” he said awkwardly.  “I was calling to see how you were doing.”

“Gee, Dad, I’m just peachy keen.  Never been better”, Malachi responded, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I know you’re angry, Mal.  I deserve your anger and so much more.  You, your mom and your sister deserve so much more than you’ve gotten from me.  I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

“Well thank you, Dad.  Thank you for considering our feelings AFTER the fact.  And of COURSE you’re sorry.  It’s EASY to say sorry after the crap hits the fan.  Just like it would have been EASY for you NOT to cheat on Mom.  There’s no excuse for what you did.” Malachi’s voice was thick with emotion as the words just tumbled out of him.

“ I admired you, I looked UP to you, I wanted to be LIKE you.  I used to tell my friends that you were the greatest man that I’ve ever known, and you made me a liar.  Hey, I guess I’m like you after all.  I don’t want you to call me anymore, Dad.  There’s nothing else I want to say to you and there’s nothing else I need to hear from you.”

And with that, Malachi disconnected the call.

Saul let out a breath and leaned his head back on his headrest.  He folded his arms over his face and cried harder than he had in a long time.